This past week, I have reached the peak of irriatation with this particular collegue at my workplace. Code name Headless. It has accumulated to a point where I dread going into the class with Headless when the rotation comes about. Alot of things that Headless does and asks me irritates me to no end and sees my anger and irritation flaring up.
The reasons are quite a few: It felt better to talk it through with a friend whom can help me put things into perspective.
1) I am put in constant stress by being told things at the extreme, extreme last minute. How last minute? Its when I am already inside the class, with no idea of what I am supposed to do. Then come up to me and tell me to "do this", at times without even answers provided. So I have to do it plus think of answers on the spot immediately. WTF? Others let me know the lesson flow and even which part I will be doing, at least on my way up with them to the class.
2) I have no idea of the flow of the lesson before hand. So going in, I dont know what my role is, no idea of what is going to be done. How do I help students? Increasingly the entire lesson is conducted in pure Jap. It doenst help 2 folds. Firstly though I can understand some, quite a bit I cant too. Doesnt help that I cant understand much to help them. Secondly, students 'regress' backwards to using Jap instead of Eng, though they are studying Eng and supposedly to use it. I really ask myself why am I even inside?
3) She cant communicate. Either tell me one line using the most grammatically strange and extremely vague sentence, thinking that she is using Perfect english (which irriates me as I have to second, third or fourth guess and have to clarify insessiently) OR telling me a one liner and expects me to know how to do it. Eg "Can you do this part?" Hello, different cultural background and there are many ways of "doing", how much more vague can things be? Couple with the extremest last minute, I am constantly put under tension. Basically 'cleaning backside'.
4) Headless asks me the stupidest and most moronic questions at all sort of stupid timing. Usually my irriation meter flares up. Utterly no brain. Dont ask me stupid questions! Period. Tab thinks that Headless is a very lazy person who wants the easy way out of things. True, I think, looking back.
5) In my rotation with her, I have way better classroom control. She does nought while the class is testing the limits and not settling down. No authority at all despite towering over them both in built and height. When I stand beside, I am dwarfed by her size and height, yet I HAVE to be the one to help settle the class, while she does nothing there. WTF? Absolutely no authority and even her style of teaching puts me to sleep. So I pity certain students when they doze off and when I am walking around, I try to pat them awake gently and tell them to focus gently. I was falling alseep myself despite standing on my two feet and walking around.
6) I genuinely question her ability to be the head. She doenst seem to know what is going on around. Supposed to be the one in charge of unifying the entire English curriculum. Does she bother to find things out? I dont think so much, at least from what I've seen in how she does things in many instances. Cannot make it. Argh, I better go to the temples soon to pray and give thanks and ask for greater blessing and protection next year.
Yep that's my work rant all at a go.
The strategy to deal with her after discussing with Tab was to use my most Perfect UK ascent to tell her I have absolutely no idea what she's saying. Yep I need to brush it up and listen to BBC channel and practice infront of the mirror. Put the responsibility back to her.
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A secondary post is about gossiping. Guess I am not a good one. Plus certain aspects of it does also irritates me. I can listen and I do listen. But I look for an overall picture. Is it big or small incident? how severe?
But maybe its the way I 'judge' people. I wont let first impression stick. I constantly add and deduct marks based on the actions. Cos actions speak louder than words. Even 1 incident with lots of negatives is not really mean the person is beyond redemption in my eyes. It depends on a whole series of incidents, over quite a bit of time. Just like the Headless above, there were so many numerous incidents; large or small and things done that I formed my impression based on them, and it relates to her work. Not to the person. I dont dislike the person that much. But its the whole style of working. If she can redeem herself through more positive actions, my prespective can change for the better.
Well for others in a relationship, I think I am not qualified to make judgements from the sideline. Really, its between both of them. Irregardless of whatever incidents, its up to the two parties involved to resolve. Unless one comes to you for help. In my case, I told Tab and she gave me advise. Vice-versa.
I dont see the entertainment value of just gossiping. This is partially due to my upbringing. My dad doesnt like gossip. My mom doesnt do as much with me. Things like hearing a rumor about relatives otherwise there's no update is fine. Things like whatever incidents, leave one to make own judgement is fine.
Things like a bit of bad-mouthing, verbal bitching of a person is a bit not my thing. True everyone is entitled to their own judgement and impression of things. I guess when one keep 'bashing' on that one person through the use of 'gossip' is not what I like to do. Cos I might see the incident that was 'so severe' and 'telling', in another light where it might appear 'trival' then have a different perspective of it. That's the part of differences in opinions. Sometimes just lay out the facts and let others make their own impressions.
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