Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Work stinks... *wonders why am I still here?

Yar this is the period of time where every Educator is facing the stress of results and the huge admin work of churning out the report book. Its just too mind-boggling to even begin how manual the process is and how much time is taken. Time that has to be squeezed out somehow within such tight deadlines. One word -sucks

Today went with my youngest sister to Suntec to look for my other's sister bdae gift. Yep, technically NOW is her bdae but she's asleep. We went to look around for stuff. Walking past shops after shops. Finally bought something for her. Then we ate at Carls' Jr and took 2 buses home. By then its near 10.30pm++, I left near 6.20pm, reached there near 7pm. Dead tired. Just bathe and online n its already past midnight.

Lately having alot of working blues. Yar I look at my tummy. Its getting bigger.

Ever since practicum, I havent been exercising regularly.
Ever since my posting to my current place, I havent been eating meals regularly and well.
Ever since I started full-time, I havent sleep too peacefully. Been needing my Shandy dose to help to sleep for increasing number of consecutive nights.
Ever since I started since contract, my eyebags are getting blacker. This night-owl body clock clashing with the morning nature of the job is getting unbearable.

But what is keeping me back?

The bond, rather forcefully, with a hefty remaining penalty of $17.8k.
If not, who is so silly to hang around with so much pain? Not physical pain, discounting my irritating bowels in the mornings. But alot of mental pain, anguish that hurts more than physical pain at times. Have to try to let go. Alot of negativity isnt good for health either. Yet not tat many positive boosts along the way.

After so much downs, are there any Ups for this line? I guess there is, if one genuinely enjoys being around children, loves children, loves learning and imparting learning.

I guess I am not such a great Educator. Just a very ordinary human who values work-life balance and personal time that seems lacking. Personally I am okay with them. But after working quite a fair bit and seen quite a number, I am somewhat glad to be single. Dun think I want to have children UNLESS I seriously love the guy to want to bear his kids. Wont want to be in a situation 24/7, 365 days, up til 18years old. I seriously need to reconsider this offer.

K thats all my negative thoughts for now. Going to drink Shandy and wake up earlier... cos got lotsa things tom.

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