Think there's some flu bug going around and I caught it around Monday evening. Maybe it's the haze the week before. But by tuesday evening, was alternating between normal n lousy throughtout the day. But as it was the last session of assignment just before exam, I took a 15min nap and felt better to make my way down.
Wednesday was slightly better, thought I was recovering. Tried to sleep earlier. By Thursday, I felt quite zonked out by late afternoon. Had a headache developing, more zombified. Went to see doc in the evening but declined taking mc.
Friday, I started being quite okay, thanks to medication n rest. But after 4th, where again my temper meter went up cos collegue 'ask me stupid stuff' and can't tell me what she want clearly, felt worn out. Decided not to think or do anything besides finish off what's on hand.
As I had agreed two weeks earlier to attend another level's monthly party. Somrhing like show them face once since they tried to invite me twice already... But that meant $66... I chose to drink cos I know that San Migel draught beer would be free-flow for 2 hrs. Cos if not drinking, got to pay $55 for generally lousy n cheap food. It's like the non-drinkers subsidize the drinkers. So after doing some math, $10 for food. Left $56 which translates to 7 mugs of beer. In general, a mug of draught beer can cost $9-11.
I had to wait around at workplace cos though I knock off at 5pm, it was slated for 7pm. I killed time by hanging around the kitchen, watching n chatting with a collegue while she bakes her cakes. My flu flared up some. I was very stoned. Brain really shut down though I am still functional plysically. Then around 6.45pm, I went down to my work station and found almost everybody gone... I realized they had mostly left together so I walked over there by myself. The pub is very near to Clementi stadium. I could see them walking about 100m ahead of me. So while walking, I kept asking myself WHY the hell I ever opened my mouth to agree. Cos literally feel like shit, plus extended my day of sort, cos this whole week, I tio about 10hrs of computer lab duty which actually eats into my free periods. Also though I could surf the net, just need to keep an eye on that few students, I couldn't do anything too productive. That's why this entire week seem so long. Like never-ending.
Anyway I reached there and sat at an empty seat right smack in the middle of guys. They also seem to follow this 'rigid' way of ladies one side, guys one side. I just sat where it's not too unpleasant for me, cos actually this whole week, the 2 new female collegues have been pushing my "irritation button" by either asking me really stupid stuff or using extremely vague and strange English to sort of 'tell' me what they wNt me to do in their classes when I go into theirs. But dunno why, though they actually stay n work in Eng-speaking countries, when they work here, suddenly their English regresses so much until I can't make out what is it they are trying to tell me in the vague, round-about manner. I literally have to be a psychic to guess out what they want... AND that really irks me. My temper wasn't so good especially when I am unwell already. Then asking or telling such 'stupid' things really drives me nuts. I snap at them the few times they did so. So I decided not to sit near the two ladies to give myself time out n also not to have to spoil anything by snapping when they unknowingly push my "buttton". Think that was the best choice of the day.
Dinner food wasn't fantastic. Fried rice, smoked duck breast like the one I bought from seng siong, potatoe wedges, a tray of assorted fried dumplings, fish cake. IF I had to pay $55 for this, I would be grossly overpaying. Hence that's why I decided to drink. To help with the calories, I had lor mee n coffee in the morning, Plain pork porridge for lunch.
I dug in and for the first time, eat dinner with beer. I don't eat dinner while drinking, maybe for liquor but not for beer. Also usually alcoholic drinks come after dinner. Then had some conversations here n there. Mostly collegues ask about why I become teacher, quit teaching, ask about family. Cos these are not so personal topics, so I just tell them frankly. Though I did ask them about similar stuff.
When they wanted to refill my partially drunk beer, I told them I would after I've drunk more cos I wanna keep count, to know and test my limit. The Aussie collegues were quite chatty and funny at times. But I've realized, for all thr insistence on getting free flow of beer, they don't really drink that much. As in, they don't hi the value they are paying. Plus its obvious they are ripped off cos they don't let us locals or Aussies help negotiate n plan such parties. There are so many fantastic deals a budget of $70 can fetch yet they just settle
for such. Leaves us sighing at times. Think it would be much cheaper just to order ala-carte n happy hour. Still pay much lesser.
After it ended, I've finished 6-7 mugs of draught beer in the 2 hrs of free flow. So got my money's worth. I was tipsy but can still think, walk in straight line, no spinning world. Can feel the alcohol but not as strong as other times when I drank alot of spirits or Martinis. Walked home after and reached home in 10minutes. It was unexpectedly more enjoyable than some ofthe other parties I've been to, think it's cos I've talked more, the beer tastes good too plus I got the value for it - for a change. Whether I would go for another, mostly no unless it's a value proposition.
I reached home and drank 2 cups of water n was too full to drink the soup my mom made. Then I changed and slept. With the amount of alcohol, I had a good night's sleep. Slept through until I woke up naturally at 8.30am!
Was feeling okay, went over to buy breakfast but after that, felt sickly. Like the flu flaring up. Ate meds and rested until guitar. But after guitar, flu flared up again. I thought of killing time by watching a movie. After lunch at PO-MO, I actually walked over to the Cathay. But headache starting up and alternating light-headedness n heavy-headedness. Decided to go home instead.
Reached home, ate meds and lie in bed. My mind is alert and can't fall asleep but kept sweating. My mom said I dragged on too long, didn't let body rest enough. It's a pity I can't head out or stay out longer. Will miss the Halloween signts n dinner but really don't think I would want to wear the same outfit even if I am not sick.
Would just want a simple meal to catch up but not have to 'kill' so many hours waiting for the meal. Maybe cos I want my weekends to last longer, so I prefer to be out more in the rapier afternoon. More hours to do things before dinner.
If I am at home, just meet for dinner, I also find that it shortens time. Cos I can't make any plans inbetween dinner time. Rather meet for lunch or around tea time. Still have time to do other stuff then wait until dinner and after dinner to walk around.
Then if I am already out, it's even worst. Got so many hours to kill. At least 4-5hrs in town, alone. What is there to do, that would interest n occupy me for that long? It's very difficult in my normal physical state. Can't go gym cos no public ones that near. Go home and come out again is a very time-wasting and tiring thing. Spend 1hr to go back then shortly have to travel 1hr out again. I won't make it out of the house, too much effort. Shopping doent occupy nor interest me much. I don't like to browse too long hours at bookshop nor can I read properly in a cafe. I don't see the merits of sitting at a cafe to just play I-touch or people watch for 4hrs. Nor just settling for a movie to while away time. I would rather have the time to either rest, exercise at gym or practice guitar. All which requiresme to be at my area. Though I make the effort to come out. Having to while away several hours alone, doing things that don't really appeal to me, is q waste of time, effort n by the time, I am mentally n physically tired cos doing all those is taxing.
A Sat is a precious day. Make full use of the morning, afternoon and evening hours to do something useful, relaxing n enjoyable. Not wait until evening to start. From 7pm until 10pm, it's just 3 hrs before everywhere is closing. Then really nothing much to do except eating or drinking. A bit more then it's midnight, and it's over. I wanna stretch it out by enjoying the morning with breakfast, free n easy hours until it's time for guitar. Though I sometimeswinder why I put so much effort to go down for it but after it, there's many more hours to do things before evening arrives. On days, I can even go gym by 5pm-6pm and finsih by 7-8pm. Still have a few hours to watch tv, read manga, relax before it's time to sleep. That's an ideal.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Time and Effort Dilemma
Last night I was typing this very long passage about the above dilemna but lost it when I tried to post it. Here's a repost.
The time and effort dilemma exist for everybody. It manifests very acutely at work. On a 2x2 matrix, there is the 4 matrixes,
more time, less effort more time, more effort
less time, less effort less time, more effort
For most of us, we are paid a salary for putting in effort and time at work. If one could put in lesser time and lesser effort and yet be paid the same, it would bring about more satisfaction. Cos we would perceive that we are getting a better deal. Then how to bring about putting in less time and effort. This comes about by being efficient. It would mean having to commit lesser hours and lesser effort to the job. Methods of efficiency differs, be it a systematic one or it could be personal eg priortise tasks, a to-do list, breaking task down into small steps and doing, filing and doing things a bit at a time. There are many of these little things one can do to 'help yourself'. So consequentially we end up with spending lesser time and effort. Though pay didnt increase, its being paid the same for less. Job satisifaction increase of sorts.
My previous job at MOE had me working at the more time, more effort matrix. Though my salary was higher, everything else is more. I value my personal time but had to put in long hours and working intensely. Couldnt continue on with that type infinitely. Job satisfaction was low cos I felt salary-wise, doesnt compensate me enough for all that I am doing. Decided I need a rest from burning out.
My current job meant I had to take a pay-cut. Its quite a bit of paycut of several hundred dollars and also less bonus. Only 1 month compared to the previous of at least 2-2.5 months. The trade-off is the lesser effort involved. The hours are longer but still end earlier enough in the day, like office hours. Also I have free time in the working hours unlike previously. So there is some satisfaction from just the pure effort-time matrix. But the whole matrix shifts to the left due to the lowered salary.
I decided to expend some time and effort outside of work to derive added income. It meant I had to put in extra hours and effort thrice weekly. It wasnt easy at all. Could feel the fatique and tiredness. But bo bian, its my decision to do it to make the extra money. Whether one is able to put in extra time and effort depends partly on your job, whether there are available hours and also personally, whether you can and will make the time. Definitely money wont drop in the lap without some exchange of time and effort. There's no free or easy lunch.
Luckily for me, I have my investments, which helps me generate some extra income. I had to put in some extra time and effort to monitor them daily, make decisions daily. But I dont take any short-cuts. Its not really possible to realize gains if I just take the so-called easy way of "listening to what other people say and tell me". I do my own research and make my own decisions. I want to make gains NOT lose my capital. So just meant more time and effort.
With the 3 income streams, I actually almost matched my previous Nett salary. Definitely not able to match the Gross salary yet. The rest depends on the stock market. Whether I can sell off and realize the profits. Though at times I ask myself, why is it that I had to do 3 of these just so I could match my previous income? Why not just stick to one and enjoy the same income level. The matter of fact is that I dont think I could continue on at my previous job. Its too much time and effort that left me in a perpetual zombie mode, grumpy and dissatisfied. At least though I needed 3 income just to match, but overall I am happier in a sense. I dont really think I would be able to manage my investments along side the job.
But as fatique catches up with me from the extra time and effort, I do find myself wishing for my job to pay more, so I dont have to do the assignments. Next year, I might just be doing one instead of current two. It meant halving the income. I could try to live with lowered income of sort. Even with investments, investment gains realised are never certain. Depends on market conditions. So if my main stable job gives me more, can reduce the time and effort on others.
Its the same dilemma for other stuff. Things like exercising, learning a course, learning an instrument, going out. All of them requires extra time and effort. It seems the only things that dont really requires that are watching tv and sleeping. That's why many of us do it mostly on weekends. There's still time but really much much less effort. Just too bad those 2 activities dont pay us monetarily. Also they dont count for anything when looking back at one's life. There's no sense of accomplishment nor is there any skills gathered. Furthermore doing these meant clashing with work - time and effort. All these whittle down personal time.
I have quite a bit on my plate and something gave. I gave up tv and gaming. I only watch tv on weekends and its only to watch recorded cable tv shows at one go. Then I havent gamed on my PS2 in years. Even my PSP is neglected. On public transport, I find myself listening to mp3 more than playing games.
To sum it all up, at least for me. " The worthwhile things are the ones that requires time and effort." No free lunch, easy way out. Sometimes the 'easiest way' is just to start something in small steps and continue and persisting. Doing a bit a day, meant accumulation starts. Over time surely there is something more tangible at the end. Yet due to time-energy constraints, its best to do a few things that one can manage, then priortise and do. A schedule helps. Surely at times, some lapses here and there but overall still a more positive picture.
I have work stuff to do during work hours. I am having more and more to do but I try to clear them during work hours, not bring back home. I still have the holiday work syndrome. Easier to segregate work and personal life this way. At work I file my stuff and clear things as quickly as I can. Trying to work smart so that I can enjoy the free time to do other stuff.
Though now, my weekdays are finally freed up. Glad for the lax. Need to rest my tired and a bit sickly body. On the weekly agenda includes - exercise 2 times, practice guitar, monitor stocks and rest.
The time and effort dilemma exist for everybody. It manifests very acutely at work. On a 2x2 matrix, there is the 4 matrixes,
more time, less effort more time, more effort
less time, less effort less time, more effort
For most of us, we are paid a salary for putting in effort and time at work. If one could put in lesser time and lesser effort and yet be paid the same, it would bring about more satisfaction. Cos we would perceive that we are getting a better deal. Then how to bring about putting in less time and effort. This comes about by being efficient. It would mean having to commit lesser hours and lesser effort to the job. Methods of efficiency differs, be it a systematic one or it could be personal eg priortise tasks, a to-do list, breaking task down into small steps and doing, filing and doing things a bit at a time. There are many of these little things one can do to 'help yourself'. So consequentially we end up with spending lesser time and effort. Though pay didnt increase, its being paid the same for less. Job satisifaction increase of sorts.
My previous job at MOE had me working at the more time, more effort matrix. Though my salary was higher, everything else is more. I value my personal time but had to put in long hours and working intensely. Couldnt continue on with that type infinitely. Job satisfaction was low cos I felt salary-wise, doesnt compensate me enough for all that I am doing. Decided I need a rest from burning out.
My current job meant I had to take a pay-cut. Its quite a bit of paycut of several hundred dollars and also less bonus. Only 1 month compared to the previous of at least 2-2.5 months. The trade-off is the lesser effort involved. The hours are longer but still end earlier enough in the day, like office hours. Also I have free time in the working hours unlike previously. So there is some satisfaction from just the pure effort-time matrix. But the whole matrix shifts to the left due to the lowered salary.
I decided to expend some time and effort outside of work to derive added income. It meant I had to put in extra hours and effort thrice weekly. It wasnt easy at all. Could feel the fatique and tiredness. But bo bian, its my decision to do it to make the extra money. Whether one is able to put in extra time and effort depends partly on your job, whether there are available hours and also personally, whether you can and will make the time. Definitely money wont drop in the lap without some exchange of time and effort. There's no free or easy lunch.
Luckily for me, I have my investments, which helps me generate some extra income. I had to put in some extra time and effort to monitor them daily, make decisions daily. But I dont take any short-cuts. Its not really possible to realize gains if I just take the so-called easy way of "listening to what other people say and tell me". I do my own research and make my own decisions. I want to make gains NOT lose my capital. So just meant more time and effort.
With the 3 income streams, I actually almost matched my previous Nett salary. Definitely not able to match the Gross salary yet. The rest depends on the stock market. Whether I can sell off and realize the profits. Though at times I ask myself, why is it that I had to do 3 of these just so I could match my previous income? Why not just stick to one and enjoy the same income level. The matter of fact is that I dont think I could continue on at my previous job. Its too much time and effort that left me in a perpetual zombie mode, grumpy and dissatisfied. At least though I needed 3 income just to match, but overall I am happier in a sense. I dont really think I would be able to manage my investments along side the job.
But as fatique catches up with me from the extra time and effort, I do find myself wishing for my job to pay more, so I dont have to do the assignments. Next year, I might just be doing one instead of current two. It meant halving the income. I could try to live with lowered income of sort. Even with investments, investment gains realised are never certain. Depends on market conditions. So if my main stable job gives me more, can reduce the time and effort on others.
Its the same dilemma for other stuff. Things like exercising, learning a course, learning an instrument, going out. All of them requires extra time and effort. It seems the only things that dont really requires that are watching tv and sleeping. That's why many of us do it mostly on weekends. There's still time but really much much less effort. Just too bad those 2 activities dont pay us monetarily. Also they dont count for anything when looking back at one's life. There's no sense of accomplishment nor is there any skills gathered. Furthermore doing these meant clashing with work - time and effort. All these whittle down personal time.
I have quite a bit on my plate and something gave. I gave up tv and gaming. I only watch tv on weekends and its only to watch recorded cable tv shows at one go. Then I havent gamed on my PS2 in years. Even my PSP is neglected. On public transport, I find myself listening to mp3 more than playing games.
To sum it all up, at least for me. " The worthwhile things are the ones that requires time and effort." No free lunch, easy way out. Sometimes the 'easiest way' is just to start something in small steps and continue and persisting. Doing a bit a day, meant accumulation starts. Over time surely there is something more tangible at the end. Yet due to time-energy constraints, its best to do a few things that one can manage, then priortise and do. A schedule helps. Surely at times, some lapses here and there but overall still a more positive picture.
I have work stuff to do during work hours. I am having more and more to do but I try to clear them during work hours, not bring back home. I still have the holiday work syndrome. Easier to segregate work and personal life this way. At work I file my stuff and clear things as quickly as I can. Trying to work smart so that I can enjoy the free time to do other stuff.
Though now, my weekdays are finally freed up. Glad for the lax. Need to rest my tired and a bit sickly body. On the weekly agenda includes - exercise 2 times, practice guitar, monitor stocks and rest.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Why so many many parties n invitations? S1, 2, 3, whole place plus Pink(ladies)
In the end on Sun, I didn't go for third cardio. Will try again this week. Good news is that today, another of the pants went back to being loose, but since it's a size bigger, so it's not much yet. Still got long way to go.
This Friday, my mouth agreed to go for another level's party... Cos I work across levels, so other levels have tried to invite me for their monthly or termly party. So far I've 'missed' one from both levels which I don't belong to. Missed another 2 from my own level, those were mainly due to assignments n lessons. But there's still the Ladies party plus whole-school parties.... That's really alot. To cut the story short, I'll be $66 poorer cos I opened my mouth to agree. So it meant I would be drinking at least 6 mugs of beer from the tap... So I have to watch the calories the whole week. Better squeeze in as much gym as I could. Also need to find time to cut hair, make myself practice guitar n not keep putting it off.
Today settling the paper work of my collegue's insurance case to get ready to get a legal counsel, cos the other insurance is sitting on his claims n no payment forthcoming. So Bo bian, have to help him this last part, to settle the paperworks, ger duplicates receipts n invoices n medical report from the hospital again. Then going to pass to lawyer to represent. Hopefully can get the lawyer in, by this week cos this case might have been dragged out a bit too long by the other party's "inaction".
Think I would look forward to the beer from tap this Friday. Still think they kena katuk but Bo bian, my other collegue helped out n gave them so much cheaper deals with much much better food but they so hung up about the free-flow beer for just 2 hrs... After this, I won't be going for anymore of this level's party cos technically I don't belong, so it already meant I got invited to so many more parties compared to the other local collegues. My pocket and waist-line cannot tahan too. Rather spend that same amount eating way way way more quality food. With what I am paying, I could eat that crab buffet n still have change. So definitely no more.
This Friday, my mouth agreed to go for another level's party... Cos I work across levels, so other levels have tried to invite me for their monthly or termly party. So far I've 'missed' one from both levels which I don't belong to. Missed another 2 from my own level, those were mainly due to assignments n lessons. But there's still the Ladies party plus whole-school parties.... That's really alot. To cut the story short, I'll be $66 poorer cos I opened my mouth to agree. So it meant I would be drinking at least 6 mugs of beer from the tap... So I have to watch the calories the whole week. Better squeeze in as much gym as I could. Also need to find time to cut hair, make myself practice guitar n not keep putting it off.
Today settling the paper work of my collegue's insurance case to get ready to get a legal counsel, cos the other insurance is sitting on his claims n no payment forthcoming. So Bo bian, have to help him this last part, to settle the paperworks, ger duplicates receipts n invoices n medical report from the hospital again. Then going to pass to lawyer to represent. Hopefully can get the lawyer in, by this week cos this case might have been dragged out a bit too long by the other party's "inaction".
Think I would look forward to the beer from tap this Friday. Still think they kena katuk but Bo bian, my other collegue helped out n gave them so much cheaper deals with much much better food but they so hung up about the free-flow beer for just 2 hrs... After this, I won't be going for anymore of this level's party cos technically I don't belong, so it already meant I got invited to so many more parties compared to the other local collegues. My pocket and waist-line cannot tahan too. Rather spend that same amount eating way way way more quality food. With what I am paying, I could eat that crab buffet n still have change. So definitely no more.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Stay-home weekend plus rain
Friday was having some mild cramps n decided to head home. Changed plans of gy
that night. Think I watched cable tv and stoned infront of laptop. Not really productive I guess.
Sat is stay-home cos my guitar was postponed, and everyone else was busy with wedding lunch n dinners to attend. So I stayed at home. Woke up naturally at 9am and headed over to buy breakfast for family. After that watched cable tv again. I was quite determined to go for gym. So at 6pm, despite the rain I changed and headed for gym. Felt very accomplished after that. Felt more 'settled' n no more of the unsettling feeling staying indoors.
Today my mom and two sisters headed to Genting until tue evening. Home
with dad and a list of daily chores to do. Plus sister needed me to check her phone and emails for interviews. Yep. Thinking of heading to gym to do the 3rd slotfor this week. I am considering making this a pure cardio, meaning stepper, rower and stationary bike. 1hr of cardio. At least it won't make my gym workouts too repeatitive cos if I do the same regime 3 times a week, it gets boring and might put me off. Try this out and see how.
Next week is last week of assignment plus payment. Yipee. But at work hot some sorta open class aka observation of sorts. Plus tha piece of admin... See how things go then. I am just gonna charge my batteries and try to reset my irritation n cranky meters. Hopefully with the exercise routines back to 2-3, I'll be less irritable. My tolerance was waning especially with certain 'silly or stupid' questions asked to me by the two new collegues whom I have to work with. Oh well... Just take it a day at a time.
that night. Think I watched cable tv and stoned infront of laptop. Not really productive I guess.
Sat is stay-home cos my guitar was postponed, and everyone else was busy with wedding lunch n dinners to attend. So I stayed at home. Woke up naturally at 9am and headed over to buy breakfast for family. After that watched cable tv again. I was quite determined to go for gym. So at 6pm, despite the rain I changed and headed for gym. Felt very accomplished after that. Felt more 'settled' n no more of the unsettling feeling staying indoors.
Today my mom and two sisters headed to Genting until tue evening. Home
with dad and a list of daily chores to do. Plus sister needed me to check her phone and emails for interviews. Yep. Thinking of heading to gym to do the 3rd slotfor this week. I am considering making this a pure cardio, meaning stepper, rower and stationary bike. 1hr of cardio. At least it won't make my gym workouts too repeatitive cos if I do the same regime 3 times a week, it gets boring and might put me off. Try this out and see how.
Next week is last week of assignment plus payment. Yipee. But at work hot some sorta open class aka observation of sorts. Plus tha piece of admin... See how things go then. I am just gonna charge my batteries and try to reset my irritation n cranky meters. Hopefully with the exercise routines back to 2-3, I'll be less irritable. My tolerance was waning especially with certain 'silly or stupid' questions asked to me by the two new collegues whom I have to work with. Oh well... Just take it a day at a time.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Admin work suddenly drop on my lap
This is a bit of work grouse. It just happened out of the blue, after everything has ended. Like after the event and just before cca.
I was doing up one of the activity for a collegue's lesson, when A told me she was told by B to tell me that I should continue this ALT spreadsheet that he was doing. Basically the collegues have no idea which class we would be going into. Initially in the earlier days, I did it by counting manually and writing it down in my teacher book, which I still do for my Sec 3 slots. Then I would inform them. Then out of the blue, B decided to do for the Sec 1 level. He clustered certain classes together such that I was with each teacher for a cluster of 4 lessons.
BUT when now you are asking me to take over suddenly. And I opened up the excel format, its too complicated. There's like monitoring every class for the Sec 1 is at the nth lesson, then choose to cluster the classes that are having the same nth lesson. Basically the story is its toooooo taxing to manually do it, unless there was a system that is used. So I would have to ask it from the horse's mouth tomorrow.
IF there is no system to aid this, I would just make it simple and easy for me. I would make my own format. I see NO reason why I should continue this taxing format when the whole aim about this is to inform all the rest earlier when exactly we are going in for the lessons. Plus I would have to print and put on relevant teacher's tables weekly.
It puts a sore taste in my mouth. Partly was that I was initially doing it manually and counting it originally. THEN you decided to take it over. Now after 1.5 terms, you decided to 'give' it back to me to do instead. You left behind this complex excel spreadsheet and obviously I am not going to follow if its so inconvenient for me to update and make a weekly update. I dont mind doing this cos its just a simple job of counting and writing down which class we are going into, except it can be done via excel for the benefit of others. BUT giving it back to me in the mid of the term... I think since you wanted to do it, then continue lor. Duh!
So tomorrow I am going to ask B about the existence of a system. If not, I would do it my way. The easy, fast and most effortless way. My excel skills are considered good, but its not for me to use it to follow your complex table for something so trival. I rather use it on other things, like my stocks and savings.
This left me sore though generally today was a pretty good day. I was looking forward to the end of the day after cca. But being told this out of the blue by a collegue who was only helping to relay a message cos the collegue wasnt around, kinda spoils the mood. After cca, which also left me frowning a bit cos of the level of skill... but nevermind. I went back to my seat and finished up by writing up two big tongue twisters. Then that finished my work. Walked up to the cooking room and chatted with collegue and complaining about the sudden piece of admin work. And she told me that they actually have a system they use for timetabling. So I would ask B instead. Actually B is a good guy, he is dilligent and he actually do up all the activities, so I just carry out in class. So there might be a miscom. I would clarify. Felt better after that.
Let me think about how to do ice-cream proto-typing or work on the next recipe, cheese cake.
I was doing up one of the activity for a collegue's lesson, when A told me she was told by B to tell me that I should continue this ALT spreadsheet that he was doing. Basically the collegues have no idea which class we would be going into. Initially in the earlier days, I did it by counting manually and writing it down in my teacher book, which I still do for my Sec 3 slots. Then I would inform them. Then out of the blue, B decided to do for the Sec 1 level. He clustered certain classes together such that I was with each teacher for a cluster of 4 lessons.
BUT when now you are asking me to take over suddenly. And I opened up the excel format, its too complicated. There's like monitoring every class for the Sec 1 is at the nth lesson, then choose to cluster the classes that are having the same nth lesson. Basically the story is its toooooo taxing to manually do it, unless there was a system that is used. So I would have to ask it from the horse's mouth tomorrow.
IF there is no system to aid this, I would just make it simple and easy for me. I would make my own format. I see NO reason why I should continue this taxing format when the whole aim about this is to inform all the rest earlier when exactly we are going in for the lessons. Plus I would have to print and put on relevant teacher's tables weekly.
It puts a sore taste in my mouth. Partly was that I was initially doing it manually and counting it originally. THEN you decided to take it over. Now after 1.5 terms, you decided to 'give' it back to me to do instead. You left behind this complex excel spreadsheet and obviously I am not going to follow if its so inconvenient for me to update and make a weekly update. I dont mind doing this cos its just a simple job of counting and writing down which class we are going into, except it can be done via excel for the benefit of others. BUT giving it back to me in the mid of the term... I think since you wanted to do it, then continue lor. Duh!
So tomorrow I am going to ask B about the existence of a system. If not, I would do it my way. The easy, fast and most effortless way. My excel skills are considered good, but its not for me to use it to follow your complex table for something so trival. I rather use it on other things, like my stocks and savings.
This left me sore though generally today was a pretty good day. I was looking forward to the end of the day after cca. But being told this out of the blue by a collegue who was only helping to relay a message cos the collegue wasnt around, kinda spoils the mood. After cca, which also left me frowning a bit cos of the level of skill... but nevermind. I went back to my seat and finished up by writing up two big tongue twisters. Then that finished my work. Walked up to the cooking room and chatted with collegue and complaining about the sudden piece of admin work. And she told me that they actually have a system they use for timetabling. So I would ask B instead. Actually B is a good guy, he is dilligent and he actually do up all the activities, so I just carry out in class. So there might be a miscom. I would clarify. Felt better after that.
Let me think about how to do ice-cream proto-typing or work on the next recipe, cheese cake.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Finally...
Headed to the first gym session this week. Last week only went once plus delayed until mid-week meant that I've broke the 7-day break between a routine. Felt way way weaker. Only did one set for the free weights. Think I have to build up my fittness level again.
Its great to finally make myself go to gym. Because of the gym reduction, I attribute my tighter pants, weight gain, fall in energy level, rise in crankiness and grouses to it, less patience and less smiley. So after the gym, suddenly my state of well-being went up. Feeling accomplished and brain not thinking of anything work-related. Think I really NEED to keep up at least twice a week. Otherwise I would morph back into a grumpy, tired and impatient educator.
Finally picked up the dusty guitar after almost a month of not even touching it. Watched a you-tube for "I dont want to live on the moon" by Burt in Sesame street. Printed out the guitar chords and inspired to try. Then wiped off the dust from the guitar and tuned it before practising. Slightly better when I looked at the previous lesson BUT there are still many parts I dont understand. It doesnt sound like what I heard... argh felt my irriation meter rising. Practiced the basic but still nowhere near playing the song.... so decided to take a break. Otherwise, I might just ignore the guitar again for weeks...
Think a break is good. Though it didnt mean I wasnt thinking about guitar. But sometimes forcing oneself to do something kills the passion and interest. So the breather is welcome. Same for assignment, glad next week is the last one. I am going to take several weeks off first.
Plan to pick up the gym and guitar routine and continue on. There's still 9 more weeks of work to go... That's almost a full MOE term... body still not used to that. The lack of exercise meant my stamina also lowered...
So many incentives to exercise, I just have to and this is one exception to 'taking a breather'. This exercise routine really have to persist.
Its great to finally make myself go to gym. Because of the gym reduction, I attribute my tighter pants, weight gain, fall in energy level, rise in crankiness and grouses to it, less patience and less smiley. So after the gym, suddenly my state of well-being went up. Feeling accomplished and brain not thinking of anything work-related. Think I really NEED to keep up at least twice a week. Otherwise I would morph back into a grumpy, tired and impatient educator.
Finally picked up the dusty guitar after almost a month of not even touching it. Watched a you-tube for "I dont want to live on the moon" by Burt in Sesame street. Printed out the guitar chords and inspired to try. Then wiped off the dust from the guitar and tuned it before practising. Slightly better when I looked at the previous lesson BUT there are still many parts I dont understand. It doesnt sound like what I heard... argh felt my irriation meter rising. Practiced the basic but still nowhere near playing the song.... so decided to take a break. Otherwise, I might just ignore the guitar again for weeks...
Think a break is good. Though it didnt mean I wasnt thinking about guitar. But sometimes forcing oneself to do something kills the passion and interest. So the breather is welcome. Same for assignment, glad next week is the last one. I am going to take several weeks off first.
Plan to pick up the gym and guitar routine and continue on. There's still 9 more weeks of work to go... That's almost a full MOE term... body still not used to that. The lack of exercise meant my stamina also lowered...
So many incentives to exercise, I just have to and this is one exception to 'taking a breather'. This exercise routine really have to persist.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Mini maple pancake - plain with maple syrup & chocolate chips
I gradually brought all the ingredients I bought to put at a corner in the prep room in the kitchen at workplace. Knowing today, I have enough free time to start cooking, I brought the fresh ingredients over, eggs and butter.
Today's agenda is to make mini-pancakes from scratch, flour, baking soda, powder, milk, egg, butter and maple syrup. Then instead of using a griddle to cook, bake for abt 8mins in the oven. Had enough to make 3 batches.
First try prototyping batch I baked too long so it's a bit dry.Cos I don't really eat pancakes to know what is the exact texture. Is it supposed to be crispy, hard, soft, moist? Later my local collegues told me should be soft and moist... So shorten timing and try out remaining batter from first batch with chocolate chips sprinkled. I ate one and it's moist and soft and the chocs were hersheys semi-sweet so it taste good.
Then made 2 more batches, one is with chocolate chips generously mixed in, the other is plain but can dip in maple syrup. Then after they are done, I took 7 of them back home. The rest I arranged on 2 plates and with a small bowl with generous maple syrup, brought down for collegues.
Personally I prefer the plain ones, it has some maple syrup in the batter already and looks n taste okay by itself but once it's dipped generously with maple syrup, very light tasting. The choc chips are good enough to eat by itself. Can't taste the maple syrup even when dipped with maple syrup. The choc chips are not that sweet, so it taste good too. Learnt that if there's lots of chips, it enhances the taste. Wouldn't mind eating this version too.
When I brought it down, there werea few collegues standing around and they dug in. High praises, I was too full after sampling 3 of the plain ones and 1 choc chip from the 1st batch. Had a delicious lunch at Thai express. The pineapple rice set is good. Enjoy the tapioca too. Really really too full from all these. I just ate my dinner. Try to eat normally.
It's already 7.36pm, really hard to dig myself out... Just settle for animes and relax and sleep. Tomorrow I better control the ice-cream buffet at the Udders course... :( little wonders my weight is still going up n down....
Today's agenda is to make mini-pancakes from scratch, flour, baking soda, powder, milk, egg, butter and maple syrup. Then instead of using a griddle to cook, bake for abt 8mins in the oven. Had enough to make 3 batches.
First try prototyping batch I baked too long so it's a bit dry.Cos I don't really eat pancakes to know what is the exact texture. Is it supposed to be crispy, hard, soft, moist? Later my local collegues told me should be soft and moist... So shorten timing and try out remaining batter from first batch with chocolate chips sprinkled. I ate one and it's moist and soft and the chocs were hersheys semi-sweet so it taste good.
Then made 2 more batches, one is with chocolate chips generously mixed in, the other is plain but can dip in maple syrup. Then after they are done, I took 7 of them back home. The rest I arranged on 2 plates and with a small bowl with generous maple syrup, brought down for collegues.
Personally I prefer the plain ones, it has some maple syrup in the batter already and looks n taste okay by itself but once it's dipped generously with maple syrup, very light tasting. The choc chips are good enough to eat by itself. Can't taste the maple syrup even when dipped with maple syrup. The choc chips are not that sweet, so it taste good too. Learnt that if there's lots of chips, it enhances the taste. Wouldn't mind eating this version too.
When I brought it down, there werea few collegues standing around and they dug in. High praises, I was too full after sampling 3 of the plain ones and 1 choc chip from the 1st batch. Had a delicious lunch at Thai express. The pineapple rice set is good. Enjoy the tapioca too. Really really too full from all these. I just ate my dinner. Try to eat normally.
It's already 7.36pm, really hard to dig myself out... Just settle for animes and relax and sleep. Tomorrow I better control the ice-cream buffet at the Udders course... :( little wonders my weight is still going up n down....
Saturday, October 09, 2010
An Epiphany from peeling and eating sweet potatoes...?
It was a simple act. Peel some Jap sweet potatoes infront of the laptop. I suddenly got an epiphany (sudden realisation) about one aspect of myself.
It was a hot and boring afternoon. I was debating whether to go for gym or even head out while seated infront of the laptop. Then my mom came over with a small plate with 3 jap sweet potatoes.
To be honest, I am NOT a fan of the jap species cos they are so miserably thin and its not easy to peel them. I prefer the bigger species of sweet potatoes that taste sweeter too. So I started peeling grudgingly cos as each was very thin, it meant, I have to peel quite a lot of skin off for a relatively little bit of potatoe. It also meant, I have to wait quite a long while to finish peeling off all the skin before I could get a few mouthful. That was all my past experience.
Then after putting the small plate of jap sweet potatoes, I made a face and asked my mom how she eats it. She just breaks off a small stick, about 1 inch. Then breaks into half. Peel off the skin and eats. I tried that for the first time but realized I wasnt happy with it, mainly cos it meant I have to peel some, eat some, then go back to peeling.
Which wasnt what I usually do. I would peel off almost all the skin at a go and then enjoy the fruit of the labour. It hit me then. Why I didnt enjoy eating this. Its cos I couldnt do the "Sian Ku Hou Tian" (hard work first then enjoy) which is the way I usually do. This time round, I have to "do some work, enjoy the fruit" and continue again. I realized that I should be able to do some work, enjoy part of it before repeating.
Why so hung up about having to do all the work in a go, then enjoy everything later. A bit too depriving at times. So I settled for peeling parts of the not-so-tasty-and-thin-Jap-sweet-potatoes and then eating, then going back to peeling and eating another part. Its not the way I would have liked to approach but the other approach is okay with the current me.
Actually this is the first time, I actually did this half work, half enjoy thingy. Not that I dont do this at work. But I realize that even at work, I rather finish all the work first before I play. This reminds me that I am and can be more flexible with the way I approach some of the stuff in my life.
Wow all these from just eating sweet potatoes in a hot and lazy afternoon.
It was a hot and boring afternoon. I was debating whether to go for gym or even head out while seated infront of the laptop. Then my mom came over with a small plate with 3 jap sweet potatoes.
To be honest, I am NOT a fan of the jap species cos they are so miserably thin and its not easy to peel them. I prefer the bigger species of sweet potatoes that taste sweeter too. So I started peeling grudgingly cos as each was very thin, it meant, I have to peel quite a lot of skin off for a relatively little bit of potatoe. It also meant, I have to wait quite a long while to finish peeling off all the skin before I could get a few mouthful. That was all my past experience.
Then after putting the small plate of jap sweet potatoes, I made a face and asked my mom how she eats it. She just breaks off a small stick, about 1 inch. Then breaks into half. Peel off the skin and eats. I tried that for the first time but realized I wasnt happy with it, mainly cos it meant I have to peel some, eat some, then go back to peeling.
Which wasnt what I usually do. I would peel off almost all the skin at a go and then enjoy the fruit of the labour. It hit me then. Why I didnt enjoy eating this. Its cos I couldnt do the "Sian Ku Hou Tian" (hard work first then enjoy) which is the way I usually do. This time round, I have to "do some work, enjoy the fruit" and continue again. I realized that I should be able to do some work, enjoy part of it before repeating.
Why so hung up about having to do all the work in a go, then enjoy everything later. A bit too depriving at times. So I settled for peeling parts of the not-so-tasty-and-thin-Jap-sweet-potatoes and then eating, then going back to peeling and eating another part. Its not the way I would have liked to approach but the other approach is okay with the current me.
Actually this is the first time, I actually did this half work, half enjoy thingy. Not that I dont do this at work. But I realize that even at work, I rather finish all the work first before I play. This reminds me that I am and can be more flexible with the way I approach some of the stuff in my life.
Wow all these from just eating sweet potatoes in a hot and lazy afternoon.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Cold and creamy pudding with banana n wafers
Copied a recipe for an easy pudding that is cold and creamy and topped with bananans n some vanilla wafers. So after talking, checking stuff online and then a delicious lunch of curry fish head at ginza, I started after students were dismissed.
It's pretty easy to make. The only thing about it is the lack of mention of the no of servings for the portions I was making. Then after it's combined, it's a bit too liquidy, so meant have to chill. No mention of chiller or freezer. Due to time constraint, I put 2 in the freezer to see how they hold up. The rest I put in the chiller.
I made 8 bowls and 4 each using 2 diff types of vanilla wafers. Wanted to see if the block type or the long thin cigar type matches better. So I took out the one with the block. Interestingly, the texture turns to ice-cream style. And I had tasted it before chilling, too sweet... But too liquidy. After freezing, it tastes better, can tasted the banana cos it's put in and then chilled. Think it's good enough without the wafers. Think need to freeze a bit longer, put more sliced bananas and maube just use one long vanilla to garnishjust b4 serving.
After eating the first proto-type, I was writhing from the sweetness. The other proto-type I kept in the freezer for tomorrow.
I noted that the other 6 bowls remain liquidy despite 2 over hours in the chiller. It meant that unless I want to serve tomorrow, otherwise I should put into the freezer. I didn't want to bring back home. Partly nobody eating plus mom and dad shouldn't be eating this... So with an hour to spare before it's time for me to go home, I chilled the 6 and then brought it downstairs. Collegues were marking, and not so much of it to pass around, so I just put on the table and then return the tray. Dunno if anyone would eat. Think they would. So I returned the tray, left one more to see how it fares after it's mostly frozen solid, see if it can hold or is too hard, etc etc.
After all these, the curry fish head and the bowl of cold and creamy vanilla pudding eith banana n vanilla wafers. I felt too full. After work, I headed home, tired. Took a nap of 50mins and woke up to head to gum around 7.30pm. Didn't do any leg exercise cos knee caps still crackling, sore. Did stomach and arms plus stretch. Came home then ate dinner.
Resting up after dinner. Going to bath and sleep earlier. Partly cos I want to clear some checking of files tomorrow. I be 'free' the whole day. So want to clear that first then going to continue to check the other proto-type. Won't be cooking. See if all the tasks I have to do tomorrow doesn't occupy all the hours, I would consider asking for the use of the guitar again. Work before play, so can play in peace and no guilt. Plus no last minute pile-up of work to clear. Less stress this way. Think that's a good plan to stick to.
It's pretty easy to make. The only thing about it is the lack of mention of the no of servings for the portions I was making. Then after it's combined, it's a bit too liquidy, so meant have to chill. No mention of chiller or freezer. Due to time constraint, I put 2 in the freezer to see how they hold up. The rest I put in the chiller.
I made 8 bowls and 4 each using 2 diff types of vanilla wafers. Wanted to see if the block type or the long thin cigar type matches better. So I took out the one with the block. Interestingly, the texture turns to ice-cream style. And I had tasted it before chilling, too sweet... But too liquidy. After freezing, it tastes better, can tasted the banana cos it's put in and then chilled. Think it's good enough without the wafers. Think need to freeze a bit longer, put more sliced bananas and maube just use one long vanilla to garnishjust b4 serving.
After eating the first proto-type, I was writhing from the sweetness. The other proto-type I kept in the freezer for tomorrow.
I noted that the other 6 bowls remain liquidy despite 2 over hours in the chiller. It meant that unless I want to serve tomorrow, otherwise I should put into the freezer. I didn't want to bring back home. Partly nobody eating plus mom and dad shouldn't be eating this... So with an hour to spare before it's time for me to go home, I chilled the 6 and then brought it downstairs. Collegues were marking, and not so much of it to pass around, so I just put on the table and then return the tray. Dunno if anyone would eat. Think they would. So I returned the tray, left one more to see how it fares after it's mostly frozen solid, see if it can hold or is too hard, etc etc.
After all these, the curry fish head and the bowl of cold and creamy vanilla pudding eith banana n vanilla wafers. I felt too full. After work, I headed home, tired. Took a nap of 50mins and woke up to head to gum around 7.30pm. Didn't do any leg exercise cos knee caps still crackling, sore. Did stomach and arms plus stretch. Came home then ate dinner.
Resting up after dinner. Going to bath and sleep earlier. Partly cos I want to clear some checking of files tomorrow. I be 'free' the whole day. So want to clear that first then going to continue to check the other proto-type. Won't be cooking. See if all the tasks I have to do tomorrow doesn't occupy all the hours, I would consider asking for the use of the guitar again. Work before play, so can play in peace and no guilt. Plus no last minute pile-up of work to clear. Less stress this way. Think that's a good plan to stick to.
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Paid to do nothing?
Yes this thurday and friday are exams.
And for the whole day, I have nothing to do.
Yes. Nothing.
I have to go for work as normal and end as normal. Without a thing to do...
Though at times I am glad for the lax. Am I getting too lax?
Like now, I have just almost killed an hour surfing stuff online and watching a few youtube videos. To be fair, I had a long day today, with 3 lessons taught by me solo in a row. Then have cleaning supervision and followed by another Eng class where I go in to assist. I want to help out with the exam by helping them manually fold the papers but its still not finished printing. I helped a collegue for one of the level. Waiting for them to call me to help. Otherwise, I might prefer to hide in the kitchen....
Not that I have anything to cook on hand. Think straight after work, I am going to Cold Storage. I need to get a few items for the new recipe to try, "Creamy and Cold Banana Wafer Pudding" thingy. If I remember the name correctly. So gonna proto-type it tomorrow, aka experiment with it for the first time. Then I cant decide what to do on Friday... Think I should ask to use the acoustic guitar again.... The lax is welcome but sometimes is really too lax that its too un-natural... IF not then its Cheesecake proto-type..
Thinking of heading to gym, I missed on Sun due to heading to Ikea until quite late. Also on Mon, my assignment changed day, so missed, plus knee cap still painful. Think even if I head to gym, would skip the legs exercise until knees are better. Just stomach and arms. Think an hour will do. Maybe I should do it tomorrow straight after work, then can still head out... Head where and do what is another thing though. No worries for that. If not, head home and finally practice guitar.
I wish the stock market would make up its mind to either go up and keep going or drop and keep dropping. Its already Oct, and I've only hit the $10k target... Where's my next target of $15k??? I want to look forward to getting $1k.... Hmm... This non-moving or slight fluctuating market is really irritating at times. Hope to get more 'gains' this month and up til the end of the year.
And for the whole day, I have nothing to do.
Yes. Nothing.
I have to go for work as normal and end as normal. Without a thing to do...
Though at times I am glad for the lax. Am I getting too lax?
Like now, I have just almost killed an hour surfing stuff online and watching a few youtube videos. To be fair, I had a long day today, with 3 lessons taught by me solo in a row. Then have cleaning supervision and followed by another Eng class where I go in to assist. I want to help out with the exam by helping them manually fold the papers but its still not finished printing. I helped a collegue for one of the level. Waiting for them to call me to help. Otherwise, I might prefer to hide in the kitchen....
Not that I have anything to cook on hand. Think straight after work, I am going to Cold Storage. I need to get a few items for the new recipe to try, "Creamy and Cold Banana Wafer Pudding" thingy. If I remember the name correctly. So gonna proto-type it tomorrow, aka experiment with it for the first time. Then I cant decide what to do on Friday... Think I should ask to use the acoustic guitar again.... The lax is welcome but sometimes is really too lax that its too un-natural... IF not then its Cheesecake proto-type..
Thinking of heading to gym, I missed on Sun due to heading to Ikea until quite late. Also on Mon, my assignment changed day, so missed, plus knee cap still painful. Think even if I head to gym, would skip the legs exercise until knees are better. Just stomach and arms. Think an hour will do. Maybe I should do it tomorrow straight after work, then can still head out... Head where and do what is another thing though. No worries for that. If not, head home and finally practice guitar.
I wish the stock market would make up its mind to either go up and keep going or drop and keep dropping. Its already Oct, and I've only hit the $10k target... Where's my next target of $15k??? I want to look forward to getting $1k.... Hmm... This non-moving or slight fluctuating market is really irritating at times. Hope to get more 'gains' this month and up til the end of the year.
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Negativism and the act of complaining
The question is WHEN is negativism and the act of complaining too much. This post comes after another collegue told me how she felt my counterpart is too complain-y. It's a long story. But to sum it up, the truth is that collegue is REALLY negative and complain-y about stuff. But think the other just concluded that after half year plus personal interactions. Seriously IF I had thought I was negative and complain-y during my time as an educator under bond, she takes the cake.
I am careful NOT to let the negativism get to me by choosing just to let stuff go one ear in and out the other ear. I remind myself to be appreciative of my job with the pretty decent pay and working hours plus the perk of having free time to do stuff like monitoring stocks, though I can't trade, do other stuff plus little or no admin work nor OT nor have to bring work home nor is anything at the back of my head once I walk out of the workplace. I only turn on the work-mode once I open the laptop at work. Also music calms the savage or bored beast.
I have learnt in the period of time that I was unemployed, to be grateful for small things, to be contented with some things and Not just compare everything and expect everything to live up to one's expectations. Of course these all didn't come to me in a flash, I had to really dig at my psyche to extract issues that really bothers me, the things that Really makes me happier, the things that I Now have and should be grateful for, and also what sort of achievements I wanted to work on; not according to other's measure of success, BUT according to my own sense of what is success for me realistically and also how I might work towards the greats, even though I am starting realistically. For me, when there is nothing more to look forward in Life, it really makes life dull, boring and a dread. What many fail to realize is that nobody but yourself can define what are the things one should look forward to, dream about.
Don't try too hard to live up to other people's nor society's expectations. You are no longer in school. Already graduated and earning own pay. The need to live up to "parental" expectations is there to guide in the earlier years but once earning own pay, we should move out of this "what-others-think-matters" so much more than what we think. As pong as I am not doing anything illegal, there's nothing wrong to value own health more, value own free time after work, pursuing a passion pushed aside in favor of realistic work, to start and develop new hobbies and passion, to remake one's perspective and parts of the personality for the better. To rely more on oneself to define who you are, be comfortable with that.
To be able to look back at decisions and say "Yup, I wouldn't have done it any other way."
But these comes from taking ownership of one's life. Recognize that there are limitations everywhere even yourself, yet there are aspects one can control and work on. There are things that no matter how much u try, it can't nor be easily changed eg work systems but there arethings in your control; how am I going to approach the situation, the thoughts and attitude I would adopt. Think that is important. If finally, things still can't be changed, either u reject and leave or learn to live with it with certain compromises.
That's the way I deal with many things now. I find I am not stressed about much things. Take it a day at a time, don't let things get to me easily, continue to work on areas and goals that I deem important (irregardless of other's opinion), and continue to 'enjoy' and 'find joys' in each day that comes. Even if not new 'adventures' come, so long as I find it 'fruitful', 'accomplished' even at tiny, non-existent thing like, I finished my work, I came home earlier, managed to help out, all means something to me. THAT makes me happy, feeling happy. Small things like these defines happiness according to what you value.
Even when feeling down, there's exercise, family and friends, tonnes of stuff to work off the negativism. Don't end up complaining just for the sake of complaining, that's the bad habit I think that collegue has. Don't let negativity creep up and sap the energy at work or outside work. Recognize if you are the one being negative to a situation or is the situation Really so negative? Many a times, it's we who react negatively to a neutral/positive situation. Recognizing this can help one adjust the attitude away from being negative.
Needless to say, there's already too much negativity in our lives, since young through the education system where ouristakes are highlighted but not the good parts. We hardly praise ourselves, we try to earn praises from others. We try to live up to high expectations which seems to be built mainly on other's high expectations and fail at times. Nobody celebrates the mistakes, no one praise you for standing up after a fall. The real thing is people don't get praised for alot of things, we can live with it and learn to be alright with some self-praise and less of such 'hard-to-get' praises.
No worries for me. I am still more positive person despite having to hear all the trival complaints about almost everything under the sun, from food disliked to dislike of certain way of doing things, to sleepiness and more. So long as I recognize my own feelings and thoughts, such won't affect me much, would forget after listening type. Though I would like to listen to positive things after too much of it and that's where music saves me.
I think everyone has their own grouses, and we do at times air our complaints to get support, advise, comments from others. BUT when it's all purely about grousing, and leaving the issues untouched, repeating same grouse over and over and over again, one better be careful not to irk those who have to put up with it and be wary of falling into this 'cycle' of negativism that breeds even more negativism.
I am careful NOT to let the negativism get to me by choosing just to let stuff go one ear in and out the other ear. I remind myself to be appreciative of my job with the pretty decent pay and working hours plus the perk of having free time to do stuff like monitoring stocks, though I can't trade, do other stuff plus little or no admin work nor OT nor have to bring work home nor is anything at the back of my head once I walk out of the workplace. I only turn on the work-mode once I open the laptop at work. Also music calms the savage or bored beast.
I have learnt in the period of time that I was unemployed, to be grateful for small things, to be contented with some things and Not just compare everything and expect everything to live up to one's expectations. Of course these all didn't come to me in a flash, I had to really dig at my psyche to extract issues that really bothers me, the things that Really makes me happier, the things that I Now have and should be grateful for, and also what sort of achievements I wanted to work on; not according to other's measure of success, BUT according to my own sense of what is success for me realistically and also how I might work towards the greats, even though I am starting realistically. For me, when there is nothing more to look forward in Life, it really makes life dull, boring and a dread. What many fail to realize is that nobody but yourself can define what are the things one should look forward to, dream about.
Don't try too hard to live up to other people's nor society's expectations. You are no longer in school. Already graduated and earning own pay. The need to live up to "parental" expectations is there to guide in the earlier years but once earning own pay, we should move out of this "what-others-think-matters" so much more than what we think. As pong as I am not doing anything illegal, there's nothing wrong to value own health more, value own free time after work, pursuing a passion pushed aside in favor of realistic work, to start and develop new hobbies and passion, to remake one's perspective and parts of the personality for the better. To rely more on oneself to define who you are, be comfortable with that.
To be able to look back at decisions and say "Yup, I wouldn't have done it any other way."
But these comes from taking ownership of one's life. Recognize that there are limitations everywhere even yourself, yet there are aspects one can control and work on. There are things that no matter how much u try, it can't nor be easily changed eg work systems but there arethings in your control; how am I going to approach the situation, the thoughts and attitude I would adopt. Think that is important. If finally, things still can't be changed, either u reject and leave or learn to live with it with certain compromises.
That's the way I deal with many things now. I find I am not stressed about much things. Take it a day at a time, don't let things get to me easily, continue to work on areas and goals that I deem important (irregardless of other's opinion), and continue to 'enjoy' and 'find joys' in each day that comes. Even if not new 'adventures' come, so long as I find it 'fruitful', 'accomplished' even at tiny, non-existent thing like, I finished my work, I came home earlier, managed to help out, all means something to me. THAT makes me happy, feeling happy. Small things like these defines happiness according to what you value.
Even when feeling down, there's exercise, family and friends, tonnes of stuff to work off the negativism. Don't end up complaining just for the sake of complaining, that's the bad habit I think that collegue has. Don't let negativity creep up and sap the energy at work or outside work. Recognize if you are the one being negative to a situation or is the situation Really so negative? Many a times, it's we who react negatively to a neutral/positive situation. Recognizing this can help one adjust the attitude away from being negative.
Needless to say, there's already too much negativity in our lives, since young through the education system where ouristakes are highlighted but not the good parts. We hardly praise ourselves, we try to earn praises from others. We try to live up to high expectations which seems to be built mainly on other's high expectations and fail at times. Nobody celebrates the mistakes, no one praise you for standing up after a fall. The real thing is people don't get praised for alot of things, we can live with it and learn to be alright with some self-praise and less of such 'hard-to-get' praises.
No worries for me. I am still more positive person despite having to hear all the trival complaints about almost everything under the sun, from food disliked to dislike of certain way of doing things, to sleepiness and more. So long as I recognize my own feelings and thoughts, such won't affect me much, would forget after listening type. Though I would like to listen to positive things after too much of it and that's where music saves me.
I think everyone has their own grouses, and we do at times air our complaints to get support, advise, comments from others. BUT when it's all purely about grousing, and leaving the issues untouched, repeating same grouse over and over and over again, one better be careful not to irk those who have to put up with it and be wary of falling into this 'cycle' of negativism that breeds even more negativism.
Friday, October 01, 2010
Guitar practice
Due in part to a hectic schedule with gym, assignment and also tiredness, I haven't really practised much. It'll be good if I manage to practice once a week. Sometimes I go for nil for two weeks. Then when lessons resume, my fingers were so out of practice... So didn't want to lag behind but trying hard to squeeze time n energy to practice at home. On days with gym or assignment, either reach home so tired or 11pm plus that it's too late to even be playing an instrument.
Today, is my lightest day. I also cleared the upcoming activity, no last minute need of activities. So I am free for at least 4 hrs. To be fair, I was 'called' by the new collegue to discuss the lesson next week where I would be working with her for the first time. 1 collegue left due to husband going back Japan so family has to follow. In came 2 new collegues whom I have to work with on both the levels I am doing plus also that weekly solo lesson.
Like what my counterpart says "新官上任，三把火＂, aka super-on. So poor me. She is not that affected, only that weekly lesson thingy. I have 3 fires, she 1 only... So I sat down with the new collegue only for her to tell me basically the lesson flow... Nothing much concrete, well at least not asking me to make any activities. Oh well, hope for the best.
As my other collegue is away due to personal reason, I didn't have a place to hide nor did I prepare anything to cook. Brought my guitar sheets and intend to ask another foreign collegue if I might borrrow the use of an acoustic guitar to practice. He's nice and helped me tune one. Then I used the studio to practice in peace. Only had to switch off lights and air con when I am done. Managed to put in about 1.5hrs and fingers are not pain, the skin quite power liao.
Earlier I went online and tried to find more work stuff, activities but after a while, really tired liao. That was after the 'discussion' with the new collegue. Was turning into zombie already then we went for a slightly longer lunch nearby. The beef fried quay tiao is very good. Came back, I looked a bit more for work-related stuff, then can't function, then ask foreign collegue for the guitar loan. Happily practice until dismissal time and after that, I went back to practice. I think it's good to do somethng different from work, that uses another part of the brain and involves other tasks instead of just typing, staring at the computer screen. That's the good thing so far, I can do these whereas previously I couldn't. A great perk.
Today, is my lightest day. I also cleared the upcoming activity, no last minute need of activities. So I am free for at least 4 hrs. To be fair, I was 'called' by the new collegue to discuss the lesson next week where I would be working with her for the first time. 1 collegue left due to husband going back Japan so family has to follow. In came 2 new collegues whom I have to work with on both the levels I am doing plus also that weekly solo lesson.
Like what my counterpart says "新官上任，三把火＂, aka super-on. So poor me. She is not that affected, only that weekly lesson thingy. I have 3 fires, she 1 only... So I sat down with the new collegue only for her to tell me basically the lesson flow... Nothing much concrete, well at least not asking me to make any activities. Oh well, hope for the best.
As my other collegue is away due to personal reason, I didn't have a place to hide nor did I prepare anything to cook. Brought my guitar sheets and intend to ask another foreign collegue if I might borrrow the use of an acoustic guitar to practice. He's nice and helped me tune one. Then I used the studio to practice in peace. Only had to switch off lights and air con when I am done. Managed to put in about 1.5hrs and fingers are not pain, the skin quite power liao.
Earlier I went online and tried to find more work stuff, activities but after a while, really tired liao. That was after the 'discussion' with the new collegue. Was turning into zombie already then we went for a slightly longer lunch nearby. The beef fried quay tiao is very good. Came back, I looked a bit more for work-related stuff, then can't function, then ask foreign collegue for the guitar loan. Happily practice until dismissal time and after that, I went back to practice. I think it's good to do somethng different from work, that uses another part of the brain and involves other tasks instead of just typing, staring at the computer screen. That's the good thing so far, I can do these whereas previously I couldn't. A great perk.
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