Sunday, November 25, 2012

Clark Kent disguise

... this year, specifically after the time I tried to wear contact lens and V-neck plain Ts, on days I have Krav Maga.I noticed I am getting stared at by students especially.

I don't think I am imagining things... Cos I know the difference between a look, a longer glance and a stare. Don't think I am that egoistic to boast about my looks...

Well when the usual is polo-Ts n 3/4 worn khakis and spectacles everyday, it's really HARD to miss the sudden departure...

Plus I had students asking what happened to my spectacles when I wore first wore contacts then the next day when I wore glasses back, asked me why I wear glasses...

Think the change in looks from be-spectacled to contacts made some realize I am different. I noticed some of my own students became closer and more comfortable with me. Or that might be attributed to my interesting style of lessons? Or is just more familiarity over time? No hanky-panky, just they seem more comfortable.

Actually don't think it's a big deal but just cos I never dress formally with contacts, so it's kinda refreshing and surprising. Everytime I wear contacts, some female colleagues would remark I look good. One office staff didn't realize it was me until she took a second look when she saw me in the toilet once.

Seriously I've never realized that Clark Kent aka SuperMan's glasses disguise is so effective...

Last Friday, I wore this very nice-fitting black striped formal long-sleeved shirt with lady's work pants plus black sport shoes, carried my new Lacoste bag to work cos,

firstly there was individual photo-taking for the annual year book. I used the same photo taken 2 years ago n it kinda wasn't as nice a pic, plus I had lost weight, so wanna take an updated photo, though I was sceptic whether I could smile at all so early in the morning. I wasn't hoping for any better pic to be honest, just do it to change the pic they have been using of me for the past 2 years.

Plus I had to meet up with JC friends for dinner after work. So I had 2 choices; wear work clothes, bring formal clothes for photo-taking, and going-out clothes to change into or just wear the same formal clothes through the whole day. Opted for the latter. Brought make-up to cover a couple of pimples and just to make the face uniformly one-tone.

Well it's really one of my first time wearing formal clothes with contacts for an entire day with lessons, with slightly styled neater hair. I had worn for the opening and closing ceremony before. Just not for such a long duration plus not so nicely fitting. Loose jacket etc, plus plumper then.

When I got off the bus and was waiting to cross the traffic crossing, a bus zoomed past and I saw a male student of mine who had his eyes wide open along with his mouth on it. Just ignored and crossed and walked in. No colleagues mentioned anything when they saw me, except the office clerks. One said I look even slimmer in all-black. Another told me she prefers me with contacts.

When I went to my form class to do the usual jaguaring, one girl was lying on the table, dozing. Obligatorily, I had to shake her awake cos not meant to do so. She looked up, saw me and took a double-take. Think I have been too stern with my form class, no one asked. I just continue as usual.

The bell rang and I went down. Went to the toilet to apply the skin tinted oxy liquid in hopes it can cover my blemishes so that I won't have to do make-up. Am always a minimalist but it couldn't cover my couple of pimples so using that as a base, applied a thin layer of foundation to smooth out the skin. It worked. Put on lip gloss. Decided to skip blush n lipstick cos I just want my blemishes covered for the pic. Not to do the full thing for what? Plus I had 3 lessons instead of the usual 2.

The photo took a mere 1 min, think it was ok, not the best pic I could have in the morning. I just am not natural posing in-front of the camera. The smile won't reach the eyes. But glad for a change of pic.

Kept the make-up on cos shortly after was my 1st lesson of the day. Went to my room and carried a box of dictionaries. I wasn't the lead teacher, just assisting during the lesson. I was early so I sat outside the class on a bench. Didn't feel like going in so early to stare at them, they look at you until time is up. So while seated outside, got stared at... I could see like some girls walking normally, saw me, did a double take and started staring, boys noticed the difference too. Smiled and waved at a few then headed inside.

Once I was inside, a group of my male students came up and asked me why I wore black. I told them of the photo-taking n dinner plans. One (same guy with the open mouth earlier) thought I was cos-playing... Wow that really is such a big difference huh? It's a nice form-fitting black-striped formal shirt, I must admit. Love the collar n sleeves.

Then we started. While the lead was talking, I was infront, at the side, I tend to look in that direction to cue others to look, I heard one of my female student say that I look cool. Guess she was looking at my side profile while I was looking ahead. Didn't want to look back in that direction, don't wanna break the focus. Later when the writing began, I walked around to assist anyone who needed help. She raised her hand and when I walked over. First thing she said was "Teacher, u look really cool today", which my reply was a "Thank you" with a smile and asked if she needed help, which she didn't. Really I went around and around, asking my own students if they needed help, hardly needed. It was a good class unlike my form so really I had little to do but walked round with minor help here and there. One more chatty female student did ask for me to proof-read and help cos she didn't bring her file so some info wasn't available. Gave her some ideas to work on. I did say later that nobody needed my help so I felt tired walking around, she jokingly said I could go to my room to take a nap. Well if only I could. That lesson felt so long cos I had little to occupy me. But progress was great.

Ended and I carried the box of dictionaries back to my room, saw a student of mine, whose class I won't be seeing that day, she looked at me with a frown like concentrating. I just walk past and headed downstairs.

Downstairs I felt my face getting oily, blotted and later wiped off the make-up with wet tissue. Applied moisturizer instead. Checked books and files and listened to music. An hour later, another class, this time solo. But it was returning of exam papers so I was really serious cos two didn't do well. Nobody said anything to me not ask me why I dressed so but u can see they noticed. But exam paper was more important. After all the chalk dust, I had to use a wet tissue to wipe off the dust from my black outfit.

My last class was the last lesson of the day, stoned and listen music, read news, think of ideas, prepare. My own form class but they had seen me first thing in the morning so no surprise. Still nobody asked. So my policy is don't ask, don't say.

But during the going-home short time, I had to shout at a bunch who were delaying everyone by not being seated. Obviously my weak n inexperienced main is not able to settle them. Sian! Have to wear nice n still shout. Only this year I have to raise my voice so much... Plus roll eyes, look at the blue skies, and sigh

There was a heavy downpour just before dismissal. I change out of my sports goes n socks into sandals. Took my big umbrella and walked to the bus I was in-charged of. Two of my form female students saw me. I looked at them, they seem to want to brave the rain and run. Asked them where was their bus. It was on the other end where I was heading but I decided to ferry them cos my umbrella was huge enough. I did get my left sleeve n legs of the pants wet cos I shielded them more. Walked over, and they were discussing in jap how kind I was. Another of my student passed behind us, saw us and said "Teacher u r Ikkenmen", which I replied "Wrong term to use..." Thanked by he girls when I reached their bus then walked to the other end. By the time I walked to the other end, the other colleague settled so I didn't have to check the bus. Waved and headed back.

Had dept meeting and had to stay on and discuss some stuff. After discussion, another two female colleagues remarked I look good.

(Man after all these, it just make me think, what's the use of being cool if that attract female attention, am not lesbian. Plus if keep saying I look good now, meant I looked crappy on usual days? Also if wear everyday also is no impact cos it will become the norm) so I still keep to more important days plus Krav Maga days. Also feel my days of coolness is numbered as I age. Obvious lines on my face though not too deep yet plus how much longer can keep this up? True I am as slim as my Uni days but age is catching up. Haven't decided on any new look... Sigh... Wanna be young forever but the age does catch up both to the body and to the soul.

Later on walked over to the Mall and met up with my JC friends. First thing one said when she arrived was to tell me to stand up cos I was early and seated at the table. She wanted to see how slim I had become, cos she's in my FB so she knew of my weight loss. When she saw my waist, she was like "wow ur waist is 26 inches?!?" I told her no lah... She was keen to know how I lost the weight partly for herself but mainly for her husband whose weight ballooned. One of the married male friend also ballooned after marriage. i shared with them my attempts at both extremes of the Exercise vs Dietary Control spectrum. in the end, introd both to the IDAT app I used to track my daily calories. We had many interesting topics and threads of discussion. Ended about 9.30pm. Glad it's near to home for a change, reached home and bathed.

Next day Turkey tutorial, slept a bit earlier. This has been a crazy week...

Friday, November 23, 2012

So tired until cant sleep?

Mon - Went for Krav Maga then second dinner with Tab, lights-out shortly.

Tue - mark exam papers from 11am until 6.30pm. After dinner, lights-out.

Wed - return papers, go thru answers n coca resumed. After dinner, lights-out.

Thur - return paper, go thru answers, resume lessons n cca. After dinner, I almost lights-out but was thinking of exercising so I kept awake but ended up deciding not to do a workout, now still wide awake at 1.10am in the morning Wat De Fark???

Fri - return papers, go thru answers, resume lesson and photo-taking... Wearing formal clothes is such a hassle. Cos meeting up with JC friends so not changing out, just wear it throughout, otherwise gotta bring 2-3 sets of clothes... Too much hassle. Glad the weekend is finally coming but I gotta work this Sunday, with Mon off in-lieu...

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Shopping still... The usual grouse

Bought 2 long-sleeved v-neck tops on Tuesday and just bought a new hat/cap last night. Surprised to find that that cap fitted my big head n matched me. Only $21.90, so buy. Black is easy to match. Usually it's hard for me to find something to wear on my head.

The shopping list is still long. Will KIV for things in it, especially with a sale. Somewhat like a wardrobe change of sort.

Bruises much fainter but still there. Will try to massage them away.

Still woken up by my stomach at the ungodly time of 7am to go to the toilet though it's the weekends... Sian. Went out to eat breakfast; my usual kopi-o n Lor Bee Hoon.

My severe over-calories are still severe. Think over 100% surplus!!! Have to make sure I don't pile up the calories surplus this weekend. Try to have small deficits and cancel them away. Also that meant this weekend, I would have to do at least 1-2 conditioning work-outs (My usual conditioning and KettleBell workout) to the music of Maroon 5. I should burn new music cd soon as the songs though nice are getting a bit boring. Now waiting for the 2hrs after food before I can work-out. Dare not step on the weighing scale with this much over-calories on the table. After I have cancelled them out, then I'll weigh myself again.

Trying to get enough rest cos the break is nowhere in sight yet. Up-keeping the fitness n energy n health level to last another 6-7 weeks without anymore public holidays, without falling sick, too and with no toll on my health n body in general. Some sort of equilibrium state.

Not sure if I'll be heading out this weekend. On one hand I feel the weather is good, can go out but I feel the fatigue from waking too early... Sleep, exercise, hibernate at home seems to be a great choice.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Bruises still there...

Despite Tab rubbing my bruises on Sat, I ended up with 3 more bruises appearing on my right forearm.

On Tues, we met up with Krynnder n ZX, together with Candle for an early bdae lunch of sort for Krynnder. Think everyone noticed the obvious bruises. It's like u could put 5 fingers on each and looked like a large hand had gripped my forearm...

After eating a sumptuous lunch of Fish & Co, we left them and had dessert n tea at Canele. The cheesecake is fabulous. Later followed by Soupspoon dinner. Obviously I had extremely severe over-calories. Plus my appetite is returning to normal levels courtesy of the Chinese TCM meds I have been eating, I think I would have to take a week or so of daily calories deficit to balance off the calories....

So have to really try to eat simply before the weekends arrive. Also slot in another workout, went for Krav Maga already. So that's one workout. One more for this week's quota.

The bruises are much less painful but very obvious against my lighter-color skin... So much so when I went back to work, more colleagues and students noticed. But when I answered 'Krav Maga,' blank looks, some colleagues gave me a 'why did u do that' look? Like I am going to explain my reasons. I just massaged them.

Today still there but fainter.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Almost short of a wardrobe make-over

One thing about being able to defer wants especially meant I don't shop as frequent. Yes I do spend money on food, good meals, sundries like milk, tea, bills, transport but my shopping is rather low most of the months. The pent-up wants n needs do manifest once a while. And when it does, the list is long indeed.

Tab and I went to the AFA in expo on Sat. Ate at SoupSpoon cos my stomach was giving me troubles. We took the train there, and while standing, started looking at our bruised forearms and rubbing them with a cream I brought along.

My bruises hurt more despite them being fainter. As I had told Tab, that entire area was very sore though only two small bruises appear. She had happily rubbed them for me which resulted in me yelping out in pain... Think the other passengers think we are crazy pple.

There was another "WilderBeast" migration with everyone moving in one direction. The ticketing queue was very long but fast moving. We chatted and looked on as the queue moved. I am sad to say there are some pretty female cosplayers but zilch handsome cosplayers. What a bummer! Though quite a bunch of Otaku photographers who fit completely into the stereotype of the word 'Otaku'. I was really trying not to stereotype them but when we saw some of them plus those who attended, it was the "OHhhhhh *agony* taku!!!" *puke blood*

We didn't buy anything, got a free fan and a free cup of Nescafe coffee. Then Tab's shoes died so we had a shopping emergency. We walked out and over to the ChangiCityPoint and into a shoe shop. I ended up with 2 pairs of blue & turquoise sneakers in my size, a 10!!! And new sets of ankle socks. (I had needed more socks and a pair of shoes for some time)

Then we headed to the top floor. With the intention to walk down from the top. There were outlet shops of various brands there. I ended up with a new formal long-sleeved shirt from G2000, a new cushy white-military flip-flops and a brand new Lacoste bag that is more structured, had width and the size I was looking for. Out-shopped Tab easily. Man arms are heavy from lifting those bags around.

FYI I still had quite a number of stuff to buy eg Sleeveless v-neck Ts, sleeveless exercise tops, 3/4 khakis for work, 3/4 exercise bottom, a new pair of sports shoes, a long-sleeved T or two, a few more nicer, fitting T-shirts, new pair of jeans, belts, box of contacts, and a new umbrella. Not all of them are wants, quite a few are needs. Just that I don't go out on shopping bouts during the weekend or even weekdays when I am out. Kinda build up after a while. This month's expenditure is higher cos of them but no deficit, just reduced savings.

On the train ride back, is another rubbing of the bruises and yelping out in pain.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Happening Friday, eventful

Another Fri where I headed for Krav Maga, this time dragging Tab along. Quet was going out of town. So since both of us only, not that difficult to go for KM.

We hung around the usual, this time I drank Yuan Yang, it's too strong and powerful that I felt hyper instead of fatigue. Think tonight is going to be another late one. We joked and sat at one of the store display, cos that unit was unoccupied so it was vacant. All the bad jokes abt skyfall n posing as mannequins.

We reached there in time for the warm-up to Tab's dismay. But it wasn't too crazy. Then the instructor asked what we wanna learn, some wanted the stick choke, I suggested 360 defense, lower one cos last time only cover the top 180...

Ouch... I had forgotten about the pain from last time. Let's just say we both got bruises from it. But it's interesting and different from the top 180 defense. Think I need to work on coordinating the movements more fluidly. Shadow-workout.

Unexpectedly Tab n DF jio me to watch SkyFall together. Well if I wasn't a bright light-bulb, then it's fine. We were late from packing food n also finding the way around but magically we arrived n sat down, just in time for almost 10 mins of commercials. Nice, by then I had eaten my Korean Ginseng Fried Chicken, twice the price of KFC, in the car. We even had time to go toilet.

SkyFall is really action-packed. I think Craig Daniel wears very nice suits in the film. Nice body, lean n fit, like the Adele song at the starting credits a lot. Really didn't feel like a 2.5hrs movie. It's been a while since my last movie, Avengers. Nice to spend a Fri night this way.

Though after I got home, bathed n slapped on muscle cream especially on the sore forearms n massaged them. Hope to sleep soon despite of the Yuan Yang coffee tea.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

The year is zooming past n 1st target

The year is kinda zooming past fast. Plus I work in a place where the academic year starts in April - March, so the sense of time is even more distorted. I would look and realize that while the Term 2 is still far from over, by the time it does, the year is over. My sense of time is really distorted at times.

In that sense, time passes both quickly and yet slowly... Slowly every day until the weekend, then quickly over the weekend and yet weeks n months passed by rather quickly.

It kinda dawned on me that I have been with the class of this year for almost 7.5 mths already. Just another 4.5 mths then they are promoted. Then the cycle repeats another round...

I do want time to slow down a bit more especially when more candles are added to my bdae. Not long ago, I was a student, then Uni then started working. I am still kinda like what l was then, save for less naive, but still feel and think like that... But I've learnt to be more forgiving of my own mistakes n flaws. Want to have a simpler life, take joys from the simpler things in life.

So far this year of no extra assignment income is fruitful. I go for Krav Maga once a week, weekly sinseh follow-up, then the rest, I could rest on days I was mentally exhausted, also do about 1-2 own conditioning workout a few hours after dinner. Even find the inspiration from cca to pick up the guitar and practice. Some days lie on the floor, reading storybooks.

So investment income-wise, took me up til now to reach the 1st investment target of reaching $5k n over. Missed 2 oppts due to listening to Dad, sold too early. Have to learn not to listen. The extra is welcomed especially due to reduced pay, bonus and now extra $300 monthly. Really tight cos I am trying to maintain the same level of personal saving but it's not really do-able. The first month of Oct, overshot my budget... Really no leeway extra to play with... Hope for pay raise n more investment gains.

Maybe this year won't hit 2nd target, as long as I get it in my pocket, whichever "accounting year", I don't really care.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Achieved 10kg weight loss in 14 months

I was pleasantly happy that this week, when I stood on the weighing scales, I've dropped 10kg from my 'Pig of my life' all time weight last Aug. It sure took me a long time, 14months to do so but I'm glad I hung on and did it.

The plus points include fitting into my M-sized Tshirts very comfortably and looking good too, looking younger too. More bursts of energy due to the better fitness level but stamina is still not that great, feel lighter on my feet, lesser knee pain from stairs and feel positive.

On the other hand, the jeans n pants becoming loose, actually this is not so good cos I had gone through a wardrobe change the last time I gained weight so now bottoms are getting loose. Might need a change again. With my decrease in spending $$$ meant I would look for a piece at a time...

Actually I took a much longer time to do this... My sis did it in 6 mths, cos she could eat the same food eg Fish soup bee hoon for lunch every day. I can't, even now after gaining the ability to make dietary changes, I still need variety n not the same stuff daily.

How did I do this?

I think firstly is the mind;

1) acknowledging that firstly I was responsible for my own weight gain cos I decided upon what I put into my mouth. So I have to be the ONE to decide to take control over what I eat. I have to be the one to monitor n make conscious choices and decisions about the stuff I eat. Not just for a meal but at every single meal time. For the longer term view of health, I need to make better food decisions for my own health's sake.

2) A realistic expectation that while it would be great to be able to magically lose the weight overnight with no pain of diet n exercise, it's not realistic nor do-able. I told myself repeatedly since I put on the weight over a period of time say 2 years, realistically speaking, it would take about the same duration of time to lose it. If it could happen faster, great but if not, that's the span of time I have to keep things up.

With these, I set upon the start. So I started counting calories, weighing myself regularly, exercising at least twice a week. It was a learning process along the way, had trials and errors n refined certain ways etc

In the first 5 months, I had little success in terms of weight loss. Just a mere 2kg, hardly a dent. Plus obviously still rounded. The reasons were that I tried different combination of the diet-exercise mix.

Firstly I went with my normal eating (no control of the calories) but just keeping track of what I ate using the HPB app plus do gym 2-3 times in a week. I stabilized my weight from the "Pig of my life", it went down a little...

So I had to switch a bit more to a bit more control over what I ate, but wasn't well so one period of time, I had little or no exercise. That didn't work for me cos though my weight wasn't rising, it wasn't falling n I felt more flabby n had less energy...

Then I came to the decision, it had to be at both sides; a mix of diet-control & exercise. Since I already had my conclusion from trying the extreme of both spectrums, so it's time to move onto that.

Some little strategies I developed was to slowly wean out the unhealthier options and habits. Understand that it took me quite a while to wean them out slowly n gradually over time.

To illustrate, I used to drink Coke Zero 1-2 cans a day at work, it was to replace the soft drinks. But later I came to drink it too often. Plus studies have shown that it's not good for the body n diet due to the 'empty sugars' causing the brain to want to consume more food. So I consciously limit myself to just 1 can a day. I don't pop open the Coke Zero until I finally really needed to drink it, and not cos I drank it from boredom. So that worked. I could achieve one per day. Then next step was to not drink it on the weekends at all. Again once I could do that, I moved onto drinking a can every 2 days... And increased until just a can a week. Of course I replaced it with unsugared tea n plain water. Took me a long while gradually to make this change. By now, drinking a soft drink or diet soft drink is optional for me. I can make do with plain water or unsugared tea. No issues. This is especially helpful to the diet because without any sweet drinks in my diet, I am completely eliminating extra calories consumed by drinking. One spoiler of diets is the amount of calories consumed by drinking, especially for sweetened drinks.

That's one example of the 'Life-Style Changes', I slowly made over this long period of time. It's a lifestyle change because by doing that I am changing the eating habits completely n won't go back to it cos my tastes has changed.

Other examples include

Snacking Habits - replace with Jap snacks that had portion-control and fresh fruits like an apple, a pear, grapes, watermelon, n a couple of bananas.

Breakfast - eating one no matter how much my stomach cannot take it. Even if it's just some coffee, biscuits, a slice of bread, force it down n make it a habit gradually. It helps to keep my energy for morning classes.

Lunch - as I had developed the habit of recording what I ate for my meals, gradually it dawned on me how much unhealthy high calories food I bought to eat for lunch and quite frequently, eg Malay Nasi Padang, Bryani was delicious but after keying into the HPB app, I saw how much calories I was eating, I consciously weaned myself off it and ate stuff like Char Siew Rice which was lower and gradually moved down to plainer stuff, eg soup, porridge, ZCP n milder tasting food. This took me a while also but now I am able to decide what food I should eat to balance off the calories for the day. Say I had a Bryani for lunch, dinner has to be lighter. Overall keep my daily calories balanced, daily.

In the event that I over-eat while I still do, I have to be conscious and try to aim for deficits over the next few days to 'off-set' the surplus. It takes some practice but once I could do it, even the occasional Big over indulgence, I didn't put on weight.

Exercise - I keep to the 'No more than 7 days between each workput' rule. Research has shown and I have tried this many many times, is that to build up any routine, one has to do it for 3 weeks with max 7-days duration in-between. Once you break the 7-days duration, the routine falls apart and you have to spend another 3 weeks to rebuild it. Hence for me, once the routine is built-up, I refuse to break it. I rather pia that one day and force myself with just a bit more to do the workout and get it over and done with, then to have the consequence of breaking the routine entirely and having to spend another 3 weeks 'forcing myself' to build up the routine. It's much less painful actually.

With all these methods slowly over time, from Jan, my weight started falling more than previously. Started gradually then more and more. I was looking at my pics in January, compared to now the difference is very noticeable. On the other hand, I didn't really notice until recently. Reason being it was a gradual process. Life went on as usual, with the work taking lots of time but I reminded myself I am doing this for myself, so just keep it up consciously despite the challenges and fatigue.

Slowly one thing I noticed was my work pants became fitting, then gradually looser and now very loose. The belts I use, it used to be tight at my usual buckle then fitting and now I could pull an extra hole in and if I really try, a second extra hole, recently.

I wasn't staring at my face daily or whatever but I noticed my arms becoming more toned and my stomach flattening out. Only when some of the local staff eg security, office clerks noticed and pointed out that I seemed to have lost some weight, then I noticed it more.

Suddenly some fellow other colleagues seem to notice my weight-loss and asked me if I had lost weight. My reply was, "yes 9kg so far, took me 14 months", I could see the surprise on their faces. I think 1) 9kg is a lot, 2) 14 months is a long time, my persistence in keeping up with it.

I feel it's because I am doing this for the longer term health in mind, my motivation n persistence n patience are greater. I am also taking control of one aspect of my life n not letting others dictate it. Since I was the one who let myself go downwards, I'll have to be the one to take responsibility n action to rectify it. It's a learning process, lots of trial n error, tweaking the methods.

Now I am close to or already at my Uni weight. I won't lose the discipline and just let myself go anytime soon. I am still aiming for another 5kg to put me nearer to the ideal weight zone. To reduce the BMI to 22, body fat to 25% much healthier range. Now is still at borderline though acceptable weight. After all these, I wont let myself go so easily. After all the effort plus lifestyle changes, I want this to be permanent.