Limits & Apathy

This will be a RANTING post, pls ignore.

I find since early this week, I am reaching my limits. I am reaching the point where apathy is setting in. Its my family for god's sake but I am reaching the point where I feel like staying away from home.

First up, I am sick of being the go-between. I hate to have to be the one to ask my Mom whether she want to go to the hospital. Then today asked her whether she wants to go to the clinic cos she was sniffing away, coughing a bit only to be brushed off. HEY! If you dont want to, then be it, Fuck it!

Second off, I am sick of being taken for granted! Numerous examples. My mom and her numerous bags > 6 for just herself. Seeing that she has aged and is older, I carried most of the heavy stuff on top of my own. Lugged it up the train, down the train, pass immigration checkpoint. I remembered being irriated by having to carry so many heavy things ontop of my own 2 bags which were actually lighter. Next, today dad was going to drive to give our stuff to salvation army. She came up with 6 bags, some heavy. Then decided that she alone would go and load them in the car using the shopping trolley. I offered to help, she said no need. Then I reminded her can use the trolley and then I proceeded to load up the trolley with all the heavy stuff and brought it down (with lift), load into car. There are other incidents, carry out the heavy laundry cos the way she is putting the laundry is WRONG. You are supposed to put the light stuff infront and heavy ones behind. She has the tendency to do otherwise though I have corrected since I was in secondary. Others too... I find my patience wearing thin each time.

Third, I am sick of hearing the same stuff from my Dad! Fucking can memorise the lines cos he uses the exact same words each time. And everything also has an opinion about. And worst of all, its always the same opinion being repeated. Nowadays I find, whenever he gives me a ride to run errands, for my classes, to the train station, I find myself staring at the clear blue skies out of the car window, wishing I was anywhere but in the car.

I am frowning so much more, sighing long sighs frequently, looking at the blue skies too all the time. Apathy is creeping in, despite the blood ties. Its kinda sad.

I think I need time away during the day. Maybe 1-2 early afternoon, I should just come out and monitor stocks in some cafe with wireless sg instead. Man, I wanna go Bangkok, the school holiday's almost here? Or JB, get a massage and stuff *long sigh*