Today I cancelled assignment. Not feeling well. Light headed and a forming headache towards the end of the day. Weather-related plus tired. But have cca so was contemplating leaving earlier but it turned out to be a meeting of sort, so I just stone and sit in a chair at the back. Felt better by the end of the day. Went off straight on the dot. Dont care.
Going to grab some much needed sleep. But just after dinner so cant sleep immediately. 1 more day to the end of the week. Hols then until next Thur. Then the whole thing will repeat itself for many more weeks to come.... Argh
Weight loss is slowing down. Back at the "Pig of my life" weight and so far still there. Checking the HPB app, my calorie deficit is kinda low, 200-300 calories. That means to lose 1kg, I would need about 12-18 days. So unless is keep at it through diet and exercising more, to increase the calorie deficit, it would be slow... Argh I only just dragged myself to gym yesterday.
I am determined to get back to Uni weight. That still at least 6-6.5kg more to go. Half year duration. Keep at it. Need to re-organise my exercise days due to very hectic work days on Mon and Tue. Need to put 2 days at least.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Getting more stamina...
The good news is that there would be a longer break from this sat until next thur due to the Labor Day and followed by the 3 days of the Golden Week hols. So that meant have something to look forward to as long as it's this Friday soon.
After 2 days of intensive plus hectic timetable, the rest of the week seems less packed with lessons. Can slow down a bit n relax. Also wanna use the time to plan the lessons so that I don't and won't have to come back at all during the hols cos all printed nicely n prepared. Make my own life easier.
Surprisingly now I am still awake despite a hectic day, assignment. Maybe due to the 2 coffees n 1 coke zero I drank. Too much caffeine in the system? Going to sleep after this post. Just need a bit more stamina to make myself go for gym. Missed last week n this week, I've skipped my usual Mon gym day so far. Too stoned. Think tomorrow, I will try to get started. Maybe change gym days to Wed n Fri instead. Mon timetable is too siong plus too ultra-zombified.
Assignment is back to purely Pri level hence my total amt received reduced also. It's easier for me to focus on one plus the other was too busy with sec work. Still easier money than my work bu still is the travelling n effort. See how when this one ends around Oct.
Share market is still not moving much. Wait n see if post-election, prices would rise. A.k.a the Election Effect. Now is wait and wait, get some dividends. Don't spend the dividends, re-invest them. Build up personal buffer as much as I can. My assignment income n 1 mth bonus can cover my insurance premiums. No more other insurance, adequate coverage. Sadly my life is still worth more dead than alive.
In the meantime, I am buying my weekly dose of 'Hope' in toto. Stopped 4D long time back. Hope to tio the 'Curse of the lottery winners'. Can definitely live happier more relaxed than now. And also 用人赚钱, during this period of time.
After 2 days of intensive plus hectic timetable, the rest of the week seems less packed with lessons. Can slow down a bit n relax. Also wanna use the time to plan the lessons so that I don't and won't have to come back at all during the hols cos all printed nicely n prepared. Make my own life easier.
Surprisingly now I am still awake despite a hectic day, assignment. Maybe due to the 2 coffees n 1 coke zero I drank. Too much caffeine in the system? Going to sleep after this post. Just need a bit more stamina to make myself go for gym. Missed last week n this week, I've skipped my usual Mon gym day so far. Too stoned. Think tomorrow, I will try to get started. Maybe change gym days to Wed n Fri instead. Mon timetable is too siong plus too ultra-zombified.
Assignment is back to purely Pri level hence my total amt received reduced also. It's easier for me to focus on one plus the other was too busy with sec work. Still easier money than my work bu still is the travelling n effort. See how when this one ends around Oct.
Share market is still not moving much. Wait n see if post-election, prices would rise. A.k.a the Election Effect. Now is wait and wait, get some dividends. Don't spend the dividends, re-invest them. Build up personal buffer as much as I can. My assignment income n 1 mth bonus can cover my insurance premiums. No more other insurance, adequate coverage. Sadly my life is still worth more dead than alive.
In the meantime, I am buying my weekly dose of 'Hope' in toto. Stopped 4D long time back. Hope to tio the 'Curse of the lottery winners'. Can definitely live happier more relaxed than now. And also 用人赚钱, during this period of time.
Monday, April 25, 2011
"Erm erm" at the Night Safari
It's kinda of a funny 'misadventure' in the whole Night Safari thing.
My sis got the staff letter from her boss to get 4 admitted into the Night Safari. But there's a catch, the staff must be there and produce the staff card. So her boss loaned her the card. BUT looking at the pic, none of us look like that. Maybe my mom but in the end she didnt want to go.
So is left with me or my sister, Geoky. Only I among us both, only I seemed to be able to carry off a straight face and lie through without batting an eyelid. So we headed there, my sis, Dad (who didnt know about our dilemna) and me. I combed my hair to the very side parting to make some sort of resemblance. I cant help the fact that I look younger, and my hair was coloured compared to her boss...
When we arrived. I went on ahead while they waited at the zoo area, to go get the tix. Though my sister's collegues were telling her that they just quickly flash the staff card. This particular lady whom served me, took the staff card, looked at me and said "Erm..." I could see she was trying to see if there was resemblance. I looked at her with a straight face and said "Erm...." then mumbled a bit about it being an old photo. So after a short, uncomfortable pause, she processed the letter and gave me a tix to admit. I paid for 3x tram rides of $30 total.
Then I walked back to find my sis and dad. Dad was still kept in the dark cos we know he would nag non-stop about honesty and all the stuff if he knew of the complicated ruse of posing as my sis's boss. We ate KFC right outside the zoo entrance before going in. Over our meals, I was telling my sis about the whole 'adventure' and the "erm erm". Seriously for an adult with tram ride, tix is $32 per person! Freaking expensive. If not for this 'free' entry except for tram, I wouldnt even wanna pay. The worse-case scenario is that in the end, I wasnt successful in the impersonation and had to resort to buying 3 full price tix and just bluff my dad that they were free. PHEW!
After dinner, around 7.30pm, everything closed. Including the KFC, the Cheers. Everything at the Zoo corner closed. Then we walked with a full belly towards the Night safari. We entered and walked 1 of the trail nearest to the entrance. It was quite refreshing initially esp when you walk and see the noctural animals like deers, crocodile. But later we reached the end of the trail and we had to walk quite a long distance back to the entrance area to watch the Animal Show and later take the Tram ride. By then my dad was breathing hard already. I whispered to my sis that most likely we watch the show and take tram, end cos no chance can get Dad to walk much more. His heart plus severely obese, made it difficult for him to walk too much. More so in the dark trails with slopes.
The animal show was alright. Surprised at the size of the wolf and hyena, also how cute the fishing cat was. Not impressed with the otters cos of the previous otter-sex encounters just a couple of months back. Think the show is really for kids.
After that we headed for the Tram ride. While we were waiting in the queue for the animal show, we saw the tram passengers alighting and there was a wall of photos taken while people were in the tram. We were observing how they printed out everything and there were a few takers. We were trying to see how much the photos cost. It cost $20 for it. Its a rather big photo. We agreed that if the shot was decent, can consider paying when its our turn. When we just got on, within seconds, a guy came and took photos with just 1sec of notice. Err my eyes were half closed in the photo. But overall we all look decent and we did pay for that photo.
The tram ride was rather cooling. Got to see many animals indeed (including a bull elephant facing its ass straight at the road where the trams would pass by and poohing) Cos of the dark, couldnt see too clearly for me, my sis was telling me she saw something drop. Really saw many diff animals though we didnt go to the other 3 walking trails. After the ride, we walked out. I dont think I would want to go again unless its free. $32 is totally not worth it. Very over-priced even by tourist standards. My sis was saying that at least in Taipei, we headed to touristy places and the stuff were pretty cheap, they had a range of prices and not overly expensive unlike Sg. I totally agree.
Feeling thirsty, we were considering getting a drink or an ice-cream. But the food-court superbly over-priced! A nasi brayani cost $17-$19. Chilli crab is $56. A sweet and sour hotplate costs $20+ OMFG!!! A can of coke cost $4. We decided we rather go elsewhere. Also took a peep in the merchandise shops. Bloody expensive. A plushie cost mostly near $30. There was a nice polo for $35 but I decided not to. The cheapest was some flimsy looking small key chain of sort. No thanks. My dad offered to treat us Bens & Jerrys but we think he is not familiar with the premium pricing of the ice-cream. He pointed at certain pics of Mix and Match, Sundaes that had several scoops of ice-cream, and they cost $15-$16. We told Dad that we rather go elsewhere. Plus obviously he not willing to pay the premium price for the ice cream. My dad is still in the mass-market type ice cream.
We headed to the car, got out some canned drinks and drank. Then headed home. Missed the connection from KJE and landed near Tuas. Then made it home near midnight. I slept around 1am plus after all the 'excitement'.
I wouldnt want to go to both zoo or the night safari until maybe ten years later. Not that I dont like animals. But having seen so many documentaries about them, learn so much about their natural habitat and seeing them just hanging around in the zoo is just so shallow. Plus didnt really learn alot about facts. The only thing is the size. Certain animals are just so large in real-life compared to what is seen in the documentaries. Can appreciate the raw power of the animal from its size and build.
My sis got the staff letter from her boss to get 4 admitted into the Night Safari. But there's a catch, the staff must be there and produce the staff card. So her boss loaned her the card. BUT looking at the pic, none of us look like that. Maybe my mom but in the end she didnt want to go.
So is left with me or my sister, Geoky. Only I among us both, only I seemed to be able to carry off a straight face and lie through without batting an eyelid. So we headed there, my sis, Dad (who didnt know about our dilemna) and me. I combed my hair to the very side parting to make some sort of resemblance. I cant help the fact that I look younger, and my hair was coloured compared to her boss...
When we arrived. I went on ahead while they waited at the zoo area, to go get the tix. Though my sister's collegues were telling her that they just quickly flash the staff card. This particular lady whom served me, took the staff card, looked at me and said "Erm..." I could see she was trying to see if there was resemblance. I looked at her with a straight face and said "Erm...." then mumbled a bit about it being an old photo. So after a short, uncomfortable pause, she processed the letter and gave me a tix to admit. I paid for 3x tram rides of $30 total.
Then I walked back to find my sis and dad. Dad was still kept in the dark cos we know he would nag non-stop about honesty and all the stuff if he knew of the complicated ruse of posing as my sis's boss. We ate KFC right outside the zoo entrance before going in. Over our meals, I was telling my sis about the whole 'adventure' and the "erm erm". Seriously for an adult with tram ride, tix is $32 per person! Freaking expensive. If not for this 'free' entry except for tram, I wouldnt even wanna pay. The worse-case scenario is that in the end, I wasnt successful in the impersonation and had to resort to buying 3 full price tix and just bluff my dad that they were free. PHEW!
After dinner, around 7.30pm, everything closed. Including the KFC, the Cheers. Everything at the Zoo corner closed. Then we walked with a full belly towards the Night safari. We entered and walked 1 of the trail nearest to the entrance. It was quite refreshing initially esp when you walk and see the noctural animals like deers, crocodile. But later we reached the end of the trail and we had to walk quite a long distance back to the entrance area to watch the Animal Show and later take the Tram ride. By then my dad was breathing hard already. I whispered to my sis that most likely we watch the show and take tram, end cos no chance can get Dad to walk much more. His heart plus severely obese, made it difficult for him to walk too much. More so in the dark trails with slopes.
The animal show was alright. Surprised at the size of the wolf and hyena, also how cute the fishing cat was. Not impressed with the otters cos of the previous otter-sex encounters just a couple of months back. Think the show is really for kids.
After that we headed for the Tram ride. While we were waiting in the queue for the animal show, we saw the tram passengers alighting and there was a wall of photos taken while people were in the tram. We were observing how they printed out everything and there were a few takers. We were trying to see how much the photos cost. It cost $20 for it. Its a rather big photo. We agreed that if the shot was decent, can consider paying when its our turn. When we just got on, within seconds, a guy came and took photos with just 1sec of notice. Err my eyes were half closed in the photo. But overall we all look decent and we did pay for that photo.
The tram ride was rather cooling. Got to see many animals indeed (including a bull elephant facing its ass straight at the road where the trams would pass by and poohing) Cos of the dark, couldnt see too clearly for me, my sis was telling me she saw something drop. Really saw many diff animals though we didnt go to the other 3 walking trails. After the ride, we walked out. I dont think I would want to go again unless its free. $32 is totally not worth it. Very over-priced even by tourist standards. My sis was saying that at least in Taipei, we headed to touristy places and the stuff were pretty cheap, they had a range of prices and not overly expensive unlike Sg. I totally agree.
Feeling thirsty, we were considering getting a drink or an ice-cream. But the food-court superbly over-priced! A nasi brayani cost $17-$19. Chilli crab is $56. A sweet and sour hotplate costs $20+ OMFG!!! A can of coke cost $4. We decided we rather go elsewhere. Also took a peep in the merchandise shops. Bloody expensive. A plushie cost mostly near $30. There was a nice polo for $35 but I decided not to. The cheapest was some flimsy looking small key chain of sort. No thanks. My dad offered to treat us Bens & Jerrys but we think he is not familiar with the premium pricing of the ice-cream. He pointed at certain pics of Mix and Match, Sundaes that had several scoops of ice-cream, and they cost $15-$16. We told Dad that we rather go elsewhere. Plus obviously he not willing to pay the premium price for the ice cream. My dad is still in the mass-market type ice cream.
We headed to the car, got out some canned drinks and drank. Then headed home. Missed the connection from KJE and landed near Tuas. Then made it home near midnight. I slept around 1am plus after all the 'excitement'.
I wouldnt want to go to both zoo or the night safari until maybe ten years later. Not that I dont like animals. But having seen so many documentaries about them, learn so much about their natural habitat and seeing them just hanging around in the zoo is just so shallow. Plus didnt really learn alot about facts. The only thing is the size. Certain animals are just so large in real-life compared to what is seen in the documentaries. Can appreciate the raw power of the animal from its size and build.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
1 class sit through course introduction.
1 class of my own.
Settling admin n planning n stuff 2 periods
Free time after lunch, guide student n looked for one
1 period conversation class
1 period fire drill
Home room before all lessons start n after lessons end.
Cca immediately after dismissal
Ended at 5.30pm, I left about 6pm... Didn't attend the party, glad assignment is cancelled. I ate a quick dinner n fell asleep watching tv. Only to wake n lie on the floor sleeping until 11 then woke up. Still tired n plan to sleep in more hours.
1 class of my own.
Settling admin n planning n stuff 2 periods
Free time after lunch, guide student n looked for one
1 period conversation class
1 period fire drill
Home room before all lessons start n after lessons end.
Cca immediately after dismissal
Ended at 5.30pm, I left about 6pm... Didn't attend the party, glad assignment is cancelled. I ate a quick dinner n fell asleep watching tv. Only to wake n lie on the floor sleeping until 11 then woke up. Still tired n plan to sleep in more hours.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
See the Bigger Picture
Today is the first lesson for the level I am taking. I hammered together a plan of sort and photocopied the ws in the midst of me munching my breakfast. After the form class (more of zhuo bo inside) then got 1 class. I really lost quite a bit of my stamina. After that class, doing the admin. Even more tired.
After all that was done, left a short while for me to rest up before teaching the same thing to another class. Shortened lunch of Subway wrap. Followed by cleaning duty supervision. Then had that communication class, straight after is more form class. Nothing much glitches and actually students were quite positive and its encouraging.
But I was really stoned out after all that. I was really really empty after all that. Followed by the once a month long meeting... that went on until 5.35pm. I was tuning out some parts of jap by then. My brain refuse to translate anymore. End of meeting, finished up some more stupid introduction (I''ve lost count of no of introduction I've done) for the class newsletter. Then before I could move off, a collegue came to talk to me about committee work, left 6pm. Let's just say, there's alot of work and I dont want to do it outside of my work hours. Anyway just telling me verbally is not going to help much, plus telling me when things like budget is vague or even inital plans are not there is not going to help much. So I am not going to put more thoughts into it outside of working hours.
Outside work hours are my own time to do as I please. To exercise, to go for assignment, to go out, to sleep, to watch tv, go for course, to stay at home and talk with family member. Though time and again, I have lesson ideas sprouting out from the blue, I dont make any effort to write it down, cos I dont want work & play to mix. A clear division works better for me. I still feel they are not paying enough to utilise these ideas. I rather just keep them in my brain. If later forget such ideas, forget it, no loss. I dont wanna work from home. I am not that self-sacrificing as an educator.
Was too tired to go to the gym. Instead head to a nearby bookshop to buy some clear binding pockets, a paper memo. Bought bread. My lunch and breakfast was so low on calories (total about 600) that I could afford to eat a Yam bread, then eat rice and stuff, still only 1400 calories approximately. Bought a bread for tom's lunch. Cos these past mornings, I have been eating Ham sandwiches with lettuce, honey mustard, tomatoes. Quite tasty but think the raw food is not good for my stomach and hence my cough. Been coughing quite a bit. I do feel my still-fitting work pants got slightly looser. Still got some way to go to my target weight of 62.5kg (Uni weight) If I can ever reach back to that weight, I wont ever complain about my weight anymore.
I've managed to "siam" the whole workplace dinner. For one, its very over-priced. If its really really fantastic luxury food, I am willing to pay that price. But for zcp, I walk over to a neighbourhood coffeeshop nearby that serves very delicious zcp for just a mere $2.80. At these zcp dinners, I often eat little because its just not nice enough, plus no matter how much I eat, no sense of value. I really dont care much for the 'you know' factor cos usually in practice, attending such dinners is to net-work and build up some goodwill for use later.
But given that last year, after so many dinners, did that lead to anything more? I dont think so. They just needed us to become main teachers so that they can get rid of the contracted vendor for that communication classes. Dont think attending such extremely katok dinners is helping anything. Plus you dont get to sit with your khakis. You have to 'lucky draw' a specific seat. And its really really random where you end up sitting at. Then forced to make small talks with your immediate neighbours. Well its good for exposure but with such different cultures, interests, age-group, gender and plus language barrier and proficiency. So really very very non-important topics of small talk. I ever got to sit right next to the P and another with both VP before. Really suay. Can make small talk but really too different to say anything. Then some would ask you questions about your personal life which I have to circumvate around not to be too revealing and later got to ask a similar qn back. There are some things I really dont want to know about some casual aquaintances or others. I dont want to know about your lives. What's so fascinating about mine? Ya I am ususual but I just wanna be left alone.
Tomorrow's dinner is the first in a whole string. I would just go for the cheaper ones if not, minimally. I am also very tired. I need to use the time to rest. Plus tom night, I have assignment unless its cancelled. So if go is double whammy - eat katok zcp plus lose assignment income. I rather choose not to go, save the money, go and earn the money. Then reach home around 11 pm plus and sleep late until the next day.
On a lighter note, I made the "Peanut-butter banana with chocolate kisses wrapped in Wanton" on Monday. Also missed the gym workout cos of tired. But since I had to climb up and down and even stand in the hot sun during work, I was glad to miss gym. Sufficient. The fried wantons were delicious esp when consumed shortly after cooking. Cos everything is melted and combined inside plus the cripsy wanton skin, is very nice. Really surprised by how delicious they were. BUT the wantons cannot keep. Once its kept for about 1.5-2hr mark, they start softening and the insides solidify a bit. So not that tasty. So its a nice treat to be finished immediately or shortly. Really easy except for the wrapping up the wantons that time.
Next mini 'cooking or mixing' project is to make my own alcoholic raisins. I checked on the internet that dark rum can be used to soak raisins. Cos dark rum is not easily mixable as a cocktail drink due to its signature taste like whisky. I had bought small boxes of raisins yesterday to try. Not yet, maybe in 10mins time. Yesterday I also bought a can of Anchor Beer Smooth (1 chilled can is $1.85)cos I was paying at Sheng Siong and saw the chilled beer section. Brain was still reeling from the 'overload' and thinking too much stuff, that I decided to get one to sample with dinner so that I can force the overly-hyper active brain to 'relax and stop thinking'. That really did the trick. The beer is very nice too, reminds me of Tiger classic, with little bitter after-taste. More relaxed after and headed for assignment. I really didnt think much on the journey despite the long queues and packed trains and buses. Just numbed. Now I know why some drink so much. Still for health reasons, an occasional beer to numb is fine. Too much is alcoholism.
I know this year I have to make sure I save up more dilligently cos really this position has not much gurantees. If next year they decide on another 'plan' then maybe I would be out of job. So I will be more thrifty. Maximizing savings to hit my next higher level of personal buffer (target is $50k) Also give myself a week or two to firstly build up the stamina (cos after work, I am so dead) to settle things in order before I start looking for a job at the sideline. A pre-emptive move.
Even if later after considering all factors, I might stay on in the future cos after comparing, maybe others are worse, but at least I would feel better to be focusing my efforts towards something. Looking at the 9 reasons I have, its a reminder that sometimes too caught up in small trival things to see the Bigger Picture. Sometimes just have to wait a bit until more stamina built up, less tired and irritated and impatient to see the whole situation.
After all that was done, left a short while for me to rest up before teaching the same thing to another class. Shortened lunch of Subway wrap. Followed by cleaning duty supervision. Then had that communication class, straight after is more form class. Nothing much glitches and actually students were quite positive and its encouraging.
But I was really stoned out after all that. I was really really empty after all that. Followed by the once a month long meeting... that went on until 5.35pm. I was tuning out some parts of jap by then. My brain refuse to translate anymore. End of meeting, finished up some more stupid introduction (I''ve lost count of no of introduction I've done) for the class newsletter. Then before I could move off, a collegue came to talk to me about committee work, left 6pm. Let's just say, there's alot of work and I dont want to do it outside of my work hours. Anyway just telling me verbally is not going to help much, plus telling me when things like budget is vague or even inital plans are not there is not going to help much. So I am not going to put more thoughts into it outside of working hours.
Outside work hours are my own time to do as I please. To exercise, to go for assignment, to go out, to sleep, to watch tv, go for course, to stay at home and talk with family member. Though time and again, I have lesson ideas sprouting out from the blue, I dont make any effort to write it down, cos I dont want work & play to mix. A clear division works better for me. I still feel they are not paying enough to utilise these ideas. I rather just keep them in my brain. If later forget such ideas, forget it, no loss. I dont wanna work from home. I am not that self-sacrificing as an educator.
Was too tired to go to the gym. Instead head to a nearby bookshop to buy some clear binding pockets, a paper memo. Bought bread. My lunch and breakfast was so low on calories (total about 600) that I could afford to eat a Yam bread, then eat rice and stuff, still only 1400 calories approximately. Bought a bread for tom's lunch. Cos these past mornings, I have been eating Ham sandwiches with lettuce, honey mustard, tomatoes. Quite tasty but think the raw food is not good for my stomach and hence my cough. Been coughing quite a bit. I do feel my still-fitting work pants got slightly looser. Still got some way to go to my target weight of 62.5kg (Uni weight) If I can ever reach back to that weight, I wont ever complain about my weight anymore.
I've managed to "siam" the whole workplace dinner. For one, its very over-priced. If its really really fantastic luxury food, I am willing to pay that price. But for zcp, I walk over to a neighbourhood coffeeshop nearby that serves very delicious zcp for just a mere $2.80. At these zcp dinners, I often eat little because its just not nice enough, plus no matter how much I eat, no sense of value. I really dont care much for the 'you know' factor cos usually in practice, attending such dinners is to net-work and build up some goodwill for use later.
But given that last year, after so many dinners, did that lead to anything more? I dont think so. They just needed us to become main teachers so that they can get rid of the contracted vendor for that communication classes. Dont think attending such extremely katok dinners is helping anything. Plus you dont get to sit with your khakis. You have to 'lucky draw' a specific seat. And its really really random where you end up sitting at. Then forced to make small talks with your immediate neighbours. Well its good for exposure but with such different cultures, interests, age-group, gender and plus language barrier and proficiency. So really very very non-important topics of small talk. I ever got to sit right next to the P and another with both VP before. Really suay. Can make small talk but really too different to say anything. Then some would ask you questions about your personal life which I have to circumvate around not to be too revealing and later got to ask a similar qn back. There are some things I really dont want to know about some casual aquaintances or others. I dont want to know about your lives. What's so fascinating about mine? Ya I am ususual but I just wanna be left alone.
Tomorrow's dinner is the first in a whole string. I would just go for the cheaper ones if not, minimally. I am also very tired. I need to use the time to rest. Plus tom night, I have assignment unless its cancelled. So if go is double whammy - eat katok zcp plus lose assignment income. I rather choose not to go, save the money, go and earn the money. Then reach home around 11 pm plus and sleep late until the next day.
On a lighter note, I made the "Peanut-butter banana with chocolate kisses wrapped in Wanton" on Monday. Also missed the gym workout cos of tired. But since I had to climb up and down and even stand in the hot sun during work, I was glad to miss gym. Sufficient. The fried wantons were delicious esp when consumed shortly after cooking. Cos everything is melted and combined inside plus the cripsy wanton skin, is very nice. Really surprised by how delicious they were. BUT the wantons cannot keep. Once its kept for about 1.5-2hr mark, they start softening and the insides solidify a bit. So not that tasty. So its a nice treat to be finished immediately or shortly. Really easy except for the wrapping up the wantons that time.
Next mini 'cooking or mixing' project is to make my own alcoholic raisins. I checked on the internet that dark rum can be used to soak raisins. Cos dark rum is not easily mixable as a cocktail drink due to its signature taste like whisky. I had bought small boxes of raisins yesterday to try. Not yet, maybe in 10mins time. Yesterday I also bought a can of Anchor Beer Smooth (1 chilled can is $1.85)cos I was paying at Sheng Siong and saw the chilled beer section. Brain was still reeling from the 'overload' and thinking too much stuff, that I decided to get one to sample with dinner so that I can force the overly-hyper active brain to 'relax and stop thinking'. That really did the trick. The beer is very nice too, reminds me of Tiger classic, with little bitter after-taste. More relaxed after and headed for assignment. I really didnt think much on the journey despite the long queues and packed trains and buses. Just numbed. Now I know why some drink so much. Still for health reasons, an occasional beer to numb is fine. Too much is alcoholism.
I know this year I have to make sure I save up more dilligently cos really this position has not much gurantees. If next year they decide on another 'plan' then maybe I would be out of job. So I will be more thrifty. Maximizing savings to hit my next higher level of personal buffer (target is $50k) Also give myself a week or two to firstly build up the stamina (cos after work, I am so dead) to settle things in order before I start looking for a job at the sideline. A pre-emptive move.
Even if later after considering all factors, I might stay on in the future cos after comparing, maybe others are worse, but at least I would feel better to be focusing my efforts towards something. Looking at the 9 reasons I have, its a reminder that sometimes too caught up in small trival things to see the Bigger Picture. Sometimes just have to wait a bit until more stamina built up, less tired and irritated and impatient to see the whole situation.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
No Stamina n rolls eyes
It's such a bothersome day. My time-table is very hectic on Mon and Tue. It has back to back lessons. Then with the 10mins interval, it meant either I find a bench n sit or climb down then up again. But with no personal space along the corridor, can see why some just stay up all the way... Need to keep water bottle handy.
Just for today, first lesson is spent on course briefing. I have to be present but just do self introd etc, other collegue takes the lead. But when it comes to the other communication lesson, it's the first lesson, hit the ground running. I already made changes to the lousy ws, made an extra and photocopy for the whole level plus have to lead... I dunno why this other new collegue keeps asking me questions. I answered him I am not that sure of every lesson. BUT we will stick to that Lesson Flow n ideas done up by Headless cos I am NOT going to wreck my brain for a replacement/better activity, alter the flow or any extra.
So with questions asked by various collegues about their roles, I told them u assist a small gp of students. That same Jap had to explain the course outline, I got the Az to explain quickly the goals of the year n expectation. Then each of us did quite interesting self introd but cos abt 6, so time dragged a bit. Plus blur collegue explained very long. I was left with 20mins to do the activity n explain their hw activity. Walao! Ate time a bit but managed to finish assigning... Bloody hell, I felt so super tired after that...
Then Headless came n ask me how it went... Err better flow n activities? What to say, told her not enough time but still mged to assign. I heard her talking to the other jap collegues to solicit feedback. I really think it's not the students, but the lesson planning n planned activities n ws. Guess what? It's another round of that tomorrow... *sigh*
I felt damn tired and drained after that one lesson... Partly no stamina (new term, new job responsibilities) and at almost same pay. Do so much for what. I always enjoy teaching hence I am still doing that but these ambiguities are not helping me 'enjoy teaching' at all. Extra hrs going to form class, plus own Eng lessons n now this whole unclear idea of a communication cum reading writing class. A bad deal. I am not the only one unhappy - my counterpart, the non-jap collegues whom are roped in to assist. I don't think I should be planning this thing also... Poor planning n communication indeed. Cuedos to Az n local collegues who can ne flexible enough inside to help out, ask them a question to showcase a bad/good example. But
was very rushed due to time.
God I have this lesson everyday except Fri on top of my own Eng solo lessons... With cca starting, I am seeing that it's impossible to plan stuff the day before unless I stay back which I refuse. Cos on at least 2 of such, immediate after is cca. Plus need to photocopy copies... Signs
Can the hols n weekends come quickly. Tom have meeting, then the day after is cca. All straight after dismissal. Left free periods? It's a punishing schedule
Just for today, first lesson is spent on course briefing. I have to be present but just do self introd etc, other collegue takes the lead. But when it comes to the other communication lesson, it's the first lesson, hit the ground running. I already made changes to the lousy ws, made an extra and photocopy for the whole level plus have to lead... I dunno why this other new collegue keeps asking me questions. I answered him I am not that sure of every lesson. BUT we will stick to that Lesson Flow n ideas done up by Headless cos I am NOT going to wreck my brain for a replacement/better activity, alter the flow or any extra.
So with questions asked by various collegues about their roles, I told them u assist a small gp of students. That same Jap had to explain the course outline, I got the Az to explain quickly the goals of the year n expectation. Then each of us did quite interesting self introd but cos abt 6, so time dragged a bit. Plus blur collegue explained very long. I was left with 20mins to do the activity n explain their hw activity. Walao! Ate time a bit but managed to finish assigning... Bloody hell, I felt so super tired after that...
Then Headless came n ask me how it went... Err better flow n activities? What to say, told her not enough time but still mged to assign. I heard her talking to the other jap collegues to solicit feedback. I really think it's not the students, but the lesson planning n planned activities n ws. Guess what? It's another round of that tomorrow... *sigh*
I felt damn tired and drained after that one lesson... Partly no stamina (new term, new job responsibilities) and at almost same pay. Do so much for what. I always enjoy teaching hence I am still doing that but these ambiguities are not helping me 'enjoy teaching' at all. Extra hrs going to form class, plus own Eng lessons n now this whole unclear idea of a communication cum reading writing class. A bad deal. I am not the only one unhappy - my counterpart, the non-jap collegues whom are roped in to assist. I don't think I should be planning this thing also... Poor planning n communication indeed. Cuedos to Az n local collegues who can ne flexible enough inside to help out, ask them a question to showcase a bad/good example. But
was very rushed due to time.
God I have this lesson everyday except Fri on top of my own Eng solo lessons... With cca starting, I am seeing that it's impossible to plan stuff the day before unless I stay back which I refuse. Cos on at least 2 of such, immediate after is cca. Plus need to photocopy copies... Signs
Can the hols n weekends come quickly. Tom have meeting, then the day after is cca. All straight after dismissal. Left free periods? It's a punishing schedule
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The dust of life (reminder to self)
I went out to buy dinner just now and some thoughts hit me. I think part of my negativism comes from the 'dust of daily life'.
This thing about worries.
Have job also worried, no job also worried. Worries about future, worries about work, worries about family and health, worries about money and sustainability. No easy answers to these and many of us will ponder if there is an answer to all these.
In fact in our lives (long not short) there's plenty of worries, stress and unhappiness. Is that how I wanna live my life? Obviously no. Then I have to make myself happier. Others cant make me happy always because if you look at other people's lives, the similar worries, stress and unhappiness are all there. There's nobody to constantly help cheer you up, there are those who can help out when you are in a dump. But not every second, every minute with you. The rest is up to you.
True. I can do things to make my own life easier on myself. Be easier on myself for my weakness, my flaws. Understand that I am not perfect, I make mistakes and I am human. I get discouraged at times, I struggled, I've lost my focus before, I've been disappointed, I've been sadden and negative. I've had to struggle very hard, I've had dreams broken, I've been slapped by the starkness of reality and have been pulled down to the ground. In the face of all these, its okay to feel bad, negative, sad. Then the next thing is to move on, not just to be knocked down again, but to cheer myself up along the way so that life is not as harsh, there are things to smile about still.
I need to remind myself this time and again whenever I am covered by the 'dust of daily living' and lose sight of things.
This thing about worries.
Have job also worried, no job also worried. Worries about future, worries about work, worries about family and health, worries about money and sustainability. No easy answers to these and many of us will ponder if there is an answer to all these.
In fact in our lives (long not short) there's plenty of worries, stress and unhappiness. Is that how I wanna live my life? Obviously no. Then I have to make myself happier. Others cant make me happy always because if you look at other people's lives, the similar worries, stress and unhappiness are all there. There's nobody to constantly help cheer you up, there are those who can help out when you are in a dump. But not every second, every minute with you. The rest is up to you.
True. I can do things to make my own life easier on myself. Be easier on myself for my weakness, my flaws. Understand that I am not perfect, I make mistakes and I am human. I get discouraged at times, I struggled, I've lost my focus before, I've been disappointed, I've been sadden and negative. I've had to struggle very hard, I've had dreams broken, I've been slapped by the starkness of reality and have been pulled down to the ground. In the face of all these, its okay to feel bad, negative, sad. Then the next thing is to move on, not just to be knocked down again, but to cheer myself up along the way so that life is not as harsh, there are things to smile about still.
I need to remind myself this time and again whenever I am covered by the 'dust of daily living' and lose sight of things.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Active Friday
Yesterday, after work, met up with Tab to continue on the previously failed attempt to go bowling on this "Active Friday" plan. The plan is to do something more active on some Fri instead of the usual meal, drinks to sit and chat and even dessert. That is quite sedentary.
So we met up again, dinner at subway. Subway wraps are pretty tasty too. An addition to the diet instead of salad all the way. We headed to see if the Marina bowling alley had lanes cos last week there was a company function. Again there was a company function! So waiting list kinda long too so we decided to settle for other things. Went into the arcade right beside. Found Puzzle Fighter and watched Tab finished the game with $1. The pool/billiard was pricy at $14 per hr. Think the cineleisure one is cheaper. I was just glad to be able to sit down. These past 4 days of standing and climbing stairs up n down, up and down, has taken a toll on my legs. Coupled with my right kneecap weakness, legs feel quite tired. I think culturally we are not used to standing for long periods like 1-2 hours at a shot. I think that even after sitting for the rest of the time, that 1-2 hrs took a toll on my legs. Add in the stairs, right knee hurts.
So after the arcade, we headed towards Esplanade. I asked Tab whether she minded if instead we walked towards Marina Sands, cos I havent been there. She agreed and we walked there. The view is very nice indeed. Very well light night scene plus there was a nice breeze all the way. Only thing was my legs were like lead, so I walked very slowly.
We chatted n walked the Helix Bridge towards the IR. Many people were doing the same. Many were taking photos. Inside the IR, we walked around a bit, Tab was showing some stuff to me. We came across this shop touting itself to sell 'healthy burgers' if that was ever possible. Well the tofu patty burger looks healthy but the meat patty with bacon and cheese don't look like that. We headed to the Cold Storage and we ate sushi n diet snapple. Typical routine we usually do. Later we walked the interior.
We then moved to the outside and walked the marina promenade, circled Fullerton and back to Esplanade. A long walk of 3.5km and by then my legs were not laden. The night breeze is cool and then headed home. Quite an active Friday indeed. It's a good experience walking around the marina area. Very beautiful lights and the night breeze. After s pretty negative week, at the end of the night, I felt less stressed and stifled.
So we met up again, dinner at subway. Subway wraps are pretty tasty too. An addition to the diet instead of salad all the way. We headed to see if the Marina bowling alley had lanes cos last week there was a company function. Again there was a company function! So waiting list kinda long too so we decided to settle for other things. Went into the arcade right beside. Found Puzzle Fighter and watched Tab finished the game with $1. The pool/billiard was pricy at $14 per hr. Think the cineleisure one is cheaper. I was just glad to be able to sit down. These past 4 days of standing and climbing stairs up n down, up and down, has taken a toll on my legs. Coupled with my right kneecap weakness, legs feel quite tired. I think culturally we are not used to standing for long periods like 1-2 hours at a shot. I think that even after sitting for the rest of the time, that 1-2 hrs took a toll on my legs. Add in the stairs, right knee hurts.
So after the arcade, we headed towards Esplanade. I asked Tab whether she minded if instead we walked towards Marina Sands, cos I havent been there. She agreed and we walked there. The view is very nice indeed. Very well light night scene plus there was a nice breeze all the way. Only thing was my legs were like lead, so I walked very slowly.
We chatted n walked the Helix Bridge towards the IR. Many people were doing the same. Many were taking photos. Inside the IR, we walked around a bit, Tab was showing some stuff to me. We came across this shop touting itself to sell 'healthy burgers' if that was ever possible. Well the tofu patty burger looks healthy but the meat patty with bacon and cheese don't look like that. We headed to the Cold Storage and we ate sushi n diet snapple. Typical routine we usually do. Later we walked the interior.
We then moved to the outside and walked the marina promenade, circled Fullerton and back to Esplanade. A long walk of 3.5km and by then my legs were not laden. The night breeze is cool and then headed home. Quite an active Friday indeed. It's a good experience walking around the marina area. Very beautiful lights and the night breeze. After s pretty negative week, at the end of the night, I felt less stressed and stifled.
Friday, April 15, 2011
My work-related complaints n grouses
I've realized that I am rather complainy these few days of work. Seriously it's feels lime an eternity despite being just into the 3rd day. Partly is lost the stamina for the longer workday, partly is still sleeping very late 1.30-2am and part is the grouse of work.
I think the whole waiting around with uncertainty, plus the joke of an increment, plus the whole 'negotiation' period when we had already stated areas of concern, and hopes for the pay change due to increase in work responsibilities. The mgt countered that as the workin hrs are the same, no change and despite repeated emphasis that it is the scope. That led to a stale-mate that a renegotiation, where they relented on the job title n pay increase is 'doubled' but that's a miserly amt of $100. We also relented by signing. With regards to eating out, the clarification is they understand (finally) that they can't force us to eat all the time but seeing how packed 2 days are, it would be easier to dabao in the morning. The other 2, I can go out to buy back and 1 day I can go out to eat, don't care... Basically last year didnt end off well and this year didn't start of that good. The contract was only finalized during midway of hols. I flew off to Taipei and completely forgot about it and flew back right back to uncertainty. Then the following mon, it was finalized.
The second reason for grouse, is the extremely poor planning. There is this class for communication which I took solo for 3 levels an hour in the week. Headless under the push from mgt came up with this plan to do a combined class with all the eng teachers of the level inside - 5 in class of less than 40. Can't explain what exactly is the Jap teachers plan the lesson and they execute. In a nutshell The whole bunch of Headless-es thought that all eng speaking teachers have the ability to understand the few instructions (5mins b4 class or the day b4) comprehend and then conduct the lesson with the minimal understanding. Basically that's what I had to do as an ALT. I had already anticipated a whole bunch of possible problems, be it in the execution by other eng- speaking teachers who have no idea of the eng syllabus because they teach non-core subject in pure Eng. Those are hands-on subjects like pe, home ec, art, music. Even without understanding all of the eng, can demonstrate and show. It's unlike how a language class is like. Headless took it upon herself to 'plan' the lesson. I must say based on what we saw earlier last year where the plan was in a few lines mentioning the theme, with no ws, versus what we saw this week where there's a suggested lesson flow with a ws, it's an improvement. BUT still not adequate cos there are vague instructions which leaves certain things to interpretation (having to plan and work through the interpretation IS planning) But with exception of us - the 2 ex-ALT, the other eng-speaking dont understand. They don't see what is their role in the lesson. Plus with 5 collegues in a class, it's quite zuo buo. Issues like the students might clam up, what's the point of having so many in the classroom, They also couldn't get a pay increase despite adding 4p and they were assured that they don't have to plan the lesson at all. Hence it falls to the main el teachers, 3 in a level n I am one of them. Dunno if I am officially involved in planning but as it is, I end up having to do extra already! In my level, I am slated to tske the first 2 lessons cos 2 are non-el eng speakers who have no clue, 2 are Jap who are not supposed to teach the lesson. So by elimination, it's me... Not that I didn't anticipate this outcome but fine I am going to do as minimal extra. Going to involve the rest to be facilitators for each small gp. At least everybody do something. Then I got to do up 2 extra resource that is not provided in the 'planning'. Kept it as simple as I could. Finished one yesterday. That in itself shows that there are still planning to be done. More thought need to be put into these 'plans'. That is my strong point but I won't let it be exploited easily cos of the pay. My stance is, if the lessons are prepared with ws, I would just carry out. But when one looks through the plans, there is no theme. It's like random things put together. Timing provided also not adequate. And each lesson I have to teach 4 times. This takes some getting used to. Last time I planned 3 lessons for 3 diff levels and taught 3 level, 1 class in one shot. Now is plan 1 lesson and teach 4 times in a week. On top of the normal lessons that I am doing for the last time. Same for every other eng lesson that I would have to do for the first time... I too am not happy with these extra 4 periods a week. plus having to teach as a full el teacher solo. Just a lot of preparation yet things are not clear so I've gotten extra assessment books (local) to photocopy instead of doing from scratch. what's the point of the lesson etc weren't really addressed in the first official meeting. Listen to Headless's answers led to more question marks plus dont address anything at all. Kinda lame answers too. Such that most if not everybody left wondering what the hell is going on. There were also strong disagreements with regards to the issue of having 5 collegues at a shot in the class. They would rather each take a small group instead of just being there for the sake of being there. Tell me about it. Then I would end up teaching purely own class, so how different is it from other normal classes. You tell me...
Thirdly is the actual hrs where I now have to go to the assigned form class and just stand and stand and look at them. Then get brain fried when the form teacher does daily admin, plus nag (sch rules, expectations, blah blah) I think my Jap has leveled up even more cos I can understand some of these stuff that is being said... But brain-fried is brain-fried. Then the daily schedule dont clearly mention the role of an asst co-form. I have to keep asking if have to be around. Seriously, I can read the Jap and make intelligent guess but it's really mentally taxing to do so everyday and read through the 3 pages of daily schedule... Details are in Jap, only heading has a line of English. Dont take my jap level for granted. That is not my job to translate these daily.
Another is the concern for the actual teaching. While I can try to teach but am still confused about how to teach with the 4 lessons per class per week. One is slotted for that joke form of the solo lesson I had to do last year, 2 are supposed to be for the another textbook which is pitched at local secondary 1 level English level with chunks of text. I really doubt and wonder if the students are really at that level. Also that leaves just 1 lesson a week to cover their original school tv where exams are based on. This is compared to other levels who are doing purely that textbook in 3 periods a week, plus that 1 lesson of solo. Not sure how well to balance their exams and learning of the language. The concerns of a subject teacher, which I wonder whether it should have been planned better. Tell me about it. All these falls into the planning of the syllabus which in my opinion, more thought can be put into it. That is in the perview of the mgt and Headless.
That still said, I am totally not happy with the complete change in workscope plus the asst form plus included in 1 committee for a measly paltry sum of $100. I am not alone in the thinking. So the bad end and start plus pay dissatisfaction is drawing out the negativism in me. I am trying to be positive and productive. Used the free time I have to make a couple of ws and even look for assessment books to match up to their level. Even went for gym and tried to destress. But the dissatisfaction is not easy to remove. I find this 'year' I have few reasons to be happy or looking forward to work like last year. I look even more forward to Fri and lunch time and I really find little reason to be glad or happy or smile back at other collegues.
The reason given for making me the asst form is "so that you can enjoy teaching more".... Err I cant describe how NIAO this reason is and makes us wanna roll our eyes indeed. I will enjoy myself MORE if I dont have to go for this daily form class thingy. So far my responsibilities are to head up to the class at 8.15am (which means I have to finish eating breakfast and be in school) then stand in the class and watch them do silent reading (I took a book to read too) and pull the curtains (which students dont do without explicit permission) to shield them from the glare of the morning sun as they do the reading *ya sweat drops*. Then after the rest of the Jap form and asst form finished their meeting, they come in. Greet, do class admin, collect the valuables in a bag. And I help to carry the valuable down. All the while, standing somewhere infront or at the back of the class. No extra seat... Stand and Stand. Before the end of the day, have to carry up that same bag of valuables to return. More admin, then got time, ask to say something to students. Stand and Stand.
NOW can anyone tell me, how exactly am I "enjoying myself more" This is NOT a plus point with regards to my changed job scope, its a negative. And this is NOT a perk of the job that is used to justify my lack of pay increase (perk of the job so less pay) Such strange reason given by Headless (mgt) that I really am rolling my eyes up again and again daily...
The work-year has only just started and I am already feeling very tired and have no Jing Sheng left at the end of just a day. This week of just 4 days is Excruciatingly slow and painful. I am feeling so very very negative and short on stamina to get through the day. Dont feel anything positive. Just keep looking forward to de-stressing and resting over the weekend.
I think the whole waiting around with uncertainty, plus the joke of an increment, plus the whole 'negotiation' period when we had already stated areas of concern, and hopes for the pay change due to increase in work responsibilities. The mgt countered that as the workin hrs are the same, no change and despite repeated emphasis that it is the scope. That led to a stale-mate that a renegotiation, where they relented on the job title n pay increase is 'doubled' but that's a miserly amt of $100. We also relented by signing. With regards to eating out, the clarification is they understand (finally) that they can't force us to eat all the time but seeing how packed 2 days are, it would be easier to dabao in the morning. The other 2, I can go out to buy back and 1 day I can go out to eat, don't care... Basically last year didnt end off well and this year didn't start of that good. The contract was only finalized during midway of hols. I flew off to Taipei and completely forgot about it and flew back right back to uncertainty. Then the following mon, it was finalized.
The second reason for grouse, is the extremely poor planning. There is this class for communication which I took solo for 3 levels an hour in the week. Headless under the push from mgt came up with this plan to do a combined class with all the eng teachers of the level inside - 5 in class of less than 40. Can't explain what exactly is the Jap teachers plan the lesson and they execute. In a nutshell The whole bunch of Headless-es thought that all eng speaking teachers have the ability to understand the few instructions (5mins b4 class or the day b4) comprehend and then conduct the lesson with the minimal understanding. Basically that's what I had to do as an ALT. I had already anticipated a whole bunch of possible problems, be it in the execution by other eng- speaking teachers who have no idea of the eng syllabus because they teach non-core subject in pure Eng. Those are hands-on subjects like pe, home ec, art, music. Even without understanding all of the eng, can demonstrate and show. It's unlike how a language class is like. Headless took it upon herself to 'plan' the lesson. I must say based on what we saw earlier last year where the plan was in a few lines mentioning the theme, with no ws, versus what we saw this week where there's a suggested lesson flow with a ws, it's an improvement. BUT still not adequate cos there are vague instructions which leaves certain things to interpretation (having to plan and work through the interpretation IS planning) But with exception of us - the 2 ex-ALT, the other eng-speaking dont understand. They don't see what is their role in the lesson. Plus with 5 collegues in a class, it's quite zuo buo. Issues like the students might clam up, what's the point of having so many in the classroom, They also couldn't get a pay increase despite adding 4p and they were assured that they don't have to plan the lesson at all. Hence it falls to the main el teachers, 3 in a level n I am one of them. Dunno if I am officially involved in planning but as it is, I end up having to do extra already! In my level, I am slated to tske the first 2 lessons cos 2 are non-el eng speakers who have no clue, 2 are Jap who are not supposed to teach the lesson. So by elimination, it's me... Not that I didn't anticipate this outcome but fine I am going to do as minimal extra. Going to involve the rest to be facilitators for each small gp. At least everybody do something. Then I got to do up 2 extra resource that is not provided in the 'planning'. Kept it as simple as I could. Finished one yesterday. That in itself shows that there are still planning to be done. More thought need to be put into these 'plans'. That is my strong point but I won't let it be exploited easily cos of the pay. My stance is, if the lessons are prepared with ws, I would just carry out. But when one looks through the plans, there is no theme. It's like random things put together. Timing provided also not adequate. And each lesson I have to teach 4 times. This takes some getting used to. Last time I planned 3 lessons for 3 diff levels and taught 3 level, 1 class in one shot. Now is plan 1 lesson and teach 4 times in a week. On top of the normal lessons that I am doing for the last time. Same for every other eng lesson that I would have to do for the first time... I too am not happy with these extra 4 periods a week. plus having to teach as a full el teacher solo. Just a lot of preparation yet things are not clear so I've gotten extra assessment books (local) to photocopy instead of doing from scratch. what's the point of the lesson etc weren't really addressed in the first official meeting. Listen to Headless's answers led to more question marks plus dont address anything at all. Kinda lame answers too. Such that most if not everybody left wondering what the hell is going on. There were also strong disagreements with regards to the issue of having 5 collegues at a shot in the class. They would rather each take a small group instead of just being there for the sake of being there. Tell me about it. Then I would end up teaching purely own class, so how different is it from other normal classes. You tell me...
Thirdly is the actual hrs where I now have to go to the assigned form class and just stand and stand and look at them. Then get brain fried when the form teacher does daily admin, plus nag (sch rules, expectations, blah blah) I think my Jap has leveled up even more cos I can understand some of these stuff that is being said... But brain-fried is brain-fried. Then the daily schedule dont clearly mention the role of an asst co-form. I have to keep asking if have to be around. Seriously, I can read the Jap and make intelligent guess but it's really mentally taxing to do so everyday and read through the 3 pages of daily schedule... Details are in Jap, only heading has a line of English. Dont take my jap level for granted. That is not my job to translate these daily.
Another is the concern for the actual teaching. While I can try to teach but am still confused about how to teach with the 4 lessons per class per week. One is slotted for that joke form of the solo lesson I had to do last year, 2 are supposed to be for the another textbook which is pitched at local secondary 1 level English level with chunks of text. I really doubt and wonder if the students are really at that level. Also that leaves just 1 lesson a week to cover their original school tv where exams are based on. This is compared to other levels who are doing purely that textbook in 3 periods a week, plus that 1 lesson of solo. Not sure how well to balance their exams and learning of the language. The concerns of a subject teacher, which I wonder whether it should have been planned better. Tell me about it. All these falls into the planning of the syllabus which in my opinion, more thought can be put into it. That is in the perview of the mgt and Headless.
That still said, I am totally not happy with the complete change in workscope plus the asst form plus included in 1 committee for a measly paltry sum of $100. I am not alone in the thinking. So the bad end and start plus pay dissatisfaction is drawing out the negativism in me. I am trying to be positive and productive. Used the free time I have to make a couple of ws and even look for assessment books to match up to their level. Even went for gym and tried to destress. But the dissatisfaction is not easy to remove. I find this 'year' I have few reasons to be happy or looking forward to work like last year. I look even more forward to Fri and lunch time and I really find little reason to be glad or happy or smile back at other collegues.
The reason given for making me the asst form is "so that you can enjoy teaching more".... Err I cant describe how NIAO this reason is and makes us wanna roll our eyes indeed. I will enjoy myself MORE if I dont have to go for this daily form class thingy. So far my responsibilities are to head up to the class at 8.15am (which means I have to finish eating breakfast and be in school) then stand in the class and watch them do silent reading (I took a book to read too) and pull the curtains (which students dont do without explicit permission) to shield them from the glare of the morning sun as they do the reading *ya sweat drops*. Then after the rest of the Jap form and asst form finished their meeting, they come in. Greet, do class admin, collect the valuables in a bag. And I help to carry the valuable down. All the while, standing somewhere infront or at the back of the class. No extra seat... Stand and Stand. Before the end of the day, have to carry up that same bag of valuables to return. More admin, then got time, ask to say something to students. Stand and Stand.
NOW can anyone tell me, how exactly am I "enjoying myself more" This is NOT a plus point with regards to my changed job scope, its a negative. And this is NOT a perk of the job that is used to justify my lack of pay increase (perk of the job so less pay) Such strange reason given by Headless (mgt) that I really am rolling my eyes up again and again daily...
The work-year has only just started and I am already feeling very tired and have no Jing Sheng left at the end of just a day. This week of just 4 days is Excruciatingly slow and painful. I am feeling so very very negative and short on stamina to get through the day. Dont feel anything positive. Just keep looking forward to de-stressing and resting over the weekend.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Love-Hate relationship with assignment
And especially in the case of assignment. I Love the Money and Hate the Travelling and at times, the Extra Hrs and Effort put in.
I do expecially love investment cos its more fruitful. Though this year, thanks to the Nuclear issue, stocks are red, and moving around very little. Just have to wait and continue doing the Main Job. I do wish it pays more still. Who doesnt want that?
K my job is secured for the next year, at a measly increase of $100 and a change in title from ALT (assistant language teacher) to 'Teacher' which we negotiated and had to wring out from them. Otherwise it would have been still the same increased work load of a full teacher as an ALT and at $50... My pay is near to what some other collegues are getting (but that one is an untrained teacher) and another is under the IMM contract. Plus the whole Jap tsunami plus nuclear thing, their economy not gonna do well (though this whole issue of pay was way b4 the incident and then they were already projecting slow economy)
Since I've accepted, I don't intend to jump halfway during the contract. Really no promise of any pay improvement the next contract year. Can only do what I can, but not at a rate that I would burn out or stay late. For one, I am quite efficient and if the workday and even workweek can allow me to finish during work hours, I have no intention of staying extra nor bringing work home. That is a promise to myself.
There is the intention to do just enough to get by decently, not overperform. No point esp unless that can lead to a negotiation to increase pay more. There is the constant nagging on the back of my mind - that the pay-cut I took when I decided to jump out of the unbearable MOE system is something I can't make back via the Main Job. I don't like this idea.
Sure. I can always work extra, doing assignment, even invest to make back the short-fall but the real question is 'Why do I need to do that?' Why can't I make the same pay from MOE and then decide that if I want extra, then I do assignment. AND any investment is pure extra... *sigh* Guess you just cant have the cake and eat it too.
I try to remind myself of the positive of this job; I kept a list with 9 reasons on it so far. I've decided not to type in the negative aspect to compare against cos that would tilt the scales instead of help give a balanced view.
I guess its not that I need that MOE pay but the fact is I am not secured. I used it as a benchmark of sort and so far for 2 years... my Main Job will not live up to that benchmark. That is the unsettling part. Also Spore is an expensive place to live in. Even without going overboard, my unemployment days saw me spending 1k-1.5k per month despite having almost 0 income. Scary. That same amount would see me living very comfortably in Msia. Yet one cant earn that much in Msia... Retire there I guess.
When one compares, its really hard to say.
Compared to low-income, my salary is way more decent.
Compared to peers, mine is on the low side, probably lowest few.
Compared to my sisters, surprisingly based on monthly pay excluding bonus, despite the pay-cut, I am still slightly higher than both of them.
Compared to some collegues, I am quite a chunk from them (close to my pay cut figure difference)
Who am I comparing with? Who should I compare to? I think the fairest is to compare to peers and the matter of fact is that with the pay-cut and lowered bonus (1mth only) I am one of the lowest at the moment.
Excluding the extra income from extra work; assignments.
I do expecially love investment cos its more fruitful. Though this year, thanks to the Nuclear issue, stocks are red, and moving around very little. Just have to wait and continue doing the Main Job. I do wish it pays more still. Who doesnt want that?
K my job is secured for the next year, at a measly increase of $100 and a change in title from ALT (assistant language teacher) to 'Teacher' which we negotiated and had to wring out from them. Otherwise it would have been still the same increased work load of a full teacher as an ALT and at $50... My pay is near to what some other collegues are getting (but that one is an untrained teacher) and another is under the IMM contract. Plus the whole Jap tsunami plus nuclear thing, their economy not gonna do well (though this whole issue of pay was way b4 the incident and then they were already projecting slow economy)
Since I've accepted, I don't intend to jump halfway during the contract. Really no promise of any pay improvement the next contract year. Can only do what I can, but not at a rate that I would burn out or stay late. For one, I am quite efficient and if the workday and even workweek can allow me to finish during work hours, I have no intention of staying extra nor bringing work home. That is a promise to myself.
There is the intention to do just enough to get by decently, not overperform. No point esp unless that can lead to a negotiation to increase pay more. There is the constant nagging on the back of my mind - that the pay-cut I took when I decided to jump out of the unbearable MOE system is something I can't make back via the Main Job. I don't like this idea.
Sure. I can always work extra, doing assignment, even invest to make back the short-fall but the real question is 'Why do I need to do that?' Why can't I make the same pay from MOE and then decide that if I want extra, then I do assignment. AND any investment is pure extra... *sigh* Guess you just cant have the cake and eat it too.
I try to remind myself of the positive of this job; I kept a list with 9 reasons on it so far. I've decided not to type in the negative aspect to compare against cos that would tilt the scales instead of help give a balanced view.
I guess its not that I need that MOE pay but the fact is I am not secured. I used it as a benchmark of sort and so far for 2 years... my Main Job will not live up to that benchmark. That is the unsettling part. Also Spore is an expensive place to live in. Even without going overboard, my unemployment days saw me spending 1k-1.5k per month despite having almost 0 income. Scary. That same amount would see me living very comfortably in Msia. Yet one cant earn that much in Msia... Retire there I guess.
When one compares, its really hard to say.
Compared to low-income, my salary is way more decent.
Compared to peers, mine is on the low side, probably lowest few.
Compared to my sisters, surprisingly based on monthly pay excluding bonus, despite the pay-cut, I am still slightly higher than both of them.
Compared to some collegues, I am quite a chunk from them (close to my pay cut figure difference)
Who am I comparing with? Who should I compare to? I think the fairest is to compare to peers and the matter of fact is that with the pay-cut and lowered bonus (1mth only) I am one of the lowest at the moment.
Excluding the extra income from extra work; assignments.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
A day out alone
Today started off with switching off the alarm clock at 7am. No one's home. Both parents are out for medical checks, sisters at work. I lazed until my rumbling stomach dictates I better eat something. So I decided to head out. Though tonight I have assignment, still decided to head out. I need to take a pic for SG ic. Decided to be a bit more impromptu; do things on a whim. After brunch, took pic, then took mrt to Vivo. Decided to catch a movie, am now in a theatre going to watch Rio in 3D. Work extra to earn money, must enjoy too. Last movie was Gnomeo in 3D about 1.5 mths back. Sit back n relax.
Tried killing time by walking around Vivo, going to the top and waterfront to see the view. Hoped for some breeze but it's super hot and unsheltered at 1pm. Super hot and I felt I was cooked by the heat. Then found some sheltered spots but there are many many smokers. Just settled on a spot, within 5mins, two came and lit up. I moved to another spot to avoid the smoke n another to sit nearby. Really marred by the smokers. After that headed in. I must really remember to bring contacts when watching 3D. Wearing 2 pairs of glasses is not comfortable. Rio is a good movie. Quite funny, was constantly grinning n laughing. Definitely worth the $11 paid.
I came out and it was 4.20pm. I decided to walk over the completed boardwalk, just to see how it's like. There seemed to be some shops in the middle of the bridge. It's freaking hot from the strong sun shining down even at 4.30pm. Was glad for the sheltered walkway and walked until the mid point. There's a 2 pub a wine bar, a crepe shop and a frangi-pani themed accessory shop. Think it be a nice place to chill once the sun sets as there's a nice view from the middle of the bridge. But it's way way too hot during day n even late afternoon. After that decided to go back by bus. Surprising without the need to rush plus around 5, traffic is light, reached home rather quickly. Dabao yong tao fu for dinner.
Was thinking of going gym cos didn't go yesterday. Think have to make it tomorrow early afternoon instead. Then attempt a 3rd on Sat or Sun. The good news is I have lost some weight; about 2.5kg from that record weight after Zar Chai Fan plus taipei trip. Still got 2kg more to go back to 'original fat self after Moe' and 8kg to go back to 'uni-day'. It's been a battle of will and determination to make sure I don't take in extra calories through snacks n have to keep making very conscious food choices. Even eating salad. Have to keep this momentum up and not let myself go. Have to get back into shape. Giving myself 6 months. I hope to have the will n persistence to keep at it. If can drop the weight faster than 6 months, then don't have to keep at 6 mths.
As things turned out, my assignment got cancelled, so I am free. Now eating dinner, can make it in time for a late gym at 8pm. Great, if I had known earlier, can even stay out longer. Oh well. Keep things flexible.
Am I ready to start work, not really. Still have to think about how to slot in a driving lesson per week, given I failed the first one n took a long break.
Tried killing time by walking around Vivo, going to the top and waterfront to see the view. Hoped for some breeze but it's super hot and unsheltered at 1pm. Super hot and I felt I was cooked by the heat. Then found some sheltered spots but there are many many smokers. Just settled on a spot, within 5mins, two came and lit up. I moved to another spot to avoid the smoke n another to sit nearby. Really marred by the smokers. After that headed in. I must really remember to bring contacts when watching 3D. Wearing 2 pairs of glasses is not comfortable. Rio is a good movie. Quite funny, was constantly grinning n laughing. Definitely worth the $11 paid.
I came out and it was 4.20pm. I decided to walk over the completed boardwalk, just to see how it's like. There seemed to be some shops in the middle of the bridge. It's freaking hot from the strong sun shining down even at 4.30pm. Was glad for the sheltered walkway and walked until the mid point. There's a 2 pub a wine bar, a crepe shop and a frangi-pani themed accessory shop. Think it be a nice place to chill once the sun sets as there's a nice view from the middle of the bridge. But it's way way too hot during day n even late afternoon. After that decided to go back by bus. Surprising without the need to rush plus around 5, traffic is light, reached home rather quickly. Dabao yong tao fu for dinner.
Was thinking of going gym cos didn't go yesterday. Think have to make it tomorrow early afternoon instead. Then attempt a 3rd on Sat or Sun. The good news is I have lost some weight; about 2.5kg from that record weight after Zar Chai Fan plus taipei trip. Still got 2kg more to go back to 'original fat self after Moe' and 8kg to go back to 'uni-day'. It's been a battle of will and determination to make sure I don't take in extra calories through snacks n have to keep making very conscious food choices. Even eating salad. Have to keep this momentum up and not let myself go. Have to get back into shape. Giving myself 6 months. I hope to have the will n persistence to keep at it. If can drop the weight faster than 6 months, then don't have to keep at 6 mths.
As things turned out, my assignment got cancelled, so I am free. Now eating dinner, can make it in time for a late gym at 8pm. Great, if I had known earlier, can even stay out longer. Oh well. Keep things flexible.
Am I ready to start work, not really. Still have to think about how to slot in a driving lesson per week, given I failed the first one n took a long break.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Melody Improvisation n my suckiness
K I have learnt scales and there are 5 on the guitar. After months of struggling and trying to wrap my mind around sone music theory, I know some. But it's not enough for me to be able to improvise a melody out of the blue at a whim.
I don't know how to compose a tune, vary the rhythm, add fill-in and effect. Anything I tried playing sounds like just simple kiddish attempts or sound like playing scales. It's frustrating when I seem to be the only one in the class with problems... It doesn't help that I don't have any tune in my head to 'try to play out' on the guitar...
I do have to make an effort despite real difficulties. Nothing original comes to mind nor do I have a song I listened and like in my head... I picked up the electric guitar today, practice the scales cos if can't press the notes correctly, can't even play a simple melody correctly. So after that moved to trying to practice the known song's solo introd. After that I tried coming up with melody improvisation... Let's just say it's still kiddish n unoriginal. Don't know how to create a nice sounding tune. Not helping that I don't have ideas either through songs I've heard. Even Quetzal's helpful input, does not mean I can come up with something melodic.
Then there's the issue of moving and playing the tune across at least 2 scales, at least one note goes into the next scale to sound nicer... Bad enough to create a melody in a scale. How do you go about with 2, at least...
Sighs it's kinda VERY frustrating. It's still a big question mark and my mind can't seem to wrap around it. Guess I better make myself practice more and keep trying... I do find I can remember a few songs learnt from memory without having to refer to the paper. Last time can't remember even one. At least some aspects improving from before.
The remaining free-er days, I should practice daily to make sense of this 'melody improvisation' concept. Don't want to keep on sucking at it!
What is missing is the focus and diligence to keep practicing until 'Eureka' and suddenly my mind can comprehend this vague thing called Music.
I don't know how to compose a tune, vary the rhythm, add fill-in and effect. Anything I tried playing sounds like just simple kiddish attempts or sound like playing scales. It's frustrating when I seem to be the only one in the class with problems... It doesn't help that I don't have any tune in my head to 'try to play out' on the guitar...
I do have to make an effort despite real difficulties. Nothing original comes to mind nor do I have a song I listened and like in my head... I picked up the electric guitar today, practice the scales cos if can't press the notes correctly, can't even play a simple melody correctly. So after that moved to trying to practice the known song's solo introd. After that I tried coming up with melody improvisation... Let's just say it's still kiddish n unoriginal. Don't know how to create a nice sounding tune. Not helping that I don't have ideas either through songs I've heard. Even Quetzal's helpful input, does not mean I can come up with something melodic.
Then there's the issue of moving and playing the tune across at least 2 scales, at least one note goes into the next scale to sound nicer... Bad enough to create a melody in a scale. How do you go about with 2, at least...
Sighs it's kinda VERY frustrating. It's still a big question mark and my mind can't seem to wrap around it. Guess I better make myself practice more and keep trying... I do find I can remember a few songs learnt from memory without having to refer to the paper. Last time can't remember even one. At least some aspects improving from before.
The remaining free-er days, I should practice daily to make sense of this 'melody improvisation' concept. Don't want to keep on sucking at it!
What is missing is the focus and diligence to keep practicing until 'Eureka' and suddenly my mind can comprehend this vague thing called Music.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Salad and Qin Dan diet
Now I am sitting in Subway at East coast. Quetzal n Tab are jogging somewhere - part of the training for an upcoming 5.6km run soon. Me? I am eating my roasted chicken breast salad with honey mustard. Now finished the salad, drinking the coke lite.
Trying to control my intake calories cos it's not the Taipei trip I am trying to lose, it's the month of Zar Cai Fan diet plus extreme cravings, 3.5kg (k maybe I overstate a bit, still 2.5-3) So far it's a week since I flew back. I have been eating zcp porridge, rice, eat at home and this weekend, tried the subway salad. It's delicious. Really quite full with a drink. I still have to control cos my sis n I bought a whole bunch of confectionary and so I have been eating 1-2 for breakfast. Also try to reduce the portion of food taken for dinner though that resulted in me being hungry at night.
Persistence is important. So far no craving to eat fried stuff yet. Aim to go 3rd gym tomorrow. Muscles still aching from wed cos too long no exercise, esp stomach muscles. Really gotten weak.
Yesterday Quetzal was thinking of jogging in east coast in part to train, in part cos tab mentioned this char chan ting in east coast that was good. I am a tag-along, otherwise I would be stoning at home watching cable tv n sleeping, maybe practice guitar... Though I don't mind the extra sleep but not wanting to end up sleeping later n later and then be plagued by even bigger appetite.
Dunno but after the Taipei trip, the extreme bouts of craving died off. I ate rather healthily, I bought 4 packs of fruits and I ended up eating off 1 pack a day. We ate 3 meals generally n not enough stomach to eat much of the street food. So the good thing is after coming back, dont have craving for anything thus far. Even coffee was I drink on Friday cos I have to go to work.
So far so good after 1 week. I still have about 10 days to go to form a routine. Will relax and rest more cos after the whole 'contract renewal' drama, I feel mentally tired n though during the Taipei trip, I didn't think about it. But after the trip, I flew back to it, though it was 'resolved' by Monday but it did drag out long enough... Does leave an after-taste so now trying to relax before the 'real' work begins.
Guess that would entail doing things I like, going to the gym to exercise (build up energy level) and keep to this diet. I am determined to lose some weight. If only I can control the 'fickle' mouth n be this determined for 6 months...
Trying to control my intake calories cos it's not the Taipei trip I am trying to lose, it's the month of Zar Cai Fan diet plus extreme cravings, 3.5kg (k maybe I overstate a bit, still 2.5-3) So far it's a week since I flew back. I have been eating zcp porridge, rice, eat at home and this weekend, tried the subway salad. It's delicious. Really quite full with a drink. I still have to control cos my sis n I bought a whole bunch of confectionary and so I have been eating 1-2 for breakfast. Also try to reduce the portion of food taken for dinner though that resulted in me being hungry at night.
Persistence is important. So far no craving to eat fried stuff yet. Aim to go 3rd gym tomorrow. Muscles still aching from wed cos too long no exercise, esp stomach muscles. Really gotten weak.
Yesterday Quetzal was thinking of jogging in east coast in part to train, in part cos tab mentioned this char chan ting in east coast that was good. I am a tag-along, otherwise I would be stoning at home watching cable tv n sleeping, maybe practice guitar... Though I don't mind the extra sleep but not wanting to end up sleeping later n later and then be plagued by even bigger appetite.
Dunno but after the Taipei trip, the extreme bouts of craving died off. I ate rather healthily, I bought 4 packs of fruits and I ended up eating off 1 pack a day. We ate 3 meals generally n not enough stomach to eat much of the street food. So the good thing is after coming back, dont have craving for anything thus far. Even coffee was I drink on Friday cos I have to go to work.
So far so good after 1 week. I still have about 10 days to go to form a routine. Will relax and rest more cos after the whole 'contract renewal' drama, I feel mentally tired n though during the Taipei trip, I didn't think about it. But after the trip, I flew back to it, though it was 'resolved' by Monday but it did drag out long enough... Does leave an after-taste so now trying to relax before the 'real' work begins.
Guess that would entail doing things I like, going to the gym to exercise (build up energy level) and keep to this diet. I am determined to lose some weight. If only I can control the 'fickle' mouth n be this determined for 6 months...
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