Updates - many aspects

Many things are happening and a lot which I have to deal with. A lot of the issues are on-going and more keep popping up just when finally things are seemingly clearing up. All due to family ties and for money.

Irritation and frustration on my end. Sadness on my part, as this is what family ties amounts to - dollars and cents, lack of integrity and honesty.

Why am I the one having to do the "cleaning up" and then have to clean up again when things get messed up?

Once again, isn't this a common recurring issue amongst families?

Let me focus on some other things in my own life instead of dwelling upon the fact that my time and energies are mostly taken up by all the family issues and stuff to settle.
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I resumed KM once a week, Sat class so far. Despite some shitty stuff at the sparring. I sms the instructor that I will sit out the sparring after a few sessions of it. So far they changed things to exclude the sparring. Then I get my fitness trashed into me through doing the intensive work-out, think I have gotten a bit fitter, though not any trimmer yet. But strong enough to survive the aerobics parts and don't suffer any aches that lasts for several days. This to me is a sign of my old levels of fitness. I still have to work on my weight and fitness more.
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My sis told me about the HPB (health promotion board) app and contest for SG, whereby you log in 10,000 steps daily and win vouchers and money. My old phone cant use the pedometer app assigned. I signed to get the free pedometer at a allocated timing after the Taiwan trip. Ironically I definitely hit more than 10,000 steps everyday during that 2 weeks that I have Quet's corporate phone catching pokemons.

That was an interesting time, like keep going out jalaning and tracking pokemons. I had a few interesting pokemon stories to add to the list so far. Laying in wait around the Alexandra office area, climbing up Mt Faber via small road, getting a ride offer from an uncle, Dragonite catching with my bags of food on the bus home. My sis asked me if it was fine for me to do this, like so aimless and useless. I told her it is the calm before the storm from "Game of Throne", so enjoy it while it lasts. How very very true indeed. These recent episodes are shittier than the previous ones.
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With the 1-for-1 offer from Starbucks, I am very into Hojicha frappacino ice than Matcha nowadays. So my sister treated me once. I treated her back. Decided to keep one of the cups. Using it as my container for cash. Remembering what Tab joked about me and my delayed delayed trip to Japan, I took her joke and put a 'Japan Trip Funds' and used that as my piggy bank to save up for Japan. I had a small cup of $1 coins I have been putting aside just out of habit. 

Then I have some notes returned to me from leftover Dad's 1st anniversary (cos I accumulated all my small 4D winnings to a sum and passed over to Mom to use for the anniversary expenses, excluding the memorial orbuitary) So the remaining notes returned to me, and I threw inside. Had a few tens returned for me using my own cash to photocopy all the docs and stuff. Also threw in. Maybe I will soon have enough for the air ticket, about $670 range. Still have hotel, transport, travel insurance, spending money, some splurges (fresh sashimi from Tsukiji, FF stuff, one onsen with kaiseki dinner) Will work towards the goal of $6k, have a 3-weeks solo trip. 

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Been to Quet's place a few times. During her two weeks abroad, Tab and I headed there once. It was during the typical exam period so Tab was marking instead of playing the piano. She listened to my updates about the "Game of Throne" things happening then. I was telling her the story while sweeping the floor, then went over once more with the wet wipe, much cleaner. I dabaoed a nice rojak as a snack then we ate western food with Alger joining in later. We didn't go back until Quet came back.

These 2 weeks, cos Tab had volunteered herself to play a piece in her violin school's recital. Her teacher was too ABRSM trained to play the piano accompaniment, so pulled Quet in. Interesting. I jio myself along when they meet up to practice. Use as an excuse to pop over and catch up. We ate out later or dabao in. Talk and catch up about the happenings then they warm up and practice, I sit and watch TV, catch pokemon or massage in the chair. I don't mind. Need to relax more, do more sane things instead of dealing with things at home constantly. I consider it a safe refuge to be human again. 

So after 2 practice sessions, from the sounds of it, a little bit better. Still got some clashes and timing issue, definitely common performance issues all performers face. More practice will solve that. In the meantime, more relaxing time for me.

Though another funny thought pops into my mind when I first heard Tab's first practice was, "I seriously need to push back the day Tab can play either the violin part for Suteki Desu Ne (FFX love song) or Chrono Cross (starting theme), until my deathbed." We joked that maybe she won't reach that standard and then while she was playing at my deathbed, I died earlier in hopes to escape the playing.

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Quet helped me to buy a vinyl record player from London. In the interesting WhatsApp conversation between us at 3am sg time, it turned from a Lenco-85 to the Audio-technica LP60USB. It turned from a small compact box to a much bigger square box that she hand-carried back to SG. She was telling us how she managed to pass all the strict customs for the hand-carry. Another epic story to add on to our adventures. Nowadays there are Blue-tooth record players to link up wirelessly with more advance speakers. But not my household, we still very wired. 

I set it up and it can play my Mom's old records. It works well and the sound quality is very good when connected to a much higher quality speaker. It sounded like a 'live' concert cos the instrument sounds sharper and richer, at least to my ears. I find myself happily listening. Though depending on the condition of the record, there may be jarring or skips if the grooves were affected by dirt, scratches, mold etc. 

But my mom's records are dusty and some a bit of mold so I only clean and tried on 2 records, one of which is the BoneyM record with my favourite track, Rasputin. If I can find clean record sleeves, might consider cos have to clean up 2 cases of records. 

It was a different but amusing experience to have this funny set-up. I had the grand chore of looking through the Second Uncle's excel files in detail. So I set up the record player to test it playing through an entire record, both sides A & B. Then cos it was at night, I connected it to my own lower-end speaker and then connected a pair of earphones to listen. So it was like listening to a giant-sized CD player, except there is no repeat, or skip button. You have to lift the stylus, then position over the different grooves that indicates the song. It goes from outside in, so first song is the outer most rim. There are obvious grooves height to differentiate the different songs. Max of 5 on each side of the record, at least for the BoneyM record. Happily rocking to the grooves of Rasputin to power through the unpleasant task of eye-balling and understanding the excel files. 

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Taichi may start after the Taiwan trip. It is like $30 for 3 months. Maybe joining the one near my sis's place if I can't find anything decent in Clementi itself. 

Think I might go swimming in the evenings if I am not working. Need to get some goggles and a new swim suit. See how things go.

Also need to go shopping for new interview clothes. Think I cannot fit into my older clothes. I will look through my wardrobe once I come out from this Muar trip. 

So far I try to control and be more aware of everything I am eating. Lost 1kg from my highest max of 80kg... Man how did weight go so high. Since it wasn't all gained in one day, it can't be lost in one day too. 

At least a small victory is I have gotten stronger, at least on the pull-up bar. Though I feel my weight and can't hang as long as when I was 76kg... I can now twist my legs upwards til very close to the bar and sometimes touching my hands. 

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I miss my simpler life. My happiest and freest moments were ironically during my first solo Bangkok trip. At least they were the happiest in 2015 I remembered before my vacation ended in Aug, and the things started in Sept. Then my life paused completely. It's almost a year to the day of my no-pay leave. 

As unsure as I am about things, I will start to apply for jobs very soon. I am no fan of interviews and definitely will have quite a few wasted ones before anything might work out. As sian as those can be. I will have to face them and do it. 

Give me the courage to face the fears and move forward. 

The grit to persevere and move on. 

The heart to be strong mentally against the negativism.

The spirit to be free and be happy still.