Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Almost... there.... til public holiday

Hungry after work.

Its been a long day. Marking, teaching, last minute revision... plus frantic teaching. Get the picture.

I dabaoed 2 stacks again. (If you were wondering, the 4 stacks from before, completely untouched over the weekend... I went in much earlier on Monday and managed to finish one stack)

This 2, I try (to the most of my remaining humanity)to do some. Tom down for marking again. In case you r wondering. Its marking of the exam papers. Next week is the main papers. Now is the Paper 1. The work I dabaoed, is have to give back for revision, tom is the last day I can do that. Have to try that.

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Went to BK to makan. I decided then and there that if I had worked so hard. The least I can do is to eat something when I am hungry. Instead of taking a long ride home, endure the hunger for 1hr+ then reach home to eat. To make it "more healthy" that being oximoronic.

How can fast food be healthy?

Well, I ordered the Whopper Meal.
No upsize.
Onion rings
Diet coke

The fact is that alot of calories are in the sweet drinks. Making a meal of fast food easily more than 1000 calories.

The whopper comes with lots of onions, lettuce, tomatoe and pickles. Its quite a wholesome meal in that aspect. Bread- carbohydrates, Patty- protein.

Also while eating the onion rings. After a couple, I found it quite tasteless cos the flour quite thick. So got an inspiration. Pulled away the outer layer of flour banter until there is only the inner ring of onion left. And ate that.

By the time I was done, had a small mountain of fried flour banter piled up. Flour tends to absorb lots of oil. Eating less of it is still better.

Of course on the long term, dun eat too much fast food or consume drinks with artifical sweeteners, are harmful to the body.

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To make the upcoming public holiday enjoyable. Irregardless of whether tom dog-tired, zombie mode or what. I intend to go out to jalan a bit after work. Its the least I can do.

Thursday intend to go to the gym (early in the morning. ClubFitt from 9-5pm on public holiday) to try to up the gym session to twice a week. So far been been mantaining for 6weeks.

A yahoo article a few days back mentioned that the more stressed one is, the more cannot conveniently skip the exercise routine. Cos the body needs it for well being. Exercise releases anti-stress hormones etc. Point taken. Will try to stick to it.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Things I want to do (when I am bond-free)

"What will you do once you quit?"

Its a question everybody asks and an pressing one at the back of my head. Well its not like I am not employable or what. Its not something I am going to think about too in depth cos there is still a substantial length of time to pass first. Given each working day can be a LONG, LONG day. Time seems to pass ultra-slowly...

Well after my gym workout, my thoughts were swirling in my brain. Thinking about some things that I WANT to do, once its over, ie if quit near the end of the year, instead of in the middle. Cos by then bdae, ohami season all over. The list goes, not in any order of importance or doing.

1) Dye my hair.
Its going to be almost 5 years since I've dyed my hair (counting from the end of bond date) Yar not getting younger anymore. I want my highlighted streaks. Even considering going blond? Just to say to myself, "Been there, done that."

2) Go pick up driving finally. (chances are wont crash into the tree)

3) Go for a packaged tour to say Japan during the Ohanami season. (drink sake under the Sakura trees, yar also fulfil the drinking of sake 'one of these days')

4) Hang around places like the Esplanade or loiter the Marina area from morning til nite on a working Monday. (sipping juice/GTL, whilst the rest rush to work)

5) Go laze around my bro's place for a few weeks to 'slow down' the clock. Yar we are always rushing around. Time to take things slow for a change. What better to do it than at Msia.

6)Go chill in some farm stay in Australia? Look at the night skies?

7) Catch up with my lack of sleep and do some serious eye bag recovery, ie sleep until the sun burns a hole in the butt and the cows come home from grazing.

8) I dunno, just do about anything that I felt like doing, without having a time limit at the back of mind to be mindful of work days. Well not all will involve money.

Money admittedly is a main factor to consider. If pia thru an extra 1.5yrs to get the Carrot. I have decided that I will spend ALL of it. Imagine, having to bao shua bao hai to finally get it after 4.5yrs. Its high time to live it up and do something for your sorry self by then. That is IF I decide to go through with it. The 'push' factors are getting way more powerful than the 'pull' factors.

Oh well for now, lemme continue to day-dream about the things and add onto the list. Lemme just 'wish' and 'ignore' the 4 stacks of markings that I have dabaoed and is yet untouched now. 2 stacks kinda more urgent. Yar but I dun have the mood to open it. I am delaying it until maybe after a late nap, then I'll kick my butt to do it.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Its too Humid and Cold *cough, cough*

Another day where I swear the weather is trying to kill me.

Another hot, sunny turned cold, humid and rainy day. I took the precaution of wearing a sleeveless shirt beneathe my usual, plus wearing my jacket. So I am wearing 4 layers, bra, sleeveless, shirt plus jacket! Was okay until the weather turned.

Then hecking like nobody's biz. I swear one of these days, will cough out a piece of lung.

Kinda of a long day, and didnt want to stay on to mark despite having to finish by tom (tom go in earlier to mark) I headed down to Orchard cos I missed the connecting bus. It just zoomed off, when I got off the bus in my first leg of 3 changeovers. Heck. Since the bus to town zoomed by just a minute later, I just hopped on it. By then the sky was dark. Felt cold.

Settled for warm soup. Couldnt finish my usual order, though didnt order grande. Felt cold after sipping half the ice lemon tea and just left it. Headed to Aussino to see if I could get that 19.90 quilt that my mom wanted. But dun have the size.

Walked to PS, sipping a grande cup of hot Green Tea Latte. Its heavenly. Warms the cold chest. Keep on having chills in the chest, despite covering up. There is something there, pressing inside or what and the discomfort is there 24/7 since sunday. Wish Friday is over soon. Havent finish studying jap yet... Need to frantically study. Sensei is on mc today.

Yar over at PS, DUN have the 19.90 or 29.90 quilt. WTF? That's it, decided to go home. Sms Candle to help me lookout for it. If I can, will go over to the Paragon one to check through for the 29.90 one... Sian. In the meantime, I reached home near 9pm, bathed and stoned infront of the laptop which dunno why? my 100mps connection suddenly reduced to dial-up speeds. Switched on and off a few times still lidat.

My bed's calling. I dun want tom to come. Have to go in earlier to mark. It sucks.

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Work sucks.
Working sucks.
Working life sucks.

This reminds me, during gym last Sunday I met my JC friend, L. We were surprised to meet in the gym. She had shifted to my area. A coincidence indeed. She's been going there for 5+ months every Sunday, a fixed timing. But for me, I just started 5weeks. Sometimes Saturday, sometimes Sunday. Timing is flexible. We ended our workout and headed for lunch.

She mentioned that working in the long run is not really what she envisioned herself to be doing (she's an accountant btw) but her passion cant bring in the income. Yet cannot live without the income or got comfortable with a certain standard of income. Oh well at least I am not alone in that aspect. Did try to give her some ideas to explore about her real passion. And to help deprogramme her. Kept saying, its difficult, its hard, statistic shows... Our minds are easily fooled. Have to say "Can try, possible, doeable" and not let the mind be clouded by self doubts.

Try not to form an opinion on things that you are not sure about. I am thinking of a biz related to education. Still in infancy, but exploring when my mind permits. Not sure at this point how to go about it. But dun feel powerless at the prospect of being unemployed or having to change job. The fears are still there.

At most quit, take a long break, then reapply back when I am well rested to face the trials of another 3-4 years. The consideration at this point in time is still on the stay or not stay longer for the Carrot? The factors are health, sanity, satisfaction, energy levels, personal free time.

Unlike Tab, whose feeling more settled, I am still rattling the cage.

Oh well, to each his own.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Feeling crap physically, mentally

Warning - Another potential work rant post



Feeling kinda crap physically for the past few days. Even today, the weather is killing me. Very hot and sunny in the afternoon, then morphing into rain clouds and eventual downpour. While I am fine with the sky dropping life-giving water. I am not fine with the humidity. The dampness in the air triggered a very severe coughing fit with lots of mucus. It didnt add to my well-being, just having slightly recovered from the relapse of the flu.


Work-wise, another crap but mentally. Lets just say its that time of the year again, the one that starts with E, X, A, M. Just about to start or the starting of the session. And the time where Educators are stressed to do/finish last minute teaching/revision etc. Being very sick, away for a couple of days really affects this preparation. Suddenly there is really not much time left and the firefighting begins. Not to mention you go back blur blur and the students are even worse, blur or not bothered. Just fish them. Tom have to go about massive work. Dunno if watashi no karada wa dekimasu kana?

Yar to top if off, Jap test on-coming this Sat. Finished one chapter but like nothing left in my brains from the 'holes-in-the-brain' theory.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I lost the battle...

Despite my valiant effort of wrapping myself up, drinking my cough mixture and drinking lots of fluid.

I had a rough night.

Kept awake by the discomfort in the chest. My nose was blocked and my throat parched. I keep on drinking water but its very uncomfortable. I would sleep and wake, sleep and wake due to the discomfort.

This morning I woke up, with fever and a forming headache. *throws in towel* and called up for mc.

Took a panadol and slept. Woke up better. At least my head is not aching, no longer feverish. Now having lots of mucus, sore throat and stuff associated with flu.

Seeing the doctor later around 3pm.

No chance to go sign up for my guitar course, as originally intended for today. Unless I try to brave going out in my state. But dun want to worsen it or even be accidentally seen... Guess will have to do that tom if I am fit enuff or wed.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sick again...

Dunno how but I am suffering a relapse of the flu again. On Sat, on my way to Jap class, I started having a coughing spell. Coughing non-stop throughout the remaining day. By the time I reached home, it had errupted to another vomit session (bloody waste of food) and a sharp cold feeling in my chest. Glupped cough syrup and went to sleep. Wrapping myself under the quilt.

Woke up and the coughing spell has abated. Still there but much better. Only now my throat feels like shit. Been coughing real hard only to get tiny bits of yellowish phelgm (gross) but luckily no phelgm cake. Somehow I didnt feel to shit that I could go to the gym, given I didnt go last week. Met a friend and had lunch together.

After coming back though, slept in the late afternoon. Woke up feeling worse though. Throat really feels parched. Can feel the imflamation in my respiratory tract. My nose half blocked, coughing, throat sore, chest feels uncomfortable.

Sian, see how tom, or if I can fight it off. Been drinking water and sucking lozenges.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Phelgm cake strikes

Am on MC due to having a phelgm-cake episode. This time while I was working. (ask me personally for the icky details, if you really wanna know)

Basically after that, I had to come home, though I had intended to finish off some other work and marking. Didnt feel well, and went to see the doctor and got one day mc.

To trace the origins and beginnings of this phelgm cake episode. It went back to the time of NIE. One day, whilst Tab wasnt around. Think it was nearing the end of NIE, Tab moved back or wasnt around. I had a bout of coughing and eventually something came out. Basically when it comes out, its one continous piece *gross* Yar and since it came out in one continous clump (usually more than what both my hands can cup), I couldnt stop it. So it ended up on the floor. A big pile of phelgm, termed phelgm-cake by my brother when I told them what happened.

Since then, there are at least 5 other times when it happened. Basically I am just having a bout of coughing then the next thing I know, a huge clump of phelgm just comes pouring out. If unfortunately I have eaten something, sometimes a bit of food comes out with it *kinda disgusting*

Yar so it happened yesterday, only this time there are many who saw it and its after-effects on the floor. Sian. Had to clean up and settle then I went back home.

Asking the chinese sinseh what it was, he mentioned is some sort of stomache glue or possibly phelgm which the body can produce. Asked the GP, he says could be the phelgm that is produced when the respiratory tract is inflammed.

But this year alone, this is the 2nd time already. The other time happened while I was getting ready to go to work. Didnt feel well after that but I still went to work.

I remember the NIE once, once near Moe (whilst on course, but walking in so coughed out onto the grassy sidewalk), once in the toilet of workplace, once in my own home toilet and now once while working.

This is getting fairly serious. A normal person goes around coughing out bits of phelgm but phelgm cakes? Am monitoring and see in a couple weeks time, to go and follow up with the xray.

Monday, April 14, 2008

My golden coins pillow and quilt cover

Tada!!! My golden coins theme quilt cover and pillow case. Courtesy of Aussino sale which will last until end of April.



Yar almost forgot about putting up the pics, being so engrossed with lines on my face >_> Yar for now I am dabbing lots of hazaline and massaging it a bit. See if I can keep this routine up.

Anyway I am seriously still waking to strike BIG prize esp in Toto, to quit. Yar maybe I should complete the 'power' of the coins by buying the bedsheet set as well? Today my mom changed her mind and wanted me to get some pillows and another quilt plus quilt cover set. Candle, we need to go shopping again. PS?

The day I had lines on my face or more specifically, the day I noticed that there are lines on my face

Today I just happened to look into a mirror on my table and noticed something alarming.

When I lift my eyebrows, I saw slight lines just above my eyebrows.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

K maybe I didnt exactly reacted that way. But in my mind, I was like thinking 'Hey no way, I am getting lines... I know I am getting older but lines?'

Emergency sms to friends. Replies include, go for facial, go buy Anti ageing cream, not to frown so much, its part of growing old, the package. Geezz I didnt feel any better leh.

Not that I am vain or what, but more like didnt expect to see lines lor. The bright side is those are rather shallow and short lines. Maybe I should start applying some moisturizing cream to my forehead too. Didnt exactly put any hazaline there.

Signz but its true its inevitable that as one grows older, the 'railway tracks' would be added to the face. K I shall try to include some collagen-rich food into my diet. BUT I dun think I am that old yet though. Better frown less and put more cream on face >_> Yar later going next door to look for some facial cream.

First I get fat, then noticed a strand of white hair (which I pulled out some time back) and now I got shallow lines just above my brows. This is seriously not how I intended for this job. The occupational hazards are too dire. Also didnt exactly expect myself to 'grow old' in this line. Yar growing old faster... if my blood pressure and sugar levels are anything to gauge especially after a lesson. Luckily I am low-blood pressure, otherwise would have set off something liao.

Sobz sobz I better start taking better care of myself from today onwards.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Soulmate & ramblings

For all lonely hearts out there, there is a song which captures it really well.

This song has been out for quite a while. Not sure if you've heard it before.

Natasha Bedingfield - Soul Mate



Soulmate lyrics

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone


This idea of having a soulmate is an ideal dream, though there are lucky ones who found one in their lifetime, whilst others search and waited and found no one.

Current mood: Sickly
My stomache was acting strange since yesterday's breakfast. Mee siam and soya bean milk drink whilst I was out on something work related. When the event ended, I hung around chinatown area. My stomach was rumbling non-stop but was still physically okay. Had energy to walk about still, though I felt the effects of the long day on friday plus late night of sleeping plus waking up damn early on Sat morning for the event. Up until after Jap still okay. Was really tired. Was shutting my eyes inbetween the lesson to sort of do some power rest. Yet the stomach rumbling didnt abate. By the time after dinner, felt the onset of a headache which came and disappeared briefly. Decided to go home, the long journey home seemed longer. Reached home and slept.

Woke up this morning feeling slightly better though my stomach still felt queasy. After lunch and watching CableTV, fatiqute caught up and went back to sleep. Woke up to the fact that Sunday is almost 2/3 gone. Didnt feel well enough to go to the gm. Stomach still funny. Felt tired still. Maybe take MC if tom still like this.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Kinda pissed off at the moment

Current mood is: Royally Pissed off.

Have been trying to burn a audio CD for work and have unable to do so despite spending more than 2+ hrs burning. I even walked next door to buy 2 new CD-R but all couldnt burn properly. Ended up with partial burn then the CDs rendered useless. WTBF! Wasted my time, effort and money.

Murphy's Law: Whatever will go wrong, WILL go wrong.

Recently the stress, mental fatique, sian-ness has reached unprescendented levels. On my way to work, I am doing looking at the remaining bond time. On my way, I am typing down the current thoughts in my head on my hp and just saving thesinside.

Mon - Just save more then dun have to stay any longer once its over.

Tue - What do you want to do? Basically a 9-5pm job, not bloody far from my home, where I can still have some time to do things I want after work. The nature of the job dun have to deal with clients directly.

Wed - What types of good or services to offer as a biz?

Thur - The main grouse of this job is that after a while, I feel stagnated. Things move in a predictable yearly cycle. Not learning much. Only more proscrinating. A lot of sacrifice of time and lots of effort. Its not what I seek in the long term. Dun think I can last thru til then. Health and sanity giving way first.

To top things up the way things are being planned is kinda inefficient. Many a times no budget. So got to 'test the creativity to the max' to try to put up things that dun cost lots of $$$, time and effort to prepare. Then wat about the main task? Left with not much time for it. Sucks big time. I am feeling kinda crap now cos of the failed and wasted effort plus 2hrs.. when I could have already been sleeping. Tom is a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg day indeed (got something up and sat also)

Look forward to the time of being bond-free (born free)

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Been sleeping, "covered by" piles of money

For the past 2 nights, I have been sleeping, covered by "piles of money".

Am I filthy rich yet?

Nope, though that is my dream.

The reality is that my new quilt cover for my new quilt, the theme is 'Lucky Coins'. Yep imagine a yellow cover with lots of Chinese coins printed in red all over. (Will put up the pics once I get hold of my sister's hp, she's still at work now)

Thanks to Candle who was refurnishing her room... I followed her to Aussino, bought a new pillow. Then decided later on to buy a quilt for myself since I always kapo my sister's one. Though she doesnt use it cos I am always the one dying from frost whereas they were complaining of being hot. We went down earlier this tuesday. Quite a good price though, $20 for the quilt and $19 for the quilt cover. And I quite like the theme. Though there were some themes there that really suited Tab (wordy theme) and Quetzal (shopping girly stuff theme), I was strongly reminded of them whilst looking around. The good news is the sale is up til the end of April. Go grab something for your good night's sleep. (goose feather pillows?)

Did I sleep better?
Overall I must say the pillow is good support cos though I still wake up due to other reasons, my neck feels comfortable even as I lay awake in bed. The quilt is kinda hot. These 2 nights are so warm, I use the quilt and keep kicking it, wake up and cover, then kick it again. Just last week was still so cold...

Yar hopefully sleeping under lots of "coins" will eventually bring me wealth ne (I wish)

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Today on my way to work. I felt again sian and unmotivated for work. Working blues or morning blues, I felt quite numb. Its not numb of work but more of numbing of my own feelings(strong feelings of dislike, dissatisfaction and stuff) More like a zombie, just going through the motions for work and even life. Then watching time just past by... Not what I wanted for life nor what I've envisioned my working life to be. Its kinda empty and meaningless. Cos, all for the sake of the $$$. (Maybe its just me and my demotivated, unsatsified self rambling on and on)

Yes when I reach the workplace, the 'work mode' will automatically switch on and I would go about being a busy Educator, teaching, marking, settling issues, admin work blah blah. Then after work, 'stoning mode' comes in on the long journey home. Reach home more 'stoning mode' cos now no more Mapling. Just logon and do a few things, update blog, read some stuff and then try to sleep... eventually waking up several times. The day's over like that. Hmm... think being a student was a more positive experience, things to look forward to, long holidays. Think I just need a few days of pure rest and completely no work or lesson.