1st attempt at Jap Light Cheesecake

I brought the ingredients I have at workplace back home, the Cheesecake recipe book and headed straight out to buy a whole bunch of ingredients for it. Even headed out later to buy lemons.

When I got home, after dinner, I started with the sponge cake, using the instant mix to make a sponge cake which will serve as the base of the cheese cake. Not much hitch yet, baked it but after baking and cooling the cake, a 50 cent hole cos a part of it is not cooked fully, so I cut away those parts, almost got an entice cake except it has a hole in the middle. Also it tasted rather dense.

Due to the whole, I changed plans. Instead of putting a layer of the sponge cake as base in the tin, then pour cheesecake over, I changed to cupcakes. I bought cupcakes thinking of using it next round to make mini individual cheesecakes. So I changed to that. Break some sponge cake bits to line the bottom, the scoop the cheesecake in.

Lagi best, I whisk the wrong part, egg white instead of just egg yolk, so my mixture turned up ultra fluffy n overflowing the mixing bowl. Then have to sieve it, wah... End up with list of drops of cheese stuff all over the place... My mom helped me wash up though I td her I would do so once baking starts but she went ahead. Thanks Mom.

This Jap light cheesecake seems to be alot more work than the normal one... Urgh, why I itchy backside go n choose this one... Well now the first batch is done and cooling on the table first before going into the fridge. Second batch is still cooking. I am ultra tired at this point... Maybe next time, I should just pay for that slice of Jap cheesecake instead.

Still got to wait for second batch to cool before chucking into the fridge. Signs... So sleepy now... Dunno if it's a disaster or a success yet. Will have taste test tomorrow.

1st time shooting a Shot-gun

Tab went for a shot-gun course at the Gun Club, met her last Sat after guitar for won ton mee. After chatting with her, FH and I were keen to go give it a try. My guitar had a make-up cos this sat instructor got something up. Though it's $65. It's those things that you do once in a lifetime just to have the experience.

We decided to meet for breakfast at West Coast Plaza, then head there. I had the typical Singaporean Chinese breakfast of Toasted kaya-butter bread, 2 softboil eggs and coffee. It's good. I can't even remember when was the last time I ever ate this. Think it might be numerous months or a few years ago... How ironic but my breakfast is noodles, prata, bread, musli bars, cornflakes or sandwiches plus coffee. But that breakfast was very delicious. FH came and had coffee then we set off.

I never realized that the SG Gun Club is near to NUT n NEI campus. It's near all the cemeteries site n the army camp. In fact I am thankful FH has a car, cos it's quite a distance inside. We arrived, filled indemnity forms, paid and went through the shooting prep safety course.

The instructor seems like the boss of the place. I couldn't hit the flying clay pigeons. Undershoot cos I moved the shotgun to aim, plus also move the gun to anticipated spot before the clay pigeon flew out. After every round, the coach kept asking me whether I moved or tried to aim. Super stress cos obviously the guys were hitting but I'm not and every shot the coach kept telling me...

There are quite a things to keep track of: safety, stance, load n cock n aim, then the point of shooting, when to pull the trigger. Plus must remember not to move the gun until can see the clay pigeon. Easier said than done. To get all this down requires 'muscle memory' which is repeations until it's more natural and all the steps are followed. This is something from guitar too. In ur mind, u want this finger to move, but another finger did instead or that finger moves slowly. Kept telling myself I have to try though u was getting discouraged. Finally with 9 more bullets left, I managed to hit. In the end made 4 out of 25. At one point, I was thinking to myself if I could make one shot then it's good enough.

After that we headed to Vivo for lunch. Talked about investment, economy n largely about Japan. Later we went our separate ways n I headed home by bus. I just reached home not long, Quetzal contacted me. We met up n she drove to Holland Village to do a bit of shopping and grab a bite. It was raining heavily n we settled in NYDC and had sandwiches n crosissont for dinner. Read mags and chatted a bit until Tab msg that maybe could meet up after her dinner.

We headed back to my home, to change, bring out 2 bottles of 'cough syrup' plus abacus. All in a backpack. Headed down to Marina and met Tab. Then we went shopping. Everyone ended up buying something. I'd never imagine myself with a top from Disguel... Oh well it was fitting, 50% off plus I quite like the split colours. So I ended up buying that.

We end at Macs, eating nuggets n dessert n drinking up 2 bottles of 'cough syrup'. I tried to paint my abacus gd but think I need brush and more patience to do a proper job. We left around 12. Thanks to Quetzal for driving me home. Appreciate it. Listening to MayDay songs on the way back.

I changed and laid on bed, wanting to read my book but end up sleeping... Woke up wondering where I am late morning. Bettergo to the gym asap, been skipping n stopping again...

Walao kena sabo lor

When I showed an lesson that I have prepared as a gp activity to Headless cos think it would be good change from the reading and writing we've been doing. It's those survival where u got to decide which items to choose n why.

Think she got inspired and chose to do something like that for the entire S3 level classes. But she planned it to be 2 lessons, yet only prepared 2 ws. One is survival questions with options, individual, then group consensus. One entire list of vocabulary words that are generated from the questions itself. Lastly is reflection sheet. She roped in the other Immersion teachers and got them to teach Day 1. I was told to follow up in Day 2... Though I still had to go in as assisting though I had no idea what was my role n what to do to assist...

The Immersion teachers had a pretty uneasy time going through either the scenario to explain the situation n or vocabulary... Didn't help that it's almost the end of the school year so they don't have the heart to continue. Plus when it's completely beyond some of their capacity in terms of the vocal, it became draggy n some shut off. So the Imm teachers tried humor, drawing, actions n mimic, sounds to make it interesting.

Today is my turn to continue where they left off... The group discussion to get their consensus and then gettin them to say their reasons in English. Super tough but I hear some English when I walked around and question the gp for their reason for choosing a certain answer.

After the answers were given n explained. I went into a 'Survival Pop Quiz' and some boys perked up. Given doomsday scenario, what to do in a given situation? After abt 6-7 scenarios, saw that they were tiring of it, went to the reflections. A bit over-stretch the timing, so they didnt finish the peer evaluation. Did write a note on the board for them to finish evaluating each other today n do the other at home.

I breathe a sigh after that. It's quite stressful cos I am kept on the edge due to the limited aspect of this. First off, the gp discussion is not that well facilitated. It did drag out a bit but still quite successful cos with exception of some boys, they did arrive at answers and reasons in English. But just that time stretched out. Actually it's hard on the teacher because we have absolutely no idea what is the purpose n goals of the lesson? Or is it just something to 'fill-time' cos the J-english can't get the class to do work, so "throw" at us as a sort of filler plus experimentation on next year's lessons? Cos ther's a plan to put us all into their English lessons. I will be entirely solo all the way... If this is a pre-cursor of things to come... I have reasons to be very worried of being over-worked.

Best part... I still have another of this survival lesson part 2 with another class in/ hours time... I want to make it fun for them but with the constraits of the gp activity, I am forsaking the vocabulary, it's hard to satisfy everything n I am under quite a bit of tension n stress to make sure things proceed smoothly, with speaking n writing in Eng plus fun elements.

This is really poor planning of the lesson. Suddenly all the onus is thrown onto the teacher... With no additional resources, I had to make an extra print-out to provide the link to English n reasoning, make a set of pics which I printed to serve as visual cues, search the Internet for doomsday scenario to do an impromptu pop quiz to spice things up. Why do I have to do these? Cos no proper planning went into this. You can't just rake an idea and "Nah, do this"

Obiang, Retro & Nerd Birthday Party

Earlier in the day, it was a mutiny. We headed out to buy some food cos couldnt take the monotony of "Zar Chai Fan". We walked around at a nearby mall, they bought snacks. Then a very bad case of coffee withdrawal hit me. It was a very bad pain near my right eye... Got my collegues worried enough that they dabaoed Starbucks coffee. I sipped a bit and the pain subsided but still remained until almost the end of the workday. We also dabaoed the huge chicken cutlet, doubled up from Astons back.

Lunch I ate some of the rice and the dishes, esp the veg and the soup, and half of the chicken cutlet. Think it was the opportunity to get out of the workplace, I remarked to them, "Zar Fan seems more tasty today" and they gave me the strangest look. Anyway later in the day, went to the Elementary to observe how the Eng lessons are conducted to get an idea of how to bridge the course. Need more resources instead of just a free rein. There's no instant tree to that.

Then much earlier before we headed out to dabao, I had made Choc Ice Cream and left it to cool before could freeze. After we came back, I used the ice cube tray and chuck into the freezer. That was about near 12. Around 4 plus, I checked on them, most are set and dug them onto two plates and then chuck into the freezer again. A few werent fully set and I ate them up while waiting and chatting with my local collegue in the kitchen. 5 mins before my time to knock off, I went down and walked around to get collegues to eat up cos its ice cream, melting quite fast. Was quite full by then I went home. Or more likely appetite spoilt by the early dessert. Waited until rain smaller then I headed out, by the time I reached the bus station to take bus 7, it was near 7pm. Then I msg to say definitely be late. Took more than an hour to reach...

Anyway I looked forward to the mass bdae party; Obiang, Retro and Nerd theme. It rained on the way back home. Then I went home, bathed and washed hair. Then it poured rather heavily. I waited until the rain was lighter then headed out. Had thought about taking the mrt but too risky. Later met students. I didnt put on all the 'accessories' but the overall look already very un-me. Plus students all live in the town and frequent town. So I settled for taking the bus. It might be slower but didnt expect it to be that slow with so many jams... well I was royally late. Ops.

I ordered the Beef Pasta and it was alright. Cos I arrived after an hour plus plus on the buses, I was hungry by then. Ate quite hungrily. A lot of photos and everyone dressed to the theme. It's an experience to remember. Too bad that the bar was full. By 11pm, I was feeling very tired. It had been a long day of sort, with all the going out, happenings plus the headache. I was falling asleep. Shared a cab with Krynnder and ZX, so glad they stay in west.

After I reached home, took a bath and washed my hair again. Think I was too tired and knocked out straight after lying on the bed. I woke up the next day rather early to do last minute guitar practice, havent touched for a week.

Met FH, Tab and Candle for wonton lunch. Then I owe FH coffee, needed to check out the ice cream maker and buy Taka vouchers. We had coffee at a new place and later got a shock when they charged us for a whole cake instead of a slice. I got a shock when I saw the bill about $120 for just 3 cakes and 4 drinks. On enquiring, they've mischarged. But still didnt get to treat FH his coffee. Next week then. While waiting for Tab, FH and I went to Kino and Art House. Candle left to go back to cook.

After FH left, I felt hungry and walked to buy sushi and water from the supermarket. Was tired by then and sat at the fountain, hoping not to be recognized while eating the sushi. So reminscient of the earlier student days of sushi and drink days. Tab came later and we walked around to look for stuff. Hours later, we ended up eating at our usual spot at the top of Ion. Its still supermarket sushi plus drink. I got Gucamole dips with wholegrain plain chips. That's my dinner. Tab had sashimi and sushi. We went back by mrt. I was also tired and slept soundly.

Today I spent the bulk of the day reading this book about the story of the sub-prime market and how it boomed and bust. Its a good read except I was rather short on time and energy to read through 500 pages of the book. Quite a number of times, after work, I read on the bed and feel asleep cos just tired. Today also. Woke up later and continued reading. Still got >150 pages to go but reached the part about the implosion. More exciting.

Tomorrow then book tickets and settle some stuff.

Cravings + No-Zhar-Chai-Peng Syndrome

It's just 3 days of eating tiffin lunch and suddenly the thought of western food crossed my mind. Then suddenly I start thinking of the various food that I would like to eat. Things like pasta, carrotcake and all the extremely unhealthy stuff that I would hardly eat when I have a choice of lunch.

When I had the power of lunch choice, I don't even consider such food at all. I might think of ordering them BUT then I would order something like rice, soup. But now, I am kinda sick of Zar Chai Fan. Not that it's horrible. In fact they are okay but it's the lack of choice. Not that the dishes are repeating but is the lack of food genre variety. And I am not alone in suffering this 'I want all the sinful stuff n extreme craving'.

My other two local collegues are suffering from it too. One is craving for pasta. The other is craving for very good food like ice cream, pizza. I am thinking of western food. OMFG... This is the type of occupation hazard that comes about from being deprived of a proper lunch with choices.

We are plotting our 'rebellion', at least go out 1-2 times cos at the current rate, food thoughts are plaguing us. Sign, I've already spoken out that I can't do it everyday , the whole year. Can't imagine Zar Chai Peng everyday for a year. I am those tulips who needs freedom of choice n variety. But currently I am suffering from the "No more Zar Chai Peng outside of work" syndrome.

And another consequence of that is the week suddenly seem to drag on forever... It's like is the bloody weekend ever coming? What? It's only Thursday. OMFG! This week lasts forever... Urgh I need to do something before more things quirks manifest...

Viva-lavida Lunch Freedom!

So tired

Yesterday I spent another $160, solely on food.

$60 is for tiffin lunch for this two weeks. Works out to be $6 per meal but is with 3 dishes and 1 soup. I was giving the security guards some instructions and payment cos I might be in class when the deliveryman comes. So kept on the edge. But things went smoothly.

Lunch was eaten with other local collegues in the kitchen area, away from prying eyes. I miss the freedom to go out for lunch. Its already 4 days since I've last gone out for lunch. Feeling kinda sick of the same environment for long hours.

The other $100 is for the next friday's farewell dinner. Its the last party for those who are returning back to Japan for good. The only consolation is that the venue is really cost $100+ type place. So my expectations are really high plus have to wear semi-formal. Dunno I havent go and tally up all the amount spent on those numerous level dinners, school dinners, three-school dinner, and those after-event dinners. Think easily could potentially add up to $1k, cos they always kena "katok". Later if I am bored, I shall do that. Next year if I am still continuing, I would just go for the school dinners and skip most of these.

I tio gastric after eating too much at lunch. We ordered tiffin for 2 pax, but the other collegue ate just some, kept asking me to eat. Then I over-eat plus maybe I dragged out the lunch. Tio gastric pain until evening when I reached home. I told my mom and she passed me some gastric medicine. Today I am not eating so much. Just enough to last until dinner. I even brought the gastric medicine to work just in case. But its really restrictive. In all my time eating out lunch, I've hardly gotten such a severe gastric before.... Signz

Feel asleep shortly after I've reached home. Postponed gym due to still having gastric pangs. Ate dinner and really so tired after like being on-the-edge. So tired. Woke up at around 10pm plus and then couldnt sleep as early. Woke up tired also. Need to make some changes again to make things better for me.

Praying and Planning

Today went to the temple nearby my workplace to pray to Tai Sui. Apparently today is a lucky day thing cos there were quite a number of people at the temple all praying, burning joss paper. So I followed my mum's instructions and my sister and I whom clash with Tai Sui did our pray thing. Hope for things to be smooth and good, for health, work and personal also. After that we ate lunch at the nearby hawker centre and took a bus home.

Reached home, was so tired, I fell asleep watching Japan Hour. Its a good source of seeing the sights available in diff areas though I am not familar with the areas yet. (Should borrow a travel guide too) Woke up around 4.30pm, surprised that I slept and also effectively missing gym cos the gym closes at 5pm.

Watched the Chingay on tv cos my collegues are involved in it, so I told them I would watch it. In case they ask me tomorrow, I can say I did watch it. Even recorded it using the cable box.

Made last batch of tiramisu using a modified way of mixing the coffee into the cream.... ended up with very watery cream... Just made it and chuck into the fridge. Hope it will be edible and less liquidy... Man a waste if its ruined.

Then I proceeded to clean up the dishes, made a fried egg-white sandwich from the leftover egg white of tiramisu-making plus ate 2 fingers soaked in alcoholic coffee, and mixed the alcoholic coffee with some milk and drank that. Erm think overshot the calories.
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As long as I still havent sign on the dotted line for another year of contract. There are still uncertainities; whether I would be renewed (cos they might take the clarification plus compromise as troublesome) I have been wondering... whether this can be a career. Seems not much of prospect. I do know that my financial target if I am renewed is to save up to $50k as personal reserve. Also this can be helped by the use of extra share investment gains this year. On both ends, I hope to target $20 put aside. Cos I am not getting younger. This job is not stable. Even if I am renewed this year, no one knows for the next or the following. The lack of security is there. Also I would appear as an older worker then already. So job-search also not going to be easy...

In order to focus on things that I can influence and do; Save up extra for personal reserve, pick up new skills, build up current strengths into more marketable skills. All these take time and effort on my part. These would be the work-related things-to-do once I am renewed.

If I am not, I have thought about backup. But as have plans to travel, so would have to take place after I come back. Would use the time to do some stuff like getting new IC, medical health check. Things are not fixed in stone. Some plans depends on the next step before re-action can be taken. Have to see how things play out in less than a month's time.

At least I am more motivated and not plagued by so many ambiguities and concerns on my part. I've asked about the ones that I am most concerned about. Whether that was a wrong step to take, good step to take, I just wanna be clearer on what I am getting into. Cos its not continuing my current position, but a brand new position and stuff. Hence the big confusion. Plus they werent clarifying at all. So it was really messy if you think through the implications, work scope and responsibilities and own concerns plus some basic treatment. On the whole, I dont regret asking. The ball is out of my court.

I shall just focus on getting through the next two weeks, eating 'tiffin lunch' ordered in from a vendor serving our area. I miss the change in environment, really. Also making sure I remain thrifty and continue saving up, managing my stocks, being productive at workplace doing my job. Also to continue my personal pursuit.
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Tom would have to run some errands to fix up the Taipei trip. More or less settled, just need my sister to check whether she can get her leave approved. Its her first time there. I have to make sure things go well partly cos I suggested it to her. She is noob, she is family and I am the elder. So have banking to do to transfer money to my debit card account, enough to pay flight and hotel. Things which I am doing for the first time.

So quite looking forward to it cos went there in 2006. That time on a shoe string budget. Now have deeper pockets. Dunno if a budget of $1k spending money is too little? Hmm still have quite a bit of research to do about the Taipei city itself maybe library for travel guides. But we are not the museums type. So good enough to be shopping around, eating, walking around, bookshops, comic shops, cd shops... those sort of stuff. I did look through travel packages and decided... nah I am not a "You Shan Wan Shui" type of person. The itenary to the mountains of Taiwan and the remote don't appeal.

Busy with more errands - preparation

Had a whole bunch of errands to run after guitar today.

Go PS to get obiang props and accessories, check out a travel agency packages, check out price of Ice-cream maker. Buy Toto.

FH messaged and we met to discuss the proposed trip to Japan over pancakes. Before I met him, I went to Po Mo and got Toto for 2 draws. Then walked back over to get seats.

Due to many things still not settled, decided to call off. So most likely I would be planning a trip to Taipei. But I needed more information about whether free-and-easy packages are better. Took a bunch of papers. Couldnt ask questions cos the salesperson busy. So I just bring back as a reference point to do some research. Seems not. At least there was a whole bunch of hotels (that I just searched up the prices) its actually cheaper cos the package was for a 3D2N, but I searched up for 5D4N and they came up to about the same price. SO... I would rather go for the DIY. Found out I can use my Debit card with Visa to pay for it. Only I need to make sure there are enough funds inside. Okay fair enough. Its a simple plan, we are going to get a hotel right smack in Xi Meng Ding and then travel about from there, using the mrt system there to explore around. Its more flexible of sort and enough days to be able to experience the food and stuff. Its also not a mad-rush. Something I prefer in the holidays.

Then in PS, I went to Daiso to look for "obiang" accessories cos I asked my sisters and they dont have obiang stuff. They do have many metal trinklets but they dont look obiang. So after looking through, I found enough accessories to really make an 'obiang' statement. I asked my sister if she got obiang clothes to lend me, she is going to lend me a top that looks suitable. Seems if 'accessorise' enough, can look obiang... K bottom, maybe use work style pants. Left feet. I got many pairs of lady's slippers not worn. Okay can. See how it goes. I dont want to buy some obiang clothes and then not wear it forever and ever (though Tab hinted she would take whatever I bought and would never wear again...)

I was in PS, then I remembered the Vines wine that Carrefour might at times, offer the steep discount. So I walked into the wines section. Behold, all the bottles and flavours were there on discount. Each is slightly less than $10. Its a discount of about $7 compared to normal retail price. I bought another 6 bottles, getting 2 new flavours, Strawberry +Kiwi and the other blend of wine with blueberry and 3x of the popular chardonney. Had to lug everything home on public transport. Luckily I got a bus with seats and sat all the way back from PS to my area. Changed bus at the interchange and arrived home safely.

The ice-cream maker is not available in the small outlet. Would have to go to Taka but I didnt want to go there with the bottles, so will need to do that another time.

Back up plans + Travel destinations

Dunno if this addessing of areas of concern would be consrued as "troublesome" and then they won't renew my contract. I have to prepare a back-up plan just in case. But given the plans to travel, so even a job search would have to start after I come back.

With the term holidays coming, I haven't heard anything concrete with regards to the trip. It's irritating cos on one hand I am trying to figure out these whole bunch of stuff at work plus the issue of the period of holiday a ailable. Then a collegue knows of my intention to plan for a trip. She's telling me of certain good flight deals. But while they are good, I have yet to hear anything from other parties about more concrete things like how many days, plan interary or areas to visit. I am starting to get second thoughts about this. It's like I am working on it but nobody else is, so the irritation is really there.

My youngest sister is keen to go Taiwan. There are also deals for tix there. We are contented to stay and explore the Taipei city for several days. Overall for a 5d4n trip after the local March holiday, is $900+ person for flight n hotel, flight is via SQ, so in comfort. So... If nothing is gonna happen for this Jap trip, I rather go with my sister to Taipei. I asked her and she is rather keen it. I don't mind going with her, at least I know the itenary, plans can be made faster n tix n hotel booked...thinking if I need to get a credit card to make bills easier.

Hmm...

Seems to be somewhere.... more is expected

Hmm after 3 rounds of talks with the P. The first being an improto one, which I was asked to go in. I raised concerns with regards to the course, I thought it was to gather feedback on the course that was planned for me to teach, not anything related to my own terms. So the issues and concerns I raised were solely about those. Then out-of-the-blue, the no lunch-out was requested, that I couldnt rebutt at that time. Just came out 'shocked?'

After, it hung on my mind, for more than 2 weeks. Even into CNY, it was somewhat at the back of my mind. Then I decided during CNY holidays, that I would draft out a letter with the areas of concern then explain the reasons and compromise or clarification needed. My plan was to submit to P and Management so that, they are 'aware' of my personal concerns which arent being addressed. I didnt ask for immediate answers but hope that they would be clarified soon before the contract signing.

So I went in a second time yesterday armed with my letter plus a translator whom I showed the letter to and I talked it over with the P. I would have to compromise on the lunch thingy. It seems that my freedom to go out of workplace freely to eat lunch for an hour is seen by some collegues as being unequitable, not fair. Also it would affect my standing in their eyes. Huh??? The end is that they hope I would try to follow their practice of eating-in as much as I could, and if I have to leave to buy back, I do so discreetly... How discreet can one be when I am supposed to be seated at my place in an open-concept office. Err when I suddenly disappear and appear with a obviously-telling bag of dabaoed food??? Well, I told them as far as I can, I will try to eat in and buy in before work but I cant do it everyday. Its really too much to ask for to do it everyday.

So far this week, I have eaten inside for 2 days in a row. Its cos I have duties that meant shortened lunch of 20mins, hence have to buy-in and eat. Feeling quite duh already. Today I bought a big pack of Nasi Lemak for breakfast, but couldnt finish, so I left the rest for lunch. Eat-in again? I miss a change in environment but guess I have to compromise by eating in more often. Maybe I try 3 days inside, 2 days buy-in or 1 buy-in, 1 eat-out... I miss going out already...

Just 20mins ago, I was asked to go in again. I am not going to be treated the same as the other I-teachers, whose contract differs from mine. He said that my contract type is another, the locally-hired contract. Hence instead of like yesterday, when in the 2nd meeting, he said that I should be treated like the I-teachers, hence the pre-term period, dont need to come back at all. Now it seems I would have to come back still. But he would give an exception, that they would notify me which days I need to come back for certain meetings. Because I told him that I came in last year and did absolutely nothing. Having nothing to do from 8.15am - 5pm is really really very mentally taxing. I had to occupy myself with work, like looking through the files, syllabus, tbs and seeing how simple things were... then my active mind kept thinking of workstuff. So that is a good consideration... though still sian that I cant travel during that period, but its clearer than before, where everything was unclear and when I asked it was out-right come back.

Another issue that was brought up was which department do I belong to. In yesterday's meeting, he said that I should belong to the Eng, but be treated like the I-teachers. But today, it's hinted that I might probably be assigned to a level and be a sub-homeroom teacher. It would mean I would have to be in the assigned class for the before-lesson and after-lesson thingy daily. I told him that this year I was a sub, but I dont have a class, so I help out with the level I was assigned. I also say out my thought that if there are extra teachers and they just assign there to be 2 subs, it becomes very redundant. A better use would be to assign me a level and when any of the subs cant make it, need help, I go in or come along. Also must let the level teachers know that I can help out. That is a more efficient use.

Then that was the end of it for now.

Hopefully they can be more efficient and plan out things that can be a good use of time and energy. I know that for certain, next contract year, I would be much more busy and 'well-used' compared to this year. Also freedom is consequently being reduced. Hope the salary would be appropriate though. I dont want to take on so much stuff and be paid just a bit more than what I am getting now... That is something they are not able to tell me until I see the contract. But what then if its too low??? Dunno.

Its better now that certain issues are being clarified so that I dont have to second-guess, third-guess, fourth-guess everything that is being said. Dont get everything my way but still at least there's compromise and more consideration for the difference in culture and hence the practice. I would have to see how much of it can I stomach...

Investment and Financial Bias

I have been slowly doing some reading over the past few weeks. Partly cos at work, sometimes really dunno how to kill the time. Others is that I wanna learn something else but of course have to start somewhere. So I have been borrowing some books from the library and slowly reading through. Be it somedays at work, somedays in my free time at home, reading a bit just before I sleep, on days where I dont have assignment or the courses, on weekends. Its good again to be reading stuff, both fictional and non-fictional and financial-related.

Among the few books that I have finsished so far, is a book about all the different types of bias that we have in the area of investment and finance. While reading through, I can see that I have quite a few of these bias. Eg a common one is that investors cannot stand Losses. A loss is felt 2.25times more than a gain. That's why we dont like to cut-loss on a wrong stock pick or when prices are falling. That is very true for me. Even more pronounced in my Dad.

Another is the belief that you are very competent and can influence the outcome or have superior knowledge of investment compared to others. This over-confidence in oneself can also explain why some portfolios are not diversified and solely concentrated in either equities or just those few counters. This is also something I am guilty of. My Dad even more.

There are many more biasness like recency bias, anchoring bias etc though I cant remember all, but I try to remind myself of such inherent bias-ness when going through more decisions and while still managing my own portfolio.

Its already in Feb, and I have 0 realized gains. I will remember the most recent lesson: where I sold off one batch of shares to 'realize' last year's 2nd target but in Jan, it shot up 34% more... So though I somewhat "Xin Tong' the supposedly perceived loss of the extra 34% gains but I have to remind myself of 2 things. First is that I made that decision to sell then so have to live with it. Secondly another financial maxim which I think is really really meaningful to this peceived 'selling-too-early' is "No One Ever Got Hurt Taking A Profit". It makes perfect sense. Irregardless, as long as the dollar end up in the pocket, dont be too engrossed over whether it could have been more or less.

With an understanding of how some of these bias affects certain behaviours, it helps to make somewhat better decisions and better deal with the outcome when those decisions were made. It makes things less of so beyond one's control. At least that's what it is for me.

Ambiguity to the maximum

With the fact that though I spoke with the P earlier last week, there was no questions asked about MY terms at all. So after hearing the thing about no lunching out. I was rather blue. Its really stiffling to be at the workplace from morn til late afternoon.

So after talking through with another local collegue, I decided to pen down what are my areas of concern. I actually asked our acting head, Headless (with whom working relations is improving cos I tried harder to control myself and she also stepped up a bit more) about these concerns. Being new herself, she said that I should speak with the P again, with her helping to translate. So unlike other dept where another local collegue could get her head to help clarify things, ours cant. No fault of hers really cos she's new too.

I already finished drafting out the areas of concern in a letter already. Just that it appears long cos I actually spelt out in writing the reasons for the concerns. I would have to show her my letter first, give her some time to look through, then find the P free and talk again. I dont think I would be inspired nor motivated if some area of compromise and clarification is not done about this.

While talking through the concerns to headless, and hearing some of the things she said, be it her opinion or just reliterating the P's earlier words. Some of them sounded kinda hollow. Not sure if its the translation aspect of it. I would attribute it to cultural difference and expectations.

We had tried earlier to get them to clarify the work scope cos from the start until now, nothing is said. Then there is this consensus of sort that they felt we had different treatment from them, how they wanted to cooperate more with us etc etc. If nothing is clarified, to what extent can we say we have or have not fulfilled the terms of the contract or how we performed? Though mine is overall very positive, but these area of concerns can better help me be motivated and focused at work. Instead of living in ambiguity. Some amount of ambiguity is fine but if everything is ambiguious, like whether I am supposed to be involved in stuff, the level of involvement...

Judging from things, I wont be able to travel in early April period with all these ambiguities. All travelling to be done from 17th March onwards until 31st March.

Sian @ work

Change is in the air.

There are plans to make us into full Eng teachers teaching lessons to advance learners, conducted purely in Eng. Yet remumeration is not going to be discussed until the contract renewal time in March. So because of that, the April period would have to work?? Irritating! Next was the ultimate thing that caused me to be so blue! P said along the lines that they expect us to eat-in lunch at workplace everyday COS it's their practice at the workplace. This despite the condition in my contract stipulating we could go out to eat lunch. I am quite put off by this because as there is no concept of personal space, open office concept, I have no other rooms to go to on my own (maybe hide in the kitchen), it's a very stifling place. My only chance to have a change of environment is lunch where I can walk out, eat an unhurried warm meal, relax then walk back. IF I don't have it, I'll be quite depressed n repressed in the constantly no personal space environment. Unfortunately the P mentioned it, he said alot and there seems to be no room for nego. Again the contract renewal is in a separate place with another board member, so will have to mention this.

I see no reasons why I have to comply immediately for the remaining of this school year.see how the contract renewal session goes...