Its another 'lonely' valentine

In just a few more hours, it will be 14th Feb, valentine's day. Not that I will be celebrating it, given my still 'S' status.

Its been tiring for me, given the travelling plus sleeping late and waking early. Like today I reached home around 8pm, after eating and bathing and resting, its already 9.30pm. I am so stoned that I wish very very much indeed to go bed. Yet the thought of just sleeping and waking up to work again, puts me off.

Yar tom's valentine, OR Friendship day, yet I dun have the energy to do my balloon flowers... also not sure if I want to meet up on thurs itself to do something, cos the next day I have course in the morning, and meeting parents plus have to stay until near 6pm dismissal. Dunno if I can stand another late night.

Life is kinda unkinda and unpleasant at the moment, and its only half a week after the nice long enjoyable CNY. It seems to be heading more south to the dumps as the CA are coming soon and the stress of completing the lessons, plus revision. *groans* Please lemme tio Toto big big prize. BTW the 10m ang bao draw is on 21st Feb, remb to try your luck.

Habits and perspective changing?
One revealing thing is happening to me though. Previously I would wear my watch 24/7, cos I want to know the time esp when I wake up in the middle of the night, I want to know how much longer I can sleep. Also I wear those bracelets for protection, and also as a reminder that I still have a bond to serve. (currently standing at 1yr 4mths) In fact I wear both my watch and bracelets as accessories and have no problems with them.

Yet for reasons yet unfanthomable, nowadays after I bath and settle down at home, I would feel very uncomfortable wearing them. I would take them off and put them aside, only to wear them, just before I go off to work. Nowadays when I wake up at night, I dun want to know the time. When I am online, I dun want to see the time. Its like that Toto 4D tipper thingy which somehow worked last year but is not working at all this year. In fact I have 'no feel' despite still buying. I dun even like thurs anymore (Toto day) The only thing that can seem to perk me up is friday after work hours.

I seriously need to get in touch with my inner self and establish some sort of distraction that can help me brave through this remaining time. At this point of time, I am not keen about that connect plan thingy. My outlook is still til the end of the bond b4 I decided if I want to continue to stay on for another 2 years just to get that payout (that carrot is losing its appeal)

Its been 3weeks since I last went online to Maple. Dunno if I am kicked out of the guild. Hopefully soon the cold weather will change to spring (freezing my butt at my area, the morning and night winds are very cold) and the sakura will bloom. Another cycle of the year...