Stressed n tired

Since the start of the second term, I was left mentally exhausted daily that I skipped KM, concuss many times. Many times with a mixed drink to shut off the overtly many thoughts. Think too much is one very obvious flaw of mine. So the alcohol shuts down the mental thoughts and I could sleep. I guess just too many things on my plate at work. Just glad no family troubles to add to that.

By far, this week was the worst. I did restart KM, going for a double session which turned out pretty good. I felt better and even normal on Tue morning, only to be thoroughly drained after the heavy day. 

Due to privacy hence the lack pf details. i was running around on Thur, heavy day, plus event running around plus having to go check out the venue for the after-party, and the whole waiting around wasted time drained me further. 

By Fri, I was just hoping to get through by but had to flare up once in the four consecutive lessons that I had to endure. Even had to give up going out to buy lunch and even my plans to eat out cos a student asked for help to practice. Then an extra period I gotta be present for the another level event. Plus I was checking diaries and also cleaned up my room by sweeping, dusting etc. Talk about hectic.

Then the welcome party that evening... I would turn even more anti-social cos I was again the only one to turn up there, had to travel down via mrt with rush hour crowd to the red-light district for a meal. Due to long years of not eating spicy stuff, the food gave me diarrhea and stomach pains and pangs that lasted the whole day on Sat. Then the whole drunk female colleague whom luckily for her, not so for me, shared cab. Dropped her off safely. I must avoid more of such functions in future. Not enjoyable, very queer at times, really cultural differences are glaringly obvious.

I just don't want this weekend to end so soon. I need more time to recover. Stomach still diarrhea, body is tired especially the mind. But Sat is over and Sun is here. Just last longer and wake me up after Sept ends.

Turning to the bottle, recipes but improving

Basically in the first week of work, I had trouble sleeping, brain alert and had to wake up early. So in desperation, I grabbed a bottle n poured some into my cup, thinking it was the Honey Bourbon only to realize it was the Chivas. Hence I stuck to that and used whatever mixers I had in stock in my room. So there were some hits and misses. Got a bunch more to try out with time.

Chivas + Bitter Lemons => Yum

Chivas + Dry Ginger Ale => Yum

Chivas + Bundung => Interesting but less  Chivas might be better

Chivas + Tonic water => clash

Chivas + Pineapple juice => clash

Usually it helps me sleep though I wake up earlier than my alarm clock cos either I needed to pee or I was thirsty. Surprisingly irritating that while others drink and slept peacefully late, I end up waking earlier.

Last week alone, I drank 5 out of 7 days. That's an indication of the amount of help I need to fall asleep. Also to shut off the overtly active mind at times. With the alcohol in the system, the numerous thoughts come to a stand-still and it's pleasant muted silence except for very simple thoughts. Then Zzzzz...

This week, thus far, I drank once on Wed, so that's a significant improvement, Found part of my stamina and could get thru some parts with less fatigue but still tired overall. Will resume KM next week instead. I wanna rest up and sleep and so on. Next week I'll go for a double on just one day. Rest up and try to relax before then. 

Today is my somewhat more manageable day, a breather in the entire hectic week, so I used one free period to go practice my drums, it was a good stress-reliever. Felt good but tired. Still don't have to stamina n focus to do an entire song, will lose the rhythm somehow and right leg is tired from all the bass drumming. Think it'll take some time to build that up. It's a good practice. 

Feeling pretty tired these days but noticed I wasn't the only one. Okay, I'm human.

Very Bad Work Blues - just in the 1st week!??

It's very alarming when after work started just this week, by end of Tuesday, I was feeling mentally-drained. 

Partly cos I was actually cleaning up my room, wiping the tables and chairs with soap water, re-arranging the messed-up room cos all the tables and chairs were moved out of the room for floor waxing during the hols hence my things got messed up, tables & chairs got a layer of dust over them. Worst still dunno who went to un-set up the screen and visualizer so I got to plug and set up the wiring and also on my own time, (on Thur) I carried up a ladder to tie up the screen. Grr... Little wonders about the fatigue. Stupid right?

Then cos first day is so mind-numbing from the ceremony and damn long but boring hour long speech by a guest speaker, felt mentally tired. Then the second day, everything starts, including cca. After five lessons, I was seeing stars. 

Finding it hard to be inspiring or excited about the boring context. A slew of bored and tired faces look back at me. Nothing inspirational or original ideas struck me to make it more interesting. Sat thru a long meeting, looking thru those events, roll my eyes at a couple of it. Finally found some time within the week to check through the  holiday homework and for 2days, I didn't even have the chance to go out n but lunch. 

I reached home really mentally-zombified, and fell asleep before or after dinner, only to wake up later around 10pm and couldn't sleep after. Had to make myself a cocktail, down it in a gulp and then knock-out. Nope, didn't overslept. In fact I even woke before the alarm cos the alcohol makes me either thirsty or need to pee. Those woke me up. In this week alone, I drank on 4 weekdays. That's a sign of something... A good outcome is I am mixing different mixers with the Chivas to finish it off. So far, I've found with either Bitter Lemon or Dry Ginger Ale is good. Got more to go.

I checked with a couple of female colleagues and they remarked that they felt really tired, though its just the first week. One shared that she is not particularly motivated, from a myriad of reasons and contributing factors. I asked myself if it is a sign that my time is ending. I did ask myself how long more of it could I endure? Work is getting kinda painful. But I was reminded of how childish I was being by my sister, who said "How many of us really like to work?" I reminded myself of those who had to work much longer hours and harder for a much lower pay, just to bring the bread home. So just gonna suck it in and give it a try again. Take it one day at a time, one week at a time. Dun think so childishly.

Today my mom did a prayer session at home, my usual prayer when I hold the joss sticks, bless my parents n siblings n me with good health n peace of mind. Me I asked for blessings in wealth, esp with the demotivated self n investment loss. Dun mind any $$$ that can fall my way, without having to do a sideline.

On the other hand, in a sort of way, I was kinda happy to skip KM cos of a slightly sore right elbow. Decided to play it safe and let it rest. In the meantime, I put on plasters, muscle cream. It's not severe enough to go to the doctors that type. It felt strained do since I didn't want it to become a permanent injury, I rested and kept and eye on it. It's much better. I am now thinking about how to work KM into my work schedule. Maybe next week, Thur, I'll go for a double, that's all. I can't imagine doing twice or thrice in my current state of mental fatigue n unmotivated self. Maybe go in for a double this Thursday.

A nice finish to the hols, missing it already

Not sleepy yet but work is resuming tom... Will so totally regret this in the morning tomorrow.

This summer holiday is more memorable and feels so much longer. I feel the main reason is cos I am doing stuff, courses, with friends, some unusual and out-of-the-blue, so it's refreshing. Totally forget about working at all, until tomorrow.

Comic-Con:

This is not my first comic con, been to a few already but this is the first where I went for 2 days cos of the ticketing price $19 for single and $25 for 2-days. Not just that but cos of plans to 'help eat a free breakfast', so I'll be in the area, might as well.

The offering this year is much better than previously hence didn't mind going down. Initially I wasn't sure until I looked through the website. Sat, headed there with Tab n DF. Very crowded. Sun, I headed there with Tab after the free breakfast on my part (Plates of savory food; Intercontinental breakfast, watermelon juice and mango-banana smoothie) Ate until so full, I didn't eat anything else until dinner time. Given we ate until 10am.

Totally regretted sleeping at 5am last night n having to wake up at 7.45am to get out of the house to meet to eat the breakfast at the hotel. After the pot of coffee, think I was hyper, then crashed a bit during my drum lesson later on in the afternoon. That's why the second time, in Comic-con, just spent about 40mins inside. Even without drum lessons, I wouldn't be staying there until 5.30pm where the cosplay comes on... Think other countries are so much higher standard n more into character than what I saw just walking around. Not that there aren't good ones, but as one ages, it seems more for the youths. 

Decided on a whim to ask Tab to help me take a few funny poses pics with the life-sized IronMan figures. Wanted to do a being-blasted away shot but with so many people and just my I-phone, it was ok but not as amusing. An idea hot me last night to do a Janken match pic. Cos I didn't have a chance to ask my drum instructors to help me take a drum pic, n I might have to write about my hols, as part of my example to students, decided to get at least one 'interesting' pic to use. Tab asked to use for a photo competition. See how that goes but not used to pic being seen by outside pple. Dunno if even can win, and if get a poster instead, so cheapskate prize too. Think all these stupid post photos are an unconscious influence by colleagues.

In the Comic-con, I didn't spend much, just 3 key-chains and a Tokidoki PVC bag (nicer than the usual supermarket type) Minion figurine toys were tempting but very pricey for $50 n $100 each... Not sure if I liked them enough to want to pay so much. Love my Maplestory snail keychain, too bad they sold-out/couldn't find their Minion ones. I'll KIV next time I see this stall.

Drums:

Improving, not too bad except my tempo is not constant, sometimes too fast or slow. Have to do more metronome training. Moving into once a week lesson on Sundays. Today also moving on to basic drum patterns, much like guitar strumming patterns. 

Work *groanz*

Work is restating tomorrow. I would have some trouble waking up. Haven't ironed anything yet. All wait until tomorrow morning. 

Not going for KM yet cos my right elbow is a bit sore. Think is the over-extension from all the punching. Need to let it rest up. So this week, either I go twice or just once but a double lesson later in in the week so that first week back to work is not so taxing. Take it easy in the initial restarting part.

Cca is restarting, got to bring guitar to workplace. But its tuned one-step down... still got my j-rock song to learn. see how, maybe bring next week so not so much stuff to lug on the first day. Hope to ask colleague to teach me how to change the strings of the electric guitar. Need to get the replacement strings first. One thing I realized is that electric guitars are so much heavier than acoustic cos one is solid, the other is hollow. Wait a bit before bringing either to the workplace. Sometimes too busy teaching during cca to even take out my own to practice. Rather do it at home only to realize I left the acoustic guitar at workplace... 

Man, I miss the hols already. The freedom to sleep and wake at anytime, do stuff leisurely and in no hurry are sorely missed. It'll be a long, long while before I can do something like this.