My newest toy, my silver Zen Micro mp3 player and matching speakers. Maybe i'll name him Greyearth short grey after my game nick. Stored about 150 songs so far, using only 0.6G. Gonna rip my entire cd collection inside. 

Silver speakers @ $29 bucks with my silver Zen Micro 

I am at Zen with my surroundings

Today was supposed to be another boring day. Another when I go to work tired. Then when I was chatting with D, she mentioned that she wanted to go down to Junction 8 to buy mp3 player. I decided to join her becos last time I actually wanted to buy from the creative sale, but too many people so had enough of queuing so i went home empty handed.

Both of us were so excited that we rushed off straight after work. We took a cab down and Vola the creative fair was only a single counter in the main area. We were surprised that we went forward to ask if this was the fair. Yes the man assured us. Then there were 3 aunties who were asking a lot of questions and blocking us from looking at the demos. So we secretly cursed and swear at them. Phew they went off and we started bioing and choosing the colours.

Pink, purple and light blue were out of stock so we looked at the rest. After travelling so far and looking so forward to it, we were definitely buying! The whole package for a 5G Zen (399) with speakers (29) cos $428. I initially prefered the light blue one but there was no stock. So I looked at my favourite colour, green. There was only one unit left but after looking at it numerous times, the colour is still a shade off the nicer tone of green. Then D chose white from green and white. I initally thought that silver was limited edition. Then i asked if there was silver. The man showed me. I decided that silver is still nicer than that green. (would really really like a green player but....) Anyway i got matching speaker silver too, D white matching speakers. The man was so kind to give us 10 free songs downloads instead of just 5. It must be becos he bioing D. :)

So we were grinning like some crazy kids, very excited and satisified with the purchase. This is probably the most expensive gadget that i bought entirely for myself. PS was shared ownership but this Zen Micro is mine. Guess maybe no more holiday in June.

(will put in the pics when I reach home, now in office)

Then i hopped down to Tab's place only to find a very sickly and pale Tab looking down at me from her balcony window. Her message not to meet me didnt reach me so i walked over. Hmm it was very embarassing to disturb her when 'her friend' vists her. She is too busy to entertain me. But she let me in and I showed her what I bought. Then she grabbed it with her paws and refused to let go.... Had to coax it over. Havent really tried my Zen yet, only opened to the box.

Its a cute mp3 player about the size of a cigarette box but lighter. But the sound was fantastic. I was very eager to try out Zen Micro but i had tuition. So after Tab felt much better, we went to makan at coffeshop near J8. Just as we were coming out of the toilet, I saw a MONK BAG. Its those big bag that really looks like the bag monks carry. So I bought it within 1 min. I wanted one for a long time but didnt find one that I liked until that moment I stepped out of the J8 toilet. Both of us took train and I am a mightily satisfied shopper.

After I reached home, I installed the stuff and started ripping songs inside. Its great to hear the songs. Sounds as good as CD. Immediately I loaded about 80 songs inside from my comp. Then I ripped 4 Gackt Cds. As at 2am in the morning I have a huge selection of Jap gothic rock, Jap rock songs in my Zen. I should give it a name soon. Then I tried the speakers. It sounded better than my old radio.

Today I went to work listening to my list of songs. Great man. Life is good at least for my ears. Starved of music cos i was too lazy to change my cd in my discman.

Another complaint. Monday, and I had to stay back to rush to wrap half of 50 cups. I had a hell of a time doing just one initially. Cos the bloody cup had a handle and no box. It took me up to my 10th cup before I perfected the technique. Luckily I had done origami when I was younger and learnt somewhere about japanese pleats... Sign.

Why did I have to do this?

Well cos its under the Staff Welfare Com and I volunteered to be a member. 2 weeks back, I forgot about the meeting and missed it. When I came back from lunch, I was told I had to work with B to prepare the gifts for Mother's Day.

So after the friday incident, I was not keen to talk much to B. Just only the minimal to get things done. Fine so monday she had remedial so I started first. After remedial, she said that she has something on. So off she went saying that she had more free periods on Tues and that she would be staying back so she'll do tom. Fine. I'll just finish my part, full-stop. Definitely not a planner cos she didnt do up the card design. So I did that on my own and saved the file. Hence I stayed until 5pm wrapping cups until I was at my 20th one. Then I left.

Tuesday was a continuation of the work. I had 6 free periods. Lucky there was no relief. So I started doing what was left. 5 more cups and 50 business-card-sized cards. I printed out the cards, manually cut them all out. 100 in all cos both sides have designs. Then I pasted the two cards together and manually laminated them using laminating paper. Sounds like a production team right. Except up to this stage, its just me only. Okay B bought the cups, but I bought the wrapping paper and laminating paper. After working almost 3 hours non-stop, my free time ended and I just passed everything else to her. Everything is hers. So she had to wrap 25 cups, laminate some more cards and manually cut out the cards.

Wednesday, kinda stone today. Woke up early to go to do Hall duty. Basically to stand and make sure students do silent reading until assembly. After that, I continued my marking in the class. No teaching cos exams round the corner, so my mentor wanted to take the class for revision. I am helping her clear a backlog of unmarked work. First off from last thurs to monday, was Science workbook. It was such a pain in the ass that I wanted to commit sucide (japanese style, by slitting open my stomache) The work was sooooooo bad but then what can the last class produce. There are decent ones but the ones that are bad are REAL BAD.

Then after I am done, I asked my mentor what else. So another pile of work Composition which is one of the most painful things out there for Educators to mark. I am almost finished with it today. But it made me forget how bad Science was, In fact this time, I want to jump off the fourth floor and let a boo-dozer run over me. SO there are really worse things out there...

My current table. Messy but still have a working surface. Notice Tab's 'Talk to the tail' picture and the packet of coffee. Functional I would say but not cosy enough cos i dun have a lap-top to surf. I like the motivation picture - Destiny. Actually this is still a first for me. A table to call my own and decorate according to my wishes. .  

Pissed and irritated. That would be the words to use to describe Friday. The day began in the hall for assembly. I was tired. Anyway I am perpetually tired. I was wearing myT-shirt and bermudas cos its a sports day. So when i just sat down in the back of the hall waiting for the assembly to start. The two other untrained B and D came and sat down beside me, one on either side.

Out of the blue, B looked up and down at me and remarked "You really looked like u are wearin a skirt."

(Oh god, not again. What the freaking hell is wrong with people around me. Why cant they just mind their own biz and leave me be. Why is there this conspiracy to cocerce me into wearing one just for fulfilling their saddistic egos. I can only tolerate this type of nagging out of concern for a limited no of times. When it gets on my nerves to a certain extent, if subtle hints doesnt work, then i would give it straight to you in-the-face. See if u are dumb enough not to get the point after this. But i am still kind enough to put it through politely and in a normal albeit serious tone.)

Then she continued despite me giving her a dirty look "You know huh, I would still pay zillions of dollars just to see you in a skirt...."

Before she could continue, I faced her and said "Can u just stop this? This is an old joke among my friends and a common joke too.... Can u just stop...." D was patting me on the shoulders and telling me not to be so serious while both B's hands were up and doing a 'ok ok' sign. I just ignored her and went back to my stone state. Later i went to my designated station.

Later after the event... there was a lunch for everyone. While sitting at the same table with a few collegues, B n D too. They started chatting, I just ate my rice quietly cos my station was a tiring one. Had to manually count how each student skipped. So its almost non-stop. And my partner lost her voice so i had to do the shouting and instructions. My voice a bit sore and tired and still a bit pissed with B's thoughtless remarks earlier.

Then out of the blue, B started "Hell, you got to be careful cos there was a case of this teacher who coughed a lot and actually have TB." At his, some collegues at the same table turned and looked at me and started on nagging me to take this, take that. Take care etc.

I answered impatiently "I have seen the doctor so many times and as a doctor, he would have noticed the symptoms of TB if I had it."

"You better change a doctor then." B interjected.

"Look here, if i have TB then my family will be the first ones to kena. All six of them... " Then collegues cut in and asked concernedly whether i did this, did that. I just told them that I am sensitive to the cold especially the air con or high humidity in the air when it rains.... After a while the conversation changed...

WTF!!! Shindekudasai kono kusuo onna.... Go and wash your bloody mouth using the toilet bowl to clean it. U cannot get away with this type of remarks using the excuse of naivity. U like to shoot arrows in my direction and so thoughtlessly. Dun consider how i feel, think i will be grateful for this type of concern? If u got nothing good to say, say nothing at all. I dun want to listen to any more of this type of 'concern'.

A weeks worth of blog

As I mentioned, I was having difficulties over the week accessing my blog hence when things happen or when I feel like blogging, cant. Just tried my luck and now its working.

Long Week

Had another long long week. Why is it any different from other long weeks that I had. This is different becos I had to relief all the periods of 2 form teacher from Monday straight to Friday. Which is obviously different from just relieving just a few periods. Such extended relief would mean that filler (time-wasting) activities would be quickly exhausted. And also it would be preferable if can teach something so that the class doesnt lag behind the syllabus.

What is the problem then? well obviously I am not familiar with the bloody syllabus... dun even have time to look through the books cos when I kena relief, its when I am already in the hall for assembly. So within 5-10mins, have to decide upon the things to cover for each subject for that day. Then another problem is pitching the lesson to that level. I am used to teaching upper pri yet I have to teach lower pri. Hence have to consciously pitch things lower and not incorporate too cheem words or even concepts into the lessons. Of course when work is given, I have to do the marking. So its a common sight to see me lugging a huge pile workbooks into the staff room and plop it onto my table. The irony is that I am marking more of other classes workbooks than my own assigned class.

Okay then if I have to relief only 1 day. So one full day is still considerably easier than doing the same for close to a week. When u have to relief for a week, its like time comes to a standstill. Endless deja vu. Not to mention the same crap by the few heavenly kings in class. More work, more marking, more lessons, more scolding.

I complained to my ex-mentor about having to take full day relief classes for the entire week. At first he replied that its normal cos I am considered extra staff... so its expected. But I pointed out to him that I am not complaining about that aspect cos i know that but about the perceived unfair distribution of relief duties between the few contract untrained educators. There are 2 others besides me. One wont kena so much cos she is doing parallel but the other is like me doing co-teaching. Then why dun I see her kena so many days of full day relief like me? He pointed out that its cos I am viewed very favourably by mgt hence they trust me with the classes. He continued that mgt doesnt trust the other two as much. (I was like SO they trust me and give me all the SHIT while the other can just do little. Then I rather be unreliable.)
So I asked him how can I undermine my reliability in the mgt eyes. His answer was if I want to remain in this industry, dun. (huh? dun... then i may just end up with more shit. Maybe its time for me to take more MCs esp when i am really unwell instead of piahing on)

One more thing about this. This full-day relief special request was started by one fellow collegue. Months ago somewhere in early january, a P5 collegue requested to mgt and asked for me to take over her class for 2 days. (Becos the year before, I was attached to a P5 class) Then she came to me and explained where she put her things and what lessons for each subject to take blah blah... Okay so I took the class. Later on there was one whole series of reliefing for the P1. That was fair cos all the untrained kena. Then after the March holidays, got a special request from a collegue to take P2 class for six school days. Besides all these special requests, when a collegue is on medical for a few days, I also kena. To top it off, my ex-mentor tells me that he would be sent out for 3 days in may and has already booked me... I was like GO N DIE!!!

I dun even want to go into the details of how I deal with some of the heavenly kings in class. The class that i was there for 4 out of 5 days had a especially notorious one. Even the form teacher had problem controlling him. Then there are space-cases who are only physically there. The attention-seekers who always interupts before I finish and ask questions about the instructions that I had just finished telling the class a second ago. Those who dun do the classwork but walks around... many many more

If this is any consolation to GTT, this relief shit dun happens to form teachers of class. But if there is not enough excess teachers, then the form teachers have to chip in for the relief. They have to take relief during their free period slots.

Changes in the dynamics of things.....

Within a short week, the dynamics of my current job has changed drastically.

The ball began rolling when my ex-mentor revealed to me that I am viewed very favourably by the P. Frankly I didnt know what I did to impress them. In fact at least for last year, my duties were so light that I was almost doing nothing compared to them. Then last term, though got more lessons and duties, still considered light compared to the perms. Quite concerned that the P even asked my ex-mentor why I look so tired nowadays. I would say its the running around between the projects previously and the weekly cca which the instructor is again causing us stress by overpromising and under-delivering.

Then shortly, I received the Teacher Training letter, which is the bond that trainees have to sign before they go into nie. I got this through the P recommendation. So I was kinda frantically looking around for a sporean gurantor which Krynnder agreed to be. Totemo Arigatogozaimasu!!!!

Just today, I received another letter. This letter is to inform me that I am converted to Permanent and earmarked for the next available nie intake, which means I will definitely go right in. Again this is upon the recommendation of the P.

Actually I dun want to be noticed. Just let me do my thing. I think sometimes its best that I dun know what is going on. Makes things less complicated. But then again, I can put that knowledge to use and steer myself out of harm's way. The good thing so far is that they leave me alone most of the time. I am rather aloof. I dun talk much unless with the few collegues in my area. Lunch, I am rather quiet with collegues that I am not so familiar with or not so trusted. Glad that they let me be thus far.

Hmm.... now i am feeling kinda semi-confused cum resigned state, cos it will be a year in nie plus 3 years of bond after the nie course. Which means 4 years. By the time i am free of the bond, I will be 28 years old. VERY OLD desune! Collegues tell me the years pass quickly. But sometimes on a bad day at work, one day seemed much too long. Well today is one. The current class I am taking is the end class and their behaviour is class is getting quite unmanageable. I wonder is it cos I am away from the class too often and too long, or that they are getting bolder. This one and a half week, I have been reliefing my collegues for all their lessons. Only today got a breather with one relief period.

My ex-mentor remarked that nowadays Educators have become part-time educators and full-time adminstrators. I think this point is valid. Today just had this super long meeting that is mostly crap cos it doesnt concern me (an untrained) but still have to sit in. Yet even for the perms, they dun really understand all the admin stuff that is going on. After that is some IT thingy which to me is a waste of time cos I am not an IT-idiot. One hour. Later is a sharing session which is again crap. So much crap for such a long time. I was listening but trying very very hard not to close my eyes and fall asleep. So tired and xian afterwards that I switched tuition. Even going for tuition is difficult sometimes cos the tiredness seeps in. Nowadays I have been changing the days frequently cos I am so tired that I feel I cannot give my best. Though I try to keep to weekdays but sometimes push to Sat. Just that this Sat got bond thingy so cannot. Otherwise I am very tempted.

Dunno why, been kinda of tired since the term started. Just dun feel as alert. Still doing more new things and learning along the way, but hope that its not empathy that is creeping in. Not really leh, just tired, plain tired. Dun think there will be much time to rest unless the long holidays come. Then its gonna be a crash course in nie. Its a one year course but cramp in more than 12 modules plus practicum within a short academic year that lasts about 9 mths. The other 3 mths are the breaks. I am hearing stories of 5-6 assignments due per week. Guess wont be much of rest either.

Sunday.... much dreaded day cos the day after is Monday and its usual blues.

(Moments ago, I took an innocent life....
............I am greatly saddened....

I thought that insect hovering right infront of my eyes was a mosquitoe and

lashed out. When I opened my palms, I saw an INNOCENT insect lying dead in

my palms. Blood was all over my hands.... Its a fruit fly. Oh no!!!!! I've killed an

innocent life!!!!! )

Okay I am bored. Tomorrow is just a few hours away. I cant play PS cos my sisters want to watch the apprientice. So I am online. Just got kicked out from Gunbound cos of server problems. So I was just surfing around when I took a life. It all happened in a flash. Life is so fragile. Amen.

After eating just one Koropo Bawang courtesy of Tab, I started coughing and voice deepened... It persisted until now. Wow. Now both my nose is clogged and my cough is loud with lots of phlegm. Lucky I have a speaker, it has saved me on numerous occasions.

Today is a quiet and slow Sunday. The only thing was that I woke up to the news of the Pope's death. An important religious figure. Dun worry I wont slime him or what. Hope he is with his saviour. My mom was saying that he's a great man cos he could apologise for the church's mistakes. I feel that is true. Okay end.

Anything else, bought and rented manga. Nothing else much happened unless u r interested in my Gunbound exploits. Life is kinda of routine, weekdays are taken up by work plus tuition. Inbetween work and tuition, I would take a nap. After tuition, its already late and time to sleep. Sat is taken up by Jap and going out. Sunday is stay-home day. It entails going out for either lunch or dinner with family, gaming, surfing net, manga or reading. Plain. Nothing exciting. But I am grateful to still spend time with family and friends. Its very easy to grow apart. Sometimes I wonder about how people with exciting lives live one day. Are theirs different from mine or the same? Or is it that I just have no LIFE? I dunno.

Omedetogozaimasu to Candle who has survived in KPO long enough to receive a bonus and sharing part of it with us. Please put the rest to good use cos its hard-earned.

Well for me, i am going back to my original class, really hope no more collegue go off for something and especially request for me to take their class. *keep fingers crossed*

My current mentor spoke to me and wanted to split the current class into two, she will take the weaker ones and me the better ones for maths lessons. Cos during lessons, the weak ones hold back the better ones and disrupt the class very very regularly. The CA tests was very bad. Only two passed for maths, english a handful and science a few. If there is no drastic action, the chance of the entire class going straight to EM3 is almost a certainty. Really, some of the kids just do not want to be saved, though both of us are trying to save them.

So what does this entails for me? Well it means that my teaching periods would go up, though my current mentor mentioned that she would take me out from engish and science. Basically i change from co-teaching to parallel teaching. For the former, it means you take turns to take the class, one is teaching, the other can sit behind or be absent. For the latter, it means class is conducted at the same time, both teaching two separate groups. Oh well at this point, I dun have a choice, its something new for me again. Have to try my best.

Just to mention something else that happened...

Soon next week, I would be signing up for the nie bond. Going into nie is almost a given. I would be bonding myself for a period of 2 or 3 years. Anyway I still have to serve that tuition grant bond thingy- to those uninformed, it means have to work in Spore for 3 years. So far I have knocked off about 1 year and 4 mths. And after my contract teaching ends, that would add up to 1 year 6mths. Still have 1.5 years to go. The good thing is that both can be served at the same time. So until the end of the bonds, I have no freedom to choose whether I want to work or not. What I can do is to make use of this time to open myself to learn more things that might come in useful in the future. Did i mention that my administrative skills acquired from business admin and from banking work experience has given me an advantage so far.

Worth mentioning is the work politics in play. My ex-mentor has been very nice to tell me bits and pieces of what is happening esp those that happened behind closed doors. It has provided me with more information that allows me to steer myself out of harm's way. But my lips are sealed about the information and I have not breathe a word to any collegue at all, even to the other untrained who are seen in a negative light. I try to hint at what is percieved to be wrong about a collegue... but she refused to listen, say she dun care anymore, once she gets into nie, she is free.... Unfortunately that thought which we all share is not really true. Hope she does get in also.

I just hope nothing big will come my way that requires me to put my butt on the line like the previous project. Cos I am happy with status quo and not have to 'prove' anything to anyone. I am still more concerned about the teaching aspect than others. More worried about the kids results and how to improve them and whether they can understand my lessons, whether the delivery is okay. But my hopes may be short-lived, there are a few projects lined up. At least 3 more. And which my cca is involved in two. And which the instructor sucks and I am weary of doing clean-up. Just pay me the $120+ dollars per hour and I will do a good job. Cos during last week's practice, I could control the students better and project my voice louder than the instructor. Then she is not sure of how exactly she wants them to act, so gives slip slop instructions or that she would pause for a fair bit to visualize how the thing is supposed to turn out. It is plain unprofessional. Waste of time. And she has the guts to have a ten mins break which can stretch to fifteen mins. Bloody hell. Pay me, pay me please..... I am only getting less than thirteen bucks an hour!!!!!