I've realized that I am rather complainy these few days of work. Seriously it's feels lime an eternity despite being just into the 3rd day. Partly is lost the stamina for the longer workday, partly is still sleeping very late 1.30-2am and part is the grouse of work.
I think the whole waiting around with uncertainty, plus the joke of an increment, plus the whole 'negotiation' period when we had already stated areas of concern, and hopes for the pay change due to increase in work responsibilities. The mgt countered that as the workin hrs are the same, no change and despite repeated emphasis that it is the scope. That led to a stale-mate that a renegotiation, where they relented on the job title n pay increase is 'doubled' but that's a miserly amt of $100. We also relented by signing. With regards to eating out, the clarification is they understand (finally) that they can't force us to eat all the time but seeing how packed 2 days are, it would be easier to dabao in the morning. The other 2, I can go out to buy back and 1 day I can go out to eat, don't care... Basically last year didnt end off well and this year didn't start of that good. The contract was only finalized during midway of hols. I flew off to Taipei and completely forgot about it and flew back right back to uncertainty. Then the following mon, it was finalized.
The second reason for grouse, is the extremely poor planning. There is this class for communication which I took solo for 3 levels an hour in the week. Headless under the push from mgt came up with this plan to do a combined class with all the eng teachers of the level inside - 5 in class of less than 40. Can't explain what exactly is the Jap teachers plan the lesson and they execute. In a nutshell The whole bunch of Headless-es thought that all eng speaking teachers have the ability to understand the few instructions (5mins b4 class or the day b4) comprehend and then conduct the lesson with the minimal understanding. Basically that's what I had to do as an ALT. I had already anticipated a whole bunch of possible problems, be it in the execution by other eng- speaking teachers who have no idea of the eng syllabus because they teach non-core subject in pure Eng. Those are hands-on subjects like pe, home ec, art, music. Even without understanding all of the eng, can demonstrate and show. It's unlike how a language class is like. Headless took it upon herself to 'plan' the lesson. I must say based on what we saw earlier last year where the plan was in a few lines mentioning the theme, with no ws, versus what we saw this week where there's a suggested lesson flow with a ws, it's an improvement. BUT still not adequate cos there are vague instructions which leaves certain things to interpretation (having to plan and work through the interpretation IS planning) But with exception of us - the 2 ex-ALT, the other eng-speaking dont understand. They don't see what is their role in the lesson. Plus with 5 collegues in a class, it's quite zuo buo. Issues like the students might clam up, what's the point of having so many in the classroom, They also couldn't get a pay increase despite adding 4p and they were assured that they don't have to plan the lesson at all. Hence it falls to the main el teachers, 3 in a level n I am one of them. Dunno if I am officially involved in planning but as it is, I end up having to do extra already! In my level, I am slated to tske the first 2 lessons cos 2 are non-el eng speakers who have no clue, 2 are Jap who are not supposed to teach the lesson. So by elimination, it's me... Not that I didn't anticipate this outcome but fine I am going to do as minimal extra. Going to involve the rest to be facilitators for each small gp. At least everybody do something. Then I got to do up 2 extra resource that is not provided in the 'planning'. Kept it as simple as I could. Finished one yesterday. That in itself shows that there are still planning to be done. More thought need to be put into these 'plans'. That is my strong point but I won't let it be exploited easily cos of the pay. My stance is, if the lessons are prepared with ws, I would just carry out. But when one looks through the plans, there is no theme. It's like random things put together. Timing provided also not adequate. And each lesson I have to teach 4 times. This takes some getting used to. Last time I planned 3 lessons for 3 diff levels and taught 3 level, 1 class in one shot. Now is plan 1 lesson and teach 4 times in a week. On top of the normal lessons that I am doing for the last time. Same for every other eng lesson that I would have to do for the first time... I too am not happy with these extra 4 periods a week. plus having to teach as a full el teacher solo. Just a lot of preparation yet things are not clear so I've gotten extra assessment books (local) to photocopy instead of doing from scratch. what's the point of the lesson etc weren't really addressed in the first official meeting. Listen to Headless's answers led to more question marks plus dont address anything at all. Kinda lame answers too. Such that most if not everybody left wondering what the hell is going on. There were also strong disagreements with regards to the issue of having 5 collegues at a shot in the class. They would rather each take a small group instead of just being there for the sake of being there. Tell me about it. Then I would end up teaching purely own class, so how different is it from other normal classes. You tell me...
Thirdly is the actual hrs where I now have to go to the assigned form class and just stand and stand and look at them. Then get brain fried when the form teacher does daily admin, plus nag (sch rules, expectations, blah blah) I think my Jap has leveled up even more cos I can understand some of these stuff that is being said... But brain-fried is brain-fried. Then the daily schedule dont clearly mention the role of an asst co-form. I have to keep asking if have to be around. Seriously, I can read the Jap and make intelligent guess but it's really mentally taxing to do so everyday and read through the 3 pages of daily schedule... Details are in Jap, only heading has a line of English. Dont take my jap level for granted. That is not my job to translate these daily.
Another is the concern for the actual teaching. While I can try to teach but am still confused about how to teach with the 4 lessons per class per week. One is slotted for that joke form of the solo lesson I had to do last year, 2 are supposed to be for the another textbook which is pitched at local secondary 1 level English level with chunks of text. I really doubt and wonder if the students are really at that level. Also that leaves just 1 lesson a week to cover their original school tv where exams are based on. This is compared to other levels who are doing purely that textbook in 3 periods a week, plus that 1 lesson of solo. Not sure how well to balance their exams and learning of the language. The concerns of a subject teacher, which I wonder whether it should have been planned better. Tell me about it. All these falls into the planning of the syllabus which in my opinion, more thought can be put into it. That is in the perview of the mgt and Headless.
That still said, I am totally not happy with the complete change in workscope plus the asst form plus included in 1 committee for a measly paltry sum of $100. I am not alone in the thinking. So the bad end and start plus pay dissatisfaction is drawing out the negativism in me. I am trying to be positive and productive. Used the free time I have to make a couple of ws and even look for assessment books to match up to their level. Even went for gym and tried to destress. But the dissatisfaction is not easy to remove. I find this 'year' I have few reasons to be happy or looking forward to work like last year. I look even more forward to Fri and lunch time and I really find little reason to be glad or happy or smile back at other collegues.
The reason given for making me the asst form is "so that you can enjoy teaching more".... Err I cant describe how NIAO this reason is and makes us wanna roll our eyes indeed. I will enjoy myself MORE if I dont have to go for this daily form class thingy. So far my responsibilities are to head up to the class at 8.15am (which means I have to finish eating breakfast and be in school) then stand in the class and watch them do silent reading (I took a book to read too) and pull the curtains (which students dont do without explicit permission) to shield them from the glare of the morning sun as they do the reading *ya sweat drops*. Then after the rest of the Jap form and asst form finished their meeting, they come in. Greet, do class admin, collect the valuables in a bag. And I help to carry the valuable down. All the while, standing somewhere infront or at the back of the class. No extra seat... Stand and Stand. Before the end of the day, have to carry up that same bag of valuables to return. More admin, then got time, ask to say something to students. Stand and Stand.
NOW can anyone tell me, how exactly am I "enjoying myself more" This is NOT a plus point with regards to my changed job scope, its a negative. And this is NOT a perk of the job that is used to justify my lack of pay increase (perk of the job so less pay) Such strange reason given by Headless (mgt) that I really am rolling my eyes up again and again daily...
The work-year has only just started and I am already feeling very tired and have no Jing Sheng left at the end of just a day. This week of just 4 days is Excruciatingly slow and painful. I am feeling so very very negative and short on stamina to get through the day. Dont feel anything positive. Just keep looking forward to de-stressing and resting over the weekend.
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