Overworked....

Bubu... my eyelids are feeling damn heavy at this point. There are still things I want to do but even mapling for merely 40mins is so taxing.

For the past 2 weeks, have been clocking in about 10+hrs each day. Lunch is a no-affair or a brunch. But thats not doing wonders for my weight yet. Wat this does is saps my energy tat I cant do much by the time I finally reached home around 730pm.

Adminstrative and even more adminstrative work keeps coming. Then dun think these tasks help to make me a better educator. In fact, it eats my time n energy that I compromise on the teaching part. There are some days when I concuss in bed as early as 9pm only to sleep through and wake up to work. Today I am fighting tat same impluse to crawl into the warm, inviting bed. BUT not to have to wake up to more work though.

That CCA is really eating into my time, being the main reason why I cant go off earlier. Havent even finished for on-coming Jap test, plus I still got to stay late on my bdae.. not to mention jap test either on tat day or tat saturday. Signz, go for the sat one. Then next week is going to get even more intense as some competition the CCA starts. I have already seen the doctor twice liao over the persistent sore throat, that has finally subsided a bit after stronger antibotics, but not yet fully recovered. The daily shouting n raising voice is not helpful also.

Sometimes I think, If this was really the way to live my life? Who am I really living this life for?

For the students, who dont appreciate, cant be bothered?

For the work, which is getting crapier by the day? For the Bond, which is still kinda long way off?

For the glory, glory my ass, am not interested to rise cos of even more admin crap of epic proportions?

For myself?

But how am I working for myself? If I am deprived of the time to pursue wat I really want...

And putting off personal things due to work, skipping meals, looking real forward to weekend, wishing sometimes it would all just stop.

Signz... Nvm I think I need some sleep. Cant keep awake liao.... even forsaking maple in favor of sleep.

Who am I living for?

PS: Its my wish tat if I were to perish in any accident or watever thing, I would do so in 2 manners. First dun prolong and secondly, die in my sleep. Being so sleep-deprived or tired almost all the time, I want to finally rest in peace. Not saying I want to die but just wish to sleep....