Record-breaking over-calories of 232.4% of my daily limit aka almost 4000 calories... as of the 30th of Dec...
Man, no chance to off-set this anytime soon. Need very very disciplined eating for the next 3 weeks or a month to balance it off. My target is to clear this before my birthday. That'll give me about 3.5 weeks to clear it off diet-style, of course I'll up my exercise but I don't count the calories burnt from exercising.
Now is super-full from the wedding dinner and waiting for 2hrs to be up so that I can drink my Chinese meds cos I drank tea.
As expected, my weight increased by 1kg from all these festive and celebratory eating... So hard to lose a kilo yet so easy to gain one instead. That meant I now have 3.8kg more to lose.
My 6 belt buckles still okay but it feels a bit tight if I ate. Time to do those stomach exercises...
Next week I have to start going twice for Krav Maga. Think has to be Wed n either Thur or Fri. Then got to squeeze in dental and also hair-cut. Plus more sessions of working out at home.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, December 28, 2012
1 week into the hols
It's exactly one week into the holiday, what have I done?
- Tidied my table, almost done
- had a Christmas party
- watched a long movie I didn't enjoy
- went for 1 KM lesson
- went out once to town on my own
- did 3-4 conditioning workout at home
The rest, is sleep, stone, watch tv and looking at I-phone. Not very productive. But when u wake up at some insanely early time eg 6am, 7am during the holidays and then having to try to go back to sleep, catching up on sleep is kinda understandable. Plus many days were rainy, headed out on that sole sunny day.
Not that I didn't have things planned to do, but when you are on a restrictive diet, there goes the plans to eat some good food, which all falls into the categories I shouldn't be eating. Sigh...
Then to add oil to the fire, severe severe over-calories that meant I had to really really make tough choices at times to squeeze out some deficit. Like today, my Jap bento dinner plus a few stuff I ate at home, a moment of weakness, gave me over-calories instead of a deficit that I was on my way to after lunch... So kinda getting difficult cos with my reduced weight, my daily calories also dropped, which meant I had little to spare.
Hmm kinda hard on the diet part but can't give in, cos all the "never-minds" will add up. Just like one Christmas can be 169% over-calories. That translates to a couple of months of dieting deficit.!!! So really must be mindful.
The road onward is tough. Have to work on it, adapting and thinking of strategies. One would be to up the exercise workout much more, go KM more. Just try as best to stick to my diet n slowly build up the deficits from scratch... Also wean off certain food that is not good for my stomach on a permanent basis...
- Tidied my table, almost done
- had a Christmas party
- watched a long movie I didn't enjoy
- went for 1 KM lesson
- went out once to town on my own
- did 3-4 conditioning workout at home
The rest, is sleep, stone, watch tv and looking at I-phone. Not very productive. But when u wake up at some insanely early time eg 6am, 7am during the holidays and then having to try to go back to sleep, catching up on sleep is kinda understandable. Plus many days were rainy, headed out on that sole sunny day.
Not that I didn't have things planned to do, but when you are on a restrictive diet, there goes the plans to eat some good food, which all falls into the categories I shouldn't be eating. Sigh...
Then to add oil to the fire, severe severe over-calories that meant I had to really really make tough choices at times to squeeze out some deficit. Like today, my Jap bento dinner plus a few stuff I ate at home, a moment of weakness, gave me over-calories instead of a deficit that I was on my way to after lunch... So kinda getting difficult cos with my reduced weight, my daily calories also dropped, which meant I had little to spare.
Hmm kinda hard on the diet part but can't give in, cos all the "never-minds" will add up. Just like one Christmas can be 169% over-calories. That translates to a couple of months of dieting deficit.!!! So really must be mindful.
The road onward is tough. Have to work on it, adapting and thinking of strategies. One would be to up the exercise workout much more, go KM more. Just try as best to stick to my diet n slowly build up the deficits from scratch... Also wean off certain food that is not good for my stomach on a permanent basis...
Over-calories, continue Restrictions
Obviously after Christmas n my end-of-the-work-plus-world bingeing, when I went to see the sinseh for the follow-up, my condition wasn't as great as last week. But she could understand cos the Christmas and Year end celebration. I told her, I'll try to cut n keep to those restrictions as best as I could.
So since Christmas, I've been monitoring my food and making very very conscious decisions about what I eat. Really tough cos there's lots of nice food n I can't eat them. Also to do damage-control for the severe severe 169% over-calories for Christmas itself, on top of my 86% surplus then... A lot of reining-in to do, think if I can clear the surplus by the time my work starts, it'll be good.
I did do more exercise that few days before and just did one today. Nothing too taxing, just dips 5 sets, sit-ups and leg-lifts 2 sets each. Tomorrow is Krav Maga, that workout can help me jump-start the post-Christmas exercise in a quick n efficient manner.
The weather was nice and non-rainy, so I headed out. To Orchard via bus to buy the roasted wheat jap tea, good for my diet cos my taste buds are kinda sian of plain water. Plus it's healthy, has a strong taste so my taste buds are satisfied after drinking it, won't feel that it's plain and wanna drink a diet soft drink or even the A&W cream soda. The taste can quell the need to munch. Also it's not made from tea leaves but is entirely roasted wheat, so it's alright for me to drink it shortly after my Chinese meds.
Walked around Taka, Paragon and 313, mainly checking out the supermarkets, I came to realize that you can't find Reese's so easily... I wanted to get some Dark ones but ended up with a box of organic candy canes that was on steep discount. Ate 1, it was good, 60 calories only for an entire cane. Didn't get my 'Dark' side, so I headed home.
Today's breakfast was Bran biscuit with room-temp A&W cream soda. Lunch was Zcp with warm kopi-o, Dinner was Ban Mian. Calories is just balanced, no deficit achieved. Remembered to eat my Chinese meds timely. Hope can sustain until next week. One day at a time.
So since Christmas, I've been monitoring my food and making very very conscious decisions about what I eat. Really tough cos there's lots of nice food n I can't eat them. Also to do damage-control for the severe severe 169% over-calories for Christmas itself, on top of my 86% surplus then... A lot of reining-in to do, think if I can clear the surplus by the time my work starts, it'll be good.
I did do more exercise that few days before and just did one today. Nothing too taxing, just dips 5 sets, sit-ups and leg-lifts 2 sets each. Tomorrow is Krav Maga, that workout can help me jump-start the post-Christmas exercise in a quick n efficient manner.
The weather was nice and non-rainy, so I headed out. To Orchard via bus to buy the roasted wheat jap tea, good for my diet cos my taste buds are kinda sian of plain water. Plus it's healthy, has a strong taste so my taste buds are satisfied after drinking it, won't feel that it's plain and wanna drink a diet soft drink or even the A&W cream soda. The taste can quell the need to munch. Also it's not made from tea leaves but is entirely roasted wheat, so it's alright for me to drink it shortly after my Chinese meds.
Walked around Taka, Paragon and 313, mainly checking out the supermarkets, I came to realize that you can't find Reese's so easily... I wanted to get some Dark ones but ended up with a box of organic candy canes that was on steep discount. Ate 1, it was good, 60 calories only for an entire cane. Didn't get my 'Dark' side, so I headed home.
Today's breakfast was Bran biscuit with room-temp A&W cream soda. Lunch was Zcp with warm kopi-o, Dinner was Ban Mian. Calories is just balanced, no deficit achieved. Remembered to eat my Chinese meds timely. Hope can sustain until next week. One day at a time.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Hungry n driving me nuts at night
I think I shall refrain from eating porridge at night for dinner instead. For lunch is okay. At most eat again later on in the afternoon.
But at night, it's crazy... Imagine I ate at 6pm, by 8pm I am getting the munchies. Ate a few Jap snacks. Then by midnight, all I am thinking of is food cos the hunger pangs came on. I could literally feel my stomach growling n protesting in hunger.
Partly this is a sign of my improved condition, aka appetite is getting better, feel hungry.
It's a nuisance, cos here I am trying to sleep but all I am thinking of is how long since I've had a BK Whopper, how juicy it is, how nice to have a large bite into one and chew it slowly... Argh
Last night I had something similar and it was about KFC instead. The common denominator is I had porridge for dinner. I managed to sleep last night, woke up and forgot about it cos I didn't rush to the nearest KFC n stuff my face with fried chicken.
In fact I ate pretty healthy stuff today until after dinner when the munchies came. Just managed 100 calorie deficit cause of the snacking. Otherwise it would have been 220 calories deficit.
Just made myself drink a pack of milk to quell the hunger pangs, now stomach has something more food-like, felt better, all thoughts of that burger just disappeared... Don't feel like munching so bad. Now finally sleep can come.
Man this is tough, I'm not sure if this is brought on solely by the better appetitive, I believe the restricted diet is a cause too. Eating porridge is also not long-lasting in terms of keeping hunger at bay. Usually after a few hours, hungry and have I eat again.
So just in case I wake up tomorrow and forgot about this, this entry is to remind myself to only eat porridge for lunch. Dinner has to be rice at least.
But at night, it's crazy... Imagine I ate at 6pm, by 8pm I am getting the munchies. Ate a few Jap snacks. Then by midnight, all I am thinking of is food cos the hunger pangs came on. I could literally feel my stomach growling n protesting in hunger.
Partly this is a sign of my improved condition, aka appetite is getting better, feel hungry.
It's a nuisance, cos here I am trying to sleep but all I am thinking of is how long since I've had a BK Whopper, how juicy it is, how nice to have a large bite into one and chew it slowly... Argh
Last night I had something similar and it was about KFC instead. The common denominator is I had porridge for dinner. I managed to sleep last night, woke up and forgot about it cos I didn't rush to the nearest KFC n stuff my face with fried chicken.
In fact I ate pretty healthy stuff today until after dinner when the munchies came. Just managed 100 calorie deficit cause of the snacking. Otherwise it would have been 220 calories deficit.
Just made myself drink a pack of milk to quell the hunger pangs, now stomach has something more food-like, felt better, all thoughts of that burger just disappeared... Don't feel like munching so bad. Now finally sleep can come.
Man this is tough, I'm not sure if this is brought on solely by the better appetitive, I believe the restricted diet is a cause too. Eating porridge is also not long-lasting in terms of keeping hunger at bay. Usually after a few hours, hungry and have I eat again.
So just in case I wake up tomorrow and forgot about this, this entry is to remind myself to only eat porridge for lunch. Dinner has to be rice at least.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Last few days of 闭关节制
Hmm as of last night, I have over-calories of 108%, with Christmas just round the corner, plus not exactly following my sinseh's instructions eg ate some spicy, raw food, I have just 2 more days to make a difference.
It meant yesterday, I stayed home, ate porridge n plainer zcp. Did a conditioning workout. So managed a deficit of 20% but with still another 108%, just 2 days more, plus munchies, I'll count myself lucky if I could do a 12% deficit. Will try to do another 2 workout today n tomorrow.
Today I didn't start off well. Ate mee siam which is spicy, a no-no. Lunch was Lor Bee Hoon, large cos my dad went out for a 'walk' and dabao-ed a bunch of food.
I just cooked a small pot of porridge with the intention to eat with a can of 菜心, hope my mouth won't protest and start looking for stuff. The rainy, dull weather isn't helping. So gloomy until one might eat out of boredom. Trying to resist.
Haven't done my workout yet, dozing off out of boredom in between meals and I munched some rice cracker and dried vegetables in between, so kinda hard when I stick to the minimum of exercise after at least 2hrs after food. Drinking tea also meant I have to do a 2hr after before I drink the Chinese medicine, which is something I have to keep reminding myself to do.
Plans wise, nothing else planned. I was so tired yesterday, dozed on and off after meals. Looked at myself in the mirror, looked quite pale. Today looked better. Think my belt cannot hit 7 holes with the amount of binge-eating especially over the last few days. Still at 6 holes, phew. Will aim to work it off by the end of Dec, especially after Christmas.
I am about to make the commitment to put myself down for 6 months of Krav Maga with the routine of going at least 2 times per week and even reach 3 times if I could manage. Man, the muscle-aches would be unimaginable for the first few times until the body gets used to that. Luckily I am on holidays. One more lesson before I commit to that. Well then I can reduce my own conditioning n KB workout at home to just once a week.
Nothing much else on the horizon, have to read some books, practice the guitar, look at stocks, tidy my table and room, besides the usual of exercising, going out, watch some movies, try baking cinnamon rolls, and eat some stuff. But those can wait until at least after Christmas. Need to rest up. At least my New Year Resolutions are done.
It meant yesterday, I stayed home, ate porridge n plainer zcp. Did a conditioning workout. So managed a deficit of 20% but with still another 108%, just 2 days more, plus munchies, I'll count myself lucky if I could do a 12% deficit. Will try to do another 2 workout today n tomorrow.
Today I didn't start off well. Ate mee siam which is spicy, a no-no. Lunch was Lor Bee Hoon, large cos my dad went out for a 'walk' and dabao-ed a bunch of food.
I just cooked a small pot of porridge with the intention to eat with a can of 菜心, hope my mouth won't protest and start looking for stuff. The rainy, dull weather isn't helping. So gloomy until one might eat out of boredom. Trying to resist.
Haven't done my workout yet, dozing off out of boredom in between meals and I munched some rice cracker and dried vegetables in between, so kinda hard when I stick to the minimum of exercise after at least 2hrs after food. Drinking tea also meant I have to do a 2hr after before I drink the Chinese medicine, which is something I have to keep reminding myself to do.
Plans wise, nothing else planned. I was so tired yesterday, dozed on and off after meals. Looked at myself in the mirror, looked quite pale. Today looked better. Think my belt cannot hit 7 holes with the amount of binge-eating especially over the last few days. Still at 6 holes, phew. Will aim to work it off by the end of Dec, especially after Christmas.
I am about to make the commitment to put myself down for 6 months of Krav Maga with the routine of going at least 2 times per week and even reach 3 times if I could manage. Man, the muscle-aches would be unimaginable for the first few times until the body gets used to that. Luckily I am on holidays. One more lesson before I commit to that. Well then I can reduce my own conditioning n KB workout at home to just once a week.
Nothing much else on the horizon, have to read some books, practice the guitar, look at stocks, tidy my table and room, besides the usual of exercising, going out, watch some movies, try baking cinnamon rolls, and eat some stuff. But those can wait until at least after Christmas. Need to rest up. At least my New Year Resolutions are done.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Diet restrictions continues and Surprising revelations
First off, my cravings are going through the roof this week. I have been eating Fried chicken cutlet, fries, bee hoon goreng, Astons n some ice tea... on some days this week.
Ironical my weekly follow-up yesterday, my sinseh said my condition has improved the greatest of all the times I had seen her. But that meant I had to keep up with this no 酸，甜，辣，生，冷，寒，硬 plus no milk, banana n most fruits... Until my condition had permanently recovered!!!!
I dunno when that will be, it's not in the near horizon but man, just 2 weeks n cravings are going wild. Imagine doing this for months... a year *OMFG*
The raving cravings are not helping me diet-wise. Imagine going severely over-calories a few times and more often meant I would put on weight cos my calories don't balance out from eating which is going hay-wire.
Trying to make back some extra from extra exercise. Going to do more than my 3 times (1 Krav, 2 conditioning) Very slim hope of balancing my severe surplus before Christmas.
_________________
Had a dinner with colleagues, it's the one for the level, for the end of the term. Because I have been skipping a few, I decided to go for this one after knowing where we r going to. It's a restaurant I've been before, and I don't drink so usually I pay $30. Fair enough.
So I lugged my guitar and my foodstuff from workplace home for the coming holidays. Bathed and actually dozed off in a deep sleep. I set my alarm clock and woke up, changed then headed out. Reached on time.
I sat next to the male wall and he's chatty so we conversed in English about stuff, he helped translate stuff to me too. I ate the food and try to engage in some conversation. They try to include me as best, so I return the favor by talking more.
One surprising thing I found out is that chatty class (not the entire class but the large group) of mine are only so during my class, for other subjects that my colleagues teach, super-quiet. Says their main form, the other Wall. I was very surprised. I assumed they would be the same in other classes. But then my class is a group of them, not in the entire class setting. Then again, during the combined communication lesson, they do show that side to me, too. So I guess it's the comfort level. Outside the class when I see them sometimes at the corridor.
Guess its refreshing to have a diff teacher with diff style from the usual. Plus they enjoy seeing my reaction n facial expression when they purposely do something wrong/funny... Compared to my usual expressionless n tired face.
I did tell them about some other cheeky boys greeting me as "Boss" every time try see me... They tell me that I am popular among students.
Funny thing is I dunno why. I don't really talk much with students enough to know about their lives n their background. Don't smile much to them outside of my own class-time. But I do encourage them to raise their hands to ask me whenever they are not sure. I will attend to them all quickly. They have my attention regardless of their ability, as long as they ask. I try to explain in as simple a manner as I can. That's all. I must admit, I am a more lively person during lesson and once outside, I'm back to my sleepy, tired and lone-wolf self. I try to make each lesson interesting by being expressive n positive n include outside the textbook related points to explain. It makes things more worldly and informative and more connected to real-life. Also put in lots of time and effort to make the activities from scratch to target certain skills lacking. I still haven't covered them all... Hard pressed to slot into lesson timing with the textbook in the way... Have to think more about it.
For now R&R is in order. When I am recharged and refreshed, my perspective is sharp n inspiration hits me. Ideas spring to my head easily. Less effort n more efficient.
Got to iron clothes tomorrow.
Tomorrow can celebrate end of work n also End of the World.
Ironical my weekly follow-up yesterday, my sinseh said my condition has improved the greatest of all the times I had seen her. But that meant I had to keep up with this no 酸，甜，辣，生，冷，寒，硬 plus no milk, banana n most fruits... Until my condition had permanently recovered!!!!
I dunno when that will be, it's not in the near horizon but man, just 2 weeks n cravings are going wild. Imagine doing this for months... a year *OMFG*
The raving cravings are not helping me diet-wise. Imagine going severely over-calories a few times and more often meant I would put on weight cos my calories don't balance out from eating which is going hay-wire.
Trying to make back some extra from extra exercise. Going to do more than my 3 times (1 Krav, 2 conditioning) Very slim hope of balancing my severe surplus before Christmas.
_________________
Had a dinner with colleagues, it's the one for the level, for the end of the term. Because I have been skipping a few, I decided to go for this one after knowing where we r going to. It's a restaurant I've been before, and I don't drink so usually I pay $30. Fair enough.
So I lugged my guitar and my foodstuff from workplace home for the coming holidays. Bathed and actually dozed off in a deep sleep. I set my alarm clock and woke up, changed then headed out. Reached on time.
I sat next to the male wall and he's chatty so we conversed in English about stuff, he helped translate stuff to me too. I ate the food and try to engage in some conversation. They try to include me as best, so I return the favor by talking more.
One surprising thing I found out is that chatty class (not the entire class but the large group) of mine are only so during my class, for other subjects that my colleagues teach, super-quiet. Says their main form, the other Wall. I was very surprised. I assumed they would be the same in other classes. But then my class is a group of them, not in the entire class setting. Then again, during the combined communication lesson, they do show that side to me, too. So I guess it's the comfort level. Outside the class when I see them sometimes at the corridor.
Guess its refreshing to have a diff teacher with diff style from the usual. Plus they enjoy seeing my reaction n facial expression when they purposely do something wrong/funny... Compared to my usual expressionless n tired face.
I did tell them about some other cheeky boys greeting me as "Boss" every time try see me... They tell me that I am popular among students.
Funny thing is I dunno why. I don't really talk much with students enough to know about their lives n their background. Don't smile much to them outside of my own class-time. But I do encourage them to raise their hands to ask me whenever they are not sure. I will attend to them all quickly. They have my attention regardless of their ability, as long as they ask. I try to explain in as simple a manner as I can. That's all. I must admit, I am a more lively person during lesson and once outside, I'm back to my sleepy, tired and lone-wolf self. I try to make each lesson interesting by being expressive n positive n include outside the textbook related points to explain. It makes things more worldly and informative and more connected to real-life. Also put in lots of time and effort to make the activities from scratch to target certain skills lacking. I still haven't covered them all... Hard pressed to slot into lesson timing with the textbook in the way... Have to think more about it.
For now R&R is in order. When I am recharged and refreshed, my perspective is sharp n inspiration hits me. Ideas spring to my head easily. Less effort n more efficient.
Got to iron clothes tomorrow.
Tomorrow can celebrate end of work n also End of the World.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Cravings went crazy, munchies really bad
On Sat, my calories were in track to be just OK. But by 11pm, I was hungry. Cooked a pack of Instant noodles - Myjo Garlic Chicken with egg n leftover pork balls. Also took out my Brothers Toffee Apple Cider and drank it after my 'supper' so that meant super over-calories.
Woke up on Sunday, ate 卤米粉 large for breakfast, ate rice with soup for lunch but dunno why I ended up eating an entire pack of Calabee Potato chips. Really having very bad munchies. That adds 450 calories to an already severe over-calories, brought forward from the night before. Dinner was mainly porridge with some of mom's dishes but the damage was done...
In just 1 day, I overshot by 70.5%, which is kinda a bummer cos that meant I had to go on low-calories for at least a week plus to make back and it's just 7 more days til Christmas. OMG... That would be another round of dieting after that...
Kinda to reduce the guilt, I did a conditioning workout but without KettleBell on Sunday. Then Mon, decided to do another workout - KettleBell, dips and stomach. Tue is another Krav Maga class cum workout. I don't count the calories burnt off from exercise. They are the extra.
My basic premise is that my food intake calories should balance itself off after some days of plainer food. The plainer food sacrifice is to remind myself not to over-indulge too much. At least not until no matter how plain I eat, can't balance after some time. That's another trick I have developed.
But today I had fulfilled my craving for Aatons for dinner. Had my double-up chicken, Fried cutlet, other is Hickory BBQ chicken with garden veg and homemade salad. Had Coke Zero. Calories for today just about balanced but I did go and do a workout later on, to try to off-set the feeling.
Had initially wanted to go to HV but it started drizzling, change of plans to just settle my own dinner. I am tempted to go to Nam Nam on Fri if I am able to leave earlier. Think maybe can cos its the last day of the term. Bring my stuff home then chuck and go out makan Nam Nam. I think of the sandwich n the noodles.
Wanna eat both...
FYI if Fri is the end-of-the-world, then it'll be so sad, pia so hard to reach the last day of the term, only to have everything end on that day too. Well at least you're not alone, everybody dies together, then we'll find out like SouthPark movie, which one got the after-life part correct.
Cravings are really going crazy, I am thinking many thoughts of food. Want to eat them all... Jia lat, can't go too crazy or later the sinseh would ask me to refrain and my weight would balloon. No... Ally efforts but its really hard to give up so much at a go, at once. Plain food is ok up til a certain time before the craving rears its ugly head and a whole over-eating occurs. Have to gradually get used to this. So sad...
Woke up on Sunday, ate 卤米粉 large for breakfast, ate rice with soup for lunch but dunno why I ended up eating an entire pack of Calabee Potato chips. Really having very bad munchies. That adds 450 calories to an already severe over-calories, brought forward from the night before. Dinner was mainly porridge with some of mom's dishes but the damage was done...
In just 1 day, I overshot by 70.5%, which is kinda a bummer cos that meant I had to go on low-calories for at least a week plus to make back and it's just 7 more days til Christmas. OMG... That would be another round of dieting after that...
Kinda to reduce the guilt, I did a conditioning workout but without KettleBell on Sunday. Then Mon, decided to do another workout - KettleBell, dips and stomach. Tue is another Krav Maga class cum workout. I don't count the calories burnt off from exercise. They are the extra.
My basic premise is that my food intake calories should balance itself off after some days of plainer food. The plainer food sacrifice is to remind myself not to over-indulge too much. At least not until no matter how plain I eat, can't balance after some time. That's another trick I have developed.
But today I had fulfilled my craving for Aatons for dinner. Had my double-up chicken, Fried cutlet, other is Hickory BBQ chicken with garden veg and homemade salad. Had Coke Zero. Calories for today just about balanced but I did go and do a workout later on, to try to off-set the feeling.
Had initially wanted to go to HV but it started drizzling, change of plans to just settle my own dinner. I am tempted to go to Nam Nam on Fri if I am able to leave earlier. Think maybe can cos its the last day of the term. Bring my stuff home then chuck and go out makan Nam Nam. I think of the sandwich n the noodles.
Wanna eat both...
FYI if Fri is the end-of-the-world, then it'll be so sad, pia so hard to reach the last day of the term, only to have everything end on that day too. Well at least you're not alone, everybody dies together, then we'll find out like SouthPark movie, which one got the after-life part correct.
Cravings are really going crazy, I am thinking many thoughts of food. Want to eat them all... Jia lat, can't go too crazy or later the sinseh would ask me to refrain and my weight would balloon. No... Ally efforts but its really hard to give up so much at a go, at once. Plain food is ok up til a certain time before the craving rears its ugly head and a whole over-eating occurs. Have to gradually get used to this. So sad...
Saturday, December 15, 2012
The cravings n the very-full satisfied feeling
In my last visit to the sinseh, just before I came down with stomach flu, last week, I was advised not to eat 生，冷，酸，甜，辣，硬 which somehow greatly limits my diet to porridge and soupy stuff. Things like milk, banana, green tea, cool types of fruits eg watermelon are also out. So I asked what can I eat? Porridge with say fish slices, pickled veg and try to eat a bit more yolk. Man, that's a big limit...
So mostly I've stuck to the plainer diet especially for lunch at work. I would dabao porridge from those zcp stall with a fried egg/steamed egg and plainer meat. Buy one can of pickled cucumber from the provision shop and eat them. Sometimes I dabao that for dinner. There were a few nights I cooked Instant noodles with egg for dinner. Myjo's Garlic Chicken flavor tastes good as soup noodles instead of dry. My favorite Curry flavor is out. Sometimes I eat rice but eat simpler stuff too.
Then Tab was away and the rest didn't meet up. So I had no excuse to eat out much. Just dabao Yong Tau Foo soup for dinner. Then this week when I saw the sinseh for the weekly follow-up, my condition had improved but still need to maintain it...
But when Tab flew back, that night before she arrived, I was munching on a fried Taiwan style 鸡扒, ate a few pieces with the batter on, bliss. Then for the rest, peeled off the batter and just eat the lean chicken instead. That was my lunch cos I didn't have time for lunch and just ate a few peanuts. We ate pasta and I had my soup, Hokkaido pasta upsized. Felt satisfied. That was Tuesday.
Thursday after Krav Maga, I had a localized style jap bento, with salmon and stir-fried beef. It's not high quality but I am happy with warm food. My canned drinks are mostly lukewarm and diet versions. Was telling Tab I am having craving for Nasi Bryani of all things but felt better after dinner.
Friday, I arrived earlier at CityHall earlier. Due to my porridge lunch, I wasn't sure if I could last until dinner time, 7pm plus everyone can't be earlier. So I went to buy the Best Fries Forever, Large with extra sauce. Its my first time buying a Large one. I got the Gusto Garlic and the Ole Ole Creamy Salsa sauce. Found a seat near the standing tables. Put them on the seat beside me and started eating. It's really nice to have 2 different sauces cos when u are kinda sick of eating one, u change to the other and experience a diff taste altogether. Happily munched 3/4 of it. Quet came and finished up the rest. We went to look at Nam Nam, but it had a rather long queue.
Quiet suggested Menya Musashi, we walked there, no queue n headed in. I ordered the Tsukenmen only because I get upsize the noodles, til a max of 5 times. I went for 2 times cos despite the fries in my stomach, I was still kinda hungry. Ate the 2 times and finished all the soup. Maybe if I am really empty, can try 3 times. Had the white-based soup this time, it's lighter than the black. Really satisfied with a full belly. It's a sort of a simple bliss. Taste-wise also satisfied.
But I went back earlier cos I was nursing a sore knee-cap since last night. Didn't want to overtax it but I had to climb up and down stairs at work, walk out to buy lunch and also walk over to Clementi central to take the mrt. The mrt ride kinda aggravated it with the jerking movement of starting and stopping. Took a long bus ride home but sat throughout.
It's been a while since I have been so satisfied. As in eat until very full. Not a common occurrence nowadays with my diet, calorie-counting and now restricted diet. It came as no surprise that I could buckle an extra hole in my usual belt easily. It started with 4, then 6 now 7. Well that's the only plus of this restricted diet.
Last night was over-calories, today is pay-back. Plan to do a workout later on. Morning ate my卤米粉 large, then lunch is porridge with 菜心 mainly, ate some dishes my mom cooked. Had 2 Halloween peanut and caramel choc eyeballs. With a diet 7-up, plain water. That's 1083 calories. My max is 1690 calories. Dinner, planned to eat more porridge or small bowl rice with 菜心 and some of the dishes my mom cook for dinner.
Kinda of a lazy day cos of the weather. Will rest myself, knee cap and try to do a workout.
So mostly I've stuck to the plainer diet especially for lunch at work. I would dabao porridge from those zcp stall with a fried egg/steamed egg and plainer meat. Buy one can of pickled cucumber from the provision shop and eat them. Sometimes I dabao that for dinner. There were a few nights I cooked Instant noodles with egg for dinner. Myjo's Garlic Chicken flavor tastes good as soup noodles instead of dry. My favorite Curry flavor is out. Sometimes I eat rice but eat simpler stuff too.
Then Tab was away and the rest didn't meet up. So I had no excuse to eat out much. Just dabao Yong Tau Foo soup for dinner. Then this week when I saw the sinseh for the weekly follow-up, my condition had improved but still need to maintain it...
But when Tab flew back, that night before she arrived, I was munching on a fried Taiwan style 鸡扒, ate a few pieces with the batter on, bliss. Then for the rest, peeled off the batter and just eat the lean chicken instead. That was my lunch cos I didn't have time for lunch and just ate a few peanuts. We ate pasta and I had my soup, Hokkaido pasta upsized. Felt satisfied. That was Tuesday.
Thursday after Krav Maga, I had a localized style jap bento, with salmon and stir-fried beef. It's not high quality but I am happy with warm food. My canned drinks are mostly lukewarm and diet versions. Was telling Tab I am having craving for Nasi Bryani of all things but felt better after dinner.
Friday, I arrived earlier at CityHall earlier. Due to my porridge lunch, I wasn't sure if I could last until dinner time, 7pm plus everyone can't be earlier. So I went to buy the Best Fries Forever, Large with extra sauce. Its my first time buying a Large one. I got the Gusto Garlic and the Ole Ole Creamy Salsa sauce. Found a seat near the standing tables. Put them on the seat beside me and started eating. It's really nice to have 2 different sauces cos when u are kinda sick of eating one, u change to the other and experience a diff taste altogether. Happily munched 3/4 of it. Quet came and finished up the rest. We went to look at Nam Nam, but it had a rather long queue.
Quiet suggested Menya Musashi, we walked there, no queue n headed in. I ordered the Tsukenmen only because I get upsize the noodles, til a max of 5 times. I went for 2 times cos despite the fries in my stomach, I was still kinda hungry. Ate the 2 times and finished all the soup. Maybe if I am really empty, can try 3 times. Had the white-based soup this time, it's lighter than the black. Really satisfied with a full belly. It's a sort of a simple bliss. Taste-wise also satisfied.
But I went back earlier cos I was nursing a sore knee-cap since last night. Didn't want to overtax it but I had to climb up and down stairs at work, walk out to buy lunch and also walk over to Clementi central to take the mrt. The mrt ride kinda aggravated it with the jerking movement of starting and stopping. Took a long bus ride home but sat throughout.
It's been a while since I have been so satisfied. As in eat until very full. Not a common occurrence nowadays with my diet, calorie-counting and now restricted diet. It came as no surprise that I could buckle an extra hole in my usual belt easily. It started with 4, then 6 now 7. Well that's the only plus of this restricted diet.
Last night was over-calories, today is pay-back. Plan to do a workout later on. Morning ate my卤米粉 large, then lunch is porridge with 菜心 mainly, ate some dishes my mom cooked. Had 2 Halloween peanut and caramel choc eyeballs. With a diet 7-up, plain water. That's 1083 calories. My max is 1690 calories. Dinner, planned to eat more porridge or small bowl rice with 菜心 and some of the dishes my mom cook for dinner.
Kinda of a lazy day cos of the weather. Will rest myself, knee cap and try to do a workout.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
霸工 then A Sweet Gesture
Today I was kinda sian. Feeling the fatigue and mainly due to the 'Party' fiasco n then followed by the 'Candy' hoo-ha, I was literally drained of my inspiration and motivation.
Such that today being such a light day, due to a swap, I end up with just 1 lesson for the day. Of course I don't show negativity during the lesson but outside of it, I was sian.
Usually I would be working through any free periods I have, clearly work-on-hand, thinking about lessons, preparing lessons in advance or making worksheet and activity materials. ALL came to a stand-still today. I utterly refused to do anything remotely productive. Instead I was listening to guitar riffs and looking for guitar tabs and amending some that I wanted to try to play. Managed to tab 2 songs I wanted to learn without having to pay for the subscription...
I was asked to be on a panel of judge for a speech contest. 7 out of 8 were my former students from last year. I listened hard and tried to be fair in scoring them. I thought I was overly generous but the final results after tallying among the judges was exactly the order I had scored them. So I wasn't thinking too differently from them. I tried very hard to be unbiased.
As this contest was going on, my level was having some sort of a class party, which I wasnt really aware of. Went up to class for the dismissal part and was presented with 2 slices of cake with lots of rainbow sprinkles n choc chips sprinkled and half a bar of Meiji chocolate with a message written behind it using white chocolate. It's made by a group of about 5-6 girls. They baked for the whole class yesterday during cca timing. Went to thank those girls face-to-face.
Didn't eat it then, no time and still had to help to discipline... I did ask for 1 min to explain to the class that I was down for judging duties for the speech competition. Also thank them for remembering me n giving me the cake, plus hope they had enjoyed their party.
Carried the cake downstairs to the envy of another class which didn't prepare food. It's kinda not standardized. What about the 'fair' aspect? Whatever...
I was touched by the simple message on the chocolate bar and the gesture. So those candy weren't bought yet cos the two Walls were slow-footing. I decided then if they cancel or call it off, I AM buying candy for my form class since there's no issue.
After cca, I ate the cake n chocolate. It was extremely SWEET, on many levels. The plain cake was sweet, the rainbow sprinkles and choc chips were sweet, and the half bar of milk chocolate was sweet. sugar over-dose. But it's one of those times where I eat it without complaint.
I waited and stayed back a bit to catch the two Walls to ask a final time about the final verdict from the other levels and them. In the end, only my level is doing. So I told them I would buy for the level cos I live nearby. I went to see the sinseh for the weekly follow-up first.
Went to the supermarket and chose the candy, carefully, no broken canes. Asked the cashier to be gentle too. Then I was considering to bring home or make another trip to the workplace. In the end, I decided to make the trip cos if I had to bring tomorrow, many pairs of eyes. By then it was almost 7pm, no unnecessary pairs of eyes to see. So I carefully lugged on the bus and walked to the workplace. It was drizzling a bit but I didn't have my umbrella. Just walk in the drizzle. Reached, passed over to the two Walls who seemed happy about it. They store it away in a cupboard and I headed home. Grabbed my jacket to use as a raincoat. My part is done for now. Now only need to distribute and claim back my $$$. Don't get me wrong, I was willing to pay but not for everyone. Plus it was so much less hassle if its just my own biz - money.
Never-mind, will think about it Tom. That "hard" part is over for now. It's been a grueling 2-3 weeks of vague answers, inaction, no follow-ups, hoo-ha, frustration n irritation. Tell me about it but the sweet gesture somehow made it seem worth it. Though I don't think everyone deserved to get the candy, but bo bian at least the deserving ones do get it.
Such that today being such a light day, due to a swap, I end up with just 1 lesson for the day. Of course I don't show negativity during the lesson but outside of it, I was sian.
Usually I would be working through any free periods I have, clearly work-on-hand, thinking about lessons, preparing lessons in advance or making worksheet and activity materials. ALL came to a stand-still today. I utterly refused to do anything remotely productive. Instead I was listening to guitar riffs and looking for guitar tabs and amending some that I wanted to try to play. Managed to tab 2 songs I wanted to learn without having to pay for the subscription...
I was asked to be on a panel of judge for a speech contest. 7 out of 8 were my former students from last year. I listened hard and tried to be fair in scoring them. I thought I was overly generous but the final results after tallying among the judges was exactly the order I had scored them. So I wasn't thinking too differently from them. I tried very hard to be unbiased.
As this contest was going on, my level was having some sort of a class party, which I wasnt really aware of. Went up to class for the dismissal part and was presented with 2 slices of cake with lots of rainbow sprinkles n choc chips sprinkled and half a bar of Meiji chocolate with a message written behind it using white chocolate. It's made by a group of about 5-6 girls. They baked for the whole class yesterday during cca timing. Went to thank those girls face-to-face.
Didn't eat it then, no time and still had to help to discipline... I did ask for 1 min to explain to the class that I was down for judging duties for the speech competition. Also thank them for remembering me n giving me the cake, plus hope they had enjoyed their party.
Carried the cake downstairs to the envy of another class which didn't prepare food. It's kinda not standardized. What about the 'fair' aspect? Whatever...
I was touched by the simple message on the chocolate bar and the gesture. So those candy weren't bought yet cos the two Walls were slow-footing. I decided then if they cancel or call it off, I AM buying candy for my form class since there's no issue.
After cca, I ate the cake n chocolate. It was extremely SWEET, on many levels. The plain cake was sweet, the rainbow sprinkles and choc chips were sweet, and the half bar of milk chocolate was sweet. sugar over-dose. But it's one of those times where I eat it without complaint.
I waited and stayed back a bit to catch the two Walls to ask a final time about the final verdict from the other levels and them. In the end, only my level is doing. So I told them I would buy for the level cos I live nearby. I went to see the sinseh for the weekly follow-up first.
Went to the supermarket and chose the candy, carefully, no broken canes. Asked the cashier to be gentle too. Then I was considering to bring home or make another trip to the workplace. In the end, I decided to make the trip cos if I had to bring tomorrow, many pairs of eyes. By then it was almost 7pm, no unnecessary pairs of eyes to see. So I carefully lugged on the bus and walked to the workplace. It was drizzling a bit but I didn't have my umbrella. Just walk in the drizzle. Reached, passed over to the two Walls who seemed happy about it. They store it away in a cupboard and I headed home. Grabbed my jacket to use as a raincoat. My part is done for now. Now only need to distribute and claim back my $$$. Don't get me wrong, I was willing to pay but not for everyone. Plus it was so much less hassle if its just my own biz - money.
Never-mind, will think about it Tom. That "hard" part is over for now. It's been a grueling 2-3 weeks of vague answers, inaction, no follow-ups, hoo-ha, frustration n irritation. Tell me about it but the sweet gesture somehow made it seem worth it. Though I don't think everyone deserved to get the candy, but bo bian at least the deserving ones do get it.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
A continuation of the Wall episode, unexpected twists n turns
I went to ask the Head regarding the gifting of some candy to my students last Friday. He told me he will check with the other 2 Heads of the other levels. (Inside I'm like WTF?!? Can't u decide?)
Because time is running short. Need time to buy and also find time with students due to time-table changes again, so when today he didn't get back to me. I asked again.
Created a sort of a big hoo-ha... He went to ask the other two Heads of other levels and asked back the two Walls... Initial reply to me was if I gave to my sub-form class is okay but not to my own students whereas my main intent was to give to my students and maybe then sub. Went off to ask again.
Kinda irritated then cos the last time talked with double Walls, they left the decision to me if I just gave them a candy, and not have a class party. Now they are being consulted and they come back to me with the same argument about fairness...
When they asked me after dismissal to discuss about the issue, I had already given up in my mind. My students in the class just before dismissal heard my loud sighs. It's not cos of them, I assured.
Basically I told them it was a local thingy, a sort of appreciation, which we don't mind paying cos it's just once a year. I told them since its causing so much hoo-ha, I won't do it then.
Surprisingly now they wanted to do it, just that they want to do it fairly. As in all the levels in the subject do it, all the classes do it, not just a selected group. I told them they should not be obliged cos it's not their way. But now they want to do it... Just that instead of buying just for my own students (small volume), I potentially had to go buy for the entire school... Using work budget... If they could decide on the size and quantity of the candy though... That's another thing.
Whatever. Like as if the initial fuss about combining the classes didn't create more work for me, then I searched for activities, passed them 2, then ask for permission also so much hassle, now gotta buy mass quantity...
Ya u tell me this now, with just so little time to spare. I told them I am not going to do any parties cos there's no time to prepare much. Will end off with the single candy though. Now they want to do their own party with their own student. I did provide them with a couple of materials... Ironical?
So I reminded them both that there wasn't much time left. Need to go and buy it maybe tomorrow. Have to go with the Wall. Hope she can make up her mind about the size of the candy. Cos some would be leaving earlier before the term closes, I told them straight out, last year when I did it. It was a series of steps and things, with rules and explanations, not so last minute.
Really at this point, I've reached the point of 'Whatever'
Because time is running short. Need time to buy and also find time with students due to time-table changes again, so when today he didn't get back to me. I asked again.
Created a sort of a big hoo-ha... He went to ask the other two Heads of other levels and asked back the two Walls... Initial reply to me was if I gave to my sub-form class is okay but not to my own students whereas my main intent was to give to my students and maybe then sub. Went off to ask again.
Kinda irritated then cos the last time talked with double Walls, they left the decision to me if I just gave them a candy, and not have a class party. Now they are being consulted and they come back to me with the same argument about fairness...
When they asked me after dismissal to discuss about the issue, I had already given up in my mind. My students in the class just before dismissal heard my loud sighs. It's not cos of them, I assured.
Basically I told them it was a local thingy, a sort of appreciation, which we don't mind paying cos it's just once a year. I told them since its causing so much hoo-ha, I won't do it then.
Surprisingly now they wanted to do it, just that they want to do it fairly. As in all the levels in the subject do it, all the classes do it, not just a selected group. I told them they should not be obliged cos it's not their way. But now they want to do it... Just that instead of buying just for my own students (small volume), I potentially had to go buy for the entire school... Using work budget... If they could decide on the size and quantity of the candy though... That's another thing.
Whatever. Like as if the initial fuss about combining the classes didn't create more work for me, then I searched for activities, passed them 2, then ask for permission also so much hassle, now gotta buy mass quantity...
Ya u tell me this now, with just so little time to spare. I told them I am not going to do any parties cos there's no time to prepare much. Will end off with the single candy though. Now they want to do their own party with their own student. I did provide them with a couple of materials... Ironical?
So I reminded them both that there wasn't much time left. Need to go and buy it maybe tomorrow. Have to go with the Wall. Hope she can make up her mind about the size of the candy. Cos some would be leaving earlier before the term closes, I told them straight out, last year when I did it. It was a series of steps and things, with rules and explanations, not so last minute.
Really at this point, I've reached the point of 'Whatever'
Sunday, December 09, 2012
A few days of 吃草 & boredom
Wed evening tio stomach flu.
Thur - I went to work for half day, left later cos no lesson to see doc n got an mc for thur itself. Ate plainer zcp with porridge instead n 菜心. Later cooked instant noodles with egg.
Fri - Back to work, with the meds didn't run to toilet. Dabao plainer zcp with porridge for lunch. Drank an isotonic drink, Aquarius. Dinner was Yong Tau Foo soup after Krav Maga class.
Sat - More zcp porridge n 菜心 for lunch and dinner was Instant noodles with egg.
Today - Ate Lor Kway Tiao breakfast, milo drink, pork bun for lunch and Yong Tau Foo soup with half bowl rice.
All these while drinking plain water and plain Chinese tea mainly.
Tomorrow I am packing a bottle of 菜心 to work. Eat with porridge...
Very plain diet...
Appetite is okay but stomach rumbling, but no diarrhea. Mouth wanna eat stuff but I know my stomach can't take it. Not an interesting stage to be at. Like it wasn't boring enough to have a stay-in weekend, my food is also boring... Doubly feeling it.
Man, I've kinda noticed that plainer food is not that easy to find in sg hawkers. U are reduced to soup, noodles, porridge...
Today decided to go to Holland Village, though it rained. Bought a new bunch of alcohol, 9 ciders n a beer. Average out to $7.50 per bottle. Again the challenge was to get them home safely. Used my drinks bag. Also renewed my book loan in Clementi Mall then dabao my Yong Tau Foo soup dinner. Not sure if I'll be well enough to drink, but just put a bottle in the chiller.
Feeling the boredom still, later think I will go and do some stomach crunches despite still nursing some muscle-aches from Krav Maga in Fri. At least the stomach exercises can help to build up more muscles around my tummy. Hopefully flatten it.
Sometimes when I am not up for a full work-out, I just do dips. It's to train the triceps. I can do up to 5 sets of 30 dips, but think I should go strengthen my core (stomach and back) cos while the tummy is flattening out from the weight loss, it's not toned from the lack of training. Think I shall learn to alternate between the pure dips and pure stomach exercises, exercise both tough areas to train and also break the monotony.
Thur - I went to work for half day, left later cos no lesson to see doc n got an mc for thur itself. Ate plainer zcp with porridge instead n 菜心. Later cooked instant noodles with egg.
Fri - Back to work, with the meds didn't run to toilet. Dabao plainer zcp with porridge for lunch. Drank an isotonic drink, Aquarius. Dinner was Yong Tau Foo soup after Krav Maga class.
Sat - More zcp porridge n 菜心 for lunch and dinner was Instant noodles with egg.
Today - Ate Lor Kway Tiao breakfast, milo drink, pork bun for lunch and Yong Tau Foo soup with half bowl rice.
All these while drinking plain water and plain Chinese tea mainly.
Tomorrow I am packing a bottle of 菜心 to work. Eat with porridge...
Very plain diet...
Appetite is okay but stomach rumbling, but no diarrhea. Mouth wanna eat stuff but I know my stomach can't take it. Not an interesting stage to be at. Like it wasn't boring enough to have a stay-in weekend, my food is also boring... Doubly feeling it.
Man, I've kinda noticed that plainer food is not that easy to find in sg hawkers. U are reduced to soup, noodles, porridge...
Today decided to go to Holland Village, though it rained. Bought a new bunch of alcohol, 9 ciders n a beer. Average out to $7.50 per bottle. Again the challenge was to get them home safely. Used my drinks bag. Also renewed my book loan in Clementi Mall then dabao my Yong Tau Foo soup dinner. Not sure if I'll be well enough to drink, but just put a bottle in the chiller.
Feeling the boredom still, later think I will go and do some stomach crunches despite still nursing some muscle-aches from Krav Maga in Fri. At least the stomach exercises can help to build up more muscles around my tummy. Hopefully flatten it.
Sometimes when I am not up for a full work-out, I just do dips. It's to train the triceps. I can do up to 5 sets of 30 dips, but think I should go strengthen my core (stomach and back) cos while the tummy is flattening out from the weight loss, it's not toned from the lack of training. Think I shall learn to alternate between the pure dips and pure stomach exercises, exercise both tough areas to train and also break the monotony.
Thursday, December 06, 2012
Unwell... Condition is ... too
Though I was feeling a bit under the weather 2 days back, headache from the wet humid weather, sinus hurt. I was still bravely wading on despite the slew of flu n influenza going round.
Bad habit of some co-workers who persist in coming but wear masks only. So in air-con environment, help to transmit virus to healthy people...
Up til yesterday after work, I was still fine. Then I went home to change, had to go see the sinseh for follow-up. I was planning to go Holland Village to buy some alcohol. Then it struck. Had stomachache b4 I left home. While waiting for my turn, I felt it got worse. Was afraid I would shit my pants. Felt the rumbles. After seeing the sinseh, just next door to my place, I decided to go home.
Sure enough that evening, I had ran to the toilet about 8 times. This morning, I seemed to be well until it re-started a bit. Ate Poh Chee pills and it stabilized my condition. I had 2 lessons to get through, another 2 later in the afternoon were cancelled cos the classes were quarantined.
When I reached my workplace, I grabbed a mask and put it on. It's not like me to do so but I don't want to spread diarrhea-causing virus to students. One of the lesson, I had to have close contact with students, more so I better shield them.
Luckily nothing happened. But in the 2 hrs between both of my classes, I was too mentally not able to focus cos also had a budding headache discomfort. I didn't want to stay in the air-conditioned staff room, so I grabbed my guitar and went to my room, just practice with the windows open with minimal air-con. At least my body can do something while my brain rests. Time seem to move on quickly and it was time for the other lesson.
I had to lead cos the leading one had a last-min time table change so he had 2 classes at the same time. So I was activated as the main. That class was well-disciplined and half of them are my own students. Had no problem with them, though they were the cheeky bunch. They could keep to task.
Once lesson was over, I went to ask for permission to go back earlier n see the doctor. Couldn't reach in time for the morning time. Had to get a number and go back for the afternoon slot. Later waiting, stomach acted up again. i counted about 6 times running to the toilet today. Got meds for my stomach n headache. For mc for today itself.
I was still hoping to go to work cos it's greatly inconvenient, I would lose the periods if I wasn't around.
Also I wanna go for Krav Maga as planned. Hope to recover by tomorrow. Though tomorrow is slightly heavier, it's Friday.
But my stomach can't stomach much. Need to eat very plain food. The sinseh also told me to eat very plain food, cos apparently my lack of control of eating cold stuff, raw, spicy etc brought my condition back to where it was...
No 冷，生，辣，硬，酸，甜. Think I can eat grass, drink plain water n 做仙.
Bad habit of some co-workers who persist in coming but wear masks only. So in air-con environment, help to transmit virus to healthy people...
Up til yesterday after work, I was still fine. Then I went home to change, had to go see the sinseh for follow-up. I was planning to go Holland Village to buy some alcohol. Then it struck. Had stomachache b4 I left home. While waiting for my turn, I felt it got worse. Was afraid I would shit my pants. Felt the rumbles. After seeing the sinseh, just next door to my place, I decided to go home.
Sure enough that evening, I had ran to the toilet about 8 times. This morning, I seemed to be well until it re-started a bit. Ate Poh Chee pills and it stabilized my condition. I had 2 lessons to get through, another 2 later in the afternoon were cancelled cos the classes were quarantined.
When I reached my workplace, I grabbed a mask and put it on. It's not like me to do so but I don't want to spread diarrhea-causing virus to students. One of the lesson, I had to have close contact with students, more so I better shield them.
Luckily nothing happened. But in the 2 hrs between both of my classes, I was too mentally not able to focus cos also had a budding headache discomfort. I didn't want to stay in the air-conditioned staff room, so I grabbed my guitar and went to my room, just practice with the windows open with minimal air-con. At least my body can do something while my brain rests. Time seem to move on quickly and it was time for the other lesson.
I had to lead cos the leading one had a last-min time table change so he had 2 classes at the same time. So I was activated as the main. That class was well-disciplined and half of them are my own students. Had no problem with them, though they were the cheeky bunch. They could keep to task.
Once lesson was over, I went to ask for permission to go back earlier n see the doctor. Couldn't reach in time for the morning time. Had to get a number and go back for the afternoon slot. Later waiting, stomach acted up again. i counted about 6 times running to the toilet today. Got meds for my stomach n headache. For mc for today itself.
I was still hoping to go to work cos it's greatly inconvenient, I would lose the periods if I wasn't around.
Also I wanna go for Krav Maga as planned. Hope to recover by tomorrow. Though tomorrow is slightly heavier, it's Friday.
But my stomach can't stomach much. Need to eat very plain food. The sinseh also told me to eat very plain food, cos apparently my lack of control of eating cold stuff, raw, spicy etc brought my condition back to where it was...
No 冷，生，辣，硬，酸，甜. Think I can eat grass, drink plain water n 做仙.
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
The Unenlightened ways of one is getting to me
To preserve anonymity, I shall reveal as little details as I can about this particular co-worker.
Irks me greatly with the stubborn way of thinking. This is the 2nd time I am encountering the Wall and it proved unmovable, inflexible, closed-minded, narrow and obviously stubborn.
For the sake of being positive, I shall not reveal or immortalize the details. But just the outline.
First incident involved the deadline for submission. Basic story is we had diff deadline, Wall is not happy. I tried to reason but after 45mins, no reason of mine got through, though I took the effort to understand the other side. Btw the reasons weren't convincing at all but I had to relent. I did explain to students and they agreed with me instead... *sigh*
The second incident is involving having a small class party of sort due to the coming festivity in Dec. The answer was if I wanted to, I had to do for their entire class not just my students. WTF? So I thought about some stuff to possibly do but it wasn't enough to fill the time. I asked a second time if it was a go ahead, similar answer.
Then last straw is today where due to not having enough periods cos of some happening, I asked if it was still a go or just forget it. The answer I got was somewhere like If I want to do with my students, then have to do with the combined class but if I don't do it, then don't have to combine class for that. Can do our separate stuff. WTF?!?
So I straight out ask if I could still get them something without the party. That one, I had to ask the Head. If its okay, they have no problem with that.
Ok, I'll use the extra periods to do some of the stuff I really wanted them to do but didn't have any extra periods and end off with a small token for them. It's really like making a HUGE mountain out of a mole-hill, there's no issue.
It's just that they don't want their students to say that they didn't do a party whereas I did. Can't they sweep it under the blanket of cultural difference?
I had no issue with more enlightened co-workers last year so that made me think highly of them.
But this year, hitting all these brick walls made me rethink my perspective and understanding of them. Not as enlightened as I had thought. And obviously rigid, keep touting on the 'fairness' of things where there is no issue cos I am paying for it, taking the effort n initiative. I can't say the same of them but obviously not fair at all.
How do u inspire an interest when everything is so status-quo, so afraid of anything outside the supposed norm, not putting in the effort, time to do stuff...
Irks me greatly with the stubborn way of thinking. This is the 2nd time I am encountering the Wall and it proved unmovable, inflexible, closed-minded, narrow and obviously stubborn.
For the sake of being positive, I shall not reveal or immortalize the details. But just the outline.
First incident involved the deadline for submission. Basic story is we had diff deadline, Wall is not happy. I tried to reason but after 45mins, no reason of mine got through, though I took the effort to understand the other side. Btw the reasons weren't convincing at all but I had to relent. I did explain to students and they agreed with me instead... *sigh*
The second incident is involving having a small class party of sort due to the coming festivity in Dec. The answer was if I wanted to, I had to do for their entire class not just my students. WTF? So I thought about some stuff to possibly do but it wasn't enough to fill the time. I asked a second time if it was a go ahead, similar answer.
Then last straw is today where due to not having enough periods cos of some happening, I asked if it was still a go or just forget it. The answer I got was somewhere like If I want to do with my students, then have to do with the combined class but if I don't do it, then don't have to combine class for that. Can do our separate stuff. WTF?!?
So I straight out ask if I could still get them something without the party. That one, I had to ask the Head. If its okay, they have no problem with that.
Ok, I'll use the extra periods to do some of the stuff I really wanted them to do but didn't have any extra periods and end off with a small token for them. It's really like making a HUGE mountain out of a mole-hill, there's no issue.
It's just that they don't want their students to say that they didn't do a party whereas I did. Can't they sweep it under the blanket of cultural difference?
I had no issue with more enlightened co-workers last year so that made me think highly of them.
But this year, hitting all these brick walls made me rethink my perspective and understanding of them. Not as enlightened as I had thought. And obviously rigid, keep touting on the 'fairness' of things where there is no issue cos I am paying for it, taking the effort n initiative. I can't say the same of them but obviously not fair at all.
How do u inspire an interest when everything is so status-quo, so afraid of anything outside the supposed norm, not putting in the effort, time to do stuff...
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Deprived... later contented
Woken up by my stomach again and it's only 6am on a Saturday!!! Wat De Fark!!! Of course by now I am wide awake and thinking about how to go back to sleep which is near impossible, so find things to do. Guess blogging is one that is less physically exerting.
Yesterday had another sort of Clark Kent day... I decided to wear contacts cos I would head out by myself. By then feeling quite deprived cos the week felt so bloody long, thought Tab was flying off. Quetzal had to stay home to study. Was undecided between movie or shopping. But a decent meal was on the agenda.
I wore a long-sleeved v-neck black top I had just bought. With my usual greenish-brown long khaki pants and black sport shoes. Needed to belt up, now can reach the 6th hole (last time was 3rd - 4th) That's the obvious weight loss part to me. Quite like 'the look' created but hope it didn't inspire some to ask if I came from the Army...
Been trying to make back the calorie-surplus n though its still positive, my weight has gone down slightly more than before the surplus. Around 3.7kg more to go.
Had been going to work much earlier to catch students to finish off some stuff, needed for grades. Feeling the fatigue more than before. Trying hard not to come down with something... Been fighting off some cough with mucus. My mom asked for help to carry heavy stuff to the temple. We took a cab over then I walked over to the workplace. Despite drinking a coffee, I wasn't awake fully. While waiting, I was slouched over the table much like a student... Guess we aren't that different.
I had a period of lesson added, then have to be around for a period with form class, that meant my periods doubled from 2 to 4, my plans for a leisurely lunch outside is thwarted. Had a similar lesson with that same class I went to last Friday. Few of my own students needed much help. I helped out with the editing of their draft after they're done. Decided to sit down on an extra chair, within moments I wasn't alone. My chatty student came over and asked for help... Had to help decipher her scribbles, correct her grammar and form some sentences. Had an 'interesting' short conversation before I got up and walked around some more. I had to see the class again later due to the extra lesson added. I think this group "enjoys" my class a little too much. I feel like I am the source of entertainment for them. Its amusing but that leaves me feeling more drained...
Had another class later and it was relatively more peaceful and normal. Then my dabao chicken rice with liver and oyster sauce chye sim I couldn't finish off. Ate what I could, half pack rice, all the meat, some slices of the chye sim and chucked the rest. Rested as much as I could mentally before my next class which was the bunch.
I decided to swap one part with listening out for lyrics to break the afternoon, after-lunch monotony. Lesson was interesting. I used some funny examples to explain the words. Got through the main part. One asked me why I swapped the activity while I told them. My reason was its a Friday plus this is an extra lesson for me. He asked if that can be considered a reason. I replied yes, much to their amusement. Another later asked where my best friend was, cos I had a quick mention n show of the muscle cream I used the previous lesson cos I was still suffering muscle aches up til Friday itself. My reply was that it was downstairs, thanks for ur concern cos I was still having muscle aches. Two can play at the game.
Everyone perked up when the music played for the listening to lyrics activity. Me included, cos it really helped break the monotony. Ended with that. In the newly burnt CD, I had included Gangham style, so the boys played that and were galloping before they headed back.
Locked up, headed down to pick up the camera to be camera woman for the class thingy. Organized by students and carried out but discipline among the boys is appalling. I just took pics of the students, including the local ones. The rookie form is doing nothing about the misbehaving rowdy boys despite me pointing out to him. Fine, roll-eyes then take pics.
Later the head of the level came and I mentioned to him about the boys misbehaving. I didn't know he was here to assist in the before-dismissal 15mins. Apparently the form had to leave to attend to the refreshment at another venue. He was in charge of the event. The head led in the dismissal and scolded that particular trouble-maker infront of the class. By now, it will just make it easier for one day but surely no lasting effect. If there isn't consistency n escalating of tone, threats n punishment, there is no repercussion. So that's why that rookie dig his own grave, keep using the same tone to say the same thing. Class discipline is really laxed. Continue to roll eyes daily. I am trying not to raise my voice daily. I am using non-verbal signals to cue some to be quiet, including stare, walk over. I think those are easier on my throat. Need not have an even deeper and sexier voice than I do now.
Glad that Tab hadn't flew off yet. Took a scenic bus route n listened to music, glad the weekend is finally here. Met to eat dinner at SoupSpoon. So comforting to have warm food which I can eat leisurely. Told each other about our 'interesting' day. Later FH came and we went shopping for turkeys. Helped carry to the car n got a ride home. After bathing I was lights-out. Mentally knocked out.
Yesterday had another sort of Clark Kent day... I decided to wear contacts cos I would head out by myself. By then feeling quite deprived cos the week felt so bloody long, thought Tab was flying off. Quetzal had to stay home to study. Was undecided between movie or shopping. But a decent meal was on the agenda.
I wore a long-sleeved v-neck black top I had just bought. With my usual greenish-brown long khaki pants and black sport shoes. Needed to belt up, now can reach the 6th hole (last time was 3rd - 4th) That's the obvious weight loss part to me. Quite like 'the look' created but hope it didn't inspire some to ask if I came from the Army...
Been trying to make back the calorie-surplus n though its still positive, my weight has gone down slightly more than before the surplus. Around 3.7kg more to go.
Had been going to work much earlier to catch students to finish off some stuff, needed for grades. Feeling the fatigue more than before. Trying hard not to come down with something... Been fighting off some cough with mucus. My mom asked for help to carry heavy stuff to the temple. We took a cab over then I walked over to the workplace. Despite drinking a coffee, I wasn't awake fully. While waiting, I was slouched over the table much like a student... Guess we aren't that different.
I had a period of lesson added, then have to be around for a period with form class, that meant my periods doubled from 2 to 4, my plans for a leisurely lunch outside is thwarted. Had a similar lesson with that same class I went to last Friday. Few of my own students needed much help. I helped out with the editing of their draft after they're done. Decided to sit down on an extra chair, within moments I wasn't alone. My chatty student came over and asked for help... Had to help decipher her scribbles, correct her grammar and form some sentences. Had an 'interesting' short conversation before I got up and walked around some more. I had to see the class again later due to the extra lesson added. I think this group "enjoys" my class a little too much. I feel like I am the source of entertainment for them. Its amusing but that leaves me feeling more drained...
Had another class later and it was relatively more peaceful and normal. Then my dabao chicken rice with liver and oyster sauce chye sim I couldn't finish off. Ate what I could, half pack rice, all the meat, some slices of the chye sim and chucked the rest. Rested as much as I could mentally before my next class which was the bunch.
I decided to swap one part with listening out for lyrics to break the afternoon, after-lunch monotony. Lesson was interesting. I used some funny examples to explain the words. Got through the main part. One asked me why I swapped the activity while I told them. My reason was its a Friday plus this is an extra lesson for me. He asked if that can be considered a reason. I replied yes, much to their amusement. Another later asked where my best friend was, cos I had a quick mention n show of the muscle cream I used the previous lesson cos I was still suffering muscle aches up til Friday itself. My reply was that it was downstairs, thanks for ur concern cos I was still having muscle aches. Two can play at the game.
Everyone perked up when the music played for the listening to lyrics activity. Me included, cos it really helped break the monotony. Ended with that. In the newly burnt CD, I had included Gangham style, so the boys played that and were galloping before they headed back.
Locked up, headed down to pick up the camera to be camera woman for the class thingy. Organized by students and carried out but discipline among the boys is appalling. I just took pics of the students, including the local ones. The rookie form is doing nothing about the misbehaving rowdy boys despite me pointing out to him. Fine, roll-eyes then take pics.
Later the head of the level came and I mentioned to him about the boys misbehaving. I didn't know he was here to assist in the before-dismissal 15mins. Apparently the form had to leave to attend to the refreshment at another venue. He was in charge of the event. The head led in the dismissal and scolded that particular trouble-maker infront of the class. By now, it will just make it easier for one day but surely no lasting effect. If there isn't consistency n escalating of tone, threats n punishment, there is no repercussion. So that's why that rookie dig his own grave, keep using the same tone to say the same thing. Class discipline is really laxed. Continue to roll eyes daily. I am trying not to raise my voice daily. I am using non-verbal signals to cue some to be quiet, including stare, walk over. I think those are easier on my throat. Need not have an even deeper and sexier voice than I do now.
Glad that Tab hadn't flew off yet. Took a scenic bus route n listened to music, glad the weekend is finally here. Met to eat dinner at SoupSpoon. So comforting to have warm food which I can eat leisurely. Told each other about our 'interesting' day. Later FH came and we went shopping for turkeys. Helped carry to the car n got a ride home. After bathing I was lights-out. Mentally knocked out.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Clark Kent disguise
... this year, specifically after the time I tried to wear contact lens and V-neck plain Ts, on days I have Krav Maga.I noticed I am getting stared at by students especially.
I don't think I am imagining things... Cos I know the difference between a look, a longer glance and a stare. Don't think I am that egoistic to boast about my looks...
Well when the usual is polo-Ts n 3/4 worn khakis and spectacles everyday, it's really HARD to miss the sudden departure...
Plus I had students asking what happened to my spectacles when I wore first wore contacts then the next day when I wore glasses back, asked me why I wear glasses...
Think the change in looks from be-spectacled to contacts made some realize I am different. I noticed some of my own students became closer and more comfortable with me. Or that might be attributed to my interesting style of lessons? Or is just more familiarity over time? No hanky-panky, just they seem more comfortable.
Actually don't think it's a big deal but just cos I never dress formally with contacts, so it's kinda refreshing and surprising. Everytime I wear contacts, some female colleagues would remark I look good. One office staff didn't realize it was me until she took a second look when she saw me in the toilet once.
Seriously I've never realized that Clark Kent aka SuperMan's glasses disguise is so effective...
Last Friday, I wore this very nice-fitting black striped formal long-sleeved shirt with lady's work pants plus black sport shoes, carried my new Lacoste bag to work cos,
firstly there was individual photo-taking for the annual year book. I used the same photo taken 2 years ago n it kinda wasn't as nice a pic, plus I had lost weight, so wanna take an updated photo, though I was sceptic whether I could smile at all so early in the morning. I wasn't hoping for any better pic to be honest, just do it to change the pic they have been using of me for the past 2 years.
Plus I had to meet up with JC friends for dinner after work. So I had 2 choices; wear work clothes, bring formal clothes for photo-taking, and going-out clothes to change into or just wear the same formal clothes through the whole day. Opted for the latter. Brought make-up to cover a couple of pimples and just to make the face uniformly one-tone.
Well it's really one of my first time wearing formal clothes with contacts for an entire day with lessons, with slightly styled neater hair. I had worn for the opening and closing ceremony before. Just not for such a long duration plus not so nicely fitting. Loose jacket etc, plus plumper then.
When I got off the bus and was waiting to cross the traffic crossing, a bus zoomed past and I saw a male student of mine who had his eyes wide open along with his mouth on it. Just ignored and crossed and walked in. No colleagues mentioned anything when they saw me, except the office clerks. One said I look even slimmer in all-black. Another told me she prefers me with contacts.
When I went to my form class to do the usual jaguaring, one girl was lying on the table, dozing. Obligatorily, I had to shake her awake cos not meant to do so. She looked up, saw me and took a double-take. Think I have been too stern with my form class, no one asked. I just continue as usual.
The bell rang and I went down. Went to the toilet to apply the skin tinted oxy liquid in hopes it can cover my blemishes so that I won't have to do make-up. Am always a minimalist but it couldn't cover my couple of pimples so using that as a base, applied a thin layer of foundation to smooth out the skin. It worked. Put on lip gloss. Decided to skip blush n lipstick cos I just want my blemishes covered for the pic. Not to do the full thing for what? Plus I had 3 lessons instead of the usual 2.
The photo took a mere 1 min, think it was ok, not the best pic I could have in the morning. I just am not natural posing in-front of the camera. The smile won't reach the eyes. But glad for a change of pic.
Kept the make-up on cos shortly after was my 1st lesson of the day. Went to my room and carried a box of dictionaries. I wasn't the lead teacher, just assisting during the lesson. I was early so I sat outside the class on a bench. Didn't feel like going in so early to stare at them, they look at you until time is up. So while seated outside, got stared at... I could see like some girls walking normally, saw me, did a double take and started staring, boys noticed the difference too. Smiled and waved at a few then headed inside.
Once I was inside, a group of my male students came up and asked me why I wore black. I told them of the photo-taking n dinner plans. One (same guy with the open mouth earlier) thought I was cos-playing... Wow that really is such a big difference huh? It's a nice form-fitting black-striped formal shirt, I must admit. Love the collar n sleeves.
Then we started. While the lead was talking, I was infront, at the side, I tend to look in that direction to cue others to look, I heard one of my female student say that I look cool. Guess she was looking at my side profile while I was looking ahead. Didn't want to look back in that direction, don't wanna break the focus. Later when the writing began, I walked around to assist anyone who needed help. She raised her hand and when I walked over. First thing she said was "Teacher, u look really cool today", which my reply was a "Thank you" with a smile and asked if she needed help, which she didn't. Really I went around and around, asking my own students if they needed help, hardly needed. It was a good class unlike my form so really I had little to do but walked round with minor help here and there. One more chatty female student did ask for me to proof-read and help cos she didn't bring her file so some info wasn't available. Gave her some ideas to work on. I did say later that nobody needed my help so I felt tired walking around, she jokingly said I could go to my room to take a nap. Well if only I could. That lesson felt so long cos I had little to occupy me. But progress was great.
Ended and I carried the box of dictionaries back to my room, saw a student of mine, whose class I won't be seeing that day, she looked at me with a frown like concentrating. I just walk past and headed downstairs.
Downstairs I felt my face getting oily, blotted and later wiped off the make-up with wet tissue. Applied moisturizer instead. Checked books and files and listened to music. An hour later, another class, this time solo. But it was returning of exam papers so I was really serious cos two didn't do well. Nobody said anything to me not ask me why I dressed so but u can see they noticed. But exam paper was more important. After all the chalk dust, I had to use a wet tissue to wipe off the dust from my black outfit.
My last class was the last lesson of the day, stoned and listen music, read news, think of ideas, prepare. My own form class but they had seen me first thing in the morning so no surprise. Still nobody asked. So my policy is don't ask, don't say.
But during the going-home short time, I had to shout at a bunch who were delaying everyone by not being seated. Obviously my weak n inexperienced main is not able to settle them. Sian! Have to wear nice n still shout. Only this year I have to raise my voice so much... Plus roll eyes, look at the blue skies, and sigh
There was a heavy downpour just before dismissal. I change out of my sports goes n socks into sandals. Took my big umbrella and walked to the bus I was in-charged of. Two of my form female students saw me. I looked at them, they seem to want to brave the rain and run. Asked them where was their bus. It was on the other end where I was heading but I decided to ferry them cos my umbrella was huge enough. I did get my left sleeve n legs of the pants wet cos I shielded them more. Walked over, and they were discussing in jap how kind I was. Another of my student passed behind us, saw us and said "Teacher u r Ikkenmen", which I replied "Wrong term to use..." Thanked by he girls when I reached their bus then walked to the other end. By the time I walked to the other end, the other colleague settled so I didn't have to check the bus. Waved and headed back.
Had dept meeting and had to stay on and discuss some stuff. After discussion, another two female colleagues remarked I look good.
(Man after all these, it just make me think, what's the use of being cool if that attract female attention, am not lesbian. Plus if keep saying I look good now, meant I looked crappy on usual days? Also if wear everyday also is no impact cos it will become the norm) so I still keep to more important days plus Krav Maga days. Also feel my days of coolness is numbered as I age. Obvious lines on my face though not too deep yet plus how much longer can keep this up? True I am as slim as my Uni days but age is catching up. Haven't decided on any new look... Sigh... Wanna be young forever but the age does catch up both to the body and to the soul.
Later on walked over to the Mall and met up with my JC friends. First thing one said when she arrived was to tell me to stand up cos I was early and seated at the table. She wanted to see how slim I had become, cos she's in my FB so she knew of my weight loss. When she saw my waist, she was like "wow ur waist is 26 inches?!?" I told her no lah... She was keen to know how I lost the weight partly for herself but mainly for her husband whose weight ballooned. One of the married male friend also ballooned after marriage. i shared with them my attempts at both extremes of the Exercise vs Dietary Control spectrum. in the end, introd both to the IDAT app I used to track my daily calories. We had many interesting topics and threads of discussion. Ended about 9.30pm. Glad it's near to home for a change, reached home and bathed.
Next day Turkey tutorial, slept a bit earlier. This has been a crazy week...
I don't think I am imagining things... Cos I know the difference between a look, a longer glance and a stare. Don't think I am that egoistic to boast about my looks...
Well when the usual is polo-Ts n 3/4 worn khakis and spectacles everyday, it's really HARD to miss the sudden departure...
Plus I had students asking what happened to my spectacles when I wore first wore contacts then the next day when I wore glasses back, asked me why I wear glasses...
Think the change in looks from be-spectacled to contacts made some realize I am different. I noticed some of my own students became closer and more comfortable with me. Or that might be attributed to my interesting style of lessons? Or is just more familiarity over time? No hanky-panky, just they seem more comfortable.
Actually don't think it's a big deal but just cos I never dress formally with contacts, so it's kinda refreshing and surprising. Everytime I wear contacts, some female colleagues would remark I look good. One office staff didn't realize it was me until she took a second look when she saw me in the toilet once.
Seriously I've never realized that Clark Kent aka SuperMan's glasses disguise is so effective...
Last Friday, I wore this very nice-fitting black striped formal long-sleeved shirt with lady's work pants plus black sport shoes, carried my new Lacoste bag to work cos,
firstly there was individual photo-taking for the annual year book. I used the same photo taken 2 years ago n it kinda wasn't as nice a pic, plus I had lost weight, so wanna take an updated photo, though I was sceptic whether I could smile at all so early in the morning. I wasn't hoping for any better pic to be honest, just do it to change the pic they have been using of me for the past 2 years.
Plus I had to meet up with JC friends for dinner after work. So I had 2 choices; wear work clothes, bring formal clothes for photo-taking, and going-out clothes to change into or just wear the same formal clothes through the whole day. Opted for the latter. Brought make-up to cover a couple of pimples and just to make the face uniformly one-tone.
Well it's really one of my first time wearing formal clothes with contacts for an entire day with lessons, with slightly styled neater hair. I had worn for the opening and closing ceremony before. Just not for such a long duration plus not so nicely fitting. Loose jacket etc, plus plumper then.
When I got off the bus and was waiting to cross the traffic crossing, a bus zoomed past and I saw a male student of mine who had his eyes wide open along with his mouth on it. Just ignored and crossed and walked in. No colleagues mentioned anything when they saw me, except the office clerks. One said I look even slimmer in all-black. Another told me she prefers me with contacts.
When I went to my form class to do the usual jaguaring, one girl was lying on the table, dozing. Obligatorily, I had to shake her awake cos not meant to do so. She looked up, saw me and took a double-take. Think I have been too stern with my form class, no one asked. I just continue as usual.
The bell rang and I went down. Went to the toilet to apply the skin tinted oxy liquid in hopes it can cover my blemishes so that I won't have to do make-up. Am always a minimalist but it couldn't cover my couple of pimples so using that as a base, applied a thin layer of foundation to smooth out the skin. It worked. Put on lip gloss. Decided to skip blush n lipstick cos I just want my blemishes covered for the pic. Not to do the full thing for what? Plus I had 3 lessons instead of the usual 2.
The photo took a mere 1 min, think it was ok, not the best pic I could have in the morning. I just am not natural posing in-front of the camera. The smile won't reach the eyes. But glad for a change of pic.
Kept the make-up on cos shortly after was my 1st lesson of the day. Went to my room and carried a box of dictionaries. I wasn't the lead teacher, just assisting during the lesson. I was early so I sat outside the class on a bench. Didn't feel like going in so early to stare at them, they look at you until time is up. So while seated outside, got stared at... I could see like some girls walking normally, saw me, did a double take and started staring, boys noticed the difference too. Smiled and waved at a few then headed inside.
Once I was inside, a group of my male students came up and asked me why I wore black. I told them of the photo-taking n dinner plans. One (same guy with the open mouth earlier) thought I was cos-playing... Wow that really is such a big difference huh? It's a nice form-fitting black-striped formal shirt, I must admit. Love the collar n sleeves.
Then we started. While the lead was talking, I was infront, at the side, I tend to look in that direction to cue others to look, I heard one of my female student say that I look cool. Guess she was looking at my side profile while I was looking ahead. Didn't want to look back in that direction, don't wanna break the focus. Later when the writing began, I walked around to assist anyone who needed help. She raised her hand and when I walked over. First thing she said was "Teacher, u look really cool today", which my reply was a "Thank you" with a smile and asked if she needed help, which she didn't. Really I went around and around, asking my own students if they needed help, hardly needed. It was a good class unlike my form so really I had little to do but walked round with minor help here and there. One more chatty female student did ask for me to proof-read and help cos she didn't bring her file so some info wasn't available. Gave her some ideas to work on. I did say later that nobody needed my help so I felt tired walking around, she jokingly said I could go to my room to take a nap. Well if only I could. That lesson felt so long cos I had little to occupy me. But progress was great.
Ended and I carried the box of dictionaries back to my room, saw a student of mine, whose class I won't be seeing that day, she looked at me with a frown like concentrating. I just walk past and headed downstairs.
Downstairs I felt my face getting oily, blotted and later wiped off the make-up with wet tissue. Applied moisturizer instead. Checked books and files and listened to music. An hour later, another class, this time solo. But it was returning of exam papers so I was really serious cos two didn't do well. Nobody said anything to me not ask me why I dressed so but u can see they noticed. But exam paper was more important. After all the chalk dust, I had to use a wet tissue to wipe off the dust from my black outfit.
My last class was the last lesson of the day, stoned and listen music, read news, think of ideas, prepare. My own form class but they had seen me first thing in the morning so no surprise. Still nobody asked. So my policy is don't ask, don't say.
But during the going-home short time, I had to shout at a bunch who were delaying everyone by not being seated. Obviously my weak n inexperienced main is not able to settle them. Sian! Have to wear nice n still shout. Only this year I have to raise my voice so much... Plus roll eyes, look at the blue skies, and sigh
There was a heavy downpour just before dismissal. I change out of my sports goes n socks into sandals. Took my big umbrella and walked to the bus I was in-charged of. Two of my form female students saw me. I looked at them, they seem to want to brave the rain and run. Asked them where was their bus. It was on the other end where I was heading but I decided to ferry them cos my umbrella was huge enough. I did get my left sleeve n legs of the pants wet cos I shielded them more. Walked over, and they were discussing in jap how kind I was. Another of my student passed behind us, saw us and said "Teacher u r Ikkenmen", which I replied "Wrong term to use..." Thanked by he girls when I reached their bus then walked to the other end. By the time I walked to the other end, the other colleague settled so I didn't have to check the bus. Waved and headed back.
Had dept meeting and had to stay on and discuss some stuff. After discussion, another two female colleagues remarked I look good.
(Man after all these, it just make me think, what's the use of being cool if that attract female attention, am not lesbian. Plus if keep saying I look good now, meant I looked crappy on usual days? Also if wear everyday also is no impact cos it will become the norm) so I still keep to more important days plus Krav Maga days. Also feel my days of coolness is numbered as I age. Obvious lines on my face though not too deep yet plus how much longer can keep this up? True I am as slim as my Uni days but age is catching up. Haven't decided on any new look... Sigh... Wanna be young forever but the age does catch up both to the body and to the soul.
Later on walked over to the Mall and met up with my JC friends. First thing one said when she arrived was to tell me to stand up cos I was early and seated at the table. She wanted to see how slim I had become, cos she's in my FB so she knew of my weight loss. When she saw my waist, she was like "wow ur waist is 26 inches?!?" I told her no lah... She was keen to know how I lost the weight partly for herself but mainly for her husband whose weight ballooned. One of the married male friend also ballooned after marriage. i shared with them my attempts at both extremes of the Exercise vs Dietary Control spectrum. in the end, introd both to the IDAT app I used to track my daily calories. We had many interesting topics and threads of discussion. Ended about 9.30pm. Glad it's near to home for a change, reached home and bathed.
Next day Turkey tutorial, slept a bit earlier. This has been a crazy week...
Friday, November 23, 2012
So tired until cant sleep?
Mon - Went for Krav Maga then second dinner with Tab, lights-out shortly.
Tue - mark exam papers from 11am until 6.30pm. After dinner, lights-out.
Wed - return papers, go thru answers n coca resumed. After dinner, lights-out.
Thur - return paper, go thru answers, resume lessons n cca. After dinner, I almost lights-out but was thinking of exercising so I kept awake but ended up deciding not to do a workout, now still wide awake at 1.10am in the morning Wat De Fark???
Fri - return papers, go thru answers, resume lesson and photo-taking... Wearing formal clothes is such a hassle. Cos meeting up with JC friends so not changing out, just wear it throughout, otherwise gotta bring 2-3 sets of clothes... Too much hassle. Glad the weekend is finally coming but I gotta work this Sunday, with Mon off in-lieu...
Tue - mark exam papers from 11am until 6.30pm. After dinner, lights-out.
Wed - return papers, go thru answers n coca resumed. After dinner, lights-out.
Thur - return paper, go thru answers, resume lessons n cca. After dinner, I almost lights-out but was thinking of exercising so I kept awake but ended up deciding not to do a workout, now still wide awake at 1.10am in the morning Wat De Fark???
Fri - return papers, go thru answers, resume lesson and photo-taking... Wearing formal clothes is such a hassle. Cos meeting up with JC friends so not changing out, just wear it throughout, otherwise gotta bring 2-3 sets of clothes... Too much hassle. Glad the weekend is finally coming but I gotta work this Sunday, with Mon off in-lieu...
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Shopping still... The usual grouse
Bought 2 long-sleeved v-neck tops on Tuesday and just bought a new hat/cap last night. Surprised to find that that cap fitted my big head n matched me. Only $21.90, so buy. Black is easy to match. Usually it's hard for me to find something to wear on my head.
The shopping list is still long. Will KIV for things in it, especially with a sale. Somewhat like a wardrobe change of sort.
Bruises much fainter but still there. Will try to massage them away.
Still woken up by my stomach at the ungodly time of 7am to go to the toilet though it's the weekends... Sian. Went out to eat breakfast; my usual kopi-o n Lor Bee Hoon.
My severe over-calories are still severe. Think over 100% surplus!!! Have to make sure I don't pile up the calories surplus this weekend. Try to have small deficits and cancel them away. Also that meant this weekend, I would have to do at least 1-2 conditioning work-outs (My usual conditioning and KettleBell workout) to the music of Maroon 5. I should burn new music cd soon as the songs though nice are getting a bit boring. Now waiting for the 2hrs after food before I can work-out. Dare not step on the weighing scale with this much over-calories on the table. After I have cancelled them out, then I'll weigh myself again.
Trying to get enough rest cos the break is nowhere in sight yet. Up-keeping the fitness n energy n health level to last another 6-7 weeks without anymore public holidays, without falling sick, too and with no toll on my health n body in general. Some sort of equilibrium state.
Not sure if I'll be heading out this weekend. On one hand I feel the weather is good, can go out but I feel the fatigue from waking too early... Sleep, exercise, hibernate at home seems to be a great choice.
The shopping list is still long. Will KIV for things in it, especially with a sale. Somewhat like a wardrobe change of sort.
Bruises much fainter but still there. Will try to massage them away.
Still woken up by my stomach at the ungodly time of 7am to go to the toilet though it's the weekends... Sian. Went out to eat breakfast; my usual kopi-o n Lor Bee Hoon.
My severe over-calories are still severe. Think over 100% surplus!!! Have to make sure I don't pile up the calories surplus this weekend. Try to have small deficits and cancel them away. Also that meant this weekend, I would have to do at least 1-2 conditioning work-outs (My usual conditioning and KettleBell workout) to the music of Maroon 5. I should burn new music cd soon as the songs though nice are getting a bit boring. Now waiting for the 2hrs after food before I can work-out. Dare not step on the weighing scale with this much over-calories on the table. After I have cancelled them out, then I'll weigh myself again.
Trying to get enough rest cos the break is nowhere in sight yet. Up-keeping the fitness n energy n health level to last another 6-7 weeks without anymore public holidays, without falling sick, too and with no toll on my health n body in general. Some sort of equilibrium state.
Not sure if I'll be heading out this weekend. On one hand I feel the weather is good, can go out but I feel the fatigue from waking too early... Sleep, exercise, hibernate at home seems to be a great choice.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Bruises still there...
Despite Tab rubbing my bruises on Sat, I ended up with 3 more bruises appearing on my right forearm.
On Tues, we met up with Krynnder n ZX, together with Candle for an early bdae lunch of sort for Krynnder. Think everyone noticed the obvious bruises. It's like u could put 5 fingers on each and looked like a large hand had gripped my forearm...
After eating a sumptuous lunch of Fish & Co, we left them and had dessert n tea at Canele. The cheesecake is fabulous. Later followed by Soupspoon dinner. Obviously I had extremely severe over-calories. Plus my appetite is returning to normal levels courtesy of the Chinese TCM meds I have been eating, I think I would have to take a week or so of daily calories deficit to balance off the calories....
So have to really try to eat simply before the weekends arrive. Also slot in another workout, went for Krav Maga already. So that's one workout. One more for this week's quota.
The bruises are much less painful but very obvious against my lighter-color skin... So much so when I went back to work, more colleagues and students noticed. But when I answered 'Krav Maga,' blank looks, some colleagues gave me a 'why did u do that' look? Like I am going to explain my reasons. I just massaged them.
Today still there but fainter.
On Tues, we met up with Krynnder n ZX, together with Candle for an early bdae lunch of sort for Krynnder. Think everyone noticed the obvious bruises. It's like u could put 5 fingers on each and looked like a large hand had gripped my forearm...
After eating a sumptuous lunch of Fish & Co, we left them and had dessert n tea at Canele. The cheesecake is fabulous. Later followed by Soupspoon dinner. Obviously I had extremely severe over-calories. Plus my appetite is returning to normal levels courtesy of the Chinese TCM meds I have been eating, I think I would have to take a week or so of daily calories deficit to balance off the calories....
So have to really try to eat simply before the weekends arrive. Also slot in another workout, went for Krav Maga already. So that's one workout. One more for this week's quota.
The bruises are much less painful but very obvious against my lighter-color skin... So much so when I went back to work, more colleagues and students noticed. But when I answered 'Krav Maga,' blank looks, some colleagues gave me a 'why did u do that' look? Like I am going to explain my reasons. I just massaged them.
Today still there but fainter.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Almost short of a wardrobe make-over
One thing about being able to defer wants especially meant I don't shop as frequent. Yes I do spend money on food, good meals, sundries like milk, tea, bills, transport but my shopping is rather low most of the months. The pent-up wants n needs do manifest once a while. And when it does, the list is long indeed.
Tab and I went to the AFA in expo on Sat. Ate at SoupSpoon cos my stomach was giving me troubles. We took the train there, and while standing, started looking at our bruised forearms and rubbing them with a cream I brought along.
My bruises hurt more despite them being fainter. As I had told Tab, that entire area was very sore though only two small bruises appear. She had happily rubbed them for me which resulted in me yelping out in pain... Think the other passengers think we are crazy pple.
There was another "WilderBeast" migration with everyone moving in one direction. The ticketing queue was very long but fast moving. We chatted and looked on as the queue moved. I am sad to say there are some pretty female cosplayers but zilch handsome cosplayers. What a bummer! Though quite a bunch of Otaku photographers who fit completely into the stereotype of the word 'Otaku'. I was really trying not to stereotype them but when we saw some of them plus those who attended, it was the "OHhhhhh *agony* taku!!!" *puke blood*
We didn't buy anything, got a free fan and a free cup of Nescafe coffee. Then Tab's shoes died so we had a shopping emergency. We walked out and over to the ChangiCityPoint and into a shoe shop. I ended up with 2 pairs of blue & turquoise sneakers in my size, a 10!!! And new sets of ankle socks. (I had needed more socks and a pair of shoes for some time)
Then we headed to the top floor. With the intention to walk down from the top. There were outlet shops of various brands there. I ended up with a new formal long-sleeved shirt from G2000, a new cushy white-military flip-flops and a brand new Lacoste bag that is more structured, had width and the size I was looking for. Out-shopped Tab easily. Man arms are heavy from lifting those bags around.
FYI I still had quite a number of stuff to buy eg Sleeveless v-neck Ts, sleeveless exercise tops, 3/4 khakis for work, 3/4 exercise bottom, a new pair of sports shoes, a long-sleeved T or two, a few more nicer, fitting T-shirts, new pair of jeans, belts, box of contacts, and a new umbrella. Not all of them are wants, quite a few are needs. Just that I don't go out on shopping bouts during the weekend or even weekdays when I am out. Kinda build up after a while. This month's expenditure is higher cos of them but no deficit, just reduced savings.
On the train ride back, is another rubbing of the bruises and yelping out in pain.
Tab and I went to the AFA in expo on Sat. Ate at SoupSpoon cos my stomach was giving me troubles. We took the train there, and while standing, started looking at our bruised forearms and rubbing them with a cream I brought along.
My bruises hurt more despite them being fainter. As I had told Tab, that entire area was very sore though only two small bruises appear. She had happily rubbed them for me which resulted in me yelping out in pain... Think the other passengers think we are crazy pple.
There was another "WilderBeast" migration with everyone moving in one direction. The ticketing queue was very long but fast moving. We chatted and looked on as the queue moved. I am sad to say there are some pretty female cosplayers but zilch handsome cosplayers. What a bummer! Though quite a bunch of Otaku photographers who fit completely into the stereotype of the word 'Otaku'. I was really trying not to stereotype them but when we saw some of them plus those who attended, it was the "OHhhhhh *agony* taku!!!" *puke blood*
We didn't buy anything, got a free fan and a free cup of Nescafe coffee. Then Tab's shoes died so we had a shopping emergency. We walked out and over to the ChangiCityPoint and into a shoe shop. I ended up with 2 pairs of blue & turquoise sneakers in my size, a 10!!! And new sets of ankle socks. (I had needed more socks and a pair of shoes for some time)
Then we headed to the top floor. With the intention to walk down from the top. There were outlet shops of various brands there. I ended up with a new formal long-sleeved shirt from G2000, a new cushy white-military flip-flops and a brand new Lacoste bag that is more structured, had width and the size I was looking for. Out-shopped Tab easily. Man arms are heavy from lifting those bags around.
FYI I still had quite a number of stuff to buy eg Sleeveless v-neck Ts, sleeveless exercise tops, 3/4 khakis for work, 3/4 exercise bottom, a new pair of sports shoes, a long-sleeved T or two, a few more nicer, fitting T-shirts, new pair of jeans, belts, box of contacts, and a new umbrella. Not all of them are wants, quite a few are needs. Just that I don't go out on shopping bouts during the weekend or even weekdays when I am out. Kinda build up after a while. This month's expenditure is higher cos of them but no deficit, just reduced savings.
On the train ride back, is another rubbing of the bruises and yelping out in pain.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Happening Friday, eventful
Another Fri where I headed for Krav Maga, this time dragging Tab along. Quet was going out of town. So since both of us only, not that difficult to go for KM.
We hung around the usual, this time I drank Yuan Yang, it's too strong and powerful that I felt hyper instead of fatigue. Think tonight is going to be another late one. We joked and sat at one of the store display, cos that unit was unoccupied so it was vacant. All the bad jokes abt skyfall n posing as mannequins.
We reached there in time for the warm-up to Tab's dismay. But it wasn't too crazy. Then the instructor asked what we wanna learn, some wanted the stick choke, I suggested 360 defense, lower one cos last time only cover the top 180...
Ouch... I had forgotten about the pain from last time. Let's just say we both got bruises from it. But it's interesting and different from the top 180 defense. Think I need to work on coordinating the movements more fluidly. Shadow-workout.
Unexpectedly Tab n DF jio me to watch SkyFall together. Well if I wasn't a bright light-bulb, then it's fine. We were late from packing food n also finding the way around but magically we arrived n sat down, just in time for almost 10 mins of commercials. Nice, by then I had eaten my Korean Ginseng Fried Chicken, twice the price of KFC, in the car. We even had time to go toilet.
SkyFall is really action-packed. I think Craig Daniel wears very nice suits in the film. Nice body, lean n fit, like the Adele song at the starting credits a lot. Really didn't feel like a 2.5hrs movie. It's been a while since my last movie, Avengers. Nice to spend a Fri night this way.
Though after I got home, bathed n slapped on muscle cream especially on the sore forearms n massaged them. Hope to sleep soon despite of the Yuan Yang coffee tea.
We hung around the usual, this time I drank Yuan Yang, it's too strong and powerful that I felt hyper instead of fatigue. Think tonight is going to be another late one. We joked and sat at one of the store display, cos that unit was unoccupied so it was vacant. All the bad jokes abt skyfall n posing as mannequins.
We reached there in time for the warm-up to Tab's dismay. But it wasn't too crazy. Then the instructor asked what we wanna learn, some wanted the stick choke, I suggested 360 defense, lower one cos last time only cover the top 180...
Ouch... I had forgotten about the pain from last time. Let's just say we both got bruises from it. But it's interesting and different from the top 180 defense. Think I need to work on coordinating the movements more fluidly. Shadow-workout.
Unexpectedly Tab n DF jio me to watch SkyFall together. Well if I wasn't a bright light-bulb, then it's fine. We were late from packing food n also finding the way around but magically we arrived n sat down, just in time for almost 10 mins of commercials. Nice, by then I had eaten my Korean Ginseng Fried Chicken, twice the price of KFC, in the car. We even had time to go toilet.
SkyFall is really action-packed. I think Craig Daniel wears very nice suits in the film. Nice body, lean n fit, like the Adele song at the starting credits a lot. Really didn't feel like a 2.5hrs movie. It's been a while since my last movie, Avengers. Nice to spend a Fri night this way.
Though after I got home, bathed n slapped on muscle cream especially on the sore forearms n massaged them. Hope to sleep soon despite of the Yuan Yang coffee tea.
Wednesday, November 07, 2012
The year is zooming past n 1st target
The year is kinda zooming past fast. Plus I work in a place where the academic year starts in April - March, so the sense of time is even more distorted. I would look and realize that while the Term 2 is still far from over, by the time it does, the year is over. My sense of time is really distorted at times.
In that sense, time passes both quickly and yet slowly... Slowly every day until the weekend, then quickly over the weekend and yet weeks n months passed by rather quickly.
It kinda dawned on me that I have been with the class of this year for almost 7.5 mths already. Just another 4.5 mths then they are promoted. Then the cycle repeats another round...
I do want time to slow down a bit more especially when more candles are added to my bdae. Not long ago, I was a student, then Uni then started working. I am still kinda like what l was then, save for less naive, but still feel and think like that... But I've learnt to be more forgiving of my own mistakes n flaws. Want to have a simpler life, take joys from the simpler things in life.
So far this year of no extra assignment income is fruitful. I go for Krav Maga once a week, weekly sinseh follow-up, then the rest, I could rest on days I was mentally exhausted, also do about 1-2 own conditioning workout a few hours after dinner. Even find the inspiration from cca to pick up the guitar and practice. Some days lie on the floor, reading storybooks.
So investment income-wise, took me up til now to reach the 1st investment target of reaching $5k n over. Missed 2 oppts due to listening to Dad, sold too early. Have to learn not to listen. The extra is welcomed especially due to reduced pay, bonus and now extra $300 monthly. Really tight cos I am trying to maintain the same level of personal saving but it's not really do-able. The first month of Oct, overshot my budget... Really no leeway extra to play with... Hope for pay raise n more investment gains.
Maybe this year won't hit 2nd target, as long as I get it in my pocket, whichever "accounting year", I don't really care.
In that sense, time passes both quickly and yet slowly... Slowly every day until the weekend, then quickly over the weekend and yet weeks n months passed by rather quickly.
It kinda dawned on me that I have been with the class of this year for almost 7.5 mths already. Just another 4.5 mths then they are promoted. Then the cycle repeats another round...
I do want time to slow down a bit more especially when more candles are added to my bdae. Not long ago, I was a student, then Uni then started working. I am still kinda like what l was then, save for less naive, but still feel and think like that... But I've learnt to be more forgiving of my own mistakes n flaws. Want to have a simpler life, take joys from the simpler things in life.
So far this year of no extra assignment income is fruitful. I go for Krav Maga once a week, weekly sinseh follow-up, then the rest, I could rest on days I was mentally exhausted, also do about 1-2 own conditioning workout a few hours after dinner. Even find the inspiration from cca to pick up the guitar and practice. Some days lie on the floor, reading storybooks.
So investment income-wise, took me up til now to reach the 1st investment target of reaching $5k n over. Missed 2 oppts due to listening to Dad, sold too early. Have to learn not to listen. The extra is welcomed especially due to reduced pay, bonus and now extra $300 monthly. Really tight cos I am trying to maintain the same level of personal saving but it's not really do-able. The first month of Oct, overshot my budget... Really no leeway extra to play with... Hope for pay raise n more investment gains.
Maybe this year won't hit 2nd target, as long as I get it in my pocket, whichever "accounting year", I don't really care.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Achieved 10kg weight loss in 14 months
I was pleasantly happy that this week, when I stood on the weighing scales, I've dropped 10kg from my 'Pig of my life' all time weight last Aug. It sure took me a long time, 14months to do so but I'm glad I hung on and did it.
The plus points include fitting into my M-sized Tshirts very comfortably and looking good too, looking younger too. More bursts of energy due to the better fitness level but stamina is still not that great, feel lighter on my feet, lesser knee pain from stairs and feel positive.
On the other hand, the jeans n pants becoming loose, actually this is not so good cos I had gone through a wardrobe change the last time I gained weight so now bottoms are getting loose. Might need a change again. With my decrease in spending $$$ meant I would look for a piece at a time...
Actually I took a much longer time to do this... My sis did it in 6 mths, cos she could eat the same food eg Fish soup bee hoon for lunch every day. I can't, even now after gaining the ability to make dietary changes, I still need variety n not the same stuff daily.
How did I do this?
I think firstly is the mind;
1) acknowledging that firstly I was responsible for my own weight gain cos I decided upon what I put into my mouth. So I have to be the ONE to decide to take control over what I eat. I have to be the one to monitor n make conscious choices and decisions about the stuff I eat. Not just for a meal but at every single meal time. For the longer term view of health, I need to make better food decisions for my own health's sake.
2) A realistic expectation that while it would be great to be able to magically lose the weight overnight with no pain of diet n exercise, it's not realistic nor do-able. I told myself repeatedly since I put on the weight over a period of time say 2 years, realistically speaking, it would take about the same duration of time to lose it. If it could happen faster, great but if not, that's the span of time I have to keep things up.
With these, I set upon the start. So I started counting calories, weighing myself regularly, exercising at least twice a week. It was a learning process along the way, had trials and errors n refined certain ways etc
In the first 5 months, I had little success in terms of weight loss. Just a mere 2kg, hardly a dent. Plus obviously still rounded. The reasons were that I tried different combination of the diet-exercise mix.
Firstly I went with my normal eating (no control of the calories) but just keeping track of what I ate using the HPB app plus do gym 2-3 times in a week. I stabilized my weight from the "Pig of my life", it went down a little...
So I had to switch a bit more to a bit more control over what I ate, but wasn't well so one period of time, I had little or no exercise. That didn't work for me cos though my weight wasn't rising, it wasn't falling n I felt more flabby n had less energy...
Then I came to the decision, it had to be at both sides; a mix of diet-control & exercise. Since I already had my conclusion from trying the extreme of both spectrums, so it's time to move onto that.
Some little strategies I developed was to slowly wean out the unhealthier options and habits. Understand that it took me quite a while to wean them out slowly n gradually over time.
To illustrate, I used to drink Coke Zero 1-2 cans a day at work, it was to replace the soft drinks. But later I came to drink it too often. Plus studies have shown that it's not good for the body n diet due to the 'empty sugars' causing the brain to want to consume more food. So I consciously limit myself to just 1 can a day. I don't pop open the Coke Zero until I finally really needed to drink it, and not cos I drank it from boredom. So that worked. I could achieve one per day. Then next step was to not drink it on the weekends at all. Again once I could do that, I moved onto drinking a can every 2 days... And increased until just a can a week. Of course I replaced it with unsugared tea n plain water. Took me a long while gradually to make this change. By now, drinking a soft drink or diet soft drink is optional for me. I can make do with plain water or unsugared tea. No issues. This is especially helpful to the diet because without any sweet drinks in my diet, I am completely eliminating extra calories consumed by drinking. One spoiler of diets is the amount of calories consumed by drinking, especially for sweetened drinks.
That's one example of the 'Life-Style Changes', I slowly made over this long period of time. It's a lifestyle change because by doing that I am changing the eating habits completely n won't go back to it cos my tastes has changed.
Other examples include
Snacking Habits - replace with Jap snacks that had portion-control and fresh fruits like an apple, a pear, grapes, watermelon, n a couple of bananas.
Breakfast - eating one no matter how much my stomach cannot take it. Even if it's just some coffee, biscuits, a slice of bread, force it down n make it a habit gradually. It helps to keep my energy for morning classes.
Lunch - as I had developed the habit of recording what I ate for my meals, gradually it dawned on me how much unhealthy high calories food I bought to eat for lunch and quite frequently, eg Malay Nasi Padang, Bryani was delicious but after keying into the HPB app, I saw how much calories I was eating, I consciously weaned myself off it and ate stuff like Char Siew Rice which was lower and gradually moved down to plainer stuff, eg soup, porridge, ZCP n milder tasting food. This took me a while also but now I am able to decide what food I should eat to balance off the calories for the day. Say I had a Bryani for lunch, dinner has to be lighter. Overall keep my daily calories balanced, daily.
In the event that I over-eat while I still do, I have to be conscious and try to aim for deficits over the next few days to 'off-set' the surplus. It takes some practice but once I could do it, even the occasional Big over indulgence, I didn't put on weight.
Exercise - I keep to the 'No more than 7 days between each workput' rule. Research has shown and I have tried this many many times, is that to build up any routine, one has to do it for 3 weeks with max 7-days duration in-between. Once you break the 7-days duration, the routine falls apart and you have to spend another 3 weeks to rebuild it. Hence for me, once the routine is built-up, I refuse to break it. I rather pia that one day and force myself with just a bit more to do the workout and get it over and done with, then to have the consequence of breaking the routine entirely and having to spend another 3 weeks 'forcing myself' to build up the routine. It's much less painful actually.
With all these methods slowly over time, from Jan, my weight started falling more than previously. Started gradually then more and more. I was looking at my pics in January, compared to now the difference is very noticeable. On the other hand, I didn't really notice until recently. Reason being it was a gradual process. Life went on as usual, with the work taking lots of time but I reminded myself I am doing this for myself, so just keep it up consciously despite the challenges and fatigue.
Slowly one thing I noticed was my work pants became fitting, then gradually looser and now very loose. The belts I use, it used to be tight at my usual buckle then fitting and now I could pull an extra hole in and if I really try, a second extra hole, recently.
I wasn't staring at my face daily or whatever but I noticed my arms becoming more toned and my stomach flattening out. Only when some of the local staff eg security, office clerks noticed and pointed out that I seemed to have lost some weight, then I noticed it more.
Suddenly some fellow other colleagues seem to notice my weight-loss and asked me if I had lost weight. My reply was, "yes 9kg so far, took me 14 months", I could see the surprise on their faces. I think 1) 9kg is a lot, 2) 14 months is a long time, my persistence in keeping up with it.
I feel it's because I am doing this for the longer term health in mind, my motivation n persistence n patience are greater. I am also taking control of one aspect of my life n not letting others dictate it. Since I was the one who let myself go downwards, I'll have to be the one to take responsibility n action to rectify it. It's a learning process, lots of trial n error, tweaking the methods.
Now I am close to or already at my Uni weight. I won't lose the discipline and just let myself go anytime soon. I am still aiming for another 5kg to put me nearer to the ideal weight zone. To reduce the BMI to 22, body fat to 25% much healthier range. Now is still at borderline though acceptable weight. After all these, I wont let myself go so easily. After all the effort plus lifestyle changes, I want this to be permanent.
The plus points include fitting into my M-sized Tshirts very comfortably and looking good too, looking younger too. More bursts of energy due to the better fitness level but stamina is still not that great, feel lighter on my feet, lesser knee pain from stairs and feel positive.
On the other hand, the jeans n pants becoming loose, actually this is not so good cos I had gone through a wardrobe change the last time I gained weight so now bottoms are getting loose. Might need a change again. With my decrease in spending $$$ meant I would look for a piece at a time...
Actually I took a much longer time to do this... My sis did it in 6 mths, cos she could eat the same food eg Fish soup bee hoon for lunch every day. I can't, even now after gaining the ability to make dietary changes, I still need variety n not the same stuff daily.
How did I do this?
I think firstly is the mind;
1) acknowledging that firstly I was responsible for my own weight gain cos I decided upon what I put into my mouth. So I have to be the ONE to decide to take control over what I eat. I have to be the one to monitor n make conscious choices and decisions about the stuff I eat. Not just for a meal but at every single meal time. For the longer term view of health, I need to make better food decisions for my own health's sake.
2) A realistic expectation that while it would be great to be able to magically lose the weight overnight with no pain of diet n exercise, it's not realistic nor do-able. I told myself repeatedly since I put on the weight over a period of time say 2 years, realistically speaking, it would take about the same duration of time to lose it. If it could happen faster, great but if not, that's the span of time I have to keep things up.
With these, I set upon the start. So I started counting calories, weighing myself regularly, exercising at least twice a week. It was a learning process along the way, had trials and errors n refined certain ways etc
In the first 5 months, I had little success in terms of weight loss. Just a mere 2kg, hardly a dent. Plus obviously still rounded. The reasons were that I tried different combination of the diet-exercise mix.
Firstly I went with my normal eating (no control of the calories) but just keeping track of what I ate using the HPB app plus do gym 2-3 times in a week. I stabilized my weight from the "Pig of my life", it went down a little...
So I had to switch a bit more to a bit more control over what I ate, but wasn't well so one period of time, I had little or no exercise. That didn't work for me cos though my weight wasn't rising, it wasn't falling n I felt more flabby n had less energy...
Then I came to the decision, it had to be at both sides; a mix of diet-control & exercise. Since I already had my conclusion from trying the extreme of both spectrums, so it's time to move onto that.
Some little strategies I developed was to slowly wean out the unhealthier options and habits. Understand that it took me quite a while to wean them out slowly n gradually over time.
To illustrate, I used to drink Coke Zero 1-2 cans a day at work, it was to replace the soft drinks. But later I came to drink it too often. Plus studies have shown that it's not good for the body n diet due to the 'empty sugars' causing the brain to want to consume more food. So I consciously limit myself to just 1 can a day. I don't pop open the Coke Zero until I finally really needed to drink it, and not cos I drank it from boredom. So that worked. I could achieve one per day. Then next step was to not drink it on the weekends at all. Again once I could do that, I moved onto drinking a can every 2 days... And increased until just a can a week. Of course I replaced it with unsugared tea n plain water. Took me a long while gradually to make this change. By now, drinking a soft drink or diet soft drink is optional for me. I can make do with plain water or unsugared tea. No issues. This is especially helpful to the diet because without any sweet drinks in my diet, I am completely eliminating extra calories consumed by drinking. One spoiler of diets is the amount of calories consumed by drinking, especially for sweetened drinks.
That's one example of the 'Life-Style Changes', I slowly made over this long period of time. It's a lifestyle change because by doing that I am changing the eating habits completely n won't go back to it cos my tastes has changed.
Other examples include
Snacking Habits - replace with Jap snacks that had portion-control and fresh fruits like an apple, a pear, grapes, watermelon, n a couple of bananas.
Breakfast - eating one no matter how much my stomach cannot take it. Even if it's just some coffee, biscuits, a slice of bread, force it down n make it a habit gradually. It helps to keep my energy for morning classes.
Lunch - as I had developed the habit of recording what I ate for my meals, gradually it dawned on me how much unhealthy high calories food I bought to eat for lunch and quite frequently, eg Malay Nasi Padang, Bryani was delicious but after keying into the HPB app, I saw how much calories I was eating, I consciously weaned myself off it and ate stuff like Char Siew Rice which was lower and gradually moved down to plainer stuff, eg soup, porridge, ZCP n milder tasting food. This took me a while also but now I am able to decide what food I should eat to balance off the calories for the day. Say I had a Bryani for lunch, dinner has to be lighter. Overall keep my daily calories balanced, daily.
In the event that I over-eat while I still do, I have to be conscious and try to aim for deficits over the next few days to 'off-set' the surplus. It takes some practice but once I could do it, even the occasional Big over indulgence, I didn't put on weight.
Exercise - I keep to the 'No more than 7 days between each workput' rule. Research has shown and I have tried this many many times, is that to build up any routine, one has to do it for 3 weeks with max 7-days duration in-between. Once you break the 7-days duration, the routine falls apart and you have to spend another 3 weeks to rebuild it. Hence for me, once the routine is built-up, I refuse to break it. I rather pia that one day and force myself with just a bit more to do the workout and get it over and done with, then to have the consequence of breaking the routine entirely and having to spend another 3 weeks 'forcing myself' to build up the routine. It's much less painful actually.
With all these methods slowly over time, from Jan, my weight started falling more than previously. Started gradually then more and more. I was looking at my pics in January, compared to now the difference is very noticeable. On the other hand, I didn't really notice until recently. Reason being it was a gradual process. Life went on as usual, with the work taking lots of time but I reminded myself I am doing this for myself, so just keep it up consciously despite the challenges and fatigue.
Slowly one thing I noticed was my work pants became fitting, then gradually looser and now very loose. The belts I use, it used to be tight at my usual buckle then fitting and now I could pull an extra hole in and if I really try, a second extra hole, recently.
I wasn't staring at my face daily or whatever but I noticed my arms becoming more toned and my stomach flattening out. Only when some of the local staff eg security, office clerks noticed and pointed out that I seemed to have lost some weight, then I noticed it more.
Suddenly some fellow other colleagues seem to notice my weight-loss and asked me if I had lost weight. My reply was, "yes 9kg so far, took me 14 months", I could see the surprise on their faces. I think 1) 9kg is a lot, 2) 14 months is a long time, my persistence in keeping up with it.
I feel it's because I am doing this for the longer term health in mind, my motivation n persistence n patience are greater. I am also taking control of one aspect of my life n not letting others dictate it. Since I was the one who let myself go downwards, I'll have to be the one to take responsibility n action to rectify it. It's a learning process, lots of trial n error, tweaking the methods.
Now I am close to or already at my Uni weight. I won't lose the discipline and just let myself go anytime soon. I am still aiming for another 5kg to put me nearer to the ideal weight zone. To reduce the BMI to 22, body fat to 25% much healthier range. Now is still at borderline though acceptable weight. After all these, I wont let myself go so easily. After all the effort plus lifestyle changes, I want this to be permanent.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Red Bull Flue-Tug
Tab n DF n I met up at noon to eat lunch at Baguette. All of us chose the wheat bread which is kinda tough after toasting, will go for white next time.
We headed over via the Sky-Train, with the rest of the "WilderBeast" herds, all headed to the same direction. They had very tall barriers to herd u into a winding queue, towards the skytrain n back.
We reached the Siloso beach very glad that we had umbrella n sunblock on. I was worried abt my nose cos I was suffering a much milder outbreak dunno due to what I did last Thur... I used the umbrella already and was perplexed why still tio a much milder case of pimple-nose...
Luckily as of now, Mon evening, no sign of massive outbreak. Kept slapping on the Oxy acne cream, moisturizing n sunblock on it.
Anyway we were really glad we didn't just plan to be there from noon. By the time we were there, it was almost 2pm, but we still saw about 13 teams 'fly' their crafts. There were 38 teams in all.
Man the sun was scorching, flaming... And many were in their beach wear frolicking n prancing around like it's normal cool weather. If I was a plant, I would have wilted. The crafts we saw were funny cos of the jokes by the emcee, the Muttons. Got crab, goldfish, Nemo, Chicken, ERP gantry, durian, char siew pao steamer, anvil... Really a lot of variety. Very Singaporean theme. Laughed a lot from the jokes, really feel like out of country.
My toes were ironically the ones getting sunburnt, midway slapped on some sun block. Tab n I went to dip our hot feet into the waters. It was surprisingly cooling, but the walk through the beach meant sand n friction n discomfort... Until we washes the sand off.
Made another "WilderBeast" migration back to VivoCity n we grabbed a quick bite from the basement. The air-con restored our appetite n all of us indulged in fried food. They had the 鸡排, 炸翻薯. I had a fried chicken wing n nugget from Old Chang Kee. Their chicken wing is nice, esp drenched in tomato sauce, so reminiscent of my Pri school days.
Later headed to town to go to see a book fair of sorts. I was keen on dinner. We ate at Bugis Plus at the KungFu Paradise cafe. Their food is not bad n not overly expensive. Think my Stylo Kungfu Coffee kept me up a bit last night.
Walked around n saw this huge screen with live cyber match going on in one of the cybercafe. Cool, it's really been a long while since I did LAN gaming. That game was the same format as CounterStrike. Walked a bit to explore n got a ride back, so glad to have a bath to wash off the sweat, sun block.
But I woke up this morning very stoned, by the end of just today, so tired. Had a level event where I missed one lesson but had to be there for 2.75 hrs... Bad trade. Was camera woman, so walked around the venues to take pics, from the start until the end. Tired. Nothing else was done.
Tom is heavy heavy day... Hope to use my free periods to make something. Will try to take it easy...
We headed over via the Sky-Train, with the rest of the "WilderBeast" herds, all headed to the same direction. They had very tall barriers to herd u into a winding queue, towards the skytrain n back.
We reached the Siloso beach very glad that we had umbrella n sunblock on. I was worried abt my nose cos I was suffering a much milder outbreak dunno due to what I did last Thur... I used the umbrella already and was perplexed why still tio a much milder case of pimple-nose...
Luckily as of now, Mon evening, no sign of massive outbreak. Kept slapping on the Oxy acne cream, moisturizing n sunblock on it.
Anyway we were really glad we didn't just plan to be there from noon. By the time we were there, it was almost 2pm, but we still saw about 13 teams 'fly' their crafts. There were 38 teams in all.
Man the sun was scorching, flaming... And many were in their beach wear frolicking n prancing around like it's normal cool weather. If I was a plant, I would have wilted. The crafts we saw were funny cos of the jokes by the emcee, the Muttons. Got crab, goldfish, Nemo, Chicken, ERP gantry, durian, char siew pao steamer, anvil... Really a lot of variety. Very Singaporean theme. Laughed a lot from the jokes, really feel like out of country.
My toes were ironically the ones getting sunburnt, midway slapped on some sun block. Tab n I went to dip our hot feet into the waters. It was surprisingly cooling, but the walk through the beach meant sand n friction n discomfort... Until we washes the sand off.
Made another "WilderBeast" migration back to VivoCity n we grabbed a quick bite from the basement. The air-con restored our appetite n all of us indulged in fried food. They had the 鸡排, 炸翻薯. I had a fried chicken wing n nugget from Old Chang Kee. Their chicken wing is nice, esp drenched in tomato sauce, so reminiscent of my Pri school days.
Later headed to town to go to see a book fair of sorts. I was keen on dinner. We ate at Bugis Plus at the KungFu Paradise cafe. Their food is not bad n not overly expensive. Think my Stylo Kungfu Coffee kept me up a bit last night.
Walked around n saw this huge screen with live cyber match going on in one of the cybercafe. Cool, it's really been a long while since I did LAN gaming. That game was the same format as CounterStrike. Walked a bit to explore n got a ride back, so glad to have a bath to wash off the sweat, sun block.
But I woke up this morning very stoned, by the end of just today, so tired. Had a level event where I missed one lesson but had to be there for 2.75 hrs... Bad trade. Was camera woman, so walked around the venues to take pics, from the start until the end. Tired. Nothing else was done.
Tom is heavy heavy day... Hope to use my free periods to make something. Will try to take it easy...
Friday, October 26, 2012
Hectic, tired, glad for the long weekend
The craziness n hectic work of the past 2-3 weeks caught up with me.
Energy levels are down, fell asleep after dinner only to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, then try to go back to sleep. Not well-rested in the mornings then.
Just by Monday itself, I was sooo tired mentally. It's the final day of 'jagar-ing' so it meant an end to the 9 torturous days of having to raise my voice, glare, stare, look at certain nosiy individuals to intimidate into silence that is so rare daily in the class due to weak mgt by the form teacher. Daily I am rolling my eyes...
Tue, a heavy day of lessons n I had my observation of sort. It was a mix of formal n informal at the same time. Many and I meant many colleagues, even those not of the same subject came in and sat thru the entire lesson. Students were intimidated by the sheer no of pple n pairs of eyes, were initially quiet. I didn't care abt the visitors. I had told them I will focus on them and they could do like-wise. They warmed up n relaxed enough to make jokes even, made me laugh. It did liven up the activity. Had CCA and had to rush for Krav Maga after so the post-conference was the following day.
Wed - Lessons plus another set of visitors to another class, this time the diff class became really quiet until called upon. But they were doing well before visitors came in. Got to talk to the visitors after the lesson, some sort of interview. Had CCA.
Then post-conference for the lesson yesterday... Sometimes I wonder while certain pointers like gp work, pair work suggestions are raised, other comments seem to be say for the sake, plus activity doesn't always need to be paired with writing. Plus in the time frame of 20-25mins, doing it for the first time in the series, I want to lead it, to be a teacher-directed form, instead of pair/gp, but those are relevant for future ones when they get the idea of it. Can see the certain 'mindsets' of colleagues who think in a very stereotypical manner abt how a language lesson should be carry out. But they noted the positive rapport between the interactions, that would encourage the love of the language.
(my earlier lesson set had gp work planned in it but tio cancelled so waste my effort in planning, hence the switch to a simpler one upon short notice) Needless to say after that concussed after dinner n woke up near 3.30am wide awake. Had to try to go back to sleep.
Thur - still heavy, my batteries were low. Plus CCA again, 3 consecutive days, plus OT these past few days. Too tired after work, just want to go home n hibernate. Ate, then read a book, watched anime n fell asleep until 1am... Now trying to go to sleep again.
Think R&R is in order. Rest n relax, then exercise then can go out. Need to clear the mind n too much 'dust' from the daily grind. Need to recharge n refresh my perspective that is greying from the dust accumulated.
Because just only scrapped past the 8th week of the 17 weeks term. I feel my machinery starting to malfunction from the hectic-ness (had an exam, 2 events, observation) and more lessons and one more exam and more level events happening. Need the boost to pull through.
Also need to recharge the spirit n the positivity, otherwise would just be stuck in a work-rout with dull senses.
Energy levels are down, fell asleep after dinner only to wake up in the wee hours of the morning, then try to go back to sleep. Not well-rested in the mornings then.
Just by Monday itself, I was sooo tired mentally. It's the final day of 'jagar-ing' so it meant an end to the 9 torturous days of having to raise my voice, glare, stare, look at certain nosiy individuals to intimidate into silence that is so rare daily in the class due to weak mgt by the form teacher. Daily I am rolling my eyes...
Tue, a heavy day of lessons n I had my observation of sort. It was a mix of formal n informal at the same time. Many and I meant many colleagues, even those not of the same subject came in and sat thru the entire lesson. Students were intimidated by the sheer no of pple n pairs of eyes, were initially quiet. I didn't care abt the visitors. I had told them I will focus on them and they could do like-wise. They warmed up n relaxed enough to make jokes even, made me laugh. It did liven up the activity. Had CCA and had to rush for Krav Maga after so the post-conference was the following day.
Wed - Lessons plus another set of visitors to another class, this time the diff class became really quiet until called upon. But they were doing well before visitors came in. Got to talk to the visitors after the lesson, some sort of interview. Had CCA.
Then post-conference for the lesson yesterday... Sometimes I wonder while certain pointers like gp work, pair work suggestions are raised, other comments seem to be say for the sake, plus activity doesn't always need to be paired with writing. Plus in the time frame of 20-25mins, doing it for the first time in the series, I want to lead it, to be a teacher-directed form, instead of pair/gp, but those are relevant for future ones when they get the idea of it. Can see the certain 'mindsets' of colleagues who think in a very stereotypical manner abt how a language lesson should be carry out. But they noted the positive rapport between the interactions, that would encourage the love of the language.
(my earlier lesson set had gp work planned in it but tio cancelled so waste my effort in planning, hence the switch to a simpler one upon short notice) Needless to say after that concussed after dinner n woke up near 3.30am wide awake. Had to try to go back to sleep.
Thur - still heavy, my batteries were low. Plus CCA again, 3 consecutive days, plus OT these past few days. Too tired after work, just want to go home n hibernate. Ate, then read a book, watched anime n fell asleep until 1am... Now trying to go to sleep again.
Think R&R is in order. Rest n relax, then exercise then can go out. Need to clear the mind n too much 'dust' from the daily grind. Need to recharge n refresh my perspective that is greying from the dust accumulated.
Because just only scrapped past the 8th week of the 17 weeks term. I feel my machinery starting to malfunction from the hectic-ness (had an exam, 2 events, observation) and more lessons and one more exam and more level events happening. Need the boost to pull through.
Also need to recharge the spirit n the positivity, otherwise would just be stuck in a work-rout with dull senses.
Monday, October 22, 2012
All crap cumulates until tomorrow
Well seems after several weeks, when my energy level dipped due to work, I kinda end up with blog posts about fatigue.
There is a basis for my recent bout of fatique. It's work. Lemme summarize n gazed it up to avoid recognition.
1) Observation that was abruptly cancelled and then i had to prepare another diff one.
2) Poor class discipline by form so it meant I had to scold, shout to discipline them when I had to jaguar for 45mins for 9 days... Daily. I rather teach 2hrs of lesson instead of doing that.
Both would end by tomorrow. I need to survive until then. Just get thru the crap plus a heavy day plus cca altogether n after that go for Krav Maga to vent out the negativity n accumulated frustrations.
Tonight wanna sleep on time n a night cap... But I've ran out of craft beers n ciders. Hmm see how...
There is a basis for my recent bout of fatique. It's work. Lemme summarize n gazed it up to avoid recognition.
1) Observation that was abruptly cancelled and then i had to prepare another diff one.
2) Poor class discipline by form so it meant I had to scold, shout to discipline them when I had to jaguar for 45mins for 9 days... Daily. I rather teach 2hrs of lesson instead of doing that.
Both would end by tomorrow. I need to survive until then. Just get thru the crap plus a heavy day plus cca altogether n after that go for Krav Maga to vent out the negativity n accumulated frustrations.
Tonight wanna sleep on time n a night cap... But I've ran out of craft beers n ciders. Hmm see how...
Friday, October 19, 2012
Awake at 2.30am...
Today is another work event whereby the different levels head out to an area to sketch n do painting. For the second year, I'm headed to the same venue.
So I went more prepared. In my exercise gear with knee & ankle guards plus sport shoes. My job as it turned out was to rotate every half-hourly among 3 designated spots. I still had some files n books to check which I packed into my backpack n brought along. Cleared all except one which I later cleared it at the workplace n returned to students.
I was glad in a way I didn't have to take pics, which meant I didn't have to climb all over Fort Canning with the slopes n hilly incline. I did that last year and ended the work day with a sore right knee. Today was better.
Though it was abruptly cut short by the rain which poured near lunchtime. I was under shelter then and just stayed and ate lunch more leisurely. It was kinda heavy so the students were gathered slowly n after an hour... Or it felt like an hour, we headed back. Not that I don't have some discipline issues n eye-ball rolling... Think this year I really rolled my eye-balls too much...
Didn't have to go up until near dismissal, so cleared the coming lesson observation of sort, the plans, ws n list of questions I would ask. Finished the last 2 parts, photocopied n submitted to the other 2 colleagues to do the rest. Already decided with them the timing n date. All done and headed home.
Super-shacked, after dinner zzzZ and woke up at 1.35am, had to drink Chinese meds, brush teeth, wash face etc. Now 2.41am and haven't gone back to sleep yet. Think I can but just not as restful.
Tomorrow I am looking forward to Indian food courtesy of my final Groupon. Haven't been looking at it at all. Got rid of that habit if daily checking. Still on it now n then but I am careful with the deals I buy, not so much impulse. More of dining deals, goods. No courses, most are not convenient.
So I went more prepared. In my exercise gear with knee & ankle guards plus sport shoes. My job as it turned out was to rotate every half-hourly among 3 designated spots. I still had some files n books to check which I packed into my backpack n brought along. Cleared all except one which I later cleared it at the workplace n returned to students.
I was glad in a way I didn't have to take pics, which meant I didn't have to climb all over Fort Canning with the slopes n hilly incline. I did that last year and ended the work day with a sore right knee. Today was better.
Though it was abruptly cut short by the rain which poured near lunchtime. I was under shelter then and just stayed and ate lunch more leisurely. It was kinda heavy so the students were gathered slowly n after an hour... Or it felt like an hour, we headed back. Not that I don't have some discipline issues n eye-ball rolling... Think this year I really rolled my eye-balls too much...
Didn't have to go up until near dismissal, so cleared the coming lesson observation of sort, the plans, ws n list of questions I would ask. Finished the last 2 parts, photocopied n submitted to the other 2 colleagues to do the rest. Already decided with them the timing n date. All done and headed home.
Super-shacked, after dinner zzzZ and woke up at 1.35am, had to drink Chinese meds, brush teeth, wash face etc. Now 2.41am and haven't gone back to sleep yet. Think I can but just not as restful.
Tomorrow I am looking forward to Indian food courtesy of my final Groupon. Haven't been looking at it at all. Got rid of that habit if daily checking. Still on it now n then but I am careful with the deals I buy, not so much impulse. More of dining deals, goods. No courses, most are not convenient.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Krav injuries & feeling kinda blue
My right cheekbone is still slightly sore. Thankfully nothing is broken. Through that incident, I learn never to carry the pad so high up. Pay a price for that lesson. Incidentally I've realized the bruise on my left shin didnt fade or heal... it still hurts after a week. I think I better massage both of them to clear them up before the next lesson, coming very soon, in a day or two.
Today kinda feeling the fatique. Like really feeling sian about stuff. I wonder if it was the after-effect of such a stressful week plus the irriation onTue. Maybe its due to so much on my plate, that after a nice chill-out on Friday (eating a delicious hotdog and drinking 2 great ciders), today I kinda dont want to do anything.
I didnt want to wake up at 7am but my body clock and the unrelentling sun shone and lit up the room. I really need those curtains that can effectively block out the bright sun rays. So I stayed in bed, look at I-phone and just surf a bit. But didnt feel up to anything. So far I've had 0 mc for this entire year thus far, (Jan - Oct) so its already a record of something. Not that I dont feel ill. On some days, the cough or stomach acted up or feel so weak but still persisted.
After breakfast and later on lunch, I drank the Chinese medicine and went to sleep in the afternoon. Felt better but just only managed 2hrs. Man, I want to sleep the whole day away. Got up and just ate dinner and did nothing and let time pass by.
Actually I need to get out to buy a couple of new three-quarters kakhi pants for work cos my current 2 are super old and worn and super-loose. If I dont belt up, it could slide down my hips. Also buy some nicer sleeveless-Ts or even Ts. Cos the only sleeveless I have are the worn ones I wear to sleep. Maybe spread out these purchases over the months due to reduced spending money from having to contribute extra money to dad... sian Maybe I defer these until the end of the month, see how much extra I have to go buy stuff. See how then.
Stock was on the way up then suddenly negative economic data and it went down some. More waiting and hoping to sell then. Last 2 weeks was too busy to even think about stocks.
Am now waiting for another half hour, after which it would be 2hrs since my dinner and I can go do a quick work-out with KettleBell. Think only if tomorrow I feel like it, then I'll try to shadow some Krav Maga moves. Dont feel up to doing both. Want a quick conditioning workout. 20mins maxed with enough intensity to tone the muscles. Hope to drive the blues away with a workout too. Adrenaline is a good destressant, I've heard.
Today kinda feeling the fatique. Like really feeling sian about stuff. I wonder if it was the after-effect of such a stressful week plus the irriation onTue. Maybe its due to so much on my plate, that after a nice chill-out on Friday (eating a delicious hotdog and drinking 2 great ciders), today I kinda dont want to do anything.
I didnt want to wake up at 7am but my body clock and the unrelentling sun shone and lit up the room. I really need those curtains that can effectively block out the bright sun rays. So I stayed in bed, look at I-phone and just surf a bit. But didnt feel up to anything. So far I've had 0 mc for this entire year thus far, (Jan - Oct) so its already a record of something. Not that I dont feel ill. On some days, the cough or stomach acted up or feel so weak but still persisted.
After breakfast and later on lunch, I drank the Chinese medicine and went to sleep in the afternoon. Felt better but just only managed 2hrs. Man, I want to sleep the whole day away. Got up and just ate dinner and did nothing and let time pass by.
Actually I need to get out to buy a couple of new three-quarters kakhi pants for work cos my current 2 are super old and worn and super-loose. If I dont belt up, it could slide down my hips. Also buy some nicer sleeveless-Ts or even Ts. Cos the only sleeveless I have are the worn ones I wear to sleep. Maybe spread out these purchases over the months due to reduced spending money from having to contribute extra money to dad... sian Maybe I defer these until the end of the month, see how much extra I have to go buy stuff. See how then.
Stock was on the way up then suddenly negative economic data and it went down some. More waiting and hoping to sell then. Last 2 weeks was too busy to even think about stocks.
Am now waiting for another half hour, after which it would be 2hrs since my dinner and I can go do a quick work-out with KettleBell. Think only if tomorrow I feel like it, then I'll try to shadow some Krav Maga moves. Dont feel up to doing both. Want a quick conditioning workout. 20mins maxed with enough intensity to tone the muscles. Hope to drive the blues away with a workout too. Adrenaline is a good destressant, I've heard.
Friday, October 05, 2012
Almost hitting ex-Uni weight - 1.7kg more
When I did my last weigh-in before my stomach acted up a bit, I had lost about 8kg from the 'Peak (pig) of my life' weight last Aug, 2011. Into the 14th month of the calorie-counting n food discipline.
Then appetite affected cos stomach was unwell n lost another kilo cos I ate soupy, watery easy to digest food that won't tax it much. Body fat down to 29.8%, from the height of 38%.
Even without this bout of stomach weakness (not caused by my calorie counting, but is my recurring problem, linked to my cough), the most obvious difference is the tummy n the pants.
Slowly over time, tummy flattened out. Now relatively much flatter but not anywhere near wash-board abs. Also my right knee hurts lesser even with extra stairs. Then the belt to buckle up my work pants. Normal was 4th hole. One period of time got to buckle 3rd hole cos tight n now reaching to the 5th hole easily. Also arms less flabby and more toned.
Some muscles are more obvious. T-shirts arm-holes are easy to fit through n my M-sized T shirts are comfortable to wear. Think if I can maintain this, I need new work pants (at least the three-quarters I wear which are super loose cos it was 1 size bigger) n maybe a new pair of jeans, not so loose.
Legs still not toned or built cos I don't do leg squats due to knee. I started doing a few squats to strengthen the weaker knee cos sometimes it aches after Krav Maga cos have to use knee to generate the power to push forward.
Overall I feel pretty good, except when my cough or the linked problem of the stomach acts up. Even yesterday's Krav Maga warm-up wasn't as taxing as before. Feel my body is lighter, am lighter on my feet.
Plus doing Krav Maga gives me a sense of the surrounding - through the scanning n peripheral vision training. Won't hard out to get myself in trouble, still beginner.
Then appetite affected cos stomach was unwell n lost another kilo cos I ate soupy, watery easy to digest food that won't tax it much. Body fat down to 29.8%, from the height of 38%.
Even without this bout of stomach weakness (not caused by my calorie counting, but is my recurring problem, linked to my cough), the most obvious difference is the tummy n the pants.
Slowly over time, tummy flattened out. Now relatively much flatter but not anywhere near wash-board abs. Also my right knee hurts lesser even with extra stairs. Then the belt to buckle up my work pants. Normal was 4th hole. One period of time got to buckle 3rd hole cos tight n now reaching to the 5th hole easily. Also arms less flabby and more toned.
Some muscles are more obvious. T-shirts arm-holes are easy to fit through n my M-sized T shirts are comfortable to wear. Think if I can maintain this, I need new work pants (at least the three-quarters I wear which are super loose cos it was 1 size bigger) n maybe a new pair of jeans, not so loose.
Legs still not toned or built cos I don't do leg squats due to knee. I started doing a few squats to strengthen the weaker knee cos sometimes it aches after Krav Maga cos have to use knee to generate the power to push forward.
Overall I feel pretty good, except when my cough or the linked problem of the stomach acts up. Even yesterday's Krav Maga warm-up wasn't as taxing as before. Feel my body is lighter, am lighter on my feet.
Plus doing Krav Maga gives me a sense of the surrounding - through the scanning n peripheral vision training. Won't hard out to get myself in trouble, still beginner.
Thursday, October 04, 2012
Sitting with my kungfu tea...
Now am seated in my favorite 满家乐 sipping on a hot kungfu tea, waiting for Krav Maga to start.
Couldn't make it for Mon/Tue cos I wasn't well. But I rested and felt fine enough to go. Tried asking if Tab wanted to go on other days eg Fri, Sat but she declined. I decided to go on my own on Thur because I don't have cca cos of impending exam, next week is exam (Wed) I need to see how its like. Maybe next week is Mon or Tue.
Krav Maga has become something like one of my regular work-outs of sort cos it usually leaves me with aches for 4 days. There's just enough time to recover before it's next week already and another round resumes. So I hope to maintain a certain discipline about it. Make it a regular feature. It adds colour n a sense of excitement to my routined life.
Plus from experience, this thing called 'muscle memory' should be kept up by regular, constant practice. So a regular practice helps. Mentally can keep thinking about the moves to internalize it.
I also don't want to break the 7-day exercise cycle. It's really hard to restart once it's broken. It's actually easier to make one do it, just to get it over n done with instead of procrastinating. The effort to restart is exponentially higher. I speak from the experience of forming an exercise routine numerous times. This is more so as I have to pack my things in the morning, change a bag, set off from work intent to head down and just do it. Even that is a routine to form.
________________
Mentally I was tired. But I arrived early abt 6pm. Stoned on bus n train, then stone with milk tea, while waiting for it to start, also power-rested.
Today's class is really amusing n fun. A lot of groin jokes. I was told I had messaged early enough, and they turned away a few with package. Package got priority, given msg at the same time. Saw familiar faces, new faces. 16 pple, a big group.
Man the warm-up is still a killer plus now touch head, shoulder, knee n toes defense practice. My first time doing. Too many things to fend off la...
Learnt about groin kick n groin kick defense. We practiced the drills with a guard to practice both L & R leg groin kick. Quite fun with one holding the guard, the other kicking.
Then we moved to one side doing groin kick, other do groin defense wearing shin guards. Ouch!!! When the contact is made, since used the shin to deflect, pain. Think tom going to bruise. Then do a variation for groin defense plus follow through.
It's quite effective and nice to use the legs for a change. At least for me, the aches can now move to lower body instead of always is my shoulders, arms n back. The good thing is I am getting really toned coupled from the weight loss. Becoming leaner n fitter n stronger. Quite refreshing. Will suffer the aftermath tomorrow. I will try to keep up with it weekly.
Couldn't make it for Mon/Tue cos I wasn't well. But I rested and felt fine enough to go. Tried asking if Tab wanted to go on other days eg Fri, Sat but she declined. I decided to go on my own on Thur because I don't have cca cos of impending exam, next week is exam (Wed) I need to see how its like. Maybe next week is Mon or Tue.
Krav Maga has become something like one of my regular work-outs of sort cos it usually leaves me with aches for 4 days. There's just enough time to recover before it's next week already and another round resumes. So I hope to maintain a certain discipline about it. Make it a regular feature. It adds colour n a sense of excitement to my routined life.
Plus from experience, this thing called 'muscle memory' should be kept up by regular, constant practice. So a regular practice helps. Mentally can keep thinking about the moves to internalize it.
I also don't want to break the 7-day exercise cycle. It's really hard to restart once it's broken. It's actually easier to make one do it, just to get it over n done with instead of procrastinating. The effort to restart is exponentially higher. I speak from the experience of forming an exercise routine numerous times. This is more so as I have to pack my things in the morning, change a bag, set off from work intent to head down and just do it. Even that is a routine to form.
________________
Mentally I was tired. But I arrived early abt 6pm. Stoned on bus n train, then stone with milk tea, while waiting for it to start, also power-rested.
Today's class is really amusing n fun. A lot of groin jokes. I was told I had messaged early enough, and they turned away a few with package. Package got priority, given msg at the same time. Saw familiar faces, new faces. 16 pple, a big group.
Man the warm-up is still a killer plus now touch head, shoulder, knee n toes defense practice. My first time doing. Too many things to fend off la...
Learnt about groin kick n groin kick defense. We practiced the drills with a guard to practice both L & R leg groin kick. Quite fun with one holding the guard, the other kicking.
Then we moved to one side doing groin kick, other do groin defense wearing shin guards. Ouch!!! When the contact is made, since used the shin to deflect, pain. Think tom going to bruise. Then do a variation for groin defense plus follow through.
It's quite effective and nice to use the legs for a change. At least for me, the aches can now move to lower body instead of always is my shoulders, arms n back. The good thing is I am getting really toned coupled from the weight loss. Becoming leaner n fitter n stronger. Quite refreshing. Will suffer the aftermath tomorrow. I will try to keep up with it weekly.
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Cough like crazy
I think the haze is causing my cough to act up. Ironically by 4-5pm, it clears up or if I can stay in an air-con place longer, I don't cough as bad. Ironic.
Plus stomach acting up also, don't have appetite for solid hard food. Been eating porridge n drinking fresh fruit juice. Appetite quite weak.
Rested more yesterday, feeling better. Will try to go for Krav Maga tom, though tom is relatively heavy, no cca cos of impending exam. So try to clear what I can. Tom wear contact lens for Krav Maga in case they do more head-locks or chokes. Don't want to destroy my glasses from all the actions.
Dozing off, hope to be well to carry out all the planned stuff
Plus stomach acting up also, don't have appetite for solid hard food. Been eating porridge n drinking fresh fruit juice. Appetite quite weak.
Rested more yesterday, feeling better. Will try to go for Krav Maga tom, though tom is relatively heavy, no cca cos of impending exam. So try to clear what I can. Tom wear contact lens for Krav Maga in case they do more head-locks or chokes. Don't want to destroy my glasses from all the actions.
Dozing off, hope to be well to carry out all the planned stuff
Monday, October 01, 2012
Almost constant muscle-aches
Well thanks to my goon-do idea to go for Krav Maga the night before the work event. So little wonders I was tired the next day. Again with the delayed effect of the aches (usually it intensifies the following day) so I had some stiffness at most.
Then on the day of the event, I had 3 roles... Wtf? But bobian, just do. So had to carry keyboard, then 4 chairs, then those dividers used in banks for pple to queue, 3. I carried one in each hand, later went back for the last one. Walao, early in the morning already like having a workout. Little wonder why the following day, Fri, I was kinda sore, especially the shoulders...
So that day at the event, I was both camera-woman n later on once the event started, one of the video-grapher... Wah like whole event got things to do one, no break. I couldn't enjoy the event cos I was filming... Man mentally n physically tired after all that.
Then guess what, that after-event party, where I only offered my 5 bottles of spirit, dunno how I ended up being the bartender??? So they set up a drinks station and I was there using my measuring jig to mix Gin-tonic, tequila sprite, Lamb brother, tequila sunrise, screwdriver and the refills of non-alcoholic requests like pure juice, coke, sprite, tea etc, with slices if lemon or lime squeezed in...
Man I was glad I recognize the fact that I would be digging my own grave if I decided to bring the cocktail mixer. Cos the next day was kinda heavy for me. That's why only the jig. I had thought that they would mix themselves. I didn't remember agreeing to be the bartender. But in the schemes of all things plus mistranslation n misunderstanding, that's how things went.
Actually I prefer to just mix the drinks as the bartender. Can avoid all the small talk. Nothing much to talk about, don't feel like answering bo liao qns. So I sat at the make-shift 'counter' and serve what colleagues wanted. Some ask for recommendation but most I could do was the Lamb Brothers until the pineapple juice ran out. Later it was Tequila Sprite with lemon or lime squeezed in. The stronger drinkers went for Whisky on the rocks or Gin tonic with lime or lemon. A couple of colleagues who are around longer came over to chat a short while. These I didn't mind
but the fatigue did pile up... I made 4 cocktails for myself n ate little of the food. But I drank mainly tequila which clears up after the initial high unlike the rest where u get drunker n drunker. So after 3hrs of it, I was really zombified. Reached home n lights out.
Next day had to drag myself to work. Lessons was hard cos students couldn't focus due to fatigue. I tried very hard not to let fatigue show but it came out through some mistakes... Well we all had a good laugh about it. Man, after slogging through that, had to go to recee that Fort Canning for over an hour. I was ready to white-flag. Power rested 5 mins waiting, slept on the cab ride n drank a Rootbeer to power on.
I wanted to head out but nobody was free, so I went to eat the nice fish soup in PS foodcourt. Took bus home n knocked out.
Sat felt extremely tired though I headed out still, for lunch n dinner, spent some hours at Quet's house. That massage chair help soothe the muscle-aches... But reached home zonked.
Sunday I actually did a workout with conditioning plus KettleBell n shadowed 3 of the recent lessons. Still could practice the guitar, read a storybook n listened to the radio. Later tired n stayed indoors.
Today woke up like battery half full... Coughing quite badly that left me feeling drained... again some muscles sore... Super long day n I felt light-headed. Decided if I really cannot, won't go for Krav Maga. At most I'll do a workout when I feel better. Feels like immunity issue, haven't mc at all since the start of the year. Rather rest to go a longer distance.
Will try to take it easy though it's a heavy heavy day.
Then on the day of the event, I had 3 roles... Wtf? But bobian, just do. So had to carry keyboard, then 4 chairs, then those dividers used in banks for pple to queue, 3. I carried one in each hand, later went back for the last one. Walao, early in the morning already like having a workout. Little wonder why the following day, Fri, I was kinda sore, especially the shoulders...
So that day at the event, I was both camera-woman n later on once the event started, one of the video-grapher... Wah like whole event got things to do one, no break. I couldn't enjoy the event cos I was filming... Man mentally n physically tired after all that.
Then guess what, that after-event party, where I only offered my 5 bottles of spirit, dunno how I ended up being the bartender??? So they set up a drinks station and I was there using my measuring jig to mix Gin-tonic, tequila sprite, Lamb brother, tequila sunrise, screwdriver and the refills of non-alcoholic requests like pure juice, coke, sprite, tea etc, with slices if lemon or lime squeezed in...
Man I was glad I recognize the fact that I would be digging my own grave if I decided to bring the cocktail mixer. Cos the next day was kinda heavy for me. That's why only the jig. I had thought that they would mix themselves. I didn't remember agreeing to be the bartender. But in the schemes of all things plus mistranslation n misunderstanding, that's how things went.
Actually I prefer to just mix the drinks as the bartender. Can avoid all the small talk. Nothing much to talk about, don't feel like answering bo liao qns. So I sat at the make-shift 'counter' and serve what colleagues wanted. Some ask for recommendation but most I could do was the Lamb Brothers until the pineapple juice ran out. Later it was Tequila Sprite with lemon or lime squeezed in. The stronger drinkers went for Whisky on the rocks or Gin tonic with lime or lemon. A couple of colleagues who are around longer came over to chat a short while. These I didn't mind
but the fatigue did pile up... I made 4 cocktails for myself n ate little of the food. But I drank mainly tequila which clears up after the initial high unlike the rest where u get drunker n drunker. So after 3hrs of it, I was really zombified. Reached home n lights out.
Next day had to drag myself to work. Lessons was hard cos students couldn't focus due to fatigue. I tried very hard not to let fatigue show but it came out through some mistakes... Well we all had a good laugh about it. Man, after slogging through that, had to go to recee that Fort Canning for over an hour. I was ready to white-flag. Power rested 5 mins waiting, slept on the cab ride n drank a Rootbeer to power on.
I wanted to head out but nobody was free, so I went to eat the nice fish soup in PS foodcourt. Took bus home n knocked out.
Sat felt extremely tired though I headed out still, for lunch n dinner, spent some hours at Quet's house. That massage chair help soothe the muscle-aches... But reached home zonked.
Sunday I actually did a workout with conditioning plus KettleBell n shadowed 3 of the recent lessons. Still could practice the guitar, read a storybook n listened to the radio. Later tired n stayed indoors.
Today woke up like battery half full... Coughing quite badly that left me feeling drained... again some muscles sore... Super long day n I felt light-headed. Decided if I really cannot, won't go for Krav Maga. At most I'll do a workout when I feel better. Feels like immunity issue, haven't mc at all since the start of the year. Rather rest to go a longer distance.
Will try to take it easy though it's a heavy heavy day.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Skin now is Ultra-sensitive to sun
What irks me recently was two Friday ago, I didn't use the umbrella under the cloudy hazy non-sunny time of 4pm for just a mere 10-minutes duration.
And the next day, I woke up to a nose badly-swollen, unsightly pus-filled pimples starting to form all over. I had agreed to meet Tab n husband for Suki-buffet lunch. So I put popped some and put on a cream.
Let's just say by evening, after reaching home from dinner. I looked into the mirror to an even more serious case of pimples on the nose. Almost all the pores on my nose are painful, pus-filled pimples that hurts. Omfg... Pricked those with a needle head to get the pus out and slapped on the Oxy cream.
The next day, a Sunday, I had to head out to IMM to fix up the Internet with mom n sisters. So I covered up the nose with the Oxy cream. With the tinted cream, at least it covered up the ghastly sight... Still having pimples developing...
While I was there, I bought an untainted Oxy n an acne cream which was tinted. When I reached home, I washed off the Oxy, washed the face n put on the cream. By late evening, not so painful.
Mon, I had to go to work. By then there are still some pus pimples and some starting to dry up. I put the tinted acne cream over the nose. Told students straight up briefly about my colored-nose cos it was kinda obvious and I expected to have to put it on for several days.
By Thur, the pimples dried and the skin flicked off... Only to reveal the fact that ALL my pores on the nose are now BLACKHEADs!!! Wtf... Can't just go squeeze them all out cos that would leave scars... As if those pimples earlier didn't leave scars...
So, bought Pore-pack for women. Put it over my nose on Sat. Left it on to dry for an hour instead of 15mins. Pulled it off and stared in shock n amazement at the huge number of blackheads pulled out... It was like all sides of the strip had hard blackheads. This is the most I had ever pulled out from my nose ever.... The worst part was that when I looked at the mirror, there were still many obvious blackheads all over the nose still. Man... So have to keep this up.
This is seriously a very bad experience and the worst case of acne?? I ever had so far. It's kinda disturbing that there were signs of spreading beyond the nose area. Some parts of my T-zone are affected also whereas last time there wasn't.
All these meant, I am NEVER, ever going under the sun without an umbrella until it's safely 5pm... Rather be an "aunty" with an umbrella than suffer this kinda of double-scarring experience again... Bleah
And the next day, I woke up to a nose badly-swollen, unsightly pus-filled pimples starting to form all over. I had agreed to meet Tab n husband for Suki-buffet lunch. So I put popped some and put on a cream.
Let's just say by evening, after reaching home from dinner. I looked into the mirror to an even more serious case of pimples on the nose. Almost all the pores on my nose are painful, pus-filled pimples that hurts. Omfg... Pricked those with a needle head to get the pus out and slapped on the Oxy cream.
The next day, a Sunday, I had to head out to IMM to fix up the Internet with mom n sisters. So I covered up the nose with the Oxy cream. With the tinted cream, at least it covered up the ghastly sight... Still having pimples developing...
While I was there, I bought an untainted Oxy n an acne cream which was tinted. When I reached home, I washed off the Oxy, washed the face n put on the cream. By late evening, not so painful.
Mon, I had to go to work. By then there are still some pus pimples and some starting to dry up. I put the tinted acne cream over the nose. Told students straight up briefly about my colored-nose cos it was kinda obvious and I expected to have to put it on for several days.
By Thur, the pimples dried and the skin flicked off... Only to reveal the fact that ALL my pores on the nose are now BLACKHEADs!!! Wtf... Can't just go squeeze them all out cos that would leave scars... As if those pimples earlier didn't leave scars...
So, bought Pore-pack for women. Put it over my nose on Sat. Left it on to dry for an hour instead of 15mins. Pulled it off and stared in shock n amazement at the huge number of blackheads pulled out... It was like all sides of the strip had hard blackheads. This is the most I had ever pulled out from my nose ever.... The worst part was that when I looked at the mirror, there were still many obvious blackheads all over the nose still. Man... So have to keep this up.
This is seriously a very bad experience and the worst case of acne?? I ever had so far. It's kinda disturbing that there were signs of spreading beyond the nose area. Some parts of my T-zone are affected also whereas last time there wasn't.
All these meant, I am NEVER, ever going under the sun without an umbrella until it's safely 5pm... Rather be an "aunty" with an umbrella than suffer this kinda of double-scarring experience again... Bleah
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Thoughts - trying to sort issues bugging me out positively
Several thoughts on my mind, from things that arose.
1) The extra $300 monthly plus $5k upgrading, I had thought through and decided on my plan.
For the $5k since it's to be put in by 2-3 years time, the next time the stock prices dip low enough, I will throw in $5k extra to buy the shares that I will manage those to get profits (excluded from my normal portfolio) and use that to help defray the $5k itself. So if I can make $1k profit, then it meant just a dent of $4k on my reserve and so on.
The monthly $300, I will incorporate into my monthly budget n end up with 50% less spending money. Just have to be frugal in dining outside, not every meal is restaurant/cafe. More hawker, coffeeshop style for me.
I also remind myself that I should enjoy the fruits of my labor (work), n not become a Scrooge or live in some type of post-70s mentality... That is so common whenever I look at my dad n the family back in Msia. Yep so if I need to buy something, I still will.
Like how I just bought a new 23 inch LED TV, plus a small tv fan just yesterday cos my tv died on me. The irony was I was at home. No one jio so contented to stay at home, save money. Next thing I know my tv died, forcing me to be extremely bored, have to spend $$$ and next day have to go out to get one. But once I set up my Tv, I don't have so many things I wanna watch... Irony. Nevermind, tomorrow then I try the PS2 on it and see how. Can restart gaming?
2) Thinking about work. It has it's pros n cons, and being human, a pessimistic one, we often focus on the cons, specifically the pay. Well local educators getting a pay raise. Me? The fact that everyone is on a yearly contract renewable makes me feel unsettled. Well I do consider finding a job to settle into more permanently, I am not sure if I'll be renewed... The last resort would be to go back to the system.
I remind myself to look at it on a more positive side; reduced admin, marking, nicer milder students generally, close to home, fixed hours, pure holidays.
Considering these, it's not bad. I am somewhat happier though it is kinda lonely cos I don't do small chat, so kinda stereo-typed in some way. Plus am I burning my bridge?
Yet everyone of those whom I worked closely with n know me, are almost gone... Every year gotta work with people who leave in batches... The 3 year cycle is almost up. Meaning those who joined at the same time as me, would have left by end of this academic year. Kinda sad.
I focus on finishing my work, going the extra mile for students, making their lessons more interesting and making activities that are skill-specific to somewhat fix the language deficiency I see. For those, I think I do a decent n good job. Who would know about that? I dunno, I don't go around and blow my own trumpet like some... Well I got an observation coming up, let's see if I can impress. But I still have some parts to prepare, can only do on my lighter days. Tom is get through the heavy day, make some lesson ideas into actual soft-copy ws / activity cards.
3) Health n aging is one of the main reason why I decided no more assignments unless it's super close to me and only once a week. Cos doing twice cuts out a lot of time for other things in my life. The extra money is welcomed but not the fatigue.
Having to work "2-shifts" is something I did since the temp days prior to joining teaching. It was something I could do then but I find my stamina falling as I age. Finally reached the point where I decided not to do it for an entire year. See if the lack of that income impacted me? Can rest more, have more time on hand, could pursue a course, do work-out, sleep etc.
I kinda enjoy the extra time n not the burden of having to rush after-work to head to assignment. Now I squeeze the public transport only cos I'm heading to town. Can take bus leisurely at my own pace.
The extra $$ could have helped defray the $300 but as it is, I am nursing my health though Chinese TCM, weekly consultation, twice daily brown powder meds, abt $200 a month. I don't see the need to go pia so hard to make extra $$$ only to spend $$$ to nurse my health if it dwindled thereafter. Totally not worth it.
It's great that my hair drop reduced some, still have but not like the worst. Also my sense of heatiness is abating, meaning I don't always feel so thirsty n heaty n keep having to drink water incessantly. That is a first for me, so it meant this sinseh is power.
It's a plus that finally after 1 year's effort of calories tracking and reduction, I have acquired the discipline n ability to make life-style changes eg cut down on iced cold drinks drastically. So that is helping me out in managing the health aspect. Man, but knowing myself, I still can't stop immediately. Into my 5th week of monitoring my icey drinks n limiting them consciously, I have reached the lowest of once-a-week. Will aim to keep to that first then move to once-every two weeks. That would help my cough a lot.
Need to work on my late nights gradually too. But that one I think work helps. Forces me to sleep earlier gradually. Still about 1am for now, soon it will go earlier as tiredness comes into play.
4) As for the bigger and wider issue of how to live this life better? A single life also and with it the series of issues n problems accompanying.
That I have no answer for myself. Whether I like it or not, everyday passed is the way I am living this life. Only with hindsight, can I see myself more clearly.
But one thing I've learnt from that time of being burnt-out, quitted, family problems is that things kinda do resolve with time just whether u liked the outcome with hindsight. Every step n decision made us somewhat the answer we seek, cos it leads to the outcome n pave for the next step. Hence the quote I saw "Life is led forward, not lived backwards". Guess this means that not knowing what you want, having doubts n fears are normal things to face. Think everyone struggles with these. What this meant for me is, I can only go along with it, make the choices, struggle n hope for the best.
1) The extra $300 monthly plus $5k upgrading, I had thought through and decided on my plan.
For the $5k since it's to be put in by 2-3 years time, the next time the stock prices dip low enough, I will throw in $5k extra to buy the shares that I will manage those to get profits (excluded from my normal portfolio) and use that to help defray the $5k itself. So if I can make $1k profit, then it meant just a dent of $4k on my reserve and so on.
The monthly $300, I will incorporate into my monthly budget n end up with 50% less spending money. Just have to be frugal in dining outside, not every meal is restaurant/cafe. More hawker, coffeeshop style for me.
I also remind myself that I should enjoy the fruits of my labor (work), n not become a Scrooge or live in some type of post-70s mentality... That is so common whenever I look at my dad n the family back in Msia. Yep so if I need to buy something, I still will.
Like how I just bought a new 23 inch LED TV, plus a small tv fan just yesterday cos my tv died on me. The irony was I was at home. No one jio so contented to stay at home, save money. Next thing I know my tv died, forcing me to be extremely bored, have to spend $$$ and next day have to go out to get one. But once I set up my Tv, I don't have so many things I wanna watch... Irony. Nevermind, tomorrow then I try the PS2 on it and see how. Can restart gaming?
2) Thinking about work. It has it's pros n cons, and being human, a pessimistic one, we often focus on the cons, specifically the pay. Well local educators getting a pay raise. Me? The fact that everyone is on a yearly contract renewable makes me feel unsettled. Well I do consider finding a job to settle into more permanently, I am not sure if I'll be renewed... The last resort would be to go back to the system.
I remind myself to look at it on a more positive side; reduced admin, marking, nicer milder students generally, close to home, fixed hours, pure holidays.
Considering these, it's not bad. I am somewhat happier though it is kinda lonely cos I don't do small chat, so kinda stereo-typed in some way. Plus am I burning my bridge?
Yet everyone of those whom I worked closely with n know me, are almost gone... Every year gotta work with people who leave in batches... The 3 year cycle is almost up. Meaning those who joined at the same time as me, would have left by end of this academic year. Kinda sad.
I focus on finishing my work, going the extra mile for students, making their lessons more interesting and making activities that are skill-specific to somewhat fix the language deficiency I see. For those, I think I do a decent n good job. Who would know about that? I dunno, I don't go around and blow my own trumpet like some... Well I got an observation coming up, let's see if I can impress. But I still have some parts to prepare, can only do on my lighter days. Tom is get through the heavy day, make some lesson ideas into actual soft-copy ws / activity cards.
3) Health n aging is one of the main reason why I decided no more assignments unless it's super close to me and only once a week. Cos doing twice cuts out a lot of time for other things in my life. The extra money is welcomed but not the fatigue.
Having to work "2-shifts" is something I did since the temp days prior to joining teaching. It was something I could do then but I find my stamina falling as I age. Finally reached the point where I decided not to do it for an entire year. See if the lack of that income impacted me? Can rest more, have more time on hand, could pursue a course, do work-out, sleep etc.
I kinda enjoy the extra time n not the burden of having to rush after-work to head to assignment. Now I squeeze the public transport only cos I'm heading to town. Can take bus leisurely at my own pace.
The extra $$ could have helped defray the $300 but as it is, I am nursing my health though Chinese TCM, weekly consultation, twice daily brown powder meds, abt $200 a month. I don't see the need to go pia so hard to make extra $$$ only to spend $$$ to nurse my health if it dwindled thereafter. Totally not worth it.
It's great that my hair drop reduced some, still have but not like the worst. Also my sense of heatiness is abating, meaning I don't always feel so thirsty n heaty n keep having to drink water incessantly. That is a first for me, so it meant this sinseh is power.
It's a plus that finally after 1 year's effort of calories tracking and reduction, I have acquired the discipline n ability to make life-style changes eg cut down on iced cold drinks drastically. So that is helping me out in managing the health aspect. Man, but knowing myself, I still can't stop immediately. Into my 5th week of monitoring my icey drinks n limiting them consciously, I have reached the lowest of once-a-week. Will aim to keep to that first then move to once-every two weeks. That would help my cough a lot.
Need to work on my late nights gradually too. But that one I think work helps. Forces me to sleep earlier gradually. Still about 1am for now, soon it will go earlier as tiredness comes into play.
4) As for the bigger and wider issue of how to live this life better? A single life also and with it the series of issues n problems accompanying.
That I have no answer for myself. Whether I like it or not, everyday passed is the way I am living this life. Only with hindsight, can I see myself more clearly.
But one thing I've learnt from that time of being burnt-out, quitted, family problems is that things kinda do resolve with time just whether u liked the outcome with hindsight. Every step n decision made us somewhat the answer we seek, cos it leads to the outcome n pave for the next step. Hence the quote I saw "Life is led forward, not lived backwards". Guess this means that not knowing what you want, having doubts n fears are normal things to face. Think everyone struggles with these. What this meant for me is, I can only go along with it, make the choices, struggle n hope for the best.
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