*brusbes away the dust and cobsweb accumluated*
Ya its been a while since I've blogged, which is rather unusual cos I try to do it whenever there's things happening, be it good especially and when I feel bad.
The whole game thingy suddenly took up ALOT of my time and energy, when I was suddenly made the Guild leader after the previous one decided to drop out cos of Real-Life constraints. The problem is that there was this all-out war bet us and a huge guild with its sister guilds. Before this leadership thingy, I was putting more time into this for >2 weeks helping out the smaller members. Then the sudden coming into 'leadership' at a time like these, plus losing 4-5 very strong members, meant a tough job of holding up against the onslaught.
At first, after rallying them, thinking of some measures that can be taken to strengthened everyone, things held up for more than 2 weeks. I was doing yahoo messanger conferences doing diplomacy to settle relations, online to monitor war reports to reinforce members, talking to members in member chats, reading and replying the tonnes of mail I suddenly got. Though largely the actives were more tired from extra hrs and effort, we actually held up. A big group of inactives didnt help at all in terms of bolstering defenses. It was a drain on the active larger players who were just 5 or so. It was slowly draining us and if it persisted even longer, most would give up the game.
But then another completely different guild atked and things started unravelling. Diplomancy attempts met with silence from the leaders of those guilds. Hence after being pretty much burnt-out myself. I initiated some diplomacy and got responses, where I tried to settle the transistion of letting actives join other alliances. Though there were back-stabbing, cohersion and even alot of deal-cutting, some got through. And soon the actives were starting to leave. I didnt monitor how they ended up as, did they manage to go into the other guild or fell out unprotected? I couldnt know for all. But they will have to continue their journey on their own. They would have to make that decision whether to cotinue playing or stoppping.
I hung on a bit to aid this transition esp last sunday til now. I was feeling the effects of many hours online, late nights and even cant sleep well. At this point, most have left at this point. I am left with a few reluctant, undecided and alot of silence from others that can be presumed dead.
Just yesterday finally ensured that my cities were taken by members who are going to put to good use. Left with a little bit more of things to do before I execute my end in 'a blaze of glory' and thus permanently shut and delete all links to this game.
As a game it was actually pretty alright, as in I can fit it into my schedule pretty okay until this war broke out so I put in a bit of extra time and then when I became leader, even more hours cos of time zone difference. Multi-tasking on so many aspects that in other alliances are done by an entire team of plaers. Yet this problem arose cos 4-5 stong ones left around the same period.
Yes it is a game. That part I know, yet cos there are 'people' u know through these few months of playing that I would like to help out. Also wanna 'return' the favour. And others also. Hence I hung on and came up with what I could. Now is into the last bits.
Tab was very surprised when i told her about the game stuff. Her response was like "You just need to shut it for 5 days, let all ur troops die and viola, or throw that leadership to others since u mentioned u are stressed by it" Hmm this is coming from a non-gamer with valid points. I admit. Yet in the world of MMORPG where real people interact, I tell u, things are WAY beyond just doing ur own thing. So call 'virtual' bonds and friendship are forged. Look no further to WOW and the millions of players who are online. They pay monthly subscription to play, log in after their work and meals, sacrifice sleep. Thinking its a just a game that one can walk away is difficult. The ease of 'walking away' from a game becomes harder when,
1) U put in money/time/effort.
2) U enjoy the company of the people in ur guild
3) Ease of accessibility to internet.
Even Social networking pages like Facebook has certain features of this involved. And also we are looking at addiction through the above factors. There are pple spending hrs on Facebook, that can match MMORPGs too.
So when it takes a toll on you, you have to decide how to manage it so that u can continue, if not, when and how to stop completely. My solution though not as 'fast' as Tab's suggested way, would take me slightly longer, think at most 2 days more at this point, to stop and then no more MMORPG or games that have to interact with REAL players to play the game. Things become too complex when REAL people are involved in Virtual online world where words may not count as much, backstabbing, undermining, deal cutting are the things that takes a toll, not the actual game itself. It evolves to become more than a game due to the HUMAN factor hence MMORPG which is the exact appeal of one. The 'human' factor.
Games like RPG instead would serve me better. I should go back to PSP and PS instead. But I am managing so far so no worries. Then can focus on my driving, guitar, japanese. I wouldnt say I have completely neglected them. In fact I try to make time for all. Its just when the leadership role plonked on me, my jap homework, I didnt do as much, my guitar I practiced a bit lesser but made up for it later on when I pulled myself away from the screen resolutely last Sat and Sunday.
To me, now I am not as constraint to the screen as before. In fact, I am back to just logging in twice a day, late morning or afternoon, then evening. I am no longer going into yahoo messanger cos my plans of dispersing those is almost completed. Then lsstly is the End Game.
And u will be surprised as a non-gamer to know that actually people go for Virtual things more than real-life things. Cos there is a quality abt being virtual. It is a refuge to life's problems and stuff for some, a place of 'friendship' for some esp when u meet like-minded people, a place to let loose your 'alter-ego' and become powerful for some. That would require a whole exploration into this whole MMORPG thingy, think there is already some literature on this. Hence its really not as simple as walking away or dropping. Depends on ur lvl of commitment to it, really.
Guess my alter-ego is an honourable and responsible leader when I am suddenly thrusted into leadership. Cos that's mostly how I play my games. Dependable and helpful, and usually peace-loving and cautious AND I dont do leadership... my strengths are my weaknesses too. Think I do know myself too well.
Oh well, once a little bit more things are settled.... Its on to Plan EndGame.
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