Today I cancelled assignment. Not feeling well. Light headed and a forming headache towards the end of the day. Weather-related plus tired. But have cca so was contemplating leaving earlier but it turned out to be a meeting of sort, so I just stone and sit in a chair at the back. Felt better by the end of the day. Went off straight on the dot. Dont care.
Going to grab some much needed sleep. But just after dinner so cant sleep immediately. 1 more day to the end of the week. Hols then until next Thur. Then the whole thing will repeat itself for many more weeks to come.... Argh
Weight loss is slowing down. Back at the "Pig of my life" weight and so far still there. Checking the HPB app, my calorie deficit is kinda low, 200-300 calories. That means to lose 1kg, I would need about 12-18 days. So unless is keep at it through diet and exercising more, to increase the calorie deficit, it would be slow... Argh I only just dragged myself to gym yesterday.
I am determined to get back to Uni weight. That still at least 6-6.5kg more to go. Half year duration. Keep at it. Need to re-organise my exercise days due to very hectic work days on Mon and Tue. Need to put 2 days at least.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Getting more stamina...
The good news is that there would be a longer break from this sat until next thur due to the Labor Day and followed by the 3 days of the Golden Week hols. So that meant have something to look forward to as long as it's this Friday soon.
After 2 days of intensive plus hectic timetable, the rest of the week seems less packed with lessons. Can slow down a bit n relax. Also wanna use the time to plan the lessons so that I don't and won't have to come back at all during the hols cos all printed nicely n prepared. Make my own life easier.
Surprisingly now I am still awake despite a hectic day, assignment. Maybe due to the 2 coffees n 1 coke zero I drank. Too much caffeine in the system? Going to sleep after this post. Just need a bit more stamina to make myself go for gym. Missed last week n this week, I've skipped my usual Mon gym day so far. Too stoned. Think tomorrow, I will try to get started. Maybe change gym days to Wed n Fri instead. Mon timetable is too siong plus too ultra-zombified.
Assignment is back to purely Pri level hence my total amt received reduced also. It's easier for me to focus on one plus the other was too busy with sec work. Still easier money than my work bu still is the travelling n effort. See how when this one ends around Oct.
Share market is still not moving much. Wait n see if post-election, prices would rise. A.k.a the Election Effect. Now is wait and wait, get some dividends. Don't spend the dividends, re-invest them. Build up personal buffer as much as I can. My assignment income n 1 mth bonus can cover my insurance premiums. No more other insurance, adequate coverage. Sadly my life is still worth more dead than alive.
In the meantime, I am buying my weekly dose of 'Hope' in toto. Stopped 4D long time back. Hope to tio the 'Curse of the lottery winners'. Can definitely live happier more relaxed than now. And also 用人赚钱, during this period of time.
After 2 days of intensive plus hectic timetable, the rest of the week seems less packed with lessons. Can slow down a bit n relax. Also wanna use the time to plan the lessons so that I don't and won't have to come back at all during the hols cos all printed nicely n prepared. Make my own life easier.
Surprisingly now I am still awake despite a hectic day, assignment. Maybe due to the 2 coffees n 1 coke zero I drank. Too much caffeine in the system? Going to sleep after this post. Just need a bit more stamina to make myself go for gym. Missed last week n this week, I've skipped my usual Mon gym day so far. Too stoned. Think tomorrow, I will try to get started. Maybe change gym days to Wed n Fri instead. Mon timetable is too siong plus too ultra-zombified.
Assignment is back to purely Pri level hence my total amt received reduced also. It's easier for me to focus on one plus the other was too busy with sec work. Still easier money than my work bu still is the travelling n effort. See how when this one ends around Oct.
Share market is still not moving much. Wait n see if post-election, prices would rise. A.k.a the Election Effect. Now is wait and wait, get some dividends. Don't spend the dividends, re-invest them. Build up personal buffer as much as I can. My assignment income n 1 mth bonus can cover my insurance premiums. No more other insurance, adequate coverage. Sadly my life is still worth more dead than alive.
In the meantime, I am buying my weekly dose of 'Hope' in toto. Stopped 4D long time back. Hope to tio the 'Curse of the lottery winners'. Can definitely live happier more relaxed than now. And also 用人赚钱, during this period of time.
Monday, April 25, 2011
"Erm erm" at the Night Safari
It's kinda of a funny 'misadventure' in the whole Night Safari thing.
My sis got the staff letter from her boss to get 4 admitted into the Night Safari. But there's a catch, the staff must be there and produce the staff card. So her boss loaned her the card. BUT looking at the pic, none of us look like that. Maybe my mom but in the end she didnt want to go.
So is left with me or my sister, Geoky. Only I among us both, only I seemed to be able to carry off a straight face and lie through without batting an eyelid. So we headed there, my sis, Dad (who didnt know about our dilemna) and me. I combed my hair to the very side parting to make some sort of resemblance. I cant help the fact that I look younger, and my hair was coloured compared to her boss...
When we arrived. I went on ahead while they waited at the zoo area, to go get the tix. Though my sister's collegues were telling her that they just quickly flash the staff card. This particular lady whom served me, took the staff card, looked at me and said "Erm..." I could see she was trying to see if there was resemblance. I looked at her with a straight face and said "Erm...." then mumbled a bit about it being an old photo. So after a short, uncomfortable pause, she processed the letter and gave me a tix to admit. I paid for 3x tram rides of $30 total.
Then I walked back to find my sis and dad. Dad was still kept in the dark cos we know he would nag non-stop about honesty and all the stuff if he knew of the complicated ruse of posing as my sis's boss. We ate KFC right outside the zoo entrance before going in. Over our meals, I was telling my sis about the whole 'adventure' and the "erm erm". Seriously for an adult with tram ride, tix is $32 per person! Freaking expensive. If not for this 'free' entry except for tram, I wouldnt even wanna pay. The worse-case scenario is that in the end, I wasnt successful in the impersonation and had to resort to buying 3 full price tix and just bluff my dad that they were free. PHEW!
After dinner, around 7.30pm, everything closed. Including the KFC, the Cheers. Everything at the Zoo corner closed. Then we walked with a full belly towards the Night safari. We entered and walked 1 of the trail nearest to the entrance. It was quite refreshing initially esp when you walk and see the noctural animals like deers, crocodile. But later we reached the end of the trail and we had to walk quite a long distance back to the entrance area to watch the Animal Show and later take the Tram ride. By then my dad was breathing hard already. I whispered to my sis that most likely we watch the show and take tram, end cos no chance can get Dad to walk much more. His heart plus severely obese, made it difficult for him to walk too much. More so in the dark trails with slopes.
The animal show was alright. Surprised at the size of the wolf and hyena, also how cute the fishing cat was. Not impressed with the otters cos of the previous otter-sex encounters just a couple of months back. Think the show is really for kids.
After that we headed for the Tram ride. While we were waiting in the queue for the animal show, we saw the tram passengers alighting and there was a wall of photos taken while people were in the tram. We were observing how they printed out everything and there were a few takers. We were trying to see how much the photos cost. It cost $20 for it. Its a rather big photo. We agreed that if the shot was decent, can consider paying when its our turn. When we just got on, within seconds, a guy came and took photos with just 1sec of notice. Err my eyes were half closed in the photo. But overall we all look decent and we did pay for that photo.
The tram ride was rather cooling. Got to see many animals indeed (including a bull elephant facing its ass straight at the road where the trams would pass by and poohing) Cos of the dark, couldnt see too clearly for me, my sis was telling me she saw something drop. Really saw many diff animals though we didnt go to the other 3 walking trails. After the ride, we walked out. I dont think I would want to go again unless its free. $32 is totally not worth it. Very over-priced even by tourist standards. My sis was saying that at least in Taipei, we headed to touristy places and the stuff were pretty cheap, they had a range of prices and not overly expensive unlike Sg. I totally agree.
Feeling thirsty, we were considering getting a drink or an ice-cream. But the food-court superbly over-priced! A nasi brayani cost $17-$19. Chilli crab is $56. A sweet and sour hotplate costs $20+ OMFG!!! A can of coke cost $4. We decided we rather go elsewhere. Also took a peep in the merchandise shops. Bloody expensive. A plushie cost mostly near $30. There was a nice polo for $35 but I decided not to. The cheapest was some flimsy looking small key chain of sort. No thanks. My dad offered to treat us Bens & Jerrys but we think he is not familiar with the premium pricing of the ice-cream. He pointed at certain pics of Mix and Match, Sundaes that had several scoops of ice-cream, and they cost $15-$16. We told Dad that we rather go elsewhere. Plus obviously he not willing to pay the premium price for the ice cream. My dad is still in the mass-market type ice cream.
We headed to the car, got out some canned drinks and drank. Then headed home. Missed the connection from KJE and landed near Tuas. Then made it home near midnight. I slept around 1am plus after all the 'excitement'.
I wouldnt want to go to both zoo or the night safari until maybe ten years later. Not that I dont like animals. But having seen so many documentaries about them, learn so much about their natural habitat and seeing them just hanging around in the zoo is just so shallow. Plus didnt really learn alot about facts. The only thing is the size. Certain animals are just so large in real-life compared to what is seen in the documentaries. Can appreciate the raw power of the animal from its size and build.
My sis got the staff letter from her boss to get 4 admitted into the Night Safari. But there's a catch, the staff must be there and produce the staff card. So her boss loaned her the card. BUT looking at the pic, none of us look like that. Maybe my mom but in the end she didnt want to go.
So is left with me or my sister, Geoky. Only I among us both, only I seemed to be able to carry off a straight face and lie through without batting an eyelid. So we headed there, my sis, Dad (who didnt know about our dilemna) and me. I combed my hair to the very side parting to make some sort of resemblance. I cant help the fact that I look younger, and my hair was coloured compared to her boss...
When we arrived. I went on ahead while they waited at the zoo area, to go get the tix. Though my sister's collegues were telling her that they just quickly flash the staff card. This particular lady whom served me, took the staff card, looked at me and said "Erm..." I could see she was trying to see if there was resemblance. I looked at her with a straight face and said "Erm...." then mumbled a bit about it being an old photo. So after a short, uncomfortable pause, she processed the letter and gave me a tix to admit. I paid for 3x tram rides of $30 total.
Then I walked back to find my sis and dad. Dad was still kept in the dark cos we know he would nag non-stop about honesty and all the stuff if he knew of the complicated ruse of posing as my sis's boss. We ate KFC right outside the zoo entrance before going in. Over our meals, I was telling my sis about the whole 'adventure' and the "erm erm". Seriously for an adult with tram ride, tix is $32 per person! Freaking expensive. If not for this 'free' entry except for tram, I wouldnt even wanna pay. The worse-case scenario is that in the end, I wasnt successful in the impersonation and had to resort to buying 3 full price tix and just bluff my dad that they were free. PHEW!
After dinner, around 7.30pm, everything closed. Including the KFC, the Cheers. Everything at the Zoo corner closed. Then we walked with a full belly towards the Night safari. We entered and walked 1 of the trail nearest to the entrance. It was quite refreshing initially esp when you walk and see the noctural animals like deers, crocodile. But later we reached the end of the trail and we had to walk quite a long distance back to the entrance area to watch the Animal Show and later take the Tram ride. By then my dad was breathing hard already. I whispered to my sis that most likely we watch the show and take tram, end cos no chance can get Dad to walk much more. His heart plus severely obese, made it difficult for him to walk too much. More so in the dark trails with slopes.
The animal show was alright. Surprised at the size of the wolf and hyena, also how cute the fishing cat was. Not impressed with the otters cos of the previous otter-sex encounters just a couple of months back. Think the show is really for kids.
After that we headed for the Tram ride. While we were waiting in the queue for the animal show, we saw the tram passengers alighting and there was a wall of photos taken while people were in the tram. We were observing how they printed out everything and there were a few takers. We were trying to see how much the photos cost. It cost $20 for it. Its a rather big photo. We agreed that if the shot was decent, can consider paying when its our turn. When we just got on, within seconds, a guy came and took photos with just 1sec of notice. Err my eyes were half closed in the photo. But overall we all look decent and we did pay for that photo.
The tram ride was rather cooling. Got to see many animals indeed (including a bull elephant facing its ass straight at the road where the trams would pass by and poohing) Cos of the dark, couldnt see too clearly for me, my sis was telling me she saw something drop. Really saw many diff animals though we didnt go to the other 3 walking trails. After the ride, we walked out. I dont think I would want to go again unless its free. $32 is totally not worth it. Very over-priced even by tourist standards. My sis was saying that at least in Taipei, we headed to touristy places and the stuff were pretty cheap, they had a range of prices and not overly expensive unlike Sg. I totally agree.
Feeling thirsty, we were considering getting a drink or an ice-cream. But the food-court superbly over-priced! A nasi brayani cost $17-$19. Chilli crab is $56. A sweet and sour hotplate costs $20+ OMFG!!! A can of coke cost $4. We decided we rather go elsewhere. Also took a peep in the merchandise shops. Bloody expensive. A plushie cost mostly near $30. There was a nice polo for $35 but I decided not to. The cheapest was some flimsy looking small key chain of sort. No thanks. My dad offered to treat us Bens & Jerrys but we think he is not familiar with the premium pricing of the ice-cream. He pointed at certain pics of Mix and Match, Sundaes that had several scoops of ice-cream, and they cost $15-$16. We told Dad that we rather go elsewhere. Plus obviously he not willing to pay the premium price for the ice cream. My dad is still in the mass-market type ice cream.
We headed to the car, got out some canned drinks and drank. Then headed home. Missed the connection from KJE and landed near Tuas. Then made it home near midnight. I slept around 1am plus after all the 'excitement'.
I wouldnt want to go to both zoo or the night safari until maybe ten years later. Not that I dont like animals. But having seen so many documentaries about them, learn so much about their natural habitat and seeing them just hanging around in the zoo is just so shallow. Plus didnt really learn alot about facts. The only thing is the size. Certain animals are just so large in real-life compared to what is seen in the documentaries. Can appreciate the raw power of the animal from its size and build.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
1 class sit through course introduction.
1 class of my own.
Settling admin n planning n stuff 2 periods
Free time after lunch, guide student n looked for one
1 period conversation class
1 period fire drill
Home room before all lessons start n after lessons end.
Cca immediately after dismissal
Ended at 5.30pm, I left about 6pm... Didn't attend the party, glad assignment is cancelled. I ate a quick dinner n fell asleep watching tv. Only to wake n lie on the floor sleeping until 11 then woke up. Still tired n plan to sleep in more hours.
1 class of my own.
Settling admin n planning n stuff 2 periods
Free time after lunch, guide student n looked for one
1 period conversation class
1 period fire drill
Home room before all lessons start n after lessons end.
Cca immediately after dismissal
Ended at 5.30pm, I left about 6pm... Didn't attend the party, glad assignment is cancelled. I ate a quick dinner n fell asleep watching tv. Only to wake n lie on the floor sleeping until 11 then woke up. Still tired n plan to sleep in more hours.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
See the Bigger Picture
Today is the first lesson for the level I am taking. I hammered together a plan of sort and photocopied the ws in the midst of me munching my breakfast. After the form class (more of zhuo bo inside) then got 1 class. I really lost quite a bit of my stamina. After that class, doing the admin. Even more tired.
After all that was done, left a short while for me to rest up before teaching the same thing to another class. Shortened lunch of Subway wrap. Followed by cleaning duty supervision. Then had that communication class, straight after is more form class. Nothing much glitches and actually students were quite positive and its encouraging.
But I was really stoned out after all that. I was really really empty after all that. Followed by the once a month long meeting... that went on until 5.35pm. I was tuning out some parts of jap by then. My brain refuse to translate anymore. End of meeting, finished up some more stupid introduction (I''ve lost count of no of introduction I've done) for the class newsletter. Then before I could move off, a collegue came to talk to me about committee work, left 6pm. Let's just say, there's alot of work and I dont want to do it outside of my work hours. Anyway just telling me verbally is not going to help much, plus telling me when things like budget is vague or even inital plans are not there is not going to help much. So I am not going to put more thoughts into it outside of working hours.
Outside work hours are my own time to do as I please. To exercise, to go for assignment, to go out, to sleep, to watch tv, go for course, to stay at home and talk with family member. Though time and again, I have lesson ideas sprouting out from the blue, I dont make any effort to write it down, cos I dont want work & play to mix. A clear division works better for me. I still feel they are not paying enough to utilise these ideas. I rather just keep them in my brain. If later forget such ideas, forget it, no loss. I dont wanna work from home. I am not that self-sacrificing as an educator.
Was too tired to go to the gym. Instead head to a nearby bookshop to buy some clear binding pockets, a paper memo. Bought bread. My lunch and breakfast was so low on calories (total about 600) that I could afford to eat a Yam bread, then eat rice and stuff, still only 1400 calories approximately. Bought a bread for tom's lunch. Cos these past mornings, I have been eating Ham sandwiches with lettuce, honey mustard, tomatoes. Quite tasty but think the raw food is not good for my stomach and hence my cough. Been coughing quite a bit. I do feel my still-fitting work pants got slightly looser. Still got some way to go to my target weight of 62.5kg (Uni weight) If I can ever reach back to that weight, I wont ever complain about my weight anymore.
I've managed to "siam" the whole workplace dinner. For one, its very over-priced. If its really really fantastic luxury food, I am willing to pay that price. But for zcp, I walk over to a neighbourhood coffeeshop nearby that serves very delicious zcp for just a mere $2.80. At these zcp dinners, I often eat little because its just not nice enough, plus no matter how much I eat, no sense of value. I really dont care much for the 'you know' factor cos usually in practice, attending such dinners is to net-work and build up some goodwill for use later.
But given that last year, after so many dinners, did that lead to anything more? I dont think so. They just needed us to become main teachers so that they can get rid of the contracted vendor for that communication classes. Dont think attending such extremely katok dinners is helping anything. Plus you dont get to sit with your khakis. You have to 'lucky draw' a specific seat. And its really really random where you end up sitting at. Then forced to make small talks with your immediate neighbours. Well its good for exposure but with such different cultures, interests, age-group, gender and plus language barrier and proficiency. So really very very non-important topics of small talk. I ever got to sit right next to the P and another with both VP before. Really suay. Can make small talk but really too different to say anything. Then some would ask you questions about your personal life which I have to circumvate around not to be too revealing and later got to ask a similar qn back. There are some things I really dont want to know about some casual aquaintances or others. I dont want to know about your lives. What's so fascinating about mine? Ya I am ususual but I just wanna be left alone.
Tomorrow's dinner is the first in a whole string. I would just go for the cheaper ones if not, minimally. I am also very tired. I need to use the time to rest. Plus tom night, I have assignment unless its cancelled. So if go is double whammy - eat katok zcp plus lose assignment income. I rather choose not to go, save the money, go and earn the money. Then reach home around 11 pm plus and sleep late until the next day.
On a lighter note, I made the "Peanut-butter banana with chocolate kisses wrapped in Wanton" on Monday. Also missed the gym workout cos of tired. But since I had to climb up and down and even stand in the hot sun during work, I was glad to miss gym. Sufficient. The fried wantons were delicious esp when consumed shortly after cooking. Cos everything is melted and combined inside plus the cripsy wanton skin, is very nice. Really surprised by how delicious they were. BUT the wantons cannot keep. Once its kept for about 1.5-2hr mark, they start softening and the insides solidify a bit. So not that tasty. So its a nice treat to be finished immediately or shortly. Really easy except for the wrapping up the wantons that time.
Next mini 'cooking or mixing' project is to make my own alcoholic raisins. I checked on the internet that dark rum can be used to soak raisins. Cos dark rum is not easily mixable as a cocktail drink due to its signature taste like whisky. I had bought small boxes of raisins yesterday to try. Not yet, maybe in 10mins time. Yesterday I also bought a can of Anchor Beer Smooth (1 chilled can is $1.85)cos I was paying at Sheng Siong and saw the chilled beer section. Brain was still reeling from the 'overload' and thinking too much stuff, that I decided to get one to sample with dinner so that I can force the overly-hyper active brain to 'relax and stop thinking'. That really did the trick. The beer is very nice too, reminds me of Tiger classic, with little bitter after-taste. More relaxed after and headed for assignment. I really didnt think much on the journey despite the long queues and packed trains and buses. Just numbed. Now I know why some drink so much. Still for health reasons, an occasional beer to numb is fine. Too much is alcoholism.
I know this year I have to make sure I save up more dilligently cos really this position has not much gurantees. If next year they decide on another 'plan' then maybe I would be out of job. So I will be more thrifty. Maximizing savings to hit my next higher level of personal buffer (target is $50k) Also give myself a week or two to firstly build up the stamina (cos after work, I am so dead) to settle things in order before I start looking for a job at the sideline. A pre-emptive move.
Even if later after considering all factors, I might stay on in the future cos after comparing, maybe others are worse, but at least I would feel better to be focusing my efforts towards something. Looking at the 9 reasons I have, its a reminder that sometimes too caught up in small trival things to see the Bigger Picture. Sometimes just have to wait a bit until more stamina built up, less tired and irritated and impatient to see the whole situation.
After all that was done, left a short while for me to rest up before teaching the same thing to another class. Shortened lunch of Subway wrap. Followed by cleaning duty supervision. Then had that communication class, straight after is more form class. Nothing much glitches and actually students were quite positive and its encouraging.
But I was really stoned out after all that. I was really really empty after all that. Followed by the once a month long meeting... that went on until 5.35pm. I was tuning out some parts of jap by then. My brain refuse to translate anymore. End of meeting, finished up some more stupid introduction (I''ve lost count of no of introduction I've done) for the class newsletter. Then before I could move off, a collegue came to talk to me about committee work, left 6pm. Let's just say, there's alot of work and I dont want to do it outside of my work hours. Anyway just telling me verbally is not going to help much, plus telling me when things like budget is vague or even inital plans are not there is not going to help much. So I am not going to put more thoughts into it outside of working hours.
Outside work hours are my own time to do as I please. To exercise, to go for assignment, to go out, to sleep, to watch tv, go for course, to stay at home and talk with family member. Though time and again, I have lesson ideas sprouting out from the blue, I dont make any effort to write it down, cos I dont want work & play to mix. A clear division works better for me. I still feel they are not paying enough to utilise these ideas. I rather just keep them in my brain. If later forget such ideas, forget it, no loss. I dont wanna work from home. I am not that self-sacrificing as an educator.
Was too tired to go to the gym. Instead head to a nearby bookshop to buy some clear binding pockets, a paper memo. Bought bread. My lunch and breakfast was so low on calories (total about 600) that I could afford to eat a Yam bread, then eat rice and stuff, still only 1400 calories approximately. Bought a bread for tom's lunch. Cos these past mornings, I have been eating Ham sandwiches with lettuce, honey mustard, tomatoes. Quite tasty but think the raw food is not good for my stomach and hence my cough. Been coughing quite a bit. I do feel my still-fitting work pants got slightly looser. Still got some way to go to my target weight of 62.5kg (Uni weight) If I can ever reach back to that weight, I wont ever complain about my weight anymore.
I've managed to "siam" the whole workplace dinner. For one, its very over-priced. If its really really fantastic luxury food, I am willing to pay that price. But for zcp, I walk over to a neighbourhood coffeeshop nearby that serves very delicious zcp for just a mere $2.80. At these zcp dinners, I often eat little because its just not nice enough, plus no matter how much I eat, no sense of value. I really dont care much for the 'you know' factor cos usually in practice, attending such dinners is to net-work and build up some goodwill for use later.
But given that last year, after so many dinners, did that lead to anything more? I dont think so. They just needed us to become main teachers so that they can get rid of the contracted vendor for that communication classes. Dont think attending such extremely katok dinners is helping anything. Plus you dont get to sit with your khakis. You have to 'lucky draw' a specific seat. And its really really random where you end up sitting at. Then forced to make small talks with your immediate neighbours. Well its good for exposure but with such different cultures, interests, age-group, gender and plus language barrier and proficiency. So really very very non-important topics of small talk. I ever got to sit right next to the P and another with both VP before. Really suay. Can make small talk but really too different to say anything. Then some would ask you questions about your personal life which I have to circumvate around not to be too revealing and later got to ask a similar qn back. There are some things I really dont want to know about some casual aquaintances or others. I dont want to know about your lives. What's so fascinating about mine? Ya I am ususual but I just wanna be left alone.
Tomorrow's dinner is the first in a whole string. I would just go for the cheaper ones if not, minimally. I am also very tired. I need to use the time to rest. Plus tom night, I have assignment unless its cancelled. So if go is double whammy - eat katok zcp plus lose assignment income. I rather choose not to go, save the money, go and earn the money. Then reach home around 11 pm plus and sleep late until the next day.
On a lighter note, I made the "Peanut-butter banana with chocolate kisses wrapped in Wanton" on Monday. Also missed the gym workout cos of tired. But since I had to climb up and down and even stand in the hot sun during work, I was glad to miss gym. Sufficient. The fried wantons were delicious esp when consumed shortly after cooking. Cos everything is melted and combined inside plus the cripsy wanton skin, is very nice. Really surprised by how delicious they were. BUT the wantons cannot keep. Once its kept for about 1.5-2hr mark, they start softening and the insides solidify a bit. So not that tasty. So its a nice treat to be finished immediately or shortly. Really easy except for the wrapping up the wantons that time.
Next mini 'cooking or mixing' project is to make my own alcoholic raisins. I checked on the internet that dark rum can be used to soak raisins. Cos dark rum is not easily mixable as a cocktail drink due to its signature taste like whisky. I had bought small boxes of raisins yesterday to try. Not yet, maybe in 10mins time. Yesterday I also bought a can of Anchor Beer Smooth (1 chilled can is $1.85)cos I was paying at Sheng Siong and saw the chilled beer section. Brain was still reeling from the 'overload' and thinking too much stuff, that I decided to get one to sample with dinner so that I can force the overly-hyper active brain to 'relax and stop thinking'. That really did the trick. The beer is very nice too, reminds me of Tiger classic, with little bitter after-taste. More relaxed after and headed for assignment. I really didnt think much on the journey despite the long queues and packed trains and buses. Just numbed. Now I know why some drink so much. Still for health reasons, an occasional beer to numb is fine. Too much is alcoholism.
I know this year I have to make sure I save up more dilligently cos really this position has not much gurantees. If next year they decide on another 'plan' then maybe I would be out of job. So I will be more thrifty. Maximizing savings to hit my next higher level of personal buffer (target is $50k) Also give myself a week or two to firstly build up the stamina (cos after work, I am so dead) to settle things in order before I start looking for a job at the sideline. A pre-emptive move.
Even if later after considering all factors, I might stay on in the future cos after comparing, maybe others are worse, but at least I would feel better to be focusing my efforts towards something. Looking at the 9 reasons I have, its a reminder that sometimes too caught up in small trival things to see the Bigger Picture. Sometimes just have to wait a bit until more stamina built up, less tired and irritated and impatient to see the whole situation.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
No Stamina n rolls eyes
It's such a bothersome day. My time-table is very hectic on Mon and Tue. It has back to back lessons. Then with the 10mins interval, it meant either I find a bench n sit or climb down then up again. But with no personal space along the corridor, can see why some just stay up all the way... Need to keep water bottle handy.
Just for today, first lesson is spent on course briefing. I have to be present but just do self introd etc, other collegue takes the lead. But when it comes to the other communication lesson, it's the first lesson, hit the ground running. I already made changes to the lousy ws, made an extra and photocopy for the whole level plus have to lead... I dunno why this other new collegue keeps asking me questions. I answered him I am not that sure of every lesson. BUT we will stick to that Lesson Flow n ideas done up by Headless cos I am NOT going to wreck my brain for a replacement/better activity, alter the flow or any extra.
So with questions asked by various collegues about their roles, I told them u assist a small gp of students. That same Jap had to explain the course outline, I got the Az to explain quickly the goals of the year n expectation. Then each of us did quite interesting self introd but cos abt 6, so time dragged a bit. Plus blur collegue explained very long. I was left with 20mins to do the activity n explain their hw activity. Walao! Ate time a bit but managed to finish assigning... Bloody hell, I felt so super tired after that...
Then Headless came n ask me how it went... Err better flow n activities? What to say, told her not enough time but still mged to assign. I heard her talking to the other jap collegues to solicit feedback. I really think it's not the students, but the lesson planning n planned activities n ws. Guess what? It's another round of that tomorrow... *sigh*
I felt damn tired and drained after that one lesson... Partly no stamina (new term, new job responsibilities) and at almost same pay. Do so much for what. I always enjoy teaching hence I am still doing that but these ambiguities are not helping me 'enjoy teaching' at all. Extra hrs going to form class, plus own Eng lessons n now this whole unclear idea of a communication cum reading writing class. A bad deal. I am not the only one unhappy - my counterpart, the non-jap collegues whom are roped in to assist. I don't think I should be planning this thing also... Poor planning n communication indeed. Cuedos to Az n local collegues who can ne flexible enough inside to help out, ask them a question to showcase a bad/good example. But
was very rushed due to time.
God I have this lesson everyday except Fri on top of my own Eng solo lessons... With cca starting, I am seeing that it's impossible to plan stuff the day before unless I stay back which I refuse. Cos on at least 2 of such, immediate after is cca. Plus need to photocopy copies... Signs
Can the hols n weekends come quickly. Tom have meeting, then the day after is cca. All straight after dismissal. Left free periods? It's a punishing schedule
Just for today, first lesson is spent on course briefing. I have to be present but just do self introd etc, other collegue takes the lead. But when it comes to the other communication lesson, it's the first lesson, hit the ground running. I already made changes to the lousy ws, made an extra and photocopy for the whole level plus have to lead... I dunno why this other new collegue keeps asking me questions. I answered him I am not that sure of every lesson. BUT we will stick to that Lesson Flow n ideas done up by Headless cos I am NOT going to wreck my brain for a replacement/better activity, alter the flow or any extra.
So with questions asked by various collegues about their roles, I told them u assist a small gp of students. That same Jap had to explain the course outline, I got the Az to explain quickly the goals of the year n expectation. Then each of us did quite interesting self introd but cos abt 6, so time dragged a bit. Plus blur collegue explained very long. I was left with 20mins to do the activity n explain their hw activity. Walao! Ate time a bit but managed to finish assigning... Bloody hell, I felt so super tired after that...
Then Headless came n ask me how it went... Err better flow n activities? What to say, told her not enough time but still mged to assign. I heard her talking to the other jap collegues to solicit feedback. I really think it's not the students, but the lesson planning n planned activities n ws. Guess what? It's another round of that tomorrow... *sigh*
I felt damn tired and drained after that one lesson... Partly no stamina (new term, new job responsibilities) and at almost same pay. Do so much for what. I always enjoy teaching hence I am still doing that but these ambiguities are not helping me 'enjoy teaching' at all. Extra hrs going to form class, plus own Eng lessons n now this whole unclear idea of a communication cum reading writing class. A bad deal. I am not the only one unhappy - my counterpart, the non-jap collegues whom are roped in to assist. I don't think I should be planning this thing also... Poor planning n communication indeed. Cuedos to Az n local collegues who can ne flexible enough inside to help out, ask them a question to showcase a bad/good example. But
was very rushed due to time.
God I have this lesson everyday except Fri on top of my own Eng solo lessons... With cca starting, I am seeing that it's impossible to plan stuff the day before unless I stay back which I refuse. Cos on at least 2 of such, immediate after is cca. Plus need to photocopy copies... Signs
Can the hols n weekends come quickly. Tom have meeting, then the day after is cca. All straight after dismissal. Left free periods? It's a punishing schedule
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The dust of life (reminder to self)
I went out to buy dinner just now and some thoughts hit me. I think part of my negativism comes from the 'dust of daily life'.
This thing about worries.
Have job also worried, no job also worried. Worries about future, worries about work, worries about family and health, worries about money and sustainability. No easy answers to these and many of us will ponder if there is an answer to all these.
In fact in our lives (long not short) there's plenty of worries, stress and unhappiness. Is that how I wanna live my life? Obviously no. Then I have to make myself happier. Others cant make me happy always because if you look at other people's lives, the similar worries, stress and unhappiness are all there. There's nobody to constantly help cheer you up, there are those who can help out when you are in a dump. But not every second, every minute with you. The rest is up to you.
True. I can do things to make my own life easier on myself. Be easier on myself for my weakness, my flaws. Understand that I am not perfect, I make mistakes and I am human. I get discouraged at times, I struggled, I've lost my focus before, I've been disappointed, I've been sadden and negative. I've had to struggle very hard, I've had dreams broken, I've been slapped by the starkness of reality and have been pulled down to the ground. In the face of all these, its okay to feel bad, negative, sad. Then the next thing is to move on, not just to be knocked down again, but to cheer myself up along the way so that life is not as harsh, there are things to smile about still.
I need to remind myself this time and again whenever I am covered by the 'dust of daily living' and lose sight of things.
This thing about worries.
Have job also worried, no job also worried. Worries about future, worries about work, worries about family and health, worries about money and sustainability. No easy answers to these and many of us will ponder if there is an answer to all these.
In fact in our lives (long not short) there's plenty of worries, stress and unhappiness. Is that how I wanna live my life? Obviously no. Then I have to make myself happier. Others cant make me happy always because if you look at other people's lives, the similar worries, stress and unhappiness are all there. There's nobody to constantly help cheer you up, there are those who can help out when you are in a dump. But not every second, every minute with you. The rest is up to you.
True. I can do things to make my own life easier on myself. Be easier on myself for my weakness, my flaws. Understand that I am not perfect, I make mistakes and I am human. I get discouraged at times, I struggled, I've lost my focus before, I've been disappointed, I've been sadden and negative. I've had to struggle very hard, I've had dreams broken, I've been slapped by the starkness of reality and have been pulled down to the ground. In the face of all these, its okay to feel bad, negative, sad. Then the next thing is to move on, not just to be knocked down again, but to cheer myself up along the way so that life is not as harsh, there are things to smile about still.
I need to remind myself this time and again whenever I am covered by the 'dust of daily living' and lose sight of things.
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