Drugery of Life.........

Its a sad title to an issue that has been stuck deep in my heart for some time. Though try as I might to live out each day as it is, something is stirring deep within. A feeling, an odd one which tells me something is wrong. That this is not way I had intended to live out the rest of my days. But yet I know not how else to live it.

Maybe an appropriate name would be 'Quarter-life crisis', a term coined to describe youths who are in their early twenties, who have just graduated and worked for a few years. It seems that I am a likely sufferer of this.

An education system which encouraged diversity and daring-to-dream churns out cogs of different shapes and sizes, sadly yet they are individually hammered into place, to keep the mega machines working seamlessly. Wherein lies our individuality? Are we to turn a blind eye to what each cog stands for, or forgo that to maintain the order? A superficial order built upon shattered dreams and broken cogs...

Paths that once diverged out endlessly like maendering steams now converge as time seeps by. Dreams that once fuelled ambition now are kept preciously deep within the heart. They are not forgotten sadly, though a better fate. Fated to be taken out and dusted whenever thy heart pains too much...

Reality and Dreams cannot co-exist, how many of us are really what we set out to be? It is an epic struggle that rages within. When dreams and ideals are shelved into the laden heart, what else does this existence entails? Nothing... but an empty shell of the individual who used to reside within.

When I looked into my heart for my dreams, I am greatly saddened... For all that I have high hopes are shattered, ideals and dreams. Hope seems bleak. Reality did not conform to my dreams and expectations. Sadder still, I know not how else to be. There are any paths it seems yet not one is for me. I trudged on hoping to make progress in life, yet I dare not dream of the future anymore. For now I know, that dreams comes with both a price and a time span. The price counted in hours and minutes, and a validity that fades with passing time.

Just as time passes by so easily, hence more dreams reached their validity and the price pulls higher.