It's back to work since last Thur. So far I still haven't restarted gym yet. Have to devise a way to bring all my gym stuff with me to work in a not-so-cumbersome manner. Cos got to bring shoes and that is bulky. Hmm...
Trying to get back to the motions. Can wake up on time but sleeping time is still later than normal. Need to adjust quickly cos actual lessons start this Fri. I am not so focused still, trying to get back into the groove. For now I thought of a few ws or how to conduct the first few lessons, dug out my resources, haven't made some newly planned ws nor mass-printed the ws needed. Will do that tomorrow.
Feeling wise, I am tired, not physically but mentally. Cos there's so much time taken up by things like home-room, ad-hoc duties and just standing around, it makes me tired from being on alert state or trying to focus on something. I think gradually I will regain the stamina and skill for these. Next few days are more of such. Going out for a trip with students, pe tests and cca.
So far this year has been much kind to me. Hope it will also be so for my lessons and students. I should go to the temple near my workplace to pray for a smooth and safe-sailing new academic year. So far, I've gotten a pay increment that is more decent (though it might be once-off), when my seat in the staffroom is changed, I got a better table with more space than before, only one neighbor sitting beside me, she's on good terms with me, and even today, I found my request to be in my preferred cca is successful. So I am out of the previous cca (though a bit sorry for students who lose all 3 cca teachers cos 2 went back) BUT it's good for me. I can strum some guitar during cca time, practice the songs I learnt but didn't have time, motivation to revise and hopefully find the inspiration to pick up the guitar again. I really didn't touch the guitar since I left the music school. I did play the ukelele once.
Thereafter it was mainly comics, anime, exercise and diet-monitoring and other stuff like more of trying to read the stock books (tough cos in Chinese and I can't retain and can't seem to ever finish reading, keep re-reading the same part) All these stopped also once holiday set in.
Will have to find the drive to start again. This hol I did rest well, ate well. Was feeling rested but something else bothers me. It's the feeling of "having an old spirit". Lemme explain- this is not about being dog-tired and depressed or overworked or late nights. It's about suddenly the drive to do or learn something for me is void or became neutral. Also a feeling of "oldness" that is not physical (though my neck crackles), not mental (cos I didn't worry myself with work stuff, just focus on resting) but more of just like the spirit became old. I used to have an even older spirit in my pri n sec days. Like I was old beyond my age. In fact, I felt like I had the spirit of a 50 year-old. Then from JC onwards, a sort of de-aging occurred and the spirit slowly matched my age. In fact, at times I felt a younger spirit than my actual age. Up until this March. Thereafter, suddenly the sands of time seem to break through and my spirit 'aged' drastically until it's much older. Not yet in the 50s but feeling like a late 30s. This can explain why partly not easy to pick up the gym or learning efforts. The youthful drive to learn is suddenly not there... Hope I will revert the aging again to have a youthful spirit once again.
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