Another year passes by, slowly and tortourously at times at first, then speeding past near the end. Guess that's how the years will continue to zoom past.
Looking back, this year, at least the first 2/3 was terrible. I really dread going to work, my cough was really bad and draining. I finally reached the point where I was ready to resign. Which I did. Looking back, though now its not that easy to get such a high paying job and I am hitting some walls, I still dont regret as much, except for the pay, cos how much is one's health and sanity worth?
On the other side, despite having crap time at work due to management, I did have a good class whom I really enjoyed teaching even though it was my first time doing such young kids. It did change some of my perception about teaching younger pupils but I still strike a limit at age 7 for now. I did get to know good collegues in my level whom really cared about my well-being and are very decent people. Guess my people skills are not that bad, IF people can get past the initial first impression bais against my face.
The first half of the remaining 1/3 of the year, the initial part of my unemployment was really crap. That is an understatement cos of family problems and being the 'temporary caretaker' of the home, which also gave me lots of stress and worries. It reached a point that both me and my brother decided that we really dont have it inside to care anymore. Our advices, worries didnt result in any change on the parties. They still wanna continue their actions. Hence we entirely wash our hands out of the matter. I dont want to think about the 'what ifs' anymore. I still had myself to worry about.
The last half of the remaining 1/3 of the year was where the FUN really started. Though it was late, but better than never. I concentrated my time and energy on my routine of Driving, Guitar, Japanese, Swimming/Exercising and they did occupy me. I didnt have to worry about much for then or I was kept rather occupied to think too much (which is something I do have a tendency to do) Then went for first Halloween dress up, first paintball. Though the change of guitar instructors is frustrating, but I am still sticking to guitar for now. I went to Melaka for a 2nd time, the first being really years ago.
But like all things, the good must come to an end. So far I had spent about $8.5k in total for all expenses over 5 months. The driving, guitar, jap and misc once-off took quite chunk. Though I still have some reserve, being Long Term unemployed wasnt part of my plan. So I started my job search after the JLPT3 exams and Melaka. So far, not much luck.
The offers I am getting are low in terms of pay and also the hours are not good. The recent 2.5k offer meant I have to work Wed to Sun and even on public holidays if they fall on those days, no days off or added leave cos of that. I wasnt sure about it cos it clashed with my japanese class on wed and guitar class on sat. Of course, if I get a good enough offer, I will reschedule the guitar if needed and maybe forfeit the jap. But I wasnt that keen on the no leave on public holiday thingy. So I continue my search. So far only sent out 2 more, 1 was beyond deadline but might be considered for next round. I have to continue to be dilligent and KEEP sending and to the RIGHT parties and do a good job of interviewing I guess.
Hence this is the part that dulled the high of Oct/Nov/Dec a bit. But I really hope to be more settled. This might just be the job I do until I retire, I wish to settle into something I can do and somewhat like and decent pay and hours. Is that too much to ask for? Hmm...
Anyway time for new year resolutions.
My resolutions are
1) Secure a career- I find gradually as I keep asking myself what I wanna do, I am slowly getting a clearer idea of my expectations in terms of pay etc but still hazy in terms of the exact position.
2) Continue to try new things - To live life to the fullest, need to revisit that list and add to it.
3) Be more optimistic and cheerful - This might be more challenging than expected. I have over the years, slowly changed my character to be more out-going, out-spoken. Of course, I am not perfect, still have alot of work to do. I have to learn to smile more (even if its a mask) but I still rather smile when it is genuine and real.
4) Exercise 2-3 times a week - I have kept up the routine somewhat continously for 10 weeks. I did manage to lose the extra weight gained from Melaka but the Christmas party... meant I was again heavier than my initial fat self. Signz... a lot of work to do. Keep it up. I do feel fitter, stronger and even more energetic at times, not always. Gambatte.
Hope for things to look up and I can move on to the next part of my life.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas party and stuff
Hmm I wondered how many years of Tab's Christmas party had I attended so far?
Remembered one year when I started mixing drinks, mainly cocktails.
One year when I did balloon art.
One year when I drank Oolong mainly and made shots.
This year I aimed for Mojito and Martini. The lychee martini was quite popular. Thankfully Tab bought the Lychee liquer. Peartini wasnt as popular.
Not many drank the Port I asked Candle to buy. Nevermind, save for upcoming New Year dinner? Ya just a few days more to the new year.
The Mojitos were alright, though not to Quetzal's taste. But I havent tasted one before so cant really tell how close or different was the Internet recipes. But GOOD NEWS, more Mojito-making. I saw this Mojito mixer today at Cold storage. There is also Mint leaves. Now only need Rum, if not just plain vodka. I have vodka but not rum. Another rematch.
Quetzal brought her sister along and mixed a lychee martini, mudslide, tequila sunrise for her. Then she drank port. Well after 4 drinks, still can, not bad.
The smoked duck breast is good esp for drinking. Its tasty. The turkey is also very tasty. First time ever eating Gingerbread house. The icing is too sweet but the walls are nice and chewy.
Really DARE NOT step on the weighing scale yet. Only one gym so far. Today supposed to go gym but kept pushing back. So bo bian, do a little bit of weights and sit ups later.
Thank Quetzal for her generous Christmas gift, didnt expect to get 3 items. I am trying to use them.
Today I scrolled through last week's Recruit and a bit of this week's one. Err non-educational openings not much that I can fit into based on job requirements. I have cut out some, will send to them tomorrow onwards. Tomorrow also intend to go do flexi-work, clock in one day. Tuesday I have driving in late afternoon, so maybe go swim too. Wed is temple going and then movie Avatar.
I will have to monitor my expenses more closely, and reduce. Was spending a bit too much over this period of time, though some stuff like driving, guitar etc did cost me a bit. But still have to cut my expenditure until I have something more tangible going.
The next year is almost on us... I wish for it to be an even more fruitful year than this. Until next post for new year resolution.
Remembered one year when I started mixing drinks, mainly cocktails.
One year when I did balloon art.
One year when I drank Oolong mainly and made shots.
This year I aimed for Mojito and Martini. The lychee martini was quite popular. Thankfully Tab bought the Lychee liquer. Peartini wasnt as popular.
Not many drank the Port I asked Candle to buy. Nevermind, save for upcoming New Year dinner? Ya just a few days more to the new year.
The Mojitos were alright, though not to Quetzal's taste. But I havent tasted one before so cant really tell how close or different was the Internet recipes. But GOOD NEWS, more Mojito-making. I saw this Mojito mixer today at Cold storage. There is also Mint leaves. Now only need Rum, if not just plain vodka. I have vodka but not rum. Another rematch.
Quetzal brought her sister along and mixed a lychee martini, mudslide, tequila sunrise for her. Then she drank port. Well after 4 drinks, still can, not bad.
The smoked duck breast is good esp for drinking. Its tasty. The turkey is also very tasty. First time ever eating Gingerbread house. The icing is too sweet but the walls are nice and chewy.
Really DARE NOT step on the weighing scale yet. Only one gym so far. Today supposed to go gym but kept pushing back. So bo bian, do a little bit of weights and sit ups later.
Thank Quetzal for her generous Christmas gift, didnt expect to get 3 items. I am trying to use them.
Today I scrolled through last week's Recruit and a bit of this week's one. Err non-educational openings not much that I can fit into based on job requirements. I have cut out some, will send to them tomorrow onwards. Tomorrow also intend to go do flexi-work, clock in one day. Tuesday I have driving in late afternoon, so maybe go swim too. Wed is temple going and then movie Avatar.
I will have to monitor my expenses more closely, and reduce. Was spending a bit too much over this period of time, though some stuff like driving, guitar etc did cost me a bit. But still have to cut my expenditure until I have something more tangible going.
The next year is almost on us... I wish for it to be an even more fruitful year than this. Until next post for new year resolution.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Until after tomorrow...
Monday, I went for 2 interviews, which the first offer is decent but the second is really under-cut. BUT nothing is in the bag cos for the first one, I have to hear from them. For the second one, I call them if I am decided. I went in without make-up cos my old set dont think is fit for usage. Didnt exercise.
On Tuesday, I first headed for a hair cut in the early afternoon. My hair was getting too long and irritating, plus hot humid weather nowadays, and to appear neater. I didnt call, decided to walk in and just ask for that Shuai hairstylist to cut for me. When I walked in, he was the only hairstylist not attending to customer, so he cut for me. Yay. Actually this time I WAS wearing contact lens and thus could see his face clearly. Still think he is pretty alright, cos who am I to critise? My own face has blemishes and pimple scars too duh. And to my sister's dismay, I didnt ask him his age *which is my mission impossible since a number of haircuts ago* Just asked some questions about hair straigtening iron clips and the other which is to make hair stand.
After that, I headed to drive. Continued to learn right turn which I am not that good at, U-turn, roundabouts and the new thing is moving off from slope. Quite fun except that it started raining quite a bit. Well at least I am familiar with the wipers and even the headlights.
After that I went shopping for basic make-up with Ting and Tab on Tuesday after driving lesson. Watson has 20% discount and since the salesgirl at Maybelline was very helpful, bought a foundation, blush and lipstick. No mascara or eye shadow or concealers. I am just for basics. No exercise.
On Wed, I headed to work at FH's place. Was doing data-entry and listening to the music. I dont mind it too much cos it gives me some more admin stuff to add to resume, and also had a whole room to work in. I was to also 'test' and highlight to him any parts that can be improved, which after a few times of doing the repeated task, there are very obvious parts. No wonder some not computer-savvy aunties slow in doing or make mistakes. Even for me, I can cut down various parts by using Office short cut functions but there is only so much that can be done. Well, I did finish keying faster, then while its printing, looked out at the window to 'rest' my eyes. Had forgotten how tedious this type of computer activitiy is on the eyes. Luckily can listen to music so tuned in to FM98.7 It helps very much to occupy my unoccupied mind so I wont be too bored after a while. Laughing at the jokes the DJs crack, it really makes time pass fast. After a while, its already 5hrs.
Then we headed to Timbre to eat pizza, *the garlic shrimp is oiiishiiiii* but the beer tasted okay... which is only because moi had drunk better beer from brewrsk, red dot etc etc. Oh well. No exercise.
Today, I headed to the gym. Woke up with help of hp alarm, I woke up earlier 8.30am. Then saw the rainy weather. NO!!!!! But I decided to pack my swim gear, then wear gym gear. Cos dunno if the pool or gym closed since its the eve before Christmas. It was still drizzling quite heavily when I arrived, so headed to the gym. Worked out for 1.5hrs doing my routine. Came out feeling tired but good. So there's just one or two more exercise to go either Sat and/or Sun. Didnt want to break the routine cos it took quite a bit of perseverence to keep it up all this while. The good news is that I almost lost the 1.7kg I gained from the Melaka trip whole week of eating. Left 0.3kg then I am back to my FAT self that I still wanted to reduce.
Dabaoed lunch, bought mint leaves, a pack of suger to make simple sugar syrup for mixing of martini. The theme this year for mixing is "Mojito & Martini" but some stuff still dont have eg lime juice, apple juice, soda water. Nevermind, see if I can grab a can of soda tomorrow.
I headed out for another interview. This time its rather near the Guan Yin temple. I sat through and again the points coming up is that this is pte so pay not so high, have to let students like, seem that I am not generous with my smile. BUT as I already noted before, EVEN when I smile to other people, they can tell that generally I am not of a happy-disposition type. The look is there not cos I dao pple but that even if I smile to them, it doesnt overcome this bais against my disposition. DUH! Then the salary quoted is rather low. Slightly better than the 2nd interview but still I am not that keen. Not only cos of salary but that I was going to teach up to lower secondary. I asked for time to think about, to give an answer on monday so can proceed to 2nd round where I would have to demostrate how I teach. Well I am not scared of demonstrating since contract days but the pay is still not within expectations. I was targeting somewhere 2.8k region, not sure if I am overpricing myself. But if I wanted just a 2k job, I think I can get it rather easily but 2k for 40-42hr workweek is a too low, esp after CPF and travelling and food. I cant say for certain whether I am being overpriced, until I have sent applications to the more reputable and bigger centres and gone for those interviews.
After that, I headed to the toilet to wipe off my light make-up. Hmm so far so good, no rashes and my face does brighten up, just I am NOT comfortable with that obvious layer on my face esp the lips. Then since it was still before 6pm, I went to the Guan Yin temple to pray and qiu qian. I asked that in my job search, should I focus in tuition? 上签 Asked if in my job search should look at fiance and banks etc? 中签 Both seemed good but of course tuition choice seemed better.
Before I went into teaching or accouting then, 5 years back, I came to Guan Yin temple. Teaching is a good choice cos I had good collegues and actually performed rather well in my job. Its just my own disatisfaction with my fatique level, increasing waistline, lack of personal time and energy to do things. But with the teaching job, I dilligently saved up over the years and could invest and yet have a comfortable buffer which I am relying on now in this period of unemployment. Overall it is still a good move. I was somewhat discouraged after 3 interviews without much success but this qian has given me the encouragement to forge on ahead.
IF they are not willing to hire me COS I look stern, dont smile at them or dont have a happy disposition, I WILL GET MY OWN STUDENTS What I like about pupils which I still do is that they are more willing to look outside superficial appearances, just like I try to do to them, cos I am so aware of the bais against me. Hence even with difficult students, I treat them as equals and try to avoid favourites or even labels. COS I DONT STEREOTYPE THEM as much as I could. I dont see my students dissing me cos I dont smile cos I actually do esp activities and stuff. Its just the ADULTS who dont seem to see, too fast to judge. I constantly remind myself not to lapse into such first impressions or hasty judgements 有眼无珠
Eventually might even set up my OWN CENTRE, basket. I PAY MYSELF. I dont believe that I dont have something to offer compared to some of these centres where the staff are not NIE-trained or not well-paid or working long hours. I dont believe the insights into teaching that I have gained by opening my OWN eyes, while others chose not to see, when I was working as an educator, CANNOT match these, some are outsiders, retired. I seriously DONT believe it is so. I guess why I wanted to try out at centre is to see and learn how they run it, look at their syllabus a bit. BUT if even working there, I still have to do syllabus, do ws and exam papers, then might as well COME UP WITH MY OWN. Lagi easier, match in-line with MOE syallabus and viola, I can get MOE-accredited centre. Duh.
And through these interviews, I cant say that they are purely waste of time and money but I didnt spend on cab, just took public transport. Maybe its the time. But I also gained some insight, lower secondary market potential for English, middle primary and upwards to focus on. Even adult courses. On my way back, these were swirling on my mind. I could START NOW with a few steps to build up my syllabus and lessons accordingly and put it exam focused, with parts learning focused. I shall try to get started to churn up stuff esp for Eng and Maths which I have the most experience, and adult class. A few ideas and WS a day, after a couple, I am open for home-based biz. Several months more, who knows? I really think I can, even if not centre, but home-based.
Then I reached home and made the Simple Sugar Syrup that is used for the recipes I copied for Martinis. Its equal part sugar and water. Made about 800ml of it. Mint bought, smoked duck breast bought, Port which Candle helped me purchsed, Beer which I bought and not drunk, 6 bottles Budweiser, 2 bottles Hoe, 3 cans Guiness checked. Absolute Pear Vodka which I used to make this
Peartini, which the quantity turned out to be a mixer. I actually used freshly squeezed lemon juice and even tried to squeeze an apple for the juice. Need to modify the Pear vodka quantity but overall taste is good esp chilled by ice and even diluted a bit by the ice.
K tomorrow, since I am bringing so much booze, beer, wine and even vodka, tomorrow is to drink until I go silly. Intend to make everybody finish the PORT. I am spending quite a bit, Port, my beer, food, even considering getting fruits for the mojito... but its once a year. I plan to PARTY and then on Monday go back to job search, working at FH, monitoring Stock Market, start doing up own worksheet, and exercise. Think that will keep me busy indeed.
Until after tomorrow first...
On Tuesday, I first headed for a hair cut in the early afternoon. My hair was getting too long and irritating, plus hot humid weather nowadays, and to appear neater. I didnt call, decided to walk in and just ask for that Shuai hairstylist to cut for me. When I walked in, he was the only hairstylist not attending to customer, so he cut for me. Yay. Actually this time I WAS wearing contact lens and thus could see his face clearly. Still think he is pretty alright, cos who am I to critise? My own face has blemishes and pimple scars too duh. And to my sister's dismay, I didnt ask him his age *which is my mission impossible since a number of haircuts ago* Just asked some questions about hair straigtening iron clips and the other which is to make hair stand.
After that, I headed to drive. Continued to learn right turn which I am not that good at, U-turn, roundabouts and the new thing is moving off from slope. Quite fun except that it started raining quite a bit. Well at least I am familiar with the wipers and even the headlights.
After that I went shopping for basic make-up with Ting and Tab on Tuesday after driving lesson. Watson has 20% discount and since the salesgirl at Maybelline was very helpful, bought a foundation, blush and lipstick. No mascara or eye shadow or concealers. I am just for basics. No exercise.
On Wed, I headed to work at FH's place. Was doing data-entry and listening to the music. I dont mind it too much cos it gives me some more admin stuff to add to resume, and also had a whole room to work in. I was to also 'test' and highlight to him any parts that can be improved, which after a few times of doing the repeated task, there are very obvious parts. No wonder some not computer-savvy aunties slow in doing or make mistakes. Even for me, I can cut down various parts by using Office short cut functions but there is only so much that can be done. Well, I did finish keying faster, then while its printing, looked out at the window to 'rest' my eyes. Had forgotten how tedious this type of computer activitiy is on the eyes. Luckily can listen to music so tuned in to FM98.7 It helps very much to occupy my unoccupied mind so I wont be too bored after a while. Laughing at the jokes the DJs crack, it really makes time pass fast. After a while, its already 5hrs.
Then we headed to Timbre to eat pizza, *the garlic shrimp is oiiishiiiii* but the beer tasted okay... which is only because moi had drunk better beer from brewrsk, red dot etc etc. Oh well. No exercise.
Today, I headed to the gym. Woke up with help of hp alarm, I woke up earlier 8.30am. Then saw the rainy weather. NO!!!!! But I decided to pack my swim gear, then wear gym gear. Cos dunno if the pool or gym closed since its the eve before Christmas. It was still drizzling quite heavily when I arrived, so headed to the gym. Worked out for 1.5hrs doing my routine. Came out feeling tired but good. So there's just one or two more exercise to go either Sat and/or Sun. Didnt want to break the routine cos it took quite a bit of perseverence to keep it up all this while. The good news is that I almost lost the 1.7kg I gained from the Melaka trip whole week of eating. Left 0.3kg then I am back to my FAT self that I still wanted to reduce.
Dabaoed lunch, bought mint leaves, a pack of suger to make simple sugar syrup for mixing of martini. The theme this year for mixing is "Mojito & Martini" but some stuff still dont have eg lime juice, apple juice, soda water. Nevermind, see if I can grab a can of soda tomorrow.
I headed out for another interview. This time its rather near the Guan Yin temple. I sat through and again the points coming up is that this is pte so pay not so high, have to let students like, seem that I am not generous with my smile. BUT as I already noted before, EVEN when I smile to other people, they can tell that generally I am not of a happy-disposition type. The look is there not cos I dao pple but that even if I smile to them, it doesnt overcome this bais against my disposition. DUH! Then the salary quoted is rather low. Slightly better than the 2nd interview but still I am not that keen. Not only cos of salary but that I was going to teach up to lower secondary. I asked for time to think about, to give an answer on monday so can proceed to 2nd round where I would have to demostrate how I teach. Well I am not scared of demonstrating since contract days but the pay is still not within expectations. I was targeting somewhere 2.8k region, not sure if I am overpricing myself. But if I wanted just a 2k job, I think I can get it rather easily but 2k for 40-42hr workweek is a too low, esp after CPF and travelling and food. I cant say for certain whether I am being overpriced, until I have sent applications to the more reputable and bigger centres and gone for those interviews.
After that, I headed to the toilet to wipe off my light make-up. Hmm so far so good, no rashes and my face does brighten up, just I am NOT comfortable with that obvious layer on my face esp the lips. Then since it was still before 6pm, I went to the Guan Yin temple to pray and qiu qian. I asked that in my job search, should I focus in tuition? 上签 Asked if in my job search should look at fiance and banks etc? 中签 Both seemed good but of course tuition choice seemed better.
Before I went into teaching or accouting then, 5 years back, I came to Guan Yin temple. Teaching is a good choice cos I had good collegues and actually performed rather well in my job. Its just my own disatisfaction with my fatique level, increasing waistline, lack of personal time and energy to do things. But with the teaching job, I dilligently saved up over the years and could invest and yet have a comfortable buffer which I am relying on now in this period of unemployment. Overall it is still a good move. I was somewhat discouraged after 3 interviews without much success but this qian has given me the encouragement to forge on ahead.
IF they are not willing to hire me COS I look stern, dont smile at them or dont have a happy disposition, I WILL GET MY OWN STUDENTS What I like about pupils which I still do is that they are more willing to look outside superficial appearances, just like I try to do to them, cos I am so aware of the bais against me. Hence even with difficult students, I treat them as equals and try to avoid favourites or even labels. COS I DONT STEREOTYPE THEM as much as I could. I dont see my students dissing me cos I dont smile cos I actually do esp activities and stuff. Its just the ADULTS who dont seem to see, too fast to judge. I constantly remind myself not to lapse into such first impressions or hasty judgements 有眼无珠
Eventually might even set up my OWN CENTRE, basket. I PAY MYSELF. I dont believe that I dont have something to offer compared to some of these centres where the staff are not NIE-trained or not well-paid or working long hours. I dont believe the insights into teaching that I have gained by opening my OWN eyes, while others chose not to see, when I was working as an educator, CANNOT match these, some are outsiders, retired. I seriously DONT believe it is so. I guess why I wanted to try out at centre is to see and learn how they run it, look at their syllabus a bit. BUT if even working there, I still have to do syllabus, do ws and exam papers, then might as well COME UP WITH MY OWN. Lagi easier, match in-line with MOE syallabus and viola, I can get MOE-accredited centre. Duh.
And through these interviews, I cant say that they are purely waste of time and money but I didnt spend on cab, just took public transport. Maybe its the time. But I also gained some insight, lower secondary market potential for English, middle primary and upwards to focus on. Even adult courses. On my way back, these were swirling on my mind. I could START NOW with a few steps to build up my syllabus and lessons accordingly and put it exam focused, with parts learning focused. I shall try to get started to churn up stuff esp for Eng and Maths which I have the most experience, and adult class. A few ideas and WS a day, after a couple, I am open for home-based biz. Several months more, who knows? I really think I can, even if not centre, but home-based.
Then I reached home and made the Simple Sugar Syrup that is used for the recipes I copied for Martinis. Its equal part sugar and water. Made about 800ml of it. Mint bought, smoked duck breast bought, Port which Candle helped me purchsed, Beer which I bought and not drunk, 6 bottles Budweiser, 2 bottles Hoe, 3 cans Guiness checked. Absolute Pear Vodka which I used to make this
Peartini, which the quantity turned out to be a mixer. I actually used freshly squeezed lemon juice and even tried to squeeze an apple for the juice. Need to modify the Pear vodka quantity but overall taste is good esp chilled by ice and even diluted a bit by the ice.
K tomorrow, since I am bringing so much booze, beer, wine and even vodka, tomorrow is to drink until I go silly. Intend to make everybody finish the PORT. I am spending quite a bit, Port, my beer, food, even considering getting fruits for the mojito... but its once a year. I plan to PARTY and then on Monday go back to job search, working at FH, monitoring Stock Market, start doing up own worksheet, and exercise. Think that will keep me busy indeed.
Until after tomorrow first...
Monday, December 21, 2009
People Skills? Expectations?
Now these 2 parts hit me squarely when I went for 2 interviews today.
The first was a tuition centre, where after some talk, the offer was $25 per hour of group teaching, on a part-time basis.
The other which followed after was a lecturer position at a private diploma school which only offers $2k for a 6-day work week.
Now I had only just sent out last nite and shortly received calls for these 2. It was such a hassle. Got my shirt and pants, ironed them. I thought the interviewers might be interested in my lessons, and brought a few stuff that I did, BUT when I reached, the objects of interest are mainly my certficates, reason for leaving, my high pay at MOE which they might not match. I did ask my share of questions about the work aspects, hours etc.
But seriously was I expected to be at all smiles? Trudge under hot sun to find first centre, then had walked circles around the find the second. Also was I supposed to expect a huge pay cut? The second only offered slightly more than half, despite all the talk about prospects. I can see why they need people. Also in the 2nd one, I was told that I appear stern and might need a make-over or put on more smiles to 'act' cos that's what the lecturers need to do to keep students learning etc. How do I show u my teaching-side face, which is actually more cheerful than my normal face, when I am not teaching yet nor is there a chance to showcase?
Expectations about work hours, salary and stuff for me are still rather hazy. The thing I realized about working in Singapore. It is really DIFFICULT to earn the money(through conventional means) But it can be done.
I was trying to make some mental calculations whether I could get a better deal by doing home-based tuition. Think the first offer was alright, IF they decide to call back.
I will still continue on, but would need to get some basic make-up, and maybe 1-2 shirts, of nicer brighter colours than my earthly colours. Also tomorrow I will try to go for a haircut. FH's assignment will be starting, luckily had arranged for a flexible arrangement.
I am rather unbothered for now except rather tired. The guy at the 2nd venue kept for more than 1.5hrs, really knows how to smoke his way. A story to share next time ya see me. Quite stoned by the time it was over. Almost fell asleep on the bus. Think tomorrow or later after, I rested. I will continue this job search. Need to be even more selective about whom I sent to, dont want to end up at some funny place with a dhingy looking prospect.
If nothing works out, then there is always home-based assignments or worse comes to worst consider going back. Was tempted to find out about the requirements to set up an own tuition centre. Some phone call enquiries that need to be made to ask about regulations. Now I need sleep.
The first was a tuition centre, where after some talk, the offer was $25 per hour of group teaching, on a part-time basis.
The other which followed after was a lecturer position at a private diploma school which only offers $2k for a 6-day work week.
Now I had only just sent out last nite and shortly received calls for these 2. It was such a hassle. Got my shirt and pants, ironed them. I thought the interviewers might be interested in my lessons, and brought a few stuff that I did, BUT when I reached, the objects of interest are mainly my certficates, reason for leaving, my high pay at MOE which they might not match. I did ask my share of questions about the work aspects, hours etc.
But seriously was I expected to be at all smiles? Trudge under hot sun to find first centre, then had walked circles around the find the second. Also was I supposed to expect a huge pay cut? The second only offered slightly more than half, despite all the talk about prospects. I can see why they need people. Also in the 2nd one, I was told that I appear stern and might need a make-over or put on more smiles to 'act' cos that's what the lecturers need to do to keep students learning etc. How do I show u my teaching-side face, which is actually more cheerful than my normal face, when I am not teaching yet nor is there a chance to showcase?
Expectations about work hours, salary and stuff for me are still rather hazy. The thing I realized about working in Singapore. It is really DIFFICULT to earn the money(through conventional means) But it can be done.
I was trying to make some mental calculations whether I could get a better deal by doing home-based tuition. Think the first offer was alright, IF they decide to call back.
I will still continue on, but would need to get some basic make-up, and maybe 1-2 shirts, of nicer brighter colours than my earthly colours. Also tomorrow I will try to go for a haircut. FH's assignment will be starting, luckily had arranged for a flexible arrangement.
I am rather unbothered for now except rather tired. The guy at the 2nd venue kept for more than 1.5hrs, really knows how to smoke his way. A story to share next time ya see me. Quite stoned by the time it was over. Almost fell asleep on the bus. Think tomorrow or later after, I rested. I will continue this job search. Need to be even more selective about whom I sent to, dont want to end up at some funny place with a dhingy looking prospect.
If nothing works out, then there is always home-based assignments or worse comes to worst consider going back. Was tempted to find out about the requirements to set up an own tuition centre. Some phone call enquiries that need to be made to ask about regulations. Now I need sleep.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
What to do? Dunno
There seems to be a long list of things for me to do.
First and foremost to do up resume and start applying... then is practice guitar cos it'll soon be Sat.
BUT............ I am not feeling the slightest inclination to lift a finger for both. Instead I feel like heading out.
Where to? dunno
Do what? dunno
How long? dunno
Yesterday I didnt book another slot for driving, instead I headed to Holland village to return my borrowed books, loaned New Moon. Then headed to Clementi Ave 2 to find that Smoked Duck Breast from the Seng Siong. Then I headed next door to the nearby Seng Siong and found it there also. This meant, I could most likely find a box or two on the 24th. So that settles the food that I will be bringing.
I spent most of yesterday reading. Finished 2 books borrowed from the library last week. I did go for a morning swim at the Deep pool. Did 20-22 laps cos I lost count of 2 laps so I did 2 more to make sure its at least 20. Felt really FAT after the trip.
What to expect? Ate A&W, KFC, Nonya kuays, Nonya lunch and dinner, ate Muruku and drank a can of Tiger beer and Jolly Shandy. The little consolation is that I didnt gain 3 kg, its 1.7kg.
The sole night at the hotel, which is a 3-star hotel. Didnt want to wake up so bought a can of beer and even jolly shandy. BUT but despite drinking beer and jolly shandy, I woke up around 2am. OMFG. I was quite afraid to open my eyes but I did and shut them quickly trying to get myself to sleep. To no avail. Then somehow after an hour, I dozed lightly and then checked my watch, its only 4am! The same rountine repeated at 6, 7, 8, 9. I was awake and dozed lightly. LUCKILY didnt see NO flying heads, NO standing figures, NO knocks on the door etc etc.
Next time, I will settle for 2-3 cans of beer to knock me out... Man my 酒量 too good until can wake up in middle of the night. The gas and my throat felt more parched than usual. Hence I woke up, thinking it was already 6am plus only to realize that it wasnt... Even in the Bangkok, HK and Macau, I dont wake up in the middle of the night and most of those I didnt drink much at all.
My body clock is being adjusted to wake around 8 plus which was my usual during work. Was trying to get it back to that and used to that but end up waking at 5-6am at times. Hence I thought it was 6am when I first woke up.
The rest are mostly covered in Tab's post about the things we did and ate. But things not covered include a lot of jokes on my account. The crowning glory being "The Nonya Carol" which included me as the main lead though I dont have a drop of Nonya blood. Half Hokkien and Half Canto unless I got it wrong that last time I've checked. Well it didnt stop Tab from conjuring up a full story in the car, on the way back to Singapore, and which I have to sit through and listen cos we were all squeezed at the back of the car, with Tab in the middle *Signz*
I did get my Coconut, Sweet Potatoe and Charcoal Bamboo bread. The massage was alright but still prefer Neck and Shoulder than Half Body. Didnt really buy other stuff besides food. Dabaoed Secret Recipe cakes for family. Got them each a slice, I didnt want to eat even more, my 3/4 was feeling tight after just one day of eating.
Spent about RM$318 in total. RM$100 for lunch, dinner and accomodation. RM$44 on massage, the rest on food stuff. Nonya quays, Melaka 土产, KFC and A&W, Sweet potatoe, Coconut, Black charcoal bread, Secret Recipe cakes. Hmm looking at the way I have been spending my RM, I might need to top up this account with RM soon.
Ya even after this post, still dont feel compelled to start on job nor guitar. Think I will give it up to this Sunday to settle all these and get started. Guitar no choice, later go drink Port and then pratice... but that will be later on tonight. Now its 1.50pm, still alot of time to do stuff.
What stuff to do is the question?
First and foremost to do up resume and start applying... then is practice guitar cos it'll soon be Sat.
BUT............ I am not feeling the slightest inclination to lift a finger for both. Instead I feel like heading out.
Where to? dunno
Do what? dunno
How long? dunno
Yesterday I didnt book another slot for driving, instead I headed to Holland village to return my borrowed books, loaned New Moon. Then headed to Clementi Ave 2 to find that Smoked Duck Breast from the Seng Siong. Then I headed next door to the nearby Seng Siong and found it there also. This meant, I could most likely find a box or two on the 24th. So that settles the food that I will be bringing.
I spent most of yesterday reading. Finished 2 books borrowed from the library last week. I did go for a morning swim at the Deep pool. Did 20-22 laps cos I lost count of 2 laps so I did 2 more to make sure its at least 20. Felt really FAT after the trip.
What to expect? Ate A&W, KFC, Nonya kuays, Nonya lunch and dinner, ate Muruku and drank a can of Tiger beer and Jolly Shandy. The little consolation is that I didnt gain 3 kg, its 1.7kg.
The sole night at the hotel, which is a 3-star hotel. Didnt want to wake up so bought a can of beer and even jolly shandy. BUT but despite drinking beer and jolly shandy, I woke up around 2am. OMFG. I was quite afraid to open my eyes but I did and shut them quickly trying to get myself to sleep. To no avail. Then somehow after an hour, I dozed lightly and then checked my watch, its only 4am! The same rountine repeated at 6, 7, 8, 9. I was awake and dozed lightly. LUCKILY didnt see NO flying heads, NO standing figures, NO knocks on the door etc etc.
Next time, I will settle for 2-3 cans of beer to knock me out... Man my 酒量 too good until can wake up in middle of the night. The gas and my throat felt more parched than usual. Hence I woke up, thinking it was already 6am plus only to realize that it wasnt... Even in the Bangkok, HK and Macau, I dont wake up in the middle of the night and most of those I didnt drink much at all.
My body clock is being adjusted to wake around 8 plus which was my usual during work. Was trying to get it back to that and used to that but end up waking at 5-6am at times. Hence I thought it was 6am when I first woke up.
The rest are mostly covered in Tab's post about the things we did and ate. But things not covered include a lot of jokes on my account. The crowning glory being "The Nonya Carol" which included me as the main lead though I dont have a drop of Nonya blood. Half Hokkien and Half Canto unless I got it wrong that last time I've checked. Well it didnt stop Tab from conjuring up a full story in the car, on the way back to Singapore, and which I have to sit through and listen cos we were all squeezed at the back of the car, with Tab in the middle *Signz*
I did get my Coconut, Sweet Potatoe and Charcoal Bamboo bread. The massage was alright but still prefer Neck and Shoulder than Half Body. Didnt really buy other stuff besides food. Dabaoed Secret Recipe cakes for family. Got them each a slice, I didnt want to eat even more, my 3/4 was feeling tight after just one day of eating.
Spent about RM$318 in total. RM$100 for lunch, dinner and accomodation. RM$44 on massage, the rest on food stuff. Nonya quays, Melaka 土产, KFC and A&W, Sweet potatoe, Coconut, Black charcoal bread, Secret Recipe cakes. Hmm looking at the way I have been spending my RM, I might need to top up this account with RM soon.
Ya even after this post, still dont feel compelled to start on job nor guitar. Think I will give it up to this Sunday to settle all these and get started. Guitar no choice, later go drink Port and then pratice... but that will be later on tonight. Now its 1.50pm, still alot of time to do stuff.
What stuff to do is the question?
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Endth is Nearth
Hmm think my olden English dont pass. Add 'th' to the word to make it ancient?
The JLPT 3 exam is next Sunday, though I have started passing the practice papers, its still cutting very close to the border line. At times just hit 60 or in the case of listening, just fail... Quite jialat. Then I have tried revising the last 3 sets of notes and sadly little of them are going in. Its like my brain is Teflon and things dont stick. Have to keep staring at them up until next Sat evening I guess.
On the guitar front, though I can improvise a bit, doesnt sound nice. Have to find/create nicer sounding improvisation and try to fit into the song so as not to crash. Again, though last Sat wasnt entirely frustrating, which is already an improvement, I still feel a bit reluctant to pick up the Guitar today. Think I will start to do so later or tomorrow. Dunno still dont feel ready to pick it up to start. That's been what's been happening. Instead of practicing immediately, I have been pushing it to slightly mid-week before I start. Guess its the frustration thingy and trying to get rid of the negativity and anxiety before I pick it up.
On the stock market, today I managed to get up at 8.45am, got up before my alarm clock rang. When the market started, prices plunged a bit, but still not cheap enough except for one. So I used my last bit of capital to buy-in. After this, cant buy anymore. Need to keep that little bit to buffer against any funny things like rights, split. Then I headed out for another morning swim. Though prices have gone up from the initial fall, some counters are a bit lower. I can only wait to sell now.
On the exercise front, this is Week 7 of going exercising 3 times a week. Last week, I actually made it 4 times, 2 swims, 2 gyms. Am impressed but still not much result to show for. Weight still about the same as before, body fat about the same. Except arms a bit muscular. I have been aiming specifically to build up the Triceps cos those are the muscles below the arm. If those are more defined, toned, then the whole arm wont look so flabby or soft or wobbly. Imagine having Macdonna's triceps. Hers are very very obvious. But guess what, those are quite hard to train, exactly cos of their position. Also cos they are not used as much, they start out being weaker too. And I can now do stepper/slider for 20mins workout. When I first started a few weeks back, only can last 5minutes. Now can do 20mins at lvl 3. K hope to keep all these up and look leaner, more toned and very importantly start losing weight.
On the diet part, I have just bought a box of museli bars and 3 pears to help prevent me from pigging out after Jap class. The plan is to put a bar and at least 1 pear in my bag so that after jap, if I felt like munching, can just munch those instead of a Whopper Jr with Salad and Coke Light or a MOF ebbiko bento, which Tab would always remind me. I dont really over-eat unless I am out... Hmm have to use this to help deal with that urge to munch.
But the funny thing is that there are sometimes 1-2 days where I dont have driving, jap or guitar, and I headed out to swim in the morning already. Came back, ate lunch and I have an urge to go out. Is it cos I am used to heading out for all those lessons and stuff, or its just a case of restlessness. YET at times like this, esp the early afternoon, nobody is around to go out with me. I am also rather aimless. Though at times I thought it'll be great to head out, go somewhere to look at the beautiful skies and the clouds whenever weather permits BUT it just doesnt feel right doing that alone. Some things arent meant to be done alone inspite of how much u yearn to do it. But cos there's nobody to go with, at times, I stayed at home instead.
Think part of it is proscrastination. I seem to want to head out to 'escape' tidying up my room and the clothes. Yar after the last session of tidying up the PS collection, I havent done another 'overdue' cleaning session. I better do it, then I can reward myself with heading out.
If dunno where to go, just hop on the bus and observe the surroundings along the journey. That sounds good cos if you are not in a hurry, can take your time, you will notice things that you never seemed to previously. The most obvious for me is the skies. I was often in too much of a rush/daze/zombified mode to notice the clouds in the skies until I didnt have to rush, then I remember to look at the skies. As this period of 'unemployment' is ending for me, I will start sending out resumes after JLPT, I hope to remember to slow down my steps and look at the skies and enjoy the breeze against my face, despite having to join back in the rat race. Guess that for me is one of the simpler pleasures in life.
The JLPT 3 exam is next Sunday, though I have started passing the practice papers, its still cutting very close to the border line. At times just hit 60 or in the case of listening, just fail... Quite jialat. Then I have tried revising the last 3 sets of notes and sadly little of them are going in. Its like my brain is Teflon and things dont stick. Have to keep staring at them up until next Sat evening I guess.
On the guitar front, though I can improvise a bit, doesnt sound nice. Have to find/create nicer sounding improvisation and try to fit into the song so as not to crash. Again, though last Sat wasnt entirely frustrating, which is already an improvement, I still feel a bit reluctant to pick up the Guitar today. Think I will start to do so later or tomorrow. Dunno still dont feel ready to pick it up to start. That's been what's been happening. Instead of practicing immediately, I have been pushing it to slightly mid-week before I start. Guess its the frustration thingy and trying to get rid of the negativity and anxiety before I pick it up.
On the stock market, today I managed to get up at 8.45am, got up before my alarm clock rang. When the market started, prices plunged a bit, but still not cheap enough except for one. So I used my last bit of capital to buy-in. After this, cant buy anymore. Need to keep that little bit to buffer against any funny things like rights, split. Then I headed out for another morning swim. Though prices have gone up from the initial fall, some counters are a bit lower. I can only wait to sell now.
On the exercise front, this is Week 7 of going exercising 3 times a week. Last week, I actually made it 4 times, 2 swims, 2 gyms. Am impressed but still not much result to show for. Weight still about the same as before, body fat about the same. Except arms a bit muscular. I have been aiming specifically to build up the Triceps cos those are the muscles below the arm. If those are more defined, toned, then the whole arm wont look so flabby or soft or wobbly. Imagine having Macdonna's triceps. Hers are very very obvious. But guess what, those are quite hard to train, exactly cos of their position. Also cos they are not used as much, they start out being weaker too. And I can now do stepper/slider for 20mins workout. When I first started a few weeks back, only can last 5minutes. Now can do 20mins at lvl 3. K hope to keep all these up and look leaner, more toned and very importantly start losing weight.
On the diet part, I have just bought a box of museli bars and 3 pears to help prevent me from pigging out after Jap class. The plan is to put a bar and at least 1 pear in my bag so that after jap, if I felt like munching, can just munch those instead of a Whopper Jr with Salad and Coke Light or a MOF ebbiko bento, which Tab would always remind me. I dont really over-eat unless I am out... Hmm have to use this to help deal with that urge to munch.
But the funny thing is that there are sometimes 1-2 days where I dont have driving, jap or guitar, and I headed out to swim in the morning already. Came back, ate lunch and I have an urge to go out. Is it cos I am used to heading out for all those lessons and stuff, or its just a case of restlessness. YET at times like this, esp the early afternoon, nobody is around to go out with me. I am also rather aimless. Though at times I thought it'll be great to head out, go somewhere to look at the beautiful skies and the clouds whenever weather permits BUT it just doesnt feel right doing that alone. Some things arent meant to be done alone inspite of how much u yearn to do it. But cos there's nobody to go with, at times, I stayed at home instead.
Think part of it is proscrastination. I seem to want to head out to 'escape' tidying up my room and the clothes. Yar after the last session of tidying up the PS collection, I havent done another 'overdue' cleaning session. I better do it, then I can reward myself with heading out.
If dunno where to go, just hop on the bus and observe the surroundings along the journey. That sounds good cos if you are not in a hurry, can take your time, you will notice things that you never seemed to previously. The most obvious for me is the skies. I was often in too much of a rush/daze/zombified mode to notice the clouds in the skies until I didnt have to rush, then I remember to look at the skies. As this period of 'unemployment' is ending for me, I will start sending out resumes after JLPT, I hope to remember to slow down my steps and look at the skies and enjoy the breeze against my face, despite having to join back in the rat race. Guess that for me is one of the simpler pleasures in life.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
My Flaw - The Sense of Frustration
One of the feelings that I really really hate and have low tolerance for is the sense of Frustration. This is one very obvious flaw in me.
This happens especially when I am learning things and I cant seem to get it right. The anxiety to get it right, coupled with the lower tolerance for failure, meant that I feel FRUSTRATED when I cannot get something right. The irony is that I enjoy learning, new stuff, new experience, yet its often most often in the learning aspect where I encounter Frustration.
Yes I experience quite a lot of frustration these few months of learning. In Jap and in Guitar, at times driving. Frustration meant I frown ALOT and my temper flares up. Maybe not so much for driving but alot for guitar and japanese. At times I feel near tears also at the sense of frustration and my inability to get it. I know I am nowhere perfect or talented in all aspects but just that I wish I was at times but yet I am reminded of being a mere mortal when there are things that just dont seem to sink in straight away or even with repeated banging, doesnt seem to go in.
Then I would try to put it aside for a short while before I pick it up again most likely on the same day. I would not go without a 2nd try. Yet there are times when even a 2nd attempt at it doesnt work. The frustration can really magnify. Then at times like these, thoughts of giving up arise. I then really have to 'pick myself up' and 'cheer on' to try again, probably the next day after a sleep-off to let things sink in and also to let the sense of frustration abate. Its easier if there are others to pick one up but think dont have a soul-mate to do that, so have to rely on oneself to dig in to find the strength or just have to re-think certain aspects.
In Japanese, I am frustrated when I cant seem to remember the rules, the forms, the grammar types and been failing in the practice papers for several weeks. What I did was I studied a set of notes before I sleep. Then look through again the following night and add another set of notes. I did that dilligently, keep reviewing and reviewing every set that I finished then add on one. Did that for 7 sets out of 11 sets. Things kinda stalled this week. Keep feeling tired especially this week. No wonder keep hitting brick walls after brick walls of frustration. But the silver lining is that I managed to pass the most recent practice set of paper, failing slightly for the listening. I will try to finish up the remaining 4 sets of notes in the next few days and keep reviewing daily.
In Guitar, I am also frustrated cos of change in instructor hence the style of teaching is very very very different, with alot of extra stuff he teaches his students which I didnt really encounter until I joined, the timing which meant I am feeling sleepy whenever I go for Sat class, esp when go out late on friday and the fact that the things learnt are really tough for me. I must admit IF I can overcome this obstacle and really get it, it would mean I can improve BUT I have to clear through that MT FRUSTRATION. The lack of proper musical theory and foundation and exposure made it much harder for me and it requires skill in application and improvising, rhythmn sense and others. I seriously havent thought about how to 'work it out' except by biting the bullet, meet the frustration head on, the next time I pick it up, and trying to practice until I get it somewhat. It just means alot of frustration everytime I pick up the guitar to practice. I have to split into various times (cos of frustration) and practice a few sessions in a day, that is if I pick myself up enough to pick up the guitar. Then just when I thought I got it, go for guitar class and during it, feel frustration rear up when something else comes up... and at times build-on from the thing that I somewhat only just grasped from previously. Really frustrating when I cant get it that well but the rest can grasp it easily... Sian
After all these rants, I think I somewhat feel better from this whole sense of frustration cloud that hung on me, after I tried to work on the rhythm sense thingy on my way back in the train. End up very frustrated. Then I start to feel very sian, feel like giving up, feel like I am a failure. Then I have to chide myself and tell myeself that DESPITE all these frustration and a sense of helplessness about the brick walls that I am hitting, I am moving forward. OVERALL I am improving, moving forward, just that not at the pace I would like it to be.
I just have to accept that into my thick skull and massage my bruised ego. and pick myself up again to bang at that WALL again.
This happens especially when I am learning things and I cant seem to get it right. The anxiety to get it right, coupled with the lower tolerance for failure, meant that I feel FRUSTRATED when I cannot get something right. The irony is that I enjoy learning, new stuff, new experience, yet its often most often in the learning aspect where I encounter Frustration.
Yes I experience quite a lot of frustration these few months of learning. In Jap and in Guitar, at times driving. Frustration meant I frown ALOT and my temper flares up. Maybe not so much for driving but alot for guitar and japanese. At times I feel near tears also at the sense of frustration and my inability to get it. I know I am nowhere perfect or talented in all aspects but just that I wish I was at times but yet I am reminded of being a mere mortal when there are things that just dont seem to sink in straight away or even with repeated banging, doesnt seem to go in.
Then I would try to put it aside for a short while before I pick it up again most likely on the same day. I would not go without a 2nd try. Yet there are times when even a 2nd attempt at it doesnt work. The frustration can really magnify. Then at times like these, thoughts of giving up arise. I then really have to 'pick myself up' and 'cheer on' to try again, probably the next day after a sleep-off to let things sink in and also to let the sense of frustration abate. Its easier if there are others to pick one up but think dont have a soul-mate to do that, so have to rely on oneself to dig in to find the strength or just have to re-think certain aspects.
In Japanese, I am frustrated when I cant seem to remember the rules, the forms, the grammar types and been failing in the practice papers for several weeks. What I did was I studied a set of notes before I sleep. Then look through again the following night and add another set of notes. I did that dilligently, keep reviewing and reviewing every set that I finished then add on one. Did that for 7 sets out of 11 sets. Things kinda stalled this week. Keep feeling tired especially this week. No wonder keep hitting brick walls after brick walls of frustration. But the silver lining is that I managed to pass the most recent practice set of paper, failing slightly for the listening. I will try to finish up the remaining 4 sets of notes in the next few days and keep reviewing daily.
In Guitar, I am also frustrated cos of change in instructor hence the style of teaching is very very very different, with alot of extra stuff he teaches his students which I didnt really encounter until I joined, the timing which meant I am feeling sleepy whenever I go for Sat class, esp when go out late on friday and the fact that the things learnt are really tough for me. I must admit IF I can overcome this obstacle and really get it, it would mean I can improve BUT I have to clear through that MT FRUSTRATION. The lack of proper musical theory and foundation and exposure made it much harder for me and it requires skill in application and improvising, rhythmn sense and others. I seriously havent thought about how to 'work it out' except by biting the bullet, meet the frustration head on, the next time I pick it up, and trying to practice until I get it somewhat. It just means alot of frustration everytime I pick up the guitar to practice. I have to split into various times (cos of frustration) and practice a few sessions in a day, that is if I pick myself up enough to pick up the guitar. Then just when I thought I got it, go for guitar class and during it, feel frustration rear up when something else comes up... and at times build-on from the thing that I somewhat only just grasped from previously. Really frustrating when I cant get it that well but the rest can grasp it easily... Sian
After all these rants, I think I somewhat feel better from this whole sense of frustration cloud that hung on me, after I tried to work on the rhythm sense thingy on my way back in the train. End up very frustrated. Then I start to feel very sian, feel like giving up, feel like I am a failure. Then I have to chide myself and tell myeself that DESPITE all these frustration and a sense of helplessness about the brick walls that I am hitting, I am moving forward. OVERALL I am improving, moving forward, just that not at the pace I would like it to be.
I just have to accept that into my thick skull and massage my bruised ego. and pick myself up again to bang at that WALL again.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Paintball = Pain, Fun Employed and Work
Last Sunday was my very first try at Paintball. Didnt know there was one in Turf City until IR invited us over for a Guys Vs Gals match up prior to her wedding. I must admit, that is one of the most unusual and fun pre-wedding thingy, heck even considering friends meeting-up, I ever had in a while. Ya prefer such activity instead of alot of shopping, walking around, eating and stuff. Would rather have some sports or other activities at times.
Surprisingly the weather held out, the sun shining brightly down for that one day out of the entire week. I woke up around 10-11am and then went online and ate some lunch. Was feeling tired, guess its the night owling ways. Then slowly made my way out around 3pm. But I was afraid to be late, so I took a cab from Avenue 2 instead of the free shuttle bus to Turf City. I was early and headed to the Giant inside to buy water for the hot day. Then I tried to find the location. My sms read "turn right before Turf City"... that was all. Walked outwards but didnt see anything or any signs until I was near the dog school. Jialat, dont see any directions. Later called and called and walked back to Turf City, stopped near a security guard post and asked for directions. Finally walked in, quite a bit under the sun to get to the place.
After we all were assembled, had a briefing and then geared up. Inbetween being photographed by paparazzi friends... and still a bit stoned. Then when the battle started, dashed to hide behind the obstacles and fire. Guess I wasnt that happy with my own performance. I did shoot down 2 of the targets in 3 games but didnt managed to reach the box before the Guys won. Also sometimes I tried to go forward but the hiding places were so muddy that at times just heck and squat in mud!!! But when kena hit, pain man. The irritating part was to have to go tag the medic post. Had to do that several times. Also the guys hid themselves very well, not that many targets to hit...
Best part got shot in the butt by own team mate. I was aiming infront then felt a hit on my backside. OUCH... decided not to go tag medic and rubbed it a bit then tried to go forward. That was the spot that hurt the most though bearable. Hmm by the 3rd game, dont care anymore, just chiong more forward but the guys won pretty fast. Guess their NS experience helps alot. Its an eye-opener for me. Fun too. Except after just 3 games, legs felt heavy and very hot inside that headgear. THink that headgear really restricts breathing, no wonder legs felt heavy than usual. Also all the hiding and squatting made my legs kinda heavy too.
The game ended with Guys winning 3 rounds. Didnt know whether I had managed to shoot anyone but I was kena shot. 4 direct hits and 4 grazes. The direct hit meant the spot aches and is swollen. By evening when I finished bathing, those direct hits were the size of 2 50cents coins in diameter. Different colours depending on how well massaged, ranging from red to purple. Those grazes were just 20 cent size small purple bruises.
Didnt know pain was to come the next day when I woke up. I had intended to go swimming the next day for all that unhealthy hawker food I ate on that Sat and Sun. Woke up and felt my thighs aching like crazy. Its that type of muscle ache that happens after you have done Stepper for 1hr, hike a tall hill. Basically my Quads ache quite a bit. Didnt go swimming. Headed out with Geoky to buy some stuff next door and then we imprompto decided to go to NUS to take a look. Mainly it was still somewhat school term so the canteen were open. We wanted to walk around a bit and maybe drink fruit juice. So we did climbed up the Bizad stairs all the way up, walk past the bizad canteen, old law faculty, went to drink fruit juice at Arts canteen, walked until forum, walked to YIH and lastly walked a bit around Swimming complex. Man, there are MORE INTERESTING CCAs to join, Caporena(brazalian dance martial art), Muay thai and stuff. Things you had to travel bloody far from Clementi to learn lor... Basket, I wish I was a freshman again.
Later we headed back via shuttlebus to Kent Ridge then took a bus. After all that walking, I lay on bed and was knocked out for a few hours. Didnt do much for jap, except finish that practice paper. Didnt do guitar too.
Today, I woke up with EVEN more muscleache on my Quads! I had slapped on alot of muscle cream already but lagi worse today. Finally after talking with Tab, I realized they hurt more than yesterday cos I had gone jalaning at NUS up and down. Headed out for driving and then Jap. Sinned by eating Cedele's Carrot Walnut cake after class. Tomorrow IF my aches are better, I better go swim.
_______________________________________
Tab told me that she learnt a new term for people like me and Candle. Basically we are unemployed yet we are spending money to so-call enjoy ourselves. I must admit, I had quite a bit of fun this past 2 months esp Oct and Nov. The months before that are not enjoyable in any aspect. The term is "Fun Employed". Hmm that sounds slightly better than "Unemployment Statistic" or "Bum". I wish it can last longer but I am feeling the nagging feeling that I 'should be doing something with my life' and move on. So far my parents hadnt said anything. Its only my sister Geoky, who often reminds me that I am 'voluntarily umemployed'.
Hmm... I guess I feel my 'idling' days are numbering, NOT cos I have run out of reserve living expenses BUT mainly I feel that I should do something. Though I am not sure entirely where exactly to head to. Would try to sent out to tuition centres. Am thinking for either Part-time or Full-time employment. If worst comes, either work for FH for some data-entry stint or go for MOE re-join as Adjunct or Relief. See how, though I had given myself a time frame to settle, that is after Jap Exam, I have yet to do up resume nor send out nor call. I have to get to those but for now I wish to focus a bit more. I did write down 4 agendas on my list of things to do.
Practice Jap,
Practice Guitar,
Tidy Room,
Get ready resume
Would get to them, I need to adjust and set up some sort of timetable. My current timetable have things like 3 exercise, 2 driving, 2 jap class, 1 guitar class that takes up about 5 days. Would use the 'off' days to clear room, and settle resume and rest. Hopefully.
Surprisingly the weather held out, the sun shining brightly down for that one day out of the entire week. I woke up around 10-11am and then went online and ate some lunch. Was feeling tired, guess its the night owling ways. Then slowly made my way out around 3pm. But I was afraid to be late, so I took a cab from Avenue 2 instead of the free shuttle bus to Turf City. I was early and headed to the Giant inside to buy water for the hot day. Then I tried to find the location. My sms read "turn right before Turf City"... that was all. Walked outwards but didnt see anything or any signs until I was near the dog school. Jialat, dont see any directions. Later called and called and walked back to Turf City, stopped near a security guard post and asked for directions. Finally walked in, quite a bit under the sun to get to the place.
After we all were assembled, had a briefing and then geared up. Inbetween being photographed by paparazzi friends... and still a bit stoned. Then when the battle started, dashed to hide behind the obstacles and fire. Guess I wasnt that happy with my own performance. I did shoot down 2 of the targets in 3 games but didnt managed to reach the box before the Guys won. Also sometimes I tried to go forward but the hiding places were so muddy that at times just heck and squat in mud!!! But when kena hit, pain man. The irritating part was to have to go tag the medic post. Had to do that several times. Also the guys hid themselves very well, not that many targets to hit...
Best part got shot in the butt by own team mate. I was aiming infront then felt a hit on my backside. OUCH... decided not to go tag medic and rubbed it a bit then tried to go forward. That was the spot that hurt the most though bearable. Hmm by the 3rd game, dont care anymore, just chiong more forward but the guys won pretty fast. Guess their NS experience helps alot. Its an eye-opener for me. Fun too. Except after just 3 games, legs felt heavy and very hot inside that headgear. THink that headgear really restricts breathing, no wonder legs felt heavy than usual. Also all the hiding and squatting made my legs kinda heavy too.
The game ended with Guys winning 3 rounds. Didnt know whether I had managed to shoot anyone but I was kena shot. 4 direct hits and 4 grazes. The direct hit meant the spot aches and is swollen. By evening when I finished bathing, those direct hits were the size of 2 50cents coins in diameter. Different colours depending on how well massaged, ranging from red to purple. Those grazes were just 20 cent size small purple bruises.
Didnt know pain was to come the next day when I woke up. I had intended to go swimming the next day for all that unhealthy hawker food I ate on that Sat and Sun. Woke up and felt my thighs aching like crazy. Its that type of muscle ache that happens after you have done Stepper for 1hr, hike a tall hill. Basically my Quads ache quite a bit. Didnt go swimming. Headed out with Geoky to buy some stuff next door and then we imprompto decided to go to NUS to take a look. Mainly it was still somewhat school term so the canteen were open. We wanted to walk around a bit and maybe drink fruit juice. So we did climbed up the Bizad stairs all the way up, walk past the bizad canteen, old law faculty, went to drink fruit juice at Arts canteen, walked until forum, walked to YIH and lastly walked a bit around Swimming complex. Man, there are MORE INTERESTING CCAs to join, Caporena(brazalian dance martial art), Muay thai and stuff. Things you had to travel bloody far from Clementi to learn lor... Basket, I wish I was a freshman again.
Later we headed back via shuttlebus to Kent Ridge then took a bus. After all that walking, I lay on bed and was knocked out for a few hours. Didnt do much for jap, except finish that practice paper. Didnt do guitar too.
Today, I woke up with EVEN more muscleache on my Quads! I had slapped on alot of muscle cream already but lagi worse today. Finally after talking with Tab, I realized they hurt more than yesterday cos I had gone jalaning at NUS up and down. Headed out for driving and then Jap. Sinned by eating Cedele's Carrot Walnut cake after class. Tomorrow IF my aches are better, I better go swim.
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Tab told me that she learnt a new term for people like me and Candle. Basically we are unemployed yet we are spending money to so-call enjoy ourselves. I must admit, I had quite a bit of fun this past 2 months esp Oct and Nov. The months before that are not enjoyable in any aspect. The term is "Fun Employed". Hmm that sounds slightly better than "Unemployment Statistic" or "Bum". I wish it can last longer but I am feeling the nagging feeling that I 'should be doing something with my life' and move on. So far my parents hadnt said anything. Its only my sister Geoky, who often reminds me that I am 'voluntarily umemployed'.
Hmm... I guess I feel my 'idling' days are numbering, NOT cos I have run out of reserve living expenses BUT mainly I feel that I should do something. Though I am not sure entirely where exactly to head to. Would try to sent out to tuition centres. Am thinking for either Part-time or Full-time employment. If worst comes, either work for FH for some data-entry stint or go for MOE re-join as Adjunct or Relief. See how, though I had given myself a time frame to settle, that is after Jap Exam, I have yet to do up resume nor send out nor call. I have to get to those but for now I wish to focus a bit more. I did write down 4 agendas on my list of things to do.
Practice Jap,
Practice Guitar,
Tidy Room,
Get ready resume
Would get to them, I need to adjust and set up some sort of timetable. My current timetable have things like 3 exercise, 2 driving, 2 jap class, 1 guitar class that takes up about 5 days. Would use the 'off' days to clear room, and settle resume and rest. Hopefully.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Dont Live to Regret
Hmm felt very tired, a whole spell of tiredness desended upon me after I had gone out to dabao food, had to wait for half an hour cos still early for some food stalls to finish their opening and stuff, so headed to Ginza to 'kill time'. Went to supermarket to buy bread, check out exchange rate. Yet my Yong Tao Fu stall still not finished setting up so waited another 15mins for them. Then dabaoed also Chinese Rojak and Zar Cai Fan for Dad.
Came back to empty home. Dad had sent Geoky out, I guess to MRT and then he went to buy his wine and stuff. I ate my bruch, watched 2 crime shows I recorded. Then he came back and then I felt very tired. Though I hadnt gone to gym, study jap and practiced guitar, I decided to drop them in favour of sleep.
Went to sleep around 3pm, then woke up its already near 7pm. Dont think can make it for gym, also dont feel up to it. Ate my Fruit Rojak for dinner. But cos mom came back, then she went downstairs to pack noodles and horfan, I ate some of them too. After dinner, feeling sian dunno cos is it didnt head out, didnt do much or the fact that the problems are not over anytime soon, decided to practice guitar instead.
Sat's guitar lesson was very taxing. Not used to the instructor's style. He is very fast and teaches many things. Some things he mentioned I have NO idea, cos he taught his class earlier in the modules, some is Musical theory, which I really dont have much knowledge. Though I had practiced about 3 times from Last Sat, I am that proficient in the current song. So in the lesson, missed at times esp when the songs are generally fast. Come out feeling sian, frustrated at myself and the lesson. But today after practicing, getting the hang of it. Need to practice more I guess?
At times like now, I still feel aimless. I guess this is how my whole life will be like. I seem to be searching for a higher aim/purpose though I understand at the back of my head that there is NO such. Hence its up to u to make meaning. Though I am doing a fair bit of stuff, my schedule involves from 3-5 weekdays out from late afternoon onwards, now even include a Sat. Yet the feeling of aimlessness doesnt leave me. Its more like IF I am busy enough, I dont think about things. I guess that's a partial function of a job, to keep u busy and tired enough, not to ponder on too many things in your life.
Generally I think many people are NOT HAPPY with their lives. Be it in terms of looks, money, job, family, other half or lack of other half, feelings of loneliness, worries of future, plagued by illness. There are aspects of happiness to be found if one looks closely but MANY REGRETS if one just generally think back on their earlier years.
At times, I feel it is important to MAKE PEACE with oneself. So like yes you had given up something then due to circumstances, BUT now are u able to pick it up? Yes you had lost an opportunity then, but what about now? I find if one can be at peace with the regrets, there is more inner peace and the same cycle wont happen repeatedly throughout one's life to create more regrets.
And of course it is easier said than done.
Dont live to regret, is something else that I am striving for besides living out one's dreams. I think they are different sides of the same coin.
I have briefly re-read through 4th set of jap notes to recap cos I did that about 2 days back. Think tomorrow then I do 5th set in case it affects my sleeping. I will try to tune my body clock back to normal timing. Hope to work towards 9am then 8am and sleep around 11.30pm, 12am. I will try.
Came back to empty home. Dad had sent Geoky out, I guess to MRT and then he went to buy his wine and stuff. I ate my bruch, watched 2 crime shows I recorded. Then he came back and then I felt very tired. Though I hadnt gone to gym, study jap and practiced guitar, I decided to drop them in favour of sleep.
Went to sleep around 3pm, then woke up its already near 7pm. Dont think can make it for gym, also dont feel up to it. Ate my Fruit Rojak for dinner. But cos mom came back, then she went downstairs to pack noodles and horfan, I ate some of them too. After dinner, feeling sian dunno cos is it didnt head out, didnt do much or the fact that the problems are not over anytime soon, decided to practice guitar instead.
Sat's guitar lesson was very taxing. Not used to the instructor's style. He is very fast and teaches many things. Some things he mentioned I have NO idea, cos he taught his class earlier in the modules, some is Musical theory, which I really dont have much knowledge. Though I had practiced about 3 times from Last Sat, I am that proficient in the current song. So in the lesson, missed at times esp when the songs are generally fast. Come out feeling sian, frustrated at myself and the lesson. But today after practicing, getting the hang of it. Need to practice more I guess?
At times like now, I still feel aimless. I guess this is how my whole life will be like. I seem to be searching for a higher aim/purpose though I understand at the back of my head that there is NO such. Hence its up to u to make meaning. Though I am doing a fair bit of stuff, my schedule involves from 3-5 weekdays out from late afternoon onwards, now even include a Sat. Yet the feeling of aimlessness doesnt leave me. Its more like IF I am busy enough, I dont think about things. I guess that's a partial function of a job, to keep u busy and tired enough, not to ponder on too many things in your life.
Generally I think many people are NOT HAPPY with their lives. Be it in terms of looks, money, job, family, other half or lack of other half, feelings of loneliness, worries of future, plagued by illness. There are aspects of happiness to be found if one looks closely but MANY REGRETS if one just generally think back on their earlier years.
At times, I feel it is important to MAKE PEACE with oneself. So like yes you had given up something then due to circumstances, BUT now are u able to pick it up? Yes you had lost an opportunity then, but what about now? I find if one can be at peace with the regrets, there is more inner peace and the same cycle wont happen repeatedly throughout one's life to create more regrets.
And of course it is easier said than done.
Dont live to regret, is something else that I am striving for besides living out one's dreams. I think they are different sides of the same coin.
I have briefly re-read through 4th set of jap notes to recap cos I did that about 2 days back. Think tomorrow then I do 5th set in case it affects my sleeping. I will try to tune my body clock back to normal timing. Hope to work towards 9am then 8am and sleep around 11.30pm, 12am. I will try.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Diet and Driving
Are dieting and driving related? Nope.
Diet
Its been almost an entire month of my mom running off to her hometown. At this point, there is NO MORE cooking for family. All meals are eaten out. Easier, save time and effort, and even cheaper. For this entire month, from monday to friday, everyday I wake up 9-10am and then go online first. Login evony to feed, poems to monitor shares, facebook to open restaurant, even other pages to read comics, watch animes and stuff.
Around 11.30 or so, I would ask my dad what he wants to eat for lunch, change and walk over next door to coffeeshop or even hawker centre to dabao back. For this whole month, bruch for me consists almost entirely of 杂菜饭 dabaoing. I started changing to eating chai fan with porridge 2-3 weeks back when my stomach wasnt so good and it stayed that way until now. Would add a pack of coffee or chestnut water depending on whether I wander over to the hawker centre. Inbetween there are days when I pay my bills, buy groccery eg milk, toilet paper, bread to restock the house for those who eat the bread for breakfast.
Dinner depends, if I went out in the late afternoon for driving and after that swimming, I would eat stuff like 麻油鸡 with rice or mostly Subway Chicken Breast sandwich (6 inch ones) Even a few evenings, I ended up eating Yong Tao Fu with rice. Very healthy indeed. In fact I am counting calorie quite closely when I do those. BUT for nights with Jap class and even Friday or when I head out, those seems to be the time when I over-eat. I do get hungry quite a bit, suspect is the porridge but still can be done if I make better food choices or eat smaller but more frequent meals, even eating earlier around 6pm helps. Last nite, I actually ate a foot-long subway chicken breast sandwich around 6.30pm, of course, I drink either Coke Lite or Coke Zero to help manage the calories.
Hmm I am developing a taste for Yong Tao Fu with rice, even craving for it today in the afternoon. Usually I dont even eat once a year but recently after eating with my sisters at the hawker stall, I have been eating there about another 5 times, mostly for dinner. I usually take 10 items, 2-3 are veg items, and eat with rice. I find it very filling, which is GOOD cos I wont have the temptation to eat anything else at night. It can last me until the next day easily. Same for a subway foot-long. Anything else, is not enough, unless there is Rice. Noodles dont last, that is why, Tab had to watch me go through a 'dinner' before jap and then another 'dinner' after jap eg MOF bento.
Today's into the 3rd week of exercising 3 times a week. Today is to be my 2nd exercise session but it was raining the whole afternoon and by the time I was done my first driving practical, and reached clementi, it was already 6.50pm. The skies were still very cloudy with drizzle. Feeling cold and hungry, I decided to postpone to tomorrow. Will set alarm clock to wake up earlier to go for a morning swim instead, hope it wont rain so early tomorrow. Then the other exercise maybe go back to gym on Sat afternoon or Sun afternoon. I better clock in more of swimming before the period comes. Women very inconvenient one, want to do a routine is 21 days to establish one, but takes just less than 7 days to break it. No wonder so tough to maintain an exercise regime.
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Driving
Today I started my first practical lesson. Headed down, started with learning how to check clutch oil, engine oil etc. Then in the driver's seat to practice adjusting position, mirror. Then doing clutch, brake and accelerate forward and same for reversing in a straight line. After that is to drive around the circuit staying in the same lane, involving turning too. Wow... quite a bit in a session. The car did stall several times cos released clutch too soon, even surged forward a few times for the same reason. After 100mins session, quite tired.
I have another 7 more lessons booked up until first week of Dec. After that week, JLPT3 would be over. Given most if not all the slots for driving are taken up except evening and weekend slots, no hurry to book them. Then since very much freed up, think would start looking for a job then. Was asking Tab to ask FH if there is anything to do also. Also would call up tuition centres to enquire. But until then first.
Want to focus on Jap and current things first. I did go through 1 more set of notes. Have 12 sets to read up. I have gone through 3 so far. Tonight will revise again, and try to do one more. Also use this time to settle resume and tidy up room. I tidied up the table yesterday. Now have a clean surface to do work but still the laptop is too distracting :) Have lots of clothes and even even footwear to tidy up in the room.
Though I was quite disappointed and frustrated with myself the day before, and yesterday but I am taking steps to moving forward. Feeling back to normal, guess its just my bruised ego.
Diet
Its been almost an entire month of my mom running off to her hometown. At this point, there is NO MORE cooking for family. All meals are eaten out. Easier, save time and effort, and even cheaper. For this entire month, from monday to friday, everyday I wake up 9-10am and then go online first. Login evony to feed, poems to monitor shares, facebook to open restaurant, even other pages to read comics, watch animes and stuff.
Around 11.30 or so, I would ask my dad what he wants to eat for lunch, change and walk over next door to coffeeshop or even hawker centre to dabao back. For this whole month, bruch for me consists almost entirely of 杂菜饭 dabaoing. I started changing to eating chai fan with porridge 2-3 weeks back when my stomach wasnt so good and it stayed that way until now. Would add a pack of coffee or chestnut water depending on whether I wander over to the hawker centre. Inbetween there are days when I pay my bills, buy groccery eg milk, toilet paper, bread to restock the house for those who eat the bread for breakfast.
Dinner depends, if I went out in the late afternoon for driving and after that swimming, I would eat stuff like 麻油鸡 with rice or mostly Subway Chicken Breast sandwich (6 inch ones) Even a few evenings, I ended up eating Yong Tao Fu with rice. Very healthy indeed. In fact I am counting calorie quite closely when I do those. BUT for nights with Jap class and even Friday or when I head out, those seems to be the time when I over-eat. I do get hungry quite a bit, suspect is the porridge but still can be done if I make better food choices or eat smaller but more frequent meals, even eating earlier around 6pm helps. Last nite, I actually ate a foot-long subway chicken breast sandwich around 6.30pm, of course, I drink either Coke Lite or Coke Zero to help manage the calories.
Hmm I am developing a taste for Yong Tao Fu with rice, even craving for it today in the afternoon. Usually I dont even eat once a year but recently after eating with my sisters at the hawker stall, I have been eating there about another 5 times, mostly for dinner. I usually take 10 items, 2-3 are veg items, and eat with rice. I find it very filling, which is GOOD cos I wont have the temptation to eat anything else at night. It can last me until the next day easily. Same for a subway foot-long. Anything else, is not enough, unless there is Rice. Noodles dont last, that is why, Tab had to watch me go through a 'dinner' before jap and then another 'dinner' after jap eg MOF bento.
Today's into the 3rd week of exercising 3 times a week. Today is to be my 2nd exercise session but it was raining the whole afternoon and by the time I was done my first driving practical, and reached clementi, it was already 6.50pm. The skies were still very cloudy with drizzle. Feeling cold and hungry, I decided to postpone to tomorrow. Will set alarm clock to wake up earlier to go for a morning swim instead, hope it wont rain so early tomorrow. Then the other exercise maybe go back to gym on Sat afternoon or Sun afternoon. I better clock in more of swimming before the period comes. Women very inconvenient one, want to do a routine is 21 days to establish one, but takes just less than 7 days to break it. No wonder so tough to maintain an exercise regime.
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Driving
Today I started my first practical lesson. Headed down, started with learning how to check clutch oil, engine oil etc. Then in the driver's seat to practice adjusting position, mirror. Then doing clutch, brake and accelerate forward and same for reversing in a straight line. After that is to drive around the circuit staying in the same lane, involving turning too. Wow... quite a bit in a session. The car did stall several times cos released clutch too soon, even surged forward a few times for the same reason. After 100mins session, quite tired.
I have another 7 more lessons booked up until first week of Dec. After that week, JLPT3 would be over. Given most if not all the slots for driving are taken up except evening and weekend slots, no hurry to book them. Then since very much freed up, think would start looking for a job then. Was asking Tab to ask FH if there is anything to do also. Also would call up tuition centres to enquire. But until then first.
Want to focus on Jap and current things first. I did go through 1 more set of notes. Have 12 sets to read up. I have gone through 3 so far. Tonight will revise again, and try to do one more. Also use this time to settle resume and tidy up room. I tidied up the table yesterday. Now have a clean surface to do work but still the laptop is too distracting :) Have lots of clothes and even even footwear to tidy up in the room.
Though I was quite disappointed and frustrated with myself the day before, and yesterday but I am taking steps to moving forward. Feeling back to normal, guess its just my bruised ego.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Halloween Cosplay
What to blog about?
What is still fresh in the memory is the Halloween. Actually the most fun part was the 'make-up' part. It was a very very rainy day. The rain was pouring down torrentially. I went out earlier for Guitar lesson which has been changed to another day. I joined a class that is a bit ahead of me. Had to go for prep lesson that cost me $40 for half an hour. Ouch, and it seems that one session wasnt enough to cover everything.
After lesson, headed back home and then ironed all the clothes, including the rented jacket, ate, bathed and stoned. I had a lot of problems trying to load j-rock pics into my I-Touch cos I was using my sister's laptop and there was new version of I-Tunes to load and stuff. So that took me quite a long while waiting... and delayed my leaving time to 6pm. We were supposed to meet up at Junction 8.
Lagi best, shortly after I left, it started drizzling. Decided to take a cab instead. Then the waters poured down until almost 0 visibility. Its so heavy, can see a bit of vehicle outline and vehicle tail and headlights. Arrived there, but cos of the heavy rain, the taxi took quite a while to reach the sheltered taxi stand. I bought sushi as part of my 'diet' cum eating better food choice. Gobbled it down with Tab who was already there. Then due to heavy rain, Quetzal came a bit later. They decided to eat at Macs and I ordered 20 piece nuggets and Coke Lite *yes I know, I know, the diet thing right*
Nevermind, ate 14 pieces, very full. Then headed together to Zhuan's place. Though while waiting for Quetzal to drive her car over cos it was on the top level open car park, Tab and I were threatening to push each other down the stairs or over the ledge cos of the slippery surface. Then IF we died cos of the fall, we would attend the Halloween party in 'spirit' and not in 'body'. LoL but luckily we refrained from turning into 2 spirits and reached Zhuan's place safely.
Zhuan and her family were having dinner so we sat around a bit first and chatted. The rain was still pouring. Quetzal and Tab went to help Quetzal lace up the corset. They took quite a while, later Zhuan went in to help. I just sat there and stone. Seriously a late night on Friday and waking up early on Saturday for guitar meant I was very stoned despite drinking that powerful Yuan Yang from Cathay basement - ChipShop. The guitar class very fast and learn many things in one go.
Later they came out with Quetzal nicely laced up in the corset. Leave the story of Que's corset to her to give her point of view. Zhuan started make-up for Quetzal. Her costume is a Gothic Lolita look, with a corset top and a pom pom lacy short skirt. The emphasis is the very dark eye-makeup and emphasis on the eyes and dark red lips. Then the hair is styled with a high ponytail.
After that was Tab's turn. Tab's look was the Geisha. The emphasis seems to be the eyes, with shades of pink which really reminds me of the Sakura. And the lips, which the lipstick is applied not to the entire lips but about half of it to make the lips look smaller than what it is actually. And to complete, a nicely done up bun. Oh yar btw, it was Tab's first time doing make-up (make-up) virgin :)
Tab was starting to sprout her jap and even teaching Quetzal how to say certain phrases. Then it was my turn. My look was to be the Visual Kei look. The emphasis is the dark eye make-up and the hair styling. I must say its my 3rd time being make-up by others. First time was Krynnder who helped me do one for resume photo years back. Basic makeup. Then 2nd time by others was for the studio photo. Also did my own basic make up for interviews and stuff. BUT it was my first time doing eye make-up. While Zhuan was doing my make-up, Tab and Quetzal were making so many remarks even jokes that I couldnt keep still or hold my breath when needed, even Zhuan had a hard time not laughing. Had to ask them to "Sjizuka ni naro". Then after the make-up, then its the hair. I must say that is a styling I have not really explored. Its a different look. But really need super strong gel to hold the hair up. Then put on jacket, viola, very Visual Kei 视觉系 indeed. Added a pale pink lip gloss cos lips too pale. Then they were all taking pics excitedly. For me cos without the glasses, kinda blurry and stuff. Posed a bit here and there for their entertainment.
Zhuan and her bf helped to take some group pics and individual pics. Then we headed out to fetch FH who was still in office. It was already 11.35pm then. But it was a fun session. FH came onboard and started laughing... dunno why though. We reached Zouk past 12am and there were so many costumed pple hanging around outside. You got an entire spectrum of costumes. Tonnes of cigarette smoke also...
After some milling around and confusion, we squeezed our way into the member's area to join Quetzal's collegues at a table. We let her entertain her collegues while we looked down at the dance floor with all sorts of costumes milling around. The music is trance but after some time, the music warpped to become noise to me, only left the beat. Tab was egging me to 'move' and 'dance' to work off the 14 nuggets but seriously I dont dance, dont know how and just moving left and right, up and down is NOT dance to me.
After an hour (I guess) FH asked if we were okay to go outside, which we agreed. It was another big squeeze through the thick bodies of pple. I kept my sleeves towards me cos there were 2 delicate chains on the cuffs which could be easily broken given the way pple were squeezing and pushing around to move about (Quetzal called me today, it seems the one of the chains DID break or whatever and it meant I had to buy that jacket. The cost will have to check with her again, oh well. Next time, either buy straight or get one without such delicate chains around cos seriously dont think can survive this type of crowd and pushing. The 2 bat cushion on the cuffs with the tiny bat hanging on the small chain can be zipped off, so I can still use it as a funky jacket.) I didnt manage to check both th chains after I got out. Was a bit stoned and we stood aroud looking at the other costumes while waiting. Saw a few He-male I guess, Tab was tramatized by the man-boobs the size of papaya on a guy who was wearing very short shorts with fishnet stockings. I only saw the back. Another was a guy who dressed in girl school pinnafold and he was putting his skirt over his male friend's head, who was seated on the ground. My eyes also hurt.
A car stopped next to us and one guy said to Tab "You look very hot!" (quick time to distort the truth to Df) Then he pointed at FH (whose costume was supposed to be 'dreassed as a man') and said "You are Hot too!" (distort truth time) and then he ended off "You are all fucking hot!"... Hot in the sweating part, spot-on.
We waited for Quetzal and headed over to use the toilet at the 24hr prata shop next door. Drank an iced milo and a coke zero. No food for me, wasnt hungry. Then FH drove Quet's car to the office, changed to his car and drove us home. Very gentlemanly of him.
I tried washing off the make-up with oil-based moisturizer and face-wash but couldnt get some off. Then my sister woke up for toilet and I asked her if she got make-up remover. She passed me a bottle of Johnson's baby oil which can be used for hair, face, elbow, knee and even remove make-up. Poured some on a piece of paper and wiped, very effective! I was wiping off the make-up very very easily. Then washed hair with warm water and had a good bath. Was waiting for hair to dry naturally and headed online. Slept 6am.
Definitely an enjoyable and memorable experience. Done my dressing up for halloween and cosplay targets.
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Woke up 11.30am the next day, to dig out and iron clothes for wedding for that evening. Had agreed to meet Tab for her wedding convention at Pan Pac. Didnt know my sister wanted to treat the family to birthday treat and they had postponed for me cos I was out on Sat. Ops, had to asked them to go without me. Sun was to be another day fully out.
Must say the wedding gowns being showcased, most are interesting and even beautiful. Photography not allowed so Tab was using her I-Touch to quickly doodle down the designs that appealled to her. Had my first taste of Champange, 2 glasses. Was joking with Tab that I would get drunk before the wedding in the evening. Also I was trying very hard to psycho Tab to get "fried rice with fried silver fish", ate the most delicious silverfish at another ex-collegue's wedding some years back. But she like the BORING and TYPICAL and STEREOTYPICAL and OLD-FASHION and COMMON and PLAIN ee-mee *pui pui* I must try to visit that restaurant again to eat Fried silverfish (not those in ur books but small fish)
DF came shortly after the show ended and we stood around for him to catch a glimpse of the models standing around still in wedding outfits. BUT I feel very 'bright'. We headed to Starbucks where I tried not to evesdrop and butt in when both of them were discussing their stuff. Was reading my Jap notes despite being even more stoned. Around 6.30pm, I headed off, walking more demurely cos I was in ladies slippers for the wedding.
Saw many collegues and had a good time laughing and talking over the dinner. But cos 8 in the table and all gals, ate until very very full. Also it started late, near 8.45pm and dishes were being hurried out. But it was a good time to catch up though many asked what I was doing, told them being an unemployment statistic and stuff.
One was nice to get her hubby to send me back home. Saved some cab money and time. Changed out, online a bit and then slept earlier. Totally knocked out until 10am.
What is still fresh in the memory is the Halloween. Actually the most fun part was the 'make-up' part. It was a very very rainy day. The rain was pouring down torrentially. I went out earlier for Guitar lesson which has been changed to another day. I joined a class that is a bit ahead of me. Had to go for prep lesson that cost me $40 for half an hour. Ouch, and it seems that one session wasnt enough to cover everything.
After lesson, headed back home and then ironed all the clothes, including the rented jacket, ate, bathed and stoned. I had a lot of problems trying to load j-rock pics into my I-Touch cos I was using my sister's laptop and there was new version of I-Tunes to load and stuff. So that took me quite a long while waiting... and delayed my leaving time to 6pm. We were supposed to meet up at Junction 8.
Lagi best, shortly after I left, it started drizzling. Decided to take a cab instead. Then the waters poured down until almost 0 visibility. Its so heavy, can see a bit of vehicle outline and vehicle tail and headlights. Arrived there, but cos of the heavy rain, the taxi took quite a while to reach the sheltered taxi stand. I bought sushi as part of my 'diet' cum eating better food choice. Gobbled it down with Tab who was already there. Then due to heavy rain, Quetzal came a bit later. They decided to eat at Macs and I ordered 20 piece nuggets and Coke Lite *yes I know, I know, the diet thing right*
Nevermind, ate 14 pieces, very full. Then headed together to Zhuan's place. Though while waiting for Quetzal to drive her car over cos it was on the top level open car park, Tab and I were threatening to push each other down the stairs or over the ledge cos of the slippery surface. Then IF we died cos of the fall, we would attend the Halloween party in 'spirit' and not in 'body'. LoL but luckily we refrained from turning into 2 spirits and reached Zhuan's place safely.
Zhuan and her family were having dinner so we sat around a bit first and chatted. The rain was still pouring. Quetzal and Tab went to help Quetzal lace up the corset. They took quite a while, later Zhuan went in to help. I just sat there and stone. Seriously a late night on Friday and waking up early on Saturday for guitar meant I was very stoned despite drinking that powerful Yuan Yang from Cathay basement - ChipShop. The guitar class very fast and learn many things in one go.
Later they came out with Quetzal nicely laced up in the corset. Leave the story of Que's corset to her to give her point of view. Zhuan started make-up for Quetzal. Her costume is a Gothic Lolita look, with a corset top and a pom pom lacy short skirt. The emphasis is the very dark eye-makeup and emphasis on the eyes and dark red lips. Then the hair is styled with a high ponytail.
After that was Tab's turn. Tab's look was the Geisha. The emphasis seems to be the eyes, with shades of pink which really reminds me of the Sakura. And the lips, which the lipstick is applied not to the entire lips but about half of it to make the lips look smaller than what it is actually. And to complete, a nicely done up bun. Oh yar btw, it was Tab's first time doing make-up (make-up) virgin :)
Tab was starting to sprout her jap and even teaching Quetzal how to say certain phrases. Then it was my turn. My look was to be the Visual Kei look. The emphasis is the dark eye make-up and the hair styling. I must say its my 3rd time being make-up by others. First time was Krynnder who helped me do one for resume photo years back. Basic makeup. Then 2nd time by others was for the studio photo. Also did my own basic make up for interviews and stuff. BUT it was my first time doing eye make-up. While Zhuan was doing my make-up, Tab and Quetzal were making so many remarks even jokes that I couldnt keep still or hold my breath when needed, even Zhuan had a hard time not laughing. Had to ask them to "Sjizuka ni naro". Then after the make-up, then its the hair. I must say that is a styling I have not really explored. Its a different look. But really need super strong gel to hold the hair up. Then put on jacket, viola, very Visual Kei 视觉系 indeed. Added a pale pink lip gloss cos lips too pale. Then they were all taking pics excitedly. For me cos without the glasses, kinda blurry and stuff. Posed a bit here and there for their entertainment.
Zhuan and her bf helped to take some group pics and individual pics. Then we headed out to fetch FH who was still in office. It was already 11.35pm then. But it was a fun session. FH came onboard and started laughing... dunno why though. We reached Zouk past 12am and there were so many costumed pple hanging around outside. You got an entire spectrum of costumes. Tonnes of cigarette smoke also...
After some milling around and confusion, we squeezed our way into the member's area to join Quetzal's collegues at a table. We let her entertain her collegues while we looked down at the dance floor with all sorts of costumes milling around. The music is trance but after some time, the music warpped to become noise to me, only left the beat. Tab was egging me to 'move' and 'dance' to work off the 14 nuggets but seriously I dont dance, dont know how and just moving left and right, up and down is NOT dance to me.
After an hour (I guess) FH asked if we were okay to go outside, which we agreed. It was another big squeeze through the thick bodies of pple. I kept my sleeves towards me cos there were 2 delicate chains on the cuffs which could be easily broken given the way pple were squeezing and pushing around to move about (Quetzal called me today, it seems the one of the chains DID break or whatever and it meant I had to buy that jacket. The cost will have to check with her again, oh well. Next time, either buy straight or get one without such delicate chains around cos seriously dont think can survive this type of crowd and pushing. The 2 bat cushion on the cuffs with the tiny bat hanging on the small chain can be zipped off, so I can still use it as a funky jacket.) I didnt manage to check both th chains after I got out. Was a bit stoned and we stood aroud looking at the other costumes while waiting. Saw a few He-male I guess, Tab was tramatized by the man-boobs the size of papaya on a guy who was wearing very short shorts with fishnet stockings. I only saw the back. Another was a guy who dressed in girl school pinnafold and he was putting his skirt over his male friend's head, who was seated on the ground. My eyes also hurt.
A car stopped next to us and one guy said to Tab "You look very hot!" (quick time to distort the truth to Df) Then he pointed at FH (whose costume was supposed to be 'dreassed as a man') and said "You are Hot too!" (distort truth time) and then he ended off "You are all fucking hot!"... Hot in the sweating part, spot-on.
We waited for Quetzal and headed over to use the toilet at the 24hr prata shop next door. Drank an iced milo and a coke zero. No food for me, wasnt hungry. Then FH drove Quet's car to the office, changed to his car and drove us home. Very gentlemanly of him.
I tried washing off the make-up with oil-based moisturizer and face-wash but couldnt get some off. Then my sister woke up for toilet and I asked her if she got make-up remover. She passed me a bottle of Johnson's baby oil which can be used for hair, face, elbow, knee and even remove make-up. Poured some on a piece of paper and wiped, very effective! I was wiping off the make-up very very easily. Then washed hair with warm water and had a good bath. Was waiting for hair to dry naturally and headed online. Slept 6am.
Definitely an enjoyable and memorable experience. Done my dressing up for halloween and cosplay targets.
_____________________________________________
Woke up 11.30am the next day, to dig out and iron clothes for wedding for that evening. Had agreed to meet Tab for her wedding convention at Pan Pac. Didnt know my sister wanted to treat the family to birthday treat and they had postponed for me cos I was out on Sat. Ops, had to asked them to go without me. Sun was to be another day fully out.
Must say the wedding gowns being showcased, most are interesting and even beautiful. Photography not allowed so Tab was using her I-Touch to quickly doodle down the designs that appealled to her. Had my first taste of Champange, 2 glasses. Was joking with Tab that I would get drunk before the wedding in the evening. Also I was trying very hard to psycho Tab to get "fried rice with fried silver fish", ate the most delicious silverfish at another ex-collegue's wedding some years back. But she like the BORING and TYPICAL and STEREOTYPICAL and OLD-FASHION and COMMON and PLAIN ee-mee *pui pui* I must try to visit that restaurant again to eat Fried silverfish (not those in ur books but small fish)
DF came shortly after the show ended and we stood around for him to catch a glimpse of the models standing around still in wedding outfits. BUT I feel very 'bright'. We headed to Starbucks where I tried not to evesdrop and butt in when both of them were discussing their stuff. Was reading my Jap notes despite being even more stoned. Around 6.30pm, I headed off, walking more demurely cos I was in ladies slippers for the wedding.
Saw many collegues and had a good time laughing and talking over the dinner. But cos 8 in the table and all gals, ate until very very full. Also it started late, near 8.45pm and dishes were being hurried out. But it was a good time to catch up though many asked what I was doing, told them being an unemployment statistic and stuff.
One was nice to get her hubby to send me back home. Saved some cab money and time. Changed out, online a bit and then slept earlier. Totally knocked out until 10am.
Monday, October 26, 2009
A list of things to do b4 u die
I think all of us have things that we really want to do but are unable to cos of time, financial constraints. Sometimes even during ur off days, u cant seem to bring urself to lift a finger to do something. Would be so tired on days that u just wanna hide at home, sleep or just go out and chill, eat and drink instead.
As the years passes by, the list of things u WANT to do grows longer and longer. Yet u find u cant/dont have the time to do all of them. In a blink, its almost a decade, or soon, u'll be old and retired. Hopefully you are able to finally pick up the list and start doing some of them. Though you might not be physically or mentally capable of doing some by then. Provided u dont come up with a whole routine during retirement eg eat and sleep and watch tv only as a time filler of sorts.
Hmm sometimes when we have time on our hands, suddenly we 'don't know' where to start or what to do. Hence the common complaint of boredom. Think it would be good to start with a list of up to 10 things and start from there. You can even do a cost-analysis eg if its a course, set a time frame if its a skill etc.
What's my 10 things to do before I die? *Thinks I have quite a number but lemme get started on writing down what comes to mind*
1) Learn the electric guitar and master it
2) Go visit Japan esp for Sakura season
3) Learn Japanese
4) Learn to be a driver
5) Learn to play acoustic guitar
6) Learn how to swim well
7) Learn to cook and bake desserts, to master at least 10 dishes each
8) Know how to make several alcoholic drinks by memory instead of book
9) Go visit Australia with a farm stay to lie on grass and pick strawberries
10) Master the swave board
11) Have a lean and fit and toned body, esp a much flatter stomach, despite aging.
12) Have a good in-depth idea of musical theory and can apply
13) Socialize more so that I can have more guy friends. Miss having guy friends not so much for bf but the activities that guys can add to a group.
14) Able to play Weiqi well
15) Can make at least 10 of those blended non-alholic drinks by memory
16) Learn to compose musical pieces
17) Learn to be a chef in dessert
18) Learn to draw and design clothes/furnishings, to give life to an idea/design
19) Learn Bahasa Malay
20) Learn some card magic tricks
Other more trival stuff to try at least once in a lifetime like
21) Wave-boarding
22) Go for a Halloween party and dress up
23) Bungee (dunno if i really can go thru with it)
24) Cosplay
25) Fly in a glider
26) play the guitar well on the beach under the setting sun/moonlight
27) Surfing
28) Drinking sake under Cherry Blossom trees
29) Fly in a helicoptor
30) Go for a ladies arm wrestling contest (for the heck)
Hmm kinda exhausted my brain at the moment.
Some I am already doing like 3,4,5,6. Some are in the works. Some I dont know when I will get about doing them. Quite a number involves money to do, some wont be immediate once off but takes lots of time and effort. But for me if it is what I really want to do at least once in a lifetime, it wont be too expensive unless I cramp them all together. Some just have to pursue together with working.
Looking through I am surprised at some of the items that come to mind. Hmm better note this down and start doing.
Live each day like ur last and you will never be bored, live life doing what u really want to do and it will never be meaningless.
To make a memory, hopefully a good one, to last a lifetime.
As the years passes by, the list of things u WANT to do grows longer and longer. Yet u find u cant/dont have the time to do all of them. In a blink, its almost a decade, or soon, u'll be old and retired. Hopefully you are able to finally pick up the list and start doing some of them. Though you might not be physically or mentally capable of doing some by then. Provided u dont come up with a whole routine during retirement eg eat and sleep and watch tv only as a time filler of sorts.
Hmm sometimes when we have time on our hands, suddenly we 'don't know' where to start or what to do. Hence the common complaint of boredom. Think it would be good to start with a list of up to 10 things and start from there. You can even do a cost-analysis eg if its a course, set a time frame if its a skill etc.
What's my 10 things to do before I die? *Thinks I have quite a number but lemme get started on writing down what comes to mind*
1) Learn the electric guitar and master it
2) Go visit Japan esp for Sakura season
3) Learn Japanese
4) Learn to be a driver
5) Learn to play acoustic guitar
6) Learn how to swim well
7) Learn to cook and bake desserts, to master at least 10 dishes each
8) Know how to make several alcoholic drinks by memory instead of book
9) Go visit Australia with a farm stay to lie on grass and pick strawberries
10) Master the swave board
11) Have a lean and fit and toned body, esp a much flatter stomach, despite aging.
12) Have a good in-depth idea of musical theory and can apply
13) Socialize more so that I can have more guy friends. Miss having guy friends not so much for bf but the activities that guys can add to a group.
14) Able to play Weiqi well
15) Can make at least 10 of those blended non-alholic drinks by memory
16) Learn to compose musical pieces
17) Learn to be a chef in dessert
18) Learn to draw and design clothes/furnishings, to give life to an idea/design
19) Learn Bahasa Malay
20) Learn some card magic tricks
Other more trival stuff to try at least once in a lifetime like
21) Wave-boarding
22) Go for a Halloween party and dress up
23) Bungee (dunno if i really can go thru with it)
24) Cosplay
25) Fly in a glider
26) play the guitar well on the beach under the setting sun/moonlight
27) Surfing
28) Drinking sake under Cherry Blossom trees
29) Fly in a helicoptor
30) Go for a ladies arm wrestling contest (for the heck)
Hmm kinda exhausted my brain at the moment.
Some I am already doing like 3,4,5,6. Some are in the works. Some I dont know when I will get about doing them. Quite a number involves money to do, some wont be immediate once off but takes lots of time and effort. But for me if it is what I really want to do at least once in a lifetime, it wont be too expensive unless I cramp them all together. Some just have to pursue together with working.
Looking through I am surprised at some of the items that come to mind. Hmm better note this down and start doing.
Live each day like ur last and you will never be bored, live life doing what u really want to do and it will never be meaningless.
To make a memory, hopefully a good one, to last a lifetime.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Turning 'Soft'
Cos I wanted to resolutely lose weight. Weight kept going up, reaching a new record. I dont want to hit 70kg! So I better do it NOW. No other ways except
1) Make better food choices
2) Exercise more and regularly.
I have done 2 sessions of swimming this week, trying to align them on the same days as my driving school sessions so I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But going swimming 3 times would make things kinda boring. I did it a few months back while I was still working but kept having a strong sense of deja vu esp if the swims were on consecutive days.
Today around 5pm, I headed to the Clementi Gym. Its been a long while since I've gone to a gym, was using swimming to lose weight instead. So I targeted exercise for the thighs, stomach and triceps/shoulders cos all of these are my problem areas where I wish to tighten up.
The slider was tough. My initial target was 20mins of that but after 5mins my legs turned jelly. Alright will use 5mins as a base to build up upon. Then I headed to do the machines. Strength wise for the machines, I found that except my quads (front of the thighs muscle) the rest all detoriated in terms of Strength. Couldnt do as heavy as I did previously. But I did 2-3 sets of 20-35s for the specific machines. Then ended with the free weights. Could only do 1 set of the routine that I used to do. Did stretches and then left. About 53mins of workout and my hands were trembling from the exertion.
In-line with better food choice, I dabao Subway sandwich 6inch and drank Coke Light. Reached home, bathed, ate that and 2 sweet potato. Then practiced guitar, now online. Later dunno if I have energy to tidy up table and/or room a bit. Think my jap homework have to be deferred. My eyes are closing... Did slap on lots of Muscular ache cream to prevent the pain from 'overexerted, long time no use' muscle aches. Hope I covered the spots, or will have a tough time for at least 2days.
_________________________________________
While I was on my way home, i thought of Quetzal's invitation to get me to go for the upcoming Halloween party (aks at disco) I had turned her down cos that day is my sister's bdae. But it suddenly struck me. Hmm if I dont go for this one, when will I ever go? Next year, the year after that? So like a pity that I just turned down cos of own fears of whatever. Was toying with the idea of going instead, breaking out of the 'comfort zone' thingy like what Tab was nagging me about. Even to say next time, "Been there, Done that." Hmm since costumes can be rented, I just treat it as a "one of the things to do once in a lifetime" Smsed Quetzal, hope to drag Tab with me to the costume rental shop. Just keep reminding myself, 'once in a lifetime'
1) Make better food choices
2) Exercise more and regularly.
I have done 2 sessions of swimming this week, trying to align them on the same days as my driving school sessions so I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone. But going swimming 3 times would make things kinda boring. I did it a few months back while I was still working but kept having a strong sense of deja vu esp if the swims were on consecutive days.
Today around 5pm, I headed to the Clementi Gym. Its been a long while since I've gone to a gym, was using swimming to lose weight instead. So I targeted exercise for the thighs, stomach and triceps/shoulders cos all of these are my problem areas where I wish to tighten up.
The slider was tough. My initial target was 20mins of that but after 5mins my legs turned jelly. Alright will use 5mins as a base to build up upon. Then I headed to do the machines. Strength wise for the machines, I found that except my quads (front of the thighs muscle) the rest all detoriated in terms of Strength. Couldnt do as heavy as I did previously. But I did 2-3 sets of 20-35s for the specific machines. Then ended with the free weights. Could only do 1 set of the routine that I used to do. Did stretches and then left. About 53mins of workout and my hands were trembling from the exertion.
In-line with better food choice, I dabao Subway sandwich 6inch and drank Coke Light. Reached home, bathed, ate that and 2 sweet potato. Then practiced guitar, now online. Later dunno if I have energy to tidy up table and/or room a bit. Think my jap homework have to be deferred. My eyes are closing... Did slap on lots of Muscular ache cream to prevent the pain from 'overexerted, long time no use' muscle aches. Hope I covered the spots, or will have a tough time for at least 2days.
_________________________________________
While I was on my way home, i thought of Quetzal's invitation to get me to go for the upcoming Halloween party (aks at disco) I had turned her down cos that day is my sister's bdae. But it suddenly struck me. Hmm if I dont go for this one, when will I ever go? Next year, the year after that? So like a pity that I just turned down cos of own fears of whatever. Was toying with the idea of going instead, breaking out of the 'comfort zone' thingy like what Tab was nagging me about. Even to say next time, "Been there, Done that." Hmm since costumes can be rented, I just treat it as a "one of the things to do once in a lifetime" Smsed Quetzal, hope to drag Tab with me to the costume rental shop. Just keep reminding myself, 'once in a lifetime'
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Scratch that...
Yes in my post this morning, I was aiming to spend only RM$200 instead of RM$400, but I have failed.
3 pairs of ladies slippers/shoes => RM$124 (average RM$42 or S$$17.10 per pair)
New bag, with 3 tops => RM$86.08 (after the discount of RM$50 if you purchase RM$150, my bag alone cost RM$80 before all the discount)
Lunch at A&W => RM$15
Dinner at Jap place => RM$34
Sweet Potatoes => RM$10.40
2x Charcoal bread, 2 cheesecake => RM$15
Prepaid phone top-up => RM$20
Supermarket stuff => RM$22.60
Small pouch for PSP => RM$15.90
Underwear => RM$10
2nd Link toll and misc including petrol => RM$20
Massage for 1hr, purely neck and shoulder (VERY VERY GOOD) => RM$90 (with tip)
GRAND TOTAL of RM$463 (or roughly S$191.32) which is in the region of what I spent the other time...
Hmm... I am turning into a shopping whore!!! This is a worrying development.
But looking through the purchases, I am buying things that I need... Need a new bag to replace ageing and starting to have hole, sling bag.
Need ladies slippers for weddings, need a few plain tops without prints instead of the numerous printed Ts that I wear.
Need massage for my stiff neck and shoulders.
Need to top up prepaid card cos its value low, at least this time my supermarket stuff decreased by more than 2/3 compared to the other time, easily RM$80.
Oh well, there is going to be a next time, next trip I aim for max RM$300 bah.
_____________________________________________
Anyway I wish to write about the massage session. At Thai Odessey, they offered only 30mins of back massage which I did the last time we went into Jusco Tebrau last month. It was very good cos my neck didnt creak for 1 week. Thereafter it returned but taking the Glucosamine has helped it, less creaking.
We went into to Jusco Indrah and arrived near 2pm, a very big improvment of timing. 2The massage, I decided to go for a 2 set of 30mins half body to make an hour. So after all the shopping and eating are done, we headed there at 8pm.
The thai lady who massaged me is very good. She is rather gentle when needed and yet can press hard enough to hit the right spots. A few times, while pressing a certain spot, she asked me if "pain". Cos she cant speak much english, some simple words, I interpret it as she like saying those particular spots seem stiff or something so that would be causing me 'pain'
Then cos its 1hr instead of 30mins, she started asking first where I would like to do more, I pointed neck and shoulders, so she did a good bit of kneading and massaging around the neck first. Then I laid down for her to do the shoulders.
She had asked me earlier if I was alright with balm, which I agreed to. Unexpectedly after that, she bared my back and used the balm to do massage (must be those oil type which I havent done), felt a bit paiseh cos my figure not that good, must have fats to knead but after a while, it felt good enough to 'forget' the slight embarassment. After the long massage with balm and oil, she came back with a HOT piece of towel to warm the back and also more pressing with the hot towel. It was very shiok cos at first the balm was cold but after kneading felt warm, later got a bit cool but with the hot towel, very shiok.
Then cover back and continue more on neck and shoulder. Finally sat up and more neck and shoulder. Finally cracking the bones. She did about 5-6 different ways of cracking my bones, though only one managed to get lots of sound. Guess my bones are alright but it felt good. Gave her a bigger tip cos I was very satisfied with her service (wanted to give RM$10 but wondered if it was too much, settled for a bit lesser) Man that is a very satisfying back massage. Think I rather continue to go for half body massage esp for neck and shoulders instead of full body. They are so much for comfortable and relaxing and way more effective for me :) That is money well-spent indeed.
3 pairs of ladies slippers/shoes => RM$124 (average RM$42 or S$$17.10 per pair)
New bag, with 3 tops => RM$86.08 (after the discount of RM$50 if you purchase RM$150, my bag alone cost RM$80 before all the discount)
Lunch at A&W => RM$15
Dinner at Jap place => RM$34
Sweet Potatoes => RM$10.40
2x Charcoal bread, 2 cheesecake => RM$15
Prepaid phone top-up => RM$20
Supermarket stuff => RM$22.60
Small pouch for PSP => RM$15.90
Underwear => RM$10
2nd Link toll and misc including petrol => RM$20
Massage for 1hr, purely neck and shoulder (VERY VERY GOOD) => RM$90 (with tip)
GRAND TOTAL of RM$463 (or roughly S$191.32) which is in the region of what I spent the other time...
Hmm... I am turning into a shopping whore!!! This is a worrying development.
But looking through the purchases, I am buying things that I need... Need a new bag to replace ageing and starting to have hole, sling bag.
Need ladies slippers for weddings, need a few plain tops without prints instead of the numerous printed Ts that I wear.
Need massage for my stiff neck and shoulders.
Need to top up prepaid card cos its value low, at least this time my supermarket stuff decreased by more than 2/3 compared to the other time, easily RM$80.
Oh well, there is going to be a next time, next trip I aim for max RM$300 bah.
_____________________________________________
Anyway I wish to write about the massage session. At Thai Odessey, they offered only 30mins of back massage which I did the last time we went into Jusco Tebrau last month. It was very good cos my neck didnt creak for 1 week. Thereafter it returned but taking the Glucosamine has helped it, less creaking.
We went into to Jusco Indrah and arrived near 2pm, a very big improvment of timing. 2The massage, I decided to go for a 2 set of 30mins half body to make an hour. So after all the shopping and eating are done, we headed there at 8pm.
The thai lady who massaged me is very good. She is rather gentle when needed and yet can press hard enough to hit the right spots. A few times, while pressing a certain spot, she asked me if "pain". Cos she cant speak much english, some simple words, I interpret it as she like saying those particular spots seem stiff or something so that would be causing me 'pain'
Then cos its 1hr instead of 30mins, she started asking first where I would like to do more, I pointed neck and shoulders, so she did a good bit of kneading and massaging around the neck first. Then I laid down for her to do the shoulders.
She had asked me earlier if I was alright with balm, which I agreed to. Unexpectedly after that, she bared my back and used the balm to do massage (must be those oil type which I havent done), felt a bit paiseh cos my figure not that good, must have fats to knead but after a while, it felt good enough to 'forget' the slight embarassment. After the long massage with balm and oil, she came back with a HOT piece of towel to warm the back and also more pressing with the hot towel. It was very shiok cos at first the balm was cold but after kneading felt warm, later got a bit cool but with the hot towel, very shiok.
Then cover back and continue more on neck and shoulder. Finally sat up and more neck and shoulder. Finally cracking the bones. She did about 5-6 different ways of cracking my bones, though only one managed to get lots of sound. Guess my bones are alright but it felt good. Gave her a bigger tip cos I was very satisfied with her service (wanted to give RM$10 but wondered if it was too much, settled for a bit lesser) Man that is a very satisfying back massage. Think I rather continue to go for half body massage esp for neck and shoulders instead of full body. They are so much for comfortable and relaxing and way more effective for me :) That is money well-spent indeed.
An early morning on a Sat
Yep I woke up at 8.45am with the help of an alarm clock. Washed up and sat infront of laptop to feed my virtual army and run my virtual restaurant.
Is that the sole reason? Nope today heading to JB and hopefully we can reach a bit earlier than what we did the past few times. Maybe its cos I am used to reaching there before lunch, eat lunch and still can walk around alot and by the time, reached home, around 3-4pm. But of course that was with my Dad and there's no massage involved. Just mainly banking, breakfast/lunch, shopping around for Dvds, stationary, clothes etc. Ya so kinda used to those timing with regards to doing stuff in JB.
Another thing is that I kinda want to stretch out weekends, even before I am unemployed, always try to wake up earlier, or head out earlier so that by the time, everything is done, its still not that late to reach home, feel fulfilled and sleep. Though it can be said that everyday should be a Sunday cos I am not working but those days have stuff to do. Plus getting up at this timing everyday is currently not easy for a Night Owl.
Hmm I checked my JB bank account, still got some that I can spend, rather not change. Still have some RM in the Share trading account, though havent found out how to draw those out. Hmm... that's what I will do. Will control my spending also, no more RM$400, make it half that.
Is that the sole reason? Nope today heading to JB and hopefully we can reach a bit earlier than what we did the past few times. Maybe its cos I am used to reaching there before lunch, eat lunch and still can walk around alot and by the time, reached home, around 3-4pm. But of course that was with my Dad and there's no massage involved. Just mainly banking, breakfast/lunch, shopping around for Dvds, stationary, clothes etc. Ya so kinda used to those timing with regards to doing stuff in JB.
Another thing is that I kinda want to stretch out weekends, even before I am unemployed, always try to wake up earlier, or head out earlier so that by the time, everything is done, its still not that late to reach home, feel fulfilled and sleep. Though it can be said that everyday should be a Sunday cos I am not working but those days have stuff to do. Plus getting up at this timing everyday is currently not easy for a Night Owl.
Hmm I checked my JB bank account, still got some that I can spend, rather not change. Still have some RM in the Share trading account, though havent found out how to draw those out. Hmm... that's what I will do. Will control my spending also, no more RM$400, make it half that.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Still Passive?!?
Today is quite a fulfiling day. Perhaps it was the activities and the progress I am making that makes me feel so, though the nagging feeling of what to do next is still somewhere at the back of the head.
On the driving front, I passed my Final Theory Evaluation. Am heading on track for the Final Theory Test on 2nd November, less than 2 weeks from now. After which, I had booked 2 slots for practical and will intensify after 1-2 times to get the hang of things.
On the 'exercising' front. I weighed myself 2 days back and am shocked that I had gained weight even though my stomach is rather unstable for 2 weeks and I had been eating generally porridge for lunch on most days. Yet weight went up. Strange is my 3/4 dont feel tight BUT the based on the weighing scale, my FAT % has gone up from 33 to 35%! Man, I would have to try to make better food choices, eat lesser and also exercise more. There is just no way around this maxim "Exercise more, Eat less" which also coincides with the finanical maxim "Earn more, Spend less"
I managed to swim a 2nd time this week. This time, no naked Aunty phew, very little pple in the medium pool. I felt stronger this time, could do 16 laps. Around 12th lap, felt tired but persisted on to finish my target. Then head to have a cold, long shower in the changing room and ate a very early dinner at 5pm. Headed home, and watched a bit of Cable tv. My dad went out shortly after I came back. Mom's not back yet from her 3rd run-off. Ate my peeled apples, still have some left to finish up.
Tomorrow, have to meet another insurance agent, then maybe think of another exercise session or I would have to go home again to come out again later for dinner. Hmm... I would rather stay out if I can, but what to do and where to go to use up the time is a question that is still unanswered. Hmm but I still think getting out to walk around, look at people, is still way better than staying at home, online doing virtual gaming or just finding stuff online. Its more productive, in my opinion than to delve more into oneself.
Though Tab would disagree and as she had strongly advised me to 'break out of my comfort zone' by doing other stuff... which I dont find appealing at the moment. Then her warning of "or else, you will become like your father...." does scare me. Yet some activities that I listed to her, she said those are still 'passive' and still does not have much socializing aspect. Well unless I go and join a church group where there is more socializing, others with such socializing would only include 2 others that I can think of, dating groups *nope* and sports/adventure groups, the latter is much more appealing.
Hmm... try to pick up a martial art? Go for dance class? (but I dont like social dancing), go CC course but those most likely meet middle age pple, cooking class - meet aunties, go SportsCounsel courses, most likely meet ladies trying to lose weight. This is tough.
I would rather save up a bit to buy both a Blender and an Oven so that I can make more drinks and even try baking cookies, making cakes and even enclairs. They seem simple enough.
On the driving front, I passed my Final Theory Evaluation. Am heading on track for the Final Theory Test on 2nd November, less than 2 weeks from now. After which, I had booked 2 slots for practical and will intensify after 1-2 times to get the hang of things.
On the 'exercising' front. I weighed myself 2 days back and am shocked that I had gained weight even though my stomach is rather unstable for 2 weeks and I had been eating generally porridge for lunch on most days. Yet weight went up. Strange is my 3/4 dont feel tight BUT the based on the weighing scale, my FAT % has gone up from 33 to 35%! Man, I would have to try to make better food choices, eat lesser and also exercise more. There is just no way around this maxim "Exercise more, Eat less" which also coincides with the finanical maxim "Earn more, Spend less"
I managed to swim a 2nd time this week. This time, no naked Aunty phew, very little pple in the medium pool. I felt stronger this time, could do 16 laps. Around 12th lap, felt tired but persisted on to finish my target. Then head to have a cold, long shower in the changing room and ate a very early dinner at 5pm. Headed home, and watched a bit of Cable tv. My dad went out shortly after I came back. Mom's not back yet from her 3rd run-off. Ate my peeled apples, still have some left to finish up.
Tomorrow, have to meet another insurance agent, then maybe think of another exercise session or I would have to go home again to come out again later for dinner. Hmm... I would rather stay out if I can, but what to do and where to go to use up the time is a question that is still unanswered. Hmm but I still think getting out to walk around, look at people, is still way better than staying at home, online doing virtual gaming or just finding stuff online. Its more productive, in my opinion than to delve more into oneself.
Though Tab would disagree and as she had strongly advised me to 'break out of my comfort zone' by doing other stuff... which I dont find appealing at the moment. Then her warning of "or else, you will become like your father...." does scare me. Yet some activities that I listed to her, she said those are still 'passive' and still does not have much socializing aspect. Well unless I go and join a church group where there is more socializing, others with such socializing would only include 2 others that I can think of, dating groups *nope* and sports/adventure groups, the latter is much more appealing.
Hmm... try to pick up a martial art? Go for dance class? (but I dont like social dancing), go CC course but those most likely meet middle age pple, cooking class - meet aunties, go SportsCounsel courses, most likely meet ladies trying to lose weight. This is tough.
I would rather save up a bit to buy both a Blender and an Oven so that I can make more drinks and even try baking cookies, making cakes and even enclairs. They seem simple enough.
Mokona!
Yep I have been wanting to record Mokona's "pu pu" for my sms tune. The current one is a shorter version of "Under the sea" from Kingdom Heart 1 soundtrack. But still its a bit long. Had the idea of searching for it from the internet. So finally after much proscrastination, I went to youtube and searched.
Man, I cant find a clip with the sound "pu pu" clearly inside. I did find 2 cute videos. I have the Magic Rayearth Soundtrack with 2 Mokono songs but its not purely the "Pu Pu" sound and that's why didnt set as tone.
Cute Talking Mokono Role-Playing, quite funny
Mokono Song - Teaches u how to draw one
Mokono Song - another but faster and sung by the 3 Magic Rayearth girls, really liked this song for many years. Cute clip
AND I discovered that many others like Mokona very much that they created all sorts of clips about it. Wow.
Man, I cant find a clip with the sound "pu pu" clearly inside. I did find 2 cute videos. I have the Magic Rayearth Soundtrack with 2 Mokono songs but its not purely the "Pu Pu" sound and that's why didnt set as tone.
Cute Talking Mokono Role-Playing, quite funny
Mokono Song - Teaches u how to draw one
Mokono Song - another but faster and sung by the 3 Magic Rayearth girls, really liked this song for many years. Cute clip
AND I discovered that many others like Mokona very much that they created all sorts of clips about it. Wow.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Bush, Ice-cream, Winners and Losers
Today I woke up quite early, though I slept around 4.30am cos I was watching that stupid dvd, Blood, which is one of the most sucky movies I have ever encountered. The acting sucks, plot, effects, action, even ending. It belongs with '20th century boy and Existence' in the same pedigree.
I was trying very hard to sleep more though, managed to doze a little on and off repeatedly until the sun shone and heat up the wall beside the bed. Got up and heard how loud the tv was on. My dad was listening to his vcds/dvds and it was very loud. So loud that even though I shut the door, I could hear.
Got up, washed face, brushed teeth and asked my sister, Yingel what she wanted to eat. She had a day off in-lieu of Deepavali and was at home. I saw she was watching and listening to headphones, no wonder she could 'stand' the loud volume. Indeed I might have to resort to that too.
Cos didnt want to sit in the living room infront of laptop with tv blasting my ears, we headed out to eat lunch together. Then we headed to Ginza cos it was another HOT, ClOUDLESS, blue sky day. Headed there to enjoy the air con and escape the heat a bit. Walked around, went to the Popular. Then headed back after.
Then within 30mins, I had to head out reluctantly to the driving school. Today is another FT practice but the weather was SO bloody hot, unlike the weather 2 weeks ago where it was sunny but with lots of cloud and even breeze. Wore my visor to shield my face from the sun and headed out. The previous session, on my 3rd practice, I passed 5 booklets, today I passed another 5 booklets but failed 1. Wed is my last practice before Evaluation on Thurs. Then next week or so is my FT test.
I headed to the swimming pool after that. My period was over and looking at my lifestyle and flab, I decided that the only way about it is to exercise. No shortcut. Was very glad when I headed over to the changing room and saw that the medium pool wasnt crowded, could see a few free lanes. As I walked to the changing rooms, I saw something that rooted me momentarily. Think brain stalled too.
An aunty, of those age who have a kid at least 7 years old type, was standing naked just outside the changing room, folding her clothes and stuff. She doesnt have much breasts, saw the unflattering tummy and thighs and THE BUSH! ARGH!!!! My eyes, they bleed... OMFG, just cos u bring a kid doesnt mean u behave like one and do ur changing outside the changing room! I was so shocked, I headed straight to the changing and changed, mumbling about how some pple have no shame, u showed ur bush to ur husband and ur doctor while giving birth, doesnt mean u have to show me... Would it be better if it was the cunt of a young girl? a woman with better figure? Signz, show me a dick instead? I dont want to see somethink like my own. Same repels. Shake my head and headed out to swim.
Dunno why, but this time around, while swimming a few laps, I felt tired. Strange indeed. And while I was on 6th lap, suddenly got more family with young kids coming in to play with water. I quickly finished up to 10 laps, which by then, very hard to do proper laps cos of the number of pple and kids playing in the water. Was quite tired by then and decided to end. Went to have a nice long cold shower, thankfully no more hairy bush.
I decided to call home to check if Yingel had gone out. She mentioned about heading to Orchard. She was out by the time I called and I made my way down to meet her and Geoky later for dinner. She was browsing in Borders and I just sat down and played PSP. When it was near 7pm, we headed to Chahaya for a cheap dinner. The curry chicken with rice is very good, except a bit salty. I ordered the Hotplate crabmeat rice, the wantoons, youtiao and ice lemon tea. Geoky joined us later. All in, $19.50, about $6.50 per person. Quite affordable for a full meal in Orchard area.
We walked on a bit in Far East. Saw those long, chunky pendeants and there was one selling a 4 inch electric guitar. It looks very nice but a bit too chunky for my taste. Quite expensive at $20. Nice but dunno about useability of it.
Then we headed to ION orchard to eat the ice-cream. Forgot the name, but starts with G. It serves 3 flavours in a cup for $5.90 I ordered Green tea, Vanilla Cake and Swiss Cheese. My sisters bought Watermelon, Walnut, Strawberry, the other Peanut, Chestnut and Caramel. Geoky was commenting on how we didnt exactly dress very nicely. Yin was alright, Geoky too. I was in my 3/4, blue T-shirt, sling bag with a swim bag slinging over my shoulders. Not that presentable but heck it. But inside the ice-cream place, I noticed we the 2nd group of customers who ordered a cup each. The rest were 2-3 sharing a cup. Well not that bad for us I see.
The verdict. Green tea is thick and very strong tea flavour, not sweet type, nice. The Swiss cheese is surprisingly light and very tasty. The vanilla cake SUCKED to the core. It tasted chemically and like a rum and raisin but very chemically. Guess that's what I get when I dont do a sample first before ordering. There was this lady infront of us who was sampling quite a number of flavours, so much so that we, who were behind her, decided not to sample but just order. Watermelon is nice, Strawberry really tastes like the strawberry jam, Peanut is very peanutty, Walnut and Chestnut are tasty and Caramel is a safe and reliable option.
Then after that we decided to head home by cab cos Geoky was tired. Didnt mind paying a bit even though I was 'jobless' cos its not that much higher if we share out the cost amongst 3 of us. Later the whole topic about us being 'Losers' cos we dont dress up came up and we were actually comparing the total worth of things in our repective bags in the event someone snatched it.
Geoky
Wallet $10, money $30, hp free but assumed $100, waterbottle foc, bag $16, umbrella $10 => $170
Yingel
Wallet $120, money $50, hp assumed $100, bag $30 =>$300
Me
Wallet money $150, hp $100, I-touch $450, PSP $250 (both i-touch and PSP are depreciated value) bag $10 =>$860
Geoky was commenting how the 'worst' dressed but has the most value inside the scruffy looking bag. I agree. For most who dress up, besides wanting to be presentable which is fine, but doesnt mean they can afford the 'high' life or just by dressing up alone, makes them 'winners' and those who dont are 'losers'. That's not really how things work in real life. I am sure other things eg ur confidence, ur abilities and even ur perspective and outlook affects u feeling like a winner or a loser. Definitely not just clothes alone or even just material possessions alone.
All three of us were not wearing expensive clothes, our tops being in less than $20. Dunno why this 'Loser and Winner' thing came about. I just walked around without regard to what I think, the person who looks and sees me is supposedly thinking. Dolling up and dressing takes time and effort which I didnt see the need to cos I was actually only intending to head out to the driving school and also for a swim. The heading to Orchard came as a spontaneous decision, dont see the need to head home to dress up. Something like that.
But its a nice spontaneous decision that I dont regret. Hope to have more of these days, less the Bushes, and more the fun, I guess.
I was trying very hard to sleep more though, managed to doze a little on and off repeatedly until the sun shone and heat up the wall beside the bed. Got up and heard how loud the tv was on. My dad was listening to his vcds/dvds and it was very loud. So loud that even though I shut the door, I could hear.
Got up, washed face, brushed teeth and asked my sister, Yingel what she wanted to eat. She had a day off in-lieu of Deepavali and was at home. I saw she was watching and listening to headphones, no wonder she could 'stand' the loud volume. Indeed I might have to resort to that too.
Cos didnt want to sit in the living room infront of laptop with tv blasting my ears, we headed out to eat lunch together. Then we headed to Ginza cos it was another HOT, ClOUDLESS, blue sky day. Headed there to enjoy the air con and escape the heat a bit. Walked around, went to the Popular. Then headed back after.
Then within 30mins, I had to head out reluctantly to the driving school. Today is another FT practice but the weather was SO bloody hot, unlike the weather 2 weeks ago where it was sunny but with lots of cloud and even breeze. Wore my visor to shield my face from the sun and headed out. The previous session, on my 3rd practice, I passed 5 booklets, today I passed another 5 booklets but failed 1. Wed is my last practice before Evaluation on Thurs. Then next week or so is my FT test.
I headed to the swimming pool after that. My period was over and looking at my lifestyle and flab, I decided that the only way about it is to exercise. No shortcut. Was very glad when I headed over to the changing room and saw that the medium pool wasnt crowded, could see a few free lanes. As I walked to the changing rooms, I saw something that rooted me momentarily. Think brain stalled too.
An aunty, of those age who have a kid at least 7 years old type, was standing naked just outside the changing room, folding her clothes and stuff. She doesnt have much breasts, saw the unflattering tummy and thighs and THE BUSH! ARGH!!!! My eyes, they bleed... OMFG, just cos u bring a kid doesnt mean u behave like one and do ur changing outside the changing room! I was so shocked, I headed straight to the changing and changed, mumbling about how some pple have no shame, u showed ur bush to ur husband and ur doctor while giving birth, doesnt mean u have to show me... Would it be better if it was the cunt of a young girl? a woman with better figure? Signz, show me a dick instead? I dont want to see somethink like my own. Same repels. Shake my head and headed out to swim.
Dunno why, but this time around, while swimming a few laps, I felt tired. Strange indeed. And while I was on 6th lap, suddenly got more family with young kids coming in to play with water. I quickly finished up to 10 laps, which by then, very hard to do proper laps cos of the number of pple and kids playing in the water. Was quite tired by then and decided to end. Went to have a nice long cold shower, thankfully no more hairy bush.
I decided to call home to check if Yingel had gone out. She mentioned about heading to Orchard. She was out by the time I called and I made my way down to meet her and Geoky later for dinner. She was browsing in Borders and I just sat down and played PSP. When it was near 7pm, we headed to Chahaya for a cheap dinner. The curry chicken with rice is very good, except a bit salty. I ordered the Hotplate crabmeat rice, the wantoons, youtiao and ice lemon tea. Geoky joined us later. All in, $19.50, about $6.50 per person. Quite affordable for a full meal in Orchard area.
We walked on a bit in Far East. Saw those long, chunky pendeants and there was one selling a 4 inch electric guitar. It looks very nice but a bit too chunky for my taste. Quite expensive at $20. Nice but dunno about useability of it.
Then we headed to ION orchard to eat the ice-cream. Forgot the name, but starts with G. It serves 3 flavours in a cup for $5.90 I ordered Green tea, Vanilla Cake and Swiss Cheese. My sisters bought Watermelon, Walnut, Strawberry, the other Peanut, Chestnut and Caramel. Geoky was commenting on how we didnt exactly dress very nicely. Yin was alright, Geoky too. I was in my 3/4, blue T-shirt, sling bag with a swim bag slinging over my shoulders. Not that presentable but heck it. But inside the ice-cream place, I noticed we the 2nd group of customers who ordered a cup each. The rest were 2-3 sharing a cup. Well not that bad for us I see.
The verdict. Green tea is thick and very strong tea flavour, not sweet type, nice. The Swiss cheese is surprisingly light and very tasty. The vanilla cake SUCKED to the core. It tasted chemically and like a rum and raisin but very chemically. Guess that's what I get when I dont do a sample first before ordering. There was this lady infront of us who was sampling quite a number of flavours, so much so that we, who were behind her, decided not to sample but just order. Watermelon is nice, Strawberry really tastes like the strawberry jam, Peanut is very peanutty, Walnut and Chestnut are tasty and Caramel is a safe and reliable option.
Then after that we decided to head home by cab cos Geoky was tired. Didnt mind paying a bit even though I was 'jobless' cos its not that much higher if we share out the cost amongst 3 of us. Later the whole topic about us being 'Losers' cos we dont dress up came up and we were actually comparing the total worth of things in our repective bags in the event someone snatched it.
Geoky
Wallet $10, money $30, hp free but assumed $100, waterbottle foc, bag $16, umbrella $10 => $170
Yingel
Wallet $120, money $50, hp assumed $100, bag $30 =>$300
Me
Wallet money $150, hp $100, I-touch $450, PSP $250 (both i-touch and PSP are depreciated value) bag $10 =>$860
Geoky was commenting how the 'worst' dressed but has the most value inside the scruffy looking bag. I agree. For most who dress up, besides wanting to be presentable which is fine, but doesnt mean they can afford the 'high' life or just by dressing up alone, makes them 'winners' and those who dont are 'losers'. That's not really how things work in real life. I am sure other things eg ur confidence, ur abilities and even ur perspective and outlook affects u feeling like a winner or a loser. Definitely not just clothes alone or even just material possessions alone.
All three of us were not wearing expensive clothes, our tops being in less than $20. Dunno why this 'Loser and Winner' thing came about. I just walked around without regard to what I think, the person who looks and sees me is supposedly thinking. Dolling up and dressing takes time and effort which I didnt see the need to cos I was actually only intending to head out to the driving school and also for a swim. The heading to Orchard came as a spontaneous decision, dont see the need to head home to dress up. Something like that.
But its a nice spontaneous decision that I dont regret. Hope to have more of these days, less the Bushes, and more the fun, I guess.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Strange...
It is ironic.
When I was in the midst of working still, I felt life is kinda aimless. Now when I am not working, life is still kinda aimless. Even when I am doing so many things, I still have this nagging feeling that life is still aimless.
You dont choose to be 'alive' and u cant choose when it ends. You dont choose ur family, you cant choose ur looks, you cant choose ur country. U just exists and then life continues as it has always does.
Yes there are other choices to make it life, beyond the ones that u cant choose above. You can choose to be proactive, to be passive, to make urself happy, to be sad, to be extroverted, to be introverted, to blame everyone all around, to blame urself, to embrace ur dreams, to live in fears of treading outside the beaten path, to enjoy the process, to dread everyday, to live past your fears, to live trapped inside ... and so many more.
I am progressing fairly good in terms of my other pursuits. My guitar is progressing to 3rd stage, can play way better than before I started. My driving is proceeding nicely. Passed my Basic theory, got my PDL, at 3rd practice of Final Theory today, I passed 5 practice booklets at a shot. Have 2 more practice then going for Evaluation and then shortly in November, going for FT test and starting practical sessions. My jap is alright, I managed to passed my Level 6 test I think and for JLPT prep class, I managed to scrape through for the written part. Need to be more focused for listening.
On the stock market, I am turning into a slightly longer term cos I realized that if I sold those that I have on hand, just to 'feel' secure that I generated an income eg $1k for say month of Oct cos I am uneasy about this lack of income part, then I would miss out on much greater gains IF the prices go up further. So instead of making $300 per share, I might have sold it off at less than $100 gains per share. That is not good in terms of absolute amount. So mulitiply out, instead of making $3k, earn only $1k. So after 1 sale, I told myself, no more. Going to practice a different kind of patience now. One that is more long-term. Still havent hit $25k target mark, cos didnt make much sale in the 2 months that I have been unemployed. Made 2 sale but the absolute amount made does not replace 2 months income. So previously a bit anxious but I have to tell myself to go for a way bigger gain by holding on for more gains. Its not as though I need the money now, its just a very Mental security thingy I guess. That is something many investors will be familiar and have to overcome at times.
Family problems side, well mom has ran off to her hometown for the 3rd time into the 3rd month since things started. It will become another frequent thing. Ties are strained, and I cant help sighing at the state of things. But its their own lives, I cant dictate much. Just hope for the best.
At times I ask myself, whether I should be starting to look for a job now. But really I have NO idea of what I want to do, where should I head to. Was worried that getting a job would clash with my schedule of the pursuits esp driving and JLPT. Hmm if delay a bit more, it would soon hit 3 mths, 4mths, even 1/2 year mark? That wouldnt be good too... Was thinking of trying to apply for tuition centres, but that is only a thought thus far. Havent acted upon it yet to check out the working hours. Am I being too ambitious, doing so much and still thinking of a job at the same time, or am I being too lax? Should I pace myself a bit more, I dont know if I am ready for things yet or should I clear some a bit more to get settled.... Hmm... guess I need to think through some of these more deeply. Wouldnt want to end up as a permanently unemployed unless my shares can generate that BIG of an income. I have a 6 mths buffer from my stock gains but I dont wish to prolong it too much unnecessarily... Signz but with things at home and even being rather busy doing all the courses, I find I dont think through these as much. Maybe I am not ready yet. Hope to find 'the drive' eventually
When I was in the midst of working still, I felt life is kinda aimless. Now when I am not working, life is still kinda aimless. Even when I am doing so many things, I still have this nagging feeling that life is still aimless.
You dont choose to be 'alive' and u cant choose when it ends. You dont choose ur family, you cant choose ur looks, you cant choose ur country. U just exists and then life continues as it has always does.
Yes there are other choices to make it life, beyond the ones that u cant choose above. You can choose to be proactive, to be passive, to make urself happy, to be sad, to be extroverted, to be introverted, to blame everyone all around, to blame urself, to embrace ur dreams, to live in fears of treading outside the beaten path, to enjoy the process, to dread everyday, to live past your fears, to live trapped inside ... and so many more.
I am progressing fairly good in terms of my other pursuits. My guitar is progressing to 3rd stage, can play way better than before I started. My driving is proceeding nicely. Passed my Basic theory, got my PDL, at 3rd practice of Final Theory today, I passed 5 practice booklets at a shot. Have 2 more practice then going for Evaluation and then shortly in November, going for FT test and starting practical sessions. My jap is alright, I managed to passed my Level 6 test I think and for JLPT prep class, I managed to scrape through for the written part. Need to be more focused for listening.
On the stock market, I am turning into a slightly longer term cos I realized that if I sold those that I have on hand, just to 'feel' secure that I generated an income eg $1k for say month of Oct cos I am uneasy about this lack of income part, then I would miss out on much greater gains IF the prices go up further. So instead of making $300 per share, I might have sold it off at less than $100 gains per share. That is not good in terms of absolute amount. So mulitiply out, instead of making $3k, earn only $1k. So after 1 sale, I told myself, no more. Going to practice a different kind of patience now. One that is more long-term. Still havent hit $25k target mark, cos didnt make much sale in the 2 months that I have been unemployed. Made 2 sale but the absolute amount made does not replace 2 months income. So previously a bit anxious but I have to tell myself to go for a way bigger gain by holding on for more gains. Its not as though I need the money now, its just a very Mental security thingy I guess. That is something many investors will be familiar and have to overcome at times.
Family problems side, well mom has ran off to her hometown for the 3rd time into the 3rd month since things started. It will become another frequent thing. Ties are strained, and I cant help sighing at the state of things. But its their own lives, I cant dictate much. Just hope for the best.
At times I ask myself, whether I should be starting to look for a job now. But really I have NO idea of what I want to do, where should I head to. Was worried that getting a job would clash with my schedule of the pursuits esp driving and JLPT. Hmm if delay a bit more, it would soon hit 3 mths, 4mths, even 1/2 year mark? That wouldnt be good too... Was thinking of trying to apply for tuition centres, but that is only a thought thus far. Havent acted upon it yet to check out the working hours. Am I being too ambitious, doing so much and still thinking of a job at the same time, or am I being too lax? Should I pace myself a bit more, I dont know if I am ready for things yet or should I clear some a bit more to get settled.... Hmm... guess I need to think through some of these more deeply. Wouldnt want to end up as a permanently unemployed unless my shares can generate that BIG of an income. I have a 6 mths buffer from my stock gains but I dont wish to prolong it too much unnecessarily... Signz but with things at home and even being rather busy doing all the courses, I find I dont think through these as much. Maybe I am not ready yet. Hope to find 'the drive' eventually
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
MMORPGs and the 'Human' factor
*brusbes away the dust and cobsweb accumluated*
Ya its been a while since I've blogged, which is rather unusual cos I try to do it whenever there's things happening, be it good especially and when I feel bad.
The whole game thingy suddenly took up ALOT of my time and energy, when I was suddenly made the Guild leader after the previous one decided to drop out cos of Real-Life constraints. The problem is that there was this all-out war bet us and a huge guild with its sister guilds. Before this leadership thingy, I was putting more time into this for >2 weeks helping out the smaller members. Then the sudden coming into 'leadership' at a time like these, plus losing 4-5 very strong members, meant a tough job of holding up against the onslaught.
At first, after rallying them, thinking of some measures that can be taken to strengthened everyone, things held up for more than 2 weeks. I was doing yahoo messanger conferences doing diplomacy to settle relations, online to monitor war reports to reinforce members, talking to members in member chats, reading and replying the tonnes of mail I suddenly got. Though largely the actives were more tired from extra hrs and effort, we actually held up. A big group of inactives didnt help at all in terms of bolstering defenses. It was a drain on the active larger players who were just 5 or so. It was slowly draining us and if it persisted even longer, most would give up the game.
But then another completely different guild atked and things started unravelling. Diplomancy attempts met with silence from the leaders of those guilds. Hence after being pretty much burnt-out myself. I initiated some diplomacy and got responses, where I tried to settle the transistion of letting actives join other alliances. Though there were back-stabbing, cohersion and even alot of deal-cutting, some got through. And soon the actives were starting to leave. I didnt monitor how they ended up as, did they manage to go into the other guild or fell out unprotected? I couldnt know for all. But they will have to continue their journey on their own. They would have to make that decision whether to cotinue playing or stoppping.
I hung on a bit to aid this transition esp last sunday til now. I was feeling the effects of many hours online, late nights and even cant sleep well. At this point, most have left at this point. I am left with a few reluctant, undecided and alot of silence from others that can be presumed dead.
Just yesterday finally ensured that my cities were taken by members who are going to put to good use. Left with a little bit more of things to do before I execute my end in 'a blaze of glory' and thus permanently shut and delete all links to this game.
As a game it was actually pretty alright, as in I can fit it into my schedule pretty okay until this war broke out so I put in a bit of extra time and then when I became leader, even more hours cos of time zone difference. Multi-tasking on so many aspects that in other alliances are done by an entire team of plaers. Yet this problem arose cos 4-5 stong ones left around the same period.
Yes it is a game. That part I know, yet cos there are 'people' u know through these few months of playing that I would like to help out. Also wanna 'return' the favour. And others also. Hence I hung on and came up with what I could. Now is into the last bits.
Tab was very surprised when i told her about the game stuff. Her response was like "You just need to shut it for 5 days, let all ur troops die and viola, or throw that leadership to others since u mentioned u are stressed by it" Hmm this is coming from a non-gamer with valid points. I admit. Yet in the world of MMORPG where real people interact, I tell u, things are WAY beyond just doing ur own thing. So call 'virtual' bonds and friendship are forged. Look no further to WOW and the millions of players who are online. They pay monthly subscription to play, log in after their work and meals, sacrifice sleep. Thinking its a just a game that one can walk away is difficult. The ease of 'walking away' from a game becomes harder when,
1) U put in money/time/effort.
2) U enjoy the company of the people in ur guild
3) Ease of accessibility to internet.
Even Social networking pages like Facebook has certain features of this involved. And also we are looking at addiction through the above factors. There are pple spending hrs on Facebook, that can match MMORPGs too.
So when it takes a toll on you, you have to decide how to manage it so that u can continue, if not, when and how to stop completely. My solution though not as 'fast' as Tab's suggested way, would take me slightly longer, think at most 2 days more at this point, to stop and then no more MMORPG or games that have to interact with REAL players to play the game. Things become too complex when REAL people are involved in Virtual online world where words may not count as much, backstabbing, undermining, deal cutting are the things that takes a toll, not the actual game itself. It evolves to become more than a game due to the HUMAN factor hence MMORPG which is the exact appeal of one. The 'human' factor.
Games like RPG instead would serve me better. I should go back to PSP and PS instead. But I am managing so far so no worries. Then can focus on my driving, guitar, japanese. I wouldnt say I have completely neglected them. In fact I try to make time for all. Its just when the leadership role plonked on me, my jap homework, I didnt do as much, my guitar I practiced a bit lesser but made up for it later on when I pulled myself away from the screen resolutely last Sat and Sunday.
To me, now I am not as constraint to the screen as before. In fact, I am back to just logging in twice a day, late morning or afternoon, then evening. I am no longer going into yahoo messanger cos my plans of dispersing those is almost completed. Then lsstly is the End Game.
And u will be surprised as a non-gamer to know that actually people go for Virtual things more than real-life things. Cos there is a quality abt being virtual. It is a refuge to life's problems and stuff for some, a place of 'friendship' for some esp when u meet like-minded people, a place to let loose your 'alter-ego' and become powerful for some. That would require a whole exploration into this whole MMORPG thingy, think there is already some literature on this. Hence its really not as simple as walking away or dropping. Depends on ur lvl of commitment to it, really.
Guess my alter-ego is an honourable and responsible leader when I am suddenly thrusted into leadership. Cos that's mostly how I play my games. Dependable and helpful, and usually peace-loving and cautious AND I dont do leadership... my strengths are my weaknesses too. Think I do know myself too well.
Oh well, once a little bit more things are settled.... Its on to Plan EndGame.
Ya its been a while since I've blogged, which is rather unusual cos I try to do it whenever there's things happening, be it good especially and when I feel bad.
The whole game thingy suddenly took up ALOT of my time and energy, when I was suddenly made the Guild leader after the previous one decided to drop out cos of Real-Life constraints. The problem is that there was this all-out war bet us and a huge guild with its sister guilds. Before this leadership thingy, I was putting more time into this for >2 weeks helping out the smaller members. Then the sudden coming into 'leadership' at a time like these, plus losing 4-5 very strong members, meant a tough job of holding up against the onslaught.
At first, after rallying them, thinking of some measures that can be taken to strengthened everyone, things held up for more than 2 weeks. I was doing yahoo messanger conferences doing diplomacy to settle relations, online to monitor war reports to reinforce members, talking to members in member chats, reading and replying the tonnes of mail I suddenly got. Though largely the actives were more tired from extra hrs and effort, we actually held up. A big group of inactives didnt help at all in terms of bolstering defenses. It was a drain on the active larger players who were just 5 or so. It was slowly draining us and if it persisted even longer, most would give up the game.
But then another completely different guild atked and things started unravelling. Diplomancy attempts met with silence from the leaders of those guilds. Hence after being pretty much burnt-out myself. I initiated some diplomacy and got responses, where I tried to settle the transistion of letting actives join other alliances. Though there were back-stabbing, cohersion and even alot of deal-cutting, some got through. And soon the actives were starting to leave. I didnt monitor how they ended up as, did they manage to go into the other guild or fell out unprotected? I couldnt know for all. But they will have to continue their journey on their own. They would have to make that decision whether to cotinue playing or stoppping.
I hung on a bit to aid this transition esp last sunday til now. I was feeling the effects of many hours online, late nights and even cant sleep well. At this point, most have left at this point. I am left with a few reluctant, undecided and alot of silence from others that can be presumed dead.
Just yesterday finally ensured that my cities were taken by members who are going to put to good use. Left with a little bit more of things to do before I execute my end in 'a blaze of glory' and thus permanently shut and delete all links to this game.
As a game it was actually pretty alright, as in I can fit it into my schedule pretty okay until this war broke out so I put in a bit of extra time and then when I became leader, even more hours cos of time zone difference. Multi-tasking on so many aspects that in other alliances are done by an entire team of plaers. Yet this problem arose cos 4-5 stong ones left around the same period.
Yes it is a game. That part I know, yet cos there are 'people' u know through these few months of playing that I would like to help out. Also wanna 'return' the favour. And others also. Hence I hung on and came up with what I could. Now is into the last bits.
Tab was very surprised when i told her about the game stuff. Her response was like "You just need to shut it for 5 days, let all ur troops die and viola, or throw that leadership to others since u mentioned u are stressed by it" Hmm this is coming from a non-gamer with valid points. I admit. Yet in the world of MMORPG where real people interact, I tell u, things are WAY beyond just doing ur own thing. So call 'virtual' bonds and friendship are forged. Look no further to WOW and the millions of players who are online. They pay monthly subscription to play, log in after their work and meals, sacrifice sleep. Thinking its a just a game that one can walk away is difficult. The ease of 'walking away' from a game becomes harder when,
1) U put in money/time/effort.
2) U enjoy the company of the people in ur guild
3) Ease of accessibility to internet.
Even Social networking pages like Facebook has certain features of this involved. And also we are looking at addiction through the above factors. There are pple spending hrs on Facebook, that can match MMORPGs too.
So when it takes a toll on you, you have to decide how to manage it so that u can continue, if not, when and how to stop completely. My solution though not as 'fast' as Tab's suggested way, would take me slightly longer, think at most 2 days more at this point, to stop and then no more MMORPG or games that have to interact with REAL players to play the game. Things become too complex when REAL people are involved in Virtual online world where words may not count as much, backstabbing, undermining, deal cutting are the things that takes a toll, not the actual game itself. It evolves to become more than a game due to the HUMAN factor hence MMORPG which is the exact appeal of one. The 'human' factor.
Games like RPG instead would serve me better. I should go back to PSP and PS instead. But I am managing so far so no worries. Then can focus on my driving, guitar, japanese. I wouldnt say I have completely neglected them. In fact I try to make time for all. Its just when the leadership role plonked on me, my jap homework, I didnt do as much, my guitar I practiced a bit lesser but made up for it later on when I pulled myself away from the screen resolutely last Sat and Sunday.
To me, now I am not as constraint to the screen as before. In fact, I am back to just logging in twice a day, late morning or afternoon, then evening. I am no longer going into yahoo messanger cos my plans of dispersing those is almost completed. Then lsstly is the End Game.
And u will be surprised as a non-gamer to know that actually people go for Virtual things more than real-life things. Cos there is a quality abt being virtual. It is a refuge to life's problems and stuff for some, a place of 'friendship' for some esp when u meet like-minded people, a place to let loose your 'alter-ego' and become powerful for some. That would require a whole exploration into this whole MMORPG thingy, think there is already some literature on this. Hence its really not as simple as walking away or dropping. Depends on ur lvl of commitment to it, really.
Guess my alter-ego is an honourable and responsible leader when I am suddenly thrusted into leadership. Cos that's mostly how I play my games. Dependable and helpful, and usually peace-loving and cautious AND I dont do leadership... my strengths are my weaknesses too. Think I do know myself too well.
Oh well, once a little bit more things are settled.... Its on to Plan EndGame.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Huge SIGH....
The trip back to my bro's place was partly cos he asked whether I was alright over the game Evony, that I should go down to 'chill' a bit. Guess he was reading my blog and stuff.
So when my guitar class got postponed and that I didnt pre-arranged any driving theory practice, having passed my Basic evaluation, I was free from Thurs to Monday, after which my schedule resumes, with Jap - Tue, Wed, Driving maybe Mon and/or Thurs, Guitar - Fri. Taking his advise, I hopped down alone taking the KMT train. He fetched me from the train station. It is ill-advised to travel in Malaysia without a car cos the sun is ultra-hot, plus huge long distances and lack of familarity.
Basically I had brought stuff to read, jap homework to do, stock book to read and driving theory books. Guess what I did instead? Played Evony, looked a bit through facebook, then watching Anime: Code Geauzz (have to doulbe check spelling). The irony thing is I am trying to listen to the jap, but reading the subtitles in Mandarin and yet translating and understanding the whole story in my mind to English... kinda complicated.
Our meals eaten outside include chicken rice, wonton mee, roti prata for lunch and Zhi Char for dinner and Nasi Goreng USA. I ate almost all the things I wanted to eat except Satay which I just ate with Geoky. Then drinking Honey Ice Tea in cans, eating potato chips while watching anime. Sounds like a holiday of sort, but kinda too Otaku. I did hop down to the tuition centra once, observed a very very little bit. Next round, I will endeavour to sit through an entire lesson instead of half-way, near-end.
Mainly uneventful which is fine with me. Though I did sleep very late also watching anime. Finished Season 1 and was 3/4 through Season 2... hope to find online and continue.
Did shop at the 'Orchard Road' of segamat.... and tried very hard to spend my RM, again which I spent the most if not solely on grocery and snacks and also lunch and dinner. Ran a couple of errands, went to bank and went to temple to pray. Everytime I go to the temple, I am not praying for myself. I pray that family's health will be good, for those working let things be smooth, let the current situation dissolve peacefully somehow, then finally i hope to have some guidance about my next job, at times I am not even asking about my job. Just want things back to somewhat normal but what was 'normal' previously, was it just a facade?... *confused* can only hope for divine intervention or just hope.
Came back around 4.30pm from the 11.55am train. It was quite punctual and surprisingly faster to return than to go in. Arrived around 3.30pm plus but I didnt want to take the cab. Decided to take public transport from the Woodlands Checkpoint. Took a bus to the Woodland MRT, hopped on Mrt all the way down, 9 stations to Clementi, took a feeder bus home. Its actually convenient except IF you are carrying tonnes of stuff which my mom has a tendency to do. I only had 2 bags. One is my blue bag with my books and electronic and valuables. The other is my BIG laptop bagpack which I put in clothes, wires for recharging and toiletries. That's all. But on my way back, I had to squeeze stuff in that bag cos my mom wanted to bring some stuff back which I just squeezed in cos its very hard to travel with more than 2 bags to handle esp going up and down train. Cant imagine 4-5 bags that she does with... no wonder why I often end up as the one helping to carry... but nevermind about that, some are old habits formed over years.
Overall it was a good short trip despite my brother having to focus on his own career and relationship but at least we still eat meals together, got talk about the current family situation, he hear me out about my frustrations and worries, I hear him out about his. Try to advise each other a bit, trying to think of solutions and means but we are NOT the main parties involved... *sigh*
_______________________________________________________
Came home 4.30pm, it was empty. Parents had gone home to attend a relative's funeral. Then I sms Geoky to check. We had satay dinner where she told me about her amusing yet expensive hair cut and colour.
Shortly after we reached home, call from mom. I was later filled about what had transpired in the short time I wasnt around.
*heaves a HUGE sigh* My feeling is SHIT will hit the fan soon or eventually. And I dont want to be around to have to help clean it. I think I was facing some sort of burnout also when my mom first time just ran off and I was doing most of the chores almost daily. Then when it happened a second time, I chose partly not to do much chores instead. I didnt cook cos i was busier, having lessons almost mon to fri. Also nobody around to eat dinner. Imagine if I cook for 4 pple but only 2 pple end up eating. Its kinda sad for the person who cooks, expecting 4 pple to eat, cos it takes time and effort to cook dishes. Instead the 2nd time, on weekdays, as I was heading out almost every evening, I packed lunch for myself and dad daily. The rest had to settle their own dinner. Helped to do what I can instead of stressing myself over the amount of chores to do. Some I somewhat refuse to do, eg laundry. Each did their own and I did the common one.
Signz... whatever happened to family ties and bonds? Is it so easy to treat each other as strangers? Some I dont even recognize anymore. Is this how ties end? I am also guilty of this, hardly speaking to my dad and only speak a bit with mom. I am really refraining from opening my mouth, cos I might regret what I say, be it intentional or unintentional or with all the pent-up frustration, I dont know what I will say. So I chose to clamp up, remain silent about the frustrations, worries. At times, I felt like telling each one off and then just washing my hands entirely. But cos its family hence kept refraining and clamping up. The short stay helped a bit but seriously how long more can this go on? *heaves HUGE sigh*
So when my guitar class got postponed and that I didnt pre-arranged any driving theory practice, having passed my Basic evaluation, I was free from Thurs to Monday, after which my schedule resumes, with Jap - Tue, Wed, Driving maybe Mon and/or Thurs, Guitar - Fri. Taking his advise, I hopped down alone taking the KMT train. He fetched me from the train station. It is ill-advised to travel in Malaysia without a car cos the sun is ultra-hot, plus huge long distances and lack of familarity.
Basically I had brought stuff to read, jap homework to do, stock book to read and driving theory books. Guess what I did instead? Played Evony, looked a bit through facebook, then watching Anime: Code Geauzz (have to doulbe check spelling). The irony thing is I am trying to listen to the jap, but reading the subtitles in Mandarin and yet translating and understanding the whole story in my mind to English... kinda complicated.
Our meals eaten outside include chicken rice, wonton mee, roti prata for lunch and Zhi Char for dinner and Nasi Goreng USA. I ate almost all the things I wanted to eat except Satay which I just ate with Geoky. Then drinking Honey Ice Tea in cans, eating potato chips while watching anime. Sounds like a holiday of sort, but kinda too Otaku. I did hop down to the tuition centra once, observed a very very little bit. Next round, I will endeavour to sit through an entire lesson instead of half-way, near-end.
Mainly uneventful which is fine with me. Though I did sleep very late also watching anime. Finished Season 1 and was 3/4 through Season 2... hope to find online and continue.
Did shop at the 'Orchard Road' of segamat.... and tried very hard to spend my RM, again which I spent the most if not solely on grocery and snacks and also lunch and dinner. Ran a couple of errands, went to bank and went to temple to pray. Everytime I go to the temple, I am not praying for myself. I pray that family's health will be good, for those working let things be smooth, let the current situation dissolve peacefully somehow, then finally i hope to have some guidance about my next job, at times I am not even asking about my job. Just want things back to somewhat normal but what was 'normal' previously, was it just a facade?... *confused* can only hope for divine intervention or just hope.
Came back around 4.30pm from the 11.55am train. It was quite punctual and surprisingly faster to return than to go in. Arrived around 3.30pm plus but I didnt want to take the cab. Decided to take public transport from the Woodlands Checkpoint. Took a bus to the Woodland MRT, hopped on Mrt all the way down, 9 stations to Clementi, took a feeder bus home. Its actually convenient except IF you are carrying tonnes of stuff which my mom has a tendency to do. I only had 2 bags. One is my blue bag with my books and electronic and valuables. The other is my BIG laptop bagpack which I put in clothes, wires for recharging and toiletries. That's all. But on my way back, I had to squeeze stuff in that bag cos my mom wanted to bring some stuff back which I just squeezed in cos its very hard to travel with more than 2 bags to handle esp going up and down train. Cant imagine 4-5 bags that she does with... no wonder why I often end up as the one helping to carry... but nevermind about that, some are old habits formed over years.
Overall it was a good short trip despite my brother having to focus on his own career and relationship but at least we still eat meals together, got talk about the current family situation, he hear me out about my frustrations and worries, I hear him out about his. Try to advise each other a bit, trying to think of solutions and means but we are NOT the main parties involved... *sigh*
_______________________________________________________
Came home 4.30pm, it was empty. Parents had gone home to attend a relative's funeral. Then I sms Geoky to check. We had satay dinner where she told me about her amusing yet expensive hair cut and colour.
Shortly after we reached home, call from mom. I was later filled about what had transpired in the short time I wasnt around.
*heaves a HUGE sigh* My feeling is SHIT will hit the fan soon or eventually. And I dont want to be around to have to help clean it. I think I was facing some sort of burnout also when my mom first time just ran off and I was doing most of the chores almost daily. Then when it happened a second time, I chose partly not to do much chores instead. I didnt cook cos i was busier, having lessons almost mon to fri. Also nobody around to eat dinner. Imagine if I cook for 4 pple but only 2 pple end up eating. Its kinda sad for the person who cooks, expecting 4 pple to eat, cos it takes time and effort to cook dishes. Instead the 2nd time, on weekdays, as I was heading out almost every evening, I packed lunch for myself and dad daily. The rest had to settle their own dinner. Helped to do what I can instead of stressing myself over the amount of chores to do. Some I somewhat refuse to do, eg laundry. Each did their own and I did the common one.
Signz... whatever happened to family ties and bonds? Is it so easy to treat each other as strangers? Some I dont even recognize anymore. Is this how ties end? I am also guilty of this, hardly speaking to my dad and only speak a bit with mom. I am really refraining from opening my mouth, cos I might regret what I say, be it intentional or unintentional or with all the pent-up frustration, I dont know what I will say. So I chose to clamp up, remain silent about the frustrations, worries. At times, I felt like telling each one off and then just washing my hands entirely. But cos its family hence kept refraining and clamping up. The short stay helped a bit but seriously how long more can this go on? *heaves HUGE sigh*
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