In denial

Denial.

That kind of sums up what I felt after my first day of work, on Friday.

Heaved a sigh of relief at the weekend to recover, but then denial kicks in.

Why the feeling?

Well I guess I did enjoy the hols way too much.

I enjoyed the routine, I kinda set up.

Somewhat along the lines of sleeping late to watch dvds, sleeping in late, waking up and just login to Poems to track stock prices, sit infront and do some calculations, going online at leisure, going out with Mom and Dad at times. Inbetween practicing the guitar, Maple, going out.

All without 'WORK' at the back of my head. In fact, its completely out of the picture.

So after the some-what traumatic first day, denial mode kicked in. Went for guitar in a zombified mode, after that wanted to hang around but nobody, so went home and practiced guitar. But work is hanging in the back of the head. SIAN.

Saturday, I jio Tab to go out shopping at CentrePoint cos I needed a wardrobe change. Before that, Friday night, I slept really late. Woke up and pia Maple until I was late to meet Tab. Later met her, we walked around and eventually after a lot of tries, I bought a pair of pants. Its more expensive but the material is good. Then we walked to PS. Both of us tried our hands at the basketball, the Jukebox game. Later went for dinner at Cathay. Headed back to PS cos thought Quetzal wanted to join us. When she wasnt coming, we headed to explore a bit the area near my guitar school, namely the Minds cafe and the Manga Kissaten (comic cafe) The environment quite okay. Then we headed to the Coffee Club and plonked ourselves down.

Sunday, today I went out to a nearby neighbourhood dept store and bought 2 more pairs of pants. They are much cheaper and I have actually noticed them while walking past almost everyday. Took 3 and tried. Then bought 2. Walked around with my mom for errands and went home. I was feeling more settled after going out the day before but I am still conciously trying to forget the work-at-the-back-of-my-head. Mapled and then headed out nearby to meet up with JC friends. When we met up and talked over dinner and later over dessert, I told them straight not to ask me about work, I would refuse to talk about it. Unlike them, most, if not all are talking about their jobs. I listen and wonder why?

Is it professional pride? Given that my friends are all professionals. Plus we meet up about once every 6 months, hence to catch up on the changes in jobs etc etc. Another might be that at this age, there's not much else to talk about, or that with long absence, its seems to be the common topic.

For my case, its not that I am ashamed of my job, but more of that fact, that it has taken a huge chunk of my time and requires lots of effort such that on my non-working time/days, I would like to put it aside. Plus given the fact that work does linger still (occupation hazard) hence it requires a conscious effort to push it aside if I find myself thinking about it, worrying, feeling sian about it. So I dun need to be reminded of it more by being questioned about it, by discussing about it.

Hopefully the next week will be better. Whether I like it or not, the week is coming.

My extra resolution is to make sure I can afford a longer break by saving, managing and investing my money to make it a reality.