I think all of us have things that we really want to do but are unable to cos of time, financial constraints. Sometimes even during ur off days, u cant seem to bring urself to lift a finger to do something. Would be so tired on days that u just wanna hide at home, sleep or just go out and chill, eat and drink instead.
As the years passes by, the list of things u WANT to do grows longer and longer. Yet u find u cant/dont have the time to do all of them. In a blink, its almost a decade, or soon, u'll be old and retired. Hopefully you are able to finally pick up the list and start doing some of them. Though you might not be physically or mentally capable of doing some by then. Provided u dont come up with a whole routine during retirement eg eat and sleep and watch tv only as a time filler of sorts.
Hmm sometimes when we have time on our hands, suddenly we 'don't know' where to start or what to do. Hence the common complaint of boredom. Think it would be good to start with a list of up to 10 things and start from there. You can even do a cost-analysis eg if its a course, set a time frame if its a skill etc.
What's my 10 things to do before I die? *Thinks I have quite a number but lemme get started on writing down what comes to mind*
1) Learn the electric guitar and master it
2) Go visit Japan esp for Sakura season
3) Learn Japanese
4) Learn to be a driver
5) Learn to play acoustic guitar
6) Learn how to swim well
7) Learn to cook and bake desserts, to master at least 10 dishes each
8) Know how to make several alcoholic drinks by memory instead of book
9) Go visit Australia with a farm stay to lie on grass and pick strawberries
10) Master the swave board
11) Have a lean and fit and toned body, esp a much flatter stomach, despite aging.
12) Have a good in-depth idea of musical theory and can apply
13) Socialize more so that I can have more guy friends. Miss having guy friends not so much for bf but the activities that guys can add to a group.
14) Able to play Weiqi well
15) Can make at least 10 of those blended non-alholic drinks by memory
16) Learn to compose musical pieces
17) Learn to be a chef in dessert
18) Learn to draw and design clothes/furnishings, to give life to an idea/design
19) Learn Bahasa Malay
20) Learn some card magic tricks
Other more trival stuff to try at least once in a lifetime like
21) Wave-boarding
22) Go for a Halloween party and dress up
23) Bungee (dunno if i really can go thru with it)
24) Cosplay
25) Fly in a glider
26) play the guitar well on the beach under the setting sun/moonlight
27) Surfing
28) Drinking sake under Cherry Blossom trees
29) Fly in a helicoptor
30) Go for a ladies arm wrestling contest (for the heck)
Hmm kinda exhausted my brain at the moment.
Some I am already doing like 3,4,5,6. Some are in the works. Some I dont know when I will get about doing them. Quite a number involves money to do, some wont be immediate once off but takes lots of time and effort. But for me if it is what I really want to do at least once in a lifetime, it wont be too expensive unless I cramp them all together. Some just have to pursue together with working.
Looking through I am surprised at some of the items that come to mind. Hmm better note this down and start doing.
Live each day like ur last and you will never be bored, live life doing what u really want to do and it will never be meaningless.
To make a memory, hopefully a good one, to last a lifetime.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Turning 'Soft'
Cos I wanted to resolutely lose weight. Weight kept going up, reaching a new record. I dont want to hit 70kg! So I better do it NOW. No other ways except
1) Make better food choices
2) Exercise more and regularly.
I have done 2 sessions of swimming this week, trying to align them on the same days as my driving school sessions so I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But going swimming 3 times would make things kinda boring. I did it a few months back while I was still working but kept having a strong sense of deja vu esp if the swims were on consecutive days.
Today around 5pm, I headed to the Clementi Gym. Its been a long while since I've gone to a gym, was using swimming to lose weight instead. So I targeted exercise for the thighs, stomach and triceps/shoulders cos all of these are my problem areas where I wish to tighten up.
The slider was tough. My initial target was 20mins of that but after 5mins my legs turned jelly. Alright will use 5mins as a base to build up upon. Then I headed to do the machines. Strength wise for the machines, I found that except my quads (front of the thighs muscle) the rest all detoriated in terms of Strength. Couldnt do as heavy as I did previously. But I did 2-3 sets of 20-35s for the specific machines. Then ended with the free weights. Could only do 1 set of the routine that I used to do. Did stretches and then left. About 53mins of workout and my hands were trembling from the exertion.
In-line with better food choice, I dabao Subway sandwich 6inch and drank Coke Light. Reached home, bathed, ate that and 2 sweet potato. Then practiced guitar, now online. Later dunno if I have energy to tidy up table and/or room a bit. Think my jap homework have to be deferred. My eyes are closing... Did slap on lots of Muscular ache cream to prevent the pain from 'overexerted, long time no use' muscle aches. Hope I covered the spots, or will have a tough time for at least 2days.
_________________________________________
While I was on my way home, i thought of Quetzal's invitation to get me to go for the upcoming Halloween party (aks at disco) I had turned her down cos that day is my sister's bdae. But it suddenly struck me. Hmm if I dont go for this one, when will I ever go? Next year, the year after that? So like a pity that I just turned down cos of own fears of whatever. Was toying with the idea of going instead, breaking out of the 'comfort zone' thingy like what Tab was nagging me about. Even to say next time, "Been there, Done that." Hmm since costumes can be rented, I just treat it as a "one of the things to do once in a lifetime" Smsed Quetzal, hope to drag Tab with me to the costume rental shop. Just keep reminding myself, 'once in a lifetime'
1) Make better food choices
2) Exercise more and regularly.
I have done 2 sessions of swimming this week, trying to align them on the same days as my driving school sessions so I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But going swimming 3 times would make things kinda boring. I did it a few months back while I was still working but kept having a strong sense of deja vu esp if the swims were on consecutive days.
Today around 5pm, I headed to the Clementi Gym. Its been a long while since I've gone to a gym, was using swimming to lose weight instead. So I targeted exercise for the thighs, stomach and triceps/shoulders cos all of these are my problem areas where I wish to tighten up.
The slider was tough. My initial target was 20mins of that but after 5mins my legs turned jelly. Alright will use 5mins as a base to build up upon. Then I headed to do the machines. Strength wise for the machines, I found that except my quads (front of the thighs muscle) the rest all detoriated in terms of Strength. Couldnt do as heavy as I did previously. But I did 2-3 sets of 20-35s for the specific machines. Then ended with the free weights. Could only do 1 set of the routine that I used to do. Did stretches and then left. About 53mins of workout and my hands were trembling from the exertion.
In-line with better food choice, I dabao Subway sandwich 6inch and drank Coke Light. Reached home, bathed, ate that and 2 sweet potato. Then practiced guitar, now online. Later dunno if I have energy to tidy up table and/or room a bit. Think my jap homework have to be deferred. My eyes are closing... Did slap on lots of Muscular ache cream to prevent the pain from 'overexerted, long time no use' muscle aches. Hope I covered the spots, or will have a tough time for at least 2days.
_________________________________________
While I was on my way home, i thought of Quetzal's invitation to get me to go for the upcoming Halloween party (aks at disco) I had turned her down cos that day is my sister's bdae. But it suddenly struck me. Hmm if I dont go for this one, when will I ever go? Next year, the year after that? So like a pity that I just turned down cos of own fears of whatever. Was toying with the idea of going instead, breaking out of the 'comfort zone' thingy like what Tab was nagging me about. Even to say next time, "Been there, Done that." Hmm since costumes can be rented, I just treat it as a "one of the things to do once in a lifetime" Smsed Quetzal, hope to drag Tab with me to the costume rental shop. Just keep reminding myself, 'once in a lifetime'
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Scratch that...
Yes in my post this morning, I was aiming to spend only RM$200 instead of RM$400, but I have failed.
3 pairs of ladies slippers/shoes => RM$124 (average RM$42 or S$$17.10 per pair)
New bag, with 3 tops => RM$86.08 (after the discount of RM$50 if you purchase RM$150, my bag alone cost RM$80 before all the discount)
Lunch at A&W => RM$15
Dinner at Jap place => RM$34
Sweet Potatoes => RM$10.40
2x Charcoal bread, 2 cheesecake => RM$15
Prepaid phone top-up => RM$20
Supermarket stuff => RM$22.60
Small pouch for PSP => RM$15.90
Underwear => RM$10
2nd Link toll and misc including petrol => RM$20
Massage for 1hr, purely neck and shoulder (VERY VERY GOOD) => RM$90 (with tip)
GRAND TOTAL of RM$463 (or roughly S$191.32) which is in the region of what I spent the other time...
Hmm... I am turning into a shopping whore!!! This is a worrying development.
But looking through the purchases, I am buying things that I need... Need a new bag to replace ageing and starting to have hole, sling bag.
Need ladies slippers for weddings, need a few plain tops without prints instead of the numerous printed Ts that I wear.
Need massage for my stiff neck and shoulders.
Need to top up prepaid card cos its value low, at least this time my supermarket stuff decreased by more than 2/3 compared to the other time, easily RM$80.
Oh well, there is going to be a next time, next trip I aim for max RM$300 bah.
_____________________________________________
Anyway I wish to write about the massage session. At Thai Odessey, they offered only 30mins of back massage which I did the last time we went into Jusco Tebrau last month. It was very good cos my neck didnt creak for 1 week. Thereafter it returned but taking the Glucosamine has helped it, less creaking.
We went into to Jusco Indrah and arrived near 2pm, a very big improvment of timing. 2The massage, I decided to go for a 2 set of 30mins half body to make an hour. So after all the shopping and eating are done, we headed there at 8pm.
The thai lady who massaged me is very good. She is rather gentle when needed and yet can press hard enough to hit the right spots. A few times, while pressing a certain spot, she asked me if "pain". Cos she cant speak much english, some simple words, I interpret it as she like saying those particular spots seem stiff or something so that would be causing me 'pain'
Then cos its 1hr instead of 30mins, she started asking first where I would like to do more, I pointed neck and shoulders, so she did a good bit of kneading and massaging around the neck first. Then I laid down for her to do the shoulders.
She had asked me earlier if I was alright with balm, which I agreed to. Unexpectedly after that, she bared my back and used the balm to do massage (must be those oil type which I havent done), felt a bit paiseh cos my figure not that good, must have fats to knead but after a while, it felt good enough to 'forget' the slight embarassment. After the long massage with balm and oil, she came back with a HOT piece of towel to warm the back and also more pressing with the hot towel. It was very shiok cos at first the balm was cold but after kneading felt warm, later got a bit cool but with the hot towel, very shiok.
Then cover back and continue more on neck and shoulder. Finally sat up and more neck and shoulder. Finally cracking the bones. She did about 5-6 different ways of cracking my bones, though only one managed to get lots of sound. Guess my bones are alright but it felt good. Gave her a bigger tip cos I was very satisfied with her service (wanted to give RM$10 but wondered if it was too much, settled for a bit lesser) Man that is a very satisfying back massage. Think I rather continue to go for half body massage esp for neck and shoulders instead of full body. They are so much for comfortable and relaxing and way more effective for me :) That is money well-spent indeed.
3 pairs of ladies slippers/shoes => RM$124 (average RM$42 or S$$17.10 per pair)
New bag, with 3 tops => RM$86.08 (after the discount of RM$50 if you purchase RM$150, my bag alone cost RM$80 before all the discount)
Lunch at A&W => RM$15
Dinner at Jap place => RM$34
Sweet Potatoes => RM$10.40
2x Charcoal bread, 2 cheesecake => RM$15
Prepaid phone top-up => RM$20
Supermarket stuff => RM$22.60
Small pouch for PSP => RM$15.90
Underwear => RM$10
2nd Link toll and misc including petrol => RM$20
Massage for 1hr, purely neck and shoulder (VERY VERY GOOD) => RM$90 (with tip)
GRAND TOTAL of RM$463 (or roughly S$191.32) which is in the region of what I spent the other time...
Hmm... I am turning into a shopping whore!!! This is a worrying development.
But looking through the purchases, I am buying things that I need... Need a new bag to replace ageing and starting to have hole, sling bag.
Need ladies slippers for weddings, need a few plain tops without prints instead of the numerous printed Ts that I wear.
Need massage for my stiff neck and shoulders.
Need to top up prepaid card cos its value low, at least this time my supermarket stuff decreased by more than 2/3 compared to the other time, easily RM$80.
Oh well, there is going to be a next time, next trip I aim for max RM$300 bah.
_____________________________________________
Anyway I wish to write about the massage session. At Thai Odessey, they offered only 30mins of back massage which I did the last time we went into Jusco Tebrau last month. It was very good cos my neck didnt creak for 1 week. Thereafter it returned but taking the Glucosamine has helped it, less creaking.
We went into to Jusco Indrah and arrived near 2pm, a very big improvment of timing. 2The massage, I decided to go for a 2 set of 30mins half body to make an hour. So after all the shopping and eating are done, we headed there at 8pm.
The thai lady who massaged me is very good. She is rather gentle when needed and yet can press hard enough to hit the right spots. A few times, while pressing a certain spot, she asked me if "pain". Cos she cant speak much english, some simple words, I interpret it as she like saying those particular spots seem stiff or something so that would be causing me 'pain'
Then cos its 1hr instead of 30mins, she started asking first where I would like to do more, I pointed neck and shoulders, so she did a good bit of kneading and massaging around the neck first. Then I laid down for her to do the shoulders.
She had asked me earlier if I was alright with balm, which I agreed to. Unexpectedly after that, she bared my back and used the balm to do massage (must be those oil type which I havent done), felt a bit paiseh cos my figure not that good, must have fats to knead but after a while, it felt good enough to 'forget' the slight embarassment. After the long massage with balm and oil, she came back with a HOT piece of towel to warm the back and also more pressing with the hot towel. It was very shiok cos at first the balm was cold but after kneading felt warm, later got a bit cool but with the hot towel, very shiok.
Then cover back and continue more on neck and shoulder. Finally sat up and more neck and shoulder. Finally cracking the bones. She did about 5-6 different ways of cracking my bones, though only one managed to get lots of sound. Guess my bones are alright but it felt good. Gave her a bigger tip cos I was very satisfied with her service (wanted to give RM$10 but wondered if it was too much, settled for a bit lesser) Man that is a very satisfying back massage. Think I rather continue to go for half body massage esp for neck and shoulders instead of full body. They are so much for comfortable and relaxing and way more effective for me :) That is money well-spent indeed.
An early morning on a Sat
Yep I woke up at 8.45am with the help of an alarm clock. Washed up and sat infront of laptop to feed my virtual army and run my virtual restaurant.
Is that the sole reason? Nope today heading to JB and hopefully we can reach a bit earlier than what we did the past few times. Maybe its cos I am used to reaching there before lunch, eat lunch and still can walk around alot and by the time, reached home, around 3-4pm. But of course that was with my Dad and there's no massage involved. Just mainly banking, breakfast/lunch, shopping around for Dvds, stationary, clothes etc. Ya so kinda used to those timing with regards to doing stuff in JB.
Another thing is that I kinda want to stretch out weekends, even before I am unemployed, always try to wake up earlier, or head out earlier so that by the time, everything is done, its still not that late to reach home, feel fulfilled and sleep. Though it can be said that everyday should be a Sunday cos I am not working but those days have stuff to do. Plus getting up at this timing everyday is currently not easy for a Night Owl.
Hmm I checked my JB bank account, still got some that I can spend, rather not change. Still have some RM in the Share trading account, though havent found out how to draw those out. Hmm... that's what I will do. Will control my spending also, no more RM$400, make it half that.
Is that the sole reason? Nope today heading to JB and hopefully we can reach a bit earlier than what we did the past few times. Maybe its cos I am used to reaching there before lunch, eat lunch and still can walk around alot and by the time, reached home, around 3-4pm. But of course that was with my Dad and there's no massage involved. Just mainly banking, breakfast/lunch, shopping around for Dvds, stationary, clothes etc. Ya so kinda used to those timing with regards to doing stuff in JB.
Another thing is that I kinda want to stretch out weekends, even before I am unemployed, always try to wake up earlier, or head out earlier so that by the time, everything is done, its still not that late to reach home, feel fulfilled and sleep. Though it can be said that everyday should be a Sunday cos I am not working but those days have stuff to do. Plus getting up at this timing everyday is currently not easy for a Night Owl.
Hmm I checked my JB bank account, still got some that I can spend, rather not change. Still have some RM in the Share trading account, though havent found out how to draw those out. Hmm... that's what I will do. Will control my spending also, no more RM$400, make it half that.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Still Passive?!?
Today is quite a fulfiling day. Perhaps it was the activities and the progress I am making that makes me feel so, though the nagging feeling of what to do next is still somewhere at the back of the head.
On the driving front, I passed my Final Theory Evaluation. Am heading on track for the Final Theory Test on 2nd November, less than 2 weeks from now. After which, I had booked 2 slots for practical and will intensify after 1-2 times to get the hang of things.
On the 'exercising' front. I weighed myself 2 days back and am shocked that I had gained weight even though my stomach is rather unstable for 2 weeks and I had been eating generally porridge for lunch on most days. Yet weight went up. Strange is my 3/4 dont feel tight BUT the based on the weighing scale, my FAT % has gone up from 33 to 35%! Man, I would have to try to make better food choices, eat lesser and also exercise more. There is just no way around this maxim "Exercise more, Eat less" which also coincides with the finanical maxim "Earn more, Spend less"
I managed to swim a 2nd time this week. This time, no naked Aunty phew, very little pple in the medium pool. I felt stronger this time, could do 16 laps. Around 12th lap, felt tired but persisted on to finish my target. Then head to have a cold, long shower in the changing room and ate a very early dinner at 5pm. Headed home, and watched a bit of Cable tv. My dad went out shortly after I came back. Mom's not back yet from her 3rd run-off. Ate my peeled apples, still have some left to finish up.
Tomorrow, have to meet another insurance agent, then maybe think of another exercise session or I would have to go home again to come out again later for dinner. Hmm... I would rather stay out if I can, but what to do and where to go to use up the time is a question that is still unanswered. Hmm but I still think getting out to walk around, look at people, is still way better than staying at home, online doing virtual gaming or just finding stuff online. Its more productive, in my opinion than to delve more into oneself.
Though Tab would disagree and as she had strongly advised me to 'break out of my comfort zone' by doing other stuff... which I dont find appealing at the moment. Then her warning of "or else, you will become like your father...." does scare me. Yet some activities that I listed to her, she said those are still 'passive' and still does not have much socializing aspect. Well unless I go and join a church group where there is more socializing, others with such socializing would only include 2 others that I can think of, dating groups *nope* and sports/adventure groups, the latter is much more appealing.
Hmm... try to pick up a martial art? Go for dance class? (but I dont like social dancing), go CC course but those most likely meet middle age pple, cooking class - meet aunties, go SportsCounsel courses, most likely meet ladies trying to lose weight. This is tough.
I would rather save up a bit to buy both a Blender and an Oven so that I can make more drinks and even try baking cookies, making cakes and even enclairs. They seem simple enough.
On the driving front, I passed my Final Theory Evaluation. Am heading on track for the Final Theory Test on 2nd November, less than 2 weeks from now. After which, I had booked 2 slots for practical and will intensify after 1-2 times to get the hang of things.
On the 'exercising' front. I weighed myself 2 days back and am shocked that I had gained weight even though my stomach is rather unstable for 2 weeks and I had been eating generally porridge for lunch on most days. Yet weight went up. Strange is my 3/4 dont feel tight BUT the based on the weighing scale, my FAT % has gone up from 33 to 35%! Man, I would have to try to make better food choices, eat lesser and also exercise more. There is just no way around this maxim "Exercise more, Eat less" which also coincides with the finanical maxim "Earn more, Spend less"
I managed to swim a 2nd time this week. This time, no naked Aunty phew, very little pple in the medium pool. I felt stronger this time, could do 16 laps. Around 12th lap, felt tired but persisted on to finish my target. Then head to have a cold, long shower in the changing room and ate a very early dinner at 5pm. Headed home, and watched a bit of Cable tv. My dad went out shortly after I came back. Mom's not back yet from her 3rd run-off. Ate my peeled apples, still have some left to finish up.
Tomorrow, have to meet another insurance agent, then maybe think of another exercise session or I would have to go home again to come out again later for dinner. Hmm... I would rather stay out if I can, but what to do and where to go to use up the time is a question that is still unanswered. Hmm but I still think getting out to walk around, look at people, is still way better than staying at home, online doing virtual gaming or just finding stuff online. Its more productive, in my opinion than to delve more into oneself.
Though Tab would disagree and as she had strongly advised me to 'break out of my comfort zone' by doing other stuff... which I dont find appealing at the moment. Then her warning of "or else, you will become like your father...." does scare me. Yet some activities that I listed to her, she said those are still 'passive' and still does not have much socializing aspect. Well unless I go and join a church group where there is more socializing, others with such socializing would only include 2 others that I can think of, dating groups *nope* and sports/adventure groups, the latter is much more appealing.
Hmm... try to pick up a martial art? Go for dance class? (but I dont like social dancing), go CC course but those most likely meet middle age pple, cooking class - meet aunties, go SportsCounsel courses, most likely meet ladies trying to lose weight. This is tough.
I would rather save up a bit to buy both a Blender and an Oven so that I can make more drinks and even try baking cookies, making cakes and even enclairs. They seem simple enough.
Mokona!
Yep I have been wanting to record Mokona's "pu pu" for my sms tune. The current one is a shorter version of "Under the sea" from Kingdom Heart 1 soundtrack. But still its a bit long. Had the idea of searching for it from the internet. So finally after much proscrastination, I went to youtube and searched.
Man, I cant find a clip with the sound "pu pu" clearly inside. I did find 2 cute videos. I have the Magic Rayearth Soundtrack with 2 Mokono songs but its not purely the "Pu Pu" sound and that's why didnt set as tone.
Cute Talking Mokono Role-Playing, quite funny
Mokono Song - Teaches u how to draw one
Mokono Song - another but faster and sung by the 3 Magic Rayearth girls, really liked this song for many years. Cute clip
AND I discovered that many others like Mokona very much that they created all sorts of clips about it. Wow.
Man, I cant find a clip with the sound "pu pu" clearly inside. I did find 2 cute videos. I have the Magic Rayearth Soundtrack with 2 Mokono songs but its not purely the "Pu Pu" sound and that's why didnt set as tone.
Cute Talking Mokono Role-Playing, quite funny
Mokono Song - Teaches u how to draw one
Mokono Song - another but faster and sung by the 3 Magic Rayearth girls, really liked this song for many years. Cute clip
AND I discovered that many others like Mokona very much that they created all sorts of clips about it. Wow.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Bush, Ice-cream, Winners and Losers
Today I woke up quite early, though I slept around 4.30am cos I was watching that stupid dvd, Blood, which is one of the most sucky movies I have ever encountered. The acting sucks, plot, effects, action, even ending. It belongs with '20th century boy and Existence' in the same pedigree.
I was trying very hard to sleep more though, managed to doze a little on and off repeatedly until the sun shone and heat up the wall beside the bed. Got up and heard how loud the tv was on. My dad was listening to his vcds/dvds and it was very loud. So loud that even though I shut the door, I could hear.
Got up, washed face, brushed teeth and asked my sister, Yingel what she wanted to eat. She had a day off in-lieu of Deepavali and was at home. I saw she was watching and listening to headphones, no wonder she could 'stand' the loud volume. Indeed I might have to resort to that too.
Cos didnt want to sit in the living room infront of laptop with tv blasting my ears, we headed out to eat lunch together. Then we headed to Ginza cos it was another HOT, ClOUDLESS, blue sky day. Headed there to enjoy the air con and escape the heat a bit. Walked around, went to the Popular. Then headed back after.
Then within 30mins, I had to head out reluctantly to the driving school. Today is another FT practice but the weather was SO bloody hot, unlike the weather 2 weeks ago where it was sunny but with lots of cloud and even breeze. Wore my visor to shield my face from the sun and headed out. The previous session, on my 3rd practice, I passed 5 booklets, today I passed another 5 booklets but failed 1. Wed is my last practice before Evaluation on Thurs. Then next week or so is my FT test.
I headed to the swimming pool after that. My period was over and looking at my lifestyle and flab, I decided that the only way about it is to exercise. No shortcut. Was very glad when I headed over to the changing room and saw that the medium pool wasnt crowded, could see a few free lanes. As I walked to the changing rooms, I saw something that rooted me momentarily. Think brain stalled too.
An aunty, of those age who have a kid at least 7 years old type, was standing naked just outside the changing room, folding her clothes and stuff. She doesnt have much breasts, saw the unflattering tummy and thighs and THE BUSH! ARGH!!!! My eyes, they bleed... OMFG, just cos u bring a kid doesnt mean u behave like one and do ur changing outside the changing room! I was so shocked, I headed straight to the changing and changed, mumbling about how some pple have no shame, u showed ur bush to ur husband and ur doctor while giving birth, doesnt mean u have to show me... Would it be better if it was the cunt of a young girl? a woman with better figure? Signz, show me a dick instead? I dont want to see somethink like my own. Same repels. Shake my head and headed out to swim.
Dunno why, but this time around, while swimming a few laps, I felt tired. Strange indeed. And while I was on 6th lap, suddenly got more family with young kids coming in to play with water. I quickly finished up to 10 laps, which by then, very hard to do proper laps cos of the number of pple and kids playing in the water. Was quite tired by then and decided to end. Went to have a nice long cold shower, thankfully no more hairy bush.
I decided to call home to check if Yingel had gone out. She mentioned about heading to Orchard. She was out by the time I called and I made my way down to meet her and Geoky later for dinner. She was browsing in Borders and I just sat down and played PSP. When it was near 7pm, we headed to Chahaya for a cheap dinner. The curry chicken with rice is very good, except a bit salty. I ordered the Hotplate crabmeat rice, the wantoons, youtiao and ice lemon tea. Geoky joined us later. All in, $19.50, about $6.50 per person. Quite affordable for a full meal in Orchard area.
We walked on a bit in Far East. Saw those long, chunky pendeants and there was one selling a 4 inch electric guitar. It looks very nice but a bit too chunky for my taste. Quite expensive at $20. Nice but dunno about useability of it.
Then we headed to ION orchard to eat the ice-cream. Forgot the name, but starts with G. It serves 3 flavours in a cup for $5.90 I ordered Green tea, Vanilla Cake and Swiss Cheese. My sisters bought Watermelon, Walnut, Strawberry, the other Peanut, Chestnut and Caramel. Geoky was commenting on how we didnt exactly dress very nicely. Yin was alright, Geoky too. I was in my 3/4, blue T-shirt, sling bag with a swim bag slinging over my shoulders. Not that presentable but heck it. But inside the ice-cream place, I noticed we the 2nd group of customers who ordered a cup each. The rest were 2-3 sharing a cup. Well not that bad for us I see.
The verdict. Green tea is thick and very strong tea flavour, not sweet type, nice. The Swiss cheese is surprisingly light and very tasty. The vanilla cake SUCKED to the core. It tasted chemically and like a rum and raisin but very chemically. Guess that's what I get when I dont do a sample first before ordering. There was this lady infront of us who was sampling quite a number of flavours, so much so that we, who were behind her, decided not to sample but just order. Watermelon is nice, Strawberry really tastes like the strawberry jam, Peanut is very peanutty, Walnut and Chestnut are tasty and Caramel is a safe and reliable option.
Then after that we decided to head home by cab cos Geoky was tired. Didnt mind paying a bit even though I was 'jobless' cos its not that much higher if we share out the cost amongst 3 of us. Later the whole topic about us being 'Losers' cos we dont dress up came up and we were actually comparing the total worth of things in our repective bags in the event someone snatched it.
Geoky
Wallet $10, money $30, hp free but assumed $100, waterbottle foc, bag $16, umbrella $10 => $170
Yingel
Wallet $120, money $50, hp assumed $100, bag $30 =>$300
Me
Wallet money $150, hp $100, I-touch $450, PSP $250 (both i-touch and PSP are depreciated value) bag $10 =>$860
Geoky was commenting how the 'worst' dressed but has the most value inside the scruffy looking bag. I agree. For most who dress up, besides wanting to be presentable which is fine, but doesnt mean they can afford the 'high' life or just by dressing up alone, makes them 'winners' and those who dont are 'losers'. That's not really how things work in real life. I am sure other things eg ur confidence, ur abilities and even ur perspective and outlook affects u feeling like a winner or a loser. Definitely not just clothes alone or even just material possessions alone.
All three of us were not wearing expensive clothes, our tops being in less than $20. Dunno why this 'Loser and Winner' thing came about. I just walked around without regard to what I think, the person who looks and sees me is supposedly thinking. Dolling up and dressing takes time and effort which I didnt see the need to cos I was actually only intending to head out to the driving school and also for a swim. The heading to Orchard came as a spontaneous decision, dont see the need to head home to dress up. Something like that.
But its a nice spontaneous decision that I dont regret. Hope to have more of these days, less the Bushes, and more the fun, I guess.
I was trying very hard to sleep more though, managed to doze a little on and off repeatedly until the sun shone and heat up the wall beside the bed. Got up and heard how loud the tv was on. My dad was listening to his vcds/dvds and it was very loud. So loud that even though I shut the door, I could hear.
Got up, washed face, brushed teeth and asked my sister, Yingel what she wanted to eat. She had a day off in-lieu of Deepavali and was at home. I saw she was watching and listening to headphones, no wonder she could 'stand' the loud volume. Indeed I might have to resort to that too.
Cos didnt want to sit in the living room infront of laptop with tv blasting my ears, we headed out to eat lunch together. Then we headed to Ginza cos it was another HOT, ClOUDLESS, blue sky day. Headed there to enjoy the air con and escape the heat a bit. Walked around, went to the Popular. Then headed back after.
Then within 30mins, I had to head out reluctantly to the driving school. Today is another FT practice but the weather was SO bloody hot, unlike the weather 2 weeks ago where it was sunny but with lots of cloud and even breeze. Wore my visor to shield my face from the sun and headed out. The previous session, on my 3rd practice, I passed 5 booklets, today I passed another 5 booklets but failed 1. Wed is my last practice before Evaluation on Thurs. Then next week or so is my FT test.
I headed to the swimming pool after that. My period was over and looking at my lifestyle and flab, I decided that the only way about it is to exercise. No shortcut. Was very glad when I headed over to the changing room and saw that the medium pool wasnt crowded, could see a few free lanes. As I walked to the changing rooms, I saw something that rooted me momentarily. Think brain stalled too.
An aunty, of those age who have a kid at least 7 years old type, was standing naked just outside the changing room, folding her clothes and stuff. She doesnt have much breasts, saw the unflattering tummy and thighs and THE BUSH! ARGH!!!! My eyes, they bleed... OMFG, just cos u bring a kid doesnt mean u behave like one and do ur changing outside the changing room! I was so shocked, I headed straight to the changing and changed, mumbling about how some pple have no shame, u showed ur bush to ur husband and ur doctor while giving birth, doesnt mean u have to show me... Would it be better if it was the cunt of a young girl? a woman with better figure? Signz, show me a dick instead? I dont want to see somethink like my own. Same repels. Shake my head and headed out to swim.
Dunno why, but this time around, while swimming a few laps, I felt tired. Strange indeed. And while I was on 6th lap, suddenly got more family with young kids coming in to play with water. I quickly finished up to 10 laps, which by then, very hard to do proper laps cos of the number of pple and kids playing in the water. Was quite tired by then and decided to end. Went to have a nice long cold shower, thankfully no more hairy bush.
I decided to call home to check if Yingel had gone out. She mentioned about heading to Orchard. She was out by the time I called and I made my way down to meet her and Geoky later for dinner. She was browsing in Borders and I just sat down and played PSP. When it was near 7pm, we headed to Chahaya for a cheap dinner. The curry chicken with rice is very good, except a bit salty. I ordered the Hotplate crabmeat rice, the wantoons, youtiao and ice lemon tea. Geoky joined us later. All in, $19.50, about $6.50 per person. Quite affordable for a full meal in Orchard area.
We walked on a bit in Far East. Saw those long, chunky pendeants and there was one selling a 4 inch electric guitar. It looks very nice but a bit too chunky for my taste. Quite expensive at $20. Nice but dunno about useability of it.
Then we headed to ION orchard to eat the ice-cream. Forgot the name, but starts with G. It serves 3 flavours in a cup for $5.90 I ordered Green tea, Vanilla Cake and Swiss Cheese. My sisters bought Watermelon, Walnut, Strawberry, the other Peanut, Chestnut and Caramel. Geoky was commenting on how we didnt exactly dress very nicely. Yin was alright, Geoky too. I was in my 3/4, blue T-shirt, sling bag with a swim bag slinging over my shoulders. Not that presentable but heck it. But inside the ice-cream place, I noticed we the 2nd group of customers who ordered a cup each. The rest were 2-3 sharing a cup. Well not that bad for us I see.
The verdict. Green tea is thick and very strong tea flavour, not sweet type, nice. The Swiss cheese is surprisingly light and very tasty. The vanilla cake SUCKED to the core. It tasted chemically and like a rum and raisin but very chemically. Guess that's what I get when I dont do a sample first before ordering. There was this lady infront of us who was sampling quite a number of flavours, so much so that we, who were behind her, decided not to sample but just order. Watermelon is nice, Strawberry really tastes like the strawberry jam, Peanut is very peanutty, Walnut and Chestnut are tasty and Caramel is a safe and reliable option.
Then after that we decided to head home by cab cos Geoky was tired. Didnt mind paying a bit even though I was 'jobless' cos its not that much higher if we share out the cost amongst 3 of us. Later the whole topic about us being 'Losers' cos we dont dress up came up and we were actually comparing the total worth of things in our repective bags in the event someone snatched it.
Geoky
Wallet $10, money $30, hp free but assumed $100, waterbottle foc, bag $16, umbrella $10 => $170
Yingel
Wallet $120, money $50, hp assumed $100, bag $30 =>$300
Me
Wallet money $150, hp $100, I-touch $450, PSP $250 (both i-touch and PSP are depreciated value) bag $10 =>$860
Geoky was commenting how the 'worst' dressed but has the most value inside the scruffy looking bag. I agree. For most who dress up, besides wanting to be presentable which is fine, but doesnt mean they can afford the 'high' life or just by dressing up alone, makes them 'winners' and those who dont are 'losers'. That's not really how things work in real life. I am sure other things eg ur confidence, ur abilities and even ur perspective and outlook affects u feeling like a winner or a loser. Definitely not just clothes alone or even just material possessions alone.
All three of us were not wearing expensive clothes, our tops being in less than $20. Dunno why this 'Loser and Winner' thing came about. I just walked around without regard to what I think, the person who looks and sees me is supposedly thinking. Dolling up and dressing takes time and effort which I didnt see the need to cos I was actually only intending to head out to the driving school and also for a swim. The heading to Orchard came as a spontaneous decision, dont see the need to head home to dress up. Something like that.
But its a nice spontaneous decision that I dont regret. Hope to have more of these days, less the Bushes, and more the fun, I guess.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Strange...
It is ironic.
When I was in the midst of working still, I felt life is kinda aimless. Now when I am not working, life is still kinda aimless. Even when I am doing so many things, I still have this nagging feeling that life is still aimless.
You dont choose to be 'alive' and u cant choose when it ends. You dont choose ur family, you cant choose ur looks, you cant choose ur country. U just exists and then life continues as it has always does.
Yes there are other choices to make it life, beyond the ones that u cant choose above. You can choose to be proactive, to be passive, to make urself happy, to be sad, to be extroverted, to be introverted, to blame everyone all around, to blame urself, to embrace ur dreams, to live in fears of treading outside the beaten path, to enjoy the process, to dread everyday, to live past your fears, to live trapped inside ... and so many more.
I am progressing fairly good in terms of my other pursuits. My guitar is progressing to 3rd stage, can play way better than before I started. My driving is proceeding nicely. Passed my Basic theory, got my PDL, at 3rd practice of Final Theory today, I passed 5 practice booklets at a shot. Have 2 more practice then going for Evaluation and then shortly in November, going for FT test and starting practical sessions. My jap is alright, I managed to passed my Level 6 test I think and for JLPT prep class, I managed to scrape through for the written part. Need to be more focused for listening.
On the stock market, I am turning into a slightly longer term cos I realized that if I sold those that I have on hand, just to 'feel' secure that I generated an income eg $1k for say month of Oct cos I am uneasy about this lack of income part, then I would miss out on much greater gains IF the prices go up further. So instead of making $300 per share, I might have sold it off at less than $100 gains per share. That is not good in terms of absolute amount. So mulitiply out, instead of making $3k, earn only $1k. So after 1 sale, I told myself, no more. Going to practice a different kind of patience now. One that is more long-term. Still havent hit $25k target mark, cos didnt make much sale in the 2 months that I have been unemployed. Made 2 sale but the absolute amount made does not replace 2 months income. So previously a bit anxious but I have to tell myself to go for a way bigger gain by holding on for more gains. Its not as though I need the money now, its just a very Mental security thingy I guess. That is something many investors will be familiar and have to overcome at times.
Family problems side, well mom has ran off to her hometown for the 3rd time into the 3rd month since things started. It will become another frequent thing. Ties are strained, and I cant help sighing at the state of things. But its their own lives, I cant dictate much. Just hope for the best.
At times I ask myself, whether I should be starting to look for a job now. But really I have NO idea of what I want to do, where should I head to. Was worried that getting a job would clash with my schedule of the pursuits esp driving and JLPT. Hmm if delay a bit more, it would soon hit 3 mths, 4mths, even 1/2 year mark? That wouldnt be good too... Was thinking of trying to apply for tuition centres, but that is only a thought thus far. Havent acted upon it yet to check out the working hours. Am I being too ambitious, doing so much and still thinking of a job at the same time, or am I being too lax? Should I pace myself a bit more, I dont know if I am ready for things yet or should I clear some a bit more to get settled.... Hmm... guess I need to think through some of these more deeply. Wouldnt want to end up as a permanently unemployed unless my shares can generate that BIG of an income. I have a 6 mths buffer from my stock gains but I dont wish to prolong it too much unnecessarily... Signz but with things at home and even being rather busy doing all the courses, I find I dont think through these as much. Maybe I am not ready yet. Hope to find 'the drive' eventually
When I was in the midst of working still, I felt life is kinda aimless. Now when I am not working, life is still kinda aimless. Even when I am doing so many things, I still have this nagging feeling that life is still aimless.
You dont choose to be 'alive' and u cant choose when it ends. You dont choose ur family, you cant choose ur looks, you cant choose ur country. U just exists and then life continues as it has always does.
Yes there are other choices to make it life, beyond the ones that u cant choose above. You can choose to be proactive, to be passive, to make urself happy, to be sad, to be extroverted, to be introverted, to blame everyone all around, to blame urself, to embrace ur dreams, to live in fears of treading outside the beaten path, to enjoy the process, to dread everyday, to live past your fears, to live trapped inside ... and so many more.
I am progressing fairly good in terms of my other pursuits. My guitar is progressing to 3rd stage, can play way better than before I started. My driving is proceeding nicely. Passed my Basic theory, got my PDL, at 3rd practice of Final Theory today, I passed 5 practice booklets at a shot. Have 2 more practice then going for Evaluation and then shortly in November, going for FT test and starting practical sessions. My jap is alright, I managed to passed my Level 6 test I think and for JLPT prep class, I managed to scrape through for the written part. Need to be more focused for listening.
On the stock market, I am turning into a slightly longer term cos I realized that if I sold those that I have on hand, just to 'feel' secure that I generated an income eg $1k for say month of Oct cos I am uneasy about this lack of income part, then I would miss out on much greater gains IF the prices go up further. So instead of making $300 per share, I might have sold it off at less than $100 gains per share. That is not good in terms of absolute amount. So mulitiply out, instead of making $3k, earn only $1k. So after 1 sale, I told myself, no more. Going to practice a different kind of patience now. One that is more long-term. Still havent hit $25k target mark, cos didnt make much sale in the 2 months that I have been unemployed. Made 2 sale but the absolute amount made does not replace 2 months income. So previously a bit anxious but I have to tell myself to go for a way bigger gain by holding on for more gains. Its not as though I need the money now, its just a very Mental security thingy I guess. That is something many investors will be familiar and have to overcome at times.
Family problems side, well mom has ran off to her hometown for the 3rd time into the 3rd month since things started. It will become another frequent thing. Ties are strained, and I cant help sighing at the state of things. But its their own lives, I cant dictate much. Just hope for the best.
At times I ask myself, whether I should be starting to look for a job now. But really I have NO idea of what I want to do, where should I head to. Was worried that getting a job would clash with my schedule of the pursuits esp driving and JLPT. Hmm if delay a bit more, it would soon hit 3 mths, 4mths, even 1/2 year mark? That wouldnt be good too... Was thinking of trying to apply for tuition centres, but that is only a thought thus far. Havent acted upon it yet to check out the working hours. Am I being too ambitious, doing so much and still thinking of a job at the same time, or am I being too lax? Should I pace myself a bit more, I dont know if I am ready for things yet or should I clear some a bit more to get settled.... Hmm... guess I need to think through some of these more deeply. Wouldnt want to end up as a permanently unemployed unless my shares can generate that BIG of an income. I have a 6 mths buffer from my stock gains but I dont wish to prolong it too much unnecessarily... Signz but with things at home and even being rather busy doing all the courses, I find I dont think through these as much. Maybe I am not ready yet. Hope to find 'the drive' eventually
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
MMORPGs and the 'Human' factor
*brusbes away the dust and cobsweb accumluated*
Ya its been a while since I've blogged, which is rather unusual cos I try to do it whenever there's things happening, be it good especially and when I feel bad.
The whole game thingy suddenly took up ALOT of my time and energy, when I was suddenly made the Guild leader after the previous one decided to drop out cos of Real-Life constraints. The problem is that there was this all-out war bet us and a huge guild with its sister guilds. Before this leadership thingy, I was putting more time into this for >2 weeks helping out the smaller members. Then the sudden coming into 'leadership' at a time like these, plus losing 4-5 very strong members, meant a tough job of holding up against the onslaught.
At first, after rallying them, thinking of some measures that can be taken to strengthened everyone, things held up for more than 2 weeks. I was doing yahoo messanger conferences doing diplomacy to settle relations, online to monitor war reports to reinforce members, talking to members in member chats, reading and replying the tonnes of mail I suddenly got. Though largely the actives were more tired from extra hrs and effort, we actually held up. A big group of inactives didnt help at all in terms of bolstering defenses. It was a drain on the active larger players who were just 5 or so. It was slowly draining us and if it persisted even longer, most would give up the game.
But then another completely different guild atked and things started unravelling. Diplomancy attempts met with silence from the leaders of those guilds. Hence after being pretty much burnt-out myself. I initiated some diplomacy and got responses, where I tried to settle the transistion of letting actives join other alliances. Though there were back-stabbing, cohersion and even alot of deal-cutting, some got through. And soon the actives were starting to leave. I didnt monitor how they ended up as, did they manage to go into the other guild or fell out unprotected? I couldnt know for all. But they will have to continue their journey on their own. They would have to make that decision whether to cotinue playing or stoppping.
I hung on a bit to aid this transition esp last sunday til now. I was feeling the effects of many hours online, late nights and even cant sleep well. At this point, most have left at this point. I am left with a few reluctant, undecided and alot of silence from others that can be presumed dead.
Just yesterday finally ensured that my cities were taken by members who are going to put to good use. Left with a little bit more of things to do before I execute my end in 'a blaze of glory' and thus permanently shut and delete all links to this game.
As a game it was actually pretty alright, as in I can fit it into my schedule pretty okay until this war broke out so I put in a bit of extra time and then when I became leader, even more hours cos of time zone difference. Multi-tasking on so many aspects that in other alliances are done by an entire team of plaers. Yet this problem arose cos 4-5 stong ones left around the same period.
Yes it is a game. That part I know, yet cos there are 'people' u know through these few months of playing that I would like to help out. Also wanna 'return' the favour. And others also. Hence I hung on and came up with what I could. Now is into the last bits.
Tab was very surprised when i told her about the game stuff. Her response was like "You just need to shut it for 5 days, let all ur troops die and viola, or throw that leadership to others since u mentioned u are stressed by it" Hmm this is coming from a non-gamer with valid points. I admit. Yet in the world of MMORPG where real people interact, I tell u, things are WAY beyond just doing ur own thing. So call 'virtual' bonds and friendship are forged. Look no further to WOW and the millions of players who are online. They pay monthly subscription to play, log in after their work and meals, sacrifice sleep. Thinking its a just a game that one can walk away is difficult. The ease of 'walking away' from a game becomes harder when,
1) U put in money/time/effort.
2) U enjoy the company of the people in ur guild
3) Ease of accessibility to internet.
Even Social networking pages like Facebook has certain features of this involved. And also we are looking at addiction through the above factors. There are pple spending hrs on Facebook, that can match MMORPGs too.
So when it takes a toll on you, you have to decide how to manage it so that u can continue, if not, when and how to stop completely. My solution though not as 'fast' as Tab's suggested way, would take me slightly longer, think at most 2 days more at this point, to stop and then no more MMORPG or games that have to interact with REAL players to play the game. Things become too complex when REAL people are involved in Virtual online world where words may not count as much, backstabbing, undermining, deal cutting are the things that takes a toll, not the actual game itself. It evolves to become more than a game due to the HUMAN factor hence MMORPG which is the exact appeal of one. The 'human' factor.
Games like RPG instead would serve me better. I should go back to PSP and PS instead. But I am managing so far so no worries. Then can focus on my driving, guitar, japanese. I wouldnt say I have completely neglected them. In fact I try to make time for all. Its just when the leadership role plonked on me, my jap homework, I didnt do as much, my guitar I practiced a bit lesser but made up for it later on when I pulled myself away from the screen resolutely last Sat and Sunday.
To me, now I am not as constraint to the screen as before. In fact, I am back to just logging in twice a day, late morning or afternoon, then evening. I am no longer going into yahoo messanger cos my plans of dispersing those is almost completed. Then lsstly is the End Game.
And u will be surprised as a non-gamer to know that actually people go for Virtual things more than real-life things. Cos there is a quality abt being virtual. It is a refuge to life's problems and stuff for some, a place of 'friendship' for some esp when u meet like-minded people, a place to let loose your 'alter-ego' and become powerful for some. That would require a whole exploration into this whole MMORPG thingy, think there is already some literature on this. Hence its really not as simple as walking away or dropping. Depends on ur lvl of commitment to it, really.
Guess my alter-ego is an honourable and responsible leader when I am suddenly thrusted into leadership. Cos that's mostly how I play my games. Dependable and helpful, and usually peace-loving and cautious AND I dont do leadership... my strengths are my weaknesses too. Think I do know myself too well.
Oh well, once a little bit more things are settled.... Its on to Plan EndGame.
Ya its been a while since I've blogged, which is rather unusual cos I try to do it whenever there's things happening, be it good especially and when I feel bad.
The whole game thingy suddenly took up ALOT of my time and energy, when I was suddenly made the Guild leader after the previous one decided to drop out cos of Real-Life constraints. The problem is that there was this all-out war bet us and a huge guild with its sister guilds. Before this leadership thingy, I was putting more time into this for >2 weeks helping out the smaller members. Then the sudden coming into 'leadership' at a time like these, plus losing 4-5 very strong members, meant a tough job of holding up against the onslaught.
At first, after rallying them, thinking of some measures that can be taken to strengthened everyone, things held up for more than 2 weeks. I was doing yahoo messanger conferences doing diplomacy to settle relations, online to monitor war reports to reinforce members, talking to members in member chats, reading and replying the tonnes of mail I suddenly got. Though largely the actives were more tired from extra hrs and effort, we actually held up. A big group of inactives didnt help at all in terms of bolstering defenses. It was a drain on the active larger players who were just 5 or so. It was slowly draining us and if it persisted even longer, most would give up the game.
But then another completely different guild atked and things started unravelling. Diplomancy attempts met with silence from the leaders of those guilds. Hence after being pretty much burnt-out myself. I initiated some diplomacy and got responses, where I tried to settle the transistion of letting actives join other alliances. Though there were back-stabbing, cohersion and even alot of deal-cutting, some got through. And soon the actives were starting to leave. I didnt monitor how they ended up as, did they manage to go into the other guild or fell out unprotected? I couldnt know for all. But they will have to continue their journey on their own. They would have to make that decision whether to cotinue playing or stoppping.
I hung on a bit to aid this transition esp last sunday til now. I was feeling the effects of many hours online, late nights and even cant sleep well. At this point, most have left at this point. I am left with a few reluctant, undecided and alot of silence from others that can be presumed dead.
Just yesterday finally ensured that my cities were taken by members who are going to put to good use. Left with a little bit more of things to do before I execute my end in 'a blaze of glory' and thus permanently shut and delete all links to this game.
As a game it was actually pretty alright, as in I can fit it into my schedule pretty okay until this war broke out so I put in a bit of extra time and then when I became leader, even more hours cos of time zone difference. Multi-tasking on so many aspects that in other alliances are done by an entire team of plaers. Yet this problem arose cos 4-5 stong ones left around the same period.
Yes it is a game. That part I know, yet cos there are 'people' u know through these few months of playing that I would like to help out. Also wanna 'return' the favour. And others also. Hence I hung on and came up with what I could. Now is into the last bits.
Tab was very surprised when i told her about the game stuff. Her response was like "You just need to shut it for 5 days, let all ur troops die and viola, or throw that leadership to others since u mentioned u are stressed by it" Hmm this is coming from a non-gamer with valid points. I admit. Yet in the world of MMORPG where real people interact, I tell u, things are WAY beyond just doing ur own thing. So call 'virtual' bonds and friendship are forged. Look no further to WOW and the millions of players who are online. They pay monthly subscription to play, log in after their work and meals, sacrifice sleep. Thinking its a just a game that one can walk away is difficult. The ease of 'walking away' from a game becomes harder when,
1) U put in money/time/effort.
2) U enjoy the company of the people in ur guild
3) Ease of accessibility to internet.
Even Social networking pages like Facebook has certain features of this involved. And also we are looking at addiction through the above factors. There are pple spending hrs on Facebook, that can match MMORPGs too.
So when it takes a toll on you, you have to decide how to manage it so that u can continue, if not, when and how to stop completely. My solution though not as 'fast' as Tab's suggested way, would take me slightly longer, think at most 2 days more at this point, to stop and then no more MMORPG or games that have to interact with REAL players to play the game. Things become too complex when REAL people are involved in Virtual online world where words may not count as much, backstabbing, undermining, deal cutting are the things that takes a toll, not the actual game itself. It evolves to become more than a game due to the HUMAN factor hence MMORPG which is the exact appeal of one. The 'human' factor.
Games like RPG instead would serve me better. I should go back to PSP and PS instead. But I am managing so far so no worries. Then can focus on my driving, guitar, japanese. I wouldnt say I have completely neglected them. In fact I try to make time for all. Its just when the leadership role plonked on me, my jap homework, I didnt do as much, my guitar I practiced a bit lesser but made up for it later on when I pulled myself away from the screen resolutely last Sat and Sunday.
To me, now I am not as constraint to the screen as before. In fact, I am back to just logging in twice a day, late morning or afternoon, then evening. I am no longer going into yahoo messanger cos my plans of dispersing those is almost completed. Then lsstly is the End Game.
And u will be surprised as a non-gamer to know that actually people go for Virtual things more than real-life things. Cos there is a quality abt being virtual. It is a refuge to life's problems and stuff for some, a place of 'friendship' for some esp when u meet like-minded people, a place to let loose your 'alter-ego' and become powerful for some. That would require a whole exploration into this whole MMORPG thingy, think there is already some literature on this. Hence its really not as simple as walking away or dropping. Depends on ur lvl of commitment to it, really.
Guess my alter-ego is an honourable and responsible leader when I am suddenly thrusted into leadership. Cos that's mostly how I play my games. Dependable and helpful, and usually peace-loving and cautious AND I dont do leadership... my strengths are my weaknesses too. Think I do know myself too well.
Oh well, once a little bit more things are settled.... Its on to Plan EndGame.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Huge SIGH....
The trip back to my bro's place was partly cos he asked whether I was alright over the game Evony, that I should go down to 'chill' a bit. Guess he was reading my blog and stuff.
So when my guitar class got postponed and that I didnt pre-arranged any driving theory practice, having passed my Basic evaluation, I was free from Thurs to Monday, after which my schedule resumes, with Jap - Tue, Wed, Driving maybe Mon and/or Thurs, Guitar - Fri. Taking his advise, I hopped down alone taking the KMT train. He fetched me from the train station. It is ill-advised to travel in Malaysia without a car cos the sun is ultra-hot, plus huge long distances and lack of familarity.
Basically I had brought stuff to read, jap homework to do, stock book to read and driving theory books. Guess what I did instead? Played Evony, looked a bit through facebook, then watching Anime: Code Geauzz (have to doulbe check spelling). The irony thing is I am trying to listen to the jap, but reading the subtitles in Mandarin and yet translating and understanding the whole story in my mind to English... kinda complicated.
Our meals eaten outside include chicken rice, wonton mee, roti prata for lunch and Zhi Char for dinner and Nasi Goreng USA. I ate almost all the things I wanted to eat except Satay which I just ate with Geoky. Then drinking Honey Ice Tea in cans, eating potato chips while watching anime. Sounds like a holiday of sort, but kinda too Otaku. I did hop down to the tuition centra once, observed a very very little bit. Next round, I will endeavour to sit through an entire lesson instead of half-way, near-end.
Mainly uneventful which is fine with me. Though I did sleep very late also watching anime. Finished Season 1 and was 3/4 through Season 2... hope to find online and continue.
Did shop at the 'Orchard Road' of segamat.... and tried very hard to spend my RM, again which I spent the most if not solely on grocery and snacks and also lunch and dinner. Ran a couple of errands, went to bank and went to temple to pray. Everytime I go to the temple, I am not praying for myself. I pray that family's health will be good, for those working let things be smooth, let the current situation dissolve peacefully somehow, then finally i hope to have some guidance about my next job, at times I am not even asking about my job. Just want things back to somewhat normal but what was 'normal' previously, was it just a facade?... *confused* can only hope for divine intervention or just hope.
Came back around 4.30pm from the 11.55am train. It was quite punctual and surprisingly faster to return than to go in. Arrived around 3.30pm plus but I didnt want to take the cab. Decided to take public transport from the Woodlands Checkpoint. Took a bus to the Woodland MRT, hopped on Mrt all the way down, 9 stations to Clementi, took a feeder bus home. Its actually convenient except IF you are carrying tonnes of stuff which my mom has a tendency to do. I only had 2 bags. One is my blue bag with my books and electronic and valuables. The other is my BIG laptop bagpack which I put in clothes, wires for recharging and toiletries. That's all. But on my way back, I had to squeeze stuff in that bag cos my mom wanted to bring some stuff back which I just squeezed in cos its very hard to travel with more than 2 bags to handle esp going up and down train. Cant imagine 4-5 bags that she does with... no wonder why I often end up as the one helping to carry... but nevermind about that, some are old habits formed over years.
Overall it was a good short trip despite my brother having to focus on his own career and relationship but at least we still eat meals together, got talk about the current family situation, he hear me out about my frustrations and worries, I hear him out about his. Try to advise each other a bit, trying to think of solutions and means but we are NOT the main parties involved... *sigh*
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Came home 4.30pm, it was empty. Parents had gone home to attend a relative's funeral. Then I sms Geoky to check. We had satay dinner where she told me about her amusing yet expensive hair cut and colour.
Shortly after we reached home, call from mom. I was later filled about what had transpired in the short time I wasnt around.
*heaves a HUGE sigh* My feeling is SHIT will hit the fan soon or eventually. And I dont want to be around to have to help clean it. I think I was facing some sort of burnout also when my mom first time just ran off and I was doing most of the chores almost daily. Then when it happened a second time, I chose partly not to do much chores instead. I didnt cook cos i was busier, having lessons almost mon to fri. Also nobody around to eat dinner. Imagine if I cook for 4 pple but only 2 pple end up eating. Its kinda sad for the person who cooks, expecting 4 pple to eat, cos it takes time and effort to cook dishes. Instead the 2nd time, on weekdays, as I was heading out almost every evening, I packed lunch for myself and dad daily. The rest had to settle their own dinner. Helped to do what I can instead of stressing myself over the amount of chores to do. Some I somewhat refuse to do, eg laundry. Each did their own and I did the common one.
Signz... whatever happened to family ties and bonds? Is it so easy to treat each other as strangers? Some I dont even recognize anymore. Is this how ties end? I am also guilty of this, hardly speaking to my dad and only speak a bit with mom. I am really refraining from opening my mouth, cos I might regret what I say, be it intentional or unintentional or with all the pent-up frustration, I dont know what I will say. So I chose to clamp up, remain silent about the frustrations, worries. At times, I felt like telling each one off and then just washing my hands entirely. But cos its family hence kept refraining and clamping up. The short stay helped a bit but seriously how long more can this go on? *heaves HUGE sigh*
So when my guitar class got postponed and that I didnt pre-arranged any driving theory practice, having passed my Basic evaluation, I was free from Thurs to Monday, after which my schedule resumes, with Jap - Tue, Wed, Driving maybe Mon and/or Thurs, Guitar - Fri. Taking his advise, I hopped down alone taking the KMT train. He fetched me from the train station. It is ill-advised to travel in Malaysia without a car cos the sun is ultra-hot, plus huge long distances and lack of familarity.
Basically I had brought stuff to read, jap homework to do, stock book to read and driving theory books. Guess what I did instead? Played Evony, looked a bit through facebook, then watching Anime: Code Geauzz (have to doulbe check spelling). The irony thing is I am trying to listen to the jap, but reading the subtitles in Mandarin and yet translating and understanding the whole story in my mind to English... kinda complicated.
Our meals eaten outside include chicken rice, wonton mee, roti prata for lunch and Zhi Char for dinner and Nasi Goreng USA. I ate almost all the things I wanted to eat except Satay which I just ate with Geoky. Then drinking Honey Ice Tea in cans, eating potato chips while watching anime. Sounds like a holiday of sort, but kinda too Otaku. I did hop down to the tuition centra once, observed a very very little bit. Next round, I will endeavour to sit through an entire lesson instead of half-way, near-end.
Mainly uneventful which is fine with me. Though I did sleep very late also watching anime. Finished Season 1 and was 3/4 through Season 2... hope to find online and continue.
Did shop at the 'Orchard Road' of segamat.... and tried very hard to spend my RM, again which I spent the most if not solely on grocery and snacks and also lunch and dinner. Ran a couple of errands, went to bank and went to temple to pray. Everytime I go to the temple, I am not praying for myself. I pray that family's health will be good, for those working let things be smooth, let the current situation dissolve peacefully somehow, then finally i hope to have some guidance about my next job, at times I am not even asking about my job. Just want things back to somewhat normal but what was 'normal' previously, was it just a facade?... *confused* can only hope for divine intervention or just hope.
Came back around 4.30pm from the 11.55am train. It was quite punctual and surprisingly faster to return than to go in. Arrived around 3.30pm plus but I didnt want to take the cab. Decided to take public transport from the Woodlands Checkpoint. Took a bus to the Woodland MRT, hopped on Mrt all the way down, 9 stations to Clementi, took a feeder bus home. Its actually convenient except IF you are carrying tonnes of stuff which my mom has a tendency to do. I only had 2 bags. One is my blue bag with my books and electronic and valuables. The other is my BIG laptop bagpack which I put in clothes, wires for recharging and toiletries. That's all. But on my way back, I had to squeeze stuff in that bag cos my mom wanted to bring some stuff back which I just squeezed in cos its very hard to travel with more than 2 bags to handle esp going up and down train. Cant imagine 4-5 bags that she does with... no wonder why I often end up as the one helping to carry... but nevermind about that, some are old habits formed over years.
Overall it was a good short trip despite my brother having to focus on his own career and relationship but at least we still eat meals together, got talk about the current family situation, he hear me out about my frustrations and worries, I hear him out about his. Try to advise each other a bit, trying to think of solutions and means but we are NOT the main parties involved... *sigh*
_______________________________________________________
Came home 4.30pm, it was empty. Parents had gone home to attend a relative's funeral. Then I sms Geoky to check. We had satay dinner where she told me about her amusing yet expensive hair cut and colour.
Shortly after we reached home, call from mom. I was later filled about what had transpired in the short time I wasnt around.
*heaves a HUGE sigh* My feeling is SHIT will hit the fan soon or eventually. And I dont want to be around to have to help clean it. I think I was facing some sort of burnout also when my mom first time just ran off and I was doing most of the chores almost daily. Then when it happened a second time, I chose partly not to do much chores instead. I didnt cook cos i was busier, having lessons almost mon to fri. Also nobody around to eat dinner. Imagine if I cook for 4 pple but only 2 pple end up eating. Its kinda sad for the person who cooks, expecting 4 pple to eat, cos it takes time and effort to cook dishes. Instead the 2nd time, on weekdays, as I was heading out almost every evening, I packed lunch for myself and dad daily. The rest had to settle their own dinner. Helped to do what I can instead of stressing myself over the amount of chores to do. Some I somewhat refuse to do, eg laundry. Each did their own and I did the common one.
Signz... whatever happened to family ties and bonds? Is it so easy to treat each other as strangers? Some I dont even recognize anymore. Is this how ties end? I am also guilty of this, hardly speaking to my dad and only speak a bit with mom. I am really refraining from opening my mouth, cos I might regret what I say, be it intentional or unintentional or with all the pent-up frustration, I dont know what I will say. So I chose to clamp up, remain silent about the frustrations, worries. At times, I felt like telling each one off and then just washing my hands entirely. But cos its family hence kept refraining and clamping up. The short stay helped a bit but seriously how long more can this go on? *heaves HUGE sigh*
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