Zzzz

That's what I just wanna do.

Lie down on my bed, close my eyes and not wake up.

That's how tired I feel.

Like how Tab aptly put it,
feel tired when waking up,
feel tired before work starts,
feel tired during work,
feel tired after work,
feel tired before sleep...
and the cycle continues.

An aspect I've shared is that after a certain point, one feels kinda empty. There's nothing inside cos often have to reach in, to the reserves to grab something to hold. Until there's nothing left, not even the reserves.

Was talking to Tab and she wisely mentioned not even resorting to digging into the reserves at all. Wise sage Tab, who seems to sprout alot of work-wisdom. Will try to rebuild my depleted reserves during the coming holidays and incorporate some into workdays too (if its realistically possible)

Just reached home from Jap and dinner, just had my bath and now just switched on my laptop for about 15mins. I am gonna sleep. Eyes closing. Partly tired, partly I just took my medication and its supposedly cause drowsiness, hopefully will help me sleep without waking up for every little noise I hear.

NITE

Cold War

Signz, next time I am gonna keep my mouth shut whenever I feel the edges of irritation flaring up. Guess what, ever since Tuesday, my Dad's been giving me the cold shoulders ie leng zhan. He absolutely havent spoken one word to me.

The cause?

A piece of sandwich. Kinda a stupid story, was telling Tab about it.

I am not sure IF I want to apologize (ego thingy and also stubborn pride) But if he doesnt want to talk, fine by me. I will still go about closing the door when he falls asleep, switching off the tv etc when he falls asleep. At least for the past few days, I havent been asked to drink his soup, eat dinner for nth times even when I tell him I have just eaten.

I am just going to become magically DUMB next time something similar flares up... Just keep my mouth SHUT and mumbles incoherently to myself if I cannot stand it...

Gastric plus tummyache

Ya yesterday had a bit of a tummyache, followed this morning too. Then think I did another phelgm cake, but as I coughed out my Horlick, cant tell definitely. Then today worked almost non-stop plus late until 7.30+ so by the time I reach home, I feel the pangs of hunger change into gastric. After dinner, its been aching dully. Sian.

Tom is another SIONG day. Going in much much earlier, cos want to clear one stack of workbook and admin stuff before remedial starts. Sian I dun feel like sleeping so early. Not to mention, the place is kinda noisy with the tv on still. Dunno if I can manage to sleep even if I turn in early *grumbles grumbles*

This is my cue to take the medication which would cause sleepiness. Yar I be doing that, then go lie down.

Rain, claypot rice, salsa, durian and ice-cream

Yar as per the title, these are the main things of today.

Met up with JC friends for a simple dinner. Though it was a rainy, wet day. Ate at the famous claypot rice in my area. Hmm taste okay to me, cos I hardly ever eat claypot and cant judge it cos nothing much to compare to. Later I bought a big bottle of salsa, to go with the chips at LB's place. Its good :P 'Converted' more fans to salsa with chips.

Also bought a pack of durian, its bittersweet. Not sure if its D24, mao shan wang. After that we watched the closing ceremony for the Beijng olympics and ate another famous ice-cream in my area. Its a nice and cosy place to hang a bit, eating and drinking hot green tea on a rainy day. Its a peaceful environment, my home is noiser due to my Dad and the tv which is perpetually on.

As opposed to Tab's place which brings to mind, alcohol, tonnes of chips, fast food and lots of lame jokes. FH's place also brings to mind, fast food and space for Wii in the future?

Siren

My laptop is back after getting the screen changed on Saturday. But it flickered on Sat still. Now its not flickering. I am going to observe a bit more then send in for repairs again. Man, its hard to live without my laptop. Cant monitor the stock market, cant blog, cant read and watch stuff online. Had to borrow from sister when they are not using. Yet the internet is really slow on theirs and certain pages take forever to load. Also the files that I have on my laptop are not there. So updating of certain files are not done for about a week.

One more week

One more week of work to endure before I fly. Fly to 'huan yuan' or give thanks to the 4-faced Buddha. This time pray harder for wealth. No need to distract and pray for many things like health, relationship or even work.

WEALTH can solve them all. At least, it can ease up on things like work and work-stress issues. Also with work out of the way, can ease up on time to do healthier things like working out, getting some much-needed recharge time. And free up on time aspect to go about socializing and doing things I like. Yar I have decided, just ask for one thing only- wealth. But remembering Tab's advice, it going to be a very specific thing.

Saturday

Hmm I realized that Saturdays are now getting kinda boring. The reason is that from 2 weeks ago, Jap class is on Weds. So after 5 years of having NO sats, suddenly its free. But I havent been doing much 'interesting' stuff on Sat.

I slept late, went back to work once. This sat, I went to fetch Siren back from repairs and later slept in cos feeling tired. Quetzal tried to jio me for the Singapore fireworks but the wet weather plus fatique so I declined. Not sure if I wanted to go gym on Sat also. Maybe too much of a good thing, plus its kinda boring also to do the same routine 3 times.

So where does that leave me? My family not going out together, my sisters went out also, leaving me at home with parents. Parents not doing anything else besides watching tv. Plus I dun wanna fight with my dad for the tv control to watch the cable tv which I am paying for. Going out for the sake of going out also not a solution. Usually go out on friday evenings with friends for dinner and stuff.

Hmm... maybe I should find out and sign up for guitar classes. If not designate Sat for something meaningful and regular than just sleeping in, going back to work.

Errand errands... life's full of them

Ever feel like your days are taken up with errands?

Yet at times its difficult to run them on weekdays with work in the way and the fact that many places dun open on weekends.

Take me for example, just this week alone.

Mon - send laptop for repair before work
Tue - work early so after work, bought new shoes needed
Wed - rush for jap class after work
Thur - went to gym after work
Fri - Meet insurance advisor after work
Sat - fetch laptop, go back for work to finish up stuff, see if go downtown later to check out some animation course and stuff
Sun - go gym, meet jc friends

Those are just the main errands. In-between there's cutting my hair (actually sitting thru it), paying of bills, checking out the guitar classes???

Kinda tired after work, so like can only run one errand at a time. And the list is endless. The reason why some stuff like gym, jap class are considered errands is cos they take up time and energy and effort to finish, the alternative would be for me to head straight back home and just sleep, cos that's what I feel like almost every single night nowadays.

True enough the medicine I am taking is making me sleepy. BUT partly also the accumulated fatique and sleep debt. Like not getting enough and yet waking up earlier and earlier. Even on days when I dun have to be so early, I get woken up at 5am, 7am etc etc. Its tiring. Need something to knock me out completely. Yar be heading to bed real soon, eyes are super tired.

Weekend pls come quickly and sooner. Think I shall cut down on the drinking to chill policy. It shall be the HEALTHY alternative of drinking green tea, or hot tea if necessary.

Siren (laptop) come back quickly so I can surf at faster speed unlike my sister's laptop. Dun have to 'borrow' to surf.

Dilemna of Singlehood

Doubtful of this, cos just input name and got this tarot. Hmm...

You Are The Fool

You are a fascinating person who is way beyond the concerns of this world. Young at heart, you are blissfully unaware of any dangers ahead. You are a true wanderer - it has be difficult finding your place in this world. Full of confidence, you are likely to take a leap of faith. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a new phase in your life. This may mean changing locations, jobs, friends, or love status. You are open about what the future will bring, and free of worry. You have made your peace with fate, and you're ready to start down your new path.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Others

Usually I am not one to comment about any measures after the national day rally. Cos being a non-Singaporean, it doesnt include me at all, maybe unless its cpf related or hdb-flat related.

Have read this divide between the Singles and the Married, regarding their work and their performance a few weeks back. The matter of fact is that both sides are valid. Married moms have to go/rush back home to look after their kids hence couldnt do as much cos there is just that amount of time in a day. Singles and those without life, end up having to shoulder the load. Though there are those who employed temporary help, but not all. Both sides were arguging how Married lose out cos their performance is perceived to be less, how the Singles were 'rewarded' for their longer hours by performance or promotion.

Well as more measures are being drawn up for Married and maternity. It seems again the Singles will lose out. Looking at the extended leave for childcare and maternity. Is there going to be some sort of 'enhanced' leave for Single?

Just looking at those different categories of leave which applies to my industry. The only leave I can take is 1 day for convocation and medical leave and berevement leave (choy choy) Leave for HDB, marriage, honeymoon, childcare, maternity dun apply blah blah.

Well true enough, maybe performance may be viewed better but it meant NO work-life balance, in the aspect of longer hours for work, lack of social life etc etc. Not to mention the fact that Singles are the sons/daughters of someone else too, they may not have a young child but they have family and personal life still.

Its a dilemna.

Oh yar, btw I am 'expiring' and my expiry date is drawing closer each single moment I am unattached. Yet I am not ready to take on the role of Motherhood, being a surrogate one for work is somewhat more than enough for me. The responsiblilities and hours are not what I am ready to put in at the moment.

Guess for now, I can live with this choice.
If have, then okay. If no have, means no have lor. Just need to ensure can live with any single siblings or if not, then alone lor, to help take care of one another.

Gyming again

Imagine around 7.40am, you hear Abba's 'Dancing Queen' and then open your eyes. So no more sleep for me. I was lying in bed thinking, who's the fucker who decided to play his/her stereo so loudly in the morning. I had the urge to stuff the radio up his/her ass. It turned out to be some sound check for some Community event happening just next block, the speakers facing my room lor. Basket!

K fine, went to the gym given my aches have subsided. Reached a bit too early. It only opened at 9am, so I went to queue for Toto and buy a Teh peng. By the time, its open.

Headed for the treadmill for warm-up. Intended to run 1.2km but after 800m, it got too boring for me. Though I wasnt out of breath, it was too monotonous. The music from my mp3 wasnt helping to distract my mind from the boredom of running and seeing the same scenary (ie myself on the treadmill). So near 900m, I decided to slow and just walk a bit to cool down and then headed to weights. Did my usual.

The 3 week's absence meant that my 'fittness' wasnt as good. It meant certain weights weighed heavier than it did, BUT it still feels good to work out and sweat. I feel stronger after. Did still retain some strength though others would need more sessions to recover to what it was.

The irritating thing is my weight. At the ultimate heaviest point in my life... Man that makes it like 9-10kg to lose. Signz one step at a time. For now, try to bump up gym session to twice a week. One on a weekday maybe thur and one on Sunday. Have to do a bit of cardio and really watch what I eat. Dun like this flabby self. Arms flabby, legs flabby, fat thighs, tummy bigger. Anyway 2 months more until Krynnder's wedding. Hope to really lose some serious weight.

Muscle Aches... Argh

Its not a good idea to skip working out for too long cos what happens after the workout is the Muscle Aches. As mentioned earlier, I had gone to the gym on Thur.

Think I overdid a bit for the arms and legs, and the fact that I had forgotten to apply muscle cream - anasalagic cream before I slept, meant I woke up to slightly aching muscles, mainly on that pecs, rectus and gastrocnemius, which means I have aches when I lift my arms cos muscles under my shoulder is hurting. I experience aches when I lift my thighs and when I climb stairs, the back of my calves ache also.

The aches got more pronounced later in the evening, either is delayed reaction or what. Last night, couldnt take walking around too long after dinner. Bought water and went home. Felt really tired cos I stayed back to clear stuff until quite late, given my duties ended considerably early. Reached home early, near 11pm and had a warm bath, put on the anasalgic cream.

BUT this morning, the aches still there. Didnt feel like going to the gym. Instead went to help dabao some famous Loh Mee. Ate then slept like in a coma. Woke up near 5pm. The day is mostly over... Dunno what to do with myself.

Been watching the Olympics and watching the athelete's physique, I wanna get myself into shape. Tom definitely going gym, aches or no aches.

Err I dun see you eating fruits leh?

After work, I went for my appointment, then went home.

Decided then to drag my sorry fat-ass to the gym cos I've not gone in 3 weeks, reason being Jap grad for one, and woke up too hungry for two others. Met my JC friend Lb, who was walking back to her home.

Later I met her at the gym. Both of us working out for different reasons, me being fat, her being stressed and exercise helps to relax and sleep better. That is one aspect of exercise that is good.

Not only manage your weight, give you more energy, helps you sleep better, anti-stress hormones released, regulate your appetite (cos wont be too hungry) and also preserve your looks (notice how body builders body looks very young despite the guy being an Ah Pek age, even the Ah Pek's face dun look that old)

Hurry to the nearest gym near you.

After our workout, we walked around a bit to get a drink and dabao dinner for her. When I reached home, I 'remembered' the dinner, my dad had sent my bro to the train station and hence dabaoed 2 packs of Nasi Brani. That's the dinner, I forgot.

Here's the deal, you've gained weight. You just spent slightly longer than 1hour working out hard in the gym, even running 10mins on the treadmill on top of weights and machines. Hence when you see the dinner of Nasi Brani, its a BIG NO NO.

I decided to cook my curry magee mee with one egg white. Yar my dad's fear of EGGS has rubbed me off and I try to eat 2-3 per week. So, ate near to 2 for this week liao, so I decided to separate the egg yolk and white and just add the white to the mee. Then tell myself as I am slurping my mee that it 'has' egg yolk inside cos its the nicest part.

My mom was at the table and looking at me eating the mee. Then she asked me,

"Eh, dun really see you eat fruits. Where'd you get your fibre?"

My response went along the lines of 'I have no prob getting fibre, as evidenced by my clock-work bowels every day... I do eat vegetables at work place or when I eat out. Though fruits, I dun really eat but sometimes I drink fruit juices.'

She looked at me and said,

"Need to get vitamins from fruits, vegetables not enough."

'I got eat la. Every night, you shove a serving of cherries/ apple/ orange / grape/ whatever fruits you buy. So thats my fruits lor. Been eating cherries for the past few days...'

She seemed satisfied with my response and I continued eating my magee mee. Though its like carbo and protein but at least not as fattening as Nasi brani right? Later she chugged a Plum plus grapes to me, which I obediently finished...

Oh well, I better start making better food choices. Krynnder's wedding in 2 months, and I have 8kg to shed otherwise, dunno if can fit into that red top and black pants? Esp the pants part... seriously have prob fitting into a number of pants/jeans... Its a warning sign. I better kick my fat butt (which is really getting fat, cos fat has accumulated there...) and really choose better food and work out more often.

The only GREEN thing I hate

That dubious honour of being the only Green item I genuinely hate is the Green Bean Soup. For the record, I hate Red Bean Soup also. Hate those Chinese dessert that uses Rice to make like those kuays or whatever.

It wasnt always like this... I used to kinda like Green bean soup... until at least 7-8 years ago, my mom dunno heard from somewhere that its more nutritious to soak the green beans overnite until they sprout a bit and THEN cook it. It resulted in this whole green bean soup that resembled bean sprouts cos you could see the mini sprouts and the taste was HORRIBLE. I was undeniably scarred for the rest of my life. From hence forth, GBS joined the long list of Chinese style food that I hated.

This morning, as I woke up early (have got to go in earlier), I was greeted with ANOTHER bowl of green bean soup. You gotta be joking... two consecutive days. Man, I dun want to eat it for breakfast, its DISGUSTING. When I asked her why, she said that since my bro came out yesterday, and the GBS is good for 'pai du' (remove toxins in the body), she'll cooked some more.

The only consolation for me is that she gave me a much much smaller serving than yesterday after I complained and whined and ate yesterday's one with a very long face but its still not small enough for me. I rather it just be one green bean in a small bowl of soup. NOT so many disgusting beans floating in the soup. OMG!!! Its my breakfast.

I sm grudgingly eating bits of it so that I wont waste her effort in cooking it but still I am not a HAPPY person eating it. Guess I wont be a happy person later on, my empty stomach being taken up by GBS when I rather fill it with other stuff... Now I have to eat later, when I have regained my appettite for real food.

Nothing much to do...

Its a rather nice day today yet I am feeling bored.

Bored cos I woke up very early 8am due to the sun. Now I cant get back to sleep. So instead I got up, bathed and even ate the green bean soup my mom made (ate it with a long face... hate Chinese dessert esp so early in the morning, on an empty stomach. Its supposedly cooling, to help with the heatiness)

My dad and sister went to JB, but I couldnt go cos of the medical appointment later in early afternoon. Now the skies are darkening a bit, think I wanna try to sleep again. It seems a waste not to do anything, but I am still feeling the fatique from the past few late nights and NOT in the mood to mark my dabaoed work. Forget it. I just make use of today as I see fit.

Nothing much, except I am contemplating whether I should also send my laptop for servicing later after the appointment, plus check on some other errands and do them all at one shot... Dunno just feel lazy at the moment. Guess its the not-enough-sleep-cos-of-bright-sunlight-and-noisy-bird syndrome.

DJ-ing

Managed to get my hands on DJ max portable but cant do the link disc unless its in disc mode... *wonders* how...

Maybe I should check out the price of the disc itself...

Nevermind, just means I can play both seperately for now.

But it means more songs.

Hoshua hoshua, kesa kesa, umbrella ella, Yusan yusan

The first lesson for level 5B japanese started today.

Man, after work, had to rush there and ended up being late. Nevermind that, cos I am always late for my class nowadays even on Sat. Then the after-effect of work kicks in. Stoning, cant think, so mentally-tired. After a while more, my eyes started to be unable to focus, or feel like closing them, attention span waning. Man, I pity my own students now. But hey, they arent going for classes after a whole day of work.

After classes, we went for a simple dinner. I was carrying a Midori umbrella. Didnt want to carry it the normal way, so I swung it over my shoulder and rested both hands on it. The Umbrella song popped to mind and I started swaying to the song with my umbrella.

"Ella ella, e.. e.. under my unbrella, ella ella e e..."

Tab joined in and it became,

"Ho shua, ho shua shua.. shua.. Wa eh ho shua ho shua..."

then she modified to

"Kesa kesa ke ke ke, watashi no kesa, kesa, kesa, ke ke ke, midori no kesa..."

and then "Yusan yusan yu yu yu, wo de qing yusan yusan yusan.."

Man work is getting to us in a way, our screws go loose and all sorts of funny stuff appears. Occupational hazard some more if go for classes after work. The effect is doubled that by the end of the lesson, more crap jokes in japanese pops up.

Yet its one of the reasons why I still stayed on for jap. Its a weekly dose of self-inflicted-lame-jokes-session. Like the mistakes made from unfunctional after-work brains to constructing lame sentences to after-lesson lame jokes. Hope the fun element still remains for more years to come.

Happy Hours, Toto and National Day

Happy Hours

Fish & Co at the Love house, has happy hours from 5-9pm on weekdays. I met Candle after work and ended up eating delicious Salmon Ginza with Deep Sea plus another free drink courtesy of Candle's card.

Nice ambience, with a live 2-man show singing with acousitic guitars. Plus good food and cheap drinks. Its a substitute for a nice PUB. Even that one drink quite power liao, I feeling nicely comfortable after a few sips. Good to know that they maintained the alcohol level and didnt sting. Chips ahoy!

Toto

Yar imagine, having your friends sms you, tell you to ask them buy 4D and Toto. Yar given I am the only one buying regularly, its convenient to long bang. If tio, pls give FAT ang bao. No tio, still must pay me back hor. Tomorrow I will be leaving earlier to queue. Hope for bright, sunny weather and Thai-dance? Hopefully the police wont be called in to arrest suspicious person.

National Day

I have proposed Tab that she holds a National Day Drink-All-You-Can at her place this coming Saturday. Anyone cannot make it? Please make yourself available if possible.

I be bringing my Absolut Pear and some recipes from the Absolut webby. Lets have our own 'version' of National Day. Timing maybe can be a bit earlier around 5-6pm?

Dine-in, mix-your-own poison.

My laptop display...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> For the Sunday post, I stopped...

This was exactly when my post got cut off. Due to a Halo effect happening on my laptop screen. Before my very eyes, it spreaded til the whole screen. I am staring at a blank white screen. I cant see anything on my laptop screen. Its pure white and blank.

Today I connected my PC flat screen to my laptop and realized its a display problem. So I am now typing from my laptop but staring at my flat PC screen. Will try to back up the stuff tom, a bit tired at this point. Luckily I still have Warranty. So have to head down to Acer to get it assessed and fixed up. Sianz.

Just been feeling sianz again from the onset of job blues. A good news for HOPE is the 8m draw. Its like a tipper to help pass this week. So I smsed friends to remind them to buy a piece of hope, no matter how bleak. Just a chance, no matter how remote.

K can start buying tom onwards, expect massive crowds. Since I have to go to work earlier everyday, it meant heading out earlier on wed or thur to buy it. Yar remb to do some strange Thai dance before buying. See one is blessed.

Man... pigging out

Yar last week and this week, I didnt go to the gym. Not exactly cos I was sickly. Last week was cos of jap. This week, cos by 8.30am, I was kinda hungry. Ended up going with my dad and sister to IMM to eat, go Daiso, go Giant.

Came back, still felt had time to go to the gym near 4-5pm. Until the weather continued to remain so hot and sunny. My mom and sis smsed saying that they were going Vivo. Being bored, hot and

Some Conversation Ideas

Be careful what you wish for, cos you just might get it

A line from the pussycat dolls song, title which I've never gotten about to finding out. Just that whenever I hear this, I am reminded of the times when I wish to be posted to a different school from my practicum school to see the difference. Omg, I've got my wish but all didnt end well.

Was talking with Tab about it. She mentioned that for such wishes, one has to be very very specific.

"I want to become rich, with a million US dollars in my bank account. This wish will come true on the day of XX day XX month XXXX year, at the time of XX:XX hour."

Yar so if I need help to craft my wish with such specifications that it resembles a legally-binding obligation, with no ambiguity, I would ask Tab to phrase it for me :P

How to become a millionaire?

For the capable, their jobs brings it.
For the rest, its buying a Hope.
For others, go hunt down Mas Selamat for $1m reward

Nia Si Wa Wu Ji Ba Ban?

Was chatting with Candle yesterday, she asked the question, What would one do with a million $Sing dollars?

For her, she would use it to buy a Free-hold Private property. Given property prices are about $1.4k per square foot in some areas. A 1000 square feet apt would cost in the million range. It can earn rental income, only that capital inlays is large, would be beyond the reach of a single-income unless is a high salary.

For me, if I have 1m, I would just buy up my neighbouring HDB unit, a 3-room. So with both units, a 4-room which I stay at, and a 3-room, can make a wall to seal off part of the common corridor to serve as a garden ledge, new front door. Then each one of us can have a room, 2 kitchen, 3 bathroom, 2 storerooms. Then still easily have $0.5m left for other investment purposes, in shares, biz etc etc.

Signz. Back to the grind of working while I contemplate these wishes/fat hopes.

Tattoo Ideas

K, its not that I am going to get one yet, but I have always wanted a Unicorn tattoo. Horses symbolizes freedom to me and unicorns give a mythical, surreal feeling to it.

Signz wont be acting rashly cos not that I am picky, think some local tattoo standard cannot make it. Seen some tattoos and the dragons look so kiddish. Then designs not highly original or unique enough. Maybe I've been watching too much Miami Ink and LA Ink. Think if I seriously want to get something, have to head elsewhere to get a more professional and unique piece.

Then the jialat thing happened. I didnt think I wanted any other designs, cos its just Unicorn. But when I saw the concept of having a back tattoo of a pair of wings, omg, I am sold! A pair of hidden wings, angel wings? devil wings? one of each?

A pair of wings to symbolize the desire to fly uninhibited into the skies. Signz.

Angel wings tattoo