hmm great to hear that friends, candle, kheldar n quetzal r all getting something positive in their job search. All the best.

But for moi, nothing so far..... sign. N I didnt pass the Barclays test. Didnt finish all the question so inevitable. And cannot write on the test, very not used to.. but congrats to quetzal. Try your best there. So far, have really been bumming at home, sent out a couple of resumes, n the only offer i had were contract offers, not perms. Which I reject, 2nd time liao. For 1.6k for 1 year. Cos the job nature is really like my former monkey work. I wonder if I could really stand for 1 year. Then I was a bit lost as to whether I should have taken up the offer. At least its something... but I just wasnt really sure if I wanted to lock myself in for so long- then again, few stay for very long in their first job even if it is a perm one. It seems. So as Candle's cards predicted, I asked my Dad for some advise n inputs with regards to this dilemna. So in the end, I felt better cos he lets me decide my path, n so I am still looking for a perm job. It has only been a short week since I quit being a monkey. So I should not rush into another of such assignment unless there is some element that will help me build up my skills for the future. Wise words indeed. Very helpful when I was so lost n demoralized.... Now I feel more confident.

I am crashing and burning my cover letter n resume, cos according to the career service guy, Lawren*e, the first version no formating, not good. Then I used their format, still not happy, say alot irrelevant.... sign... then follow his input.... He is ONE of the cause of my distress earlier.... sign. N I really have to crash n burn my telephone conversation n interview conversations.... so that I do not waste anymore interviews that come along.

On a lighter note. There is this game, called Gunbound. A cute game where u sit in little mechs n launch projectiles at one another. Quite fun, have been playing for 2 days now. First need to dl the game, played over internet. 98Mb. Try for those who r bored. Then I have been watching alot of anime, Hiraku no Go. My sis's one so I dunno if she will lend u all. But its nice, and I am sorely tempted to learn Weiqi, but no master around. Nothing more to report. Still havent fixed up wrist n will try to become chimp asap. Maybe I should go temple n pray.....sign

ISTJ
You're systematic, thorough, painstaking, and hardworking...You get the job done and complete it on time...you are serious and sincere in whatever you do..you work well within a structure...follow the hierarchy...and are particularly strong and careful in keeping track of facts and details... (sounds like me doing monkey job)

Cautious...generally seeking to maintain the status quo...you are at your best getting things to the right place at the right time.... (i screw up so many interviews, got meh?)

Serious, responsible and sensible stalwarts of society...trustworthy and honor your commitments...your word is your solemn vow. Practical and realisitic, you have great powers of concentration....hard to distract once you have embarked what you believe is the best course of action.... .. (So i shouldnt promise anyone anything, since i always lose out?)

You like to apply past experience to present decisions...you can cite accurate evidence to support your views...you're down to earth and seek to do the right thing at the appropriate time...you find it hard to understand people who start an education but don't finish it... (So I live in the past, not the present nor future)

You are diligent and persevering in your efforts...whether it be school, or work, or love...A half-finished job is not a job well done...you probably believe in "Say what you mean and mean what you say." Private by nature, you appear calm in moments of crisis... (cos everything is inside... )

You believe in work before pleasure...(gee, like posting before playing the online games on Storm Palace?)..while you don't SEEK leadership positions, you might find yourself in one...you build a reputation for reliable, stable and consistent performance... (so what is such a hardworking bloke like me jobless?)

You like to schedule....even your LEISURE time! It helps to you if it has a purpose, even if that purpose is sociability...to you, love means bigtime commitment, steadiness and consistency...you behave appropriately for what the situation demands (for example, romantic in the beginning, and so on).. (really? i know that i havent been planning anything recently)

When you give your word and are ready to settle down, you follow-through... you expect your partners to act in a similar manner...you may stay in a poor relationship because of a sense of duty...you might have strong but unspoken reactions under that cool facade... (err no relationships at the moment) Logical and analytical...quick to point out flaws in other people...when you feel scorned in a relationship, you may not let your partner know it..when it's obvious that the relationship is really over, ending it is just the practical thing to do...

Things to look out for: you could immerse yourself in details...you could become rigid in your ways and be thought of as inflexible... don't forget to compliment people and be so concerned with getting the job done....you might overlook the long-range implications of your actions today...don't get stuck in a rut...recognize your emotions, and the values they represent... others might see you as insensitive... (so i am not such a good motivator? But i guess if i can motivate myself, i dun make such a poor one)

Also, you're skeptical of new ideas you don't see immediate and practical applications for...you may impose judgments on others...expect others to be the way YOU'd be...become more tolerant of difference between people. (so i'm weird n want people to be weird also)

ISTJ: "I Save Things Judiciouslyl" (wonder what this means? I save money religiously?)

Just some test results from Khledar's personality test blog, but might be useful for future... Still useful to keep your blog entries up when u dont feel particularly in touch with your long lost brains.

Yesterday went for early Jap lessons, after which I bought a bottle of that Tequila drink, forgotten the name. BUt got some old man face infront. Tasted okay like bitter lemon n the taste blends well with the Tequila taste, cos u cant tell both apart. But the feeling left in the throat feels super-dry. I never tried drinks that left such dryness in the throat. A must-be for drinkers who love lemon+dryness.

Still havent got my wrist fixed up cos my sis not free to go down with me. In the meantime, its just me, my bandages (tiger balm brand) and my wristband (serving as wrist guard). SO in the few short days of unemployment, I have tidied up my table, going onto the room, did up a balance sheet regarding my short temp m tuition to find out exact profits (have some fat), trying to send out some resumes now...err..., threw away some very monkey-related stuff n cleared the trash from accepting all the brocheres, Harry potter order of phonenix n slept like a VERY DEAD person.

Hmm the feeling of staying at home seems so unfamilar.... the last time i did that was 4 mths ago. BUt not to worry, just bought alot of anime vcds to entertain moi.... maybe i should just go n get a PS2 already... instead of waiting... for a sign or my last paycheck *grins

You are Spearmint.
You are quick-witted and sharp. You pay close
attention to details and you can tell what your
friends are feeling. You are always the first
to understand a joke and you are valued for
your insight and advice. However, you
sometimes isolate yourself from other people,
afraid to share your own feelings.
Most Compatible With: Cinnamon


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
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During my temping days, i always had frooze spearmint handy to recharge. One of my favourite flavours of sweets.

Yenn Hellbound was a Rich Acrobat in a past life. Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

Born in year of monkey, technically n also WAS a monkey....until today

Today, I inhaled the breathe of freedom as I walked out of the Zoo... n returned my leash. It felt damn good. I wanted to shout out at the top of my lungs- "Freedom!" which I did, but softly. Then i walked to meet up with friends who have come to celebrate this occassion with me. Krynnder got a perm job, n well double celebration- Me unemployed n her employed. Had a great evening with Candle, Krynnder n Kheldar. Ended up drinking 'Wild Turkey'- mixture of bourbon n whisky n coke 8% alcohol. My verdict- didnt really like bourbon taste, much prefer the housepour combination of gin+coke ... tasted like my cough syrup... Prefered the 'Long Island Tea'- mixture of tequila, rum etc... 10% alcohol. So walked around the Orchard area, watching buskers perform. feeling a bit weesy n warm, then again I can really hold my drink.... runs in the genes... not yet tested to its real limit but then again, I have my health n pocket in mind. As I have said to X upon leaving... "suffer too many internal n external injuries... definitely need time to heal..." Will no doubt rest a couple of weeks before my next venture.

Well tomorrow is the BIG day, my day of unemployment... finally after suffering soooo long of untold horrors, still not fully mentioned in this blog. I have reached the Ultimate level of Bo chapness n Stone. "Be one with the stone...." I think i can do that easily. Also become an all-terrain sleeper, can fall asleep on bus, train, work etc n even in the middle of exercise.... Okay there was this incident when i was doing some free weights exercise. I was tired so I took a breather n decide to close my eyes for a while to catch my breathe....going into stomache exercises later *I mumbled to myself....then ZZZZZZZ..... The next thing I knew n saw, was my Mom peeping into the room at 3am in the morning, looking very amused. Apparently I slept lying on the floor, with weights strapped to my ankles. Huh? Then I realized what I done... then i crept into bed. I also master mult-tasking even though the tasks r not related to work; when I'm keying data n eyes on screen, I still know what is going on around me, n can hum some tunes as well as day-dream at the same time n still maintain concentration... *just to indicate how little capacity just plain data-entry takes.... then i tire myself out by thinking tooooo much.

I hope that this period of unemployment will last at least 2 weeks cos some agency contacting me....got 1 mth temp. I dunno if i will take up anymore offers. Much as I tell myself that I really want n need to rest.... but my still empty resume esp with respect to 'work experience' n bloody bond (which still stands at 2yrs 8mths) n my impending cut in pocket money this coming December.... weigh heavily on my mind.... sign (same boat as ya Kheldar) I think I really need some time to sort out my dreams, aspirations, skills n career, not to mention my table n room.... that has been neglected for some 4 months now. But cast those thoughts aside for NOW, I AM GOING TO BE FREE! Just like Kheldar's blog, FREE!!!!!! Hahaha n at least for NOW, NOBODY can take that from me.

"I have locked myself willingly in a cage as a monkey(accepted the assignt) n now I am freeing myself willingly." ..........Yenn Hellbound

Countdown to unemployment n the return to my 'Human Form' : 4 more days. After this friday, 6pm to be precise, I will once again regain the use of my brains, wits, speech, get more sleep, rest, time to bum, play games n read my preciously neglected comics, go out, act my age, n most importantly my Sanity... which was really slipping.... No one ever told ya that temp work is really sooooooo dangerous n degenerating or so counter-evolution that u just 'return' to your roots.... n become a monkey. Now u know how ur ancient ancestors felt.... :P Currently a bit too tired to continue the temp brotherhood of monkeys. But stay tuned next time!

Mini-King; the Temp brotherhood severely threatened:
KPOcumEternalPMS, a thin man in his late thirties (dunno cant tell from the face), shrunken cheeks type n looks very much like the Craven character from Underworld. A big ass cum bully cum KPO cum PMS-stricken.... one who constantly chest-beat to gain attention to the fact that he is doing work (like the rest of us are bumming around n not doing work?) Acts as if he owns the place. So basically the idea is that the type of person u dont wanna meet esp if u have less power.(attack:800, defence:500, Hp:450) a formidable foe indeed.

KPOcumEternalPMS attacked the Temp brotherhood with Micromanaging, constantly jumping on one's errors. Tried all means to find any mistakes made by Monkey Hell n X and have them begging for mercy... He jumped on circumstantial evidence to base his claims of your errors(more details next time) (attack:350) Both temp monkeys were seriously hurt by the accusations or have to endure his nagging... Without letting up KPOcumEternalPMS launched in a series of 'Barking orders', he just enter the room n to no one in particular say "anyone go out and do data entry?" then leave, expecting someone to comply.... Monkey Hell retaliated by hissing under one's breath "U yourself not someone meh?" (attack:100) Monkey X also suffered from the various attacks, both could not last much longer under the barrage of attacks. KPOcumEternalPMS did not let up in his vicious attacks, he evoked the spells of MoreWork and banished the Temp brotherhood to do data-entry, and without letting them rest, sent Monkey Hell to do more eye-balling work, which proved too much for monkey hell that she retaliated "eyes tired, resting now, will do so later in 5-10 mins..." (attack150) KPOcumEternalPMS recovered from shock of hearing these words, as used to silent obdience, threatened "dare u to repeat what u have said to the Great One Eye.." (attack:700) Monkey Hell suffered huge damages n fumed.... Summoning whatever she had, she went n sat infront of the computer screen and SLACKED n SHIRKED from the work (regain full hp) The temp brotherhood could not defeat this monster without help, they escaped.... (to be continued)

Okay its settled, I'm quitting from my temp job n the prospects of evloving into a goriilla is in jeopardy. But the ironic part is that the opportunity might not have existed at all...in the first place. Cos nothing was told to me, not interviewed nor contacted by HR. So i guess i was a fool to stayed on beyond my intended 3 mths, which now stetches to 4mths. Then again I do not regret my decision cos I'm mentally, emotionally and physically tired of that place, people n monkey work. I really need timeout to recharge my being, plus the fact, if they want me, they can contact me while I'm resting at home, not while I'm 'performing' like a monkey/dog at less than 10% capacity. *nose held high in arrogance and defiance. One more week until freedom and I am counting down to the last day where I would definitely celebrate my newfound status as an UNEMPLOYMENT STATISTIC again!

(back to the exciting adventures of Temp Brotherhood of the Monkeys)
Basically MoreWork, HappyGoLucky n KPOcumEternalPMS caught up with the temp brotherhood of the monkeys which so far only comprised of Monkey Hell n X at the forest before Mt HeeheeHahahah. A ferocious battle soon ensued:

MoreWork (attack level: 200, defense: 100 n Hp: 500) attacked with a wave of nagging and ordering spells cast upon the brotherhood to do data-entry. The incessicent ringing in their ears caused them great pains and nearly drove them to insanity (Hp loss: 50). They were forced by the pychic forces to the computer terminals to sit n do the dreaded data-entry work that lasted for 4 hours straight (Hp loss 100 per hour). They would then suffer from sore eyes n back pains, wrist pains from the cramp sitting positions and become temporary retards until the ordeal ends... The brotherhood knew that they had to do something, X brought out an uneaten peanut (weapon status: special effect item) n cracked it open with great excertion (attack factor: infinite). Then she kept the nut n threw the shell at MoreWork with all her might.... It worked! The shells flew into MoreWork's open mouth and lodged in its throat; it couldnt cast anymore spells (hp left: nil, status: defeated)..... Now there were 2 others left.

HappyGoLucky stepped forth (attack level: 50, defense: 20, Hp:300). It tried to imitate MoreWork and started chanting for data-entry work again (attack factor: 80). Before it could finish one spell, Monkey Hell gave HappyGoLucky a killer stare (attack: 200hp) and shrugged of its puny attacks with the office telephone (attack: 300hp). HappyGoLucky was defeated (hp:0, status: defeated).... There is only one more left.... (to be continued)

Philosophical ramblings II
Hmm lemme change the topic to one which I truely can identify with-Philosophy, esp the branch called Existentialism. To those who see it for the first time, u only need to understand this question that clearly defines Existentialism, "Why do I exist?" . After months of monkey work (will continue story another time), I went for the Matrix Revolution movie and really felt like a person again. Hmm when was the last time I really enjoyed myself....doing something more 'normal'? I dun remember... then again when was the last time I did any shopping.....*mumbles and counts fingers.....sign

So anyway the action was much better than the 2nd one, and very thought-provoking.... Then my rusty brain suddenly jumped to life....thinking about the missing gaps in the story, how the parts fit...and most importantly it settled upon the question of my existence.... really my mind just generated thoughts at break-neck speed.... but it felt good though... The following thoughts are all my own, n if u dont subscribe to them, just read for fun...but at least i know these are MY truths.

"Why does one exists? Unfortunately no one has the answer to this deceptively simple question. There are many schools of thought out there yet no one can try to convince u which is correct. Cos your truth cannot be told to u, u must find your own truth n be at peace with ur own answers. What then is my truth....? Frankly I have always questioned my own purpose for existing.... Is there any purpose that I serve in this life? Can I make a difference in this world? What does life have in-store for me and my future. With these chaotic thoughts, I have tried to forge a purpose for me, a goal for my life....which I believed is to make a difference....leave a legacy... Cos I believed that I was a unique n special individual. As life progressed on, and what was formerly black and white became all grey...then these beliefs have to be modified...

I noticed that people are always seeking a reason for their existence, and most found their answers in religion. They believe that this life is a temporary stop to their journey to everlasting life in the other 'perfect world' and that if they follow through with the rituals n beliefs, they can justify their existence in this world and not question further cos they can move on to the other perfect world, where their existence is not questioned. Undeniably this is a good thing cos even if I do not subscribe to any religion, I believe that the core values of most religion preaches the good and condemns the bad. But unfortunately I do not subscribe to the other argument that we are brought into this world to go into the other world.... I have even questioned why does the other place exist? To house the pure souls...? Anyway who built it n for what purpose? I still strongly believe that things exist for a purpose......

Then there is another school of thought- that we each have a social obligation to fulifll in our lives, that if we each play our part, social harmony is maintained. The reason of one's existence is reduced to roles. eg the role of the father, son, son-in-law in the family, the role of the breadwinner, a worker in society. The successful fulfilment of one's multiple roles would have meant a meaningful existence. One where life is a set of responsibilities to be settled in one's lifetime. I feel that this is true to a certain extent on the micro-level, cos we are interlinked in society and bound by the rules of society. Hence to deviate from the social norm, would result in social problems. But is this reason enough to justify one's exisitence? Did I have a choice to decide what are the roles that I would want to take? No obviously, but does it mean that I wake up to life and then these roles define who I am. I have no higher purpose then to settle all these problems that came with life...and hopefully still found 'myself' admist all these... No. I still felt that there should be more....

Before I talk about what exactly is my truth, I want to mention one more group of people... They focus on the individual pursuits to justify their existence... For some, they do not even question why they exist, they seek to focus on the current life, pursuing, enjoying all that it offers. They might not even be aware that such existentialism exist... To them, they just indulge. Others seek to build monuments, be it a leagacy, an empire, achieve greatness and fame to fulfil the last of Marslow's hierarchy of need; Self-actualization. What is that? I would interpret it as another form of existentialism, which is to seek justifcation and reason for one's life. But sadly, this might just be a partial answer at most, becos the end-goal of this system of justification lies in pleasure, fame, achievements, which are temporial. When the event that gave us pleasure ends, we seek new forms of it; when we finally achieved greatness n riches, who is there to remember us after just 2 generations of people; who is there to say that we have led a most rewarding life...when we passed on? Where is my mark on this planet/society that would prove that I have existed? Sadly all these are transient in nature, and passes quickly....

What is my truth? After thinking n searching for a 'higher purpose' for years, I came upon my truth that seems very logical n real to me. Why do I exist? Well, simply there is no purpose for my existence. Humans have long broken free of Mother Nature's Laws, and have instead found means to manipulate the surroundings. Indeed we have gotten out of Nature's cycle of prey and predator, but are not truely freed, cos we have created our own social systems n norms to enslave ourselves. We need some system in-place to function otherwise what are we to do with the additional humans produced, if there is no way for them to 'fit-in' somewhere for some purpose?...That is why I genuinely believe that there is not much real reason to exist, I did not choose to be conscious and to live my life in this world...(this does not mean that I am sucidal n want to say goodbye)... It just seemed that I woke up, to find that I have to live a life. I have social roles n responsibilities, complex interactions that I am just born into. I have to live through my given lifespan n forge my own future...through my choices. I truely believe that even though I might not have chosen life, but living is one of choices, both conscious and unconscious. How do I make my choices? They are based on my personality which is formed from my judgement and knowledge of things. In my choices, I project a personality that defines the 'real' me. I choose 'yes' cos I have my beliefs and thinking that leans towards that choice, the same for choosing 'no'. If life was just a game of 'yes' n 'no', life would indeed be very easy, but unfortunately its not. We live in a very complex world, of social systems and human interactions. Of action and consequences. Very true indeed, whenever we make a choice; be it conscious or not, there lies a direct impact on our lives and an indirect impact that one cannot forsee.... if I choose to wear nicer clothes, immediately I feel good/broke, the future impact might be the change in dress sense, or even getting the attention of the opposite sex. We have no way of knowing the full extent or repercussions of our every action. Then how do I define my existence....? For one, there is no purpose in exisiting in the first place but there might be reasons to justify one's existence when 'living' the life that has been given. If u r the lucky ones, who already subscribe to the earlier reasons, good. But for me, I am still searching by forging through life, though choices get clouded n difficult, that I may find my real self, a genuine reason to define that I have existed in this world before. -------------------------------------------Yenn Hellbound

Hmm my verdict on the Hoegarden beer I had last sat, is that it is nice. Smooth like the Tiger draught of Equinox. But the alot of gas, which is okay given I drink lots of Coke. *grins. Thnks Quetzal's Wind for the treat, though not necessary, but still nice anyway. Wish u all the best!

Continuation of the adventures of the Temp Brotherhood of the Monkeys......
The last time we left off, the temp brotherhood had just started on their perilous journey.... Monkey Hell n X got acquainted when they were thrown into the same monkey cage, after Monkey Hell started her solidatory journey, swinging there after being told by a light (yup the voice in your head type) that she was to be meet someone there. They founded the brotherhood, to stay sane inspite of the dangers that they face, and started towards Mt HeeheeHahaha.... Along the way, they tried to convert zombies, monkeys into the brotherhood, by preaching of the Great Peanut n Banana out there, in the wild compared to the small measley peanuts in the zoo.

Meanwhile the Great One Eye (bigger supervisor), near the potted plant-who sees and notice all who do n dont do work, is worried... The temp brotherhood are surviving admist the insanity thrown upon them, they are gaining followers and popularity. He calls forth his two minions (supervisors), Fatigue n Boredom, and orders them to disintegrate the Brotherhood who are threatening status quo. Onward they flew, menancingly. They assembled their own minions (yup that is delegation-3 baboons MoreWork, HappyGoLucky n KPOcumEternalPMS) n sent them over also... but to intercept the Brotherhood at earlier parts of the journey while they themselves set up some posts at the later part of the journey. Well when Fatigue n Boredom set up tent, they happily went about holidaying n picnicing n sunbathing.....

Meanwhile the 3 baboons, racing at top speed, caught up with the Brotherhood.......(to be continued)

You are the Figher Femme


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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No wonder I'm still single. But nice pic though...

Great, just yesterday I was contemplating quitting my monkey job, then last nite my application to Deutsche Bank is rejected.. okay still nvm then this morning after taking the 'talent test' by Stantercharted, I got this page that says "Sorry compared to ur peers, u are considered less successful....thank u for ur interest...blah blah" BLOODY HELL! hey they just based their assessment on that crap of personality test...Excuse me but doesnt brains or other skills matter anymore in this day and age?!? I didnt even have a chance to try out their numerical test.....#%(_#&!*
I went ahead and sent them a protest email.....hope to Hear from them real soon.....as if....

Hey this type of online applications for management trainees by large corporations are really becoming a big joke at the expense of poor candidates like me. We scour the net, signing up hoping for a chance to get recognized and be employed then the recruiters throw this type of smoke-bombs and crap at us. Hey We are just honest graduates okay who studied hard and put in tremendous efforts, not to mention blood, sweat, tears and even our eyesight for that piece of paper. And the biggest joke is that when we go into the job market, all wide-eyed and hopeful with dreams, we are treated worst than some of the low-life....sign I must be too stressed already, too many negative things in one week..... "Yup, welcome to the real world baby!" I dunno if others feel the same but Why is it so bloody hard to get a perm job? Actually contract jobs are a plenty...but in view of perm job openings, I've forgone some....I guess next time, I dont keep my hopes at all and just accept anything that is decent so long as its not illegal.

This week has really been one of the ultimate XIAN- with a capital X one of my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......................which might not last any longer if I am really insane enough to continue working. (if u r wondering why? Cos I took Kheldar's test on 'How sucidal r u?' and the result says that I am likely to commit sucide the next moment....sign) I guess in another 2 weeks, I will be officially unemployed! Yeah!

Well to begin, today was like yesterday.... early in the morning already in 'hot demand', asked to do this, do that.... Still feeling okay then...then go into the room...then hear one of the elder monkey nag and nag non-stop....my ears hurt....and i am really tempted to tell her to shut her trap! Then they switched off the radio that i was using as a distraction from my growing irritation..... (no wonder I am angst feeling, courtesy of another Kheldar's test)...I exchanged written notes with the other temp n mentioned that I would 'put' on my blackest face and see if anyone dare to piss me off...... no it seems.
Until it was like 3 mins to lunch....cos we were waiting for the clock to struck the magical time of twelve, then some of those apes in the same room just call us, telling us to go outside to do work....that really did it!...Why? Cos they were chatting themselves happily, dont wanna to go out too....then just find convenient people to call out....Just tell them that we were going for lunch already...but really when I got back, my mood was super foul..... Monkey J, who is a hardworking collegue or so it seems but she hides her feelings and thoughts....yet want to find out what others are thinking etc....want in on others secrets....etc, smiled at me, but i stared back.....and just went n do my work....I am in no mood to 'entertain' anyone anymore. Then I got stiff neck and felt sleepy so I tilt my head to my right while typing.....then she asked me why I do that.. I replied 'cos I Xain wat...' She gave me a look like warning me that the Supervisor is nearby, but I dont care.

Despite what others think of me, I am a person WITH feelings.....and if I dont like something, I am entitled to my thoughts and views. So if I find work xian, I will say that it is Xian! but I will still do my job inspite of what I feel..... But there is a point where I cannot surpress my feelings anymore. I cannot just pretend that things are okay and live with the lie....I can try to surpress the unhappiness or try to solve the problem. But when it reaches the stage that I have to constantly remind myself not to quit... the reasons why I am working etc....then it seems that if I deny this feeling that is threatening to explode, it feels as though I am killing myself from the inside, slowly becoming 'Numb'. At least I wanna be truthful to myself. It seems that my mind is made up with regards to this monkey job, I will definitely not be around in December. The only thing needed now is the fuse that would cause the explosion......

Hmm decide to digress from the normal incidents to more current ones. In fact these just happened very recently....

Hmm monkey hell is learning quickly about 'monkey (people)-relationship', 'peanut (power) struggle' etc. It seems that each monkey in Zoo No 2 keep their dislike to themselves until the party is not there, then mouth and start condemning them (monkey-stabbing). The undercurrent runs deep that on the surface, it is just a normal zoo with happy monkeys performing tricks gladly for measley peanuts. Then over time as the monkeys 'feel' that u can be trusted, or u suay to be the neutral, mind-your-own-biz type or even back-ground furniture, then they start talking in your prescence. Sometimes the accusations are downright stupid n u feel they just chatter for the sake of complaining. But some are just groundless accusations or genuine complaints that cannot seek redress... Or some just start opening up n pour forth their woes to you (no wonder monkey hell is sucidal.... ;P)

But at least monkey hell is acquainted with another temp monkey, X, who has suffered the crap for a longer time and together they founded the 'Temp' Monkey Brotherhood, seeking to go on a perilous quest to Mt HeeheeHahah to 'evolve' into human form using the Big Banana. It is a dangerous journey that would see them trying to overcome the twin evils of work- Fatigue and Boredom, survive surprise attacks from all sorts of insane creatures that guard the zoo compound feriousciously and litter the path to sanity. Together under the blessing of the One Peanut, will they survive to reach the Great Banana or suscumb to become mindless zombies.....(to be continued)

Incident #2
-This happened shortly after incident one, and involve the same parties.

Lalalalah (music in the background) monkey hell was working when secured bins were delivered for mail disposal. So from then on, no more boxes to use for waste disposal but have to slot waste paper into teeny weeny opening slot. So since monkey hell was the only temp, so slotting job went to her Again. (yup like that was a surprise, no need sherlock holmes to deduce that)

Just her luck that she had to slot two boxes full of papers on that day, so she started doing it (minding her own biz, doing it quickly) A n Good collegue were sitting near to her when she started...

Good collegue: (jokingly) Hey monkey hell, dun need to slot so fast lah, can take ur time loh. Then no need to look for more things to do later mah. Try slotting one piece at a time instead of such a thick pile.....
MonkeyHell: nah nvm, i'll just try to finish quickly.
A:(interuppted) U think temp $$$ so easily to earn meh? (definitely directed at me, no one asked for her opinion)
MonkeyHell: (go n f**k yourself u bloody bitch &#@#$@$) .... (continued doing quickly, then finished in twenty mins)

Verdict: There is definitely some kind of animosity between her n monkey hell though monkey hell did not know why, when or how she ever offended A. She learnt that there are always psychotic, PMS bitches out there in the real world who do not care about the negative impact of their thoughtless words n actions. Again no need to get angry, learn to direct anger positively (by labeling them appropriate names until u r promoted to higher than them, then if they still bully lower personnels, discipline them with your newfound authority, cos unlikely that they will change their behaviour without 'help' from higher authority...."its payback time")

Incident 3
-On one friday, Monkey hell was told abruptly that she will be transferred to Office 2 with effect from next week. She welcomed the news, to get away from the lack of work n A who is such a pain in the ass. A collegue told her about rumour that the Big Boss wanted to observe how monkey hell performed her tricks(tasks), might want to give her Supervisor post. Guessed the rest heard about the conversation. Monkey hell did not believe rumour but is glad to be going to new environment, to do more tricks????

Later, Good collegue n A came up, hinting that after lunch they have something to give me. Monkey hell went out to lunch with another nice collegue. When she returned, got some food from expensive coffee place- pie n dessert. Monkey hell thanked both parties (though she believed that Good collegue paid for the food, n silently cursed A, cos even if A paid for it, is not enough to forgive her for the hurt n anger caused by her thoughtless words n monkey hell did not expect to be given anything nor has she expressed that she wanted anything in return for her short stay). Then A asked why monkey hell not eating, saying that she esp asked for the pie to be heated....(like she is genuinely concerned) and monkey hell replied that will eat later cos just had full lunch.

Later A asked if monkey hell knew how to go to Office 2, n the office number. Other collegues also offered to tell monkey hell how to go there. Monkey hell accepted the advise n info, but noted the sudden change in attitude of A. At the end of the day, though monkey hell was sorely tempted to tell A in her face what she thot of her exactly, but resisted the temptations, cos it was pointless to argue or be seen as unreasonable etc...

So off monkey hell swinged, climbing from branches to branches towards the new Zoo (office) towards uncertain tricks n future...pondering if the peanut would be bigger at the other side or would she have to do even more tricks for the same peanut?

Lesson: No use leaving all grievances to be aired on the last day of work, cos just keeping it all pent up for so long is bad for your mental health. Burning your bridges after crossing them is not the way unless u r not going to see these jokers/monkeys/bitches/pms assholes for the rest of your life. But if u might still be working with them in the future, there is nothing u can do but instead focus on the positive aspects eg coming back as gorrilla (supervisor).

Introd
Today I start off by giving a short introd as to why the term 'monkey' is used in my stories. Well it is a well-known finance maxim that 'if u pay peanuts, u get monkeys.' I found it very amusing when I first learnt it but only recently began to appreciate its simple yet universal truth.

Well as a temp currently, I am paid only S$6.00 per hr and still have to contribute CPF, food and transport so what I have in the end can only be appropriately termed 'measley', or 'peanuts'. Then the job scope is very routine; dull n boring, mostly manual labour and data-entry. Hence termed 'menial' or 'brainless' or 'zombie' work. It was only recently that I started using the term 'monkey work', inspired after a sms exchange with Krynnder, with us coining the term 'performing monkey work in XYZ zoo'. Why is it a zoo? U might want to ask, well becos of all the wierd n funny personalities u encounter, moreover it is a jungle out there in the working world, where back-stabbing, one-man uppership, chest-beating, survival of the fittess or oscar-winning performances rendered by slackers....etc. it really has been an eye-opener for me. I shall try to present the incidents in chronological order, for some, i was involved, but for others, i am just a spectator, but nevertheless, my short working experience has REALLY been one hell of a rollercoaster ride....

Incident 1: starring Monkey Hell(me) n A
-Background: Monkey Hell had just worked for 3 weeks in ABC co in office 1 but did not interact much with A who was hospitalized. Hence Monkey Hell got along quite well with the rest after proving to be a good but quiet n shy worker. This incident happened in the week that A came back. The co had some cost measures implemented, that perms asked to go off earlier, but monkey hell not told to do so. So A got pretty sore. (it affected their salary as OT cut)

One day while in the same room with the rest of the collegues, including monkey hell, she said out loud, "I dont understand why perms must leave earlier, why dont they ask ahem ahem to leave instead? Not enough work to go around....I'm going to ask Supervisor tom...." But she was hushed up by the rest of the collegues. Monkey hell felt demoralized, 'if got better things to do, u think i want to snatch your measley ricebowl meh?' she thought. She was fuming also at this betrayal and outright unfair remark for the work that she has done, mostly with best efforts even if she did not enjoyed the work. Later....nearing lunchtime, a nice collegue came up to monkey hell, n tried to console her saying that A did not meant what she said, (so i guess all the collegues present knew n heard what A said so bluntly), how A was a direct person who speaks her mind. (But it was stilll a damming statement). Later monkey hell consulted agent on solution to this problem, n was told to ignore A. (that didnt stop me from labelling A a bitch)

Well as Heaven is really fair, later A was infuriated the Supervisor by questioning the temp job as well as some other perm issues, that the supervisor later held a meeting the next day to clarify certain issues (but no temp issue came up), When he asked if anyone wanted to clarify anything else more, no one esp A spoke up. So case closed. But from then on A had a condemming attitude towards monkey hell n does not mince her words. (more in future incidents)

The Lesson learnt: if encounter such bitches, do not be unduely affected by their thoughtless remarks. Anger generated by them if directed towards proper means can help one achieve even greater success. And not blowing up the issue and by ignoring (be viewed as the victim) is sometimes the best way for the issue to die down. Which when it does, only serve to enhance your standing and embarass the tormentor.

Some Philosophical Ramblings
Hmm nowadays I am very preoccupied with alot of issues. My mind drift aimlessly through the chaotic thoughts that I have; from money issues, career, my status as a "monkey" earning peanuts, to the next step to take in my life. Sadly I have not reached any inspirational conclusion to my uncertain future. I feel as though I am drifting aimlessly, but I am aware that I do not want to live my life in this manner. I do not want to be caught up in this routine; where one lives each day in the same manner as the one before. Catch the same bus, walk the same route, do the same repetitive work and even have the same lunch. I seek something else but I cannot express what I am seeking. I will know when I finally find it. (Inspired by Matrix or is it just me?)

These incidents are actual people I encounter in my temp work, in ABC company now. First off, after graduation, I have been trying to get a job so as not to add to the unemployment statistic in Spore, as well as serve that bloody 3 yr bond. Sign...sadly things are not to be and I only managed a temp job. Well I have been relating some incidents to my friends and they told me that I can write a mgt book on 'Monkeys and Me, Working in a Corporation' or 'The things they didnt tell ya about working life'. Great idea, now I only need to get started and get a publisher to notice my work...... The next great self-help guru is here! (Only that she doesnt know how to help herself. *Note that she is still working at ABC company as a monkey earning peanuts). Okay I'll start in the next entry.

Well, hi. My first attempt at a blog. Name is Yenn Hellbound.

To start off, I just recovered from a bout of food poisoning. Just picture this, one min you are doing your work in the office and the clock just showed ten, and for the next agonizing half hour, u suffer from cramps, wanting to puke. And before eleven, u have rushed out of office and landed in the nearest toilet, wishing that u dont have to take the bloody public transport home cos u dont know whether u can make it back without leaking.....*sign....I wished that toilet would fly me home instead....anyway I dont want to remember how I ever made it home. Then I found out that my whole family is afflicted, must have been the dinner. Dunno why it didnt acted up until u are in the office.... Anyway feeling better now.