Background is that poorly planned and executed and left hanging there that in that one week leading up to the exams, I was still running around. And just before exams, I have to finish stuff with my classes, frantically checking their books, and there was an Open Day of sort and she asked for an activity for 10mins which to me, lacking inspiration and damn hetic schedule this year meant none. I managed something for her in the end, and I even led that part. Neglecting my own lessons cos used up my inspiration and time to make that.
Immediately after the exams, I was still frantically checking books and returning cos lessons would resume almost immediately after the exams. I used all my free periods to do so, still can't finish this year due to having more periods.
At this time, FE started these two lessons which were based on her culture, which to me, meant that you should know it better. I don't think I should have to conduct the lesson, so I stood and checked my books while the two of them conducted, helping to keep an eye here and there. But that wasn't good enough for her. After I had 'seen' them conduct the same thing twice, she asked me to conduct it, I told her it's her culture. She offered to continue it, which I replied ok.
But I wanted to trash things out with her after but I had a number of lessons and couldn't fun her in my sole free period. I wanted to let her know that I have been enduring the irritation at the video project which I still have to do, and this whole leading the lesson role. I was kinda worked up and during lunch at the long table, I remarked that I am damn unhappy.
Next thing I know during my free period, while I couldn't find the FW, MW who is like the Dept head wants to speak with me. My voice got louder and louder as I told him about what is happening at FW's lessons. The frustration and extra work for the video project that is still on-going, which I haven't mentioned a single word to FW cos I am enduring and trying to finish it.
This hoo-ha about me not wanting to lead. I told him two reasons, it's just after the exams, I can't finish the books despite me using all my extra free time, and secondly, it's her culture, she can explain it better than I can. I see no point in reading aloud and she translating. There is no sense. I told him honestly, I am not the lead, my role is supportive yet I have helped her a lot and almost led in every single class cos I have showed a lot of consideration towards her but she hasn't shown me one bit of consideration. She knows the whole exam deal with the books. I could clear it last year cos my teaching load was lighter. This year with the heavier load, just this short period of time, just before and after exams, no consideration. WTF lor! He did get one point down was that she didn't know how hard I and the other was working for that video project and still doing. I told him to talk to her cos in my current state then, I would shout at her instead. He was worried I would show my anger towards students which I told him I am professional, I won't.
I left on time, went for a double session of KM and felt so much more at peace after. There was no time at all to even think of anything else except what was happening right in front of me. I reached home spent. Slept soundly and the the next day I went to work and that day I didn't have lessons with her. One more day to calm down though I was already calmed then.
And so for those two sets of lessons, I didn't have to lead. I just cleared some work and kept an eye.
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