My passion waning.....

Yes I had a bad day. Its considered among one of the few worst days ever since I started at this job. For one, I started out very sian after a long and tiring day yesterday. Tuesday my very very heavy day. Then today by right is supposed to be lightest day cos got meeting. With my already quite frustrated and sian predesposition, I taxi to work. I got through the meeting. But during the talk with my supervisor, I just feel like tearing. Partly due to frustration on my part, cos too much things and so many petty stuff in class, syllabus and 4 heavenly kings. Enough to really make me feel like throwing in the towel. Y, cos I feel like its my fault. Guess I am just feeling kinda sensitive today, partly being unwell, stomache not feeling so good.

Some questions: "Do you think they are giving you enough help?"
My genuine answer is (Of course not. I know that I am supposed to ask but bloody hell, everything I dunno, dun even know where to start to ask. Everyday something is put on my table, no instruction, no nothing, just do? Then how is it to be carried out? WTF is that thing? WTF am I to do? Yes I got ask and got tell me if I ask. If I dun ask, nothing is said. Alot of times I dunno whom to ask, what to do, where to go....) "Fine. I am fitting in nicely......."

Anyway after that, work started and headed for the 'short' day. Everything went well or okay until the final lesson. Got them to sit on the floor then the same few up to their tricks. Later raised my voice at both of them and one started his famous trantrums, threw the table n chair n threw stationary that hit someone. I had been forewarned about this but the impact is devestating on my already sian state. I got the rest to sit down and ignore that fella, got the rest back on track to finish half of what I intended but more engagingly than what I had intended initially. The irony of it all.

But it left me very emotionally drained and emotional. Sian, frustration at its very very high levels. Had to talk to the troublemakers and I also feel like crying. Then while talking with the vp, i was kinda of emotional, again almost tearing. Sign. This is not how or what I want to start out in a new place. So nvm about it. After work, just took a taxi home, stopped at Ginza and rented 20 comics at one shot, and am now eating my favourite PrawnBeeHoon and drinking GIN rootbeer to destress.

My morale kinda of low, fatique level high, sian level high, frustration level high, feel-like-going-insane level high. Passion level low.

Days left: 2years 10mths 17 days.
Let the count down begin.