Resolutions 2010

Another year passes by, slowly and tortourously at times at first, then speeding past near the end. Guess that's how the years will continue to zoom past.

Looking back, this year, at least the first 2/3 was terrible. I really dread going to work, my cough was really bad and draining. I finally reached the point where I was ready to resign. Which I did. Looking back, though now its not that easy to get such a high paying job and I am hitting some walls, I still dont regret as much, except for the pay, cos how much is one's health and sanity worth?

On the other side, despite having crap time at work due to management, I did have a good class whom I really enjoyed teaching even though it was my first time doing such young kids. It did change some of my perception about teaching younger pupils but I still strike a limit at age 7 for now. I did get to know good collegues in my level whom really cared about my well-being and are very decent people. Guess my people skills are not that bad, IF people can get past the initial first impression bais against my face.

The first half of the remaining 1/3 of the year, the initial part of my unemployment was really crap. That is an understatement cos of family problems and being the 'temporary caretaker' of the home, which also gave me lots of stress and worries. It reached a point that both me and my brother decided that we really dont have it inside to care anymore. Our advices, worries didnt result in any change on the parties. They still wanna continue their actions. Hence we entirely wash our hands out of the matter. I dont want to think about the 'what ifs' anymore. I still had myself to worry about.

The last half of the remaining 1/3 of the year was where the FUN really started. Though it was late, but better than never. I concentrated my time and energy on my routine of Driving, Guitar, Japanese, Swimming/Exercising and they did occupy me. I didnt have to worry about much for then or I was kept rather occupied to think too much (which is something I do have a tendency to do) Then went for first Halloween dress up, first paintball. Though the change of guitar instructors is frustrating, but I am still sticking to guitar for now. I went to Melaka for a 2nd time, the first being really years ago.

But like all things, the good must come to an end. So far I had spent about $8.5k in total for all expenses over 5 months. The driving, guitar, jap and misc once-off took quite chunk. Though I still have some reserve, being Long Term unemployed wasnt part of my plan. So I started my job search after the JLPT3 exams and Melaka. So far, not much luck.

The offers I am getting are low in terms of pay and also the hours are not good. The recent 2.5k offer meant I have to work Wed to Sun and even on public holidays if they fall on those days, no days off or added leave cos of that. I wasnt sure about it cos it clashed with my japanese class on wed and guitar class on sat. Of course, if I get a good enough offer, I will reschedule the guitar if needed and maybe forfeit the jap. But I wasnt that keen on the no leave on public holiday thingy. So I continue my search. So far only sent out 2 more, 1 was beyond deadline but might be considered for next round. I have to continue to be dilligent and KEEP sending and to the RIGHT parties and do a good job of interviewing I guess.

Hence this is the part that dulled the high of Oct/Nov/Dec a bit. But I really hope to be more settled. This might just be the job I do until I retire, I wish to settle into something I can do and somewhat like and decent pay and hours. Is that too much to ask for? Hmm...

Anyway time for new year resolutions.

My resolutions are

1) Secure a career- I find gradually as I keep asking myself what I wanna do, I am slowly getting a clearer idea of my expectations in terms of pay etc but still hazy in terms of the exact position.

2) Continue to try new things - To live life to the fullest, need to revisit that list and add to it.

3) Be more optimistic and cheerful - This might be more challenging than expected. I have over the years, slowly changed my character to be more out-going, out-spoken. Of course, I am not perfect, still have alot of work to do. I have to learn to smile more (even if its a mask) but I still rather smile when it is genuine and real.

4) Exercise 2-3 times a week - I have kept up the routine somewhat continously for 10 weeks. I did manage to lose the extra weight gained from Melaka but the Christmas party... meant I was again heavier than my initial fat self. Signz... a lot of work to do. Keep it up. I do feel fitter, stronger and even more energetic at times, not always. Gambatte.

Hope for things to look up and I can move on to the next part of my life.