Bubu to all, back to blogging a bit after my absence.
The june holidays are coming to an end. This is the shortest june holiday I have ever had. Wk 1 full-day course and meeting. Wk 2 went back to clear email, supposedly consultation but no one turned up, cca so have to be physically in school, tidy the mess of a table of a semester of stuff. And dabao things home supposedly to prepare for the coming term.
Week 3 was my true break in that sense. Work is entirely not touched at all. Didnt go anywhere at all. Cos my bro came out then my Dad had to go to hospital... so didnt go anywhere, not even JB. Just this monday, my family went in, but I had course... then it turned out that course got postponed quite last minute... Ended up in town with Tab.
Yar Week 4, ie this week I got 2days for course and 1 for whole-day meeting. Work is completely not touched at all.
Ever since Week 3 also saw me buying a padded sleeping bag, which immediately becomes my bed. Basically I have been camping on my floor for more than a week liao. To keep the long story short, it happened due to my mom shifting an armchair into my sis's room, which means the 3rd bed cannot be pulled out. There is not enuf space to put the mattress. So I ended up sleeping on the floor in a rather cramped space. Why dun just pull out the armchair. Yar can, but just no place to put it at all. My mom took it from her room, replaced it with another chair. So now it has no place to go. Silly right? Yar... Signz... At first it was still okay. But as it was not comfortable, I find myself delaying sleep ie sleeping later and later, so that I am so tired that I would fall asleep almost immediately type. But after a few days of this, I had a bit of migrain from lack of sleep. Also waking up with stiff neck and backaches. Also in the morning, I would be waken (sis waking up, dad watching vcd at 6.30am, talking, lights on at 5.30am) then the cold seeps through the sleeping bag, which sees me waking up shaking, I would sleep and wake a few times, check my sis are up ie around 9am, then I would lie on their bed to continue to sleep. Needless to say, I sleep until mid noon or high noon. A day is over. Bloddy sian and tiring. Its getting kind of miserable. THEN these few nights, I wanted to sleep early, cos I am really tired. But my bro, play PS2, keep his lights on... which keeps me up. Until I go nag him a couple of times then light-out. It cannot continue. These couple of nights, I am sleeping at insane timing of 3.30am cos its too bright/noisy/uncomfortable. Signz this cannot continue. Work is starting soon. I need to readjust my sleeping hours. I am trying but everything else is not helping. Dad watches DVD until late 1am, sisters watching tv until 1am type, bro keeps lights on until 2am. I have no privacy, no door to close to shut out the noise. Is it too selfish to ask for decent night sleep. Otherwise if this continues, I would start feeling exhausted. Not resting much... Signz. I find myself wishing that my bro would go back soon. Dun think I can keep this up. Yest I slept at 3.30am, then woke at 7.20am for course at 9am. Sian. And exhausting. Tom got early morning meeting, sian need to sleep soon. But how to sleep? I dun know how to get to sleep cos my dad is watching DVD again. Sian.
Another sian thing is I went down to the GuanYing temple after course and arrived near 6.30pm. Just had time to light an incense then the next thing, the pple started closing the gates behind me, just as I put in the incense. Then cant even go in, I was still at the outside of the temple. Oh well, have to go another day, before 6.30pm.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Man i am falling into a cycle of degrade and neglect
It started when I entered NEI, being so busy daily from the long hours that I hardly go to the gym. Practicum was no better, cos it meant staying late until 4plus and spending many hours planning lessons for observations, didnt go at all. Then going back to NEI for the final month before posting, wasnt any better. And eventually being posted and now its been another year. A total of 2yrs without a proper gym workout, without a proper and regular exercise regime. It meant by now, my physique has totally collapsed and sagged. Last year I still had some form, now its totally wasted.
Eating alot nowadays also dont seem to be helping. Weekdays irregular meals, sometimes extra meals before dinner and weekends eating 'better food' with friends (though I have cut down alot on the desert). The 4day course I have been attending saw me eating up to 6 meals a day. Morning breakfast, then morning tea, then lunch, then afternoon tea, then snack and dinner. Man I can feel my arteries clogging. Then go back to work, they always pack lunch for us, which means I cant go and get my own. Mostly halah food eg chicken rice with curry blah blah, argh my arteries. The only redeeming point is I often dun finish what they pack, cos its too heavy (taste-wise or oily), at times I just eat a few mouthfuls then throw.
And I am the proud owner of a akira DVD player on vesak day. Bought it for $44.90, to hook up with the TV in my room (bro's room) so that that I dun have to fight for the DVD with my dad who is watching tv outside. Can just watch anytime, lying on my bed... Didnt get an antenna cos the current tv programs sucks still. So I have started watching a few movies here and there... need to get some titles the next time I go JB.
Plus finally ever since last friday, I have been so very tired. On that day, I totally crashed around 9am and woke up around 12pm. Then I just feel tired everyday. Its not like I am not getting enough sleep. Havent been gaming or anything meant I sleep near 10pm. Though I had to go for full-day courses on Mon, Tue, Wed and Fri, I was tired daily. Just feel like sleeping and not waking up forever type. Vesak day and the weekends was spent on sleeping and going out then more sleeping. Even today, I slept at 1am, woke up around 830am, then went to my sis's room to sleep until 11plus, ate lunch, feel tired, rested around 3pm then I bathed and went for jap class. Around 10pm I am yawning and wishing for my bed. Man... its like what Tab said, we just didnt realize how tired we are. And it catches up with ya. My mom was saying the body trying to recover the sleep but it takes an exponentially more hrs to recover every lost hour of sleep. Guess its a cumulative effect. Imagine 10 intense weeks without any break save for public holiday or mc. Imagine 10 long weeks, most days are double shifts ie 7am-1pm then 1.30pm-5.30pm plus reach home around 6.30-7pm.
Yar no wonder my body is like a deflated balloon, just not much energy and becoming a flabby balloon.
Tom I WILL start on a workout, be it at home or go to the gym and hope to keep it going. Health is Wealth. I do not want my body to go to such a state of neglect ie become humongous like an elephant before I start taking actions. It is seriously easy to lapse into that cycle of neglect that the pounds get put on easily cos work just takes up so much time that the only activity one can do easily is just to eat and eat and eat. It is easy to fall into that vicious cycle. So far I still do not snack but I need to change my main meals, the number and the content and watch the calories. Want to feel strong and energetic again... as well as look good and feel good about my body.
K tommorrow workout here I come.
Eating alot nowadays also dont seem to be helping. Weekdays irregular meals, sometimes extra meals before dinner and weekends eating 'better food' with friends (though I have cut down alot on the desert). The 4day course I have been attending saw me eating up to 6 meals a day. Morning breakfast, then morning tea, then lunch, then afternoon tea, then snack and dinner. Man I can feel my arteries clogging. Then go back to work, they always pack lunch for us, which means I cant go and get my own. Mostly halah food eg chicken rice with curry blah blah, argh my arteries. The only redeeming point is I often dun finish what they pack, cos its too heavy (taste-wise or oily), at times I just eat a few mouthfuls then throw.
And I am the proud owner of a akira DVD player on vesak day. Bought it for $44.90, to hook up with the TV in my room (bro's room) so that that I dun have to fight for the DVD with my dad who is watching tv outside. Can just watch anytime, lying on my bed... Didnt get an antenna cos the current tv programs sucks still. So I have started watching a few movies here and there... need to get some titles the next time I go JB.
Plus finally ever since last friday, I have been so very tired. On that day, I totally crashed around 9am and woke up around 12pm. Then I just feel tired everyday. Its not like I am not getting enough sleep. Havent been gaming or anything meant I sleep near 10pm. Though I had to go for full-day courses on Mon, Tue, Wed and Fri, I was tired daily. Just feel like sleeping and not waking up forever type. Vesak day and the weekends was spent on sleeping and going out then more sleeping. Even today, I slept at 1am, woke up around 830am, then went to my sis's room to sleep until 11plus, ate lunch, feel tired, rested around 3pm then I bathed and went for jap class. Around 10pm I am yawning and wishing for my bed. Man... its like what Tab said, we just didnt realize how tired we are. And it catches up with ya. My mom was saying the body trying to recover the sleep but it takes an exponentially more hrs to recover every lost hour of sleep. Guess its a cumulative effect. Imagine 10 intense weeks without any break save for public holiday or mc. Imagine 10 long weeks, most days are double shifts ie 7am-1pm then 1.30pm-5.30pm plus reach home around 6.30-7pm.
Yar no wonder my body is like a deflated balloon, just not much energy and becoming a flabby balloon.
Tom I WILL start on a workout, be it at home or go to the gym and hope to keep it going. Health is Wealth. I do not want my body to go to such a state of neglect ie become humongous like an elephant before I start taking actions. It is seriously easy to lapse into that cycle of neglect that the pounds get put on easily cos work just takes up so much time that the only activity one can do easily is just to eat and eat and eat. It is easy to fall into that vicious cycle. So far I still do not snack but I need to change my main meals, the number and the content and watch the calories. Want to feel strong and energetic again... as well as look good and feel good about my body.
K tommorrow workout here I come.
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