Before I start, wont tag others, cos my number of friends who blog can be counted with one hand.
Now I am still at home, proscrasinating what time to head off to work. I have a admin thing to clear plus the piles of books. But stomach is often unstable plus I havent eaten lunch yet. So think will be near 11am then I reluctantly make my way over. Hmm today stocks market going up, just put in 1 sell order, though I would like to keep that particular shares longer but then capital levels are very very low, so better realize some gains to put at rest certain anxieties and to buffer against certain unexpected events eg Right Issues
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1) Its a well-publicized fact (by Tab) that I have to cover myself with a blanket irregardless of the weather to fall asleep. Also have to put a bolster over both eyes and use it to cover both ears too. Would prefer to sleep in a dark, soundproof room.
2) In secondary and through JC, I was in Chess Club playing both Chinese and International chess. Through going to competitions, it built up my resilence, mental strength plus trains this Poker face thingy. There was a guy whom I admired but nothing came out of it as didnt say anything or do anything. So besides friendship plus the fact that after JC didnt see him anymore. Now though 'found' him but he is attached already. Though I think I still wont say anything cos still dun think I have become attractive in the eyes of the male though I have changed alot since those days.
3) Up until JC, I still have guy friends. In fact, in secondary, most friends I have are guys. That changed when I went to Uni and later NEI plus now in Education. All that I seem to meet are girls. Though, through their influences I have changed in appearances and gained more EQ? But I still somewhat remained whom I was, a tomboy at heart, a rebel, rockster at heart?
4) The first foray into guitar was in Uni Year 1-2? It was an enjoyable period of learning. The whole group of us bought budget guitars (though I was the only one whom bought the acoustic one initially) then weekly lessons with simple songs plus travelling downt to Bukit Merah to learn. Cos the metal strings were far from the fret, I remembered playing until my fingers turned purple and the pain last for 2days. When a music shop opened in Ginza several years back, I went and asked them to reset the fret so that the strings are closer to the fret so its much better. Then on and off, played here and there. Wasnt satisfied with just playing chords so tried a bit of melody on my own but still not good enough. After graduation, its been 6 years since, 3 years after Yamaha, I finally enrolled in another Music school and have been attending Guitar lessons faithfully for 3months+ I hope to stick through until I passed Advanced then move onto Electric Guitar.
5) Working experience were 1.5years tutor, 4months HCSB, 6months Shitty Bank, then 10 months contract teaching, 1 year NEI then full-fledged 2.5 years Educator whose bond is ending soon. Looking back, its a difficult experience. Looking back at earlier posts in those years, work was the means to CLEARING off the 1) Tuition Grant Bond - 3 years and later 2) NEI Bond - 3 years. Though there was an overlap. Also finaces not strong enough to consider not working. Those years, I saved dilligently and resolutely. NOW I have to say finaces are better. Work is still a MAIN source of income but I wont die in the short-term without one. Hope to take a break inspite of the recessionary environment, or prolong until the payout. That is something I am still considering.
6) Health wise, I have not been a healthy individual since young. Plus both parents have Major diseases eg Heart attack, High blood pressure. Given such genetic tendencies, was rather fit until 2-3 years back. Now I am trying to move back to those 'golden' days of fittness. Its achievable but I just need to put in the time and hard work.
7) I do know some office politics though I choose not to use it. Try to avoid if I can. Though if you let me see those BITCHES in ShittyBank, I would give them the finger. I dun want to rise, I just want to be me.
8) I used to be an ambitious and focused person all through my studies. But work has tampered that to one who is happier with an uncomplicated life. Instead now I want more Personal Time, Personal Space to grow.
9) Got my Poems account in 2004, first trade in 2008 July. Since then numerous trades. Want to test my judgement, my investment methods and my resolution. Want to make an alternative source of income that can almost rival my income source.
10) My chronic problem has gotten worse in recent years. Its another reason for the move away from work to just resting and recovering. Also a spur to make an alternative source of income instead. Seeking treatment but things remain to be seen.
11) Single and still single. The paradox of 'Is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved before' Well not everyone is meant to be happily married with kids. Though I must admit being single meant I have more time for myself and family. Being not an easy person, I am unsure if marriage is for me.
12) Was almost expelled from Primary school due to 2 incidents, though I feel that its more of an empty threat. Cos got into trouble with the dental nurse and didnt greet the P well so kena marked? Those were seriously minor things and such a big fuss that it left 2 dark marks and lots of fear on my memories of Primary school life. Fuck, if I ever see them agian, I will give them the finger too!
13) Secondary school was more liberating, more subjects, CCA exposure, more things that I tried eg compete in school sport events.
14) JC was not as enjoyable as Sec cos of the rich and not-rich cliques very much around in ACJC. Plus certain friend try to influence me with Christanity, not that I have anything against the religion but I am against the way they try to influence me to convert. But I walked out of there, still a free thinker, though by their definition, I'll be heading to hell.
15) Though I am not those who goes easily for cute stuff, there are the occasional few that made it to my heart, eg Monoko, Maplestory mushroom and Shetland dog and the occasional kittens.
16) I like the feeling of wind in my face. I enjoy the breeze on a windy day, the breeze when one travels with the window down in a car. Its a feeling of freedom and inner peace. Wish that I could experience more of that.
17) Am a rather philosophical person since young. I would ponder about certain issues and examine it in a very philosophical manner, so much so, did rather well when I took Philosophy as a cross-fac module. Though over the years, instead of a thinker, I have become more action than talk and reflection. It was a conscious change that I wanted to do it and experience it instead of carry out the process in my head.
18) My hair is J-rockish in nature. Based on the hair-style of Aoi of The Gazette whom I really like, more over than Gackt, cos of his playing style and the melodies he play. Really eye-candy. Plus the fact that the hair style really suits me, been cutting that for the past year plus. Intend to keep to it unless I got new inspiration.
19) Havent dyed my hair since 2004 Aug. The last dye was a double dye using one colour, brown though it turned fairly golden. Man, I miss my GOLDEN locks. Think will look even coolor with the J-rock hair. Another incentive to leave this job, so that I can finally dye it. Feel so rebel at heart.
20) Likes to try new things, especially food. If there is meatball pasta and escargot pasta, chances are I would try the latter just for the heck of it. What's life without a bit of excitement in the life. How can one go through life, not eating an escargot? Its blasphemy!
21) Like to learn new things, be it new songs on the guitar, new boardgames. It doesnt mean that I wont practice older stuff, its just that once mastered, one should move onto new stuff, so that can continue learning and things dont get stale.
22) Hate routines cos I should be the master of my time. Though routines serve certain purposes, NOT everything has to be a routine. What I learn is my choice, what I want to do in my free time is my choice. Get it?
23) Becoming more supersitious. Now I try consciously NOT to shake my leg cos it shakes away the luck for wealth. Also avoid eating Beef cos it kinda clashes with my luck aspect. I wanna tio my 4D and Toto now asap, not defer it cos I been itchy-mouth to avoid beef.
24) Enjoy watching Documentary be it about ancient architecture, animals, modern sciences, the reason being, one learns new things and expands knowledge. Though nobody is going to judge your knowledge at my age cos no longer in school but its a pleasant way to get new knowledge. Starhub cable tv, Education is really a good group. Of course, I tamper with my diet of 'LA Ink', CSI, Crime and Investigation, MTVs. Too much brainy stuff can drain the brain too.
25) Do worry sometimes about growing old and dying but then would one have really lived just by going through the motions of life without doing things one really, truly wanted? Or would a shorter but more colourful life be more enjoyable? Getting philosophical again. I would want to try things I really want to do, go places where I really want to go. Then that is being alive though hopefully reality eg finaces and work dun catch up.
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