sun-allergy nose & dog attack

In a span of 2 weeks, I have suffered immensely.

One week, on a Wed, I headed out to buy lunch around 9.15am, with cloudy skies,  no sign of the sun and it even drizzled slightly. Thinking it was safe enough,  I didnt use an umbrella. So I came back by 9.30am plus in the same drizzly weather. By noon, my nose felt a bit burning. I had to supervise cleaning dutt and when I touched my nose, felt sore n got pus. OMG, not that pus-ey nose episode nightmare from last year. It wad to be exactly that. There wad no ointment from the nurseroom, I got a cold pack against my red nose that was starting to burn and all the pores were turning inflamed.  Emergency permission to go out again, with umbrella to go to the pharmacy to buy acne cream. It closed down... luckily bought an Oxy from the supermarket.  Put generously and went for classes. The burning abated until I reached hone and it resumed. Overnight burning sensation n I woke up to a pus-filled pimpley nose. It was as bad as the episode from last year. So put on tinted pimple cream and again had to endure stares. I mean stares. But u know me, I pre-empt their questions by mentioning what happened and told them if they wanna stare,  go ahead, at least u know why answer so don't ask me. Again being a confident and bochap person, if ya stare at me, I'll look back at the person and they are culutrally inclined to look away first...

So I endured 2 days of tinted nose. I did pop in to see the docs after there was a mis-com in KM, which saw me skipping the basic class cos work popped up and when I reached for the adv class,  it was cancelled cos lack of numbers. Didnt sms me. I reached there only to travel back. Since it was before nine. I went to the clinic. It is confirmed to be sun-allergy. Given steroid cream.

Just recovered from it and the next week following that, I got atk by a muzzled doberman dog. Basically I went out to buy lunch. I saw this chinese woman with a muzzled doberman.  She was struggling to pull it. A man in front of me walked passed safely. I decided to give it a wider berth along the footpath. Next thing I know, it lunged at my left forearm and obviously tried to bite cos I was left with lots of dog saliva, reddness and soreness. The woman dragged the dog but never tied its chain and check on me. While on my end,  I was frantic, only concerned to wash it and check for any break in the skin. My mind was wondering about rabies shot and so on. With no help forthcoming, I hurried to the hawker center to wadh my forearm. Obviously dog n owner gone by then. I wondered if it would have even helped by arguing with that woman cos what if the dog lunge me a second time. The muzzle wasnt well-fitting on the dog and it looked bith loose and worn.

Went back to the workplace. Told a few colleagues what happened but I still had two lessons. Went for one. Dropped by the nurseroom  again and got ice-pack. After lunch told the mgt and asked for permission to go off once my lessons were over. Had to wait all the way until near 4pm. I rushed off to see the doc who saw me just last week. He was surprised when I told him a doberman tried to bite me. By the n my forearm was hurting not just the bruises but the entire area. He said it's soft tissue damage but since no skin was broken,  need not have a jab. Given antibiotics cream n painkillers. I was home alone. Posted up on FB. My youngest sister who was outside saw it and called my mom who was in Malaysia with Dad. Mom called me and asked how I was. Even with the painkillers it was hurting quite bad cos I felt it got worse.  Opted foran earlier night. Knocked out. Thankfully by the next day, the pain and swelling subsided. Took one more dose of painkillers and continued the rest of the week. Concerned colleagues asjed me how I was. I was glad to survive intact, no stitches or torn, broken arm. And thw bill was free cos no other treatment necessary. Well that was a slight relief. .

Can this bloody year end already. Luck damb bsd

Exploded

I kinda exploded last week, abt this time cos of Female Wall and her bunch of lessons. She didn't feel the wrath but Male Wall got it cos he is the head and had to talk to me.

Background is that poorly planned and executed and left hanging there that in that one week leading up to the exams, I was still running around. And just before exams, I have to finish stuff with my classes, frantically checking their books, and there was an Open Day of sort and she asked for an activity for 10mins which to me, lacking inspiration and damn hetic schedule this year meant none. I managed something for her in the end, and I even led that part. Neglecting my own lessons cos used up my inspiration and time to make that.

Immediately after the exams, I was still frantically checking books and returning cos lessons would resume almost immediately after the exams. I used all my free periods to do so, still can't finish this year due to having more periods.

At this time, FE started these two lessons which were based on her culture, which to me, meant that you should know it better. I don't think I should have to conduct the lesson, so I stood and checked my books while the two of them conducted, helping to keep an eye here and there. But that wasn't good enough for her. After I had 'seen' them conduct the same thing twice, she asked me to conduct it, I told her it's her culture. She offered to continue it, which I replied ok.

But I wanted to trash things out with her after but I had a number of lessons and couldn't fun her in my sole free period. I wanted to let her know that I have been enduring the irritation at the video project which I still have to do, and this whole leading the lesson role. I was kinda worked up and during lunch at the long table, I remarked that I am damn unhappy.

Next thing I know during my free period, while I couldn't find the FW, MW who is like the Dept head wants to speak with me. My voice got louder and louder as I told him about what is happening at FW's lessons. The frustration and extra work for the video project that is still on-going, which I haven't mentioned a single word to FW cos I am enduring and trying to finish it. 

This hoo-ha about me not wanting to lead. I told him two reasons, it's just after the exams, I can't finish the books despite me using all my extra free time, and secondly, it's her culture, she can explain it better than I can. I see no point in reading aloud and she translating. There is no sense. I told him honestly, I am not the lead, my role is supportive yet I have helped her a lot and almost led in every single class cos I have showed a lot of consideration towards her but she hasn't shown me one bit of consideration. She knows the whole exam deal with the books. I could clear it last year cos my teaching load was lighter. This year with the heavier load, just this short period of time, just before and after exams, no consideration. WTF lor! He did get one point down was that she didn't know how hard I and the other was working for that video project and still doing. I told him to talk to her cos in my current state then, I would shout at her instead. He was worried I would show my anger towards students which I told him I am professional, I won't.

I left on time, went for a double session of KM and felt so much more at peace after. There was no time at all to even think of anything else except what was happening right in front of me. I reached home spent. Slept soundly and the the next day I went to work and that day I didn't have lessons with her. One more day to calm down though I was already calmed then. 

And so for those two sets of lessons, I didn't have to lead. I just cleared some work and kept an eye.

Another week down

This year has really been tough & that's an understatement. This Week has been really really long. 6 days workweek due to another event. It's been a hectic slew of events & a mad rush to finish teaching b4 the exams, then frantic all checking books then endurance marking then more books checking. On top of these is that event that Kanjeong spiders ask 'Me damn last min for activities.

This time, A couple felt my wrath cos ask me at a time where I'm tying very hard to clear my work and so vague and last min & expect miracles? There's no pre-made activities possible. Last time I had time to clear and think, but this year I am struggling already so fed my wrath though some idea struck me, and I made up something. Though stupid questions asked are being shot down by me.

For my own lessons, lagi best, already so few inspiration this year, helped settle FW's partial lesson meant I had little ideas for my Own. I had on idea for a sort-of after-eXam first lesson which isn't much of the formal style. Decide just to go along with it. Dun car that there would be visitors and it might not be What they want to see. But its not for them, just heck and did it. Then after hear some positive comments from some but I take with a pinch of salt cos culturally they can't say bad things to a foreigner... Scully say thing behind the back.

Happy that it's over. Met up with Krynnder & ZX plus the gang for dinner @ Shin Kushin. T was there and was tired & hungry. So I ate @Soupspoon, a Soup and salad. Dinner was good, too. Chatted, updated and joked. Headed to Ang Siang Hill area for dessert. The chook cake Was excellent but the service was patchy. Thanks to Quet who kindly sent Mb back. Hera ends a working Sat. Time to enjoy my weeknds. It's well-deserved & harI-earned.

WTFHis wrong with tthis year? Where's my windfall??

I am being floored by poor planning. Need to rant. Damn pent-up cos didnt go KM this week yet. Summary is on top of my already damn hectic schedule on a daily basis. I tio extra ad-hoc duties cos of another event. Plus had extra students pushed onto me. And hence it disrupted the plans to finish syllabus just in time for the exams... and that stupid priject-based lesson is poorly planned and coordinated.

I had to rush around like crazy in that sole lesson to film 3 groups which obviously dun end up being ready. So I had to co tinue with that incomplete groups over my free break time. Trouble is my timetable is so packed that on top of this, meant I either had to forgo going out to buy lunch or had to anticipate and dabao morning food as my lunch. I am already damn du-lan. I had to do that for 3 classes hence 3 days liao. Even a siant has limits.

After all these rushed filming and I loaded them all onto the network. Damn tired but still got lessons to go. Editing was supposed to be out of my hands. I couldn't even relax and pick up the guitar to strum my blues away and achieve inner peace before it got shattered. Basically damn screwed up... windows and apple dun communicate, so the same file once loaded on windows cant be transferred to apple. I got students coming frantically to find me and try to get the originals which I dun have cos all the video cams and sd cards are with that colleague whom I dun know where... bloody hell. Climbed up and down several times looking. WtH! Damn fucked-up!!! Wasted the entire hour plus and I didnt get any lax.

Damn du-lan that I brought my guitar home and did some playing ti calm myself. Bathed, ate dinner, sis bought dessert. My new military bags arrived that helped to lift my mood somewhat. Now just very tured but nerves frayed from all these intense and hectic crap. So drained and its just Tue. Tomorrow is another hectic day so hectic that I shudder at the thought cos there's two of that lessons with that FW. Bloodycrap. I think once the exams are over,  if I am not up to it, wouldn't fight it anymore, just surrender...

Where's my financial windfall? The horoscope is right sbout the hectic crap at work and the ill-effects on my health and well-being. Then where's my financial windfall? that's the big question? Think my overtly-irritated mind needs some alcohol to shut down.

Contemplation & Reflection

It's been a while since the last entry. Too caugt up in the grind of daily life...

Had a chat with the P and I said I was still contemplating whether to continue... Give an answer before this term ends.  My Guan Yin temple qian is said is not the time... plus I did look at Job-street and its either I dont have the qualifications n experience or too qualified and the pay sucked. Then that investment where the firm De listed but jept delaying returning the capital meant I dun haveaccess to my full funds. All these might be the "signs" to let me know it isn't the right time, which as things play out, seemed more obvious. But when is the right time and would I really be able to land something better as the qian said??? I am so unsure of the next step to take cos am so bogged down by the fatique of daily work. In the recent meet-up with Candle, I just prayed for things to be smooth and inner peace.

KM I am going for the Anti car jacking course cos it's on a Sat. Sun I have my drums. There's another one on long weapons which I would want to attend if it's on Sat too. That is partucularly important for me. Anyway this week I only went once, a double. I have only just recovered from the shoulder n back aches. First time I put on my fist wraps. Last Sun, I was watching you-tube and tying plus drinking at the same time. Did more than 10 tries before finally getting most of it down. Since the beginner class was striking, can put in. First hand ok. Other hand er..  tio stuck cos it's in the other direction and I practiced one side only.  Luckily the other female student who has muay thai background helped me tie it. It's like a wrist guard of sort. Since I've bought it, I'll try to use it. The Adv class was a bit complicated cos 4 different levels of blocking agaibst kicks. Learnt 3 before but some just once, plus longtime didnt do and one is new. After the long explanation,  kenna lost a biy pkus hard to focus from the exertion of the earlier class. But still can do after the practice. Just it hasnt been saved firmly in my brains. Haven't write down pointers in my KM notebook yet. Super backache and sore shoulders so rest and recover plus medicated plasters.

I was floored by the end of Wed. Coughing badly but thankfully I was not involved in today's event. Plus got one off-day so I decided to take half. Used the time to clear up some stufd n settle one lesson.  It's so long since I could sit down and do and make a resource. I thought of going out but in the end I fell asleel cos such a nice weather n peaceful in the house.  Woke up and went to the supermarket with Mom to help her with the heavy groceries n pushing the trolley. Then I went to JE to partly do banking, chevk oht movie timing n the library. The movie was kinda late so decided to go to library. Borrowed more audio books n took a bus to Clementi to continue banking.  Then just headed home, knowing I have dinner st home so I shouldn't be eating outside. Thid leisure unhurried way was somethibg I missed sorely. It gave me a bit of inner peace cos thu is the simple life,  I had time to think and remind myself to be thankful for the things I have, not  to take for granted.

Dinner, practice guitar and then by 11pm everyone is asleeo except me. I am still awake at 12.30am sio I better rest cos tom is another very hectux day...

Tio hard punch to the gut that hurt despite gear

Last week I only managed one KM session. Planned to go for a double but it turned out there's only one session that day. Then Thur didn't feel up to it, after a heavy day of work.

This week, I went for a double on Monday. The plan was to clear the "quota" before Fri approaches. I have 3 days; Mon, Tue and Thur to play around with. Last term, I did most on Mons and Tues but this term I struggled with this, partly due to the longer traveling distance, the mental fatigue and sometimes the body fatigue after an intense session. 

Just after yesterday's double, I was so stoned. The beginner class was ok, nothing too taxing, working on a basic strike. I am still not pro enough so these beginner classes helps me to work thru basics. 

Manageable. Before class, I had a bottle of coffee. After beginner class, I had a bottle of isotonic drink. Mid-way through the adv class, I finished another bottle of isotonic. After the Adv class, I was drinking lots of liquid from my gigantic bottle. This shows the strain.

The Adv class was really exhausting. We wore full safety gear, face guard, gloves and even chest guard. Did "light sparring" to work on defending and attacking, very remiscient of boxing. 3 mins per round. Guess what, I am still a noob. Can't defend much. Don't remember covering a lot of this. With no refresher, just start, and obviously I tio a lot of hits even against the female senior... And easily gas-ed out. 

Then after 2-3 round, had to swap partners and did with guys. Some were more gentle (didn't atk much or held back some) but one was ferocious... plus strong and obviously had boxing background. One hard punch to my stomach and I bent over with tears misting. Ouch! And many strikes to the head. Under this type of pressure, had to adapt and try to guard as much. Temper and aggression did flare up. Midway, he did ask if I was ok and let up a bit. Later at the end, he did apologize for the hard strikes. I was literally seeing stars and thinking to myself; Boxers deserve my respect for going through that. There was a plus point to all these; I was forced to try to guard better and attack sometimes. Cos now I know the pain and potential hurt if I don't. Keep hands up and dodge by moving the body. Nothing like good old-fashioned pain to learn a lesson quickly. 

After about 6-7 rounds of 3-mins sparring, we ended. Had my weak points pointed out. We were told to buy mouth piece, boxing gloves and arm wraps. K those would be on my shopping list esp the mouth piece. Cos when I went home, I was brushing my teeth, realized the two corners on both insides of my cheeks had a small cut each from the clenching of teeth hard when we were striking. Had to bite the teeth and also keep chin lowered. Ok tha would really be important.

Obviously I was sweating like crazy, the gear kinda smelt too. Was stoned on the ride home. Ate a late dinner and reached home about 11 plus. Bathed and then applied lots of muscle cream to the sore parts and slapped on medicated plaster on my right bicep and shoulder area. One is the strain from hyper-extension, all those punching and also some bruising from being punched in the shoulder (maybe from dodging) Looked at my stomach, wasn't any particular pain or bruises, except from muscle pain from all the crunches I did earlier last week. So safe. Slept really soundly like a log

Ended up with medicated plasters on me for work. Obviously my body aches esp the sore muscles from the arms, shoulders, stomach (from own conditioning last week) and back... Kinda feel old. 

Today kinda zoomed past at work. It was another hectic day. The past two days are, due to time-table changes, everyday is heavy and hectic. My only light day was replaced with the heavy day. Can only look at the sky. But I got through but not sure how much can I go on like this. The increased exercise (restarted doing conditioning exercises at home, last Sat ad Sun) helped and KM was definitely a blues-killer but I had to rest up and recover today. Despite the muscle cream, some parts ache more today... But thankfully no major injuries, just sore and bruised. 

See how things are by Wed before I decide whether I would attempt a double this Thur. One day at a time. I better monitor the stock market more despite the hectic schedule. Buy my Toto. Also should go to the near-by temple to offer some incense. Literally seein stars today, not from KM, but from the hectic-ness of work. 

Managing?

For the past 3 weeks, I have been eating either Hainanese curry economic rice or Nasi Bryani for dinner and drinking a simple Coke Zero Tequila to sleep, sometimes a Korean Makkoli (rice beer). Stressed, still am but trying to deal with it, with partial success at times.

The only good thing from all these stress, is that for my weight, instead of going up, it went down, despite these unhealthy items. The main reason is cos either I ate a very lite breakfast or nothing except for black coffee and my lunch is super light, many a times is you tiao n tao suan from buying in the morning. Been so hectic I hardly go out to buy, so end up with morning breakfast food as lunch, a couple of mee pok, even wan ton soup. So my pants are still loose. 

Am trying to manage my fatigue and stress level realistically. This week though I skipped KM, due to exams marking and books checking, plus period, so super-weak on those days that I would have otherwise gone for, but I was kinda glad to skip. Body grateful but without the workout to keep stress at bay, felt it more, like pent-up. It helped when I went to practice the drums, but only once and the effect doesn't last as long as a good workout does. 

Next week aim to go for a double-double cos Monday I had something up so had to push to Wed n Thur, keeping Fri free. Think I will do dips to condition my triceps more. Do feel myself getting a bit soft.

This year, work is really draining and the students I've encountered differed from the previous batches. Also the incidents I've encountered are different... Talk about thinking that I've seen them all this far... Think I need to re-evaluate that.

Feeling Lost... Divine advice

The built-up n pent-up stress, unhappiness since the start of the term reached a point where I was contemplating resignation.

Cos I've realized, I was really 自爆自气  of sorts when I was mixing a drink at night to stop the mind, as well as eating a lot (Bryani or curry rice or laksa) cos there's really a sense of irritation and lack of satisfaction that these food gave me the satisfaction I needed. Kinda of the sense of satisfaction after a hearty meal. Of course I've realized now and am trying not to abuse my body but need to wean off the hearty food.

Things reached a point I decided to go to the GuanYin temple to pray, seek advice and regain a sense of mind. I got my answer, only that it wasn't the time, so gotta hang on until a better time. True, still got half year in the contract, would forfeit my bonus if I did it now. Plus haven't been looking around or updated resumes and many more...so the advice is right. Some preparation is in order. 

Plus hopefully bump up my war-chest with some funds since the major stock loss this year. Haven't even made much this year and it's almost over. Need to keep up the buffer, insurance is kinda draining.

So after the temple qui-qian, my mind was less crowded n calmer. Went to work on Mon and super sian. Went for KM that helped drive the blues away. Felt better and survived the heavy day today though I didn't do anything else extra at work. Getting thru the lessons is the challenge. Bleah tom is another heavy day. 

I've come to realize this increased periods is affecting me, draining after numerous classes. I had to dabao breakfast food on 3-4 days. No time to even walk out. I'm mentally exhausted after a hectic day and there's 4 hectic days a week. Little prep time left for  thoughts and planning. And got to do stupid events planning such as restaurants or even get a vendor for an event. I could manage up til last year, with the normal periods but this is too much to bear. Plus those silly parties which I attend also drained me, think Geylang... Reached a point where enough is enough though. 

Just do what I can realistically and get thru each day. That's the plan and mantra. Turn more anti-social and avoid planning and going for all these parties and save up more $$$ for my war-chest.

Stressed n tired

Since the start of the second term, I was left mentally exhausted daily that I skipped KM, concuss many times. Many times with a mixed drink to shut off the overtly many thoughts. Think too much is one very obvious flaw of mine. So the alcohol shuts down the mental thoughts and I could sleep. I guess just too many things on my plate at work. Just glad no family troubles to add to that.

By far, this week was the worst. I did restart KM, going for a double session which turned out pretty good. I felt better and even normal on Tue morning, only to be thoroughly drained after the heavy day. 

Due to privacy hence the lack pf details. i was running around on Thur, heavy day, plus event running around plus having to go check out the venue for the after-party, and the whole waiting around wasted time drained me further. 

By Fri, I was just hoping to get through by but had to flare up once in the four consecutive lessons that I had to endure. Even had to give up going out to buy lunch and even my plans to eat out cos a student asked for help to practice. Then an extra period I gotta be present for the another level event. Plus I was checking diaries and also cleaned up my room by sweeping, dusting etc. Talk about hectic.

Then the welcome party that evening... I would turn even more anti-social cos I was again the only one to turn up there, had to travel down via mrt with rush hour crowd to the red-light district for a meal. Due to long years of not eating spicy stuff, the food gave me diarrhea and stomach pains and pangs that lasted the whole day on Sat. Then the whole drunk female colleague whom luckily for her, not so for me, shared cab. Dropped her off safely. I must avoid more of such functions in future. Not enjoyable, very queer at times, really cultural differences are glaringly obvious.

I just don't want this weekend to end so soon. I need more time to recover. Stomach still diarrhea, body is tired especially the mind. But Sat is over and Sun is here. Just last longer and wake me up after Sept ends.

Turning to the bottle, recipes but improving

Basically in the first week of work, I had trouble sleeping, brain alert and had to wake up early. So in desperation, I grabbed a bottle n poured some into my cup, thinking it was the Honey Bourbon only to realize it was the Chivas. Hence I stuck to that and used whatever mixers I had in stock in my room. So there were some hits and misses. Got a bunch more to try out with time.

Chivas + Bitter Lemons => Yum

Chivas + Dry Ginger Ale => Yum

Chivas + Bundung => Interesting but less  Chivas might be better

Chivas + Tonic water => clash

Chivas + Pineapple juice => clash

Usually it helps me sleep though I wake up earlier than my alarm clock cos either I needed to pee or I was thirsty. Surprisingly irritating that while others drink and slept peacefully late, I end up waking earlier.

Last week alone, I drank 5 out of 7 days. That's an indication of the amount of help I need to fall asleep. Also to shut off the overtly active mind at times. With the alcohol in the system, the numerous thoughts come to a stand-still and it's pleasant muted silence except for very simple thoughts. Then Zzzzz...

This week, thus far, I drank once on Wed, so that's a significant improvement, Found part of my stamina and could get thru some parts with less fatigue but still tired overall. Will resume KM next week instead. I wanna rest up and sleep and so on. Next week I'll go for a double on just one day. Rest up and try to relax before then. 

Today is my somewhat more manageable day, a breather in the entire hectic week, so I used one free period to go practice my drums, it was a good stress-reliever. Felt good but tired. Still don't have to stamina n focus to do an entire song, will lose the rhythm somehow and right leg is tired from all the bass drumming. Think it'll take some time to build that up. It's a good practice. 

Feeling pretty tired these days but noticed I wasn't the only one. Okay, I'm human.

Very Bad Work Blues - just in the 1st week!??

It's very alarming when after work started just this week, by end of Tuesday, I was feeling mentally-drained. 

Partly cos I was actually cleaning up my room, wiping the tables and chairs with soap water, re-arranging the messed-up room cos all the tables and chairs were moved out of the room for floor waxing during the hols hence my things got messed up, tables & chairs got a layer of dust over them. Worst still dunno who went to un-set up the screen and visualizer so I got to plug and set up the wiring and also on my own time, (on Thur) I carried up a ladder to tie up the screen. Grr... Little wonders about the fatigue. Stupid right?

Then cos first day is so mind-numbing from the ceremony and damn long but boring hour long speech by a guest speaker, felt mentally tired. Then the second day, everything starts, including cca. After five lessons, I was seeing stars. 

Finding it hard to be inspiring or excited about the boring context. A slew of bored and tired faces look back at me. Nothing inspirational or original ideas struck me to make it more interesting. Sat thru a long meeting, looking thru those events, roll my eyes at a couple of it. Finally found some time within the week to check through the  holiday homework and for 2days, I didn't even have the chance to go out n but lunch. 

I reached home really mentally-zombified, and fell asleep before or after dinner, only to wake up later around 10pm and couldn't sleep after. Had to make myself a cocktail, down it in a gulp and then knock-out. Nope, didn't overslept. In fact I even woke before the alarm cos the alcohol makes me either thirsty or need to pee. Those woke me up. In this week alone, I drank on 4 weekdays. That's a sign of something... A good outcome is I am mixing different mixers with the Chivas to finish it off. So far, I've found with either Bitter Lemon or Dry Ginger Ale is good. Got more to go.

I checked with a couple of female colleagues and they remarked that they felt really tired, though its just the first week. One shared that she is not particularly motivated, from a myriad of reasons and contributing factors. I asked myself if it is a sign that my time is ending. I did ask myself how long more of it could I endure? Work is getting kinda painful. But I was reminded of how childish I was being by my sister, who said "How many of us really like to work?" I reminded myself of those who had to work much longer hours and harder for a much lower pay, just to bring the bread home. So just gonna suck it in and give it a try again. Take it one day at a time, one week at a time. Dun think so childishly.

Today my mom did a prayer session at home, my usual prayer when I hold the joss sticks, bless my parents n siblings n me with good health n peace of mind. Me I asked for blessings in wealth, esp with the demotivated self n investment loss. Dun mind any $$$ that can fall my way, without having to do a sideline.

On the other hand, in a sort of way, I was kinda happy to skip KM cos of a slightly sore right elbow. Decided to play it safe and let it rest. In the meantime, I put on plasters, muscle cream. It's not severe enough to go to the doctors that type. It felt strained do since I didn't want it to become a permanent injury, I rested and kept and eye on it. It's much better. I am now thinking about how to work KM into my work schedule. Maybe next week, Thur, I'll go for a double, that's all. I can't imagine doing twice or thrice in my current state of mental fatigue n unmotivated self. Maybe go in for a double this Thursday.

A nice finish to the hols, missing it already

Not sleepy yet but work is resuming tom... Will so totally regret this in the morning tomorrow.

This summer holiday is more memorable and feels so much longer. I feel the main reason is cos I am doing stuff, courses, with friends, some unusual and out-of-the-blue, so it's refreshing. Totally forget about working at all, until tomorrow.

Comic-Con:

This is not my first comic con, been to a few already but this is the first where I went for 2 days cos of the ticketing price $19 for single and $25 for 2-days. Not just that but cos of plans to 'help eat a free breakfast', so I'll be in the area, might as well.

The offering this year is much better than previously hence didn't mind going down. Initially I wasn't sure until I looked through the website. Sat, headed there with Tab n DF. Very crowded. Sun, I headed there with Tab after the free breakfast on my part (Plates of savory food; Intercontinental breakfast, watermelon juice and mango-banana smoothie) Ate until so full, I didn't eat anything else until dinner time. Given we ate until 10am.

Totally regretted sleeping at 5am last night n having to wake up at 7.45am to get out of the house to meet to eat the breakfast at the hotel. After the pot of coffee, think I was hyper, then crashed a bit during my drum lesson later on in the afternoon. That's why the second time, in Comic-con, just spent about 40mins inside. Even without drum lessons, I wouldn't be staying there until 5.30pm where the cosplay comes on... Think other countries are so much higher standard n more into character than what I saw just walking around. Not that there aren't good ones, but as one ages, it seems more for the youths. 

Decided on a whim to ask Tab to help me take a few funny poses pics with the life-sized IronMan figures. Wanted to do a being-blasted away shot but with so many people and just my I-phone, it was ok but not as amusing. An idea hot me last night to do a Janken match pic. Cos I didn't have a chance to ask my drum instructors to help me take a drum pic, n I might have to write about my hols, as part of my example to students, decided to get at least one 'interesting' pic to use. Tab asked to use for a photo competition. See how that goes but not used to pic being seen by outside pple. Dunno if even can win, and if get a poster instead, so cheapskate prize too. Think all these stupid post photos are an unconscious influence by colleagues.

In the Comic-con, I didn't spend much, just 3 key-chains and a Tokidoki PVC bag (nicer than the usual supermarket type) Minion figurine toys were tempting but very pricey for $50 n $100 each... Not sure if I liked them enough to want to pay so much. Love my Maplestory snail keychain, too bad they sold-out/couldn't find their Minion ones. I'll KIV next time I see this stall.

Drums:

Improving, not too bad except my tempo is not constant, sometimes too fast or slow. Have to do more metronome training. Moving into once a week lesson on Sundays. Today also moving on to basic drum patterns, much like guitar strumming patterns. 

Work *groanz*

Work is restating tomorrow. I would have some trouble waking up. Haven't ironed anything yet. All wait until tomorrow morning. 

Not going for KM yet cos my right elbow is a bit sore. Think is the over-extension from all the punching. Need to let it rest up. So this week, either I go twice or just once but a double lesson later in in the week so that first week back to work is not so taxing. Take it easy in the initial restarting part.

Cca is restarting, got to bring guitar to workplace. But its tuned one-step down... still got my j-rock song to learn. see how, maybe bring next week so not so much stuff to lug on the first day. Hope to ask colleague to teach me how to change the strings of the electric guitar. Need to get the replacement strings first. One thing I realized is that electric guitars are so much heavier than acoustic cos one is solid, the other is hollow. Wait a bit before bringing either to the workplace. Sometimes too busy teaching during cca to even take out my own to practice. Rather do it at home only to realize I left the acoustic guitar at workplace... 

Man, I miss the hols already. The freedom to sleep and wake at anytime, do stuff leisurely and in no hurry are sorely missed. It'll be a long, long while before I can do something like this. 

Final week - volunteer. drums. shopping n final plans

Volunteer, Sat;

On Sat, I went to the workplace first to meet up with FW, then took a cab with 2 big luggage trolleys to the venue. Man, it was hot there, despite being in the shade. 4 students came to help out. So after setting up everything, we were told off not to start until 5pm, when some pple came over and started 'donating' before then. So spent more than an hour just waiting... What a waste of time.

When I got a break, I took a quick walk-about to look at the stalls. There were 4 wings full of stalls. I went to the ice-cream stall and bought some ice-cream for the students and FW, none for myself cos of my cough. Students help out FOC, so small treat for them. Went back to the stall and stood around. Then as 5pm drew close, the crowds swelled. I helped to answer enquiries by locals about how much the items cost, what's the charity about etc. They couldn't see the Eng displays which were pasted at the tables cos when people crowd around, not able to read. Also the Jap versions were pasted on the hanging string, so only Jap explanation us visible... Nvm. Many donated $2, quite a few $5, $10 especially when you tell them to donate generously for charity.

Later after many hours behind the booth, I went and stood outside the stall, holding up the signs and calling out for people to come to take a look cos it's for charity, hand-made products made by our students for charity. Dunno how long, until the students were let off around 8pm and the crowds started dwindling. Both of us continued to stay until about 10pm. Then packed up the remaining items and shared a cab back to drop off the luggage at workplace, then drop is home. Bleah... It's meaningful for charity but if it becomes adopted as part of the program and yet I am the one 'volunteering' year-by-year, it's not kinda fair to me. Cos even during the preparation lessons, had to put in extra time to clean up after students etc. Dunno how it'll be like next year. For now, I'm glad it's over.

Drums, Sun;

Apparently my right leg and right hand are not time-coordinated, meaning if my right leg kicks the bass drum and my right hand hits the snare, it doesn't sound like a clean one sound, but is disjointed. Surprisingly my left hand is coordinated to my right leg, little or no effort can creat that sound... So I tried to do the tapping exercise in my own time. I went for class and still salah, but I asked the instructor about certain postures, positioning and he answered me, which I really liked. Learnt more through questioning and answering, drummer's wrist warm-up, where to position the sticks, a full-downstroke and a downstroke.  About half-way, after drumming around, getting better at the R-hand, R-leg thingy. Sometimes still off but better than last week. So more tapping exercise. It's not easy but doable. As long as I am progressing, it's good.

Massive Shopping, Mon;

Didn't go for KM cos mom asked if I was free. So she wanted to go and meet Geoky for lunch after her work event. Asked me along on Sunday evening so I didn't msg for class. We met at Illuma for lunch. My treat at Poulet, then we walked around. I ended up buying a lot of stuff at OG, despite me earlier snubbing it as a boring place... So now I know, I am at the "aunty-stage"... Cos BHG was under massive renovation, nothing much there. Ended up with new undergarments that cost me $135. Cos really needed but just kept forgetting and putting off. So one time restock everything. So that's a year's worth. Also bought a 2-liter tea flask with a diffuser inside that cost only $16.90. From the way I drink liquids, this is very suitable. I was looking for such tea flasks with diffusers but they were often too small, just a cup or a small jug. That's not enough. Also bought 2 shorter-styled 3/4 (abv knee caps) that were much more affordable $30 each so that I can have a choice not to wear jeans always cos no bottom. Work khakis require ironing. Then my sporty berms makes me look sloppy n don't match. Often end up with my grey 3/4 or the brown shorts. Not enough choice. Now should be better though both are darker brown. No size or colors. Nvm. I have lots of brown n earthly colors.

Other plans

Tomorrow I am attending my first double KM since the shift and the changes. Just to use my last bit of free time to find out if it would be difficult or taxing. Cos going thrice is challenging, so go twice but once is a double lesson, to make up for 3 sessions a week. See how it goes, if its ma manageable.

My final extra drum lesson is this week, last time to use an electric drum which is really cool, at least u can control the volume unlike a conventional one. But it's like comparing between acoustic and electric guitars, both have their good n bad. I like them both, though more towards acoustic but I listen to more songs with electric guitars. Will take a photo.

2/3rd mark

Fixing the sleeping time:

Now I am trying to readjust my sleeping time cos really sleep at 3am and wake about 10-11am. Might end up like zombie if I don't rectify now. With another 10 days to go, better start now. Moving sleeping time forward to midnight and setting morning alarm clock.

'Volunteer'

This year, I didn't misread the circular and mistakenly sign up as a volunteer for this summer event. But because for my dept, a couple left, some are already involved in the other duties for that event, so left FW herself with the whole cohort's hand-made products, so I asked her of she needed help, and thus ended up being down for that charity booth duty.

I went down today, to help make some information printout displays, and pack the stuff. Offered my luggage bag to use to pack the stuff. The rest she said she'll handle tomorrow, so I don't have to go in again until Sat. We agreed on a time to meet at the workplace and go down together. Hope it can get good proceeds for charity.

Music

It's interesting to have 2 different drum instructors. My fixed one emphasize the basics, which is good cos it drills the important blocks. Still at snare and bass drum. The other goes for coordinating and sight-reading to play the parts of the drum kit and also playing with songs. So it's a good balance and makes it fun. I would miss the variety cos next week is the last week of the hols, so once work starts, it's back to once a week, under my fixed instructor. But I'll try the second instructor's way if I get tired of doing basics.

For guitar, working on one of the j-rock song on the acoustic guitar, managing the introd and into the verse 1. Still have many parts to work on, but it is a bit smoother. The other j-rock song, I'll keep until I've finished this one. The j-pop song, I'm still working on cos that's on electric guitar and need to get used to moving along the neck quickly for power chords, will it's a much easier song compared to the j-rock ones. So happily practicing and forgetting all about work.

Exercise & Diet:

Into the 2nd week of diet, so far controlling and fewer lapses. Without weighing, I could see my tummy a bit flatter (still got tummy) so I can see the progress. Still not down to lowest, need more time but lost 1kg I think. 

Exercise is into the 3rd week, I am going for my 3rd KM within this week. Still got that uneven numbers but try not to let it affect me mentally. Just thicken my skin and do it. We are doing more combative; aka how to do a combination of strikes from front, side and rear. It's good cos it helps to put atks into a doable combination instead of trying to come up with some ko-ya ones cos lack of combat experience. I must say, it's very good aerobics workout. A bit of sore knee and shoulders but doable. See if I can aim for thrice next week, still a challenge to move from twice to thrice.

In-doors

I find I haven't gone into town for a while, maybe 1.5weeks? Cos all the courses and stuff kept me going to-and-fro East-West, haven't gone to town. Did go to Msia twice with patents, once CitySquare and once Perlangi, banking stuff n spend some RM. Not much to do besides eat and buy discs. 

Tomorrow I plan to go out roaming, guess in-town, so can kill two birds with one stone. Think at least from after lunch so don't anyhow munch rubbish. 

This holiday seems to pass much slower cos of the courses, dinners and events. It does slow time down and makes this time more memorable than other summer vacation. Think this is the direction I wanna aim for, at least to make adulthood more memorable. Doing something out of the usual is important especially if everything seems routined, even things like dinner outings, courses. 

Wanna enjoy this last spurt of free time, next term is a killer and it goes on-and-on plus I remembered the increased classes so it's doubly tiring. It'll be a long time before I can take another break like this.

15th days, halfway mark

Drums:

The extra drum lesson I added, under a different instructor was fun. First time playing electric drums. The instructor is good, more structured than the other. Introduced to the other drums beside the snare. Toms, high hat, bass drum and even the crashes. Got to play along that pattern to Simple Plan song, nice, though its not exactly how it sounds but its a way to practice drumming with a song. Interesting and by the end of the lesson, I could do the basic drum pattern that involves the bass drum. A matter of co-ordination. It was fun figuring out, like your brain says one thing but your limbs went another way. After class I walked to a couple more restaurants to enquire about corporate dinner. Went home quite contented. Hope to keep this up. 

Audio-books:

Borrowed the Fellowship of the Ring, 16 discs and almost finished with it. Also have Harry Potter, final book. Nice to listen to narration. Except I can't read while listening. But if I'm just stoning, can just listen and focus on the story. Hope to finish them and go to Book 2 & 3 of the LOTR. 

Others:

Slowly moving into the second week of exercise routine and first week of controlling my food intake. It's not easy. I feel at times conflicting thoughts, much like a devil and an angel on my shoulders; one is saying "Nvm, can take it easy lah. Enjoy your holiday. One more nvm" and the other is "Health matters, must have some discipline. Just do it. Hang in there." An internal struggle and I have to get through 21 days of this. Almost mid-way there. Just cheer myself on and keep reminding myself of the commitment and celebrating every little step. I realized that's why I blog about it often.

Investment:

Going to make my second loss and its a large loss $11k cos I got a number of shares at a higher cost than the price they offered to delist at. It's my Dad's counter, I regretted listening to him and learnt a painful lesson to never touch his counters at all ever. Luckily I didn't lose my overall capital but it eroded a chunk of my total profits over these 5-6 years. That's irritating and sian cos this year I hardly made any gains from the stagnant market, just $1k, then I am still $9k more to my annual target then this huge ass negative came in, making it like a $20k target which is really hard. Never mind, I can't undo it, it's a done-deal. So I just got to learn, be careful and try to make back this 'loss' gradually. Just irritated. Bo bian...

KM:

The Adv class has more stuff to learn though there is a refocus on the basics but they combine more things together than the singular stuff at the Beginner class. But the 'unfriendliness' of it at times makes me feel reluctant to go for it. Yar I still trudge ahead, reminding myself of the deeper reasons I have, but at times it's a pain to go for. The longer traveling, have to eat dinner early before or later at night after class, is not helping. Luckily I figured out a nicer timing to leave home when the buses and trains are slightly less crowded but still very much standing the entire journey. At times I feel like reducing to just twice a week until I feel the 'interest' to increase to thrice a week. Hope as I get used to things and the awkwardness reduces, my resolve can get me through this distractions and keep me from quitting easily. Keep reminding myself to keep positive, brush aside the negative.

Mental resilience:

I realized I am getting stronger mentally. If it was my younger self, looking back, I find I don't give up as easily as before. This is a cumulation of past experiences,  age & maturity. I am still not as strong emotionally, but I feel more so than before. How does one gain mental strength? 

It's really not taught through books but through doing stuff; learning your own inadequacies & fears and forgiving yourself for being less than perfect because no one is. That, making mistakes is normal, everyone does. That, you have your own pace and despite others seemingly progressing faster at times, ya don't have to compare but just continue working on yourself. You might be surprised at the pace of your own progress with time. Need to overcome the sense of anxiety, sense of failure, fears, insecurities and doubts and just keep going forth. That's what I remind myself again after another KM class. Not just for the courses I'm going to, some things I am pursuing but I try to apply that to work, which is another area fraught with doubts, insecurities and worries. Keep an open mind.

KM plans, Flab

KM:

There is a high drop-out rate for KM. From the batch of P1 with me, I just saw one guy. Those familiar faces in the beginner class seemed fewer too, after the shift. The Adv group is not as friendly, not that I am chatty. I kinda keep to myself but more of they kinda stick to their partners, it's more difficult cos of the  few female and with odd numbers, sometimes it's difficult. Awkward but Tab's bro has been very friendly.

But I remind myself that I have deeper reason than just fitness and interest to pursue. Just with a P1 is just a beginning, haven't learnt anything complex and sophisticated, so I ain't quitting anytime soon. My package is until Jan, plan to keep to it 2-3 times a week. Think I can't commit to more than that with the increased traveling time and longer distance. My traveling time has increased to more than an hour. So it's really you go cos you really want to, not for a mere fancy.

I planned to go thrice this week but yesterday I waited until I came home cos asked my mom if she still wanted to go to Bugis with my company. Asked her on Mon but she didn't want to once she knew I had KM class that night. So after class I asked her but she had things to do tonight. I didn't SMS to go. Woke up in the middle of the night, right elbow hurt, pasted medicated plaster. Much better today. Glad I didn't go n can rest. Body and mind need time to digest yesterday's lesson and pointers.

Thought:

This week, decided to go twice, next week try to go thrice. A bit like no life, if go 3 days of KM and 2 days of drum. Like so hectic, think I also want to relax a bit. When work resumes, won't have such lax.

Been over-eating for 2 months (from blog entries) so put on 3.5kg! If don't control, would go back to my fat self, no thanks. This entails curbing my incessant eating. A game of self-control & will-power! It's been difficult. Restarting with a 21-day plan then continue for 2 months. It is a struggle to control the food portion and rein-in my appetite. It's just into Day 3. Have to battle. Really most of this weight gain comes from over-eating than lack of activity. Gone are the days of eating everything and anything, with no ill-effects. 

I started exercising this 1st Aug. Besides days of KM, I started exercising at home. Started with just pure dips 4 sets, then I did one set of KB. Continue with more dips and moved to 1.5 set of KB. Almost on a daily manner. Yesterday increased the dips 5 sets, KB 2 sets n added back conditioning push up and sit up, 2 sets. Into the second week of exercising. Hope to intensify until everyday do a bit of exercise, be it dips, KB, a bit of shadow fighting exercise. 

Plan:

Haven't gone wandering yet, later on. I have to look for a dinner venue for the whole workplace. Later cos that's work.

Practice guitar and a bit of drums today, tomorrow, going to JB, have to see sinseh n drum lesson 2. 

A Queer n Peculiar Dream

For a person like me who hardly ever dreams, they are rare and very infrequent. The number of times I do, can be counted by the fingers on one hand. That rare.

Didn't know what brought about this peculiar dream early this morning. I dreamt that I went back to teaching locally and kena posted back to my last workplace. Thought things were bad but as I was shown around via a tour, there were changes. A nice ex-colleague promoted to Director so that the a**hole of the P who was still there, was subdued. I walked around the premises which was a combination of my own pri school, my two former workplaces. There were ex-pupils who saw me and rushed forward; a mix of my pri, sec friends and a few older versions of my last class. There was a feeling of nostalgia but I did have other mixed feelings throughout the tour. Then I woke up. 

Realized it was a dream cos there were so many elements mixed in, my own school days, people from my previous two workplaces. I sat up and counted how long since I've left and how old that ex-student of mine is now. She'll be in P6 this year. Wow, time flies. Indeed it flew past quickly. I contemplated whether I should drop by to visit those two ex-workplaces but shortly decided not to. 

In the first workplace, most of the colleagues whom I was closer have left n my students have already graduated. In the second workplace, I don't have news but my last batch of students are in P6 now, probably morning session, and my previous level was in the afternoon session. So dunno what's the point of going there. 

There isn't. It's just the memories speaking. There wasn't too much regret leaving except for leaving the students and some colleagues. Definitely no love lost for the mgt or the system. It's peculiar cos I resigned just before National Day. Now is August, the month of the summer vacation. Coincidence or just my sub-conscious reminding me of the lapse of time?

It's nostalgic to relive some elements but it definitely ain't so rosy when I was working there in reality. It's just that with time (lots of it) certain things can be forgiven, forgotten and overlooked like how the dream was. 

I don't take this as a sign I should go back yet. Not sure if the push and pull factors are going in that direction overall. I feel it's just a bunch of memories coming together and manifesting in a dream in the month of my leaving. Like a forgotten reminder. If I wanted a sign, then I should have been dreaming about the Toto numbers. There's a 3 million draw today. I didn't glimpse any special numbers from the dream though I could remember much of the short dream. If dream were signs, I should have dreamt of six exact number dancing and jumping around me, then switch to me sipping piña-colada on a pristine beach. Or me in my own $200k car driving to visit my last workplace to gloat at certain mgt people. Something like that. I did wake and bought my numbers but through the system instead. Not much chance but a hope.

Crabs @ MelBen

I've heard about MelBen from my local office colleagues cos they helped suggest one of the level's dinner places to be there. I didn't go for that one but subsequently heard that the colleagues did enjoy eating there.

Its in Tab's area and she knows it well. So after a long time, this holiday, decided to jio Tab n Quet to eat there. DF came along too so we can eat more crabs with more pax. Decided on the Crab bee hoon & Salted Egg yolk (cos if order the chilli crab, will end up eating lots of mantous which are super high in calories)  Went for the lesser evils but with higher cholesterol.

We were all a bit late from our planned time. But we arrived about 6.15pm to find ourselves in a long queue. Bo bian, all not so hungry yet so we queued and chatted as it moved along. Quet joined us at the 2/5 mark and we continued chatting until about 8pm when we moved  to the front of the queue. 

Finally after 2 hrs of waiting, we were seated to much relief, all hungry by then that we ordered a coconut each to munch on the flesh n drink the cool juice despite the initial plan for Chinese tea. Now we know, the process of queuing is a ruse to make patrons hungry that each would have a coconut. Ha, we fell for it ;P

I was glad to be able to munch the coconut flesh to get something down my stomach cos I was feeling the pangs of gastric coming. Just in time, it abated. Our orders; bamboo clams, stir fried broccoli and their fried bean curd came soon and we swept them off in a short time. Then the main dishes, the Crab Bee Hoon plus extra soup n bee hoon & the Salted Egg Crab came. Luckily we were persuaded to change to medium crabs instead of large initially cos the medium crab is really big already. That was the largest pincer I ever had. 

It was nice to dig out the crab meat, scoop the bee hoon and soup and slurp it down. It reminds me a bit of XO bee hoon style but the soup has a different flavor. With crab meat, it tastes really good. The salted egg crab was good too, except that the frying made the flesh shrink and hence a bit tougher but u can't resist but keep licking the crab as u eat to get all the sticky egg yolk surrounding it. Definitely very savory. It is also nice to have 2 flavors as a contrast. One is soupy, other is fried. It is also nice if u dip the salty egg crab into the soup of the bee hoon soup to moisten it and eat it and the salty egg taste transfers to the soup and it's even more flavorful. Yumz! Ate many bowls of the bee hoon. Ended off with a second drink of chinese tea to wash down all the rich, savory flavors. It cost $53 per pax, worth it cos ate until so full. I've had to pay $60 for those level dinners that don't satisfy as much. 

That's my final indulgence in the month of August. Really out on some weight this time from the incessant eating that my tummy is buldging out more. Stepped on the weighing scale, bleah, about 3 kgs extra that needs to be worked off, if not, I would revert back to my weight soon. No thank you, cos it took me so long to slim down. Plus with another health checkup in Nov, need to clean up my eating habits. 

When I reached home, I made a big cup of Chinese tea with 3 tea bags. Let it sit and had a bath, then chug it down. Felt better. That glass of tea we had wasn't enough for my taste. And at midnight cos I was not sleepy, quite alert, I started doing my dips exercise and then did 1.5 set of my usual KB. I felt a bit stronger compared to when I initially restart with just 1 set. Didn't do the body conditioning exercises cos those I haven't restarted yet. Need to keep this up, with KM and a lot of sensible n careful eating. This would be my first week out of 21- days to build up all the broken exercise routines.

So fast it's 10 days

Time does fly... Already it's the 10th day of the hols.

Done nothing much productive. Most of it is spent lazing around.

I did go for a trial drum lesson on the 4th Aug and decided it was okay enough for me to continue with it. I paid for a month lesson plus 3 extra weekdays just for the month of August. Once work resumes, it'll be back to once a week, Sunday. Can jio me for lunch in HV area. I have no idea what level I am aiming for, it's something I wanted to do, besides guitar. Use it to inject a sense of excitement into my rather routines life.

Besides that I resumed KM and went for 2 lessons in the old venue and a lesson at the new venue in the east... Next week I am going to go thrice. Help me burn off the tummy that has bulged up from my incessant eating for almost two weeks. Today I stepped on the scales and it ain't pretty. I also resumed exercising at home though its just KettleBell one set, once and 4 other days of just pure dips. Need to rebuild the 21 day routine. This is just the 1st-2nd week.

Took out both guitars and started working on 2 different songs. One is a J-rock song I really liked but its really complicated for my current ability. The other is a J-pop song that is kinda easier cos its just power chords on the electric guitar but its really fast, so not there yet. 

Also bought myself a pair of drumsticks so I can practice drumming on my pillow... First time ever, I so diligently sat down with the metronome app on I-phone attached to speakers and practiced the rhythm patterns. Did more than an hour of that, no wonder my left wrist felt strained (weakened cos of prior injury) I got the patterns down. Not bad. I hope the improved sense of rhythm and stuff can help me be a better guitar player.

Finished up a bunch of fantasy storybooks. Haven't gone to the library cos of the long public holiday weekend. The Thur and Fri were super boring for me. Stayed at home, didn't know what to do with myself. I even did guitars n drumming practice on Fri to no end of my boredom. 

Summer holiday start, Audio book

Today's the first day of summer holidays. Slept a bit later before I woke at 8.30am.

Went out for breakfast, laksa and teh-o. Paid my bills. Came back and tidied up my pile of letters, while listening to the audio book 'The Hobbit'. Borrowed it recently and started listening to it during the final few days of work. It's nice to have somebody narrate to you, reminding me of the 'Story-teller' series from my primary school days. So it helped drown out my Dad's loud music in the living room. Quite engrossed that I didn't noticed he went out. Good idea.

Besides this, borrowed about 10 books to read, have 2 band scores to try out, 1 song with chords, KM tonight - twice to thrice, and starting this Sunday, drumming. Hope to level up my guitar playing through some hard work. Plus do some working out at home, restart KettleBell which I've stopped long time back. Ate too much last weekend and the final days of the term.

No travel plans, just trying to 'slow my pace' down, enjoy the lax. Time to tidy up the room, clothes and my table. All these get neglected during work time. The break allows me to tidy the junk before it becomes unmanageable. 

August, other personal things planned; a crab dinner at MelBen, Tab's house-warming.

KM Level P1 test, Hols are coming

I was sick for about 1.5 weeks, hence stopped going for KM. I rested at home until last Sat that was the grading test.

Was reminded to bring enough water cos it could last as long as 6hrs. I brought but I didn't expect the testing duration to be six hours, I had expected maybe a lot of waiting time. I had 2 small packs of milk for breakfast.

FromLavender, we walked over. No girls cos the other two couldn't make it. I partnered with a guy about my build. We started with a revision of the P1 syllabus. Going through every move a few times in turns. After 4hrs of revision, with some water breaks in-between, I was feeling kinda light-headed. I bought chilled canned sweetened drink like Pokka carrot juice & isotonic drinks from a nearby vending machine to sustain me. Needed the sugar n salt to keep going. 

Then the actual formal grading started. We were told that we are assessed from the revision part until the final grading. Can get it so long as don't screw up badly, yet it was little consolation to get through another 2hrs. It was intensive and we had to be aggressive and reactive. I was out of breathe n coughing a lot from the chilled drinks. The multiple assailants drill was really really taxing. Almost wanted to give up. Movements sluggish. Out of breathe. 

Finally it was over. Had a short ceremony to get our patches and certificates. My left foot was cramping up and I had a bad stitch on the right. Apparently as explained by the head is that body is exhausted n short of the salts hence the cramps n the stitch was from very warm muscles that sat still from resting so sudden movements caused stitch. I see. I almost wanted to cry cos just so exhausting and relieved that it was over. Not doing that anytime soon.

After we have finished, I went to change out of my sweaty gears into fresh clothes n had a wet wipe down n put on lots of the Sea Breeze deo water. Met up with Quet for a super late breakfast n lunch at Soup Spoon for me. my hands were a bit trembly  n later dessert n tea at Ma Kaision. The tea time set is very good, for about $7.50 for a dessert n a tea. My apple caramel cake was very refined and good. But I went back home after and soaked all my sweat-soaked gear n had a bath. 

That night I drank a 1.5 liter of isotonic drink and stayed mostly in bed. Had scratches and some bruises. Next day woke up with lots of muscle aches but bearable so long as I stayed in bed which I did.

Monday back to work, I had to suffer the even sorer muscles as I had to move about at the workplace as well as the stairs. A bit of inconvenience  for the stairs but after going through the 6hrs grading, it kinda changed my perspective on training. As in what we did in KM lessons and the intensity of the grading is really different. I can actually survive that, so this little pain is just a small thing compared to that. Reached home and slapped on more muscle cream. By Wed I was good as new but I decided to take a week break from KM, didn't have any breaks for 8 months since I started going under package. Started in Aug so it's almost a year. 

This week has been eating a lot more. I see my tummy bigger. Erm next week I am restarting KM at the Adv class. Just SMS for one tomorrow. I see if I can do twice first. Then move on to thrice. A week of little exercise n lots of food does "wonders" in the bad sense to one's fitness. Restart slowly...

Also work is ending soon, three more workdays. Cannot take it too easy cos weekdays I tend to eat lesser. Hols is not good for my waist. 

Exciting thing is I am going to go for a trial lesson for drums. I've got two songs for guitar to figure out. Bought the full band score from the Internet. Also planning on finishing up the Grade I music theory book n moving on to the next one.

So for now that's what my holidays would be like.

Been sick

On Thur, a heavy day, I was struggling to get through my final lesson, at the last period. Feeling really unwell though I started off ok. Cough acted up really bad. 

I didn't go for cca and went back after I finished marking the test. Very last minute, very tough to get through that. That evening I saw the doc and actually got mc for the next day, a Fri. 

With meds in my system, I still headed to work with the intention to leave once I've finished the two classes I had. There were a couple more absentee scripts to mark, also had to finish keying in all their component scores and deciding on their grades. In the end, I didn't go for that class cos combined and did some activity while me and another colleague checked the grading. Once that was done, I left. Urged to leave earlier by the mgt. Left before noon and concussed in bed after lunch and meds.

Woke up to head out just for steak dinner at LeBouchons with friends. My first experience eating bone marrow from cows. Later I found thru Internet that its high in mono-non-sat fats. I had some nutrients but mainly fats. I didn't know that until after... though Tab asked me if it was fats. I ate most of it though it was a bit too much cos it was very rich n greasy. Ate with the toast, and two bread buns. K a been-there-done-that. Won't order it again unless there's people eating.

By the time my steak came, I was half-full but still ate the whole. It was still good with the horse radish condiment. After dinner, we walked towards the Esplanade. I wasn't up to staying out. Feeling weak and cannot focus, so I took a bus back once I've reached. It took a long time to come, man talk about conspiracy... 

Reached home, took meds. The next day, I was still unwell. Having bouts of headache combined with dizziness. One moment I was ok, next I just wanna be in bed. It came on and off over the weekends. Though on Sat afternoon, I headed out for colleagues' farewell lunch. Pricey... bobian.

I headed home immediately after that and zonked out. The bouts continued into Sunday. Even on Mon morning, when I woke up for work, still not well enough, I called in sick and went to see the docs again. This time there's no anti-biotics, some meds for the headache and the giddiness. Stayed home, only headed out to get doc queue number, see doc, dabao dinner. Mom went back to Msia on Monday itself. 

I went back to work and am still not fully recovered. Am still not fully mentally focused at times. Can feel the bouts still but much much less severe. With the meds, becomes a dull throb. But felt better than before. Luckily for whatever reason, my counterparts decided to change the plans for more lessons into watching a movie. It's a good idea except that watching the same movie 5 times within a space of a week is too much to bear. After watching twice, I brought work in to do. Made a ws based on the movie, wrote some notes, checked their corrections of the writing. Bleah, bored after watching twice. Sometimes like this, I'll rather have lessons though it might be taxing cos sometimes I find it a waste of time that's why I crafted the ws to relate it back to the language. 

Lessons are resuming soon. 

Trading 2 days of KM for other stuff to do

In the end, I didn't go for KM on Thur n Sat. Fell asleep very early on Wed, by the time I woke, it was 2am. So didn't msg. On Thur I felt the body's fatigue, decided to go watch a movie at JCube, to break the monotony. Also use the opportunity to explore the new mall, Jem. But my plans to finally catch the Man of Steel was thwarted cos it ended its run. Argh... fine, it was either Despicable Me 2 or the Lone Ranger. Decided to watch the latter  and a later show, 9.30pm so that I could eat my dinner and also explore around.

Ate KFC 2-piece meal, an improvement from the usual 3-pieces. Added a small coleslaw n diet coke. After that, I walked around JCube, before heading over to Jem. It has shops that you can find in town like H&M, Marks & Spencer's, Uniqulo and some other unique shops that meant one doesn't really have to travel all the way to town. Cos the west is not that near to town.

I ended up buying 2 packs of butter-mint sweets, a pack of potato chips recommended by Zuan. The exotic flavor with truffle oil. Then I went to the NTUC and ended up with salmon sushi. I find I am developing a taste for raw salmon, cos the last few times, I have been buying those boxed variety sushi that comes with salmon sushi n I rather enjoyed eating it with wasabi n soya sauce. This was my first box of pure salmon sushi. 

Went back to JCube and sat at the spectator stand for half hr, waiting for the movie to start and also read thru my own KM notebook to revise. 

The movie was amusing cos of Johnny Depp. It's a good movie to put your brain on the backseat. But I didn't realize the time until it ended. It was midnight! So I rushed out during the credits n hopped on this bus but it only dropped me halfway cos its those half service type. Manages to grab a cab that cos me $7. Ok, given I rather enjoyed the whole night out, exploring n watching movie.

Fri, I had to decide if I wanted to go KM. Met Tab n DF for sukiyaki dinner, ate lots of meat. Later we played Wii at the game lounge. That 2 hours felt really long playing Raving Rabbits - Time travel. No instructions n we felt stupid n old initially cos didn't know. Was kena trashed by them. Now I know I can't dance, think, run or fly... It was kinda fun and don't mind playing others.

Sat - went out with parents n sis to IMM for early lunch. Ate a karage n tempura soba bento plus a bowl of rice. My sis looked on as I ate and asked why add the rice. I told her I better eat it cos that's brunch, if just the soba bento alone, I might end up eating a plate of char quay tiao too, so the rice is a better option, can keep me fuller. Indeed, I felt full after. Bought a bunch of sundries at the Giants, didn't know they have Earl Grey Milk Tea for pokka. Tasted good. Also bought a black cheesecake cos it's Bamboo charcoal. It's okay, don't taste the bc, but the cheesecake is really lighter than the usual ones. I did end up eating some stuff like choc, blueberry crumble, the cheesecake and drinking Honey Jim Beam. Dinner was home-cooked. Definitely over-calories. Sunday also kinda ate a entire large bag of chips.

Make up on weekdays, lighter lunch and simpler dinners, until the weekends. Planned for 3 Adv KM classes. Really 临时抱佛脚 but no bian.

Epitome of discipline or just no life?

After 6 days of heavy eating out of 7, finally I broke the cycle by packing in sandwiches for breakfast and then lunch today. Granted not that healthy too cos one is Bak Gua with 2 slices bread (breakfast), other is pork floss with some butter on 2 slices (lunch). Dinner was a large bowl of fishball 老鼠 mee tai ba. I did drink 2 coffee, 1 caramel pudding 190ml for 110 cals to keep hunger at bay, and a power 鸳鸯 to wake up for KM class. The overall quantity of food I ate has decreased. Will continue this until Fri before dinner.

Grading is coming soon. So I had a pretty bad experience of going for my 1st Adv class under the kee hiong instructor. I went for the beginner class on Mon, and after that those course mates whom are down for grading asked if I was staying on for the Adv class for revision. I asked and it was 360 def. I decided not to stay cos it was only Monday and Tue was one of my heaviest days, so I told them I'll try on Tue instead. I msged for class and said I might join the Adv class after beginner. Would decided then cos depends on the body, can tahan or not.

This time, there's 5 beginners so we were asked to practice 360 def and inner def, adding to what we did in the beginner class of inner def 2 rhythm. So it was intense. But we could revise more stuff. So despite doing 2 warm-ups, at least it was more fruitful. Bathed in sweat, more than the usual. Will try to attend more of the adv classes possible.

Went home and ate my late dinner of Fishball noodles n milo. Filling. Bathed and shampooed the hair. Paste plasters on the sore bruised spots on my forearms which includes top and bottom cos did both inside and outside def.

Wed is my Chinese doctor visit, will rest up though I was thinking of going for the adv classes more. Mixing in beginners class too. Just to get used to the later timing of the adv class and the fatigue level, hunger levels too. So by Tue, I went for "3" sessions, a double, today and a single yesterday.

Thur I would go again, maybe 1 or double. Maybe try an Adv class and also try to go this Sat morning too. Just to mix it up and also follow course mates who at going for that. Easier when you have a sparring partner of your level. That would make it a total of 5 sessions over 4 visits in a week, a new record. My most was 3 separate sessions.

It really looks like either I have no life or leading a disciplined life... Think if u intensify up until grading, after it, will take it a bit easier...at least it whips me up in shape. Consciously it reminds me to rein-in the eating cos I do feel a bit heavier on my feet, so will try to control and get back in shape before grading. 2.5 weeks to go.

Gorging myself... 4 days consecutively

Not good for my waistline...

This week's KM lessons didn't drive away the blues cos I didn't learn much under the kachong and kee hiong instructor twice in 2 days. I left the Adv class feeling very sian. The supposed revision that adv class would do is not at all helpful. More adv techniques and not taught properly... I kena hit in the head by some guys bridging over. Sprained wrist felt worse. Tuesday, I rolled eyes when I saw the same instructor. Luckily I have already learnt that technique before. Dunno how but I suspect someone hit me in the head and I felt a bump on the back... WTF, lemme find that f^>~* and will knee him in the groin. I suspect someone. Will KIV.

That night, I went over to the Maxwell food centre and dabaoed 16 饺子, 8 锅贴, a medium plate of noodles, 2 big packs of big sweet n sour seafood tofu soup. Reached home and polished off 3 锅贴, 5饺子, a pack of the seafood tofu meat soup and half of the noodles. That's despite me eating a 8-piece sushi and an onigiri earlier before.

Wed dinner, I dabaoed Indian Rojak (a lot) and 2 packs of mutton soup. I heated up the earlier leftover from the night before. I finished off the sweet n sour soup, 5 锅贴, 3饺子, leftover noodles and ate a third of the Indian rojak, plus 1 pack of the mutton soup. Later on around midnight, I munched on another serving of the Indian rojak.

Thurs, I dabaoed Fried Chicken Bryani, and ate with the leftover Indian rojak. Later at night, I finished off the Indian rojak.

Friday, after marking the exam papers, OTed until 6.30pm, I dabaoed Curry Chicken Bryani. Just ate all of it. Seems okay until u know that I ate Malay Nasi Padang for lunch, which serves a big mountain of rice, with 1 veg, 1 chicken wing, spiced liver and heart.

Will try to rein-in this eating which is like stress-induced. Luckily my mom's coming back tomorrow. Would have to eat Subway and noodles and porridge for another 2 weeks or so. My sprained wrist is still not fully healed... so not doing any exercise at home. Hmm see how.

Haze sickness

Been having a dry throat from the haze since it started reaching much higher levels from Wednesday. It's one of the reason, why I didnt go for KM on Thurs. Dont feel good enough. By Saturday, after the new epic high, I woke up to a dry and hurting throat. It felt like a sharp knife is cutting everytime I swallow. Decided to see the docs. Had to wait quite a while and got antibiotics, cough mixture and a zinc based lozenges. Thanks to the antibiotics, this morning was much better but I got a side migraine instead... I suspect that it's haze-induced.

Went out to buy breakfast for me and Dad cos my mom and both sisters are holidaying in China. I gotta look after the house. Its kinda tough to not have air-con with this type of haze. The best I could do was to stay in the room with both doors and windows closed and the fan switched on. Today I have been staying outside in the living room longer, that might explain it. Though the PSI started being lower than 100, now that I look outside, it seems really bad. Maybe not a 400 but definitely above 100, cos I could hardly see certain buidings in the distance. Think today is going to get worse.

After breakfast, I made a cup of coffee and drank it to see if the migraine was due to 'coffee addiction', within a short while it got better but still lingered. Feeling very hot and sweaty and harder to breath today. Think after this, will shower and hide in the room. Maybe later on, I shall go and hide in an air-con mall instead.

Haze, unexpected break n work

Of my classes, there's one which is lacking periods cos of the earlier event. Hence I've been trying to hang in there especially this week, so they don't miss any lessons, even as the haze worsens and I feel myself being affected.

Thursday morning the haze was quite bad that when I reach the workplace, decided to use the cloth mask Tab gave me. All students were issued surgical masks and told to wear them and they are to stay in the air-conditioned classrooms at all times. Colleagues were also told to wear masks. By noon, it had gotten worse that just that short walk between the office n classroom felt uncomfortable without a mask.

I wore the black cloth mask with Chinese characters at the side when I walk between classes outside but once I am inside, I chose to take it off. Cos already get too many stares. Kinda obvious cos everyone is in surgical masks except for me... But the mgt when she came to pass us each a surgical mask didn't object when I showed her what I would be using. So I don't think I broke any rules. 

Just that really tio stared at a lot... Some students commented 'cool', 'look like ninja', 'yakuza'...and even asked where I bought it. Told them it was a gift from Taiwan.

The next day, lessons are cancelled... And I didn't have to go in at all BUT that class was affected... Urgh so I decided to  go in today to type up some notes so they don't have to copy and hopefully I can squeeze in 2.5 lessons stuff in the 2 remaining lessons. We were given an N95 mask each by evening time so ends the reign of the black cloth mask. 

Today the haze reached a new high of 401 while I was working on the notes. I brought both masks home and wore it when I have to go outside the air-con office. I dabao Lor Bee Hoon Mee inside thinking that it'll be better for me to finish with, eat my lunch in then go home. 

3 Curious male colleagues saw what I was eating and asked about it. They love prawn noodles. I couldn't describe fully cos of language barrier so while eating, I put together a simple Word doc with pic of a stall with the sign 卤面 and the dish itself. Added in the ingredients list eg black sauce, egg, beansprouts, fried fish bits. Vinegar and garlic added, can dont add chilli. Wrote in simple English with large fonts. Then typed in the names to order such as Lor Mee, Lor Bee Hoon, Lor Kway Tiao and added a pic of the 3 different types of noodles. Printed it out in color and handed to them, explained what it is, how to find the stall, the names to order n can say no chilli. They happily say they'll try it out.

I decided to go for my 3rd KM in the evening. It's indoors, better than my home. Since I could afford the time n energy, try to maximize my 1st package, which is until the end of June. Plus grading is coming, I was contemplating going for the adv class yesterday but was tired on Wed, left wrist still not fully recovered. It's okay with the wrist support on but if taken out, can feel its not normal yet.

After I reached home, relaxed and played the guitar in the room. Kept windows closed and fan on. It's been a while since I had to luxury of time to play. Found the chords of a song I kinda liked and tried to play it, listening and adding in some strumming patterns for the chords, sounds pretty decent. Fingers are sore due to the high fret action of my budget guitar but it felt good. Watched some videos and mapped for an hour. Woke up to get ready for KM.

This is Week 10 of the first term. I still have 6 weeks to go including rushing to finish for that one class n exam marking... Sometimes I wonder how much more of this routine can I take? 

The stock market is reeling and falling. I should pay attention to any good buy opportunities so that I can earn more passive income, fill my coffers before I can contemplate whether to move on...

For now it's one-day-at-a-time, followed by one-week downed. Throat is getting sore at this point and my voice is affected, lower than before.

Slash Defense & My Grading

After dinner at Paragon, Quet and I spent some time walking inside. We emerged close to 10pm and headed over to Cineleisure cos it would be still open then. We saw a really large pool of blood at the entrance, cordoned off by police with a crowd peering on. We headed inside but looked as we walked on. Could smell the metallic twang of blood. There were some splatter on the entrance door but no sight of the victim. We wondered and speculated later if anyone died... 

It turned out that about 7-9pm time, a gang incident happened. A whole gang slashed up an NS guy cos they didn't like the way he walked. Confronted him at the back part Cineleisure and chased and slashed him as he turned to walk away.

That we only found out the next day on the news. We walked about Scape, there's Astons inside now, and landed in Toastbox for a poached egg n drink. Quet kindly drove me home. It's nice to get home earlier.

Then on Monday, I went for KM and due to this incident, our instructor decided to teach us 'defense against slash'. He did mention that the guy should have turned and run, so even if chased by assailants, many pairs of eyes will notice the commotion n be eye-witness and can seek help also instead of staying still n nobody will notice until you collapse and none-the-wiser. 

Of course with just one lesson, can't use this in real-life. Running away seems to be the best option. (I didn't ask what if ya are not a fast runner or have much stamina and kena chased down?) Cos I seemed to be the slowest runner in the warm-ups. Always kena tapped on the shoulder by the rest. 

I ended up clearing away my work blues on Monday but with a sore left wrist and a huge bruise on my outer right forearm. Pasted plasters and kena stared at work, asked questions about it, joked by some... the usual

Went for KM today feeling super super blue. Work is really tiring n I am getting fed-up. KM revived me. Today is basic atks, with a new bursting elbow. It is effective. After class, felt so much better, like no more troubles for now until the next day. 

Was told to gather after class regarding grading. The date is tentatively decided, I have a month before it. Advised to go for Advance class cos they are revising the grading stuff. In a sense it's good cos the advance class starts much later, so work won't affect it. Possible for me to have light dinner before. But on the other, if I leave from work, I'll have to find a place to hang until class. Preferably not too expensive and convenient. Have to see how. Hope my body is okay, then Thur, I'll go for my first Adv class and do some recee.

Tomorrow is kinda heavy, really want to have a break. The haze is affecting my throat n I am just kinda sick of being constantly tired, sleepy and unmotivated and also seeing bored faces, cos it's both ways... Scheduled sinseh visit and rest time.

Want the weekends to come... But next week is exam, and after that is more lessons =(

Sleeping on the floor

Today I woke up at 7am plus cos the sun was super bright. I thought it was 8-9am but it wasn't. Tried to go back to sleep to no avail, it was super hot. These days I have to sleep with the fan on at night. The past couple of nights were hotter, that I put it on speed 2 instead of the usual speed 1.

Munched a bit of mixed nuts. Went out for my brunch about 11am, ate charsiew plus roasted duck rice n a serving of pig stomach soup. It's filling but higher calories. Didn't feel like eating noodles. But I reached home still got munchies. Ate 4 squares of chocolate n half handful of mixed nuts. Munchies...

Reading comics and drank a cup of Honey Jim Bean plus air soda water. Drank half n I fell into blissful slumber on the cool floor tiles with the fan blowing.

Woke up to drink the other half, saw Quet's msg for dinner. Still felt okay, not too hungry, so despite having nuts n lots of chips n choc, I controlled n resisted. Hopefully will have seats at SoupSpoon. Already decided what to eat.

My sprained hip is almost healed, left wrist is almost ok. Think I should start light exercise at home, too indulgent n lax recently. Fitness-wise, think still maintained cos can do the KM warm-up but feel a bit heavier. Arms not as toned though, not doing dips due to sprained wrist; strength-wise, generally okay but I think my maxed no of push-ups have fallen. 

I think I need to exert some sort of control over parts of my life that I can, cos this year has been so hectic such that I feel like I'm hurtling and spiraling out of control at times, be it my workout, inspiration and motivation at times.

The bus just past Vivo, about halfway there. Bus journeys gives me time to think at times. 

Subway Dinner Replacement

Started my 'subway 1-meal replacement' plan again. No thanks to my slightly tighter pants. I stepped on the weighing scale this morning, I am up by 2kg... So gotta first tame the eating habits.

Yesterday and today, I went to Subway to eat a sandwich for dinner. I chose the lower calories one such as Ham, Roasted Chicken Breast. They have a bunch of low-calories ones and it remains low if I dont add cheese. All the vegetables, no jalapeno, honey mustard sauce, with or without a diet drink. About 300-340 calories.

Though yesterday I still ate half a bowl of rice and steamed chicken later on, there was more conscious control. So the plan is to keep to this for 1-2 weeks. It would be cheaper to make my own sandwich, but thinking that its just $5.50 for a short 1-2 weeks, so I ask myself, if my waistline is worth $80? My answer is definitely. So to save up, I shouldnt eat extravagantly outside, sometimes I spend up to $50 on a meal with drinks. So just 1-2 less meals outside would suffice.

My right hip is slightly twisted just by sitting on the floor... so my back is aching and my right butt is aching too. I did that on Monday at home... not even from KM. So after it acted up, I put on lots of plasters but still aches. Sore that I didnt feel up to doing my 3rd KM this week. Decided to go home, rest up. Left wrist is still slightly twisted, not fully recovered. Decide to let them rest so that they have time for recovery. No point pushing and aggravating the injuries.

Last night, I fell asleep earlier and woke up alert at 9pm, but could sleep without drinking any alcohol by 12.30am. so that's great news on breaking the reliance on it to get a peace of mind or relax.

Today's Friday but think no one is free. Traveling during this hols but I am the one still working. So bo bian, also wanna travel but that Taiwan food scare kinda dashed my plans. I was thinking of Taiwan. See how, no other plans to travel. Mine is still far, far away... For now, lemme focus on my bulging waist line and rein in.

For now I am really glad it's Friday. I was literally zombified. It's really sleeping inside while outside my eyes are open. Really not alert and always sleepy. Too much. Just when I thought if any longer, I might really end up on mc, it's Friday already and its over. Sigh... just really glad the week is over. I'll see if my calories allow for a drink later on. Or if not just sleep more and sleep late sounds good enough.  

Alarm Bells blaring

Ironed my smaller-sized khakis and put it on. It seemed tighter n not as loose, became like fitting with a little bit of slack whereas last time was looser with more slack....

... Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is an obvious sign I put back on some weight until its obvious enough via the smaller pants. I can wear it still but it became more fitting.Sigh... I've gotta rein in my eating especially nowadays due to work stress, so after work I ate more, when I go out with friends or even when I'm at home or even eat before going home. A heartier dinner, and lunch too for weekends. Think too much of good food. 

N the alcohol. The stress makes me wanna get a drink. Been drinking the Korean rice beer, Nest beer, Tiger beer & snacking. Eating chocolate or a bunch of mixed nuts too. 

And my left wrist is still not fully recovered from the sprain n my right hip is sprained. Not from KM but just from sitting on the floor at home on Monday. Really old liao. So I have been pasting medicated plasters. But it's kinda affecting me, I don't think I am up for the 3rd KM this week. Hope they will clear up soon so that I can try to do some workout at home or go for extra KM to increase the amount of exercise.

For now, starting since this morning, I  consciously trying to make good food choices, control excessive eating. Have to... I am past the age where I can eat anything without repercussion.

Tonight no alcohol n snacking first.

What I do on an off-day

Just had a work event last Saturday, so got Monday off.

Guess what I end up doing on these rare off-days. Mundane and routined stuff. Smsed for a Krav Maga lesson so that meant I would be going out in the early evening.

Woke up a bit later, though I woke up at my usual time and just lazed around in bed. Cant go back to sleep. Went next door to eat breakfast, which is Char Siew and Roasted Duck rice plus coffee. Headed to Sheng Siong and bought a bunch of rubbish... 2 big bars of chocolate, 4 big packs of Kettle Chips, and a dozen small-pack low fat milk. Really mundane.

In the afternoon, I was thinking of going to the central to return library books and also buy some stuff such as the Korean Rice beer and toiletries. Dunno if I would use the opportunity to head out. Still got newspaper cutting to do. Better clear that before I head out.

Used the time now to open up my unopened letters, mainly bills and statements. Read and sort through. Went online to check my stock portfolio and cpf balances. And its only 11.18am. Still got time to do stuff.
_______________________

Recently I havent been watching Tv and that meant time kinda pass slowly, yet being tired a lot and sleeping, meant time passed quickly then. But I feel very little constructive stuff is done.

Stepped on the weighing scale this morning, and luckily I still maintained the bulk of my weight loss. The max loss was 12kg. But due to my sometimes decadent eating especially on Fri, Sat and Sun, I put back up to 2kg back on. Still on 10kg weight loss. I do rein-in on weekdays to balance off those days of excessive eating and drinking. Still at my uni weight. Phew. Though I am not counting calories anymore, I try to rein-in over the next week if I have been eating too much. Will try to maintain this and try to go lower still, stomach still a bit flabby and arms are getting a bit softer from the reduced conditioning. The good thing is I havent bulked up.

My left wrist is still sprained, not fully recovered, hence hard to restart my conditioning cos its more resistance training. Dont want to aggravate it. So KM for now will do. They have another 6 months package promotion. Its much cheaper and I can save a lot more. My current one is ending June. So if I take it up, I'll be going until end Dec. That's a commitment. At times I feel like slacking off due to laziness but I always remind myself that if I slack, I would stagnate.

Life is kinda stagnating if there's nothing to improve upon, nothing to look forward to. I try to remind myself of the earlier days where I stagnated a lot and that it was the courses that I kept to that made my life more interesting. And the level of inspiration that it brings to me personally. KM for now has helped me upkeep my weight-loss, maintained my health and energy levels. I think without it, I would be still my rather fat and tired self from before. So I am going to take it up, pay for it and this time try to go for 2-3 times a week instead of the current twice a week to maximize it and also to offset for times if I decide to travel or have some things on, then the number of classes somewhat balances off.

If I can lower my monthly expenditure on KM, then it opens up the opportunity for me finacially to pay for the music course that would cost me about $150 pm. I am still toying with the idea of drums but given the time, maybe I should go for the guitar one first. Partly so that I don't neglect guitar. No time during cca time to practice cos got to teach the beginners. So for me, my guitar is stagnant. Hmm... most likely will put it on weekend, cos weekdays are taken up by KM. Think music can inspire me also. Last year I drew a lot of inspiration from what I did and my experiences. Something refreshing would help me, personally to pull out of this blue-ish period of time. Ironically I have partly gotten a bit used to it but not entirely.

On the extra income part, not good. Stocks not doing that good to pay me much. Less than $1.2k gains so far, and soon it'll be halfway into the year. Dont think I will go back to doing a side-line cos I want the time to pursue those courses and for myself. I remind myself that $1k is equivalent to doing 4 months of side-line, 2hrs twice a week. So that's good enough for me as that. The stock market started moving but before it could go higher, it went downwards. So just continue to wait until its low enough to buy or high enough to sell. Nothing in my portfolio is getting much capital appreciation. Just some dividends, hence the lowered gains. Just have to be patient then.