Lost my earlier post cos accidentally deleted it while using my Samsung to type. Not so used to a bigger screen and the operations yet.
This week was so hectic that I felt really burnt out. Besides lessons which are still many after the exams already... cleaning and daily homeroom which also takes a lot out of me. Then there's the grade processing which I keyed in. Then have to check if colleagues agreed with the grade given cos they manually change the grades to reflect things like attitude n daily work. I kept having to check and recheck the lists to see if the excel formula screwed up. Imagine doing that finally on Thur, after work, after cca, after the band practice, I almost died... Had to OT until 6.30pm.
Plus my bodyclock is breaking down somewhat. Woke up at 4-5am in the morning wide awake. Had to struggle to go back to sleep. Sian.
The accumulated fatigue was obvious on Friday. Some students noticed it too. Out of the 4 periods before the event, I had lessons for 3. The free period, I had to eye-ball the grades again, check students journal and steal some time to practice the guitar as warm-up. I still can't play at the drop of the hat. Need to warm up.
Then during the lunchtime, I went to change into the clothes. Uniform was black bottom, white tops. Due to recent wardrobe change and spring cleaning, I only have 3 white tops; the v-neck t, the sleeveless round-neck t and the white jacket from Tab's wedding.
Decided to pair up the round neck and the jacket. I added the pair of aces earrings. Just combed my hair until the ears are more visible and can see the earrings hanging. Black fitting khakis. No makeup, no gel, just tinted pimple cream and oxy tint to cover my pimples. Normal black sport shoes. I intended to wear that for the Farewell party after. I put the wardrobe together by Tuesday. I tried it and think it looked decent, instead of just black bottom, white top, look like funeral cos all non-vocals are wearing that. That's why I added the jacket though it would be hot. Tried to work around the heat with the sleeveless inside. Nothing really special but just a HUGE departure from what I usually wear at work...
I wore the bottom, glasses and a black tshirt for lesson. After changing, was contact lens, white t n jacket, dangling earrings and combed hair. A departure from the usual again. Plus due to weight loss, the jacket hung loosely but the tank was fitting. I don't wear like this cos of the SG weather and only special occasions then take so much care and effort. It's meant on my part for my graduating students, leaving colleagues and also current students whom I won't be following up and leaving current students. A sort of memorable thing I guess.
Without eating lunch, I waited in the staff room. Those colleagues who saw me immediately tell me I looked cool. Man, really... Sat down at my table and stoned a bit while the rest headed to the hall to assemble. Later near the starting time, I headed up. I stood at the back of the rows and those who saw me were surprised that I've changed my outfit. We don't tell students who's performing. It's meant as a surprise.
The event was a farewell for the graduating level, put up by the students. So u have the art, band, instrument, dance cca performing. Also those who want to volunteer an item such as that light stick dance for the Nth time and a very impressive Jap calligraphy with music by a group of girls. Lastly was the teacher's item. Then videos of the Sec 3 and video messages from the teachers who left.
Man I couldn't enjoy it as much as I did the past years cos I was super hot. Frantically fanning myself and trying to focus on the chords cos I memorized it. Composed myself cos it would be my first time performing infront of a crowd, with a band. Don't wanna screw up. The heat in the hall made it difficult to focus.
Finally it was our turn. The curtains opened and we walked onstage with some cheers. 2 female vocalist, a male guitar lead, a male drummer, a female keyboardist n me, rhythm guitarist. The song is 'Sakura' by Ikimono gakari. A slower song (challenging for me cos I tend to play fast but managed)
Prior to joining the music club this year, I could only play the guitar sitting down cos that's how we play it during lessons. This year as I had to teach a group, I practiced at home and could play somewhat standing, for both acoustic and electric. This time cos of the performance, I practiced really hard to somewhat play better while standing. Still my acoustic is better than electric. I guessed correctly that we would be standing and using electric guitars so I practiced more with the electric at home. I also practiced looking at the audience cos a common amateur 'mistake' I saw was that the guitarist stays rock-still, eyes on the frets only.
I haven't seen the video or whatever yet but based on my end. I didn't forget the chords but my Bm sounds a bit off at times. But I could do the different strumming patterns, look at the audience sometimes and also the fretboards. Everyone did a great job, we got loud applause. Later FW (one of the vocalist) was telling me, her students told her they really liked our band.
Helped to keep the stuff to one side and then there was a breaktime. I thought it was the end and stayed downstairs, drank 2 packs of milk cos no lunch and water. Later I headed up, it was still hot but I couldn't take off my jacket without later getting remarks about my muscles... But all the sweating added to the drain.
Watched the videos. Then after its over, went down and stayed down until it was time for dismissal. I contemplated whether to change out or not. But given I woul be wearing the same thing, jus wear it lah, like a local. Where got keep changing clothes here and there one? That's a Jap thingy. Not surprisingly, back to class, got cool comments, stares. Man, I was too tried to care. Just stand at one side and stoned.
Then as I walked down the stairs. Encountered that group of cheeky boys. This time besides the 'Good afternoon Boss' and blocking my way, got a 'Guitar, very cool'. One of the female jap colleagues actually was right beside me when that cheeky boy blocked my way again for the Nth time, but she watched on and laugh in amusement. I said 'jama surunna'. Her student but she didn't stop him. So again I gotta move L-R-L-R before I was let through... Never mind, it was done in a cute way not a mean way. Let me not taint their innocence.
Finished bus duty and stoned at my seat. Waited to share a cab with 2 other colleagues n helped picked up the bouquets of flowers. We headed off to the place. Me being the only non-Jap was there while the rest moved the tables and stuff. I just stoned.
The Jedi-master sat right beside me and I 'gotta' entertain him by talking to him and listening 'intently' the whole night. Glad it was over. I like the food, tasted much better than the Zha Cai Peng, supposedly is finger food but the selection was good such as Pan fried lamb with tomato, grilled beef skewers... I know cos I chose those. Didn't take pics, just ate the food, and drank 2 beers then listen n converse with mainly the Jedi-master. (I still don't like him as much but I don't want to have more enemies, no guarantee my pay would increase a lot if I was nicer to him, but its been a long week, so I just tried to be smiley and nice. This being-nice to him won't change my perspective until I see something concrete otherwise. It's just being sociable)
Later the nurse colleague forgot her keys in the taxi. The taxi wanted to charge her for delivering the keys down cos it was in Katong, we were in town. After it ping-pong between the nurse, Jedi, he pointed at me and I had to talk to the cab driver. Basically he would not charge us after the to-and-fro exchange, we would head to the drop-off point. I followed along and they paid the cab driver $10 for the trouble. Jedi offered the sch car to send me back, I declined saying the mrt is right beside us. The nurse thanked me profusely and headed for the second party, she'll be leaving. Kinda sad the colleagues who came in at the same time as I did are all returning. The great Aussie colleague is leaving too. Next would have students leaving.
All these leaving does make one kinda sad cos of the attachment to them. It's proof I do have feelings and am human. Quite demoralizing and also to avoid the hurt, rather not get to know them well but that also meant a rather cold workplace. It's a dilemma I still struggle with.
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