Hmm Life is kinda mundane. Why? Not that I minded the free-er hours without having to work.
Its more of the home environment and myself perhaps. I have been sleeping in the wee hours of morning for a few weeks and waking up later and later *no surprise* then shortly after its going out to pack lunch back, eat lunch, online and then especially on days with lessons *driving/jap/guitar*, I head out around 5.30pm, then reached home around 11pm that is if I stayed out a bit for dinner and stuff. Then its online, then sleep.
This routine has been repeating itself for quite a while now. I am NOW trying to adjust my sleeping hours back to normal, ie sleep around midnight, wake up around 9am. Last night I slept earlier around 1.30++ and today woke up near 10.30am, an hour improvement. Tonight, I aim to sleep near 12am instead and wake up earlier.
The home environment is not welcoming. I wake up have to do some chores, eg washing clothes using machine, then dryer, washing plates, sweep floor, water plants, checking oil lamp and adding oil just to name a few. Have not been cooking much cos this week alone, quite a number of days taken up. Mon straight to Wed, thurs rested a bit, today is guitar. Cos I wake up late, by that time, its lunch time. Buy instead. Then cos I head out later around 5.30pm, didnt prepare to cook. The vegs that my mom just bought before she SUDDENLY did her thing and ran off, is left mostly untouched in this case. The previous time, I did finish cooking them off. I rather she not buy all these, so I dont have to try to cook them off.
Another thing is that though there are things to do for me. I feel a lack of focus. Its not that I think my previous job gave me any focus at all but guess that's what a job is. To 'distract' you from thinking about things, to give you an income for all those hours instead and let the time pass by faster cos you are too taken up by all the stuff that each day just passes by. Yet that is not I wanna take up yet. I still have no idea of where I would be heading out to. Guess that is why though there are things to occupy me, there are thonnes of things to do, yet cos there is no direction to take, there is some sort of anxiety.
Yet I wanna enjoy the process instead of focusing on the direction or the end. To stop and smell the flowers at the side of the road, to look up at the blue skies, to feel the cool breeze, to feel the sun shining down, before I get too caught up in just walking down the path hurriedly.
Am I just thinking too much? Hmm...
1 comment:
According to the book "War".
The chapter of Grand Strategy.
Meaning you must have an ultimate Goal/Target that ties all up all goals to it. Only then can it provide the context to see the implications of your actions.
The chapter uses the example of Alexander, who had a grand strategy of conquering most of Greece and more. He rose in military power and influence to gain the armies he needed, he provoked war with ancient Persia, attacked them and destroyed their sources of power and annexed their realms. He pursued his attackers via land instead of sea( which was strongly advocated by his generals), the function was to destroy the harbours whereby the mighty persian fleet had to dock. Alexander was relaxed and full of fun as he partied with his soldiers, as he always where he stands within the workings of his Grand Strategy.
Only by knowing where u are, in relation to what you want to achieve or to live your life by, can u find peace from doubts and vagueness.
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