Saturday, January 30, 2010

Disappointed, Feeling rejected and Standing up again

Disappointed

The job search is not going anywhere. On appearance, all are a waste of time. I had gone for about 9-10 education related ones.

Of them, so far I had 3 offers which I turned down. The first being that 2k for 6 days, the second being 2.5k for 5 days but no weekend and public holiday, and the 3rd being the $30 per hr but prepare my own materials but in the end the scheduled classes makes up only 6hrs a week for 4 days of work. All are not what I had expected nor do they appear decent. Well at least 3 out of 10 get offers, be it poor or good offer.

What really diasppointed me was the centre, which had arranged for a trial lesson. Then maybe work out a schedule. Postponed from last Sat to this Wed. Then I headed down on Wed and was told they forgot to contact me about postponing. Imagine I reached inside for less than 5mins, told the news that they forgot. And besides a word "sorry", there wasnt any effort made to make some sort of arrangement except next wed cos I told them I couldnt make on friday. I had told FH I was going in, even though FH had indicated to me that I could leave anytime but I had already DID my part by turning up. You are the one at fault for changing on me. Then less than 5mins after arriving, I left to go home. Of course I grumbled at the bus stop, calling Candle to complain.

The next day I went for the Shanghai interview at Hougang area. Got to get up earlier and head out and travel longer to reach. Took a while to finally locate and find the place cos took the feeder bus and it took damn long for a ride. Anyway after the interview, I headed straight back to MRT and headed to driving school. I had gotten a driving slot finally and this sudden, last minute interview came in suddenly. Only consolation is that they dont clash. Arrived at driving centre, without having time to eat and did almost 100 mins full of driving with no stops. After the lesson, was so zombified. Met up with Tab and Candle for dinner and then Quetzal came and we walked around a bit.

Feeling rejected

Reached home, checked email and saw that tuition centre that postponed on me, sent me an email to 'cancel' me cos they found a part time, and I was looking for more full-time so they dont want to hold me back. PUI PUI PUI. After reading that, all my foul language came out. Usually I dont use the cb, lj, fcuk b1tch but all those came out. Didnt want to fuss family, so just sian and cuss that centre and that b1tch. Then later on, after checking the stocks, I went to bed cursing and swearing still. Then watched a bit of Naruto anime and then slept earlier at 1am cos I needed to work the next day. Was feeling the effect of sleeplessness on Wed evening.

Standing up again

Woke up for flexible work. Before I headed in, I logged into stocks to key in 2-3 sell orders. Then when market opened, one went through. The Irritating part is that I am selling now after the market has already turned, so the gains are lower than what it could have been. About halved. But the consolation is that I still make gains, halved but still income for me, compared to current inflow. So I take consolation in that. By the time, I reached office, 2nd order executed. I count myself lucky that I had sold in the morning cos prices stayed lower than what I had keyed in for the entire day. So recover capital to wait for more drops. I still have my CapMall, CapMall Asia, Capland. My Kland is a loss. My cpf counters are still there cos those counters, some didnt fall as much, some are not as affected, even those affected, little bit of gains after the gains vapourized does not justify me selling cos few lots. Care more about my cash portfolio cos more money due to more lots.

So a painful lesson about monitoring for turns instead of waiting for secondary indicators to confirm it, cos by then market already turned down and part of the gains have vapourised.

Actually I feel better today. Cos of good, deep sleep. I woke up almost forgetting why I had set my alarm. Except tio some food poisoning aka stomache and gastric from poisionous roti prata if not is the coffee. The sale of the stocks to realise actual profits helped perk me up too. Nevermind about feelings of regret, if 早知道就没有乞丐 and everyone is millionaire already. So just move on. I can sulk over it but I limit myself to a couple of days and move on. I am sure there will be other opportunities to buy back and sell again. Just have to be patient and refrain.

1 comment:

JLTan said...

Not so good with job interviews, but not too bad with stock market profits. I think it balances out okay for you.

In this life, anyway. May God bless you as you also think about your longer-term future.