232.4% over-calories!!! :$@!

Record-breaking over-calories of 232.4% of my daily limit aka almost 4000 calories... as of the 30th of Dec...

Man, no chance to off-set this anytime soon. Need very very disciplined eating for the next 3 weeks or a month to balance it off. My target is to clear this before my birthday. That'll give me about 3.5 weeks to clear it off diet-style, of course I'll up my exercise but I don't count the calories burnt from exercising.

Now is super-full from the wedding dinner and waiting for 2hrs to be up so that I can drink my Chinese meds cos I drank tea.

As expected, my weight increased by 1kg from all these festive and celebratory eating... So hard to lose a kilo yet so easy to gain one instead. That meant I now have 3.8kg more to lose.

My 6 belt buckles still okay but it feels a bit tight if I ate. Time to do those stomach exercises...

Next week I have to start going twice for Krav Maga. Think has to be Wed n either Thur or Fri. Then got to squeeze in dental and also hair-cut. Plus more sessions of working out at home.

1 week into the hols

It's exactly one week into the holiday, what have I done?

- Tidied my table, almost done
- had a Christmas party
- watched a long movie I didn't enjoy
- went for 1 KM lesson
- went out once to town on my own
- did 3-4 conditioning workout at home

The rest, is sleep, stone, watch tv and looking at I-phone. Not very productive. But when u wake up at some insanely early time eg 6am, 7am during the holidays and then having to try to go back to sleep, catching up on sleep is kinda understandable. Plus many days were rainy, headed out on that sole sunny day.

Not that I didn't have things planned to do, but when you are on a restrictive diet, there goes the plans to eat some good food, which all falls into the categories I shouldn't be eating. Sigh...

Then to add oil to the fire, severe severe over-calories that meant I had to really really make tough choices at times to squeeze out some deficit. Like today, my Jap bento dinner plus a few stuff I ate at home, a moment of weakness, gave me over-calories instead of a deficit that I was on my way to after lunch... So kinda getting difficult cos with my reduced weight, my daily calories also dropped, which meant I had little to spare.

Hmm kinda hard on the diet part but can't give in, cos all the "never-minds" will add up. Just like one Christmas can be 169% over-calories. That translates to a couple of months of dieting deficit.!!! So really must be mindful.

The road onward is tough. Have to work on it, adapting and thinking of strategies. One would be to up the exercise workout much more, go KM more. Just try as best to stick to my diet n slowly build up the deficits from scratch... Also wean off certain food that is not good for my stomach on a permanent basis...

Over-calories, continue Restrictions

Obviously after Christmas n my end-of-the-work-plus-world bingeing, when I went to see the sinseh for the follow-up, my condition wasn't as great as last week. But she could understand cos the Christmas and Year end celebration. I told her, I'll try to cut n keep to those restrictions as best as I could.

So since Christmas, I've been monitoring my food and making very very conscious decisions about what I eat. Really tough cos there's lots of nice food n I can't eat them. Also to do damage-control for the severe severe 169% over-calories for Christmas itself, on top of my 86% surplus then... A lot of reining-in to do, think if I can clear the surplus by the time my work starts, it'll be good.

I did do more exercise that few days before and just did one today. Nothing too taxing, just dips 5 sets, sit-ups and leg-lifts 2 sets each. Tomorrow is Krav Maga, that workout can help me jump-start the post-Christmas exercise in a quick n efficient manner.

The weather was nice and non-rainy, so I headed out. To Orchard via bus to buy the roasted wheat jap tea, good for my diet cos my taste buds are kinda sian of plain water. Plus it's healthy, has a strong taste so my taste buds are satisfied after drinking it, won't feel that it's plain and wanna drink a diet soft drink or even the A&W cream soda. The taste can quell the need to munch. Also it's not made from tea leaves but is entirely roasted wheat, so it's alright for me to drink it shortly after my Chinese meds.

Walked around Taka, Paragon and 313, mainly checking out the supermarkets, I came to realize that you can't find Reese's so easily... I wanted to get some Dark ones but ended up with a box of organic candy canes that was on steep discount. Ate 1, it was good, 60 calories only for an entire cane. Didn't get my 'Dark' side, so I headed home.

Today's breakfast was Bran biscuit with room-temp A&W cream soda. Lunch was Zcp with warm kopi-o, Dinner was Ban Mian. Calories is just balanced, no deficit achieved. Remembered to eat my Chinese meds timely. Hope can sustain until next week. One day at a time.

Hungry n driving me nuts at night

I think I shall refrain from eating porridge at night for dinner instead. For lunch is okay. At most eat again later on in the afternoon.

But at night, it's crazy... Imagine I ate at 6pm, by 8pm I am getting the munchies. Ate a few Jap snacks. Then by midnight, all I am thinking of is food cos the hunger pangs came on. I could literally feel my stomach growling n protesting in hunger.

Partly this is a sign of my improved condition, aka appetite is getting better, feel hungry.

It's a nuisance, cos here I am trying to sleep but all I am thinking of is how long since I've had a BK Whopper, how juicy it is, how nice to have a large bite into one and chew it slowly... Argh

Last night I had something similar and it was about KFC instead. The common denominator is I had porridge for dinner. I managed to sleep last night, woke up and forgot about it cos I didn't rush to the nearest KFC n stuff my face with fried chicken.

In fact I ate pretty healthy stuff today until after dinner when the munchies came. Just managed 100 calorie deficit cause of the snacking. Otherwise it would have been 220 calories deficit.

Just made myself drink a pack of milk to quell the hunger pangs, now stomach has something more food-like, felt better, all thoughts of that burger just disappeared... Don't feel like munching so bad. Now finally sleep can come.

Man this is tough, I'm not sure if this is brought on solely by the better appetitive, I believe the restricted diet is a cause too. Eating porridge is also not long-lasting in terms of keeping hunger at bay. Usually after a few hours, hungry and have I eat again.

So just in case I wake up tomorrow and forgot about this, this entry is to remind myself to only eat porridge for lunch. Dinner has to be rice at least.

Last few days of 闭关节制

Hmm as of last night, I have over-calories of 108%, with Christmas just round the corner, plus not exactly following my sinseh's instructions eg ate some spicy, raw food, I have just 2 more days to make a difference.

It meant yesterday, I stayed home, ate porridge n plainer zcp. Did a conditioning workout. So managed a deficit of 20% but with still another 108%, just 2 days more, plus munchies, I'll count myself lucky if I could do a 12% deficit. Will try to do another 2 workout today n tomorrow.

Today I didn't start off well. Ate mee siam which is spicy, a no-no. Lunch was Lor Bee Hoon, large cos my dad went out for a 'walk' and dabao-ed a bunch of food.

I just cooked a small pot of porridge with the intention to eat with a can of 菜心, hope my mouth won't protest and start looking for stuff. The rainy, dull weather isn't helping. So gloomy until one might eat out of boredom. Trying to resist.

Haven't done my workout yet, dozing off out of boredom in between meals and I munched some rice cracker and dried vegetables in between, so kinda hard when I stick to the minimum of exercise after at least 2hrs after food. Drinking tea also meant I have to do a 2hr after before I drink the Chinese medicine, which is something I have to keep reminding myself to do.

Plans wise, nothing else planned. I was so tired yesterday, dozed on and off after meals. Looked at myself in the mirror, looked quite pale. Today looked better. Think my belt cannot hit 7 holes with the amount of binge-eating especially over the last few days. Still at 6 holes, phew. Will aim to work it off by the end of Dec, especially after Christmas.

I am about to make the commitment to put myself down for 6 months of Krav Maga with the routine of going at least 2 times per week and even reach 3 times if I could manage. Man, the muscle-aches would be unimaginable for the first few times until the body gets used to that. Luckily I am on holidays. One more lesson before I commit to that. Well then I can reduce my own conditioning n KB workout at home to just once a week.

Nothing much else on the horizon, have to read some books, practice the guitar, look at stocks, tidy my table and room, besides the usual of exercising, going out, watch some movies, try baking cinnamon rolls, and eat some stuff. But those can wait until at least after Christmas. Need to rest up. At least my New Year Resolutions are done.

Diet restrictions continues and Surprising revelations

First off, my cravings are going through the roof this week. I have been eating Fried chicken cutlet, fries, bee hoon goreng, Astons n some ice tea... on some days this week.

Ironical my weekly follow-up yesterday, my sinseh said my condition has improved the greatest of all the times I had seen her. But that meant I had to keep up with this no 酸，甜，辣，生，冷，寒，硬 plus no milk, banana n most fruits... Until my condition had permanently recovered!!!!

I dunno when that will be, it's not in the near horizon but man, just 2 weeks n cravings are going wild. Imagine doing this for months... a year *OMFG*

The raving cravings are not helping me diet-wise. Imagine going severely over-calories a few times and more often meant I would put on weight cos my calories don't balance out from eating which is going hay-wire.

Trying to make back some extra from extra exercise. Going to do more than my 3 times (1 Krav, 2 conditioning) Very slim hope of balancing my severe surplus before Christmas.
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Had a dinner with colleagues, it's the one for the level, for the end of the term. Because I have been skipping a few, I decided to go for this one after knowing where we r going to. It's a restaurant I've been before, and I don't drink so usually I pay $30. Fair enough.

So I lugged my guitar and my foodstuff from workplace home for the coming holidays. Bathed and actually dozed off in a deep sleep. I set my alarm clock and woke up, changed then headed out. Reached on time.

I sat next to the male wall and he's chatty so we conversed in English about stuff, he helped translate stuff to me too. I ate the food and try to engage in some conversation. They try to include me as best, so I return the favor by talking more.

One surprising thing I found out is that chatty class (not the entire class but the large group) of mine are only so during my class, for other subjects that my colleagues teach, super-quiet. Says their main form, the other Wall. I was very surprised. I assumed they would be the same in other classes. But then my class is a group of them, not in the entire class setting. Then again, during the combined communication lesson, they do show that side to me, too. So I guess it's the comfort level. Outside the class when I see them sometimes at the corridor.

Guess its refreshing to have a diff teacher with diff style from the usual. Plus they enjoy seeing my reaction n facial expression when they purposely do something wrong/funny... Compared to my usual expressionless n tired face.

I did tell them about some other cheeky boys greeting me as "Boss" every time try see me... They tell me that I am popular among students.

Funny thing is I dunno why. I don't really talk much with students enough to know about their lives n their background. Don't smile much to them outside of my own class-time. But I do encourage them to raise their hands to ask me whenever they are not sure. I will attend to them all quickly. They have my attention regardless of their ability, as long as they ask. I try to explain in as simple a manner as I can. That's all. I must admit, I am a more lively person during lesson and once outside, I'm back to my sleepy, tired and lone-wolf self. I try to make each lesson interesting by being expressive n positive n include outside the textbook related points to explain. It makes things more worldly and informative and more connected to real-life. Also put in lots of time and effort to make the activities from scratch to target certain skills lacking. I still haven't covered them all... Hard pressed to slot into lesson timing with the textbook in the way... Have to think more about it.

For now R&R is in order. When I am recharged and refreshed, my perspective is sharp n inspiration hits me. Ideas spring to my head easily. Less effort n more efficient.

Got to iron clothes tomorrow.

Tomorrow can celebrate end of work n also End of the World.

Cravings went crazy, munchies really bad

On Sat, my calories were in track to be just OK. But by 11pm, I was hungry. Cooked a pack of Instant noodles - Myjo Garlic Chicken with egg n leftover pork balls. Also took out my Brothers Toffee Apple Cider and drank it after my 'supper' so that meant super over-calories.

Woke up on Sunday, ate 卤米粉 large for breakfast, ate rice with soup for lunch but dunno why I ended up eating an entire pack of Calabee Potato chips. Really having very bad munchies. That adds 450 calories to an already severe over-calories, brought forward from the night before. Dinner was mainly porridge with some of mom's dishes but the damage was done...

In just 1 day, I overshot by 70.5%, which is kinda a bummer cos that meant I had to go on low-calories for at least a week plus to make back and it's just 7 more days til Christmas. OMG... That would be another round of dieting after that...

Kinda to reduce the guilt, I did a conditioning workout but without KettleBell on Sunday. Then Mon, decided to do another workout - KettleBell, dips and stomach. Tue is another Krav Maga class cum workout. I don't count the calories burnt off from exercise. They are the extra.

My basic premise is that my food intake calories should balance itself off after some days of plainer food. The plainer food sacrifice is to remind myself not to over-indulge too much. At least not until no matter how plain I eat, can't balance after some time. That's another trick I have developed.

But today I had fulfilled my craving for Aatons for dinner. Had my double-up chicken, Fried cutlet, other is Hickory BBQ chicken with garden veg and homemade salad. Had Coke Zero. Calories for today just about balanced but I did go and do a workout later on, to try to off-set the feeling.

Had initially wanted to go to HV but it started drizzling, change of plans to just settle my own dinner. I am tempted to go to Nam Nam on Fri if I am able to leave earlier. Think maybe can cos its the last day of the term. Bring my stuff home then chuck and go out makan Nam Nam. I think of the sandwich n the noodles.
Wanna eat both...

FYI if Fri is the end-of-the-world, then it'll be so sad, pia so hard to reach the last day of the term, only to have everything end on that day too. Well at least you're not alone, everybody dies together, then we'll find out like SouthPark movie, which one got the after-life part correct.

Cravings are really going crazy, I am thinking many thoughts of food. Want to eat them all... Jia lat, can't go too crazy or later the sinseh would ask me to refrain and my weight would balloon. No... Ally efforts but its really hard to give up so much at a go, at once. Plain food is ok up til a certain time before the craving rears its ugly head and a whole over-eating occurs. Have to gradually get used to this. So sad...

The cravings n the very-full satisfied feeling

In my last visit to the sinseh, just before I came down with stomach flu, last week, I was advised not to eat 生，冷，酸，甜，辣，硬 which somehow greatly limits my diet to porridge and soupy stuff. Things like milk, banana, green tea, cool types of fruits eg watermelon are also out. So I asked what can I eat? Porridge with say fish slices, pickled veg and try to eat a bit more yolk. Man, that's a big limit...

So mostly I've stuck to the plainer diet especially for lunch at work. I would dabao porridge from those zcp stall with a fried egg/steamed egg and plainer meat. Buy one can of pickled cucumber from the provision shop and eat them. Sometimes I dabao that for dinner. There were a few nights I cooked Instant noodles with egg for dinner. Myjo's Garlic Chicken flavor tastes good as soup noodles instead of dry. My favorite Curry flavor is out. Sometimes I eat rice but eat simpler stuff too.

Then Tab was away and the rest didn't meet up. So I had no excuse to eat out much. Just dabao Yong Tau Foo soup for dinner. Then this week when I saw the sinseh for the weekly follow-up, my condition had improved but still need to maintain it...

But when Tab flew back, that night before she arrived, I was munching on a fried Taiwan style 鸡扒, ate a few pieces with the batter on, bliss. Then for the rest, peeled off the batter and just eat the lean chicken instead. That was my lunch cos I didn't have time for lunch and just ate a few peanuts. We ate pasta and I had my soup, Hokkaido pasta upsized. Felt satisfied. That was Tuesday.

Thursday after Krav Maga, I had a localized style jap bento, with salmon and stir-fried beef. It's not high quality but I am happy with warm food. My canned drinks are mostly lukewarm and diet versions. Was telling Tab I am having craving for Nasi Bryani of all things but felt better after dinner.

Friday, I arrived earlier at CityHall earlier. Due to my porridge lunch, I wasn't sure if I could last until dinner time, 7pm plus everyone can't be earlier. So I went to buy the Best Fries Forever, Large with extra sauce. Its my first time buying a Large one. I got the Gusto Garlic and the Ole Ole Creamy Salsa sauce. Found a seat near the standing tables. Put them on the seat beside me and started eating. It's really nice to have 2 different sauces cos when u are kinda sick of eating one, u change to the other and experience a diff taste altogether. Happily munched 3/4 of it. Quet came and finished up the rest. We went to look at Nam Nam, but it had a rather long queue.

Quiet suggested Menya Musashi, we walked there, no queue n headed in. I ordered the Tsukenmen only because I get upsize the noodles, til a max of 5 times. I went for 2 times cos despite the fries in my stomach, I was still kinda hungry. Ate the 2 times and finished all the soup. Maybe if I am really empty, can try 3 times. Had the white-based soup this time, it's lighter than the black. Really satisfied with a full belly. It's a sort of a simple bliss. Taste-wise also satisfied.

But I went back earlier cos I was nursing a sore knee-cap since last night. Didn't want to overtax it but I had to climb up and down stairs at work, walk out to buy lunch and also walk over to Clementi central to take the mrt. The mrt ride kinda aggravated it with the jerking movement of starting and stopping. Took a long bus ride home but sat throughout.

It's been a while since I have been so satisfied. As in eat until very full. Not a common occurrence nowadays with my diet, calorie-counting and now restricted diet. It came as no surprise that I could buckle an extra hole in my usual belt easily. It started with 4, then 6 now 7. Well that's the only plus of this restricted diet.

Last night was over-calories, today is pay-back. Plan to do a workout later on. Morning ate my卤米粉 large, then lunch is porridge with 菜心 mainly, ate some dishes my mom cooked. Had 2 Halloween peanut and caramel choc eyeballs. With a diet 7-up, plain water. That's 1083 calories. My max is 1690 calories. Dinner, planned to eat more porridge or small bowl rice with 菜心 and some of the dishes my mom cook for dinner.

Kinda of a lazy day cos of the weather. Will rest myself, knee cap and try to do a workout.

霸工 then A Sweet Gesture

Today I was kinda sian. Feeling the fatigue and mainly due to the 'Party' fiasco n then followed by the 'Candy' hoo-ha, I was literally drained of my inspiration and motivation.

Such that today being such a light day, due to a swap, I end up with just 1 lesson for the day. Of course I don't show negativity during the lesson but outside of it, I was sian.

Usually I would be working through any free periods I have, clearly work-on-hand, thinking about lessons, preparing lessons in advance or making worksheet and activity materials. ALL came to a stand-still today. I utterly refused to do anything remotely productive. Instead I was listening to guitar riffs and looking for guitar tabs and amending some that I wanted to try to play. Managed to tab 2 songs I wanted to learn without having to pay for the subscription...

I was asked to be on a panel of judge for a speech contest. 7 out of 8 were my former students from last year. I listened hard and tried to be fair in scoring them. I thought I was overly generous but the final results after tallying among the judges was exactly the order I had scored them. So I wasn't thinking too differently from them. I tried very hard to be unbiased.

As this contest was going on, my level was having some sort of a class party, which I wasnt really aware of. Went up to class for the dismissal part and was presented with 2 slices of cake with lots of rainbow sprinkles n choc chips sprinkled and half a bar of Meiji chocolate with a message written behind it using white chocolate. It's made by a group of about 5-6 girls. They baked for the whole class yesterday during cca timing. Went to thank those girls face-to-face.

Didn't eat it then, no time and still had to help to discipline... I did ask for 1 min to explain to the class that I was down for judging duties for the speech competition. Also thank them for remembering me n giving me the cake, plus hope they had enjoyed their party.

Carried the cake downstairs to the envy of another class which didn't prepare food. It's kinda not standardized. What about the 'fair' aspect? Whatever...

I was touched by the simple message on the chocolate bar and the gesture. So those candy weren't bought yet cos the two Walls were slow-footing. I decided then if they cancel or call it off, I AM buying candy for my form class since there's no issue.

After cca, I ate the cake n chocolate. It was extremely SWEET, on many levels. The plain cake was sweet, the rainbow sprinkles and choc chips were sweet, and the half bar of milk chocolate was sweet. sugar over-dose. But it's one of those times where I eat it without complaint.

I waited and stayed back a bit to catch the two Walls to ask a final time about the final verdict from the other levels and them. In the end, only my level is doing. So I told them I would buy for the level cos I live nearby. I went to see the sinseh for the weekly follow-up first.

Went to the supermarket and chose the candy, carefully, no broken canes. Asked the cashier to be gentle too. Then I was considering to bring home or make another trip to the workplace. In the end, I decided to make the trip cos if I had to bring tomorrow, many pairs of eyes. By then it was almost 7pm, no unnecessary pairs of eyes to see. So I carefully lugged on the bus and walked to the workplace. It was drizzling a bit but I didn't have my umbrella. Just walk in the drizzle. Reached, passed over to the two Walls who seemed happy about it. They store it away in a cupboard and I headed home. Grabbed my jacket to use as a raincoat. My part is done for now. Now only need to distribute and claim back my $$$. Don't get me wrong, I was willing to pay but not for everyone. Plus it was so much less hassle if its just my own biz - money.

Never-mind, will think about it Tom. That "hard" part is over for now. It's been a grueling 2-3 weeks of vague answers, inaction, no follow-ups, hoo-ha, frustration n irritation. Tell me about it but the sweet gesture somehow made it seem worth it. Though I don't think everyone deserved to get the candy, but bo bian at least the deserving ones do get it.

A continuation of the Wall episode, unexpected twists n turns

I went to ask the Head regarding the gifting of some candy to my students last Friday. He told me he will check with the other 2 Heads of the other levels. (Inside I'm like WTF?!? Can't u decide?)

Because time is running short. Need time to buy and also find time with students due to time-table changes again, so when today he didn't get back to me. I asked again.

Created a sort of a big hoo-ha... He went to ask the other two Heads of other levels and asked back the two Walls... Initial reply to me was if I gave to my sub-form class is okay but not to my own students whereas my main intent was to give to my students and maybe then sub. Went off to ask again.

Kinda irritated then cos the last time talked with double Walls, they left the decision to me if I just gave them a candy, and not have a class party. Now they are being consulted and they come back to me with the same argument about fairness...

When they asked me after dismissal to discuss about the issue, I had already given up in my mind. My students in the class just before dismissal heard my loud sighs. It's not cos of them, I assured.

Basically I told them it was a local thingy, a sort of appreciation, which we don't mind paying cos it's just once a year. I told them since its causing so much hoo-ha, I won't do it then.

Surprisingly now they wanted to do it, just that they want to do it fairly. As in all the levels in the subject do it, all the classes do it, not just a selected group. I told them they should not be obliged cos it's not their way. But now they want to do it... Just that instead of buying just for my own students (small volume), I potentially had to go buy for the entire school... Using work budget... If they could decide on the size and quantity of the candy though... That's another thing.

Whatever. Like as if the initial fuss about combining the classes didn't create more work for me, then I searched for activities, passed them 2, then ask for permission also so much hassle, now gotta buy mass quantity...

Ya u tell me this now, with just so little time to spare. I told them I am not going to do any parties cos there's no time to prepare much. Will end off with the single candy though. Now they want to do their own party with their own student. I did provide them with a couple of materials... Ironical?

So I reminded them both that there wasn't much time left. Need to go and buy it maybe tomorrow. Have to go with the Wall. Hope she can make up her mind about the size of the candy. Cos some would be leaving earlier before the term closes, I told them straight out, last year when I did it. It was a series of steps and things, with rules and explanations, not so last minute.

Really at this point, I've reached the point of 'Whatever'

A few days of 吃草 & boredom

Wed evening tio stomach flu.

Thur - I went to work for half day, left later cos no lesson to see doc n got an mc for thur itself. Ate plainer zcp with porridge instead n 菜心. Later cooked instant noodles with egg.

Fri - Back to work, with the meds didn't run to toilet. Dabao plainer zcp with porridge for lunch. Drank an isotonic drink, Aquarius. Dinner was Yong Tau Foo soup after Krav Maga class.

Sat - More zcp porridge n 菜心 for lunch and dinner was Instant noodles with egg.

Today - Ate Lor Kway Tiao breakfast, milo drink, pork bun for lunch and Yong Tau Foo soup with half bowl rice.

All these while drinking plain water and plain Chinese tea mainly.

Tomorrow I am packing a bottle of 菜心 to work. Eat with porridge...

Very plain diet...

Appetite is okay but stomach rumbling, but no diarrhea. Mouth wanna eat stuff but I know my stomach can't take it. Not an interesting stage to be at. Like it wasn't boring enough to have a stay-in weekend, my food is also boring... Doubly feeling it.

Man, I've kinda noticed that plainer food is not that easy to find in sg hawkers. U are reduced to soup, noodles, porridge...

Today decided to go to Holland Village, though it rained. Bought a new bunch of alcohol, 9 ciders n a beer. Average out to $7.50 per bottle. Again the challenge was to get them home safely. Used my drinks bag. Also renewed my book loan in Clementi Mall then dabao my Yong Tau Foo soup dinner. Not sure if I'll be well enough to drink, but just put a bottle in the chiller.

Feeling the boredom still, later think I will go and do some stomach crunches despite still nursing some muscle-aches from Krav Maga in Fri. At least the stomach exercises can help to build up more muscles around my tummy. Hopefully flatten it.

Sometimes when I am not up for a full work-out, I just do dips. It's to train the triceps. I can do up to 5 sets of 30 dips, but think I should go strengthen my core (stomach and back) cos while the tummy is flattening out from the weight loss, it's not toned from the lack of training. Think I shall learn to alternate between the pure dips and pure stomach exercises, exercise both tough areas to train and also break the monotony.

Unwell... Condition is ... too

Though I was feeling a bit under the weather 2 days back, headache from the wet humid weather, sinus hurt. I was still bravely wading on despite the slew of flu n influenza going round.

Bad habit of some co-workers who persist in coming but wear masks only. So in air-con environment, help to transmit virus to healthy people...

Up til yesterday after work, I was still fine. Then I went home to change, had to go see the sinseh for follow-up. I was planning to go Holland Village to buy some alcohol. Then it struck. Had stomachache b4 I left home. While waiting for my turn, I felt it got worse. Was afraid I would shit my pants. Felt the rumbles. After seeing the sinseh, just next door to my place, I decided to go home.

Sure enough that evening, I had ran to the toilet about 8 times. This morning, I seemed to be well until it re-started a bit. Ate Poh Chee pills and it stabilized my condition. I had 2 lessons to get through, another 2 later in the afternoon were cancelled cos the classes were quarantined.

When I reached my workplace, I grabbed a mask and put it on. It's not like me to do so but I don't want to spread diarrhea-causing virus to students. One of the lesson, I had to have close contact with students, more so I better shield them.

Luckily nothing happened. But in the 2 hrs between both of my classes, I was too mentally not able to focus cos also had a budding headache discomfort. I didn't want to stay in the air-conditioned staff room, so I grabbed my guitar and went to my room, just practice with the windows open with minimal air-con. At least my body can do something while my brain rests. Time seem to move on quickly and it was time for the other lesson.

I had to lead cos the leading one had a last-min time table change so he had 2 classes at the same time. So I was activated as the main. That class was well-disciplined and half of them are my own students. Had no problem with them, though they were the cheeky bunch. They could keep to task.

Once lesson was over, I went to ask for permission to go back earlier n see the doctor. Couldn't reach in time for the morning time. Had to get a number and go back for the afternoon slot. Later waiting, stomach acted up again. i counted about 6 times running to the toilet today. Got meds for my stomach n headache. For mc for today itself.

I was still hoping to go to work cos it's greatly inconvenient, I would lose the periods if I wasn't around.

Also I wanna go for Krav Maga as planned. Hope to recover by tomorrow. Though tomorrow is slightly heavier, it's Friday.

But my stomach can't stomach much. Need to eat very plain food. The sinseh also told me to eat very plain food, cos apparently my lack of control of eating cold stuff, raw, spicy etc brought my condition back to where it was...

No 冷，生，辣，硬，酸，甜. Think I can eat grass, drink plain water n 做仙.

The Unenlightened ways of one is getting to me

To preserve anonymity, I shall reveal as little details as I can about this particular co-worker.

Irks me greatly with the stubborn way of thinking. This is the 2nd time I am encountering the Wall and it proved unmovable, inflexible, closed-minded, narrow and obviously stubborn.

For the sake of being positive, I shall not reveal or immortalize the details. But just the outline.

First incident involved the deadline for submission. Basic story is we had diff deadline, Wall is not happy. I tried to reason but after 45mins, no reason of mine got through, though I took the effort to understand the other side. Btw the reasons weren't convincing at all but I had to relent. I did explain to students and they agreed with me instead... *sigh*

The second incident is involving having a small class party of sort due to the coming festivity in Dec. The answer was if I wanted to, I had to do for their entire class not just my students. WTF? So I thought about some stuff to possibly do but it wasn't enough to fill the time. I asked a second time if it was a go ahead, similar answer.

Then last straw is today where due to not having enough periods cos of some happening, I asked if it was still a go or just forget it. The answer I got was somewhere like If I want to do with my students, then have to do with the combined class but if I don't do it, then don't have to combine class for that. Can do our separate stuff. WTF?!?

So I straight out ask if I could still get them something without the party. That one, I had to ask the Head. If its okay, they have no problem with that.

Ok, I'll use the extra periods to do some of the stuff I really wanted them to do but didn't have any extra periods and end off with a small token for them. It's really like making a HUGE mountain out of a mole-hill, there's no issue.

It's just that they don't want their students to say that they didn't do a party whereas I did. Can't they sweep it under the blanket of cultural difference?

I had no issue with more enlightened co-workers last year so that made me think highly of them.

But this year, hitting all these brick walls made me rethink my perspective and understanding of them. Not as enlightened as I had thought. And obviously rigid, keep touting on the 'fairness' of things where there is no issue cos I am paying for it, taking the effort n initiative. I can't say the same of them but obviously not fair at all.

How do u inspire an interest when everything is so status-quo, so afraid of anything outside the supposed norm, not putting in the effort, time to do stuff...

Deprived... later contented

Woken up by my stomach again and it's only 6am on a Saturday!!! Wat De Fark!!! Of course by now I am wide awake and thinking about how to go back to sleep which is near impossible, so find things to do. Guess blogging is one that is less physically exerting.

Yesterday had another sort of Clark Kent day... I decided to wear contacts cos I would head out by myself. By then feeling quite deprived cos the week felt so bloody long, thought Tab was flying off. Quetzal had to stay home to study. Was undecided between movie or shopping. But a decent meal was on the agenda.

I wore a long-sleeved v-neck black top I had just bought. With my usual greenish-brown long khaki pants and black sport shoes. Needed to belt up, now can reach the 6th hole (last time was 3rd - 4th) That's the obvious weight loss part to me. Quite like 'the look' created but hope it didn't inspire some to ask if I came from the Army...

Been trying to make back the calorie-surplus n though its still positive, my weight has gone down slightly more than before the surplus. Around 3.7kg more to go.

Had been going to work much earlier to catch students to finish off some stuff, needed for grades. Feeling the fatigue more than before. Trying hard not to come down with something... Been fighting off some cough with mucus. My mom asked for help to carry heavy stuff to the temple. We took a cab over then I walked over to the workplace. Despite drinking a coffee, I wasn't awake fully. While waiting, I was slouched over the table much like a student... Guess we aren't that different.

I had a period of lesson added, then have to be around for a period with form class, that meant my periods doubled from 2 to 4, my plans for a leisurely lunch outside is thwarted. Had a similar lesson with that same class I went to last Friday. Few of my own students needed much help. I helped out with the editing of their draft after they're done. Decided to sit down on an extra chair, within moments I wasn't alone. My chatty student came over and asked for help... Had to help decipher her scribbles, correct her grammar and form some sentences. Had an 'interesting' short conversation before I got up and walked around some more. I had to see the class again later due to the extra lesson added. I think this group "enjoys" my class a little too much. I feel like I am the source of entertainment for them. Its amusing but that leaves me feeling more drained...

Had another class later and it was relatively more peaceful and normal. Then my dabao chicken rice with liver and oyster sauce chye sim I couldn't finish off. Ate what I could, half pack rice, all the meat, some slices of the chye sim and chucked the rest. Rested as much as I could mentally before my next class which was the bunch.

I decided to swap one part with listening out for lyrics to break the afternoon, after-lunch monotony. Lesson was interesting. I used some funny examples to explain the words. Got through the main part. One asked me why I swapped the activity while I told them. My reason was its a Friday plus this is an extra lesson for me. He asked if that can be considered a reason. I replied yes, much to their amusement. Another later asked where my best friend was, cos I had a quick mention n show of the muscle cream I used the previous lesson cos I was still suffering muscle aches up til Friday itself. My reply was that it was downstairs, thanks for ur concern cos I was still having muscle aches. Two can play at the game.

Everyone perked up when the music played for the listening to lyrics activity. Me included, cos it really helped break the monotony. Ended with that. In the newly burnt CD, I had included Gangham style, so the boys played that and were galloping before they headed back.

Locked up, headed down to pick up the camera to be camera woman for the class thingy. Organized by students and carried out but discipline among the boys is appalling. I just took pics of the students, including the local ones. The rookie form is doing nothing about the misbehaving rowdy boys despite me pointing out to him. Fine, roll-eyes then take pics.

Later the head of the level came and I mentioned to him about the boys misbehaving. I didn't know he was here to assist in the before-dismissal 15mins. Apparently the form had to leave to attend to the refreshment at another venue. He was in charge of the event. The head led in the dismissal and scolded that particular trouble-maker infront of the class. By now, it will just make it easier for one day but surely no lasting effect. If there isn't consistency n escalating of tone, threats n punishment, there is no repercussion. So that's why that rookie dig his own grave, keep using the same tone to say the same thing. Class discipline is really laxed. Continue to roll eyes daily. I am trying not to raise my voice daily. I am using non-verbal signals to cue some to be quiet, including stare, walk over. I think those are easier on my throat. Need not have an even deeper and sexier voice than I do now.

Glad that Tab hadn't flew off yet. Took a scenic bus route n listened to music, glad the weekend is finally here. Met to eat dinner at SoupSpoon. So comforting to have warm food which I can eat leisurely. Told each other about our 'interesting' day. Later FH came and we went shopping for turkeys. Helped carry to the car n got a ride home. After bathing I was lights-out. Mentally knocked out.