End of 2016 and onward to 2017

2016 will be remembered as a time of being very stagnant and lost. Also a lot of family issues - still dealing with Dad's stuff and having to deal with extended family, conflicts within own family. The irritating and sad fact is that small molehill  issues become big mountains, empty talk and no action,  and this cycle keeps flaring up. After one issue, shortly after another issue. Like no lasting peace. Always a calm before the next storm. Makes me wonder what is the family karma to keep tio such things.

The redeeming points are - supportive friends who are concerned and being able to resume Krav Mags, that gave my life a sort of focus and regular routine. I will be rather sad and lost when I stop KM after grading in early Feb. I need to get the extra flab off in a doable and healthy manner. Thinking of doing those boxing drills learnt at home from Feb onwards. 

There were more family trips this year but I feel mostly there are family obligations and I have to endure and put up with alot of habits, bickering, issues and carry stuff. Not exactly very relaxing. Some trips leave me more tired than relaxed. I do look forward to doing some solo travelling after my employment is settled. I have a Starbucks cup for that. 

I am keeping up with the daily prayers chanting.  The other constant since end May.  Will keep at it. No way near any spiritually enlightenment but can learn to endure happenings in life and also mindful of one's action, words, thoughts and responses. So basically do good, don't do evil. Reading through the Buddhist books I got from Ipoh does make me more careful of sins, given the recent family situation. So I've come to the conclusion,  I can only control myself, not others. So I try to work on my own end. Something like that. 

In 2017, I sincerely hope and pray that my stagnant state can change to something more positive and happening. I will work hard at my job as per the GuanYing lot. Just get me moving forward instead of floating around. 

Christmas Party after a year of absence

This Christmas party, having missed one last year, turned out to be a pretty good. In the earlier morning and afternoon, we went to the temple in Tampines to give thanks to Taishui, cos 2016, Monkey tio it. After a round of thanks via donations, and small tian you money, my wallet was empty. We headed to Tampines central and ate a meal of Ayam Penyet. There goes my calories. Had to withdraw some monies and we hung around a bit at Century Square. There was a small christmas game thingy for those who spent $50 in a receipt. We tried and got a fugly pizza cushion (given away for donation) and $10 NTUC voucher. Fair enough. Though the fixing the puzzle in 1min was stressful. Then my Mom and sis went home via cab and I made my way down to Tab's place.

This Christmas would be remembered for trying to burn more calories by helping out do the chores. I managed to hit about 8500 steps by the time I arrived and later helping Quet to buy her late lunch and also 4 x 1.5litre drinks helped me hit 10000. Though in the end I still out-ate what I had burned, at least the food was good. I had a lot of extra like ice cream, xiao mi jiu, and Vanilla coke plus Snickers and almost an entire pack of chips with salsa, besides the rather healthy meal of turkey with salad, sweet potatoes, carrots and potatoes.

It was really thoughtful of Tab to let us bring back 1-2 boxes of leftover turkey over fresh rice. When I got home, after Krynnder kindly asked ZX to send, I showed my Mom and sis the packs. Asked them what they had. The initial plan was for them to eat a nice meal of Domino pizza or Nasi Bryani from the hawker near my former workplace. But they told me they ended up eating instant noodles as it rained very heavily and so they didnt go out. It was about 10.45pm then. And both were a bit hungry. They didnt eat all the rice. My mom took some with the meat and my sis had meat on bread. So they also had a taste of fresh turkey meat. Remarked tasted like chicken but I feel roasted chicken many a times not as tender nor fragrant. The rest went into the fridge for the next day.

Updates : KM grading, new phone

KM grading:

When I resumed KM two Sat, there was mention of a grading session coming up in early mid-Feb. I thought about it and decided I shall train for it. It kinda coincide with the end of my package. This being my final, so I decided I shall go out with a bang and try for it. I want to pass it cos it will cost $140... another expense I could do without but since it is the final for now. I mentally commit myself to it.

That entailed me going for KM intensively to do revision. I have not gone for regular KM lessons for quite a while, some stuff I had forgotten though after seeing once, I can do it. Some I have forgotten. And also there is a fitness aspect being added.

Last Sat, out of the blue, at the warm-up part, had to do 40 burpees, crunches, mountain-climbers, push-ups and squats. On top of that did the boxing drills that my shoulders and muscles were sore. Sunday, I had to help carry heavy stuff to do prayer session. Then went for weekday KM session, I was asked to do that fitness routine again after class ended. The rationale to build up my stamina and fitness so don't suffer later during grading. I was still nursing very sore muscles so I did them in 20 x 2 sets and completed. Came back on Tue to the same thing. Oh well, did 20 x 2 sets. My right knee is aching. So I decided to have Wed as a rest day. I didn't want to compromise my right knee just for this. So I am monitoring myself as I go. Though Wed, I went to JB and did a lot of walking - railway way. Slapping on a lot of medicated salve to the sore areas.

Think the sore muscles are mostly gone today, left a bit of ache in the right knee. I shall see if I can change my attacks to use less of my right but instead use the left leg. If still sore, I shall rest it more.

Though my weighing scale didn't go lower than 80kg... maintaining there. I hope with the added KM sessions, can make it go down. I realised I have shrunk in volume size a little. Last time I wore L-sized t-shirts and it was like wrapping up snugly against my arms, shoulders, stomach. Not comfortable to be so fitting with so much flab and I opted for XL t-shirts. Now it is actually a looser. So I can now go back to L-size, hoping to go back to my M-size. Jiayou...

New Phone:

My Note2 old phone which has served me almost 4 years, died despite resuscitation on my return journey last Sat after KM. I thought it was the batteries flat. But when I went home and charged up all the batteries and yet when I put in, screen didn't even come up... it died. It must have listed itself under a DNR list cos despite everything, nothing works. I lost a bit of very recent photos, contacts, even my games cos I dunno what ID they were linked to... omg, no more games for me. Maybe a sign to go play PS console instead. Or to do more useful stuff like look for a job or workout...

So I lamented the demise of my phone until Monday then I went with my Mom next door to get a new one. My mom also got a new one. As she is an extremely light user, she got the Gold HwaWei Y6. It had 2GB ram and 16GB memory. It is cheap (but later I saw in Woodlands, even much cheaper but don't expect my mom to go all the way there).

For myself I didn't want to end up paying $800-$900 for a normal phone with 4GB ram and 64Gb memory. My contract is up in May 2017, so I was thinking to conserve some monies by getting a mid-range phone. Looking around while the lady showed my mom the functions for the Y6, I saw this Oppo F1s model that was exactly in the middle with 3GB ram and 32GB memory. Plus I had my own 32GB sim memory. And the price was halved of the normal phones with 2 years guarantee, so I got that instead. Mine is rose-gold and good thing was it came with a cover. Got the tapered glass for $5 cos we buying phones so cheaper instead of $10. It is very like a Samsung phone, in fact the interface is so close with extra features that made it much better than my very ancient Note2, of course. I can finally download Pokemon but no kick liao. These few days, all the running around and KM revisions made me too sore to go out walking and catching pokemons. I am poorer again... hardly made enough from the part-time tuition to even afford this phone.
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I do hope my unemployment status can be rectified soon enough. Frankly at this point, I have no idea how to get myself out of this situation. It progressed to this stage due to the various causes and I am dealing with the consequences alone. I hope to reach the point sometime in the future, when I can look back on this period of time and actually say to myself that it was okay to do what I did. As I had confided in Krynnder that I am not at that point yet. She advised me to be hopeful and positive. I also understand that nothing will change unless I make the moves to change things. As hard, as procrastinating as I am, as much as I fear and as lazy, I am making some moves. Still not at full momentum, but I am moving. Can only hope things will somehow work out in the long run.

Updates

For the past 3 weeks, been trying to do several things,

mainly I was cleaning and tidying up part of the living room and also clearing more of my Dad's books in my room and also some of my own stuff to make it less cluttered. Apparently an untidy messy home would invite roaming spirits to come and settle in cos its so messy and dark and they have dark corners to hide at.

It took quite a lot of effort to bundle up even more books, bring to recycle bins downstairs. Tidied up the things to donate to Salvation Army, taken so far 5 trips via bus, as I went out and made a quick stop along the journey. I didn't know where I found the stamina to do so. Lugging two big heavy bags to the bus stop, take bus, deposit and come back home over 5 separate days. Two of those trips, involving a big ass painting, and some dui-lian (chinese style 4 blocks displays) and art stuff. I did the same, carry to the bus stop, get up the bus, drop off and deposit and go along my way.

But there was a pile of papers and photos and stuff in the room still. Mainly Dad's that took me longer to clear cos by then ran out of steam and momentum. Starting at the tuition part-time and doing relief meant I was out three days a week for two consecutive weeks. Struggling there. The discomfort and struggle made me search for jobs more and I sent out a couple of resume and cvs. Then stalled.

I headed over to JB, my first was two weeks back but the bus queue was jam-packed and I was in the yellow queue that was unmoving, so I gave up after waiting for twenty mins. I decided to head back this week but go straight to the railway way link and instead walk over to the customs. That way, I can cut out one of the two bus journeys and hence avoid one bottleneck. I had to go to JB mainly to do banking - dormant accounts my own, I closed and consolidate into one main personal account. The other was to get 2 working tops that are for interviews. I can't fit into my old working clothes, especially the formal wear. So with the pants I have borrowed and one of my own, I needed the top. Since I have some RM on me and didn't want to pay SG prices and struggle with the sizes, I decided to try my luck first in JB.

So the second trip on Monday went smoothly. I followed the plan and the crowd walking over via the railway was so much much thinner and I reached the customs and cleared in 5mins. Headed to board the only one bus journey. Hopped on the yellow bus then cos there were a few and paid RM$3 for it. Got to CitySquare much faster. I have discovered a new and faster way to avoid the crowd but this is only for those who can walk. Elderly cannot do this way. I managed to buy my two tops, one from Dorothy Perkins (S$60) and a top and a jacket from H&M (S$80). Now I need to get myself interviewed...

Then I applied for a couple more jobs. Still saw some and haven't applied yet. Thinking of the customised cover letter is the time-consuming part. Also the requirements of the job and also the skills. The rest is be diligent and patient.
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On the stock market front, it took me forever and such a big prolonged dip then I finally decided to take losses and cleared out 2 lousy counters at a massive loss. Then my portfolio is now healthier looking. I am not sure how to make back the losses, cos of my unemployment status, so I have to keep the lessons learnt in mind and take it as a business loss and remember the mantra: the first cut-loss is the smallest. And also avoid the Msia stock market. Cannot make it.

Distant Worlds Concert: 7 years since the first one

I was surfing the internet aimlessly before and remembered that Distant World has a website that notifies and shows the dates and performance venues for upcoming concerts. When I first checked then, there wasn't any Sg concerts yet. What I saw instead of was the Kingdom Heart concert in Sg. Excited cos it has been 7 years since the last video-game one. Yes that long a time. There was a piano final fantasy one but it was only for one-night and sold out long ago. That was what prompted me to look at that website for information way in advance. So despite being an unemployment statistic, I decided to spend on the concert. So with Quet cos Tab couldn't make it on a Sunday as she had to wake early. Better seats left on Sunday though we booked rather early. The composer of Kingdom Heart is the top female game music composer Yoko Shimomura. She also is the composer of FFXV. I love her Legend of Mana main theme. Very different yet distinct style compared to Uematsu Nobuo.

So shortly after, saw the news on the same webpage that FF Distant World is returning to sg and another #takemymoneygladly moment, bought the tickets with the help of Quet, who logged in early in the morning to secure seats. For me, it is worth it, cos I hardly am interested in any concerts except for these series so attending concerts are few and far inbetween. Worthwhile to do something with my time and money, also revisit a part of my youth and the music that saved me. The music gave me the courage and healed me and I have moved on forward. Hope it grants me more courage and strength through my current stage.

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Dec 3rd, 2016 (Sat)

The concert venue was at Star Vista Performing Theatre but both of us felt the acoustics of the sound system is not as pro as the Esplanade. Wished that they held the concert in Esplanade like the first one. We met up earlier and had a nice meal of pork ramen. Except for the glitch when heading up to the seats where they stopped the concert-goers at the 5th floor for 10mins, and that caused delay and the rude female usher to Quet, about deleting the photo she took of the empty stage backdrop with tickets, the rest was good.

The rude encounter almost spoilt the mood but Roth, the conductor came on and after the first introd tune of FF, he would speak into the mike and address the audience to let us know the next 1-2 songs, adding in reasons for the song choice, information, adding in his personality and thoughts into the address. He had a real nice voice and personality that comes through as he spoke. We soon forgot anything else unpleasant. Earlier during the first or second, I had to shush a young lady who was discussing with her friend about the games to update her friend, who didn't know all the FF series cos the songs spanned the entire series. Luckily she got it and kept quiet. Much better enjoyment. I didn't pay $139 to listen to lowered voices discussing in the background. 

I really love the FFIX music yet with Spotify, I haven't looked for it much cos I was listening to the vocal songs of FF and FF9 with the Melodies of Life felt a bit weaker to the dramatic songs of Susan Calloway with songs such as Distant World, Answers and Dragonsong and Rikki for the japanese love song Suteki Da Ne that in my opinion outshone Eyes On Me. But I was super touched when they play 2 tunes of FF9 that were my all-time favorite - Roses of May and Not Alone. I immediately recognise the tunes though I wasn't as familiar with the names. It made me take out my entire CD collection of FF with the aim to relisten to them.

Rikki, the original vocalist for Suteki Da Ne, made a special appearance in Sg. Such a treat, cos the last concert it was Mr Uematsu Nobuo and this time it is her. Still amazed by her vocals though the mike echo and setting cannot make it. What a shame. 

We were also treated to the remake of the FFVII opening bombing theme and it was so impactful. I think I need to set up another cup to save for PS Vista and the game before then. We also had a mass photo of all the audience wearing the masks of the FFXV main characters. Then another treat was the premiere performance of FFXV Apocalyptic Noctis (by Yoko Shimomura) very very dramatic and strong.

Encore was One Wing Angel - and all the audience have to sing the Sep-hi-roth part. Had to do practice and then they perform. Very memorable concert. 

So we diligently queued to buy the merchandise. I was more interested in the soundtracks - not so much the Distant world CDs but more of the series soundtrack. So I bought FFX (which I realised later I have but was a Taiwan version vs the now Jap version I bought) and FFXIV which is one I don't have but is a blue-ray discs... so can try to listen with Quet's player. I think until I have a PS Vista (which is a blue-ray reader), I have to do that. Dunno if can rip into mp3 but would lose the definition. Oh well, bo bian. So another $110 poorer. I reckon they can keep me going for more years. This concert is worth going to. Hope it will go back to Esplanade if it ever comes again.

I will recheck my entire discs collection to avoid another repeat for the Kingdom Heart concert. Still a distant in May next year. Hope by then I am more settled. 

Source: http://www.ffdistantworlds.com/program

FINAL FANTASY SERIES: Main Theme, Swing de Chocobo, Chocobo Medley 2010, Prelude, Victory Theme, Battle & Victory Theme Medley, Chocobo Medley 2012, Battle Medley I-XIV

FINAL FANTASY I-III: Medley 2002, Medley 2010

FINAL FANTASY III: DS Opening

FINAL FANTASY IV: Theme of Love, Battle with The Four Fiends

FINAL FANTASY V: Dear Friends, Clash on the Big Bridge, Main Theme

FINAL FANTASY VI: Dancing Mad, Opera "Maria and Draco", Terra's Theme, Phantom Forest, Character Theme Medley, Balance Is Restored, Dark World featuring soloists Nobuo Uematsu, keyboards, and Arnie Roth, violin

FINAL FANTASY VII: One-Winged Angel, Opening - Bombing Mission, Aerith's Theme, Main Theme of Final Fantasy VII, JENOVA, Those Who Fight (Let the Battles Begin), JENOVA COMPLETE

FINAL FANTASY VIII: Liberi Fatali, Fisherman's Horizon, Love Grows, Don't be Afraid, The Man With The Machine Gun, Eyes on Me, Balamb GARDEN ~ Ami

FINAL FANTASY IX: Vamo' alla Flamenco, Prima Vista, A Place to Call Home - Melodies of Life, Not Alone, Unrequited Love, Festival of the Hunt, Roses of May

FINAL FANTASY X: Zanarkand, Suteki da ne, Hymn of the Fayth, Hymn of the Fayth - The Sending Suite

FINAL FANTASY XI: Memoro de la Stono - Distant Worlds, Ronfaure, Vana' diel March Medley, Fighter of the Crystal

FINAL FANTASY XII: Kiss Me Goodbye, The Dalmasca Estersand

FINAL FANTASY XIII: The Promise, Fang's Theme, Saber’s Edge, March of the Dreadnoughts, Fabula Nova Crystallis, Blinded by Light

Lightning Returns: FINAL FANTASY XIII: Light Eternal

FINAL FANTASY XIV: Twilight Over Thanalan, Beneath Bloodied Banners, Primal Judgment, Answers, Navigator's Glory - The Theme of Limsa Lominsa, Torn From The Heavens