Hmm I've noticed that I am really eating alot nowadays.

Partly is hunger cos I often only eat brunch and its something that is like GuoTiao soup, which by evening would leave with a huge appetite. So I havent dared to step on the weighing scales yet.

Think I have to kick my butt into starting swimming. Will try. Dont think me staying at home to keep an eye on things is going to keep me healthy plus it also doesnt help at times. Will endeavour to start once to twice a week first but always the break from menses is something that prevents it from becoming a routine. Will try.

Cedele's Carrot Walnut cake is a must-have nowadays every time I end up eating there. Its light and they are generous with the walnuts. Oiishidesune! K havent done much yet except buy snacks, bought clothes, bought cd storage. Been buying buying, spending, spending... Think I should occupy my time with cheaper alternatives like reading, going to the library, swimming...

Rant 2

It started a few small things that got carried over and culmulated in an irritated me. I drank coffee late last nite, so ended up sleeping very very late, as in 4am style. I was online and stuff. Mom kept waking up going to toilet numerous times. There is only 1 light on in the living room and she had closed her door. Yet she woke up many times, keep going to the toilet.

When I finally decided to go to sleep, I still couldnt. After a long while, I heard her getting up for good from the noises in the kitchen and her coughing. She has been coughing and sniffing for 2-3 days, yet refused to go and see the doctor. Whatever, I had asked a few times, she doesnt want to go. Fine.

Woke up rather early near 9am, given that I had slept fewer hours, I was a bit groggy but after munching some stuff was actually better. Then she came up to me, saying that she wanted to buy this foldable bike she saw, that it would help her exercise. I just asked her where to store it. Her reply was storeroom. I just kept quiet.

Inbetween, my dad suddenly asked when is the school holidays. Cos I had asked Tab so I know, and told him that next week is a 1-week holiday. Then he asked about end of the year. My reply was go and look at the calendar. He asked again in the region of 'you should know and memorise cos u were an Edcator' tone, to which I answered him its marked in the calendar and I dont know which is the exact day it start. He came back with a 'If you know and tell me, then I dont have to look at the calendar' remark. I just got irritated and continue looking at laptop. Bloody hell, its not that I always want to get into verbal tiffs but ask me stupid question with stupid expectations, expect impatient and irritated reply.

But there was no brunch for me and my dad. Nearing noon, I decided to go next door to pay bills and pack lunch. She wanted to go along to buy her foldable bike. I was walking behind her all the way cos she walked rather fast on ahead. Whatever. I had certain thoughts about this style... but lemme refrain a bit from over criticising. Its been always like this for many years. My dad also walks faster and infront too.

Reached there, she was on the 2nd floor, then looked to the right at some shops and asked whether that shop in the distance was Popular, which I replied NO, its on t 1st floor. Ask me stupid question, expect impatient and irritated reply. Feeling flares of irritation but yet keeping my mouth shut but mumbling in my breath, I followed her to Popular. She came out without buying stuff, I did.

Then reached Cold Storage. She went to look for the bike and told me to go look for the stuff I wanted first. I did, grabbing 2 bags of Nachos, 1 guntamalo flavour dip, 1 Pringles. When I came back, she had called the salesperson to help demonstrate how to fold the bike. So far nothing much irritating but it took a while. Then she demo the thing riding in the store with the manager's permission. I felt silly standing there and watching. Kept mumbling under my breathe about parents turning back into kids and behaving like one, giving her money yet anyhow buy things frivilously then later worry about own finances, not sleeping again then acting up again, sure is white elephant later...

Then I asked her storeroom got space, she replied, will find a space. More grumbling under my breathe. Whatever do what you like, so long as you can live with the consequences, I will NOT care. That is one of my own personal philosophy that I stick to. Fine. She told me to go on ahead, so I lugged my stuff, my chips and a milk powder which all together turned out pretty heavy but its mostly my own stuff. But felt my irritation rising cos of hunger. I walked briskly to next door to buy a drink and packed rice. Which altogether made my load heavier... Walked back then she appeared at the traffic light. I just mumbled whatever and we went home.

I was so hungry that I put away the stuff bought into proper places, took my stuff, put on my table and room, then started gobbling the rice. Its almost 1.30pm by then. Dad kept telling me to take money used from the basket, Mom was busy trying to fold the bike and also telling me to take the money from the basket for the milk powder bought. I just ignored by not answering and continued to eat and drink.

Later on, my Dad asked me about the bike. Its obvious he saw it when my mom came back and wheeled it to the kitchen. I anwered him that its Mom's. He started on long lecture about not-riding-on-the-roads-cos-it-was-dangerous lecture, starting with the same words he always use for the topic. I stopped him when he got past the first line about not riding on the roads. I told him "I dont want to listen, you tell me also no point." What's the point of telling me? What do you expect me to go tell Mom? You can go do that yourself. Plus she's an adult, she is old enough to think, plus not everyone is an idiot you know, need u to remind about bicycle safety.

I went straight to the room, took out the bedsheets that I wanted to wash today, put in washing machine, then went back to lie down. I can feel the cumulated effects of the late night, the toll of having to put up with so much irritating things. I just closed my eyes and really fell asleep not caring anymore....

Woke up feeling much better. Took out new sheets to change. Noticed that my stuff are in the dryer. So I just did up my bed. It looks really Autumny now. Its another set which I bought but didnt get the matching quilt cover. Actually took a pic.



Looking at it, makes one feel sleepy. Alright this weekend, I aim to tidy up the room a bit more. Didnt do too much. Not so irriated now. Have guitar later.

Macha Latte & Macha Smoothie

Green Tea Latte


This is my experimental try at Green Tea Latte. Its one of my favourite drinks so since I am quite free, with a big pack of macha powder, had wanted to make this. Got the recipe from the internet. Interestingly I searched under 'Macha latte' and all sorts of recipes with macha came out except that. Then I remembered the England name. I used milk, macha, sugar and water. Heat in saucepot and served.

Verdict, the 'milky' taste of milk seems to become stronger after its heated. The recipe mentioned Soy milk, so I would try the smoothie with that.

A side note. Geoky tried it and shortly after was farting like crazy. Then she ran to the toilet. That is her cup in the picture, the smallest one too. I drank a big cup, Yingel a medium cup and both of us were fine. When Yingel heard that Geoky ran to the toilet for drinking, she remarked "So good..." Well her bowel is not regular yet she didnt tio anything. Strange indeed.

Macha Smoothie


Today I tried out Macha Smoothie. Geoky was at home cos of leave so the atmosphere is better. She went out with Dad and I asked her to help me get vanilla ice cream and Soy milk. Then cos of whole full day of looking at share prices and gaming, I fell asleep around 6pm. Much later, Yingel sms asking what we wanted to dabao back cos she's on the way home. I asked for a small packet of ice and iced coffee.

When she came back, I started making. Hmm.. vanilla ice cream, ice, soy milk. *blend blend*

"Hey sister, you look like making soy smoothie?" Geoky asked while looking at what I was doing.

"Huh? Oh I forgot the green tea powder..." *adds powder and blend*

"Eh... sugar leh?" Geoky reminded..

"Oh, I forgot to add sugar..." *adds sugar and blend* Then I stirred the mixture and took a small sip.

"Eh... your ice pieces like very big leh. Listen to the sound can tell."

"Yar, need to blend more." *blend blend* Then poured out the mixture into 2 cups. Excluding Geoky cos she's not feeling good. Dont want her to end up with mc due to stomache.

"Eh... the colour dont look good leh.." She remarked after I was stirring my Smoothie and taking sips with a spoon.

"Yeah I know, hmm cannot taste the Green tea much, must add more next time. But the soy milk taste is not as overpowering at the milk taste."

Well you see the whole reason why I was so distracted and forgetful was cos Geoky was talking about a whole series of N-21 stuff while I was making the smoothie. I was answering back her about some and kept forgetting to put in ingredients.

Later Yingel came out from her bath and I asked her to try. She gave me a highly suspicious look <_<" and I said "nevermind" and poured her portion into my cup. She offered to try a little bit. When she drank it, her facial expression actually changed from <_<" to ^_^ She said "its not bad."

\o/ Yay! Though I think, need to work on the appearance part of it. Maybe add a scoop of ice cream on top? More green tea? Nicer cup?

Limits & Apathy

This will be a RANTING post, pls ignore.

I find since early this week, I am reaching my limits. I am reaching the point where apathy is setting in. Its my family for god's sake but I am reaching the point where I feel like staying away from home.

First up, I am sick of being the go-between. I hate to have to be the one to ask my Mom whether she want to go to the hospital. Then today asked her whether she wants to go to the clinic cos she was sniffing away, coughing a bit only to be brushed off. HEY! If you dont want to, then be it, Fuck it!

Second off, I am sick of being taken for granted! Numerous examples. My mom and her numerous bags > 6 for just herself. Seeing that she has aged and is older, I carried most of the heavy stuff on top of my own. Lugged it up the train, down the train, pass immigration checkpoint. I remembered being irriated by having to carry so many heavy things ontop of my own 2 bags which were actually lighter. Next, today dad was going to drive to give our stuff to salvation army. She came up with 6 bags, some heavy. Then decided that she alone would go and load them in the car using the shopping trolley. I offered to help, she said no need. Then I reminded her can use the trolley and then I proceeded to load up the trolley with all the heavy stuff and brought it down (with lift), load into car. There are other incidents, carry out the heavy laundry cos the way she is putting the laundry is WRONG. You are supposed to put the light stuff infront and heavy ones behind. She has the tendency to do otherwise though I have corrected since I was in secondary. Others too... I find my patience wearing thin each time.

Third, I am sick of hearing the same stuff from my Dad! Fucking can memorise the lines cos he uses the exact same words each time. And everything also has an opinion about. And worst of all, its always the same opinion being repeated. Nowadays I find, whenever he gives me a ride to run errands, for my classes, to the train station, I find myself staring at the clear blue skies out of the car window, wishing I was anywhere but in the car.

I am frowning so much more, sighing long sighs frequently, looking at the blue skies too all the time. Apathy is creeping in, despite the blood ties. Its kinda sad.

I think I need time away during the day. Maybe 1-2 early afternoon, I should just come out and monitor stocks in some cafe with wireless sg instead. Man, I wanna go Bangkok, the school holiday's almost here? Or JB, get a massage and stuff *long sigh*

Taliban HB 3 vs Cockroaches 0

The real down-side (to me) about staying up late at night is the threat of cockroaches coming out to play. (Ason de wa i kei nai yo! *practice jap*) I was about to settle some last bits of stuff in the online game. In fact I had logged out of facebook too. Then at my pheriperal vision on the right, I saw something dark move. I suspected but wished it wasnt true. Then another TALIBAN crisis situation again...

Then I turned to the left cos heard some sounds, saw the enemy climbing up my mom's stuff which is less than 1m from me! OMG, I tried to back off quickly, then it flew STRAIGHT AT ME!

WTF! WHY DO THEY ALWAYS FLY STRAIGHT AT ME???????

I had to use my naked hand to swoop at it in hopes ,it flies elsewhere. It landed on my table just 10cm from me! Hid in a dark corner of it.

I WAS SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF.

Went straight to the storeroom, took out the insecticide and sprayed it. Then I ducked and ran for cover. It flew over the living room, landed under the sofa. I sat at my sister's chair to find it to spray it somemore. You can hear sounds coming from under the sofa. Soon it quietened down. My dad who was awokened by my commotion, woke up only to offer to open the door to 'let it fly out naturally' *OMG dont let anymore stray ones in for God's sake!* Then he quickly fell back to sleep in less than 5mins time. MEN...

So I waited for a short while before I saw the slightly groggy cockroach trying to duck under my bag!. That's my 'sniper' chance. I went straight and sprayed it. It flipped on its back straight. But it was still moving, so I sprayed it again. Think its dead by the time this post is written.

I waited until its almost unmoving then move over to 'close' the internet and stuff.

Guess what, after all these, how can one sleep? The adrenelin plus now any small insects are making me jump up. Kinda of jumpy now even with small moths flying around...

My sister did mention that there are like 2 cockroaches in the house, from being let in either through the garbage, fly in through open windows and doors.

So far the body count is 3.

What the fuck is wrong with cockroaches?

WHY ME?

Signz tomorrow have to wash my black bag and some stuff on my table... Damn them all

Impatience

Why is it that when I am unemployed, I still feel this impatience that arises from having numerous things to do on my to-do-list? The type of impatience as though you are wasting time if you dont complete the list or at least make progress.

My to-do-list is growing.

-Reading of share book, Study for JLPT, Practice guitar, Do more experimental cooking, go Swimming, go Learn driving, go Tidy up Room then Table then Closet, play Online game and PSP and PS1/2... the list is growing. I find that I dont have the time to progress in all.

Plus all the gaming the past few nights, meant I neglected my Jap and Guitar... Signz.

Alright, right after this, I am making that Hot Macha Latte and taking pics. Then tom, will try out Macha smoothie. That's a start.

2nd Week of Unemployment

Hmm I spent Sat til Tue morning in my Mom's hometown, keeping an eye on her and stuff.

Tue late afternoon I came back, then headed for JLPT class.

Wed headed for Jap class in the evening.

Thur stayed at home, helped to cook Stew Pork, Fried Bee Hoon, wash up, chop ingredients, sweep floor, take out the clothes. Inbetween online for hours looking at Stock and Evony. Feel tired at the end of the day. Think I need to take a nap inbetween. Think my night-owling ways too.

Fri, today is almost the same as Thurs except I took out the clothes only so far. Feeling groggy. Dunno if its the lack of coffee or just lack of sleep. Been waking up near 9am daily sleeping near or past 1am daily.
_____________________________________________

I shouldnt have to complain but its easy to be taken for granted at times. Expected to help out since I am currently unemployed and stuff. Its true. But there are times when things can wait but cos of the delicate situation, I have to drag myself to get it done.

Am I resting properly? So far half of it is my own night-owling ways, other is that there are things that get me more or less tired too. That's what been on my mind, at times when I am doing the tasks and helping out.

Think what I need now is sleep. Am going to sleep first. Then when wake up more energized, I will start the Herculan task of tidying up the room. This time to sort through all the work-stuff brought back. To sort through them, then put them together and find a space to store them in the room so that it doesnt resemble a warehouse. Now its really bad. BUT hadnt had the time nor the spare energy to do that for 2 weeks.

1 full week of unemployment

Its been 1 full week of unemployment.

In this 1 week, I have

- gone for guitar lesson 2 times,
- practiced guitar almost nightly
- gone for 2 days of Jap lessons and done 1 set of hw
- watered the plants 3 times
- swept the floor 3 times
- cooked a pasta, brinjal, jungong, sweet potatoe, potatoe and onion, fried cabbage, chye sim
- failed in a dish, asparagus
- washed and hung out at least 5 loads of clothes
- tidied a part of my table to free up some space in the living room
- monitored the stock market for 4 days
- made 3 transactions
- gone to IMM once, KMT twice, Avenue 2 thrice.
- washed numerous dishes
- played Evony daily, played face book games

Are these all there is? Apparently yes. Are these part of my plans for bumming. Most of it no but bo bian, no one else to help out cos of work and mom's current condition. I havent done swimming and signing up for driving lessons yet. Think I have to manage a bit and get used to some of the stuff first. No point forcing things then kena burn out at both ends.

Tomorrow going back to check on Mom. I will be bringing my stock book, Jap work to do. On top of that, Aoi (PSP) and I-Touch (Uru) and Midori (mp3) to help keep my spirits up.

Is there more than this to life?

Today when I went over next door around 5pm to run some errands and also dabao some meat for dinner, I looked at the sky. I remember thinking to myself (not so long back)

"Signz, what a beautiful sky. Is this how life is supposed to go? Heading out to work, then sleeping and its the next day already?"

Now staying back at home, doing chores, playing games and trading stock at the same time. I am thinking the same thing when I look up at the sky.

Is there really more to life than this? Even when free or not free, still have the same thoughts. Though I do have a conclusion, you have to make your own meaning for it instead of letting others decide for you. Yes but at times, this question will surface and I find myself thinking about it as I look at the blue sky.
_______________________________________________

Tue and Wed were spent learning Jap and doing JPLT mcq homework, though I havent finished yet. I read rather slowly and comprehension not that good. I did practice guitar a bit at times when I find myself brooding. The music takes my mind away from the current problems at home and lets me recharge in a way. I find myself feeling 'naked' without my mp3 player playing music to drown out boredom and thoughts.

Anyway my experimental asparagus is a failure. Seems have to remove a thin layer of 'skin' first before cooking. I didnt know that so after I boiled it, couldnt bite through one. Threw the whole pack away.

Instead today I cooked Potatoe with Onions and Fried Cabbage for dinner. Then with 2 dabaoed meat dish. Enough for dinner. Also cooked up the remaining Jagong and Sweet potato. The whole point is to use up materials that are sitting in the kitchen, cos if not, vegetables will spoil. Tom I will have to dig out the meat and defreeze them to cook.

Been doing a lot of machine washing these few days. The amount of clothes is really a lot. A mountain. Managed to reduce until left 1 load more with the help of sunny weather and dryer.

More drama... *tiredz*

Mom suddenly decided she would go back on her own when I reached home after meeting up with Quetzal in the late afternoon/evening. She had even bought a ticket for herself.

That suddenly put a wrench into plans. After thinking through, I wont follow her back though I did talk on length with my bro regarding the situation and what we could do to help out, alleviate the situation.

Then this morning I woke up early at 5.40am to help keep an eye on her, check on her and carry her stuff to the car. My dad drove us down. After making sure that she boarded, we headed back where I was so tired after putting out the clothes, I slept like a log. When I woke up, one sister has gone out. Helped other to cook lunch and clean up. Feeling tired again.

Ate alot of apples though, still have Jagong (corn) which I boiled successfully. Tonight will be cooking the Asparagus, chye sim and one other.

Think I will go rest a bit before I go out to run some errands next door. In-between I am playing that online game, stoning and trying to do some more Kanji mcq. Did practice guitar a bit to cheer myself up before I slept.

Going overboard now peng san

Think I went overboard yesterday. Plus slept late cos I practiced a bit of guitar after reaching home. Today I couldnt wake up earlier. Woke up around 10am. Went to the bank to enquire about that transaction but they couldnt give me more details except that I used an atm in clementi. Err I still dont remember spending that amount. So no hopes of that amount abt $900. I seriously dont remember buying anything in that region last month. Signz. Bo bian.

Now I will keep all my atm withdrawals, avoid using atm too much, draw out needed cash max 2-3 times a month. Then monitor bank account to see if any more of such transactions appear. Will update bank book regularly and check for irregularities.
_______________________________________

Didnt start cooking yet. I am feeling tired. Things seem more 'settled' for the moment. Hopefully its a sign things are picking up. Now just have to spend more time with family and help out as much as I can.

In my hurry, I had forgotten to buy 4D, so later have to go out again.

Nothing much on my agenda except to kick myself to start studying for my shares, my JLPT firstly, besides guitar.

Multi-tasking, doing many things

Yesterday night, after my dad drove me home with my stuff, I helped him to fry the fish fingers he bought.

Today is a rather busy day. I woke up around 9.30am, a bit overslept and headed to the bank to transfer money around the bank accounts. Basically I want to top up my main account to $30k and any living expenses and general expenses, I would use this account. The other remainder amount of money left is my share reserve capital. I also drew out my insurance premiums to put into the bank account specially for insurance payment. So all the above is done.

Then after I came home, and was updating my excel files, I noticed a transaction which I dont remember. Think I have to go the bank to enquire on Monday. Seriously I dont remember paying that amount via ATM. Better go and find out.

Then after my banking, I came home, talked to Mom to cheer her up, talked to Dad a bit also so he wont be lonely. Online to look at stock prices and playing that city-building game. Halfway through got bored, started doing a bit of the JLPT homework. Did 2 pages of Kanji mcq while infront of the laptop.

Mom today is not doing much household chores, I helped to cover. So I headed over to the supermarket to buy some missing ingredients for dinner which I would be cooking, buy toilet paper. Came back, I put some of the veg for tom's cooking. Then around 4pm, I started preparing dinner.

The agenda, a pasta, sausage and a brinjal experimental dish which I tried the last time.

Pasta was simple in the sense, its boiling it. BUT there are some extra stuff to do to make it nice. First have to boil for abt 20-30mins til its rather soft, yet not soggy. Second, once its soft enough (take one to try), pour away excess water and add cold water to cool it and then drain out. Lastly add a bit of oil to the pasta so that they wont stick together.

Sauce is simple enough in the sense that it comes in ready-made bottle. Its the nutritional aspect that needs more work. So I cubed carrots, cut up garlic, added corn starch to mince meat, cut up 2 large onions, cubed 5 boiled sausages. Then fry the garlic then onions, then minced meat until cooked throughly, poured in boiled carrot with the boiled water too (cos of vitamins in the boiling water) and then finally poured in bottle of sauce with half bottle of water. Stir throughly over small fire. Let some of the water evaporate over low fire until you are happy with the thickness of the sauce. Then its ready.

Experimental brinjal is just slicing up brinjal. Then fry with garlic and brinjal first until changes colour. Then add self-created sauce with light soya, dark soya, sugar and some corn flour to thicken. Let it simmer for 15mins. Added a bit of mince meat this time, hope it will be tastier.

Mom just showed me how to do fried long bean with eggs. Looks deceptively simple but it really taste good, if you know how to fry until the egg is slightly browned.

Okay that's my foray into cooking for today.

Tomorrow is boiling Jagong (corn) and my experimental Oyster sauce asparagus. Think Geoky is taking over the kitchen tomorrow. Dunno if I can get to taste her experimental Claypot rice :)

All these to help let mom have a breathing space so she can be less stressed since she is rather stressed out. Better do more household chores to help out.

Think I need a bath now before I eat dinner and go for guitar class. Will be bringing my guitar out since I go from home.

Officially an Unemployment statistic, aka BUM

After talking about it for years.

Finally I am a BUM officially, an unemployement statistic.

The difference compared to when I first started wishing to be a bum, at least 5.5 years back, is that I am financially much much better off then. After working for that long a time, I have saved enough dilligently to be able to afford this 'self-imposed' break

The investment forray really helped alot, as it gave me the confidence in my own ability to generate a passive income, though it is not as stable as a job income. The earnings, also gave me an up, and bumped up my saving level by a notch. Which in a way made my decision to leave easier.

After working hectically to hand-over stuff, clear as much marking as I could and also return stuff. Finally its over. My dad picked me up and I dragged my orignally 2 boxes of stuff that expanded to another 4 bags of gifts... Got presents from pupils, collegues, even mgt??? Didnt know I was that 'popular'.

The thing is that I really focus on doing work when I reach the workplace. Though I do socialize a bit, work was the focus. Giving my best in my lessons was the focus. I am not interested in climbing up though I wont say I dont have the capability. I can deliver on my deadlines, projects and work assigned timely. I try to be as efficient so that I wont have to bring things back to do unless absolutely necessary. Though at times, I had to go in a bit earlier to finish up. This meant my 'free time' is used mainly to clear marking and other deadlines. I try to multi-task whenever I can. My face is usually tired and grumpy-looking reflecting how I feel after working intensely. Adding in the last minute admin duties that suddenly eat into alot of hours, I look unhappier. Though I do help others out, especially when I can, some are very simple computer excel, word stuff, others include helping out with duties or whatever level thingy. So within my means, I just do it, just cos I have the know-how to do it. To me, I dont go all out, I just help out when I can.

Though after work is another face. A face that looks forward to my lessons and afterwork hours. With this type of face, I am rather surprised with the "popularity". Think another is that cos I am different. I dont fit into the typical stereo-type of Educator. I dont look like one, dont dress like one. I am a rebel in some cases. I wanna do other stuff outside of work. I dont behave like one typically unless during actual lessons. The music I like is way too young for fellow collegues. My interests are very 'new' compared to them. I think differently. My perspective, though more pessimistic and realistc, does not follow the group-think that is typical of Educators. Top tell you to jump, and you ask "how high" typically. Also I look young and dress young *some think I am still Untrained, NIE, BT even... * Dunno to feel happy or irriated by such questions and comment.

These are just my thoughts so far. I am glad that in my relatively short time, I have made some friends amongst collegues, have been recognized by others as capable and doing a good job, liked by pupils. If there is regret, its leaving my pupils and friends behind. But my stamina cannot last that long anyway. So my apologies to them.

BUT irregardless, that part of my life is over. I look forward to making another path, another part will begin soon. For now, in the intermedaries, there are things I have to help to settle especially at the Family side where there are issues blowing up. I wouldnt want to point fault but now that just nice, I am available. I WILL help out as much as I can.

I will try to live a healthier way of life that encompasses good sleeping habits, good diet, exercise routine and also a time-table of sorts to keep courses and things all in place yet still have time for family and myself.

Zombified

I went for jap JLPT preparatory class last nite with Tab. Then met Quetzal and her friend for dinner. Was kinda zonked out by the time I reached home.

Had to download stuff needed for work and converted into various media files. That took up to 1am. Then Mom is acting up. Her previous depression seems to be acting up and she was behaving in a very queer manner.

I was worried, though I didnt say anything. I told her to sleep early but instead she sat in the kitchen past the wee hours of the morning. When I went to bed around 1.30am plus, she was still up.

I couldnt sleep well thinking about her and what she was doing in the kitchen. Then I fell asleep, feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing. ONLY to wake up very early near 6am. I heard my mom and sister voices. Then I came out of the room and brushed my teeth and marked another stack of composition just to keep an eye on things. I dont have a snooze button.

Then the whole episode began. Later my sister left home and secretly called me. Told me to follow mom to doctor cos worried about her. So which I did. Inbetween that had that project that I was still handling episode.

By the time, I was done with her at the doctor, I got my dad to drive me to work instead cos I was carrying heavy stuff. Another whole lump of issues to settle.

Then had to miss my first Jap class for the new level cos needed to sort through stuff. I wasnt idle though, I kept busy. Dabao dinner, ate, then finished up some of the things while still waiting for the head to show up. Inbetween helped another do some other non-related work, cleared a bit of my art work. Left with a few piles of things that I wish I had the time to clear but couldnt. I am not a machine.

Left work at 10pm that is seriously obscene, yet its normal to some of them. Man, I am so glad to be leaving and getting a break after such a LONG LONG day. Its now 12am, I have been awake for 18hrs. Its a bloody hectic day. I am beat.

Its a blessing that I would be free in these difficult times with problems cropping up at home that I would be around to help out. Be it a listening ear, follow around, blah blah blah. Think this is the reason why for no reason, I had to wake up so early today.

Be A Bum First

Went to the Sand's dealer recruitment but didnt sign up cos firstly didnt prepare resume and stuff.

Secondly, I am NOT prepared to dive straight into another job so fast, when I havent even come out from the first one yet.

Think irregardless, still need a break to rest it out.

There are some other prospects eg being a private tutor or tutor at an established tuition centre to mention a few. But I am not ready to take up the commitment yet. Plus certain of them entails working into the hours of the courses I am going to start. I do not want to cramp myself or force myself into another job so fast, so soon. Though everyone is asking me what's my plan. Well I plan to rest first lor. See how the rest leads up.

A rest is in order.

In the end, I spent the whole of today online, playing Evony online, then sleeping on my sister's bed. Woke up feeling tired still, but bored. Went next door and bought an ice cream cone to eat. Got sudden craving for it. Other craving is for ice coffee. That I havent done yet. Maybe I should settle for cold beer. Still drinking the beer I've bought from HK trip. Finishing the beers soon. Left a can of Guiness draught.

Temple going

Now waiting for Quetzal to pick me up. She wants to go temple to pray, I am rather free, except I have 4 stacks of compo to mark, which I will lug along and mark as much as I can over this last weekend.

Want to clear the marking. IF I can clear this 4, then just have 2 main ones and other miscellaneous to clear off before I leave for good. Its just to ensure that the work and handover is smooth.

My cough is acting up a bit though I am sweating profusely. Just went over next door to buy weekly 4D and Toto. I have drastically reduced the amt spent by 2/3. Then its a bloody hot and sunny day, so I am wearing a tank instead. Gonna cover with that green wraparound.

Ya I should head down to Suntec area where the Marina Sands are recruiting Dealers. Should go and take a look. Maybe become a dealer and play on behalf of casino. Maybe this poker face and stern face can be used for something else instead of scaring students.