After last Saturday, heartiest congrats to Krynnder who has rediscovered her 'newfound' freedom.

'Anata wa saru ja arimasen'

Upon recommendations, I went to I-resign.com to get ready a resignation letter, in case I need it anytime soon.
Then instead of going in straight to submit, I went to ask my Sup what is the intended tasks for me for the remaining time....

I think I chose a wrong timing cos she looked a bit irritated at me.... So basically, I helped data entry cos if i dun, then i am doing nothing, n would be asked to leave... N on a much later date, much later, then plans would be tested...mabye implemented.... Well I wondered what's wrong in asking what is my role? Cos I was left in the dark, and feeling very lost, so if my role is not much, I might as well move on right? Maybe I chose a wrong timing..or didnt ask politically correct enough. So there lies the dilemma: if I leave, i am forgetting abt all my efforts for the project, but if i dun, then i might miss out on job oppts and rest and sanity... not to mention that the new batch of graduates are coming out really soon...

Hmm my decision is to hang on a bit more, and still send out resumes, cos I dun think they care what happen to me after my 'contract' ends. Conversion is a carrot dangled but not a guarantee... Hence I still need to look out for myself. Yep it would be even better if I can get a much better perm offer and quit with face held high. If they dun appreciate, then i shall go to others who will value me. Though inside, i still very much hope to see the project to completion, and see the results.

It seems that I have been very responsible to others.... the fault is all mine, I have a responsibility to them etc but then I realized: Have I been responsible to myself? I very much am like self-torturing myself so as to fulfil my responsibility to them, but what about me? Have I been good to myself? The answer always tends towards the negative... I should try to be a bit more selfish, and put myself first for a change. Cos besides family, urself matters alot. U work for yourself, u are responsilble to urself, and so long as u can live with urself, then what others think matters little unless it is sound advise.... And what works for others dun always work for u.... U MATTER!