I was still wavering... hence decided to go to temple and qiu a qian.
I headed down with my sister and got the qian. I thought that it was telling me to stay on. Then go and see the sinseh, he told me the interpretation of the qian is to leave. He also told me about his perspective.
Listening to these, it helps clear up the mind and the confusion. I shouldnt link my decision with the pay. With the pay, its hard to come up with a clear perspective.
In the end he asked me, what is it I want? I want to leave. Since the heart is no longer there. Then leave.
"休息是为了走更长的路。”
Whatever it is, if I am at peace with my decision, able to bear the consequences. So be it.
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