Yar today is a totemo, ultra BAD day.
Had stomach pains and a bit of diahoria the night before.
This morning, woke up with really bad pain and went to the loo.
But pain still there.
So suffered persistent pain, went again, still pain.
Later an hour later, I decided to go to work instead of mc.
Cos got work to prepare and do.
I bought my 4D and ate my lunch of porridge.
Immediate after, almost doubled over from the stomache.
OMFG!
Walked slowly to take the train and continue on my way.
Went straight to the loo again.
Still got pain... severely regretted not taking mc.
Later my other problem started...
the hot weather plus cold aircon...
until I almost vomitted out.
Today is relatively light compared to other days.
Got out once its over.
Very stoned on the bus ride.
Now feeling much better.
Tom is a long day.
Cant wait for the week to end, weekends, I MISS YOU!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Chronicle of 1 workday to remind myself why I want OUT
This was done last week, the ultimate frustrating week of fixing up internet, horribly late sleeping due partly to dad, adjustment. I just used the phone to type out my thoughts in sms and save them up. Now I want to ink them before I delete them as a reminder just why do I want to get OUT.
*Each number infront represents the order of the sms. Mostly typed over 2 days, on my way to work*
1) Here I am chronicling the entire range of emotions from the moment I wake up until I sleep. Its to serve as a reminder to myself why I really want to leave this job.
2) Its the same range of emotions experienced except there are some days where its better and some that are really negative. When I first open my eyes, the feeling is unwillingness to wake, cursing the fact that I am a light sleeper so cant go back to sleep easily. Also not that much time left to zzz.
3) After walking out from the room to brush my teeth n wash my face, I look into the tired looking reflectionof myself, asking how the F did I get into this?
4) Thirst plagued me yet only drink plain water cos no appetite for anything. Anything else would give me tummy pangs that plagued me for 20mins b4 going to the loo.
5) After a bout of loo-going, the pangs may or may not subside cos there are times have to go again later and even later. Next is deciding what to eat.
6) There's not much at home. At times, drink instant milo , chew half a bread, biscuit. Cos partly due to the stomach pangs, no appetite.
7) Didnt want to aggravate the pangs yet eventually tried to eat something so wont binge at dinner. With that its about time to leave. Got ready and made my way.
*only now with changes to my timing, do I have the chance to even stuff something down. From Jan until now, hardly eat a thing before I leave*
8) Walking towards the lift, I again asked myself why am I doing this? For the $, bond. Dun think its to kill time. No job satisfaction, depressed.
9) these thoughts would be drowned out when I plug in the mp3 and listen to rock music. Then the mind goes into a suspended state of not thinking about anything.
10) yet if the music is slow, my mind drifts back to where it left up. The rock music is like a release for the pent up anger, irritation. Its like having to do a therapy session for myself before I reach work so I can teach without resentment and irritation, deliver the lesson with ideas in my head.
11) By th etime I walk in, I am drained by this entire episode. THen if stomach pangs let up, rush to the toilet to do my 2nd or 3rd biz.
12) NOw I am feeling drained. Today I had to go in early, I buy a bao and eat it. Start up the slow laptop. Try mentally to go thru the things to do.
13) A hectic day of admin work plus meeting n discussions about things to do. NOt much real work done in terms of marking, preparation. See the lack of time? Also unwillingness to do work at home on weekends?
14) Left almost an hour late after dismissal. Marking off quickly 1 set of ws. Then its the mind-numbing routine of mp3 therapy to 'kill' time, cure mood.
15) This thought of whether I can keep doing this, keeps popping up. Would things have been different if there was no bond? Would I even have the stamina to stay in any other job? I do get bored with my job easily esp if its cyclical and things happen without contraol. Also want something without human contact esp customer care. Not that I suck but dun want to handle difficult people. Research, report, data seems to be a strength though boring but avoid the people issues. Also something that does not take up all my waking hours and thoughts. That one can just leave it at the workplace and go back to it the next day.
16) Though the music is relaxing my mind, the issues resurface now and then. I am almost home but mentally exhausted after all these. I am planning to go in earlier to mark the backlog piling up. Have a few errands to do on my way which I am deferring until my travel route matches it, cos there are 3 routes. The sky is dark now. Few more hours to tom and I dun want it to end. Now kinda vulnerable, tired, forgetful, accident-prone, drop things.
17) Just a few more steps to freedom. I reached home well after 8pm. Trying to sleep at 11pm was thwarted by my dad and his loud tv. Only after I kept hearing for an hour, the tv commercials then I went out to see that he had fallen asleep with the tv blaring. Switched off everything b4 I could fall asleep. Woke up near 6am, could hear my first sister going about getting ready. Put the bolster securely around my eyess and ears, slept on. Woke up near 8am, heard my other sister getting ready. By now the room is bright as it faced east, ie the sun. Covered my eyes with bolster and try to go back to sleep. Around 9am then got up. Intended to leave around 10am but was trying to fix up the internet. After lunch (which I had to stuffed down, cos no appetite, I left) Left near 11am. Its not really late but since I have to travel quite far, it meant I arrived near noon.I HATE THE JOURNEY!
*Each number infront represents the order of the sms. Mostly typed over 2 days, on my way to work*
1) Here I am chronicling the entire range of emotions from the moment I wake up until I sleep. Its to serve as a reminder to myself why I really want to leave this job.
2) Its the same range of emotions experienced except there are some days where its better and some that are really negative. When I first open my eyes, the feeling is unwillingness to wake, cursing the fact that I am a light sleeper so cant go back to sleep easily. Also not that much time left to zzz.
3) After walking out from the room to brush my teeth n wash my face, I look into the tired looking reflectionof myself, asking how the F did I get into this?
4) Thirst plagued me yet only drink plain water cos no appetite for anything. Anything else would give me tummy pangs that plagued me for 20mins b4 going to the loo.
5) After a bout of loo-going, the pangs may or may not subside cos there are times have to go again later and even later. Next is deciding what to eat.
6) There's not much at home. At times, drink instant milo , chew half a bread, biscuit. Cos partly due to the stomach pangs, no appetite.
7) Didnt want to aggravate the pangs yet eventually tried to eat something so wont binge at dinner. With that its about time to leave. Got ready and made my way.
*only now with changes to my timing, do I have the chance to even stuff something down. From Jan until now, hardly eat a thing before I leave*
8) Walking towards the lift, I again asked myself why am I doing this? For the $, bond. Dun think its to kill time. No job satisfaction, depressed.
9) these thoughts would be drowned out when I plug in the mp3 and listen to rock music. Then the mind goes into a suspended state of not thinking about anything.
10) yet if the music is slow, my mind drifts back to where it left up. The rock music is like a release for the pent up anger, irritation. Its like having to do a therapy session for myself before I reach work so I can teach without resentment and irritation, deliver the lesson with ideas in my head.
11) By th etime I walk in, I am drained by this entire episode. THen if stomach pangs let up, rush to the toilet to do my 2nd or 3rd biz.
12) NOw I am feeling drained. Today I had to go in early, I buy a bao and eat it. Start up the slow laptop. Try mentally to go thru the things to do.
13) A hectic day of admin work plus meeting n discussions about things to do. NOt much real work done in terms of marking, preparation. See the lack of time? Also unwillingness to do work at home on weekends?
14) Left almost an hour late after dismissal. Marking off quickly 1 set of ws. Then its the mind-numbing routine of mp3 therapy to 'kill' time, cure mood.
15) This thought of whether I can keep doing this, keeps popping up. Would things have been different if there was no bond? Would I even have the stamina to stay in any other job? I do get bored with my job easily esp if its cyclical and things happen without contraol. Also want something without human contact esp customer care. Not that I suck but dun want to handle difficult people. Research, report, data seems to be a strength though boring but avoid the people issues. Also something that does not take up all my waking hours and thoughts. That one can just leave it at the workplace and go back to it the next day.
16) Though the music is relaxing my mind, the issues resurface now and then. I am almost home but mentally exhausted after all these. I am planning to go in earlier to mark the backlog piling up. Have a few errands to do on my way which I am deferring until my travel route matches it, cos there are 3 routes. The sky is dark now. Few more hours to tom and I dun want it to end. Now kinda vulnerable, tired, forgetful, accident-prone, drop things.
17) Just a few more steps to freedom. I reached home well after 8pm. Trying to sleep at 11pm was thwarted by my dad and his loud tv. Only after I kept hearing for an hour, the tv commercials then I went out to see that he had fallen asleep with the tv blaring. Switched off everything b4 I could fall asleep. Woke up near 6am, could hear my first sister going about getting ready. Put the bolster securely around my eyess and ears, slept on. Woke up near 8am, heard my other sister getting ready. By now the room is bright as it faced east, ie the sun. Covered my eyes with bolster and try to go back to sleep. Around 9am then got up. Intended to leave around 10am but was trying to fix up the internet. After lunch (which I had to stuffed down, cos no appetite, I left) Left near 11am. Its not really late but since I have to travel quite far, it meant I arrived near noon.I HATE THE JOURNEY!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
God its Hell...
Work is hell.
Suffering from acute work-blues and holiday withdrawal symptom. Been so blue, I can sing Blue da da dee
Mostly due to unmotivated self.
Not used to the changes to my current work, adjusting
Partly from lack of sleep due to Dad.
Partly from lack of sleep/irritation from internet episode (below)
Partly from adjustment in body clock.
Partly from fatique from travelling a long journey, with a mp3 player that is flat.
3-4 days without internet is Hell too!
My max online, ultimate means 1Gps connection fell to neligible snail speeds for the past 2 weeks and fell to nil for the past 3 days. It means I am paying quite a lot but cant even open a webpage. Calling the help desk, through talking with the officers trying to trouble shoot.
Day 1- Tue, on my way home from work, I bought a new 2-way connection, $14 which didnt solve the problem. One day without internet. Over the phone, the officer said the tv cable is only recommended to 2m, mine was 15m... Had an earlier post where I gone through a lot of trouble to buy the cable, fix it up and hang it above the walls until it reached the computer table from the door... Then the guy who fixed up last time failed to mention which cable that could be 15m. I understood it as the tv cable, but it seems to be the ethernet cable instead. OMG!
Day 2- Wed, bought a 15m ethernet cable which turned out to be a 15m phone cable! And I went through the trouble fixing it up, hanging it all around and above the wall. OMFG!!! I was sweating horribly and in a terribly foul mood (cos I went to get a shorter tv cable on my way from work. Then without resting, went about to fix things. Imagine the tiredness, FISH it man.) Argh! Fixed up the modem nearer to the tv, so that its not 15m away connected by tv cable. Used the newly bought but shorter tv cable at the 2-way split. BUT it didnt work! OMG!.
Day 3- Used my laptop near the tv this morning, it can work. Today resolved to ask for refund or replacement for the short faulty cable, plus get a 15m long ethernet cable! Got it on my way home after work. This time double checked with my laptop set up near the tv, fixed up the tv cable and 15m ethernet cable, all working. Plus set up the router near the tv also. Once verified working, set about with my sister's help to pull the ethernet cable around and on the wall. After all the hard work and irritation, frustration, anger, finally it worked!
For the past 3-4 days, its pure frustration and irritation. I had to buy the stuff after work, in the evening, on my way back home, meaning instead of getting down at my normal stop and walking straight home in a zombified mode, I had to get down at a further stop, walk to the shop, buy it, walk a longer route home. Then almost immediately spend about half hr to 1hr fixing things up. Sweating cos the weather's been really hot. Then spend some time fuming when it didnt work, spend time calling up Starhub only to have nobody pick up the phone. And they have to cheek to tell me their customer care is 24/7. How am I supposed to fax when I dun have a fax machine or send an email, when I dun have internet access at all? Then in irritation realized its 11 or 12am already, tried going to bed only to have another episode of my Dad and his bloody loud tv. I didnt sleep until he slept.
I am just very relieved that everything is working now. At least can have a venue to vent. Can go online to do something relaxing at night and even in the mornings when I am up.
Suffering from acute work-blues and holiday withdrawal symptom. Been so blue, I can sing Blue da da dee
Mostly due to unmotivated self.
Not used to the changes to my current work, adjusting
Partly from lack of sleep due to Dad.
Partly from lack of sleep/irritation from internet episode (below)
Partly from adjustment in body clock.
Partly from fatique from travelling a long journey, with a mp3 player that is flat.
3-4 days without internet is Hell too!
My max online, ultimate means 1Gps connection fell to neligible snail speeds for the past 2 weeks and fell to nil for the past 3 days. It means I am paying quite a lot but cant even open a webpage. Calling the help desk, through talking with the officers trying to trouble shoot.
Day 1- Tue, on my way home from work, I bought a new 2-way connection, $14 which didnt solve the problem. One day without internet. Over the phone, the officer said the tv cable is only recommended to 2m, mine was 15m... Had an earlier post where I gone through a lot of trouble to buy the cable, fix it up and hang it above the walls until it reached the computer table from the door... Then the guy who fixed up last time failed to mention which cable that could be 15m. I understood it as the tv cable, but it seems to be the ethernet cable instead. OMG!
Day 2- Wed, bought a 15m ethernet cable which turned out to be a 15m phone cable! And I went through the trouble fixing it up, hanging it all around and above the wall. OMFG!!! I was sweating horribly and in a terribly foul mood (cos I went to get a shorter tv cable on my way from work. Then without resting, went about to fix things. Imagine the tiredness, FISH it man.) Argh! Fixed up the modem nearer to the tv, so that its not 15m away connected by tv cable. Used the newly bought but shorter tv cable at the 2-way split. BUT it didnt work! OMG!.
Day 3- Used my laptop near the tv this morning, it can work. Today resolved to ask for refund or replacement for the short faulty cable, plus get a 15m long ethernet cable! Got it on my way home after work. This time double checked with my laptop set up near the tv, fixed up the tv cable and 15m ethernet cable, all working. Plus set up the router near the tv also. Once verified working, set about with my sister's help to pull the ethernet cable around and on the wall. After all the hard work and irritation, frustration, anger, finally it worked!
For the past 3-4 days, its pure frustration and irritation. I had to buy the stuff after work, in the evening, on my way back home, meaning instead of getting down at my normal stop and walking straight home in a zombified mode, I had to get down at a further stop, walk to the shop, buy it, walk a longer route home. Then almost immediately spend about half hr to 1hr fixing things up. Sweating cos the weather's been really hot. Then spend some time fuming when it didnt work, spend time calling up Starhub only to have nobody pick up the phone. And they have to cheek to tell me their customer care is 24/7. How am I supposed to fax when I dun have a fax machine or send an email, when I dun have internet access at all? Then in irritation realized its 11 or 12am already, tried going to bed only to have another episode of my Dad and his bloody loud tv. I didnt sleep until he slept.
I am just very relieved that everything is working now. At least can have a venue to vent. Can go online to do something relaxing at night and even in the mornings when I am up.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Changing blog layouts are tiring
Err attempted to clear up my blog's layout, as I suspect its either the slideshow or the mp3 player that caused this blog to lag/freeze/not work at times.
Looked for nice blog skins, found, downloaded but when I tried putting it into Blogger, I cant... Dunno how to make out the steps they gave, since it involved some java coding and its confusing.
Settled for changing the layout instead.
Simple stuff for now. Until I've got more stuff to add on. eg design my own header pic, do up another slide show, more mp3 or video files, or even put up a list that I can add onto everytime I drink a new alcoholic drink?
Oh btw, the Dream car is a Lotus. Got the pic from the homepage and I customised it to my preference. Given the soaring price of fuel, the only car I'll have is my 'kah' (legs in hokkien)
Oh yar the US Dow Jones fell below its support of 12000. Maybe in for a ride? Well that lot of share I've bought is for longer term investment. Hence if prices falls by another 50cents, may go in. For now, just watching at the sideline. It still remains to be seen.
Looked for nice blog skins, found, downloaded but when I tried putting it into Blogger, I cant... Dunno how to make out the steps they gave, since it involved some java coding and its confusing.
Settled for changing the layout instead.
Simple stuff for now. Until I've got more stuff to add on. eg design my own header pic, do up another slide show, more mp3 or video files, or even put up a list that I can add onto everytime I drink a new alcoholic drink?
Oh btw, the Dream car is a Lotus. Got the pic from the homepage and I customised it to my preference. Given the soaring price of fuel, the only car I'll have is my 'kah' (legs in hokkien)
Oh yar the US Dow Jones fell below its support of 12000. Maybe in for a ride? Well that lot of share I've bought is for longer term investment. Hence if prices falls by another 50cents, may go in. For now, just watching at the sideline. It still remains to be seen.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Some happenings
Came back on Thurs late afternoon via KMT (malaysian railway) and headed for Jap class cos I had a wedding to attend on Sat.
Friday spent resting at home. Downloaded Youtube downloader and converted the PV (music videos) into PSP files to put inside Aoi.
Sat went to explore the Turf City (old one) with my sister, cos never been there. The antiquity surprises me and reminds us both of msia when we walked around. Only things bought were Bacadi Breezer - Cranberry (new) , peach and orange from Giant at a steal of $3.95 each. The Cranberry is very nice, lite and reminds me of a nice soda. Only prob was when I saw the same one at Cold Storage yest, it cost $5.95 instead. Should have bought more then... signz
Evening travelled to quite northern part of spore for the wedding. Its a first for me cos its a different ethnicity one. Anyway it turned out not enough seats cos those invited brought their whole family plus extended family, unlike the typical ones where invited means only you plus maybe your other if u are married. So ended up sitting at where I REALLY didnt want to sit at. Nvm, took out Aoi and played and watched PVs to avoid small talk after the buffet, where again it was a first. The queue was so so long. Luckily I had an ultra late brunch with my sister after our Turf city adventure. Just ate a piece of each of the dish. Think I still overpaid in the angbao (I've reduced it by $10 after I saw the setting and setup) but given that some brought so many members along and still one angbao, think I've helped to defray the losses a bit.
Sun went for gym with sister in the morning. Afternoon went to see sinseh for persistent pain in my right elbow. Evening, treated my Dad and family to Father's Day at Long John Silver (his choice). Late in the night from 10pm to almost 1am, I finally tidied up my room so that there is space for walking. Threw out almost all my university clothes, plus my contract teaching clothes, packed them up for Salvation army. Cleared and tidied enough that finally I could walk around in the room, could open my storage drawers to get clothes.
Mon stayed at home, online reading and stuff. Went to buy Toto, update bank a/c and helped my mom change money to RM, current exchange rate 236.50Rm per S$100. Came back hot and sweaty, headed out with Dad and sister to buy his chair. Went to Holland Village for my sister to buy working ladies shoes, not covered ones. I bought a pair of Nickolodean slippers @$25 that resembled the Burkenstock model that Tab favours. My sis bought 3 pairs at $30 each. For those with bigger size, Holland Village caters to Ang Moh sizes. So a havan for those with bigger than Asian size problems, not necessarily cheaper though, there are bargains.
Tue today didnt go back to work cos didnt feel like it. Its still not compulsory yet, had wanted to go back to clear up some marking but just didnt feel up to it. Still have 1 piece of work pending. I finished the momoliath one while staying in msia. Just havent worked up the mood to do it yet. Will try to do it later on.
Spent some time while looking at the live stock market prices in Poem. I do track them a bit on and off, not everyday since last August. Still havent really gotten an investment strategy of my own, cos relied on my Dad's perception of the market. Didnt have the confidence to start buying on my own. Cos there was a time this feb/mar when I wanted to just plunge in but luckily I held up and just did a paper trade. ie I pretend to buy at a certain price on a certain day. Then the stock fell and though it went up later, from P1 past P2, it never reached the high price that I 'paid' for it. Hence I decided I should just track the prices until I can decide where is a decent price within budget to go in. Of course being prepared for the downside as well, as in its not money that I will need in an emergency.
Basically the story is this, at least from my data from Aug to now. There are 2 days where the stock market fell drastically, P1 and P2, P2 is higher than P1. Now at least for the stocks I am tracking, some are approaching P2. Still havent fallen there but hovering quite near to it, say 10-20 cents difference, ie $100-200 difference. Though my Dad's perception is that there will be bigger falls yet and its not a time for buying.
I had 2 orders of 1 lot for 2 stocks I am tracking. I believe its a okay price for now, based on my data. So far one executed, other is not cos the price is trading above what I am willing to pay. I am not doing contra, so not sitting on the hot seat. Just proper investing. Ie have enough to pay for the stock. Its interesting just how much about the trading platform I can learn from actually investing. Also one thing they never taught is that after buying, you may start to have doubts about your decision. A lot of 'What ifs' appears. Well at some point, have to be mentally prepared to sit through the price fluctuations and the consequence of your decision and also your investment strategy and beliefs.
No gurantee of returns cos no news of dividends yet at least for this quarter, price increase is anybody's guess. But its still better knowing that at least now I have made the first step to invest on my own, with doing some research, with monitoring the market, trying to build my own investment strategy and also trying to think of how much returns should I expect before selling, how much of a loss I can handle or sit through. Also that a bit of my money is now 'working' for me instead of me just working.
It is definitely near impossible for me to invest every cent and expect a return that is my annual income, unless one gambles and speculates. A job is still required. I hope to be able to slowly and gradually build up an alternative revenue source of about 20%. It will take a while. But slowly and carefully first. I suspect still got lots to learn, now that I have 1 lot independent of my Dad's portfolio and outside the domains he usually looks at.
Also only recently then I added tracking the DJI and STI index to just get a gauge of the markets, whether its falling or rising. A simple gauge only. Havent tried any technical charting. Still not sure how to go about the calculations. But yahoo has the charts. Not that confident of my reading of the charts yet, havent finished that book yet.
There is like 2 more hours now before the ST market stops trading. My other order still not being filled. Now I am really learning the virtue of waiting. Its easy to say wait for the price. But now I can see Sellers wanting to sell a bit higher and my bif is lower with no seller selling. So the question is should I just bid higher? or just wait cos the market may (only) weaken or strengthen... So hence the dilemna. If you go bid higher just so you can get your orders filled, then if stock prices goes down, more losses, even if prices go up, lesser gain. The other side of the argument is if you are already committing thousand of dollars, what that difference of 100 or so? Its really easy to say when one is on the sideline, but now inside, its a different thing altogether. You just have to decide, stick or change and live with your choices. Its not as easy as it sounds.
I want to go out but not to anywhere far or exotic nor do I intend to stay out late. Its just restlessness.
Friday spent resting at home. Downloaded Youtube downloader and converted the PV (music videos) into PSP files to put inside Aoi.
Sat went to explore the Turf City (old one) with my sister, cos never been there. The antiquity surprises me and reminds us both of msia when we walked around. Only things bought were Bacadi Breezer - Cranberry (new) , peach and orange from Giant at a steal of $3.95 each. The Cranberry is very nice, lite and reminds me of a nice soda. Only prob was when I saw the same one at Cold Storage yest, it cost $5.95 instead. Should have bought more then... signz
Evening travelled to quite northern part of spore for the wedding. Its a first for me cos its a different ethnicity one. Anyway it turned out not enough seats cos those invited brought their whole family plus extended family, unlike the typical ones where invited means only you plus maybe your other if u are married. So ended up sitting at where I REALLY didnt want to sit at. Nvm, took out Aoi and played and watched PVs to avoid small talk after the buffet, where again it was a first. The queue was so so long. Luckily I had an ultra late brunch with my sister after our Turf city adventure. Just ate a piece of each of the dish. Think I still overpaid in the angbao (I've reduced it by $10 after I saw the setting and setup) but given that some brought so many members along and still one angbao, think I've helped to defray the losses a bit.
Sun went for gym with sister in the morning. Afternoon went to see sinseh for persistent pain in my right elbow. Evening, treated my Dad and family to Father's Day at Long John Silver (his choice). Late in the night from 10pm to almost 1am, I finally tidied up my room so that there is space for walking. Threw out almost all my university clothes, plus my contract teaching clothes, packed them up for Salvation army. Cleared and tidied enough that finally I could walk around in the room, could open my storage drawers to get clothes.
Mon stayed at home, online reading and stuff. Went to buy Toto, update bank a/c and helped my mom change money to RM, current exchange rate 236.50Rm per S$100. Came back hot and sweaty, headed out with Dad and sister to buy his chair. Went to Holland Village for my sister to buy working ladies shoes, not covered ones. I bought a pair of Nickolodean slippers @$25 that resembled the Burkenstock model that Tab favours. My sis bought 3 pairs at $30 each. For those with bigger size, Holland Village caters to Ang Moh sizes. So a havan for those with bigger than Asian size problems, not necessarily cheaper though, there are bargains.
Tue today didnt go back to work cos didnt feel like it. Its still not compulsory yet, had wanted to go back to clear up some marking but just didnt feel up to it. Still have 1 piece of work pending. I finished the momoliath one while staying in msia. Just havent worked up the mood to do it yet. Will try to do it later on.
Spent some time while looking at the live stock market prices in Poem. I do track them a bit on and off, not everyday since last August. Still havent really gotten an investment strategy of my own, cos relied on my Dad's perception of the market. Didnt have the confidence to start buying on my own. Cos there was a time this feb/mar when I wanted to just plunge in but luckily I held up and just did a paper trade. ie I pretend to buy at a certain price on a certain day. Then the stock fell and though it went up later, from P1 past P2, it never reached the high price that I 'paid' for it. Hence I decided I should just track the prices until I can decide where is a decent price within budget to go in. Of course being prepared for the downside as well, as in its not money that I will need in an emergency.
Basically the story is this, at least from my data from Aug to now. There are 2 days where the stock market fell drastically, P1 and P2, P2 is higher than P1. Now at least for the stocks I am tracking, some are approaching P2. Still havent fallen there but hovering quite near to it, say 10-20 cents difference, ie $100-200 difference. Though my Dad's perception is that there will be bigger falls yet and its not a time for buying.
I had 2 orders of 1 lot for 2 stocks I am tracking. I believe its a okay price for now, based on my data. So far one executed, other is not cos the price is trading above what I am willing to pay. I am not doing contra, so not sitting on the hot seat. Just proper investing. Ie have enough to pay for the stock. Its interesting just how much about the trading platform I can learn from actually investing. Also one thing they never taught is that after buying, you may start to have doubts about your decision. A lot of 'What ifs' appears. Well at some point, have to be mentally prepared to sit through the price fluctuations and the consequence of your decision and also your investment strategy and beliefs.
No gurantee of returns cos no news of dividends yet at least for this quarter, price increase is anybody's guess. But its still better knowing that at least now I have made the first step to invest on my own, with doing some research, with monitoring the market, trying to build my own investment strategy and also trying to think of how much returns should I expect before selling, how much of a loss I can handle or sit through. Also that a bit of my money is now 'working' for me instead of me just working.
It is definitely near impossible for me to invest every cent and expect a return that is my annual income, unless one gambles and speculates. A job is still required. I hope to be able to slowly and gradually build up an alternative revenue source of about 20%. It will take a while. But slowly and carefully first. I suspect still got lots to learn, now that I have 1 lot independent of my Dad's portfolio and outside the domains he usually looks at.
Also only recently then I added tracking the DJI and STI index to just get a gauge of the markets, whether its falling or rising. A simple gauge only. Havent tried any technical charting. Still not sure how to go about the calculations. But yahoo has the charts. Not that confident of my reading of the charts yet, havent finished that book yet.
There is like 2 more hours now before the ST market stops trading. My other order still not being filled. Now I am really learning the virtue of waiting. Its easy to say wait for the price. But now I can see Sellers wanting to sell a bit higher and my bif is lower with no seller selling. So the question is should I just bid higher? or just wait cos the market may (only) weaken or strengthen... So hence the dilemna. If you go bid higher just so you can get your orders filled, then if stock prices goes down, more losses, even if prices go up, lesser gain. The other side of the argument is if you are already committing thousand of dollars, what that difference of 100 or so? Its really easy to say when one is on the sideline, but now inside, its a different thing altogether. You just have to decide, stick or change and live with your choices. Its not as easy as it sounds.
I want to go out but not to anywhere far or exotic nor do I intend to stay out late. Its just restlessness.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Eat, Drink and Be Merry also,cuss about work
Yar that somewhat defines what happened today.
After my session with the sinseh for my wrist, plus update about Chinese astrology plus palm reading... I met up with Tab in Orchard for dinner then jap class.
Took a cab and got into a massive jam as there was a severe accident that resulted in the closure of 3 lanes. My heart had a massive accident from seeing the metre jump and jump... Anyway it was much much more expensive than it could have. Trust some idiots to drive fast fast on a rainy day.
On the way there, was discussing with Tab about how a friend of hers had to literally pay the weight in gold for 2 blobs of flesh. Yep its worth its weight in gold. Even from long ago, man has paid a premium for these 2 blobs of flesh. A target of envy amongst women. Its only up until then, then I finally learnt the value of those blobs, albeit thru her friend's example.
Then we travelled for Jap. Jap classes for the new intake is starting soon around Aug. There is no more sat slots. All weekday slots. Am intending to try to take Level 5B plus JLPT 4, both on consecutive days. Well just pia thru. Dun want to after finish Level 7 then use another 4 years to get JLPT4,3,2,1 Its insane. I would have to go to the centre for 11 years. OMG!
Later we ended up in Timbre with a slight drizzle. Hence we settled for the counter seats which is good in a way. Drinks are served fast since the bartendar is just right infront. Empty cups are noticed very quickly, and cleared. Then more drinks ordered and filled. The pizza is delicious still. Each of us had like 3 drinks. Way way more than the usual. I had a Fruitty cocktail, a beer and a champange. Tab had a brandy, blended and a champange too.
Guess what gradually became the topic, as the glasses emptied?
Work.
Nah its not that we ran out of topics, before that we were playing DJ Portable 2 on my psp and trying to hit Max Combo and discussing about the game.
Its just easier to talk about work without too much prejudice (envy about bonus, thinks that our line has easy work blah blah all those streotypes) when speaking to a fellow worker. Easier to talk to one who knows the REAL story. Anyway for all the so-called perks? (lower pay than pte anyway, even bonus lower than pte, pay increment lower than pte, working hours could span from morning all the way until end of afternoon session, almost working non-stop, hardly much of a lunch and blah blah blah)
We both agree that for the so-called increment/pay revision/pegging pay/increment/promotion to performance, its just ends up asking for a pound of flesh in return. (Didnt realize up until then that my literature still remained with me. For all I know, it was my worst subject in secondary and I am amazed that I can crap with literature)
Oh well as of mid-June, it would be 12 more months left. I may last all the way to 2009. BUT 2010 is anyone's guess cos according to Chinese Astrology, its the ultra suay year for me. Luck is at its lowest, in the dumps. May get sued. So best solution I think of is be a bum for 1 year (WOOH! If I could, I would. See how things go... Never envisioned myself to aim to be a bum when I first started out)
After my session with the sinseh for my wrist, plus update about Chinese astrology plus palm reading... I met up with Tab in Orchard for dinner then jap class.
Took a cab and got into a massive jam as there was a severe accident that resulted in the closure of 3 lanes. My heart had a massive accident from seeing the metre jump and jump... Anyway it was much much more expensive than it could have. Trust some idiots to drive fast fast on a rainy day.
On the way there, was discussing with Tab about how a friend of hers had to literally pay the weight in gold for 2 blobs of flesh. Yep its worth its weight in gold. Even from long ago, man has paid a premium for these 2 blobs of flesh. A target of envy amongst women. Its only up until then, then I finally learnt the value of those blobs, albeit thru her friend's example.
Then we travelled for Jap. Jap classes for the new intake is starting soon around Aug. There is no more sat slots. All weekday slots. Am intending to try to take Level 5B plus JLPT 4, both on consecutive days. Well just pia thru. Dun want to after finish Level 7 then use another 4 years to get JLPT4,3,2,1 Its insane. I would have to go to the centre for 11 years. OMG!
Later we ended up in Timbre with a slight drizzle. Hence we settled for the counter seats which is good in a way. Drinks are served fast since the bartendar is just right infront. Empty cups are noticed very quickly, and cleared. Then more drinks ordered and filled. The pizza is delicious still. Each of us had like 3 drinks. Way way more than the usual. I had a Fruitty cocktail, a beer and a champange. Tab had a brandy, blended and a champange too.
Guess what gradually became the topic, as the glasses emptied?
Work.
Nah its not that we ran out of topics, before that we were playing DJ Portable 2 on my psp and trying to hit Max Combo and discussing about the game.
Its just easier to talk about work without too much prejudice (envy about bonus, thinks that our line has easy work blah blah all those streotypes) when speaking to a fellow worker. Easier to talk to one who knows the REAL story. Anyway for all the so-called perks? (lower pay than pte anyway, even bonus lower than pte, pay increment lower than pte, working hours could span from morning all the way until end of afternoon session, almost working non-stop, hardly much of a lunch and blah blah blah)
We both agree that for the so-called increment/pay revision/pegging pay/increment/promotion to performance, its just ends up asking for a pound of flesh in return. (Didnt realize up until then that my literature still remained with me. For all I know, it was my worst subject in secondary and I am amazed that I can crap with literature)
Oh well as of mid-June, it would be 12 more months left. I may last all the way to 2009. BUT 2010 is anyone's guess cos according to Chinese Astrology, its the ultra suay year for me. Luck is at its lowest, in the dumps. May get sued. So best solution I think of is be a bum for 1 year (WOOH! If I could, I would. See how things go... Never envisioned myself to aim to be a bum when I first started out)
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Back to the simplicity of life
For the past couple of days, I find that I finally have the reprieve to do simple things that somewhat for me, defines the simplicity of life.
Things like waking up a bit later and sweeping the floor.
Things like walking next door to buy my lunch and eat infront of the television watching SCV.
Walking without hurry to pay the bills (wallet bleeds from income tax...)
Answering my parents call to bring the trolley down and help carry up their stuff from their return from msia.
And sleeping whenever I feel tired, without the alarm clock. Am surprised at the fatique level. Would wake up still close to my normal time, try to go back to sleep then near 4pm, falling asleep until 6pm.
Simple things that I wont have the time to do once work begins again.
Always in a hurry to go places, do things. No time to enjoy the same simple tasks which were seen as mundane, time-wasting, takes effort or even if one wanted to do it, no mental or physical energy to do it. Guess that somewhat defines what is meant by working life and being a bum.
Things like waking up a bit later and sweeping the floor.
Things like walking next door to buy my lunch and eat infront of the television watching SCV.
Walking without hurry to pay the bills (wallet bleeds from income tax...)
Answering my parents call to bring the trolley down and help carry up their stuff from their return from msia.
And sleeping whenever I feel tired, without the alarm clock. Am surprised at the fatique level. Would wake up still close to my normal time, try to go back to sleep then near 4pm, falling asleep until 6pm.
Simple things that I wont have the time to do once work begins again.
Always in a hurry to go places, do things. No time to enjoy the same simple tasks which were seen as mundane, time-wasting, takes effort or even if one wanted to do it, no mental or physical energy to do it. Guess that somewhat defines what is meant by working life and being a bum.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Freedom!!! Dun let it end
As of last Sat 12pm, my 'holidays' officially started (though I had dabaoed all my work home) It will last for 2 weeks. It will be a working holiday, ie there are stuff to be done and I have to do them by hook or by crook during the 2 weeks. The difference is that I dun have to turn up at my workplace.
BUT on sat evening, I met up with my jc friends for dinner. Barely into 5 minutes, I was bombarded with questions about my work.
"Heard u got pay revision, so good"
"Have your holidays started?"
"How much time for your bond?"
"Civil so good, got extra $$ for inflation"
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I was bombarded with questions about the last subject I want to hear about... My holiday had just started for 4 hours then. But as I understood that that friend was considering a jump to educator, I told him that I would allow 5 more mins of questioning b4 I would refuse to answer anymore.
That aside, later true to their words they didnt ask me anymore about my work. BUT that same friend was now complaining about HIS work, the issues, diff clients, can of worms he uncovered... He was rambling almost non-stop over dinner. Then as we walked to a hidden ice-cream place too and later over the journey by car (one of them got a Nissan Latio)to the Macs. OMG!!! He needed to get a life or find an outlet for his unhappiness or pent-up energy from his work.
Later he got the hint (my bored facial expression, blank look and even saying out that we are not here to talk about work) and he tried very hard to keep from talking about work. Anyway it was a long discussion about marriage and looking for spouses, bf/gf. Guess we're all at that stage in life.
And again, despite my pay revision, I am still the lowest paid amongst them. Some in the 3.7k region, others in the 4.5-5k region... Oh well, I try to save more.
BTW, the spicy Mc Nuggets are very tasty!
BUT on sat evening, I met up with my jc friends for dinner. Barely into 5 minutes, I was bombarded with questions about my work.
"Heard u got pay revision, so good"
"Have your holidays started?"
"How much time for your bond?"
"Civil so good, got extra $$ for inflation"
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
I was bombarded with questions about the last subject I want to hear about... My holiday had just started for 4 hours then. But as I understood that that friend was considering a jump to educator, I told him that I would allow 5 more mins of questioning b4 I would refuse to answer anymore.
That aside, later true to their words they didnt ask me anymore about my work. BUT that same friend was now complaining about HIS work, the issues, diff clients, can of worms he uncovered... He was rambling almost non-stop over dinner. Then as we walked to a hidden ice-cream place too and later over the journey by car (one of them got a Nissan Latio)to the Macs. OMG!!! He needed to get a life or find an outlet for his unhappiness or pent-up energy from his work.
Later he got the hint (my bored facial expression, blank look and even saying out that we are not here to talk about work) and he tried very hard to keep from talking about work. Anyway it was a long discussion about marriage and looking for spouses, bf/gf. Guess we're all at that stage in life.
And again, despite my pay revision, I am still the lowest paid amongst them. Some in the 3.7k region, others in the 4.5-5k region... Oh well, I try to save more.
BTW, the spicy Mc Nuggets are very tasty!
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