Gorging myself... 4 days consecutively

Not good for my waistline...

This week's KM lessons didn't drive away the blues cos I didn't learn much under the kachong and kee hiong instructor twice in 2 days. I left the Adv class feeling very sian. The supposed revision that adv class would do is not at all helpful. More adv techniques and not taught properly... I kena hit in the head by some guys bridging over. Sprained wrist felt worse. Tuesday, I rolled eyes when I saw the same instructor. Luckily I have already learnt that technique before. Dunno how but I suspect someone hit me in the head and I felt a bump on the back... WTF, lemme find that f^>~* and will knee him in the groin. I suspect someone. Will KIV.

That night, I went over to the Maxwell food centre and dabaoed 16 饺子, 8 锅贴, a medium plate of noodles, 2 big packs of big sweet n sour seafood tofu soup. Reached home and polished off 3 锅贴, 5饺子, a pack of the seafood tofu meat soup and half of the noodles. That's despite me eating a 8-piece sushi and an onigiri earlier before.

Wed dinner, I dabaoed Indian Rojak (a lot) and 2 packs of mutton soup. I heated up the earlier leftover from the night before. I finished off the sweet n sour soup, 5 锅贴, 3饺子, leftover noodles and ate a third of the Indian rojak, plus 1 pack of the mutton soup. Later on around midnight, I munched on another serving of the Indian rojak.

Thurs, I dabaoed Fried Chicken Bryani, and ate with the leftover Indian rojak. Later at night, I finished off the Indian rojak.

Friday, after marking the exam papers, OTed until 6.30pm, I dabaoed Curry Chicken Bryani. Just ate all of it. Seems okay until u know that I ate Malay Nasi Padang for lunch, which serves a big mountain of rice, with 1 veg, 1 chicken wing, spiced liver and heart.

Will try to rein-in this eating which is like stress-induced. Luckily my mom's coming back tomorrow. Would have to eat Subway and noodles and porridge for another 2 weeks or so. My sprained wrist is still not fully healed... so not doing any exercise at home. Hmm see how.

Haze sickness

Been having a dry throat from the haze since it started reaching much higher levels from Wednesday. It's one of the reason, why I didnt go for KM on Thurs. Dont feel good enough. By Saturday, after the new epic high, I woke up to a dry and hurting throat. It felt like a sharp knife is cutting everytime I swallow. Decided to see the docs. Had to wait quite a while and got antibiotics, cough mixture and a zinc based lozenges. Thanks to the antibiotics, this morning was much better but I got a side migraine instead... I suspect that it's haze-induced.

Went out to buy breakfast for me and Dad cos my mom and both sisters are holidaying in China. I gotta look after the house. Its kinda tough to not have air-con with this type of haze. The best I could do was to stay in the room with both doors and windows closed and the fan switched on. Today I have been staying outside in the living room longer, that might explain it. Though the PSI started being lower than 100, now that I look outside, it seems really bad. Maybe not a 400 but definitely above 100, cos I could hardly see certain buidings in the distance. Think today is going to get worse.

After breakfast, I made a cup of coffee and drank it to see if the migraine was due to 'coffee addiction', within a short while it got better but still lingered. Feeling very hot and sweaty and harder to breath today. Think after this, will shower and hide in the room. Maybe later on, I shall go and hide in an air-con mall instead.

Haze, unexpected break n work

Of my classes, there's one which is lacking periods cos of the earlier event. Hence I've been trying to hang in there especially this week, so they don't miss any lessons, even as the haze worsens and I feel myself being affected.

Thursday morning the haze was quite bad that when I reach the workplace, decided to use the cloth mask Tab gave me. All students were issued surgical masks and told to wear them and they are to stay in the air-conditioned classrooms at all times. Colleagues were also told to wear masks. By noon, it had gotten worse that just that short walk between the office n classroom felt uncomfortable without a mask.

I wore the black cloth mask with Chinese characters at the side when I walk between classes outside but once I am inside, I chose to take it off. Cos already get too many stares. Kinda obvious cos everyone is in surgical masks except for me... But the mgt when she came to pass us each a surgical mask didn't object when I showed her what I would be using. So I don't think I broke any rules. 

Just that really tio stared at a lot... Some students commented 'cool', 'look like ninja', 'yakuza'...and even asked where I bought it. Told them it was a gift from Taiwan.

The next day, lessons are cancelled... And I didn't have to go in at all BUT that class was affected... Urgh so I decided to  go in today to type up some notes so they don't have to copy and hopefully I can squeeze in 2.5 lessons stuff in the 2 remaining lessons. We were given an N95 mask each by evening time so ends the reign of the black cloth mask. 

Today the haze reached a new high of 401 while I was working on the notes. I brought both masks home and wore it when I have to go outside the air-con office. I dabao Lor Bee Hoon Mee inside thinking that it'll be better for me to finish with, eat my lunch in then go home. 

3 Curious male colleagues saw what I was eating and asked about it. They love prawn noodles. I couldn't describe fully cos of language barrier so while eating, I put together a simple Word doc with pic of a stall with the sign 卤面 and the dish itself. Added in the ingredients list eg black sauce, egg, beansprouts, fried fish bits. Vinegar and garlic added, can dont add chilli. Wrote in simple English with large fonts. Then typed in the names to order such as Lor Mee, Lor Bee Hoon, Lor Kway Tiao and added a pic of the 3 different types of noodles. Printed it out in color and handed to them, explained what it is, how to find the stall, the names to order n can say no chilli. They happily say they'll try it out.

I decided to go for my 3rd KM in the evening. It's indoors, better than my home. Since I could afford the time n energy, try to maximize my 1st package, which is until the end of June. Plus grading is coming, I was contemplating going for the adv class yesterday but was tired on Wed, left wrist still not fully recovered. It's okay with the wrist support on but if taken out, can feel its not normal yet.

After I reached home, relaxed and played the guitar in the room. Kept windows closed and fan on. It's been a while since I had to luxury of time to play. Found the chords of a song I kinda liked and tried to play it, listening and adding in some strumming patterns for the chords, sounds pretty decent. Fingers are sore due to the high fret action of my budget guitar but it felt good. Watched some videos and mapped for an hour. Woke up to get ready for KM.

This is Week 10 of the first term. I still have 6 weeks to go including rushing to finish for that one class n exam marking... Sometimes I wonder how much more of this routine can I take? 

The stock market is reeling and falling. I should pay attention to any good buy opportunities so that I can earn more passive income, fill my coffers before I can contemplate whether to move on...

For now it's one-day-at-a-time, followed by one-week downed. Throat is getting sore at this point and my voice is affected, lower than before.

Slash Defense & My Grading

After dinner at Paragon, Quet and I spent some time walking inside. We emerged close to 10pm and headed over to Cineleisure cos it would be still open then. We saw a really large pool of blood at the entrance, cordoned off by police with a crowd peering on. We headed inside but looked as we walked on. Could smell the metallic twang of blood. There were some splatter on the entrance door but no sight of the victim. We wondered and speculated later if anyone died... 

It turned out that about 7-9pm time, a gang incident happened. A whole gang slashed up an NS guy cos they didn't like the way he walked. Confronted him at the back part Cineleisure and chased and slashed him as he turned to walk away.

That we only found out the next day on the news. We walked about Scape, there's Astons inside now, and landed in Toastbox for a poached egg n drink. Quet kindly drove me home. It's nice to get home earlier.

Then on Monday, I went for KM and due to this incident, our instructor decided to teach us 'defense against slash'. He did mention that the guy should have turned and run, so even if chased by assailants, many pairs of eyes will notice the commotion n be eye-witness and can seek help also instead of staying still n nobody will notice until you collapse and none-the-wiser. 

Of course with just one lesson, can't use this in real-life. Running away seems to be the best option. (I didn't ask what if ya are not a fast runner or have much stamina and kena chased down?) Cos I seemed to be the slowest runner in the warm-ups. Always kena tapped on the shoulder by the rest. 

I ended up clearing away my work blues on Monday but with a sore left wrist and a huge bruise on my outer right forearm. Pasted plasters and kena stared at work, asked questions about it, joked by some... the usual

Went for KM today feeling super super blue. Work is really tiring n I am getting fed-up. KM revived me. Today is basic atks, with a new bursting elbow. It is effective. After class, felt so much better, like no more troubles for now until the next day. 

Was told to gather after class regarding grading. The date is tentatively decided, I have a month before it. Advised to go for Advance class cos they are revising the grading stuff. In a sense it's good cos the advance class starts much later, so work won't affect it. Possible for me to have light dinner before. But on the other, if I leave from work, I'll have to find a place to hang until class. Preferably not too expensive and convenient. Have to see how. Hope my body is okay, then Thur, I'll go for my first Adv class and do some recee.

Tomorrow is kinda heavy, really want to have a break. The haze is affecting my throat n I am just kinda sick of being constantly tired, sleepy and unmotivated and also seeing bored faces, cos it's both ways... Scheduled sinseh visit and rest time.

Want the weekends to come... But next week is exam, and after that is more lessons =(

Sleeping on the floor

Today I woke up at 7am plus cos the sun was super bright. I thought it was 8-9am but it wasn't. Tried to go back to sleep to no avail, it was super hot. These days I have to sleep with the fan on at night. The past couple of nights were hotter, that I put it on speed 2 instead of the usual speed 1.

Munched a bit of mixed nuts. Went out for my brunch about 11am, ate charsiew plus roasted duck rice n a serving of pig stomach soup. It's filling but higher calories. Didn't feel like eating noodles. But I reached home still got munchies. Ate 4 squares of chocolate n half handful of mixed nuts. Munchies...

Reading comics and drank a cup of Honey Jim Bean plus air soda water. Drank half n I fell into blissful slumber on the cool floor tiles with the fan blowing.

Woke up to drink the other half, saw Quet's msg for dinner. Still felt okay, not too hungry, so despite having nuts n lots of chips n choc, I controlled n resisted. Hopefully will have seats at SoupSpoon. Already decided what to eat.

My sprained hip is almost healed, left wrist is almost ok. Think I should start light exercise at home, too indulgent n lax recently. Fitness-wise, think still maintained cos can do the KM warm-up but feel a bit heavier. Arms not as toned though, not doing dips due to sprained wrist; strength-wise, generally okay but I think my maxed no of push-ups have fallen. 

I think I need to exert some sort of control over parts of my life that I can, cos this year has been so hectic such that I feel like I'm hurtling and spiraling out of control at times, be it my workout, inspiration and motivation at times.

The bus just past Vivo, about halfway there. Bus journeys gives me time to think at times. 

Subway Dinner Replacement

Started my 'subway 1-meal replacement' plan again. No thanks to my slightly tighter pants. I stepped on the weighing scale this morning, I am up by 2kg... So gotta first tame the eating habits.

Yesterday and today, I went to Subway to eat a sandwich for dinner. I chose the lower calories one such as Ham, Roasted Chicken Breast. They have a bunch of low-calories ones and it remains low if I dont add cheese. All the vegetables, no jalapeno, honey mustard sauce, with or without a diet drink. About 300-340 calories.

Though yesterday I still ate half a bowl of rice and steamed chicken later on, there was more conscious control. So the plan is to keep to this for 1-2 weeks. It would be cheaper to make my own sandwich, but thinking that its just $5.50 for a short 1-2 weeks, so I ask myself, if my waistline is worth $80? My answer is definitely. So to save up, I shouldnt eat extravagantly outside, sometimes I spend up to $50 on a meal with drinks. So just 1-2 less meals outside would suffice.

My right hip is slightly twisted just by sitting on the floor... so my back is aching and my right butt is aching too. I did that on Monday at home... not even from KM. So after it acted up, I put on lots of plasters but still aches. Sore that I didnt feel up to doing my 3rd KM this week. Decided to go home, rest up. Left wrist is still slightly twisted, not fully recovered. Decide to let them rest so that they have time for recovery. No point pushing and aggravating the injuries.

Last night, I fell asleep earlier and woke up alert at 9pm, but could sleep without drinking any alcohol by 12.30am. so that's great news on breaking the reliance on it to get a peace of mind or relax.

Today's Friday but think no one is free. Traveling during this hols but I am the one still working. So bo bian, also wanna travel but that Taiwan food scare kinda dashed my plans. I was thinking of Taiwan. See how, no other plans to travel. Mine is still far, far away... For now, lemme focus on my bulging waist line and rein in.

For now I am really glad it's Friday. I was literally zombified. It's really sleeping inside while outside my eyes are open. Really not alert and always sleepy. Too much. Just when I thought if any longer, I might really end up on mc, it's Friday already and its over. Sigh... just really glad the week is over. I'll see if my calories allow for a drink later on. Or if not just sleep more and sleep late sounds good enough.  

Alarm Bells blaring

Ironed my smaller-sized khakis and put it on. It seemed tighter n not as loose, became like fitting with a little bit of slack whereas last time was looser with more slack....

... Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is an obvious sign I put back on some weight until its obvious enough via the smaller pants. I can wear it still but it became more fitting.Sigh... I've gotta rein in my eating especially nowadays due to work stress, so after work I ate more, when I go out with friends or even when I'm at home or even eat before going home. A heartier dinner, and lunch too for weekends. Think too much of good food. 

N the alcohol. The stress makes me wanna get a drink. Been drinking the Korean rice beer, Nest beer, Tiger beer & snacking. Eating chocolate or a bunch of mixed nuts too. 

And my left wrist is still not fully recovered from the sprain n my right hip is sprained. Not from KM but just from sitting on the floor at home on Monday. Really old liao. So I have been pasting medicated plasters. But it's kinda affecting me, I don't think I am up for the 3rd KM this week. Hope they will clear up soon so that I can try to do some workout at home or go for extra KM to increase the amount of exercise.

For now, starting since this morning, I  consciously trying to make good food choices, control excessive eating. Have to... I am past the age where I can eat anything without repercussion.

Tonight no alcohol n snacking first.

What I do on an off-day

Just had a work event last Saturday, so got Monday off.

Guess what I end up doing on these rare off-days. Mundane and routined stuff. Smsed for a Krav Maga lesson so that meant I would be going out in the early evening.

Woke up a bit later, though I woke up at my usual time and just lazed around in bed. Cant go back to sleep. Went next door to eat breakfast, which is Char Siew and Roasted Duck rice plus coffee. Headed to Sheng Siong and bought a bunch of rubbish... 2 big bars of chocolate, 4 big packs of Kettle Chips, and a dozen small-pack low fat milk. Really mundane.

In the afternoon, I was thinking of going to the central to return library books and also buy some stuff such as the Korean Rice beer and toiletries. Dunno if I would use the opportunity to head out. Still got newspaper cutting to do. Better clear that before I head out.

Used the time now to open up my unopened letters, mainly bills and statements. Read and sort through. Went online to check my stock portfolio and cpf balances. And its only 11.18am. Still got time to do stuff.
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Recently I havent been watching Tv and that meant time kinda pass slowly, yet being tired a lot and sleeping, meant time passed quickly then. But I feel very little constructive stuff is done.

Stepped on the weighing scale this morning, and luckily I still maintained the bulk of my weight loss. The max loss was 12kg. But due to my sometimes decadent eating especially on Fri, Sat and Sun, I put back up to 2kg back on. Still on 10kg weight loss. I do rein-in on weekdays to balance off those days of excessive eating and drinking. Still at my uni weight. Phew. Though I am not counting calories anymore, I try to rein-in over the next week if I have been eating too much. Will try to maintain this and try to go lower still, stomach still a bit flabby and arms are getting a bit softer from the reduced conditioning. The good thing is I havent bulked up.

My left wrist is still sprained, not fully recovered, hence hard to restart my conditioning cos its more resistance training. Dont want to aggravate it. So KM for now will do. They have another 6 months package promotion. Its much cheaper and I can save a lot more. My current one is ending June. So if I take it up, I'll be going until end Dec. That's a commitment. At times I feel like slacking off due to laziness but I always remind myself that if I slack, I would stagnate.

Life is kinda stagnating if there's nothing to improve upon, nothing to look forward to. I try to remind myself of the earlier days where I stagnated a lot and that it was the courses that I kept to that made my life more interesting. And the level of inspiration that it brings to me personally. KM for now has helped me upkeep my weight-loss, maintained my health and energy levels. I think without it, I would be still my rather fat and tired self from before. So I am going to take it up, pay for it and this time try to go for 2-3 times a week instead of the current twice a week to maximize it and also to offset for times if I decide to travel or have some things on, then the number of classes somewhat balances off.

If I can lower my monthly expenditure on KM, then it opens up the opportunity for me finacially to pay for the music course that would cost me about $150 pm. I am still toying with the idea of drums but given the time, maybe I should go for the guitar one first. Partly so that I don't neglect guitar. No time during cca time to practice cos got to teach the beginners. So for me, my guitar is stagnant. Hmm... most likely will put it on weekend, cos weekdays are taken up by KM. Think music can inspire me also. Last year I drew a lot of inspiration from what I did and my experiences. Something refreshing would help me, personally to pull out of this blue-ish period of time. Ironically I have partly gotten a bit used to it but not entirely.

On the extra income part, not good. Stocks not doing that good to pay me much. Less than $1.2k gains so far, and soon it'll be halfway into the year. Dont think I will go back to doing a side-line cos I want the time to pursue those courses and for myself. I remind myself that $1k is equivalent to doing 4 months of side-line, 2hrs twice a week. So that's good enough for me as that. The stock market started moving but before it could go higher, it went downwards. So just continue to wait until its low enough to buy or high enough to sell. Nothing in my portfolio is getting much capital appreciation. Just some dividends, hence the lowered gains. Just have to be patient then.