My blogging came to an abrupt end in August. That was when everything in my life came to a sudden stop.
The reason: My dad's hospitalisation and the subsequent diagnosis.
In my last unpublished post, I was trying to put in words the devastation in the initial stages of events then. Little would I know that there were so much more things behind. That the initial stage of the diagnosis was just the tip of the iceburg.
Having reached the current stage now, where the 100 days are over, can resume most things normally and until the 15th of the Lunar New Year, I can go to other's homes. It has been an epic tough journey. There are still more to go, nothing being settled at the Malaysian side and how there are so many complications for relatively straight-forward things... just that I am not the party overseeing... there are my uncles and aunties and the older-generation to deal with the brewing problem that have stewed for a good 40 years at least.
I dont want to retell the epic story from Sept to end-Jan. There are many epic-fails and lots of eye-rolling involved. Too much for me to say it again. Too many emotions, that certain memories and events still trigger the tearing up and bring tears in an instant. Think I need time to heal those. Time has healed some. So I will just list down the events as a reminder to myself what had happened.
Sept and Oct:
Hospitalised, Diagnosed, Drafting the list of assets, hoping to do a will and searching for financial info, Kept updating the list and kept having to revise and revise, Aunties and Uncles came and complicated some things with their advice, Hesitation and Reluctance, Massive cleaning up for space, Insistence on discharge, more massive decluttering, checking and learning about health equipment, many trips to the SG banks to open accounts, make enquiries, trips and calls to stock brokers and etc, enquiring about getting a maid, finishing the maid online course, numerous trips to the hospital, kept running the errands, asking the workplace for No Pay Leave for 2 months and getting half a year instead until the end of the contract, going into Malaysia on my own using public transport to go the banks and stock brokerage to settle the requests, emailed will-writer, talked with Uncle's lawyer, try to get the money ready for use... so many many things and the eventual passing.
Nov:
The funeral wake, the logistics and costs of the funeral wake, cremation and the process, putting the urn at home until the Gong De and the requirements for offering, folding gold and silver paper for days, more going in to Malaysia to settle banking, the 2 nights of visitation and the preparation, the Gong De itself, the bringing the urn back to put in the grave plot, the complications with the death of the loser uncle and having to deal with the other uncle with negotiations and having to deal with the talking, undependable way of getting things done, continue with the offering requirement until the 100th day, more massive decluttering and sorting through all the things to clean up the house.
Dec:
The Ipoh trip - Pahang road trip and the dramas, the continued decluttering, calling to cancel, change subscriptions to newspapers, membership, coming up with an agreement between siblings about the distribution etc in Singapore, started the litigation process and met with lawyer with regards to SG side of things, have to revise the list of assets on hand and include the complications for the Malaysian side in a list, met up and talked to Uncle.
Jan:
Setting up a couple more accounts, managing the household finances, updating subscriptions and Giro etc. Managing Mom's insurance, bank accounts and pocket money etc, In charge of payment for the air-con, lights and new coat of paint and new doors to brighten the house, continue to keep an eye on Mom and finances, accompany her to the lawyer and etc, prepared for the 100th day ceremony.
Feb:
Accompany her to the lawyer firm, help out with home errands, and slowly resumed Krav Maga.
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